The Alicorn
by Raefire
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Being an almighty Princess isn't all it's cracked up to be, I have to tell you. Sure, I guess it's fun having a big palace, dominion over everything and servants at my beck and call. And I genuinely do love Equestria and all my citizens, down to the smallest creature. Seeing them happy and harmonious is always uplifting. But the tedium – dear lord, the tedium... You ever done paperwork? Well, imagine a Royal Hallway. Now imagine that hallway stuffed to near-capacity with mountains of paperwork. Then imagine doing all that paperwork in twelve hours. Every day. For over two thousand years. Yeah. That's my job. Princess Celestia, almighty signer of Royal Budget Requisition forms. Oi.
“But Princess Celestia,” you ask, “Why not have your servants do it all for you?” Actually, I do. You should see how big the piles are BEFORE they get to me. It's just the Royal Signature can only be given by two ponies. Thank god I have help again. Anypony ever wonder why Princess Luna is never present at any major social events, celebrations, etc.? Well, if the sun's up, my sister's usually asleep. But if she's not asleep during the day, she's doing paperwork. And when she's awake at night? She's probably doing paperwork. I mean, seriously – if she didn't control the moon, her cutie mark would probably be a signing pen. I'm not kidding. The girl loves it. I can't fathom why. It's the main reason I allowed Nightmare Night celebrations to continue after she came back – so she could get a day free of paperwork and have some fun. Course, when you're such a massive workaholic like Luna is, “fun” is a concept so foreign and alien that it takes a while to get a full understanding of it. She's still learning.
But enough about my sister. More about me. I'm the one telling the story, aren't I? Before I went off-topic, I mentioned it takes me twelve hours to do my paperwork for the day. From midnight to noon. The next three hours are dedicated to hearing the more urgent issues and grievances of my subjects in equine. Given the random unique exception that crops up every now and then, that...is just as boring. Especially when you've heard the same arguments over and over and over and over again for centuries. Honestly, I adore my citizens – but how many times can two farmers covet a single tract of land so fiercely, they're unwilling to split it between them until I decree that they must? Really? Is it truly that difficult to practice the values of sharing and harmony without having to come to me? I swear, I remind them every day, but for some ponies it just feels like my words go in one ear and right out the other...
Yet, all that work and boring tedium is necessary to making Equestria run – and besides... It's worth it in the end run, because it all makes the next nine hours of my day that much more special for me. You see, despite common belief, we alicorns don't actually live forever. We just happen to live for a very, very long time. Four thousand years is the average. Some of us have lived much longer than that, but it's an extremely rare occurrence. And yes, before you ask, it is quite painful to watch those I care for constantly pass away before my eyes – but it's only a lonely life if you make it so. And in order to make it not so lonely, we must find a mate. The 2nd main job of an alicorn is to breed a child. A child that will inherit their name, their legacy and all the duties that come with it. But we have a slight disadvantage. Regular ponies are lucky: They can seed as many babies as they want to. Alicorns, on the other hoof... There's a reason our species is so rare. Alicorns can only produce one offspring in their life. We get one shot, and that's it. If we don't hit that bullseye, well... Yeah. You get the idea. The upside to the whole thing is if we do find a mate and get married. Once married, the spouse of an alicorn gains how many years of life that alicorn has left on them. A married alicorn never dies alone. It's a wonderful incentive.
And that's where my story comes into the present. It's a very special one of those special nine hours, and I can't be late – or else a certain purple unicorn in Ponyville who's stolen my heart will be very unhappy. With just a few more fresh gallops, the buckles on my little saddlebag jingling away, I finally arrive at the building. I check around, an extremely relieved sigh escaping my lips. Good. I'm not late.
The doors open. Here she comes, bounding towards me.
“DADDY!”
Meet Dinky Doo, my daughter. My wonderful, sweet daughter.
