Vinyl and Octavia Duel Destiny
The atmosphere in the house was tense. So tense, in fact, that you could cut it with a knife. Well, actually, you couldn’t, much to my disappointment – I had tried doing so and failed. So much for that metaphor. It’s a pity; I always wondered what sort of fluid would bleed if you could cut the atmosphere. Finally, the tension was broken, as my partner and lover Octavia opened her mouth and spoke.
“You’re doing that thing again, aren’t you, Vinyl?” Octavia asked.
I laughed. Of course I was doing it – and she knew perfectly well that I was. But why play along when it’s so much more fun to defy expectations?
“Doing what?” Vinyl Scratch asked innocently. She was sitting on her bed nonchalantly, as Octavia stood there patiently waiting. Unusually for ponies, Octavia was wearing clothes – a dark suit with a coat thrown over the top. Although she looked somewhat tired and a little messy, as though she had been losing sleep, she still mostly looked smartly dressed.
“You’re narrating things in your head because you’re bored,” Octavia said. “Or rather, because you want to avoid doing things today.”
The dame had hit the nail on the head, but I wasn’t going to let her see how she had managed to affect me. Instead, I tried my hoof at some misdirection.
“Avoid doing things? Like what?” Vinyl asked.
I don’t think I’m very good at misdirection.
“Like, I don’t know, getting ready for court today?” Octavia suggested. She sighed, and lay down on the floor. “Vinyl… I know you’re scared,” she said, facing the ground. “I know you’re trying to avoid this, because avoiding your problems normally works for you. But please, just… put on a tie, or… or comb your hair, or something! Little things like this make all of the difference!”
“Nah, I think that I’ll be fine,” said Vinyl. “I’m innocent, so I’m sure to get off.”
“You and I might know that you’re innocent and were framed, but we’ve got to convince the judge and jury of that,” said Octavia, still sounding down. “And I doubt that that will be very easy.”
“Oh? What makes you think that?” Vinyl asked.
“Look at the facts, Vinyl. The leader of the local Marefia branch, Giovanni, committed murder and then framed you for it when you and I found evidence of it. Since then, nopony has wanted to be your lawyer, no doubt because they’re scared of what the Marefia might do, and so I’ve had to study law day and night the past few weeks so that I can be your lawyer and give you a chance in court.” Octavia shook her head. “And on top of all of that, it looks like Giovanni is going to be behind the prosecutor. How can you be so confident?”
“Hey, they can’t think that I’m that guilty, or I would have been thrown in jail rather than being placed under house arrest,” pointed out Vinyl. “And anyway, if we’re doing terribly I’m sure that somepony will burst in with a random bit of evidence that you’ll inevitably use to solve the case and prove my innocence. That’s how these things usually work, in my experience.” She jumped off her bed and lay next to Octavia. “Chin up, Octavia. You’ve gotta have some confidence in yourself, or how will you believe what you’re saying?”
“I suppose that’s one way to look at it,” said Octavia, looking up from the floor and to Vinyl. She gave her a small kiss and smiled. “And if we can survive pirates, a vicious jungle, ninjas, and tabletop roleplaying, among other things, then I’m sure that we can survive a day in court.”
“See? A little confidence goes a long way,” said Vinyl, standing up and using her telekinesis to levitate a tie over. “Now, give me a few minutes to get ready and then we’d better head off.”
“Of course,” said Octavia, leaving the room and closing the door to give her marefriend some privacy. Although she still felt nervous about how the day would go, Vinyl’s words inspired her to feel a little better about the day. I have all of the evidence and all of my arguments here, she thought, glancing at the saddlebag she had. If I just follow what I’ve got there, I’m sure that everything will be fine…
===============================
“Hey look, Octavia!” said Vinyl, around half an hour later. “A ladder!”
“That’s a step-ladder, Vinyl,” corrected Octavia.
“So? What’s the difference?” Vinyl asked, shrugging. “You need to stop judging things based on narrow-minded cultural assumptions, Octavia!”
“R-right…sorry,” said Octavia. There was a moment of silence. “Not narrating whilst we wait to go inside the courtroom then?” she asked.
“Nah, it doesn’t feel… You’ll probably think that it’s silly,” mumbled Vinyl.
“Of course I will. You’re the silliest mare I know,” said Octavia, nuzzling Vinyl as she said so. “But say it anyway.”
“Right. Well, I was going to say that it doesn’t feel thematically appropriate to narrate whilst we’re in the courtroom,” explained Vinyl. “So I thought that I’d try pointing out random items to kill my boredom instead.”
“Any luck?” asked Octavia.
Before Vinyl could respond, a guard approached the duo. “Are you Vinyl Scratch, here for the trial in courtroom five?” he asked. The white unicorn mare nodded an affirmative. “Please follow me. Who’s your friend?”
“She’s my lawyer,” said Vinyl happily, “and she’s gonna get me off the hook.”
