The Earls and Their Ponies

by Runnermist

Rating: everyone
Tags: Crossover, Alternate Universe, Comedy
Length: 3958

Earl Aloise of Trancy has been trying to kidnap Earl Ciel of Phantomhive for a while because of... Reasons. But when dealing with The Lord of Chaos turns sour, the two young nobles are forced to put aside their dislike and find a way home.

Earl Aloise of Trancy has been trying to kidnap Earl Ciel of Phantomhive for a while because of… Reasons. But when dealing with The Lord of Chaos turns sour, the two young nobles are forced to put aside their dislike and find a way home. But The Lord of Chaos is watching them every step of the way, and she doesn't want them to go home just yet.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-09-26 18:42:33 UTC

The Deal

"Claude." Aloise said to his butler one rainy afternoon. "Our efforts to capture Ciel have been proving ineffective. What could we do to one up Sebastian and get him?" Claude said nothing, thinking about the Deal he and Sebastian had made at the ball in this very house. A demonic blood pact, roses and all. Ciel gets what he considers revenge for the death of his parents, Aloise gets Ciel. But now Claud wasn't so sure about the Deal. Ciel was strong willed, for a human, and considered "an eye for an eye" the gospel of revenge. Since Aloise was also orphaned, the earl Phantomhive wouldn't be able to take his parents. His next option, and target, would most likely be Aloise himself. Sebastian had to have known this, or he wouldn't have looked so smug during the process. "Claude." Aloise repeated, snapping his butler back to reality. "I asked you a question."

"I'm sorry, my lord." Claude said. "I just can't think of anything at the moment." Earl Aloise was most displeased. If Claude couldn't think of anything, who could?

"I can." Came a voice from the corner. Boy and butler turned to the speaker. Claude stepped back, seemingly reeling with surprise at the girl's sudden appearance. "What, aren't you happy to see me, Claud-emon? Satan sends his regards, as always." Claude just stood there, not forgiving the girl for causing that uncharacteristic moment of shock. "Well, Earloise. It seems you want something your butler is simply incapable of providing. Oh, whatever shall you do?" She dramatically rubbed her eyes in mock despair.

"Claude." Aloise said simply. "Remove her from my house." The demon butler nodded, stepping forward and narrowing his eyes.

"Gladly."

"Claude," The girl sighed. "How tiresome you are. Simply no sense of humor, whatsoever! Aren't I right, Earloise?" She held up her hand, and Claude froze. Aloise stared.

"How did you--" he was cut off by her laughter. Somehow, he couldn't start talking again. How could this girl, who couldn't be more than 16, do that?

"It's quite simple, really. It's just that I'm The Lord of Chaos, and Claude here is not but a lower tier demon. Now, you want to stir up trouble is that correct? Kidnapping Ciel Phantomhive? Sounds fun enough. So why don't we make a little deal? I make it so Sebastian can't get in your way, and you liven up a neighborhood that's becoming duller and duller with each passing day. How does that sound?" She was smiling the kind of smile that a con man gives you when he thinks he's about to win.

"It will be easy, with Claude's help." Aloise said, causing her to burst into a fit of laughter. His eyes widened. "You aren't--"

"Oh yes, it  has to be at least mostly fair, so Claude won't be able to help either. How does a week sound?" That cursed smile...

"Claude comes, or no deal." Aloise said. Claude's eyes widened.

"My lord--" The demon started.

"Please, Claude." She sighed. "Spare us. So you don't want a demon free week, Earloise? Even if it means an elevated chance of getting Ciearl Phantomhive in the end?" Aloise nodded.

"I'm getting tired of your puns." He said in a warning tone.

"Oh, well, that's no fun at all. Very well, Earloise. I'll be going. You will, too." His eyes widened.

"I didn't agree to your cursed deal!" He shouted angrily.

"That's right, you didn't. Guess that means you don't know when you'll be back." She grinned and disappeared, like she'd never been there, and Aloise collapsed to the floor.

~Meanwhile~

"Would you like a meringue pie with your tea, my lord?" Sebastian said, rolling in the tea cart. Ciel leaned back in his chair.

"Yes, please." He said, exhausted. "Those cursed salesmen, always trying to--" his sentence was cut off as he curled into a fetal position and clutched his temples, screaming.

"My lord!" Sebastian cried, running to his master.