Now, you might be wondering just why she's calling a mare like me 'Daddy.' Well, I probably should have mentioned earlier that right now, I've changed myself into a brown, spiky-maned earth pony stallion with an hourglass cutie mark. Because alicorns can change genders if the need arises. And because I'm Princess of my realm, dammit. Don't question me! The ability to change genders is another gift given to the alicorns in the pursuit of producing a child. Love can strike on either side of the fence, so if a spouse is of the same gender, this allows a baby to still be realized. Also because reproducing strictly through magic alone is just stupid. Oooh, a little glow and a baby appears in the womb! Where's the fun in that? No. Just... No. Anyways, I've been using this stallion disguise for a few hundred years now. It's a great help when one just wants to get out of the castle without a bevy of Guards tagging along. It's really quite amusing, actually. Some elder ponies around here have taken to calling me “The Time Traveler” because they recognize this body from when they saw me in their youth. There is one bothersome thing about it: I'm probably never going to get used to this package between my legs...
But I'm digressing again. Back to my daughter. Dinky. There she is, fresh out of school for the day, at the front of the mob of children, running straight for me, backpack bouncing away. She pretty much tackles me instead of hugs me. I fall to my haunches, giggling. “Hey, birthday girl! How was school?”
Did I mention it was her birthday? That's why it's a very special nine hours for me.
“Oh, it was AWESOME! We learned all about nature today! Did you know that apples, pears, plums, cherries, almonds, peaches, apricots, raspberries AND strawberries are all part of the rose family?”
Good lord. That last sentence was all in one breath. Have I told you before how adorable my angel is?
“No, I did not! How did Apple Bloom react when she learned she was related to Rose?”
“Daddy!” If her little giggle doesn't warm your heart – well, you're probably an enemy of ponykind. “Miss Cheerilee just meant the plants are all in the same family – not the ponies, too! Stop being silly!”
“Now why in the world would be I silly around you? That's your mother's job, if I'm not mistaken.” It's one of the truer things I've ever said. If Pinkie Pie didn't exist, this little foal's mother would probably be the Element of Laughter. The lady just loves to see her daughter laugh. It's incredibly infectious.
“Well, I didn't say you can't be silly...” she smiles, rubbing her nose against mine with loving warmth.
And then her face falls. Uh-oh. I pull myself back up on four feet, tilting my head in worry. “Honey?” She gives me that look. It's one I know all too well. “She was making fun of you again, wasn't she?”
“She” is Diamond Tiara. I don't know how that filly has turned out the way she has. Mr. Rich may be ruthless in business, but he's not a bad pony. Yet, Tiara's known as a monster even to Ponyville adults.
My darling paws the ground, nervous. “Y – yeah. She said mean things about Mommy and I again. But you know what, Dad? This time? It didn't hurt me. I feel bad more for her than I do about her remarks.”
As we walk along the neat little path from the schoolhouse into the center of town, I covertly use my magic to give me invisible eyes in the back of my head. Don't worry, I can still see and concentrate on walking forward while I do this. Princess! My eyes in the back spot Diamond Tiara. The filly is staring daggers at us, thinking we can't see her. When the schoolcarrriage arrives, however, something in her eyes change. The carriage pulls away with only her in it... and now I think I know that girl's problem. That is going to have to be rectified later on. Hopefully, Mr. Rich RSVPed our invitation by now.
I dispense the secret magic and focus back on my filly. “Well, Dinky, it's good to hear you're not letting it get to you anymore. You're already strong, and I'm glad to see you add to that strength with a growing maturity. Even the Princess has to deal with quite rude insults from time to time. It makes me very proud to know you'll be able to handle the ones that will be thrown at you over the course of your life.”
“But, Daddy... Can't the Princess throw anyone who insults her in jail?”
Oh, the times I have wanted to... “She certainly has the power and authority to do so, yes. But silencing other ponies just because they don't agree with her? That wouldn't be very kind and noble, would it?”
“Hmm... I suppose not.” She takes a look around, stopping. “Uh...Dad? I think we missed our road.”
“Yep,” I confirm. “We're going into town first to run a few special errands before we go home.”
“Huh?”
We enter the center of Ponyville, right smack dab in the middle of the Mane Street Marketplace. I so do love this place. The sounds of bargains being haggled and the smell of fresh meals from the food carts are just so much more pleasing than anything in Canterlot. In the last thousand years, I don't think I've seen a single native Canterlotian's face. All I've seen is the bottom of their jaws thanks to their snobby, upturned noses. It wasn't always that way. I just pray Ponyville doesn't expand itself too much and grow into that, either. I love being reminded of the Canterlot that I grew up in all those many years ago.