“Right,” said the guard sarcastically. To Octavia, he said “The trial is beginning now. Please enter the courtroom through those doors and take your place at the appropriate bench.”
Octavia followed his instructions, and headed through the doors which he had indicated. They lead into a large courtroom, with a judge’s bench at one end. Before the judge’s bench were two smaller benches at opposite ends of the room, facing one another, and between them was a small witness stand where Vinyl was standing with the guard (she waved at Octavia as she spotted her). The rest of the courtroom was mostly filled up with benches for public viewing. Octavia hesitated, then stood behind the bench on the left, and got out some of her opening statements.
Over the next fifteen minutes, ponies slowly came in and filled the benches, curious to see the outcome of the case. Octavia hardly paid any attention to them, though; she was just waiting for the judge and the prosecution to arrive.
“Isn’t this fun, Octavia?” Vinyl whispered loudly to Octavia from the witness stand. “Just like a real courtroom!”
“Not sure whether ‘fun’ is the word I’d use to describe this situation, Vinyl, but I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself,” Octavia replied, smiling in spite of the situation.
“Enjoy your enjoyment while it lasts, because you won’t be enjoying it for long,” said a new voice in response to Octavia. She turned to where the voice came from, and sure enough, it was the prosecutor at his bench. “I’m here to make sure that your friend Vinyl gets put away for life, and that justice is served,” he said. “The name’s Prosecutor Milise Deauxnim, the Demon Prosecutor.”
“…What a silly name,” muttered Octavia to herself. “I wouldn’t be surprised at all if it were an alias.” To Prosecutor Deauxnim, she said, “Demon Prosecutor, eh? I read about you whilst looking up facts about the law. You’ve a perfect win record, don’t you?”
He grinned. His coat was a dull red, and he had a black mane which fell sharply around his eyes. He was a unicorn. “That’s one way of putting it. You’re not scared, are you?”
“Against someone like you? Please,” said Octavia confidently, “you’re no match for me, the…um…Turnabout Terror?” She winced. “Note to self, Octavia: You’re not actually a lawyer. There’s no need to brag and talk yourself up.”
Before Prosecutor Deauxnim could reply, there was the banging of a gavel as a judge sat down at his bench. He had a light brown mane and a light blue coat. “Attention, everypony!” he said. “Court is now in session, with myself, the honourable Judge Justice presiding.” There was a moment of silence before he winked to the crowd and said, “But my friends call me Vance!”
“…Do you get it, Octavia?” Vinyl whispered across to her lawyer. The grey Earth pony merely shrugged.
“Right, right… now, is there anything that either the prosecution or the defence has to say before we start?” Judge Justice asked.
“Only that I am going to follow the law to its utmost, and that I expect my opponent, Prosecutor Deauxnim, to do the same in our battle of wits,” said Octavia. She confidently stared at the prosecutor in the eye, waiting to see how he would respond.
The prosecutor blinked. “I was going to say that as this is clearly an open-and-shut case, the defence is wasting everyone’s time,” he said.
“Excellent point!” said Judge Justice. He banged his gavel down. “The defence is fined fifty bits for showing up to the defence!”
“…Well, we’re off to a great start,” muttered Octavia.
“And now, let’s begin!” said the judge. To Vinyl, still in the witness box, he began, “So, you must be-”
“Fine! I’m fine!” Vinyl replied cheerfully.
“Ah, Ms. Fine, is it?” he responded. Vinyl faltered, confused.
“Uh-”
“I do recall you having an odd name, now that I think about it,” said the judge.
“Well, we’re off to a great start,” Vinyl muttered.
“That’s what I said!” protested Octavia.
“Accused, please state your name and occupation!” barked Prosecutor Deauxnim suddenly, causing everyone to jump.
“Uh, the name’s Vinyl Scratch, and I’m a DJ-for-hire,” said Vinyl hastily.
“Really? That’s all you are?” asked Deauxnim. “You’re not a…murderer?” There were gasps throughout the crowd.
“Gasps? Really?” Octavia muttered. To the crowd, she called out, “How can you all be so surprised? You should know what this case is! It’s on the bloody blackboard outside the courtroom!”
“Hell no I’m not a murderer!” said Vinyl in response to Prosecutor Deauxnim. “What makes you think that? What evidence is there?”
“We’ll just have a look, won’t we?” he replied. “Judge Justice, permission to call my first witness?”
“Naturally,” replied Judge Justice. Vinyl was allowed to sit with Octavia at the defence’s bench as the witness went to the stand. Octavia’s heart sunk as she saw who it was – Giovanni, the leader of the Marefia who was the real murderer and who had framed Vinyl for the crime.
“Your name and occupation, please?” asked Prosecutor Deauxnim.
“Giovanni, and I own a small bar in downtown Canterlot,” he replied. He had a coat and mane in similar colours to Octavia’s, only darker. As he spoke, he smiled smugly, although the smile didn’t reach his eye.
