They will always weigh in my heart
“I’ll be throwing you a super duper fun surprise party!” I didn’t say.
Then again, how could you blame me? I was so excited about meeting a new pony. I know everypony in Ponyville, and meeting them was so fun, I knew meeting you would be fun as well! So how could you blame me for forgetting to tell you that? And you had a dragon, how cool is that?
And it sure was fun, especially when you caught on fire. But it was even more fun when we went to the Everfree and went through all those obstacles that made us go Gahhh! and Bwaaa! Oh, oh. But it was even more fun when we faced Nightmare Moon, and you made the Elements appear for us, and Nightmare Moon was all Noooo! and we were all glowy and magicky and then Fwooooom! We made her disappear and then Princess Celestia came and we found out Nightmare Moon was actually Princess Luna! I mean, who could have seen that one coming? And then I got to throw a super duper big party for her, and it was amazing!
“I’m glad to have met you,” I didn’t say.
It was probably just the excitement of having vanquished a millennial evil and getting another Princess, or it was probably the sadness of knowing you were leaving. I don’t know what it was, but I didn’t say it, even though I wanted to.
But then the Princess said you would stay! And that made me so happy, because it meant that I got to spend more time with my super duper fun new friend! I think it was because of the excitement that I didn’t say I was glad that you were staying, either.
“Trust in me!” I didn’t say.
That would have probably saved a lot of time, and you wouldn’t have gotten hurt trying to understand my Pinkie Sense. Thankfully it wasn’t anything serious and I got to spend all day with you! Sort of. In a way.
I got to see you catch on fire again, so there’s that.
“Please, talk to me,” I didn’t say.
Maybe that whole “party-with-inanimate-objects” thing would have turned out better if I had told all of you how I was feeling. I was even stalking all of you, and put Spike through an interrogation! How crazy is that? I don’t know what took over me, but I regret not trusting you, girls.
“I’m sorry for how I acted, I was being a silly filly,” I didn’t say.
To be fair, I was laughing way too hard to apologise. Then again, that doesn’t make it ok, even though it was Discord's doing, I was a meanie grumpy pants, and I know you know I would never ever ever ever ever treat you girls like that. I’m also sorry I never apologised to you, Twilight. You stuck with us until the end despite how I-- How we were treating you, and I’ll always appreciate that.
“You can tell me what bothers you,” I didn’t say.
Was that hypo-cree-wee-tical of me? I wanted you to trust me when I told you about my Pinkie Sense, and I wanted you to talk to me so badly when I thought you didn’t want to be my friend anymore, but when you were worried about your smarty-pants friendship reports for the Princess I just brushed you off. What kind of super duper best pony friend forever does that?
I apologised later, we all did. I didn’t want you to go back to Canterlot and leave us behind, I don’t want that, we did told you that. Does that make up for not trusting you earlier? I guess I didn’t ask you that, either.
“Thanks for the offer,” I didn’t say.
I was so focused on trying to be a good babysitter for the Cakes that I guess I just brushed you off. I didn’t mean to, I know you had good intentions, you always do. But I just wanted to prove to the Cakes, to my friends and to you that I could be responsible too, because I can!
You helped me take care of the babies other times, but I don’t think I ever thanked you for your offer that first time.
I didn’t say a lot of things when you were all worried about the danger your future you warned you about.
I did spend a lot of time with you, I wanted to make sure that you weren’t going crazy again. “Put-the-whole-town-under-a-spell” crazy, I mean, you did get a little crazy, but it was a fun kind of crazy, I liked it.
Plus, we got to sneak into the castle wearing those nice black suits, that was fun, we should have done stuff like that more often.
“We did a good job!” I didn’t say.
And I really, really, really should have said that! Losing the Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness was awful, but it was thanks to your deductastic skills that we managed to find the culprit! And I helped too! We should have done stuff like that more often.
“Do you want to talk?” I didn’t ask.
I don’t think I have an excuse now. Sure, you went all meanie, jelly, leave-my-brother-alone pants on Princess Cadence, but I did weird, silly stuff too when I was sad, and I wanted you to talk to me when that happened.
But why didn’t I talk to you? Why didn’t I offer you the thing I wanted you to offer me when I needed it? Why didn’t I stay with one of the, if not the pony that means the most to me?
And in the end you were right, then again, you always are. I can’t help but wonder if that whole “crazy invasion of shape-shifters” could have been avoided if I had talked to you when you said you were suspicious of Cadence.