“Daddy, where are we go–” Her eyes light up the moment she realizes I'm not stopping at any of the normal shop stands, and that my destination is the building designed to look like a gingerbread house with a cupcake on top of it. Sugarcube Corner. One of her – and her mother's – favourite places. “Yes!”
“You may have ONE cupcake while I pick up something for your mother. I'm not going to spoil you for dinner. Trust me, I'm pretty sure you're going to get plenty to eat tonight. Don't want you stuffed now.”
“Why are you picking up something for Mom?” she asks me. Hunh. Thought she'd have remembered.
“Because, sweetheart – remember, today's not only your birthday – it's also the anniversary of when your mother and I first met. It was just a happy coincidence that you were born on the same day.”
“Oh, yeah. Makes remembering your anniversary a lot easier, doesn't it?” She grins slyly.
Ouch. Touché, my little pony.
“Hey now... Hey now... That was uncalled for!” I mockingly protest.
She mocks back. “I'm not the one who scheduled business trips on her birthday the last two years!”
Well, it WAS business... Nightmare Moon and Discord both decided to return on her mother's birthday.
“I sent cards! And besides...” I draw the little squirt in close with my hoof, nuzzling her lovingly. “Didn't we have the best parties ever once I got back?” She thinks about it, and nods. “Course we did. And there's something even better for you tonight. Come on. I'll give you a dragonback ride into the store. One, two, three!” She spritely swings herself up onto my back, hooves wrapped around my neck. I walk into the store on my back hooves, smiling as Pinkie Pie appears. “Why hello there, Miss Pie!”
“Hi there! Oh, hey, it's birthday girl! Somepony ordered ahead for you, special filly!” In an instant, the pink pony is right beside my precious, holding out a decorated version of her favourite type of cupcake – and blowing a noisemaker in her face, which tickles Dinky's nose. God, I LOVE that giggle...
I drop to all hooves and Dinky slides off. She looks at me as Pinkie sets the cupcake down on a table – which, being Pinkie Pie, was pulled out of absolutely nowhere. Pinkie must have a unicorn horn that didn't grow out. I've never seen an earth pony with her abilities. Such a weird, yet delightful pony.
I nod. “Go on, Dinky. I'll only be a minute or so.” I turn to the counter – and Pinkie's looking right at me. God, if she wasn't on my side, I'd be absolutely terrified of her. Even I can't move that damn fast... After settling down, I lower my voice to a whisper. “Is the special order I submitted all ready, Pinkie?”
“Yep!” she whispers back. “It's all ready to go. This is going to be one of best parties I've ever thrown!”
“Don't get carried away on that now. Remember, this night is for her.” I nod at the cupcake devourer.
“Oh, don't worry, your Highness!” Pinkie whispers back, winking. She knows who I am. Hay, just about every pony in Ponyville knows. Dinky's mother knows, of course. It's really more of an open secret than a secret secret, honestly. Some ponies haven't figured it out yet. Most of the young ones, usually, though some adults still don't know. I seriously don't know how Dinky HASN'T figured it out yet. She's so bright, and loves learning as much as Twilight. Surely she'd have cracked it by now. But nope. Not unless she's hiding the fact that she knows. “Uh-oh. She's done eating.” Pinkie's voice rises back to normal. She produces a box of my beloved's favourite food. “Here you go, Sir! Thanks!”
Taking the box with my teeth, I turn back to my daughter. I mean to ask “Dinky? All ready?” – however, with my mouth currently full, it comes out sounding more like “Vrnky? Vall Ruddy?”
She's using her magic to wipe her mouth with her napkin. Adorable. She smiles up at me. “Now I am!” She joins me, and her horn glows. “Here, Daddy, lemme get that for you.” The box is plucked out of my mouth and she floats it into my saddlebag. “That way you can still talk to me without sounding like you just filled your mouth with marbles.” I cannot hold back my chuckle. I love this girl so much.
“Why thank you, dear! You're really getting a hang of your magic!”
“Really?” Her magic ability is something she's proudest of. I've feinted not having magical knowledge to keep up with my earth pony guise, so she's learned all on her own. And she has come so very far.
“Really. Fact, I think it might be good to set you up with some lessons! I think I overheard earlier today that Princess Celestia is looking for a new student.” I grin wide enough for her to get that it's a joke.
