Equestria Warriors

by ValtonAce

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Adventure, Human, Dark, Comedy
Length: 10381

A group of six fighter pilots drop from Earth in the midst of WW3 to Equestria. As they adjust to their new life, the old war begins to intrude on them once more.

A group of six fighter pilots drop from Earth in the midst of WW3 to Equestria. As they adjust to their new life in this pastel coloured land, they find that Equestria is not quite the quiet, peace-loving land they thought it was. As a terrifying old foe from Equestria's past rises from the ashes, and war once more consumes these pilots' lives, one question remains.

Who brought these pilots to Equestria?
And why?

*My first story, so please excuse the rough patches and such. Ratings are appreciated, but I won't tell you what to do.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-02-13 02:34:25 UTC

A Strange New World

"Talon flight, head to 4000 feet an maintain." AWACS spoke through my headset.

   "Talon One, copy."

   "Talon Two, Rodger."

   "Eagle One, copy. Shit, Talon Three, copy." I shook my head. I'd been saying that ever since my old squadron was ambushed by the Russians at the start of this war. The bond the six of us had shared went beyond the combat brotherhood that most soldiers had. We just clicked.

    "Talon Three, climb to 4000 feet!" Talon One said angrily. Jerk. He thought he was king of the world just because he was flight lead.

     "Lay off, Buzz." Talon Two said. She was pretty nice, but taken. I shook my head again. I didn't even know their real names. I only knew them by their call signs, Buzz and Groper.

     "Attention, five defectors have entered the Killbox. They are being pursued by enemies. Destroy all hostiles. Good luck."

     "Five? Intel said only three!" Buzz exclaimed. I punched the throttle and flew by them.

    "Wasamatter, chicken?" I said.

    "Hey! Get back in formation!"

    "Take your formation and shove it." I heard Groper giggle. I was sick and tired of people telling me what to do while Russians killed our people. Playing by the book had done nothing for my friends.

    "AWACS, we have a new fighter group. Phoenix One, engaging." I rolled, then dove. My Raptor descended, weapons bay open. I spotted the Russians, cruising at 2500 feet .

     Rage filled me as I remembered what had happened to Eagle Flight. My flight was flying a routine dawn patrol. Me and my wingman, Willis, were in the flight lead when he was hit with a missile. His plane exploded and the fight was on. Griz and Mikey got a kill a piece, before their planes were shredded. Garret and Tes were destroyed without firing a shot. I had managed to escape the melee. The whole time AWACS was trying to get clearance to engage.

    "Smile at the birdie, fuckers." I got a lock and snapped off a shot. The missile arced towards the Russian, but the angle was too much and it splashed into the sea.

    "Phoenix On- I mean Talon Three! What the hell are you doing?!? You didn't have clearance to engage!"

    "Fucking sue me." I snarled. I fired the Vulcan machine gun and stitched one of the MiGs from ass to nose.

    "Three! Those are defectors! You need to shoot down the other planes!"

    "All Russians are the enemy." I stated, violently sending my plane into a corkscrew to get on the tail of another MiG.

    "Talons, shoot down Talon Three! He's gone rouge!"

    "Yes sir!" One responded.

A tone sounded in my cockpit. Someone had a lock on me! I popped flares in hopes the missile would miss, but to no avail.

The missile struck my left wing, sending the plane into a flat spin. I pounded my feet on the rudders, but they had jammed. Pushed by the G-forces, I could only wait as my plane spiralled into the ocean. I closed my eyes as I prepared for death.

Applejack trotted happily through Sweet Apple Acres, a basket of apples on her back. It had been a good harvest this season, and she was looking forward to the profits she would be getting. She could finally fix the barn! Suddenly, she heard the sound of something flying towards her. She turned, expecting to see Rainbow Dash flying towards her. Instead, she saw a very dark shadow. The ground shook beneath her hooves and she collapsed. The shadow screamed overhead and a few seconds later AJ heard it hit the ground. She stood, shaking then whistled for Finona.

I slammed forwards in my seat. "What..?" I muttered as I opened my eyes. Trees stood at all sides of me. The last thing I remembered was flying into the sea. I popped the canopy and stumbled out. I yanked off my helmet and noticed that it was cracked. My shoulder burned like hell, and was bleeding. I pulled out my .45 and hefted it in my left hand. I heard the rustling of leaves and spun.

    "Don't fucking move!" I shouted. My vision swam for a second and I saw a shape move out of the bushes. I squeezed the trigger. The loud report burned my ears and the shape jumped back.

    "W-who are y'all?" I heard it say in a Texan accent.

    "Who the fuck are you?" I yelled back. My head began pounding. Black spots began to appear in front of my eyes.

    "A-are you hurt?"

I summed up my reserves of strength and yelled weakly "No!" Suddenly my legs gave out and I collapsed. As I blacked out I pulled the trigger once more.

I awoke to bright lights. My shoulder still hurt. I tried to move my arms and found them tied down.

"What the fuck?" I muttered. I tried to move my legs. They were tied down as well.

        "Hey! HEY! WHERE THE FUCK AM I?!?"

       "And where did you find this... creature ma'am?"

      "I-in my orchard! It came down and crashed!"

     "Okay ma'am. Princess Celestia had been notified. She is on her way. Just relax." The nurse pony finished her writing and gave a smile to Applejack.

Twilight was sitting in the library, reading up on magic spells, when Spike coughed and belched out a letter. Twilight magicked it towards her and began to read

     "Twilight, I have been informed of a creature like the ones you and I studied before you were sent to Ponyville. He is currently at the Ponyville hospital. I am on my way to transform him."

Twilight cocked her head. "I don't remember any creatures I had studied."

                     I struggled against my bonds. "Get me the fuck out of here! Damn fucking Russians! Fuck you! Chertovy Svin'i!"

    "Hello."  I froze. A... horse just walked through the door and spoke to me.

    "I am Princess Celestia. Who are you?"

Despite my surprise I spoke with as much bravado I could muster.

   "Yeah, and I'm the fucking Archduke of Puke."

    "I don't care much for your tone."

     "I don't care much for your face, bitch." I spat. The horse ducked it's head and I noticed a horn on top of it's head. Strangely it began to glow. Suddenly a beam struck me. Pain started in my hands. It felt like my fingers were tilting backwards into my hands.

     "Ha! Y...ou call that pain? I'v...e had more pain fucking your m...om!" My toes began to do the same thing. My muscles rippled and began to shrink down on itself.

   "FUUUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOOOOOOOU!" I screamed before I passed out.

                   "Ahhh!" *thud* Rainbow Dash glanced up from the ground. "Ow! Hey, who said that?" Dash pushed her mane from her eyes and glared around.

       "Um... Rainbow? I think that came from town." Dash stood and turned to see Fluttershy shaking behind her.

      "Okay, come on!" Dash took to the skies.

      "Oh no! I have too...feed Angel." Fluttershy sprinted away. Dash sighed, then rocketed away towards town.