“Would you care to state what you saw on the night of Thursday the 17th?” asked Prosecutor Deauxnim, also smiling.
“Certainly,” agreed Giovanni. “It was around five in the evening, and I was in my office at work, doing the crossword in the newspaper. I was stuck on number five down – Equine with four legs and a tail, five letters. I was in the middle of getting out the dictionary when-”
“Uh… maybe stick to the parts of the night which are relevant to the case,” Deauxnim interrupted.
“Oh, uh, right,” replied Giovanni. “Well, later in the evening, I had a business meeting to get to, and so I left the office and prepared to head down Black Alley, a small alley opposite the bar I own. It provides a nice shortcut to the meeting. I was just at the entrance to the alley when I heard screaming.” He cleared his throat and continued. “I reluctantly headed down the alley… I’ll never forget what I saw there. A pale white unicorn, repeatedly stabbing the victim with a knife.”
Prosecutor Deauxnim nodded. “Did the unicorn see you?”
“Almost immediately.”
“And what happened then?”
“She ran at me with the knife,” said Giovanni, “and I had to flee for my life. I ran and ran for hours, afraid of her catching me, and eventually, I reached a safe house of mine. I hid out there for a few days, afraid of her finding me, and then afterwards, I reported her to the guards.” He shrugged. “And that’s the whole thing. It was pretty obviously the defendant, so I don’t see why we have to drag this out any further.”
Judge Justice nodded. “Excellent point. As the presiding judge over this case, I declare that the defendant, Vinyl Scratch, is-”
“Wait, really?!” Octavia interrupted. “Uh, I- OBJECTION!”
Judge Justice frowned. “There’s no need to shout, Miss Octavia. I can hear you perfectly fine from here!”
“Oh…sorry,” said Octavia. “I was just going to say… how can you just give Giovanni the benefit of the doubt like that? I haven’t even had the chance to defend my client!”
“…Oh, right, you’re still here!” said the judge after a moment of confusion. He abruptly fell silent.
“…And?” asked Octavia, a little nervously.
“Well, yes, I suppose that you should get a chance to defend your client, now that you mention it,” Judge Justice said.
I should hope so! thought Octavia. Now...what to do? She looked at her notes for a moment before asking, “Was everything that Giovanni just said written down?”
“Certainly,” said a nearby clerk. “Would you like a copy?”
Octavia confirmed so, and had a quick read of the statements that Giovanni had just made. “What’s your plan, Octavia?” asked Vinyl.
“I’m going to go over what he said, and question the bits where it’s obviously wrong,” said Octavia, still quickly skim-reading the statement.
“Ah! So you’re going to CROSS-EXAMINE the witness to find CONTRADICTIONS?” Vinyl asked. Octavia frowned.
“Say that again,” she said.
“I said, ‘So you’re going to CROSS-EXAMINE the witness to find CONTRADICTIONS?’” Vinyl repeated.
“Why are you shouting the words CROSS-EXAMINE and – dammit, now you’ve got me doing it,” grumbled Octavia.
“Doing what?” asked Vinyl, confused.
“Never mind,” said Octavia, sighing. “Tell me, Giovanni – if that is indeed your real name –”
“It is,” confirmed Giovanni.
“…Right. I wasn’t actually expecting you to hear that,” Octavia commented, mostly to herself. “Anyway! Tell me, what time did you leave your office?”
“What’s your plan, Octavia?” asked Vinyl quietly.
“I’ve got a copy of the autopsy report with me here,” replied Octavia, just as quietly as she patted a folder on the bench. “I’m guessing that when Giovanni says that he was leaving to go to a ‘business meeting’, he was actually going to murder Switch Blade, the victim. I’ll see whether the time he claims to have left matches up.”
“Well now, if you’ll recall, I mentioned earlier that I was doing the crossword, yes?” asked Giovanni. There was a collective groan from the courtroom. “Now, before leaving my office, I’d nearly finished the second-last clue, which was Canine with four legs and a tail, three letters. I got out my dictionary-”
“Objection!” shouted Octavia, slamming a hoof down onto her bench and pointing another at Giovanni. “Nopony gives a crap about the crossword!” There was a murmuring of agreement throughout the courtroom.
“Prosecutor Deauxnim! Surely you won’t stand for such a silly objection, will you?” asked Giovanni.
“Ehhhhh…” The prosecutor made a noise of non-committal and gave a shrug. “I won’t object to an objection like that.”
“I agree – the crossword is a waste of time,” said Judge Justice. “And besides, how come you needed a dictionary for a clue like that? The answer’s obviously cat!”
“Fine, whatever,” growled Giovanni. “I left my office at around six-thirty, alright?”
Ten minutes before the time of death, confirmed Octavia, looking at the autopsy report. That fits in perfectly. Let’s see how people react if I try and provide Vinyl’s alibi.