She almost hits me, laughing but also a tad annoyed. She would LOVE to have, um... me – teach her. “Don't say things like that, Dad! You almost had me believing you for a second! You meanie stallion!”
I scoff. “Meanie? I would never be mean to you, sweetie.” I pull her in close again, kissing her on the head. “Honestly. I do think it's time for you to have some proper magic lessons. I'll talk to the unicorns around the town. I'm pretty sure Twilight Sparkle would be ecstatic at the chance to teach you magic.”
“Twilight? I don't want Twilight to teach me. Can you ask Sparkler?”
Sparkler is one of her mother's co-workers, and is like a big sister to the girl. She's practically family – even participates with Dinky in the Sisterhooves Social every year. She'd be more than happy to help tutor our Dinky – but to be brutally honest about it, Sparkler's magical skill is...pretty average, at best.
“I don't know, honey...Sparkler's awfully busy... But you know what? We'll ask her.”
She hugs me. “Thanks, Dad. That really means a lot to me. I promise, I won't let you or Mom down.”
“Dear... You'll never let us down. We're your parents. We'll always love you, no matter what happens.”
“No matter what happens?” Oh, there she goes again, pushing the question. Sneaky young lady, her.
“Well, I mean – if you use your magic to release Discord from his prison and decide to team up with him, then we might have a problem on our hooves... But you're not planning to go do that, I'm sure.”
She grins. “You're sure? I mean, even Mommy liked the chocolate milk-filled cotton candy clouds...”
Well. Someone's inherited the Royal Attitude, all right. I wonder if Luna's been visiting her after dark... I dismiss it with an eye roll. “All right, all right, funny filly... Let's get on home now. I'm sure if you develop your magic enough, you can make your own chocolate milk-filled cotton candy clouds.”
“Oh. Yeah!” She happily skips – me breezily joining in a few times – almost all the way back home.
And when I say home, I mean it. The castle may be where I live, but this small house in Ponyville is what I truly consider home. Fact, once my plan is complete tonight, I'm going to uproot this building and drop it in the castle's yard, so we can all keep living like the family we are, in the house we love.
We reach the door, and I start to fish for the key in my saddlebag – but I can't resist giving my precious another chance to show off for me. “Dinky, sweetie, I have a challenge for you: Find the keys in my saddlebag so we can unlock the house. But there's a catch: You can't use your hooves. Or your teeth.”
“Ugh... Really? You call that a challenge, Dad?” Within seconds, the keys are floating in front of me. Horn aglow, she unlocks the door and opens it. “I can't believe you'd call that a cha-OOF!”
She's suddenly swept into an excited blur of light yellow mane and grey hide. “DINKY MUFFIN!”
“Second challenge:” I ad-lib. “Find a way to avoid your mother when you open the door.”
Dinky frowns, tangled in a mass of hooves and wings. “Oh, you're a cruel father.”
The pony holding her giggles in amusement at the snap. It's clear where Dinky got that cute trait from.
Mares and Gentlecolts, meet my beloved. The pegasus who managed to capture my heart after two thousand years. The most beautiful, caring pony I have ever met in my life. Lover of muffins, and the greatest mother in all of Equestria. Ditsiana Doo – known to me as Ditsi, colloquially known around town as Ditzy Doo. And to those who dare insult her with 'retard,' just know that the only reason you haven't died in a fire yet is because I'm Princess and that would be very bad manners.
Ditsi is Ponyville's dedicated mailmare, and the bubbles on her flank match her personality perfectly. Like I mentioned before, she's really a lot like Pinkie Pie – just without all the damned creepy aspects.
She rubs her nose against Dinky's lovingly. “Now now, Dinky muffin, let's not be a grumpy-wumpy!” she teases. “Your father's right – that is quite a challenge! He certainly managed to find a solution!”
Dinky crosses her hooves.“Yeah, by throwing his daughter under the carriage... And really, Mom? 'Grumpy-wumpy'? I'm not a baby anym – No, wait! Ah! NO, MOM, DON'T – AH! AHAHA!” She breaks out into fits of laughter from her mother blowing raspberries – or bubbles, as Ditsi puts it – all over the most ticklish parts of her body. “Okay, okay, OKAY! AHAHA! YOU WIN! YOU WIN!”