                    "Wuh... th...e fuck?" I mumbled. I opened my eyes to see a nurse...pony? undoing the straps. My eyes bugged out of my head when I realized my hands had no fingers and were covered in...very light purple.

      "Where the fuck am I?"

      "Welcome to Ponyville."

      "Jesus Christ." I slumped back into the bed. "Something tells me I'm not in Kansas anymore." I rolled out of the bed and noticed that my shoulder was fine. There was a tear and some blood on my flightsuit, and that was it. I tried to stand. Immediately fell forwards onto all fours, which felt surprisingly normal.

      "Excuse me." I turned to see another horse, this time purple, and a...dragon? This was getting weirder and weirder by the second. "Hi. I'm Twilight Sparkle."

     "And I don't give a shit." I said. Until I got answers, no names. 'Twilight' looked aback at my statement,

     "You don't give a what?"

    "Shit. You know, brown shit that comes out of your ass?"

She shook her head in disgust.

    "Anyways, welcome to Ponyville! This is my assistant, Spike. He's a baby dragon." Spike waved hello.

   "Am I on crack or something?" I shook my head. "Jesus Christ, I was about to crash into the fucking sea and now I'm here. What is this, Hell?!?"

                  Twilight glanced worriedly at Spike. The newcomer was beginning to scare her. Suddenly he stopped dead. His left ear twitched.

   "Do you hear that?" He whispered.

   "N-"

  "SHHHH!" He interrupted. "That sounds like...no, here?"

                  It sounded like the growl of the Ul'tra Bombardirovshchik. but those couldn't be here. There was a only a few involved in the war before I crashed. I stared at Twilight

   "Wheres my plane?" I said

   "Umm..." She froze, thinking.

   "It still at my farm! I haven't touched it!" Another horse jumped into the room. I raised my eyebrow.

   "Thats Applejack. She was the one who brought you here. What is your name." Twilight said.

   "Valton." I said. Valton was my callsign. "I've got no time for this.

I heard the Ul'tra and that fucker is fast. You didn't hear it?"

All three shook their heads. The ground rumbled beneath my hooves.

   "I have to get in the air. Do you have anything that can fly?"

   "We have pegesi, but I don't thin-"

   "No, I mean planes. F-18s? F-14s? Anything." They stared as if I were speaking Chinese.

                   Valton suddenly sprinted out the door.  "Hey! You haven't answered any questions yet!" Twilight shouted after him.

   "Why is he runnin' like that?" Applejack asked.

                    My flight suit was way too big now. As I ran through the sparkling white halls I fell twice. I shrugged it off and for a split second I felt self conscious. Then I noticed that nobody else was wearing anything, so I just kept running. Signs pointed to the exit. I bolted out the doors and stopped. I had no fucking idea where I had gone down. I didn't even know if the plane was still flyable. I closed my eyes and screamed in frustration. There was no worse feeling for a pilot than being on the ground during a raid. I thought of the planes I could use here. One stuck out in my mind and I felt...something flow through me. Power buzzed in my veins as I lost feeling in everything, only focusing on the one plane, willing it to be here.

                   Twilight and Applejack ran out the door after Valton. Twilight stopped dead when she saw what Valton was doing. He was floating, his eyes open and glowing with magic. A vortex was in front of him, power crackling in the air.

   "Get down!" She yelled as the vortex expanded violently.

                    I opened my eyes. The cool grass was now scorched. I coughed, turned, and stared. An F-35 Lightning sat on the dirt road, the same plane that I had been envisioning.

   "Bad ass!" I yelled, then ran over to it. The F-35 looked smaller that I remembered. It's single engine was pointed down, ready to do a vertical takeoff. I jumped on the wing and popped the cockpit. A helmet sat in the seat. I slipped in on a HUD appeared, showing airspeed and altitude. I closed the cockpit and fired the engine.

   "Lets hope I remember how to do this." I muttered. The last time I flew this ship was when I first joined the RCAF.

                    Twilight looked up to see whatever came through the vortex take off with a thundering roar, spitting flames from it's back.

   "What in tarnation was that?" Applejack yelled, getting her hat off of a fence post.

   "I...don't know." Twilight admitted.

                  Rainbow Dash saw the plane as it lifted off the ground.

   "What is that?" She said. Dash decided to follow it.

                 "Whoo!" I yelled, as I switched from hover mode to flying. I pulled back on the stick and climbed to 3000 feet. I leveled out and took a glance around me. Giant fluffy clouds surrounded me and I saw... other horses staring at me as I roared past. I waved at them and some waved back. I checked my altitude and noticed another dial.

'Minutes to engagement' was listed with a small number 0.20.

   "Twenty seconds. Huh." I muttered, then rolled to get out of the clouds. I spotted the Ul'tra and some fighters giving it cover.

"Showtime."

                   Dash, following behind, saw the plane dive towards Sweet Apple Acres.

    "It's gonna crash!" She said. She zoomed towards it, determined to stop it.

                   I got a lock and fired a missile at one of the escort fighters. It exploded and the shockwave caused the one next to it to lose a wing and spiral towards the trees below. I pulled back on the stick hard, G-forces shoving my ass down into the seat. I fired a burst of bullets into the next plane and it too fell into the orchard.

   "Ficken Ball-Taschen!" I yelled. I felt a twinge of sadness that Eagle Flight  couldn't be here to see this. They would have had a field day. The last escort suffered the same fate as his wingmen. I turned my attention to the Ul'tra.

   "What the..." I said, noticing that the bomber didn't look like the Russian plane. It was a dark black, with spines poking out of it. It was ugly. I fired a missile and hit the first engine on it left wing. It burst into flames. The plane, crippled, fell and smashed into the ground. It's flaming wing smashed into a house before the nose dug in and it spun to a halt. Adrenaline still pumping through my veins, I took a long, slow circle to confirm the kills. Four fighters and a bomber. If I remembered the counting system correctly, I was an ace! I did a barrel roll to celebrate.

                   Dash stood on a cloud. As soon as it became apparent that the thing wasn't going to crash, she settled in to watch. Her jaw hung open in amazement.

   "That...was...AWESOME!!" She exclaimed. Dash knew she had to meet whoever was doing those things.

                   I pulled the Lightning back and came in for a landing. With a bump I was down. I opened the canopy and leapt out. I saw Applejack, Twilight and Spike running towards me.

    "Sorry about your barn." I said sheepishly. Applejack gasped and sprinted past me. I saw Twilight give me a glare.

   "What? Once a plane is going down, I can't control it. It's just a barn."

   "That was her house!" Twilight yelled.

   "Ooo... sorry." I was about to offer to pay for the damages, but realized that they probably didn't take Canadian currency here.

   "What are you smiling about?" Twilight glared, then blinked in surprise. "You don't have a cutie mark!"

   "A what?"

   "A cutie mark. It shows your special talent!"