“I see,” said Octavia to Giovanni coolly. “Tell me, Giovanni, are you aware that Vinyl and I are in a relationship, and live together in the same house?”
“I mighta heard that somewhere,” said Giovanni casually, examining a hoof.
“So then what would you say if I told you that Vinyl Scratch has an alibi for the night of the murder, and that I can confirm that she wasn’t in the alley at that time?” Octavia stood up straighter, and pointed a hoof at Giovanni. “What if I told you… she was playing Scrabble with me that night?!”
Giovanni gasped. “Scrabble? Nopony plays that game anymore! It’s dumb!”
“Well guess what… we like it,” growled Vinyl.
“So, what do you say to that?” Octavia asked smugly. “Vinyl can’t be the murderer, since she was at home with me!”
In response, there was laughter, but it wasn’t from Giovanni. It was coming from Prosecutor Deauxnim, who was laughing on his bench. “You call that a defence?” he asked, chuckling. “Aside from the fact that you cannot provide an alibi for your client, let’s see what other holes we can find in that story.”
The prosecutor straightened up and put both hooves on the bench in front of him. “What evidence do you have to prove that Vinyl was at your house the whole time? Do you have any witnesses other than yourself who can back you up on this? And why would you play Scrabble over a much better game, like Up Words?” At this last one, Deauxnim pointed a hoof at Octavia dramatically.
Octavia gasped, and reacted as though she’d been slapped. It stung. Not physically, of course, they were just words. But it stung to hear her alibi for Vinyl – which was the truth, to boot – dismissed so casually. But she wasn’t going to be beaten so easily.
“Maybe I can’t prove my claim, but let’s see you disprove it,” she said. “Why would Vinyl be down Black Alley, a considerable distance from our house? What proof do you have that she was there? And in addition, why would she murder the victim, a low-level gang member?”
“Two of those questions can be easily answered, and the third shouldn’t be hard to find,” replied Prosecutor Deauxnim almost immediately. “Why was Vinyl in Black Alley? Because she wanted to murder the victim, Switch Blade. Why did she want to murder him? That’s still an unknown, but I’m confident that we’ll find out before this case is over.”
Octavia frowned, and went over what Prosecutor Deauxnim had said in her head. “Wait, you can prove that Vinyl was there at the scene of the crime?” she asked. “How?”
“I have here a report stating that some hair from Vinyl’s mane was found in the alley, as was a magical signature matching hers,” said Prosecutor Deauxnim, levitating a folder across the courtroom to Octavia’s bench. “I think that it’s pretty safe to say that she was in the alley within forty-eight hours of the murder.”
Octavia groaned, and hit the bench with her head. Vinyl was in the alley – two days later, when she and I were investigating the murder. But they have no way of knowing that, and even if I tell them the truth they’ll probably think I’m making it up to cover for Vinyl.
“Report added to the court record, Octavia!” chirped Vinyl happily.
“So, anything to say to that, Octavia?” asked Prosecutor Deauxnim. “Your marefriend was seen at the scene of the crime, murdering the victim, and we have proof that she was there. Ready to admit that you’re not ready for the lawyer game yet?”
Although it had rattled Octavia, she kept a brave face on. “You wish, Prosecutor Deauxnim! Until I get Vinyl off the hook, I’m a lawyer! And a lawyer is somepony who smiles no matter how bad it gets!”
“That may be so, but smiling won’t clear Vinyl Scratch’s name,” said Prosecutor Deauxnim. “And your alibi for her has already been declared inadmissible.”
“Wrong!” said Octavia. “You claimed that it was inadmissible, and that you could disprove my claim – but your disproval rests on something which you haven’t proven.”
“You mean…?” Vinyl asked, next to Octavia. Octavia nodded.
“He said that my claims that you were at home could be disproved by the fact that you went there to murder Switch Blade. But he never actually found a motive, and we both know why your hair and magical aura was found in the alley,” Octavia explained.
“So therefore, he can’t disprove your claim, despite how biased it looks!” Vinyl said.
“Exactly!” Octavia turned to Prosecutor Deauxnim and pointed a hoof at him. “Prosecutor Deauxnim! You claim that Vinyl went to the alley to murder Switch Blade, but you’ve forgotten something – a motive! And without that motive, there’s no reason for Vinyl to have gone to that alley, therefore proving that she was at home with me!”
“Objection!” countered the prosecutor. “You still haven’t explained how her hair and magical aura showed up at the scene of the crime.”
Octavia bit her lip. No doubt they’re all going to think that I made it up… but I’ve got to try! “Objection!” she replied. “That’s there because Vinyl and I investigated the murder scene two nights after it occurred, looking for clues!”
“Oh, likely story,” snorted Prosecutor Deauxnim. “Why were you doing that if Vinyl is innocent?”