Ditsi smiles warmly while the laughter subsides. “You may not be a baby anymore, but you're still as ticklish as you were the day you were born, my little muffin...” A motherly kiss to her daughter's cheek, and she gently sets Dinky on the ground. “Now then, do you have any homework tonight, sweetie?”
“Aw, what? I still have to do homework on my birthday? No fair!”
“Your father and I have to work on our birthdays. That's not fair, either. But that's life!”
“But I don't have that much! It'll take me like ten minutes! I can do it in the morning before school!”
Ditsi rubs her nose against the side of her head. “So why don't you just take ten minutes and be done with it now? And that way I won't have to worry about you being late to class in the morning.” Dinky grumbles again. “Dinky... Don't get upset, please. I don't want to see you upset on your birthday. Oh – and did I mention if you go finish your homework now, we'll let you have an early birthday surprise?”
And just like that, Dinky is up in her room, diligently working on her homework. I think I can still see flames on the staircase where she was running. I bring out my covert magic eyes again to keep watch on her, while my main eyes finally set themselves upon the disparately directional eyes of my lover.
She grins, trotting over to me. “Works every time.”
I lay a big kiss on her lips. Her wings pop up in surprise, having expected only a cheek peck. Her blush afterwards – so sexy... “Well, somepony's in the mood... Should we get Sparkler to babysit tomorrow?”
“Nah. Just glad to see you. Had to deal with some asinine folks today. I'm seriously thinking about an edict on bringing minor farmland disputes to me. I can't take another century of listening to that crap...” I move to the kitchen, away from the foyer so Dinky can't overhear as well. “How was your work?”
“Oh, the usual. Nothing really interesting happened, aside from getting all the RSVPs for tonight.”
“Anypony else not coming?” A shake of the head. “Oh, good. So it's going to be one nice big party.”
Her nose suddenly juts out, and she starts sniffing around me like a bloodhound. “I smell something...”
Uh-oh.
“Smell what? I always smell good...” I smile, backing away. She follows me intently.
“It's not you...”
A dance slowly begins, her circling me, I keeping the saddlebag just out of reach of her hooves.
And then she simply glomps me. Oof. “Hah!” she giggles, opening the saddlebag and taking out the box of muffins. “One day you're going to learn that it's impossible to hide muffins from me, your Highness.”
“I did not intend to hide them. I intended to wait two more seconds until I was near the kitchen table.”
“Oh.” She blushes again. “My bad.”
“Go on,” I urge. “Open the box now. You've already got it in your hooves.”
Her eyes light up the moment she sees them. “Oooh! Strawberry muffins! Yay! My favourite!”
I wrap her up in my hooves from behind. “Happy anniversary, my precious strawberry muffin.”
“You remembered! You're so romantic...” She leans back and runs her hoof through my disguise's spiky mane, and opens her mouth to kiss me. It's about to be another wonderful moment with her where time just seems to freeze.
So of course my covert magic eyes catch Dinky leaving her room right then. Oi, children. “Maybe we should have Sparkler babysit tomorrow...” I wink. “Dinky, you better be done with your homework!”
“Gah! How do you always know?!?”
“My job requires me to have very good hearing, remember? Now, are you done with your homework?”
I can see Dinky rolling her eyes. “Yes, Dad!”
“Well, let your mother come up and check it over with you, then you can come down and see your surprise!” Ditsi pushes me with a look of really? “Well, uh... Somepony's got to set up the surprise.”
Now it's her turn to roll her eyes. It's a hynoptizingly amazing action, considering her eyes are already pointed in two different directions. “You owe me for this one, darling,” she huffs, heading to the stairs.
“Oh, I'll make it up to you later...” I grin, admiring her beautiful plot as she goes.
I kill the covert eyes again, concentrating to prepare myself for what's to come next. If my wings were present right now, they'd be flittering with nervousness. Yes, citizens – even your beloved Princess Celestia gets butterflies in her stomach sometimes. Not often, but this is definitely one of those times.
Moments later, after some fussy whining from Dinky – no doubt over having some of her homework answers corrected – I hear a cheery “See? You were mostly right... Now hop on my back and let's go!”
Immediately followed by a “Wheee!” from Dinky as her mother flies her back down the stairs, through the living room, and into the kitchen. Dinky's still laughing while Ditsi puts her hooves on the ground.