   "What... never mind. I was smiling because I got five kills. That means I'm an ace!" As soon as the  words left my mouth Twilight gasped.

   "What kind of cutie mark is that?" I looked back and saw it. It was the RCAF logo.

   "It's the Royal Canadian Air Force logo. I was, or still am, a part of it."

   "Who are they?"

   "Pilots. Or rather, fighter pilots. They fly the things I flew."

   "Huh." Twilight said, chewing her lip. I laughed.

   "What?"

   "Nothing, it's just...you reminded me of someone." My heart ached for a moment and tears filled my eyes.

   "Ahem." I cleared my throat. The past was the past. Applejack appeared again, this time holding a bucket filled with gold coins.

   "The barn is finished, but it was old anyways." She smiled at me. "I've got enough Bits to rebuild it."

   "While you rebuild it, Applejack, you can sleep at my house. Valton, do you have a place to stay?"

   "Not yet. I was going to get some gear from my Raptor and set up camp."

   "Your Raptor?"

   "My other plane that I crashed in. Where is it?"

   "Ill take y'all." Applejack began walking. I followed.

                    Twilight was about to follow when Rainbow swooped down in front of her.

   "Who was flying this?" Dash asked excitedly.

   "Valton...Ace." Twilight replied. "C'mon. Applejack is taking him to his 'Raptor'."

   "Awesome! Do you think he'll teach me how to do that?"

   "I don't know Rainbow."

                    "Here it is." Applejack said, stopping in front of a large divot in the ground.

   "Hey, it's still in one piece! Wonder if my stuffs okay." I said, seeing the wreck of my old plane. I walked to the canopy and noticed the .45 sitting on the ground. "Sorry for almost shooting you there. I didn't know where I was."

   "S'all right. You didn't hurt me none. It was just loud."

I pulled out my survival pack out of the plane and opened the zipper with my teeth.

   "Huh. The rations made it." I muttered. "Tent, flare gun, sleeping bag, it's all here. It's all fine. I wonder..." I said. I climbed back in and looked behind my seat. I barked a laugh.

   "What is it?"

   "It's my MP7! I thought it would have been crushed!" I pulled out the sub-machine gun and placed it down.

"Some scratches, but it's fine!" I poked at the clip release. All 40 rounds were still in it. I tapped it back into the butt.

   "What does it do?"

I pointed at the .45. "This is a pistol. Shoot one round, small clip, not very accurate. This is the Machinepistol Seven. It is a sub-machine gun capable of spitting out it's whole clip in one burst. Highly accurate with forty rounds."

   "Oh." Applejack sounded dumbfounded. My ear twitched again.

   "Shit, get behind the plane!" I had heard the grumble of a jet engine, and it probably wasn't friendly. Applejack scrambled underneath the wing. I joined her as the growl grew louder.

   "Hey, Applejack! Valton? Where are you guys."

The growl turned into a scream.

   "SHIT!" I jumped over the wing to see Twilight and another pony standing in the clearing. I dove and tackled them just as bullets chewed up the ground where they had stood.

   "Get behind the plane! Go!" I yelled, shoving them forwards. I quickly turned to see the dark shape of the enemy plane climb and roll. I smiled. Whoever was flying was a rookie. The turn was very jerky, not the smooth and practiced hand of a veteran. I waited as he came on another pass. He came in too low, his gun too high to hit the clearing correctly. He roared past and tried to climb, but he clipped a tree and cartwheeled, smashing into the ground. I began running towards the wreck, wary of the fuel the plane had to be carrying. I dodged a tree and saw it.

                   The plane was short, looking very stubby, and had spines all over it, like the bomber had. I could see no cockpit. As I approached, the whole top lifted off and out came a creature. It was dark black, and had small grooves in it. A sharp horn was on it's head, and there were holes in it. It noticed me and we stood there for a second. Then it charged. I swung low and grabbed as it jumped at me, it's horn grazing my shoulder. I slammed it into the ground.

   "What are you?" I asked. It hissed at me and it's horn began to glow. I reacted without hesitation. My hoof nailed the thing's snout. A sickening CRACK split the air as the thing went limp.

   "Shit." I muttered. I placed my ear near it's mouth. Nothing.

   "Shit." I repeated. I had killed it. I must have driven the cartilage into it's brain.

   "Oh my gosh!" I heard Twilight exclaim. "Is...is it dead?"

   "It's dead. I killed it by accident. Do you know what it is?"

Twilight look horrified. Applejack looked like she was going to be sick.

   "I-it's a... was a Changeling. But they have been gone from Equestria for millennia."

I straightened, brushing my self off.

   "They're back now." I cracked my neck. "Ahhh. Haven't had hand-to-hand in months." I got some questioning looks. "Sorry, hoof-to-hoof. Thats going to take some getting used to." I looked at the un-introduced pony. She was surprisingly attractive, with a rainbow mane. She cocked her head and gave a cute smile.

                  "Hi, I'm Rainbow Dash." Dash said, looking at Valton. He was handsome, with brown eyes and a black mane. He grinned.

   "I'm Valton." She stared at him while he stared back. His eyes were warm, with a hint of danger underneath.

   "Valton, what did you do to get your...plane here?" Twilight broke in, ruining the moment.

   "You're asking me. I was going to crash into the sea when I transported here. Thanks Buzz...assbag."

   "No, I mean the other plane, the one you flew here."

   "Oh. I have no fucking idea."

   "We won't figure this out tonight Twi. How 'bout we go have apple pie at your house? We could introduce Valton to the others."

   "Okay."

The two of them began to walk away. Rainbow stayed and looked at Valton. He had tears in his eyes. Dash asked "Whats wrong?"

   "Oh, heh, nothing." He sniffed, then rubbed his eyes. "My sister used to love apple pie. She...never mind. Lets go."

                    Applejack, Twilight, Pinkie Pie, Rarity and Rainbow leaned back, contented.

    "Ahhh. I always eat too much of your pie." Twilight sighed. The others voiced their agreement.

   "Hey, Valton. You haven't touched your pie. You don't like it?"

Valton poked at the pie.

   "It's just..." He sat in silence for a moment, before standing suddenly.

   "This is great but..." A tear rolled down his face and he bolted out the door.

   "I'll see whats wrong." Rainbow grunted, struggling to her hooves.

                    "Fuck you!" I screamed, smashing a fence post with one hoof. "Why won't you let me die? Fuck you!" I smashed another post.

    "Valton? What are you doing?"

    "Nothing." I said bitterly. "Goddamn it. I thought when I died I'd be with Ev again. And my squad.

    "Who's Ev?"

   "She was my sister...fucking Russians."

   "What happened?" Rainbow asked.

   "Do you really want to know?" Dash nodded, sitting on the grass.