Well, better pray to Celestia and hope for the best, thought Octavia. “Because Giovanni got his wife to hire Vinyl and I to do so,” Octavia said, feeling her heart rate accelerate as she spoke. “She claimed that he was innocent and that we had to find him, but it turned out to be luring us into a trap to kill Vinyl and I. And when that failed… they framed Vinyl for the murder. The murder which was actually done by Giovanni!”
There were gasps throughout the courtroom as Octavia finished. She merely closed her eyes and let it all turn to white noise. Now, how do I back this up?
“Mr. Giovanni, is this true?” asked Judge Justice. “Murder is a serious charge, you know!”
“Of course it’s not true,” growled Giovanni. “Obviously, Vinyl murdered someone, and now she’s convinced Octavia to try and frame me since I’m an obvious suspect, thus getting her off the hook.”
“Hmm… maybe so,” commented Judge Justice. “But that would certainly explain some questions I had, like why you took two days to report the murder. If you were framing Vinyl for it, that would certainly explain why you waited until after the failed murder attempt to report the murder to the police.”
“Wait –you’re not actually saying that you believe Octavia, are you?!” Giovanni asked, shocked.
“A better question, Giovanni – what did you mean when you said that you were an ‘obvious suspect’ just a moment ago?” growled Octavia. “Got something to hide?”
“Objection! Mr. Giovanni is not on trial here,” interrupted Prosecutor Deauxnim. “Vinyl Scratch is, and until she’s proven either innocent or guilty, she is the only one we’re going to be concerned with.”
“Objection yourself, buster!” said Octavia. “My job is to defend Vinyl – and if I have to prove that somepony else is the murderer in order to do that, I can!” She looked to the judge nervously. “Can I?”
“I’m interested to see what Mr. Giovanni says to all this, so I will allow the further questioning of him – to a point,” said Judge Justice.
“Good job, Octavia!” said Vinyl approvingly. “Now you’ve just got to ask the right questions and I’m sure you’ll prove that Giovanni is the murderer!”
“Well-put, Vinyl,” said Octavia. “Now, what should I ask him…?”
“Ask him about being an obvious suspect? Ask him about the scene of the crime? Ask him about crosswords?” said Vinyl.
“…What,” said Octavia, giving Vinyl a cautionary sideways glance before taking a step or two away from her. Shaking her head, she looked to Giovanni and asked him, “Now, what did you mean when you said you were an obvious suspect?”
“Because my personal knife was found to be the murder weapon, of course,” said Giovanni.
“W-what?!” asked Octavia. “This wasn’t mentioned before!”
“The information on the murder weapon was provided in the autopsy report,” commented Prosecutor Deauxnim. “It stated the type of weapon, and even provides a photo of it.”
“I see…” murmured Octavia, looking at the autopsy report.
“Autopsy report updated in the court record, Octavia!” said Vinyl Scratch helpfully.
Octavia ignored Vinyl, focusing instead on what she had just learned. Vinyl and I know that Giovanni is the murderer, and we now have decisive evidence that he did it with his own weapon! I already suspect that he left his office that night to go and kill Switch Blade, so if I can somehow prove that he took his knife with him when he left, that should be the bit of evidence I need to turnabout this case!
“So, what’s your excuse for your own, personal knife being the murder weapon then?” asked Octavia. “Wait, let me guess – Vinyl stole it from your office to frame you?”
“How astute,” said Giovanni in a deadpan tone. “I was just about to say that.”
“Nice try, Giovanni!” said Octavia. “But that’s impossible, since we’ve already established that you were in your office from at least five, doing the crossword, giving Vinyl no opportunity to steal the knife!”
“Objection!” shouted out Prosecutor Deauxnim from across the courtroom, slamming a hoof down onto the table. “I was hoping to come up with a rebuttal by slamming on my desk, Your Honour…I didn’t.”
“What am I paying you for?” growled Giovanni to Prosecutor Deauxnim. “You’re going to have to think of better rebuttals than that.”
So Giovanni is behind Deauxnim, eh? noted Octavia. That’s certainly noteworthy.
“Mr. Giovanni? Can you explain how your knife ended up being used as a murder weapon when nopony but you could have had access to it?” asked Judge Justice. “Make sure to answer carefully – I’m not the sort of judge to instantly believe a story the instant it’s changed.”
“It- I-the knife was… it wasn’t in my office!” shouted Giovanni, notably sweating the whole while.
“Care to expand on this?” asked the judge.
“You’re all saying that I must have taken the knife with me when I left my office-”
“Never said that out loud,” muttered Octavia.
“- when I never said that it was in my office! It was all Octavia’s fault! She’s lying and misleading you all – don’t you see?” Giovanni shouted, pointing a hoof at Octavia.
“You still haven’t addressed where the knife was before the murder,” pointed out Octavia. “I think that the only pony here trying to mislead the court is you, Giovanni.”