The excited filly looks up at me. “Okay, I'm done! What's the surprise, Daddy?”
Sweat drips of my forehead. Here goes nothing... “Dinky, you know how you've always wondered how you ended up a unicorn when your parents are an earth pony and a pegasus?” She nods, some slight confusion furrowing her brow. “Well – There's actually a very good explanation for that. You see:”
My body shimmers, pain shooting through all my bones. The transformation always hurts a little bit, and this time is no exception. Dinky watches in utter fascination while I start to grow to my true height. My mane loses its spikiness, extends out and slowly changes to its normal sparkling pastel rainbow colour. My wings free themselves from the prison of the disguise – and my horn appears last of all.
The shimmering ceases, and I look down at my daughter – my true form finally revealed to her.
“You actually do have unicorn blood in you.”
Surprisingly, instead of the shock and confusion that I expected to see, she's still gaping open-jawed in complete fascination at the sight of me. She glances at Ditsi. “I'm the daughter of Princess Celestia?”
Ditsi is tearing up with joy. “Yes, honey. Yes, you are.”
“Oh, that's so cool!” My girl runs over to me, lovingly hugging my leg. I lie down to be back closer to her eye level. Amazing. Not even a hint of 'Okay, prove you're Princess Celestia' from her. Total –
“But... Prove you're actually Princess Celestia first.”
Dammit.
Thankfully, at that very moment, a small vortex of green fire appears in midair, popping out a scroll before disappearing. I try to catch the scroll with my magic first, but I've been caught off guard, and Dinky picks it up with her magic and begins to read it. “Dear Princess Celestia: I'm sorry for sending you our RSVP for tonight this way – I hope this letter reaches you while you're not in disguise – but other issues came up over the week. See you this evening! Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle.”
Twilight, you have no idea how much you just saved the day once again. Well done, my faithful student. Well done.
I produce a scroll from the saddlebag, scribble a 'Thank you for replying' note to Twilight, and send it back to her. I look at Dinky. “How many other unicorns can send messages with magical green fire?”
She knows from school that only the Princesses are capable of this. Her eyes light up in pure joy, and she hugs me with all the love she can muster. “Oh, this is so awesome!” She studies me quizzically. “Uh...It is okay if I still call you Dad, right?” I nod. “And I can still go to school here in Ponyville?”
I loose a big smile. “Of course you can, sweetie.” I gesture for Ditsi to join our hug, which she does. I break off the hug when our filly starts squirming in annoyance. “But – promise me one thing, Dinky...”
“Huh? What?”
I transform back into my stallion form. “You've got to Pinkie promise not to tell anypony else at your party tonight. Most of Ponyville already knows, but I'm going to officially reveal myself tonight.”
“Uh – okay... But really? You're going to take all the thunder away from me at my birthday party?”
Ditsi and I look at each other with knowing smirks. “Not exactly...”
Dinky's thinking eyes return. Her eyebrow raises. “All right... What are you two hiding from me now?”
“That,” I answer, “is another wonderful secret that you're going have to discover tonight.” I extend a hoof to her. “Now come on, sweetheart. Let's get you a bath. It is almost time for your party, after all.”
She refuses the hoof. “I can take a bath by myself, you know. I'm not a tiny foal anymore.”
“Well, go!” Ditsi shoos her to the bathroom, having just looked at the clock. “Only fifteen minutes left!” She looks at me in questionable fashion after our filly disappears behind the door. “You just revealed to her that you're the Princess of Equestria, and you're still making her take a bath normally?”
“Hey, I had to deal with a spell on my horn that prevented me from doing any kind of magic except levitation until I was her age. It's always good for royalty to know how their subjects have to get by.”
“I see. But you're not going to be so old-fashioned with you and I, right?”
“Of course not.” In a wink's time, I've used my magic to clean the both of us up. “There. All ready.”
Fifteen minutes later, Dinky's washed up and ready to go, and we all head out to the Town Hall.
As expected, most of the town is there, including all of my faithful Elements of Harmony. At the tables set up on one side of the room, Twilight and Spike are having a nice conversation with Cheerilee, and Rarity is chatting with some other fashion-inclined ponies whose names I can't recall at the present moment. On the table-free other side of the Hall, Pinkie Pie and Sparkler are playing with most of the present schoolponies. Rainbow Dash is giving Scootaloo and a few other pegasus children flying lessons, whilst Fluttershy is showing off a few tiny animals to some extremely delighted baby foals.