   "Okay. I was the oldest kid in my family. My sister, Evelin, was born five years later. When I was young, I decided to be a fighter pilot, like my grandfather and uncle. God, my grandpa's stories made his sound like a knight. When I made it into the RCAF, I made a promise to Ev. I would keep her safe, no matter what." I chuckled. "She would send letters, usually two or three a month. That was before the lockdown."

   "Lockdown?"

   "The Canadian government got extremely suspicious of terrorists. They shut down the mailing system. There had been eleven package bombings that killed two hundred people. Anyways, I was a flight lead, but there wasn't really anywhere to fly. There were tensions in the East, but hell, when was there not? Then, Russia invaded the Ukraine. The United States saw this as a hostile action, and threatened to help the British aid the Ukrainians. That was when Ivan decided to give Uncle Sam a present.

                       "Hundreds upon hundreds of Russian missiles hit America. New York, Washington, California, hell, all of Florida was destroyed. I'll never forget that day. The horizon filled with fire, and the shockwave felt like an earthquake. In three days, Russia had managed to take all of the British Isles. Germany fell next. Russia pasted Japan and China, but left Canada alone. We got a message from the Russian commander, Igor  Prndroviski. If we didn't attack, we could have all of North America. Our Prime minister, God rest his soul, said that 'Canada will never bow to the demands of any crackpot with an army.' Then, Canada was at war. Russia began sending planes to buzz our commercial flights. We started having to cover the flights."

      Tears welled in my eyes. "Ev and my parents were flying down for my birthday. I was sitting in the terminal and waiting when a Russian flew low, and shot a missile straight into the engine of the 747. It hit the ground and burst into flames. There were no survivors." I tried to swallow the lump in my throat to no avail. "I charged out and fired my guns at the planes. They had to restrain me. After that, I devoted my life to hunt and kill the bastards that killed my family and countless innocents." I looked up and saw tears in Rainbow's eyes.

   "I... I just need a few minutes to clear my head. I'll see you tomorrow." I turned into the night and walked away.

                   Dash watched Valton disappear into the darkness. Her heart ached at the torment he was feeling. Rainbow slowly stood and walked back to Twilight's. The others needed to hear this.

                    I walked all through town, not seeing anybody. I noticed a dark forest at the edge of town and decided to walk through that. I was about thirty meters from it when I noticed a flash of light. It looked like a piece of glass or something. I kept walking.

CRACK.

An orange flame spat near the glint and a clod of dirt flew up and smacked my chest.

   "Holy shit!" I jumped back.

   "Move any closer and the next ones through your head!" I heard a voice shout, but it was familiar.

   "Holy shit, Garret? Is that you?" I shouted. "It's me, Chris!"

   "Chris? Fuck, I thought I was the only one here!" I saw a pile of leaves rise up and walk towards me. I laughed. Garret always carried his gillie suit in his plane along with his sniper rifle, a Canadian Marksmen Rifle .50, or CMR 50. Garret shucked his hood and grinned at me. His coat was a dark green and his brown hair had carried into his mane.

   "Dude!" He gave me a quick hug. "How the hell did you get here?"

   "Shot down."

   "Russians finally caught up to you, eh? He glanced at my mark. "Hey, you got yours too? I got mine weeks ago." I glanced at his. It was a sniper crosshair with 1500 printed in the left bottom.

   "Got it by saving someone from a Timberwolf. I heard them scream and saw them being chased by one. I scoped in, fired and nailed the fucker right between the eyes. Next time I looked, I had it."

   "What the fuck is a Timberwolf?"

   "It's a wolf. Made out of timber. How'd you get your mark?'

   "Got mine by taking down four fighters and a bomber."

   "Sweet. Have you met anybody yet?"

   "Yeah, Rainbow Dash, Twilight, and Applejack. I forget the others."

   "I've only met Fluttershy. She was thankful when I drilled the Timberwolf. Oh, shit, wait." He ran back into the woods and grabbed a small rucksack.

   "I believe these are yours. This too." I laughed. He pulled out my iPod and old speakers.

   "Do they still work?"

   "Do they fuck!" Garret tapped play on the speakers. Rock flowed through them.

   "I checked the music and it appears you have every rock song in existence."

   "Shit."

   "Yeah, but it can only play music. RedTube doesn't work and theres no wifi." I laughed again, the name of the porn site sounding wrong in this place.

   "Hey, if you're here, maybe Tes is here too! And Will, Griz and Mike!"

   "Maybe some Ruskies too."

   "Garret! Time for dinner!" A soft voice called.

   "Thats Fluttershy. Coming!" He called back. "C'mon. She makes a killer carrot cake!"

   "How about a beer?"

New Faces, Old Fear

The CMR-50 clanked as Garret jogged.

   "Hey, I thought the CMR could fold up."

   "I never liked that feature. Made it wobbly and had less power. So I made the CMk2R."

   "Whoa, made? How? Mikey was the gunsmith."

   "I don't know. My CMR got screwed up, and I thought 'Gee, I wish I had a new one' and bam, a brand new CMR sat beside me. I thought I could do it again, so I made the Mk2. I'll show you my shed."  We walked in silence for a minute before a small bungalow came into view.

   "Fluttershy, I brought a guest, is that OK?" A small squeak came from the house.

   "Aw, shit. Hey, Chris, stay here." He gave a sympathetic grin. "She's incredibly shy."

   I nodded. "Sure, I'll just look around." Garret vanished inside. Muffled conversation came from indoors while I looked around. I saw a few animal pens, and a small shed, probably Garret's gunshed. I breathed in, and smelled the fresh air, and the sweet scent of pine. It reminded me of my parent's cabin, deep in the woods of Osoyoos.

   "Hey, Chris!" Garret's shout snapped me out of my daydreaming. I turned to see him standing beside another pony. She was had a pale peach coat, a bright pink mane, and bright blue eyes.

   "This is Fluttershy. Honey, this is Chris, my old squadron leader."

   "H-hi." She whispered.

   "Hi." I put my hoof out to shake. She didn't except. I motioned towards the pens.

   "I see you like animals. Garret was an apprentice vet before he joined up."

   "Hey! I was a full vet before!"

   "Bullshit, you inspected a dog and said it had testicular cancer before you turned it over and saw it was pregnant!" I roared with laughter. Fluttershy laughed too, and warmed up to me.

   "Chris, do you want to join us for dinner?"

   "I don't want to be any trouble."

   "Oh, it's no trouble at all. I always feed any leftovers to the animals."

   "I'm really not that hungry. I've gotta get back and grab my tent..."

   "No, you can sleep here. I have two bedrooms."

   "Ok, I'll crash on the sofa."

   "No, you can have the guest bedroom. Me and Garret can share a bed." She gave a sly look at Garret. He coughed.

   "Ahem. Uh...How about I show you my shed?"

   "Sure. Hey, you know how you made a sniper without knowing how?" We walked away from the house, towards the small shed.

   "Yeah."

   "Well, I made a plane." Garret froze for a second, before hitting my shoulder.

   "Always have to one up me, eh?"