Sebastian and Claude had very similar experiences from there. Both earls convulsed madly for a few seconds, screaming, then they hung limp, before their extremities began to fade away. Both demons held their masters as the overly dramatic scenes ended with the four other servants of the house running in just in time to see the shocked expressions on the butlers faces as the last of their masters disappeared. Both butlers sent the servants back to their duties. This is where the experiences diverged once again. While Claude stood, walking out of the room to assist with cleaning, and making sure nobody outside the house knew what had happened. Sebastian sat there, and, after a long while, whispered "What demented game are you playing?"

Weird Rainbow Ponies

Ciel awoke with a pounding headache. He was outside. Since when was he outside? He moved to stand up, but... "Hooves?" He cried out. "Since when do I have hooves? I'm not a horse!" He managed to obtain a quadrupedal stance. "Horses aren't this color anyways." His stance was awkward, legs spread far apart in an attempt to keep his balance. He looked around for Sebastian, but only saw another weird horse thing.

"So you are Ciel." The voice came out flat, a tone Ciel had never heard from it's owner. Clearly, Ciel was not the only one who wasn't happy to be here. "I'd gloat, but this seems like a hollow victory, since neither of us can get home."

"How do you know? If we got here, we can get home, even if we don't know how!" Defeat was a surprisingly disconcerting look on weird-horse Aloise. Then, coming down the road came the sound of humming. A yellow and pink weird-horse with wings was trotting into view. The two earls stared at her. She was most likely older than them, as she was a bit taller. She stopped when she saw them. She walked right up to Ciel, investigating his left eye, reminding Ciel of the fact that he didn't have his eyepatch. He self consciously closed his eye, covering it with his front left limb. She drew back.

"I'm sorry." She said quietly. "What happened to your eye?" The question was almost as an afterthought. Ciel backed up, best has he could with his poor balance and elevated hoof. At least he didn't fall over. Aloise still hadn't stood all the way up.

"None of your business." He said harshly. A little too harshly, apparently, as the weird-horse started to cry and ran away, forgetting she had wings or something.

"What's that?" Aloise said, pointing to a cloud. Ciel turned him stared.

"Is this some kind--" A blue flying weird-horse slammed into him, knocking him over and cutting off his sentence.

"What did you say to her?" The rough voice demanded.

~*~*~*~*~

Aloise, his question answered, decided to enjoy the show. Part of the show seemed to include a purple weird-pony with wings and a horn coming in for a slightly awkward landing. Cool. Aloise watched in mild interest as the newcomer ran the rest of the short distance and then... Lifted Ciel's attacker with some sort of magenta aura that seemed to be coming from her horn. "Rainbow Dash!" The purple one exclaimed. "Calm down! He's just a colt!" Neither of them had acknowledged Aloise yet. That was poor judgement on their parts.

"Hi! Who are you? Who's you're friend? What'd I miss?" The voice startled him. A lot. He jumped and whirled, finding himself facing a pink on pink weird-pony.

"Slow down!" He said. "You may call me Earl Aloise Trancy. The other pony here you don't know is... Hard to explain. You missed him accidentally insulting one of your friends and then getting assaulted."

"Ooh, you're an earl! Twilight! This guy's an earl!" The purple one rolled her eyes.

"Just because he says he's an earl doesn't mean he's really an earl."

"Stop that line of thought there before he tries to kill you, please." Ciel said, getting up a bit less awkwardly than before. "We're both earls. My name is Earl Ciel Phantomhive. The reason Aloise finds it hard to explain me is because he's tried to kidnap me multiple times. Hasn't given up yet, either."

"Kidnap? It that anything like foalnap?" The purple one asked.

"If that's taking someone somewhere against their will for nefarious purposes, than yes."

"Nefarious? Honestly, Ciel, Nefarious simply isn't the word for my intentions."

"I highly doubt that."

"Note to self;" The pink one interrupted. "Hold two separate welcome to Ponyville parties for the newcomers."

"Pinkie!" The other two said. "You can't throw a welcome to Ponyville party for a foalnapper, even if they haven't succeeded!"

"Don't be silly. Of course I can!"

Aloise and Ciel looked at each other. "We've got to get out of here." Ciel whispered. "All differences aside, these ones are insane. Let's see if there are any sane sentients in fleeing distance." Then the purple one picked them up in her magical grasp.