“It- it was missing!” shouted Giovanni erratically. “The knife had gone missing earlier in the day, and I bet it was Vinyl Scratch who took it! She’s the murderer! Look to her, not me!”
“Attorney Octavia? Does your client have any response to this claim?” asked Judge Justice.
“Well, yeah,” said Vinyl Scratch. “I didn’t take the knife, nor did I use it, and I can prove it.”
“You can?” asked Octavia, surprised.
“Yep,” confirmed Vinyl. “All the forensic team needs to do is analyse whether or not my magical aura has interacted with it, and then they can prove that not only did I not steal it, but I also didn’t wield it, and therefore couldn’t have killed Switch Blade.”
“Vinyl, that’s brilliant!” commented Octavia. “Judge Justice? Can that be done?”
“The appropriate forensic team has already analysed every inch of the knife,” announced Prosecutor Deauxnim, reading from a piece of paper. “Whilst they haven’t found any magical auras that have touched it other than their own, they noted that a pony could have carried it in their mouth without any evidence of their identity.”
“Therefore not ruling Vinyl out of suspicion!” Giovanni hastily pointed out. There was silence for a moment before Octavia replied.
“It also doesn’t rule you out of suspicion,” she countered. There was a gasp all around the courtroom. “So far, I’m seeing no evidence that you’re not the murderer, Giovanni – you just keep dodging questions and blaming Vinyl. Seems as though you’ve got something pretty big to hide.”
“But just because I can’t prove that I wasn’t the murderer, it doesn’t mean that you can prove that I was!” said Giovanni. “Every bit of ‘evidence’ you’ve revealed so far can be equally applied to Vinyl Scratch. You’re just trying to distract everypony from the fact that she’s the suspect here by throwing baseless accusations onto me.”
“Well then, I suppose that I’d better get to presenting the evidence which only shows you in a bad light, hadn’t I?” asked Octavia smugly. Finally, I get to follow my actual plan rather than just countering Deauxnim and Giovanni all day!
“Hit me with your best shot,” sneered Giovanni.
“Firstly, we have this dark hair which was found at the scene of the crime by Vinyl and I when we investigated,” Octavia said, passing a folder to a clerk as she spoke. “It matches your mane, and it easily could have fallen out if you were waiting for Switch Blade to come so that you could murder him.”
“By the same logic, I could argue that it’s your hair, fallen out whilst you investigated the scene,” Giovanni said.
Octavia shook her head. “It’s too dark to be hair from my mane, and more to the point, it’s too short. It must have come from you.”
Giovanni was completely silent.
“My next piece of evidence is the large bloodstain found at the scene of the crime,” continued Octavia, getting out a photo of the scene with the bloodstain in question. “This bloodstain, found along with the chalk outline of Switch Blade, proves that the victim died at the scene of the crime.”
“Really? Wow, how did you work out that, genius?” Giovanni asked. “More importantly, why are we supposed to care? This is common knowledge.”
“Don’t you find it a little suspicious that of the two suspects, yourself and Vinyl, that the murder is confirmed to have been done outside of your bar, quite a distance from where Vinyl and I live?” asked Octavia. “I’d certainly say that that throws more suspicion onto you.”
“Whatever. More evidence of your amateur sleuthing?” Giovanni scoffed.
“Naturally,” said Octavia. Across the courtroom, Prosecutor Deauxnim made a note on a piece of paper. “But regardless, I have the final piece of evidence.” Grabbing another folder, Octavia opened it up and withdrew a transparent bag containing a small, plastic card. “Recognise this, Giovanni? It’s an identification card of yours, and it was found discarded at the scene of the crime.”
For the first time all session, Giovanni looked shocked. “That – that went missing several hours after the murder. How did it get there?”
“That’s easy. You killed Switch Blade, got some blood on the card, and then threw it away in a nearby bin to hide the evidence,” said Octavia confidently. “Which was really silly. I mean, you could have just wiped off the blood.”
“If that really is what Octavia describes it as, then I would argue that tips the scale in favour of her argument,” pointed out Judge Justice.
“What? I – no, how could that have been there?” Giovanni stammered, losing his cool. “How did it get there?”
“Attorney Octavia,” asked Prosecutor Deauxnim, “is this identification card also something found by you and Vinyl whilst investigating the scene of the crime?”
“It is,” confirmed Octavia.
“And you confirm that you two were investigating the scene after being hired by Giovanni’s wife?” he asked.
“Of course we were,” said Octavia. “I’m surprised that she’s not here, come to think of it.”
Deauxnim shook his head. “Then in that case, I must ask that you be disbarred from continuing this trial as Vinyl’s lawyer,” he said. “You are submitting inadmissible evidence, and that is a jailable offence in a trial as high-profile as this one.”
“I – wait, what?!” asked Octavia.
“Hey, you can’t do that!” Vinyl protested.