   "Ow, shit dude." We reached the door.

   "Welcome... to the inner sanctum." Garret said. He opened the door and I saw tons of sniper rifles, scopes, ammo and clips everywhere.

   "Tis a bit of a mess." I said.

   "So? I've got everything. From the Springfield and Kar98k, to the SVU and the Ballista."

   "Whoa, wait. Those don't exist."

   "They do now. I also have shit tons of rounds, AP to Incendiary. Even hollowpoint."

   "Damn."

   "Here, I need to ask you something." Garret grabbed a rifle, slung it over his back and walked outside. "Follow me." He walked to small targeting range and set the sniper up on it's tripod and laid down. For a second he was still, then the gun boomed and the target cracked in half. He let the rife off his shoulder and turned to me.

   "Did I pull the trigger?"

   "Yeah."

   "Watch again." He waited until I was beside his before he fired again. His hoof nor the trigger moved.

   "What the hell?"

   "I know. Weird huh? Hey, make a plane for me."

   "Wha... here? Fuck, I still don't know how I did it the first time."

   "What did you do?"

   "I closed my eyes, concentrated on a plane I knew, and it appeared."

   "So do it again."

   "Ok." I closed my eyes and concentrated once more on the F-35. Power surged for a second time and again the plane squatted on the grass.

   "Dang."

It was late when I turned in. Me and Garret had stayed up trading old stories before Fluttershy motioned him to bed.

  The next morning came way too fast. The light shining in my eyes, I groggily stood, made the bed and stumbled downstairs to see Fluttershy making eggs.

   "Good morning" she called. I mumbled a "morning" before sitting down at the table.

   "Garret left to do some shooting. Here you go." She laid a plate of egg in front of me. I tucked in. After a while I came up for air.

   "Man, this is delicious. Thank you."

   "You're welcome.  Unfortunately you seem to be the only one to be eating this morning." She glanced towards a small white rabbit who wasn't eating.

   "You know, we cooked rabbits who didn't eat where I came from." I said offhandedly. The rabbit immediately gulped down a mouthful.

   "Good Angel."

I shovelled the last bit of egg into my mouth before standing. "Thanks for the room and the breakfast. I gotta get going."

"So soon?"

I slung my speakers over my shoulder. "Yeah. Tell Garret I said bye."

   "Ok."

I began the long walk to town. The morning air was peaceful, and full of birdsong. I decided it was too quiet and pulled out my speakers.

   "Time for rock." I said, tapping the playlist labeled 'Volume11'. Iron Maiden burst through, with 'These Colours Don't Run.' Bobbing my head along with the beat, I continued my march. I reached town just as 'Two Minutes to Midnight' ended. Ponies glared red-eyed through slits in windows and doors. I was stopped by Twilight who asked if I was alright.

   "Yeah. I just had a moment there."

   "Ok. Celestia sent me a message. She wants to see you."

   "Ok, I'll send a picture."

   "She needs to talk to you about the...things that you...you..."

   "Shot down."

   "That you shot down yesterday. She wants to talk as soon as possible."

   "Can I piss first?"

   "No."

              An hour later we stood at the mouth of a giant castle. Guards in armour stood at attention. I snorted.

   "Thats the protection? One crazed fucker with a M-16 could mow down the whole regiment. Hell, one plane with decent bombs could fuck this place over."

Twilight gave me a weird look and walked past the guards. I stepped past, muttering. We walked through a couple sets of doors until we found the throne room. Rows of stained glass windows reflected light through, causing strange patterns along the floor.

   "One sniper..." I whispered to Twilight.

   "Shhh!"

I looked around as we waited for 'Princess' Celestia. I noticed another pony in the back corner and gave her a crooked, flyboy grin. She smiled back. Score one for me.

   "She's coming! Quick, bow!" Twilight dove to the ground so fast I thought mortars were falling.

   "Fuck that." I said, standing tall, and ramrod straight. "I bow for nobody." I thought I heard an "Alright" from the other pony in the corner. Score two. Celestia walked in and gave me a hard look. I gave her a big fuck-off glare.

   "Valton Ace, do you know what you have done?"

   "Uh, breathed in?"

   "Don't get smart. You have killed six members of the Changeling delegation! They were flying in to show us a new invention they had crea-"

   "Are you fucking kidding?" I spat. "Those 'inventions' almost killed me, Twilight, Applejack and Dash! They were escorting a bomber, while flying in attack formation, and they shot at me! I did what I thought was right!"

   "What you did was get the Changelings angry! They've threatened war!" Celestia practically shouted.

   "Well, fuck them! The bomber could have levelled the town, and come back here for seconds! Would you rather have five soldiers on your conscience, or one thousand civilians who were doing nothing? You can take your crown and shove it up-" A burst of laughter made me turn. The other pony was rolling in the floor laughing.

   "Luna! That is not funny!" Celestia huffed.

   "Actually...hahaha...It is!" She giggled.

   "Yeah, it is." Another voice, with a British accent, called from the door way. "How you doing, you Canadian Cunt!" My jaw fell.

   "Holy shit, the British Bastard?"

   "The one and only." He shook off his armor, and it clattered to the floor. A pale, white unicorn faced me. I ran towards him and hugged him.

   "Dude! I thought you were dead!"

   "Whoa, no homo mate!" I broke away. "It takes more than an Ivan missile to kill Willis Tromer!"

Celestia turned to Twilight as the two pilots left the castle. "That...didn't go as expected.”

                 Me and Willis walked amid the crowded streets of Canterlot, as he called it. People ran to and fro, and stores peddled their wares. This was obviously the 'rich' neighbourhood.

   "Remember Charlie?"

   "Fuck yeah, the guy who snorted the whole bottle of beer?"

   "Yeah! Do you remember when we hired the stripper for his birthday?"

I laughed. "Yeah. The world’s biggest nosebleed, then he ran off to his bunk."

We kept laughing as we walked. I stopped to check out a store that sold hats.

   "Wish I still had my old Jets hat." I said, while a small alarm bell rung in my head. Three colts I had seen before were standing about a block away, staring at me and Willis.

   "They don't have my style." I said, and began to walk away. I leaned in close and whispered. "We're being followed."

Willis didn't break stride. "Yeah, they only have really shitty hats." He whispered back. "Saw them too. Two unis and a pegasus."

   "Yeah, it sucks." We turned left onto a side street, then ducked into an alley. The three followers walked up to the alley and started down it. The leader had a blue coat, an his cronies were red.

   "Sup guys!" I said. They didn't answer. "Okay... Hey, Willis, do you remember the Butcher?"

   "Yeah."

   "Remember his favourite lesson?"

   "Fuck yeah."

We slowly went into a combat stance, altered because of our new... bodies. The three kept coming. The pegasus flipped up into the air.

   "Ready." I called.

   "Set." Willis replied.