Also at the tables are Mr. Rich and Diamond Tiara. Miss Tiara looks absolutely pissed off, eye knives pointed at her father. I think I can safely bet that she was dragged to the party kicking and screaming.
But any speculation I can make on her is interrupted the instant Pinkie Pie spots Dinky.
“HEY EVERYPONY! IT'S THE BIRTHDAY GIRL!” she shouts. In another instant, Dinky has a party hat on her head, and is being carried around the floor in a conga line, to the tune of a song involving the words “birthday girl” that I'm sure Pinkie and Sparkler are improvising on the spot. I casually smile and direct my lover to watch from the table directly in front of Mr. Rich and Tiara. Ditsi calmly declines – instead deciding to join the conga line, taking hold of her giggling daughter from Pinkie. I can't miss out on this – so much to the delight of Dinky when she sees me, I join in as well, taking Dinky from Ditsi and skipping to the front of the line. I have no idea what I'm singing and probably look like a complete fool, but you know what? My daughter's laughing in total glee, and that's all I care about. Besides, I'll take making a fool out of myself here over a stuffy Grand Galloping Gala any day.
And then my ears catch it: “Daddeee! Why are we even here? She's just the blank flank daughter of some retarded nopony!”
“DIAMOND TIARA!” Mr. Rich's lion roar is so startlingly loud, I miss my footing and trip, bringing the entire conga line tumbling down behind me. “Where on Equestria did that come from? Starting tonight, young lady, you are GROUNDED when you get home! That goes for the rest of the week!”
“GREAT!” Tears appear. “IT'S NOT LIKE YOU'LL ACTUALLY BE THERE TO ENFORCE THAT!”
That catches Mr. Rich by surprise. His anger washes away as his daughter cries. “Di – Diamond?”
“Ever since Mom died...” she bawls. “You've never been home from work until I've already fallen asleep! You're always working! I miss the Daddy I had when I was a little foal. What happened?”
“Oh, Tiara...” He hugs the distraught filly with loving care. “I thought you was mature enough to handle being home by yourself... But if you still need me – I can clear my schedule and make time.”
She smiles and tightens the hug. “Thanks, Daddy. That means a lot to me.”
“But on one condition: You will NEVER use that despicable language ever again. Promise?”
Tiara nods. “I promise, Dad.”
Dinky nudges me, whispering. “See? I told you she couldn't have been that bad. Points for Royal Intuition!”
I simply nod. Normally I'd give her a quick lesson on tempering intuition with wisdom and experience when making decisions – but there's one problem. My wise Royal Intuition, gained over my many years, is telling me that while the majority of that spectacle with Diamond Tiara was genuine, the little filly's still sneering a bit inside. She thinks she's just stolen the show from my daughter at her party.
Well – time for a little competitive parental one-upping.
“I heard what she said. You're a very respectable father, Mr. Rich...” I interject, standing up.
Diamond Tiara looks straight at me with a “Huh?” scrunched across her face.
And then to her shock, I transform back into Princess Celestia. “But I think all the punishment Miss Tiara needs for tonight is the knowledge that she just insulted my daughter and the mare I love.”
That face. I am not a cruel pony by any means – but when your look of simultaneous total shock, terror and humiliation makes your own father chuckle? Yeah, it's all I can do not to laugh at Miss Tiara's face.
“This is some kind of a joke, isn't it? Like, this is where you turn into Twilight and say 'Gotcha,' right?”
“Gotcha!”
“AH!” The surprised filly jumps a few feet in the air at Twilight's voice. She turns to see my student behind her, simply smiling. She looks back at me – and crumples in embarrassment. “Aw, horseapples.”
I nod warmly. “It's perfectly okay, Miss Tiara. Your outburst is understandable. I myself did not see much of my father when I was your age. But in the end, I forgave him, just as I forgive you. Although, just for reference, Miss Doo did graduate second in her class coming out of college – second only to your father. She really is quite bright. Her eyes may be out of sync, but her brain certainly is not.”
