Spike Hits Puberty

by Takarashi282

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Sex, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy
Length: 2984

Spike... has been having troubles with his body. You know which ones.

Everypony loves puberty. Spike himself thought the day would never come. But, boy, did he wish it didn't happen. In front of her, even.

Rated Teen:
Sexual Reference

Published 2014-08-13 04:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-08-13 04:10:02 UTC

Then, Puberty Happened

Spike was at the top of his game. In fact, he was so much at the top of his game that he felt like he could do anything. He stuck out his chest in pride when he put an iron defense with his dignity. He could smell victory in the air, in anything that he did, even walking down the stairs into the library.

"Darling," said a slightly accented voice, "are you absolutely sure that's the design that you want?"

Spike sighed. There was his beauty, his destiny. No matter how many times she'd turn up dating another pony, and crushing their souls when Rarity said they were not her type, Spike still had a major, major crush on her. And I'm going to impress her this time! Spike thought. He was absolutely sure this was going to work. There was no way in Celestia's name that he could screw it up in any way.

"Yeah, yeah," Twilight said, rushing. "It's beautiful, Rarity."

"All right then," Rarity said. "I will have it done posthaste."

"Sounds good."

By the time Spike had leaped down the stairs, Rarity was passing by the stairway. Her coat a glossy white, her mane falling beautifully on her back, her figure so attractive. Spike nearly lost himself in a daydream until he realized what he was there for.

But first, the greeting.

"Good morning, Rarity!"

Spike's heart jumped into a higher acceleration. Wha... what was that? he thought, panicked.

And Rarity just stared at him. Eyes wide, stopped right in her tracks.

"S-say that again, darling?" she asked, her voice broken up.

Spike didn't know if he wanted to. No, he couldn't. Something happened to his voice. Whether he lost it or it suddenly became hoarse to Rarity's look, he wasn't sure. But the last thing he wanted was to say anything. Especially to his crush!

"Spike, are you all right, darling?"

Spike couldn't keep silent. Talking was half of his plan! He couldn't mime a knit sock! He couldn't!

Spike cleared his throat in uncertainty. "I said, good morning, Rarity."

Yup, Spike thought in horror, there's something wrong with my voice.

Rarity's lips quivered. Then she started bursting out air like a broken gas pipe connected to a broken pump. Then she started laughing her flank off. Then Spike heard Twilight join in as well.

"I... I'm pretty sure Spike was there before!" Twilight said through giggling fits.

Spike's face burned like hellfire. His voice. It dropped. An octave or two. He knew he shouldn't have talked! He could've spared himself the embarrassment! And now Rarity, his one and only one-sided love was about to be rolling on the floor.

Then Rarity's and Twilight laughter slowed, with the occasional commemorative giggle. Then she patted Spike on the head, breathing heavily. "Oh, Spikey-Wikey," she said, obviously amused, "don't look so embarrassed, dear. It happens to the best of us."

Spike squeezed his eyes shut so tight that he could see false light. He couldn't just stop being embarrassed. It was a no-go; mission: impossible!

"Oh, Twilight," Rarity voice called. "You did give him... the talk, did you?"

Twilight hesitated. "Uh... hehe... no...? I mean, I thought dragons only grew to match their greed, and I am pretty sure that a stash hasn't been hoarded in the bedroom. But I hadn't anticipated him hitting puberty this soon."

Spike was suddenly interested in this so-called 'talk'. But the edge in their voices said that it was something they both dreaded. Spike felt guilty having hit puberty when he heard that.

"Well, I think it's time—past time—that you talked to him about that. I told Sweetie Belle about it a couple months ago... and she still hasn't had her first period yet."

Spike tilted his head in interested confusion. Period? he thought. Like, the thing you find at a sentence? Is it a sort of writing talent?

Twilight sighed. "I guess you're right." She raised her voice a little. "Spike, I'll meet you upstairs in the sleeping chambers. There's something I have to... talk to you about."