   "FUCKING DO IT!" We shouted together. I leapt, and gave a crashing right hook into the lead unicorn. Teeth and green blood hit the pavement. The unicorn changed midair. A Changeling lay on the pavement, holding it's jaw and hissing at me.

   "Shit, more of these bastards."

Willis grunted. The other unicorns' disguise flickered, and the Changeling fell, shrieking and Willis snapped it's leg with a crunch.

  "They look like fucking bugs!"

The pegasus curled and dove down. I ducked as he swooped and came around for another pass. This time I was ready. As he dove I smashed my hoof into his face. A sickening, wet crack filled the air as the pegasus' nose shattered, caving in the skull. I fell back from the impact.

   "Jesus Chris. You fucking killed 'im!" With his accent it sounded like 'focking'.

   "I...guess I did. Ahh, shit.”

   "Whats up?"

   "Fucking shoulder hurts like fuck." I rotated my arm and I felt my shoulder click. "Jesus."

   Will glanced at me. "Theres a medical place around here somewhere."

   "Yeah, sure. We jut walk in, covered in Changeling blood and ask to get patched up. We gotta get cleaned up first."

   "Theres a river nearby. I don't really want my stab wound frozen though." He looked back at where the Changeling tried to run him through with his horn. Blood oozed out, making his white coat stained red.

   "Fuck it. I'm going in. I'll say I tripped and green paint spilled on me."

The medical office was a gleaming white. A giant red cross squatted on the side of the building. I limped through the doors and approached the front desk. A nurse looked at me from over her glasses.

    "Canterlot Medical Office, how can we make you feel better today?" She said in a flat, bored voice.

   "Hi. I fell and injured my shoulder." I gave a bit of a wince as I lifted it up.

   "Okay, just have a seat and the doctor will see you shortly. Your name, sir?"

   "Valton. Valton Ace ma'am."

She lifted up her pen and made a quick note. "Take a seat please. NEXT!"

I sat on one of the couches, and closed my eyes. The adrenaline began fading when I walked through the doors. It was all I could do to not fall asleep.

   "Valton...Ace?" A voice called. I snapped to. The voice sounded familiar. I turned and saw a unicorn with a light purple coat wearing a doctors coat over a green and brown shirt.

   "Yep." I said back and I watched his eyes light up with recognition.

   "Holy Moly! Chris? It's me, Tes!"

   "Holy- man, it's good to see another familiar face."

   "What do you mean?" He looked puzzled.

   "Will and Garret are here too." A grin spread across his face.

   "Heck yeah. Karen, take the rest of the day off." He looked back at me. "I have some catching up to do."

   "First, can you take care of my shoulder? It's killing me."

   "Sure. What'd you do to it anyway?"

   "Got into a fight with some Changelings. Think I killed one and Willis broke another one's leg."

   "Jeez."

A couple minutes later with my shoulder reset and not hurting as much, we wandered through town trying to find Willis. We finally found him near the river, scooping water with his magic and cleaning his wound. A quick stitch later, and we kept walking.

   "So you just... shot them down? No warning?"

   "I was running on autopilot. I reacted like I normally would."

   "And the Bitch yelled at you, huh?"

   "Who?"

   "Celestia. I call her the Bitch because she made me work in the hospital when she found out I was a field doc. She went through all my stuff too. I had to hide my scalpel."

   "Scalpel?"

   "My Remington. It's in there somewhere, folding stock and all.

   "You know Tes, I don't think I've ever heard you fucking swear." Willis said. "You were always a 'Holy Moly' kind of guy."

   "Yeah man, what about that?" I probed.

   "I just hate her so much, I have to swear."

   "Well, I'm so fucking glad you sta-" A burst if gunfire halted Willis mid-sentence.

   "Shit, that came from the castle!"

   "Well, what the fuck are we waiting for? Lets get our asses out of park!" We ran.

Celestia and Twilight were discussing Twilights studies when the stained glass that decorated the hall shattered. Changelings stormed in, holding aloft long, slender tubes with their magic.

   "What is the meaning of this?" Celestia cried. "Guards, seize them!" A pair of unicorns rushed the intruders.

*broop*

A loud noise blasted from one of the tubes, and both guards went down.

   "Ssssss." A Changeling hissed, motioning towards Celestia. A slightly larger Changeling approached her.

   "Ahh, Princess. It appears we shall finally meet. I am...well, my name is no concern to you. You won't need it for long. And you are?" he asked Twilight. "No matter. I have no need for two prisoners. Dispose of her." A Changeling raised his tube. Before he could fire, another blast rocked the hall. The Changeling's body exploded, bits of bone, skin and green blood flying everywhere.

   "You didn't make a reservation." Willis growled from behind Tes, who's Remington clacked ominously.

   "Well, the guards accepted ours." The large Changeling replied, pointing to the two dead bodies on the ground.

   "You fucking bastard." Valton snarled.

   "Kill them." He replied. Suddenly the hall was once again filled with noise.

*ratatatatatat* *ratatatat*

"What the hell?" I muttered. The Changelings were dropping like flies as what sounded like a Light Machine Gun fired from outside. The long bursts continued until all of them were dead. Then a voice called from outside.

   "'Bought fucking time I got to shoot something." I felt a grin spread as Tes laughed.

   "Hey Griz! Where were you before this kicked off?"

   "Goddamn. You still kickin' Will?"

   "He is, and so am I, and Tes and Garret!" I yelled back.

   "Good! I was tired of being the only fucking badass in this place."

Incoming!

  Twilight blinked. She looked down at what was left if the Changelings.

  "Oh...my...gosh..." She gasped, realizing that she was covered in green blood, brains, and other unimaginable bits of gore that should never see the light of day. She felt bile rise in her throat and whipped her head sideways before the daisy sandwich she wolfed down earlier splattered the floor.

  "Oh, crap."

  Tes looked over at the two ponies.

  "We gotta get them clean. The longer the blood stays, the longer the memories linger." He did a quick spell that sent the bodies tumbling out of the window.

  "Hey, shithead! You almost hit me!" Griz bellowed from outside. Tes ignored him and quickly magicked a bucket of water and a sponge out of nowhere, and began to dab at Twilight's coat. She whimpered as he drew closer.

  "It's ok. I'm just...gonna get you clean, ok?" Tes said soothingly.

  "Holy shit!" Griz yelled as his MG sparked up, firing quick bursts as he tracked something across the sky. "Get the fuck outta th-"

His words were cut off by a thundering explosion. What was left of the glass windows shattered, shards slicing through the air. Tes saw Valton's lips move but only heard the ringing in his ears.

  “Fucking Christ.” Griz mumbled under his breath. The plane had just arrowed into the castle and exploded. “Fucking kamikaze bastards.” He brushed the dirt off of him and leered upwards.  “Oh fuck me! Guys, get the fuck out! I mean right fucking now!”

  “What the shit hit us?” Willis shrieked.