I am glad everything turned out well in the end, but still...
“Thank you,” I didn’t say.
Although maybe I did, I can’t really remember. I guess the Mirror Pool took a lot out of me. But just saying thanks once wasn’t enough, how could it? You managed to fix my mess and make me trust myself again.
You’ve done so much for me, Twilight. More than anypony has ever done. I don’t think I’ve ever thanked you enough for that.
“You look beautiful,” I didn’t say.
Even though you totally did. You were all glowy and sparkly, which fits you, because your name is Twilight Sparkle! And when you appeared in the sky, I thought I was watching an angel, though you didn’t look like the angels Granny Pie told me about, you were a thousand times more radiant, and a million times more magnificent, and a gazillion times more beautiful.
I think my stare told you everything, because your smile grew when you saw me, or maybe it didn’t. I’m not sure. But I am sure I didn’t tell you how beautiful you looked, and I’m sorry I didn’t.
“Sorry for not telling you I was the one playing the organ,” I didn’t say.
It’s just that I was having so much fun! You probably wanted to give it a shot too, and maybe the girls wanted that as well. I’m still glad we managed to sort things out, though. I mean, who could have guessed that the castle was full of traps that were activated by playing the organ? That is craaazy!
“Thanks for giving my sister a chance,” I didn’t say.
I always get along with everypony, I think I didn’t consider the possibility of my bestest friends not being friends with my bestest sister friend. But all of you still were willing to give her a chance, and I’ll always be grateful for that, because it meant the world to me, and I know Maud appreciated it as well.
“Stay,” I didn’t say.
I chalk up this one to the shock. I didn’t see it coming, none of us did. But I think we should have seen it coming, you are a Pretty Alicorn Princess after all! You have super duper important Pretty Alicorn Princess things to do for all of Equestria, it wouldn’t be right for us to hog you up for mys--ourselves because we want you to spend time with us.
Sure, it’s not as if you’re never going to see us again, you’ll come back all the time, you told me that, but…
I… I don’t want that.
I want you to stay with us here in Ponyville. I want you to go to Rarity’s house and wear all the pretty dresses she makes, I want you to go to Applejack’s farm and help her with her apples, I want you to go to Fluttershy and play with her little animal friends, I want you to go fly with Rainbow Dash.
I want you to come to Sugarcube Corner every day and eat cupcakes and sweets with me, I want you to come to my parties every week, I want you to ask me to help you with one of your fancy experiments even though I may not understand them, I want you to follow me around again, trying to make sense of my Pinkie Sense, I want you to help me take care of Pound and Pumpkin, I want us to solve a mystery again, I want us to go on adventures together.
I want to stop feeling empty when I think about you leaving.
But you are leaving, and you have to, because you have stupid Pretty Alicorn Princess things to do now that you’re a Pretty Alicorn Princess, and I don’t want you to! I don’t want you to leave, Twilight. I’m happy when I’m with you, and I don’t know why I didn’t tell you all of this before, and I hate that I didn’t but now it’s too late.
It’s too late and you’re leaving.
We said goodbye, and I cried and you cried too and you hugged me and I hugged you back, but it hurt because I didn’t know when I could hug you again, and I don’t want to feel that way because I want to hug you all the time, but I can’t and when I think back to all the times I wanted to hug you and I didn't, I want to punch myself for being so dumb and not hugging you.
I don’t know how long I hugged you, and I don’t know how long I cried, but I know I did say everything I wanted to tell you but didn’t. I knew it was too late and that it wouldn’t change anything, but I told you about how I’m sorry, and thankful, and sorry again, and that I’d miss you and you said you’d miss me too, and that you’d write, and that you’d come back as soon as you could, but it still hurt, because I felt that there were still things I wanted to say, but you were already on the carriage, and you were waving, and I think I waved too, but I’m not sure, and I didn’t want to cry, because that meant that my eyes would get all watery, and I couldn’t see you well, and I didn’t want to not see you, because I so desperately want to.
But then you turned around and the carriage got away. And I realised what it was that I wanted to say, and I cried, because I didn’t tell you, and I couldn’t stop crying, even after the girls tried to cheer me up.
And I knew that even if I got better, I’ll always have that little empty space inside of me because of what I didn’t say when you were leaving.
“I love you,” I didn’t say.