“I’m afraid that the law is the law, and this evidence is clearly inadmissible,” said Prosecutor Deauxnim. “Even assuming that it isn’t faked evidence, this has been removed from the scene of the crime by somepony not officially involved in the investigation, therefore inducing heavy penalties.”
“…Objection?” whispered Octavia, shaking slightly now.
“Do you have anything to say before you are removed from this trial?” asked Judge Justice.
“…No. I-” Octavia started before Vinyl cut her off.
“Recess! Octavia and I need a quick recess!” Vinyl said loudly enough to drown out Octavia. Judge Justice frowned.
“You’re aware that you’re just about to be disbarred from court, right?” he asked. “Any recess now is more or less pointless.”
“How about you give us the benefit of the doubt, Your Honour, and give us this opportunity?” Vinyl asked hastily.
“Hmm… I don’t know how I feel about recesses…” muttered the judge. “But fine, I’ll give you two the benefit of the doubt.” Judge Justice banged his gavel down once. “Court is adjourned for a quick five-minute recess!”
===============================
“Well, got any ideas?” Vinyl asked Octavia. The two were standing outside the courtroom, and being watched carefully by the nearby guards.
“So far, I’ve managed to dodge most questions or accusations by changing the subject but something like this… I don’t know, Vinyl,” said Octavia. “I’ve technically broken the law with my evidence, so I’ll be disbarred from defending you, leading to Prosecutor Deauxnim helping the judge give you a guilty sentence…the only way I could get out of this would be if I could prove that my evidence is official evidence, which it isn’t.”
Vinyl put a hoof on the glum Earth pony’s shoulder. “Hey, no need to get all depressed over it. A lawyer is somepony who smiles no matter how bad it gets, remember?”
“Well put, Vinyl Scratch,” came a voice a shadowy corner of the room. “Octavia, try not to give up just yet.”
“What the - ? Mr. F!” exclaimed Octavia, recognising the figure speaking their way.
“The mysterious pony who gave us a crucial clue when we were investigating Giovanni!” Vinyl said as the two ponies headed over to the corner.
“You don’t have to remind me, Vinyl,” said Octavia. “I was there, you know.”
“Whatever. What are you doing here?” Vinyl asked Mr. F.
“I’m here to give you a piece of evidence,” said the figure. As with the previous time they had met Mr. F, Octavia noted that his voice was somewhat androgynous. “Present this at the right moment, and everyone will be so distracted that they won’t think about your inadmissible evidence.” A cream-coloured hoof passed Octavia a photograph.
“What is it?” asked Octavia.
“I’m sure you’ve worked out by now that Giovanni is the real murderer,” said Mr. F. “Well, this is a photograph of him leaving his office the night of the murder with his knife.”
“That’s the evidence I need to prove that he’s the murderer!” exclaimed Octavia. “Now I see what you mean by distracting everyone – with the truth! But how did you get this?”
“You could say that I’m closer to Giovanni than he realises,” Mr. F replied mysteriously. He looked to the courtroom doors, which ponies were returning to. “You’d better get back to your trial. Remember, use the evidence at the right time.”
“Right!” Octavia said. “Let’s do this!”
“Are you sure that you can trust him?” Vinyl asked as the two ponies headed back into the courtroom. “What’s his motivation in all of this?”
“Didn’t he say something last time we met about being a private investigator trying to take down Giovanni?” Octavia asked. “That’s a clean enough motivation if I ever heard one.”
“Uh, no, he said that we had no choice but to trust him last time we met, and said nothing about an occupation,” Vinyl said. “So this could all be a setup.”
“Maybe,” Octavia agreed, “but like he said last time – what other choice do we have?”
===============================
“Well then, Miss Octavia, now that the recess is over, do you have anything to say for yourself before I remove you from this trial for providing inadmissible evidence?” asked Judge Justice, several minutes later when everypony was back.
“Yes, providing inadmissible evidence is a serious offence,” commented Prosecutor Deauxnim, “and retrieving evidence from the scene of a crime by yourself is most certainly inadmissible evidence.”
Octavia took a deep breath, ready to reveal what Mr. F had shown her. I can do this! she thought. I just need to show everypony that I have proof that Giovanni is the murderer, and Vinyl and I will be fine! “If it would please Your Honour,” she began, “I managed to acquire a new piece of evidence during the recess. One that –”
“Where did this evidence come from?” Prosecutor Deauxnim interrupted. “I received no information about the police finding any new evidence.”
“Nor did I,” said Judge Justice.
“Well, I received it from – um, that is to say-” Octavia stammered.
“Are you seriously saying that your solution to submitting inadmissible evidence is to submit more inadmissible evidence?” Prosecutor Deauxnim asked incredulously.
“But it proves who the real murderer is!” Octavia protested.