"Come on. We've got somewhere to go." She said, lifting off.

The Most Unfitting Castle

"I never imagined I'd see a castle anywhere ending in 'ville'." Aloise said. "Learn something new every day." The castle didn't fit with the rest of the town at all. The surrounding buildings were made out of wood, or even carved out of live trees, but the castle was made out of crystals and stones. Inside the entry hall stood the most perplexing creature ever beheld by human-turned-weird-pony eyes. "What are you?" Aloise blurted out.

"Aloise, Ciel, this is Discord. Discord, these is Earl Aloise Trancy and Earl Ciel Phantomhive." The two earls, briefed on Twilight's princess hood during the journey, did not comment when Twilight referred to them so informally at first.

"Ciel, I don't think we're in Britain anymore." Aloise said, staring at the creature known as Discord.

"What was your first clue?"

"Britain? Where's that?" Twilight's innocent gaze faltered when she took in the shocked expressions of the ponies she held in her magic aura. There was a long, awkward pause.

"Well," said Discord. "This is quite an interesting development. Let's just say that Britain is very far away from here. Very, very far." Ciel and Aloise exchanged a horrified look.

~*~*~*~*~

Twilight had gathered the rest of the mane six, Discord and Spike in the conference chamber. She looked around the table solemnly. "Now then," She said. "You've all met these mysterious ponies from this mysterious Britain. Discord knows where it is, but it's very far. Their primary objective seems to be to get home, but we have not confirmed this. Ciel claims that Aloise has attempted to foalnap him previously, which is why I set Lyra to stand in the hall where I put their rooms while we have this meeting. The question remains; what do we do with them?"

"I suggest we let them loose and see what happens."

"That's a terrible idea!" Rarity shuddered, appalled by the very thought.

"It would be interesting. Things have been pretty boring since this castle popped out of the ground."

"I'd be more likely to call it peaceful." Applejack glared.

"Alright, so we keep them comfy and safe here? They'll never get home that way."

"He does have a point. Remember the breezies?"

"Ciel and Aloise aren't a tiny, helpless wimps! They're ponies with intent!"

"Rainbow Dash is right. If we keep them here, they'll be comfortable, safe and stuck, but not happy." Discord concluded.

"Right." Twilight said. "Which means we need an alternate course of action. Any ideas?" Everyone was stuck.

~*~*~*~*~

Lyra sat in the hallway, reading a book about humans. She was so engrossed, she didn't notice Discord until he tapped her on the shoulder, causing her to jerk up and look around for a few moments. "Thanks. I wasn't paying attention." She admitted, taking up a solid stance against the wall.

"Why don't you check on our guests? Humans can be so unpredicta-- Oops! Forget I said anything." Lyra turned to him, eyes alight.

"Humans? Are they really humans?"

"What?" Discord said, the tone of lying creeping into his voice. "No. Of course not."

"I'll go check on Ciel right now!" She rushed into Ciel's room. Discord emitted a small chuckle.

~*~*~*~*~

Aloise didn't like being alone. He was hiding from the loneliness when Discord entered. The draconequus was surprised when entering provided him with a hug. "Don't leave me alone! I hate being alone!" Aloise cried. Discord looked around for some method of trying to pry his new leach off.

"Okay, okay! I tried to tell Twilight, of course but she didn't believe me." Aloise backed up.

"How did you know?" The tone was cautious, the eyes were suspicious. This was not someone at ease.

"Why Earloise, how do you think?" The tone was lilting, and while the voice hadn't changed, it had because much more recognizable.

"You!" Aloise shouted. "This is all your fault! Get out!" Aloise flung everything he could at Discord to facilitate in making him leave. Discord just sighed.

"Alright then. Avatar of Chaos out! Peace!" The unfamiliar slang was the last thing Discord said before closing the door, leaving him in loneliness once more.

~*~*~*~*~

"I don't have time for this! I have to find a way to get home!" Ciel said. "Leave me alone!" The green unicorn sat back, disappointed. She snuffled a bit, before talking again.

"But Discord said you were human. And I've read books about humans. I wanna know what it's like." Ciel looked around. Why is everyone so sensitive?

"You remind me of Elizabeth."

"Who's Elizabeth?"

"Elizabeth is... She's my fiancé."

"Fiancé? You going to get married? When?"