Spike nodded slowly. Whatever this 'talk' was, it was now confirmed that Twilight was reluctant to talk about it. He felt even more guilty now. Stupid voice, he thought, why did you have to drop?

"Okay," Spike said, managing to crack an eye open to walk up the stairs, the annoying stomp of his feet on the crystal-wood stairs following him up.

The sleeping quarters were big. There were two of them for some reason, but the first was big enough to fit all the students of the magic kindergarten in there and still have room for a teacher to give a lecture. The crystal walls seemed to absorb the early morning light, refracting it inside the walls to produce a deep red on the twilight-ish purple.

Spike laid in his bed, and shoved his head into the pillow so hard that he might as well have been transported to a different dimension. He didn't want to exist right now, he was so embarrassed. Even though it had simmered off when he trudged his way up here. But there he was, about to suffocate himself in the bird down pillow.

He turned his head to the side to catch a breath. He once again wondered what this 'talk' was, and why Twilight seemed so uncomfortable even bringing up the subject. I mean, Spike thought, she is very talkative to me. Why would she be so uncomfortable around this subject? His heart sank. Could it be because she's embarrassed... of me? Spike shook his head from the thought. Twilight loved him as a brother. She was rarely embarrassed by him. She actually took pride in him more often than not.

So, why is she so uncomfortable?

Twilight appeared in the doorway so suddenly it was like that one horror movie he'd watched a few days back. He jumped and grabbed his pillow defensively.

Twilight bowed her head. "Sorry I scared you, Spike. But there's something you need to know. Something about your... anatomy."

"My anato-what?"

Spike could feel her roll her eyes, even though her head hung low enough he couldn't see them. "You know, your body, Spike."

Spike raised an eyebrow, curious once again, and excited, and nervous. "Would it explain why my voice went lower all of a sudden?"

Twilight nodded and sighed. She raised her head to look at him for a second, then glanced down to the floor... blushing? "Yes... yes, it will explain that." She walked over to her bedside and sat at the foot, which was about a yard away. "Come here," she invited.

Spike raised his eyebrow. The only time Twilight had invited him to sit beside her was when she was about to talk about something that made her emotionally insecure. But this time, it was way different. She was blushing, and her hooves were shoved between her hind legs, almost protectively. Spike tentatively made his way beside Twilight and plumped down next to her.

Twilight sighed once again. "Okay..." she leaned forward and pressed her hooves more toward her body. "Where to begin... so... you know that you have... that thing between your legs right...?"

Twilight started to explain his and the opposite sex's organs in deep detail, like, more than Spike really desired. She continued on to the movements and kinds and other explicit details of sex, which in a way was fascinating to him. She then explained that Spike's system wasn't ready for that process quite yet. And then threatened to snip his pair off if he tried it. Throughout that explanation, though, she looked over his head for some reason.

Until Twilight said, "Dear Celestia, child, cover your middle. I know that you're aroused and everything. Honestly, so am I, but at least I have the decency of covering my own!"

Spike's claws snapped to his crotch, never again to be moved until the end of the conversation.

After a few more minutes of talking and silence, Twilight sighed. "That's all you need to know. I'm going to take a cold bath now." She got up and moved toward the doorway to the room. "And also, Spike," she called over her to him, "don't do anything stupid with what I've told you. Let's just say, it's really frowned-upon." She left the room straight after.

Spike just sat there. That was a lot of information to digest, nonetheless, to believe. But he was going to have fun with this little thing called puberty here.

He laughed at his own sarcasm.

With what happened the next day, Spike seriously wondered how teenagers could survive puberty.

The marketplace was buzzing with activity as per usual. In fact, it seemed like there were more ponies there than ever before. Twilight and Spike usually went out Thursdays, where there were barely any ponies around. But weather for the past two days had closed down the marketplace. It was Saturday now, and, especially after a storm, it made perfect sense why the market was so crowded this time.

But his way around the market with Twilight running errands, he found something... rather unpleasant. It was only a second's glance, but for it to set up that quickly, he hadn't a clue.