“That may be so, but inadmissible evidence is inadmissible, no matter how important it is,” the judge pointed out. “Unless you have anything to say otherwise…” Octavia was silent. “I hereby ban you from practicing law, Octavia, and remove you from this case.”
“No,” Octavia whispered. “No, you can’t.”
“And now, unless anypony else has some evidence – legal evidence, that is – I believe that it’s time to wrap things up,” said Prosecutor Deauxnim. There was a pause as he waited. And then –
BANG!
The doors of the courtroom flew open loudly and dramatically, revealing…nopony. “I was hoping that if I opened the doors dramatically somepony would conveniently come through,” Vinyl said awkwardly.
“Not today, they’re not,” said Judge Justice. “And now since there doesn’t appear to be anypony else with a decent defence for you, and Prosecutor Deauxnim has already shown enough evidence to convince me…”
The judge banged his gavel. “This court sees no reason to further prolong this trial. Nor is there any need for more time to decide the case against the defendant. This case is extremely clear. I see no room for misinterpretation of the facts. This court finds the defendant, Vinyl Scratch, guilty.”
To everypony’s surprise, confetti started raining from the ceiling then, almost in a mocking celebration of the news.
“A good job, if I do say so myself,” said Prosecutor Deauxnim. “Glad to have upheld the law with your help, Giovanni.”
“Any time, Deauxnim,” said Giovanni, getting up from his seat to shake the prosecutor’s hoof.
In all of this, nopony noticed the two mares holding each other in their arms, trying to hold back their tears.
===============================
“Well, that’s what I call a good day!” said Giovanni as he entered his office. “The frame-up of Vinyl was successful, so it looks like I’ve gotten away with the murder of Switch Blade. And as a bonus, it’ll show everypony that I can frame them and get them imprisoned at a moment’s notice!” He was greeted with silence. “Honey? What do you think about that?”
“I think,” came a soft, quiet voice, “that you should spend less time priding yourself on your silly schemes and pay more attention to what your wife is doing.”
“Winter Snow? What do you mean by – holy crap!” Giovanni turned to the direction of the voice to find his wife there, pointing a crossbow at him. “Why are you pointing that crossbow at me?”
“Because those idiots Vinyl and Octavia screwed up – again!” hissed Winter Snow. “When they failed to bring the law to your door when I put them onto the Switch Blade murder case, I thought it wasn’t so bad. I thought that they would be able to expose you for the murder in court and get you out of the picture. But you somehow managed to snatch that victory from them and wriggle out of the law’s grasp! How? How did you do it?”
“W-what are you saying?” spluttered Giovanni. “Did you want me out of the picture?”
“Of course I did!” snarled Winter Snow. “When I suggested that I tell Vinyl and Octavia about your murder of Switch Blade so that they could get closer to you, it was with the hopes that they’d manage to remove you from the picture! When that failed and you framed Vinyl, I hoped that they’d expose you in court – but they failed there as well! Even when I created a new alias to help them, the ‘mysterious Mr. F’, they still couldn’t live up to my expectations!”
“But what do you want?” asked Giovanni. He was pressed up against his desk, with a hoof behind his back.
“I want you out of the picture so that I can take over your Marefia operation of course!” Winter Snow said. “You know, for a supposed criminal mastermind, you’re pretty dumb when you want to be.”
“Not as dumb as you think I am,” muttered Giovanni as he whipped his hoof around, revealing that he too had a crossbow. “Don’t suppose that I could convince you to reconsider your plan before I shoot you?” he asked, ready to press the trigger. There was a small click.
“Not in the slightest,” said Winter Snow. She walked over to her husband. “Huh, I got him right in the throat. That went better than I expected.” Winter Snow walked over to another side of the room, where there was a liquor cabinet. In silence, she poured herself a glass of wine.
“To Vinyl and Octavia, the two best scapegoats I’ve ever used,” murmured Winter Snow. She drank the wine in one gulp. “Hope you enjoy jail, because I’m certainly not going to get you out of it.”
===============================
“Why so glum, Octavia?” asked Vinyl.
Octavia sighed. “Gee, I don’t know, Vinyl,” she said, downcast. “Maybe it’s something to do with the fact that for the next ten years, this cell is going to be our home, between you getting framed for murder and me unintentionally submitting inadmissible evidence in court.” Her ears drooped. “I didn’t even realise that submitting that evidence would get me sent to jail – I was expecting a fine or something. I guess I couldn’t stop your destiny to end up in jail.”
“Hey, you were an ace attorney,” said Vinyl. “And besides, that’s a silly reason to be down, Octavia!”
“Oh, really?” Octavia asked. “What makes you say that?”
Vinyl Scratch grinned. “Because I have a plan to get us out of here.”
THE END?
Author's Note
Yay setting up for sequels! The next one will (most likely) be called Vinyl and Octavia Bust Out of Prison.
Also, everyone who gets the Justice/Vance reference is not a plebian.
Thanks for reading, as always!