"It'll be a few years, yet. It was an arranged marriage, from when we were kids, but we are very close."

"Well, it's better than being arranged to marry somepony you don't like."

"Do speak as an observer, a speculator, or someone who's experienced it?"

"My family is reasonably well off, and pretty high ranking, socially. At that point, social mini-factions start to arise. Arranged marriages are ways to clear some of the pressure off your parents and new inlaws. They tried it for me once, and they don't know where I am to try it again."

"I see." Ciel looked at her for a while. "Maybe you remind me less of Elizabeth than I thought." She looked at him quizzically. "That's a good thing, because I would probably go insane if everybody here was the same as the people I know in Britain."

"Yeah, probably." She nodded. "I have to go check on your, um, not-friend." She walked out, calling over her shoulder. "Can I come back later?" She was enough like Elizabeth to keep him reminded of what home was like, but not enough to send him over the edge. Ciel nodded.

"Yes. Yes, you can."

His Butler, Worried Sick

A black haired girl of about 16 sat on her couch, staring at the screen. The old Black Butler episodes on Netflix didn't line up with the timeline she had messed with. Why would they? She was just glad Equestria's day and night cycle were inverted from that of her own home. She glanced at the clock. 12:30 pm. Now was probably as good a time as ever to check on the servants of house Phantomhive. She'd check Earloise's servants tomorrow. Maybe. Both butlers would be angry, but Sebastian was also in the dark. She chuckled, closing Netflix and going into her room. Turning on a recording of her playing video games, she went to house Phantomhive with much less ceremony than she had used to extract it's master.

~*~*~*~*~

Sebastian was mostly recovered from the shock of Ciel's extraction. What does she think she's doing? The servants were operating at their usual level of competence. Does she have any idea what could happen? Sebastian turned at the sound of an explosion. Anything could happen to the young master, and she's made it so I can't fetch him! "Baldroy! Stop using dynamite at as a cooking tool!" I'd say things couldn't get any worse, but they always can.

"Sorry, Sebastian!" Sebastian sighed and started to walk down the stairs.

"I'll cook lunch! You clean up!"

"As soon as this lady gets out of my kitchen!" Eyes widening, Sebastian ran the rest of the way to the blast zone. Sure enough, there she was.

"Hi!" Her tone implied she was here for a friendly visit. Her tone was lying, and they both knew it. She hadn't tried to blend with the culture this time.

"Your shirt and jeans clash with the culture." He said, in a tone that suggested he might have been talking about furniture.

"I know, Bassie, but I didn't have time to get changed." She was still smiling. Baldroy was looking back and forth between them.

"You two know each other?" He asked.

"Oh, yes." Said Sebastian. "But we're not on the best of terms right now."

"Hey, you were the one that said 'listen when people tell you to do stuff'." She defended. "And 'Thulu said he thought Tia's neighborhood was boring, and that I should do something to lighten it up-- hey!" She had to cut off and jump as Sebastian's anger took over and he lunged for her throat. "Don't do that!" She was behind Sebastian now, standing between him and Baldroy. That was a rather unsurprising display of cockiness. Or just lack of planning.

"I think I have a right. You did kidnap the young master." Baldroy spurred into action by these words pulled out a flamethrower and aimed it at her. She barely glanced at him.

"Where is he?" Baldroy demanded. "Where are you hiding him?" She laughed.

"I just left him and Earloise with some friends of mine. He'll be fine, unless he wanders into the Everfree forest at night. And then there will be a search party, because Twilight hates losing people, and Pinkie knows I want them looked after, and everyone else will come with them, because they're all good friends and they won't let anyone go into that forest without considerable backup."

"You monster! You're crazy!"

"Hmm? Oh, yes, you're probably right. Anyway, Bassie, I only came here to make sure wasn't falling apart, and to make sure you know what's going on. If Earloise had accepted the Deal, I could have given you a more definite date of return, but unfortunately, it's up to Tia and Twilight. I'll be going, then." She mock saluted and disappeared like she'd never been there.

~*~*~*~*~

"Ciel!" The whispered voice woke Ciel from a restless sleep. Aloise's face was inches from his own. He made a startled choking noise inched away.

"What?"

"We've got to get out of here!"

"I know."

"Now!"

"Why now?"

"Because everyone else is asleep! And that draconequus or whatever is responsible for us being here in the first place!"