He found a cover of a porn magazine.

He looked up immediately before he was directly interested. His face burned as he scampered more to Twilight's side. At first he noticed nothing; just the sudden embarrassment. Everything seemed just fine. He wiped his brow in relief.

Then he stubbed his toe on a curb.

Spike grabbed his foot, and jumped up and down in pain, refusing to yelp. If he did, then everypony would know of his changing body, and he COULD NOT let them know that.

When he examined his foot, his eyes widened bigger than two stacked oranges.

It was out again.

Fortunately, Twilight wasn't looking at the time, so he could spare himself the big embarrassment. Rather, she was at the celery stand, with three ponies in front of her and quite a lot behind them.

Cover your middle! she snapped at him the previous night.

The only problem was he didn't know how. It was practically unconquerable without letting it out in the air and taking a couple deep breaths. But he couldn't afford to do that here! He needed some way to hide it, any way to hide it!

It was then he realized that there was no way he could cover it up. Sorry, kids! he thought as he took in deep breaths.

Then THE. WORST. POSSIBLE. THING. HAPPENED.

"Mommy, what's that between that dragon's legs?" a young girl asked.

Twilight jolted, like she'd been shot by a lighting bolt. Spike jolted as well. The mother yelped.

"Sweetie, look at those teddy bears over there..."

Twilight shot him a look that clearly said, COVER. IT. UP!

Spike shrugged, his look saying, I don't even know how!

Claws! Twilight mouthed. Claws!

Spike sighed in both embarrassment and hope-lost-full-ness. Not even a word, he told himself. He covered his middle once more.

"Here's your change," said the store manager.

"Thank you very much," Twilight thanked in an almost peeved matter. Then she glared at him.

"Spike," she said in the sort of foreboding kindness, "what did you see?"

Spike gulped. He was in for it this time. "I... I, uh... caught a glance of an... uh... indecent magazine?"

Twilight facehoofed. "Spike, you know that you're not supposed to be looking at that stuff! I told you that!"

"It isn't like I looked on purpose!" Spike retorted. "Besides, it's not my fault that the marketplaces have that kind of stuff!"

Twilight rolled her eyes. "Just... whatever. Now that you know where it is, don't look over there again!"

"Got it," Spike said, in dire need to get this little moment off his mind.

So, as a sort of last resort, he hung out with the Crusaders.

Okay, he thought, the voice of his thoughts switching between his old and new voice. Nothing too sexy, all right? No flank-gazing, Spike. No flank-gazing.

He reached the treehouse just when the Crusaders were climbing the steps to it. Spike could notice wear was taking place there. The pinkish-white paint on the walls was scratched and started to peel, the yellow rail around the platform was broken in one place, and the brown roof's structure seemed to sag a little on one side. Other than that, it was the same old treehouse, just a little older.

"Oh," Applebloom said, her soft, red mane and pink ribbon bouncing as she turned to face him, "howdy there, Spike!" Spike could see that her pale orange coat was ruffed up a little, Probably from working in the orchard, Spike figured.

He sighed. "Hey there."

The whole entire group stared at him.

"Woah," Sweetie Belle remarked, with actual hearts in her eyes. "Nice voice you've got there... ugh! It's so dreamy!" She fell back in a fainting motion.

"Cool!" Scootaloo exclaimed. "When did your balls drop?"

Spike raised an eyebrow. "My balls...?" He asked, confused.

Applebloom narrowed her eyes at Scootaloo, "That's what ya get for bein' indecent!"

"A-ha-oh," Scootaloo nervously laughed, flipping her deep pink mane and drifting her blue eyes to the platform. She crossed her tan hooves. "It's just a figure of speech." She cleared her throat. "Take two. When did your voice get all masculine and stuff?"

"Just yesterday," Spike sighed. "In front of Rarity as well."

Sweetie Belle sighed and glued her green eyes to the earth.

"Aw," Applebloom and Scootaloo said in unison.