  “Jap kamikaze bombers by the look of it. More incoming!” Griz pulled at his gun, but gave it up when he saw that the barrel was pointing straight up.

  “Holy SHIT!” He bellowed as one of the enemy planes dove straight down towards him.

*BOOM*

  The plane exploded, bits of metal and pilot whizzed past Griz, thumping the ground behind him. The other planes also exploded, but not before Griz noticed a streak of light flying towards them.

  “Hey, Griz!” He heard a familiar voice shout and a grin split his face as he recognized the missing member of their flight.

  “MIKEY! YOU FUCKING BASTARD!”

  “What the fuck?” I muttered. A piece of shrapnel caught me in the head and I felt punch drunk. I glanced up and saw Willis carrying the other Princess out of the building. “What the hell hit us?”

  “According to Griz, Japs.” Willis grinned. “I say bollocks to that.”

  “Japs…here? Yeah, I agree.” I slowly got up, my head killing me. “Probably more fucking bugs.”

“Bugs?” I heard a strangely familiar voice say behind me.

  “Yeah, their called Changlings but we call ‘em…Mikey!” I turned, seeing the last member of our squad. He was still in human form, and he grinned as he placed my voice.

  “Chris? Jesus!” He bend down a little and hugged me.  “I thought they got you at the beginning. You get away?”

  “Yeah. Got downed by fucking friendly fire.”

  “Never fly in front of friendly flak.”

  I laughed. “Yeah, but they forgot to mention missiles.”

  “Speaking of missiles”-Griz walked up behind Mikey-“this asshole saved our lives. Your ‘invention’ worked for the first fucking time.” Griz was referring to Mikey’s ‘SAM in a can’, a rocket launcher that could shoot dozens of missiles in rapid succession, unlike the Stingers or others.

  “Yeah, I was surprised about that.” Mikey grinned again. “So how’d you guys become horses?”

  “Well, to be honest, we don’t bloody know.” Willis answered, making sure that the other injured parties were being taken care of by Tes. “I was transformed in this city.”

  “I was changed in a hospital.”

  “I was done in… the castle.” Griz said. I snorted.

  “You finally got to third?” The others burst out laughing.

  “What? No! I was… fuck you.”

Twilight blinked up at the sky. She felt hollow, empty inside as she recalled the savagery of the Changelings and the brutality of her own fellow equines.  A slap of hot, soapy water hit her muzzle.

  “Sorry. Just don’t want a pretty mare to be covered in blood.” Tes grinned. “You okay?”

  Twilight couldn’t help but blush. “You think I’m…pretty?”

  “I don’t lie ma’am.” Tes coughed.  "No offence ma'am, but the smell of Changeling does not suit you."

Twilight laughed.

  "Well, you are quite handsome." Twilight said wistfully. "Do you have a Very Special Somepony?"

  "No ma'am. Any love interest went up with my hometown in the Blitz."

  "Blitz?"

  "That’s the slang for the attack on our country, before we came here."

  "You mean the Russians?"

  Tes started. "You know about the war?"

"Valton told us. Through Rainbow Dash."

  "...Never mind. My entire family was killed in the attack, so I joined up in what was left of the United States Armed Forces. Eventually I made it into the air force and met Valton."

"Your...entire family?" Twilight gasped.

"Yep. They called us the 'Orphan Brigade', or the last hope for North America. Mikey, Griz, and Willis were all in it. Hell, you know what happened to Valton."

"What about the other member?"

"Garret? No one knows. He showed up, out of the blue with a sniper rifle, and the talent to fly planes. Whenever we asked about his past, he flat out refused to answer." Tes shrugged. "Well, there was one clue. He had a picture of an old man. That was the only other thing we had to go on. The guy looked like a World War II sniper or something, obviously American."

"World...War...II!?"

"Yeah. Our world was fucked up. The Middle East had a new war every day."

"My goodness..."

"They were assholes. Thats why we had so many Nazis in the States. 'White power!' and all that bullshit." Tes sighed, and then rubbed a small green spot off of Twilight's muzzle. He noticed her looking straight into his eyes.

"Yes? What up? Something in my eye?"

"No...your eyes are the most...beautiful brown I've ever seen." Twilight blushed.

"Thank you. Your eyes are pretty too." Tes said. They sat there; staring at each other, lost for words until Griz noticed what was happening and broke the mood.

"Hey, doc! I need some medical attention over here! Stop undressing her with your eyes!" The rest of the squad all burst out laughing.

"Hey, that’s not funny, man. You're the skirt chaser." Tes shouted back, his cheeks going red.

"Ha! Lover boy knows it's true!"

Tes walked over to Griz, snarling at him. Griz was easily twice the weight of Tes, even in the pony forms. Mikey saw that a fight was brewing and stepped in.

"Uh, guys? As much as I like a good fight, I feel out of place like...this." He gestured to his body, still a human.

"I'm sure Lover Boy's new girlfriend can change you." Griz shot a last jibe in before backing off.

I sighed. Griz always poked fun at Tes, but normally he always took it well. Guess he really did like Twilight.  Normally I would be teasing him too, but I think I was falling for someone here too. A certain mare named Rainbow Dash.

"Griz, lay off man."

Griz turned towards me, grinning.

"You have a thing for Tes' woman?"

I snorted. "Fuck no. No offence or anything." Twilight looked hurt for a second.

"Watch your mouth!" Tes yelled.

"Fuck. Anyways, we need to find out what the fuck is going on before we can beat the ever loving shit out if each other. Comprede?"

"Si, seinor." Willis cracked.

"Still a fucking human, guys." Mikey was looking around. "And there is now a crowd. Fucking great."

I looked over to where Luna and Celestia lay. Celestia was still out cold, and Luna was woozy.

"Mike, I think the only two who can do the job are indisposed at the moment."

"Fucker fuck."

Lyra and Bon Bon were shopping in Canterlot when they heard what they took to be fireworks.

"I wonder what the celebration is about?" Bon Bon mused.

"Let’s go check it out!" Lyra shot off towards the castle.

"Lyraaaa!" Bon Bon called after her.

I looked at the crowd of ponies that had gathered around us. They were talking and pointing at us.

"Should we say something?" Mikey asked, ducking behind me, Griz and Willis.

"I got this." I said, stepping forwards and holding up a hoof.

"Ladies and gentlemen, can I have your attention please?"

The talking died down.

"Thank you. I would like ask you not to worry. We have everything under cont-" At the moment what remained of the hall collapsed, and panic ensued among the onlookers.

"Fuck."  I said, nearly laughing at the irony.

Lyra and Bon Bon approached the terrified onlookers.

"What happened here?" Bon Bon said, looking at the devastated castle.

"Human!" Lyra screeched. "Human!"

"Lyra, they don’t exist. Stop making a fool of yourself.” Bon Bon chided. Suddenly she saw a tall figure stand up, shouting at her.

“I don’t exist, huh?”

Bon Bon’s eyes widened and she screamed louder than any other pony in the crowd.