"Then he can send us home!"

"I doubt he will, if he even is a he. The form that sent us here was definitely female."

"Alright then. This better not be some sort of trick."

"Believe me, I wish it was."

~*~*~*~*~

Outside was cold, the pale crescent moon shining. It would have been lovely, if either earl had looked. They ran the best they could, and eventually reached the edge of a dark forest. "We can go through this forest. It'll be shorter than going around, and I don't think they'll follow us." Aloise nodded, and the two of them entered the Everfree forest together.

Bothered Butler

Claude reentered Trancy House, his frown etched deeper on his face, the echo of what had happened still playing in his mind.

"I'll see what I can do, Claude, but I can't guarantee anything."

Sebastian would likely do something similar, once he found out what was going on. He might already know. The Lord of Chaos liked to mess with people like that. But still...

"Hey! Claude!" The voice by the door of his masters study was familiar. Too familiar.

"Alciel? What are you doing here? I thought you were helping Satan acquire that new vacation home or whatever." Claude looked at the demon standing before him. He seemed embarrassed.

"That kind of fell through. Turns out one of the humans had a holy sword. We had to escape."

"So you came here."

"First, we accidentally went somewhere else, but yes." Alciel rubbed the back of his head. "Japan, around the year 2000, in a version of earth with less arcana. We were stuck awhile."

"I see. Where is the Demon King?"

"He's in the kitchen, I think. He learned to cook while we were there, actually."

"Lovely. Let's go make sure the kitchen is in one piece, alright?"

"What does an anime about pirates have to do with anything?"

~*~*~*~*~

Sebastian reentered Phantomhive house, his frown etched deeper on his face, the echo of what had happened still playing in his mind.

I'm sorry Sebastian. I'm afraid I can't do anything. I'm sure Princess Celestia will sort it out.

Claude would likely do something similar, once he got himself together. He might have already. The Lord of Chaos couldn't disable him that much, could she? But still...

"Sebastian, why am I here? And why can't I leave?" The suit of armor by the door of his masters study, which hadn't been there before, asked.

"Alphonse? My, this is a surprise. It seems that The Lord of Chaos is messing around quite a bit. I wonder what her plan is."

"Are you sure she has one, Sebastian? She's been known to do stuff like this without one."

"I'm afraid to even think about that possibility right now, Alphonse."

"Sorry."

~*~*~*~*~

The humans-turned-ponies walked briskly along the trail. The crescent moon shone overhead. Behind them, there was a loud cracking noise.

"AAAGH!" Aloise clung to Ciel like he was a lifeboat on a sinking ship.

"Get off of me!" Ciel shouted, trying in vain to pry his mortal enemy off of him as the cockatrice's head popped out of the bush. "There, see? It's just--" Ciel looked into the cockatrice's eyes, and turned to stone.

"AAAGH!" Aloise screamed again, closing his eyes. Then he screamed some more for good measure.

~*~*~*~*~

Fluttershy, returning home from the days trials, heard the first scream. She stopped. She looked at the forest. "Somepony's in trouble! I should help them. I'll get the others. But that could take too long!" The second scream split the air. "I've got to help now!" She exclaimed quietly, and ran whimpering into the forest.

When she found Ciel, Aloise, and the cockatrice, Aloise had turned to stone, too. "You again?" She said to the cockatrice. It turned, and she closed her eyes. "Turn them back, please." The chicken-snake squawked. "Alright." She said. She opened her eyes and stared. She could feel her hind legs and her tail once again turning to stone. "Turn them back." She demanded. The cockatrice stared harder. So did she. "Turn them back now!" The cockatrice, recognizing it couldn't win, stopped staring, and backed down. So did Fluttershy. Her rear half, Ciel, and Aloise returned to normal.

"Huh." Said Ciel. "I'm alive!"

"What were you two doing out here? You could have been seriously hurt!" Fluttershy began fussing over the two.

"Well, sorry." Ciel said. "Nobody told us to stay out of Deathtrap Woods." He moved Fluttershy's hoof away from his face.

"Actually, it's called the Everfree Forest." Fluttershy muttered.

"Right. Duly noted. Never go into the Everfree Forest, ever, and never listen to Aloise when he's raving mad. Which is always."

"Hey!"

"It's true, you know. You are raving. Come on, everyone, let's go back."