"That must've been harsh," Applebloom remarked.

"And I missed out on such a funny moment!" Scootaloo sighed.

Spike and Applebloom gave Scootaloo the death glare.

"Ah, and, you, uh, you have my sympathy."

Spike gave her a seriously? look, and said, "Anyways, what're you guys doing for today?"

Sweetie Belle stomped her front hooves on the ground, her light purple curls bouncing. "WE. HAVE. IT. FIGURED. OUT!"

Spike raised his eyebrows. "Really?"

"Yes!" she squealed. "All we need to do though is to get my sister's microphone."

"Rarity has a microphone?"

"Yeah. A family reunion a while back brought up a need for a microphone, so we got a microphone. Except she never lets me touch it. Spike, are you ready to go into stealth mode?"

"Wait, are you sure this is a good idea?"

"Thinking is for later, Spike! We need to get that microphone post haste before she comes back."

"Well, Ieeee—" Spike covered his mouth so fast that the sound that came was a resounding slap.

Did I just squeak? he thought.

The three girls simultaneously exploded with laughter. Sweetie Belle was bringing out the snorts, it was such a kick for her. But Spike's face probably would've melted under the heat of his cheeks. "You know what, nevermind..." Spike turned and walked away while the Crusaders laughed their little flanks off.

"Darn it all," Spike grunted. "Darn this stupid puberty thing. Why did nature have to do this to me? Now I look like an idiot."

The walk home took longer than he would've wanted. Everypony commented about him as he walked by, giggling at his natural mishaps. He just wanted to hide himself from the world, he was so embarrassed.

Finally, he was home. He sulked up the flights of stairs, and once he got to the sleeping quarters, he faceplanted in his bed, hitting his pillow lazily.

That was when Twilight came through the door. "Spike...?"

"Don't worry about me," Spike insisted, pushing a claw into the air. "Just shut the door and leave me be."

"What's the matter Spike?" Twilight asked. "Applebloom came to me saying you stormed off before you guys could even hang out."

"Agh!" Spike grunted. "It's this whole entire puberty thing. Everypony seems to be laughing at me bercus overuffet." Spike buried his head into his pillow.

"Spike, I can't hear you."

"Everypony keeps on making fun of me because I'm just randomly aroused, my voice cracks like a retard's, and everything is just argh!" He slammed his head into his pillow once again.

Twilight walked to Spike's bedside. She leaned down. "Look, Spike, puberty is one of the toughest things you'll go through. Even I, and I am clearly not a guy, felt that way, too."

Spike sniffled. "Really?"

Twilight nodded. "Of course, Spike! We all are embarrassed of ourselves sometimes, even when it's not exactly our fault! So, don't let that affect you. It'll get better, I promise."

Spike nodded. "Okay. Do I have to write a letter to Princess Celestia about this?"

Twilight chuckled. "I'll leave that decision up to you."

Spike sighed. "Ain't that a relief..."

They shared a chuckle or two, a moment that was desperately needed for Spike, and likely Twilight.

Spike rolled through the shadows. He dodged mannequin after mannequin, fabric roll after fabric roll, and jumped across the shelves gracefully. When he jumped off the shelf at destination, he slowly turned the closet door. At the topmost shelf shone metal grate, with a black styrofoam-ish substance inside.

The microphone! Spike realized. He climbed up the shelves, the sheeting creaking under his weight. He grabbed the microphone and looked below him. The closet door was still ajar, fortunately, and the floor was only a few feet below him. Spike braced himself as he jumped from the height, pulling off a barrel roll over his shoulder, managing not to hurt his spines this time. He dizzily jumped back up and chuckled in victory when the lights came on.

Rarity stood at the doorway, glaring at Spike and the microphone interchangeably.

"Aeeeh, ponyfeathers..." Spike cursed.

~End~

Author's Note

This was really fun to write, to be honest. It's really the first light-hearted project I've ever done.

So yeah. Thanks for reading! :D