“HUMAN!!!!!!”

I turned towards Mikey.

“You really had to do that? For real?” Mikey grinned sheepishly.

“She said I didn’t exist.”

"You fucking cunt." Willis murmured.

"Guys? We might have a riot here if we don't get fucktard outta here. Like, now." Griz glanced anxiously at the panicking crowd

"Okay, I don't know if this is going to work." I heard someone say before the world warped and shifted before my eyes.

With a flash, the group of ponies disappeared. The panicking crowd began to settle down.

"What... just happened?" Lyra asked. Bon Bon shook her head.

"C'mon. We have to get to the hat shop before it closes." The crowd of ponies slowly faded, leaving only the forgotten wreckage of the royal hall.

Revelations

"Jesus. What happened?" I groaned, trying to get my bearings.

"Anyone have a fucking aspirin?" Griz asked. I slowly worked my way into a standing position. The pounding in my head increased.

"Don't move! The effects will fade quicker!" I heard Twilight shout. I paused as I was and waited. Eventually I could see without what seemed like Hitler's SS goosestepping on my brain. We had somehow gotten into a library. As I looked around I noticed Celestia and Luna shaking the effects off. Mikey, Garret and Willis lay still, dead to the world. Tes was standing beside Twilight, checking her over for wounds. The way he was looking at her meant he was checking her out for a different reason. Griz was still on the ground, except he was attempting to stand.

"What...what did you do?" I asked Twilight.

"I used a teleportation spell. I've never used one for this many ponies but..." Her voice trailed off as Tes moved to check her muzzle. "But it seemed to work."

"Okay. That explains the hangover and the vision. But where the fuck are we?"

"We are in Ponyville. Or rather my treehouse in Ponyville."

"Fucking hell." Griz finally staggered to his feet. "Will? Mike?" When they didn't respond, he whirled on Twilight. "If you fucking did anything to them you purple bitch, I will rip off your fucking he-"

"Shut up, Griz! If you didn't notice, Twilight just saved our butts, so before you go threatening her, just remember. You gotta go through me." Tes' voice lowered to a growl. His cheeks were flushed and his brown eyes glinted with anger. Griz just scoffed.

"You? Little ant taking on the boot?" Griz grinned. "You must be in love if you would challenge me, Tes." That took the wind out of Tes' sails. He spluttered and Griz laughed.

"Dammit, Tes. Don't deny it. I've seen it. Fucking Cap's seen it, right?" Griz glanced at me.

"Don't drag me into this, man. And, I'm not 'Cap' anymore. It's just Valton."

"Bull. You'll always be the Cap." Tes looked grateful that the talk was shifting towards me. "Don't matter where the heck we are, we are still Eagle Squadron." He put his hoof forwards. I put mine over his and Griz threw his on top.

"EAGLES! KAWWW-YEAH!" We bellowed, our rallying cry shaking Willis and Garret awake. Mikey just groaned and rolled over.

"Jesus, you wankers could wake the dead with that bloody cry." Willis stood, his blue and black mane obscuring his eyes. "So, where in bloody hell are we?"

"Ponyville." Twilight answered, looking a bit startled at our war cry. "In my library."  Willis snorted.

"She's right up your alley, Tes. A goddamn bookworm."

"Shut up, Will." I said.

"So, defending loverboy now, eh?" Willis laughed. "Bet you're after a piece of ass too."

"So what if I am?" I shot back.

"The more power to you. Now, what are we to do with bollocks' face?" He motioned towards Mikey.

"I believe I can handle that." Celestia said, standing up smiling at Twilight. "Excellent use of the teleportation spell." Celestia then turned towards the five of us. "I cannot thank you enough for coming to my rescue. My sister and I are forever in your debt."

"If you can replace my gun, we'll be even." Griz said.

"Actually, if you set us up with houses and a hangar, we'll be cool." I replied. Celestia nodded, to my suprise. I'd have assumed that she would have to be told what a hangar was. She then turned her attention to Mikey.

"I will see to your friend, now." Her horn began to glow with energy. I waited to see how it looked when Mikey was transformed. Slowly, a sliver of yellow light began to float towards him, slowly wrapping around his boots until his entire body was covered in the glowing substance. It seemed to tighten around him, then suddenly dissipated. sitting there was a now dark blue-ish... pony. Groggily, he awoke.

"Fuck... knew I shouldn't have eaten that apple. Knew it was rotten... or fermented." He looked down at the hoof he used to wipe his brow. "The fuck?"

"Welcome back to the living." Griz mumbled. Mikey stood.

"Shit.. so I'm a pony now?"

"No." Willis said. "You're an ugly-ass pony."  I turned to Twilight to try to ignore the argument starting.

"You said that the Changeling were here before?"

"Yes!" She exclaimed, rushing to her bookshelf and tearing it apart to try to find whatever book she wanted to show us. Celestia walked over and placed a hoof on her shoulder. Twilight stopped her frenzy.

"What I am about to show them will not be in any book, Twilight." Celestia turned towards me and Tes, who was watching the growing fight between Mikey and Willis intently. "Valton, if you and your companions will follow me."

"Sure." I turned and raised my voice. "Hey, fuckheads! Move it!"

A couple minutes later we were walking along a dirt road.

"Where are we going Princess?" Twilight asked.

"The Everfree forest." Celestia answered.

"B-but it's going to be dark soon!" Luna grinned.

"Not for awhile, Twilight."

"Twi, you got a Fear of the Dark?" Tes asked, teasingly. Suddenly, a burst of music came from the forgotten pack on my back. I laughed.

"Up the Irons from Ponyville!" Me and Willis began belting out the lyrics, joined by Griz and Mikey. We continued singing (albeit horribly) to the song until Celestia stopped walking. I looked around and realized we were inside the forest.

"We have arrived." Celestia sighed. "I haven't had to do this for a long time, nearly 1500 years." Her horn glowed with power and slowly, a trapdoor covered in grass and moss rose out of the ground. A blast of stale air hit me, but I smelled something very familiar in it. I slowly entered the hole and walked down the spiraling steps into the darkness. A small chain bumped me in the nose.

"Found the lights." I gripped the cold metal with my teeth and a row of bulbs blazed into life.

"Holy shit." I stared at the cork-board that appeared in front of me. A big banner hung over that, welcoming me into Equestria. I noticed photos hanging on the board, and a large book sitting below that. I walked over and flipped the book open. There was a neat, handwritten note inside:

"So, you either managed to be shot down or you just crashed. Welcome to Equestria, the closest place to heaven and hell you will ever find. Please write your name, rank, call-sign, the date you were shot down, and the squadron you fly for." There was an illegible signature underneath. I flipped to the next page and stared at the first name I saw. The bold words seemed to sear into my brain.

"Squadron Leader Geoffrey Telford, call-sign Firebird, June 1944, The Eager Eagles.' I said slowly to myself. "Goddamn."