The filly is a little surprised by that last revelation. She looks at her father, who nods to confirm it.
I suddenly drag a surprised Ditsi forward with my magic. “Now, before we get to the presents, I have one thing I intend to do.” I lower myself to my haunches. Ditsi gasps when she sees the ring appear.
Did I mention I'd bought a ring? Yeah, probably should have mentioned that earlier, too.
“YES!” Before I can even say anything, she has me wrapped up in joy. “Yes! Yes, I'll marry you!”
It was then that I learned just how truly strong my fiancée is. I wouldn't have been surprised if she'd picked me up in the air while I was in my stallion form – but the fact that she's hovering with me now?
That is impressive.
“Dear, we seem to be floating a few metres in the air,” I chime in.
She looks down with one eye, keeping the other on me. “So flap your wings, your Highness.”
I chuckle, and begin moving my wings, making us spin in midair as we kiss deeply for the third time. But this time, it's a far more magical kiss than ever. Nopony even dares to interrupt us this time.
There are cheers from the crowd as our lip lock ends, and we float back to the ground. I'm too lost staring at her amazing face to really pay any heed to them. “I love you so much, Ditsiana.”
She smiles back, her eyes still half-lidded from the passion of the kiss. “I love you, too, Celestia.”
That's the spark.
But did it...
“Whoah!”
A bright glow envelops Dinky, and she begins to rise into the air. All eyes fix on her. Ours especially. This is it. The special moment the both of us have been waiting for, second to the day she was born.
“Mom? Dad? What's going on?”
“Stay calm, Dinky. Everything's fine. Just relax.”
I don't know what it is with magic and first transformations, but they always seem to lift their subjects into the air. Magic swirls around Dinky – and slowly but surely, they appear: Her gorgeous wings.
And on her flank, a cutie mark of the sun very similar to mine shines into existence. Everypony gasps.
The swirling magic and bright glow dissipates – unfortunately leaving Dinky hanging in the air with wings she doesn't know how to use. Ditsi dives to catch her before she slams headfirst into the ground. “Hee hee hee – Oh, we're gonna have to teach you how to use those new wings, my little muffin...”
Dinky is stunned. She glances back, managing to flap her wings a few times. “I – I'm an alicorn?!?”
I nuzzle her gently. “Yes. Yes, you are, beautiful.”
“And I have my cutie mark!” she gasps, seeing it for the first time. “Oh, this is so cool!”
Her friends quickly gather around her, awed and amazed, chatting and laughing away with her. Ditsi saunters over to me, and we lay our heads together, both of us tearing up in joy at seeing our lovely daughter in her true form. I take a glance back at Diamond Tiara. The little filly's jaw is on the floor.
Yeah, that's right. NOPONY upstages Princess Celestia's daughter at her birthday party.
I lay my head back against my lover's, just watching the crowd hovering around our daughter.
As we do so, Ditsi turns to me and whispers a request I dare not repeat here, for the sake of upholding my own Public Decency laws. Now my wings are the ones popping up in surprise. I don't blush very easily, but that certainly did it. My cheeks turn beet red, to Ditsi's extremely amused giggle. I had never thought of going about it in quite that way before... It definitely sounded fun. “Thy will be done, lover,” I whisper in return, trying my damnedest to stop blushing. Oh yeah. Sparkler is definitely going to be babysitting tomorrow night.
The rest of the party goes off spectacularly. Dinky gets many amazing presets from all of her friends – but we all know the best present she received was the one that came before all the gifts were opened.
A few weeks later, Ditsiana and I are married in Canterlot. I wanted to have a small ceremony in Ponyville, but unfortunately one is not allowed such a luxury when dealing with a Royal Wedding. It seems like every pony in Equestria has crammed themselves into the castle. It's such a big event, even Luna somehow manages to drag herself out of seclusion and attend the ceremonies, much to everypony's delighted surprise. I think I even catch her making eyes with Mr. Rich across the aisle...
But I'm digressing once more. Back to my wedding! With Diamond Tiara as a maid of honour and our daughter as the ringbearer, the lifelong bond between I and my Ditsi is at last sealed eternally. For two thousand or more years, our love will stay strong. And after that, my reign will pass to our daughter.
Our daughter.
The alicorn.
Oh, she's going to hate all that paperwork.
FIN
