If Wishes Were Ponies

"AAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" I opened my eyes and lowered my hands. I could see myself in the same mirror as when I woke up, same hips, same eyes, same lips, same everything. This had to be a nightmare. A pink pony nightmare... he he... Nightmare Moon. The four ponies were crowding me, and I began to smell something... off.

"Come on! You said we were going back to your quarters!"

"Let's buck and then party!"

"You sure he is male?..."

"Hmm... he does appear to match the computer's description of female, but..." I jolted upright as a part of my pants that was never meant to glow, started glowing. "Definitely male." Gorram Twilight!

"He looks upset. Maybe we should hold the group buck first."

"Pinkie, I don't think he has enough holes for that." OKAY, first Rainbow Dash, NOW TWILIGHT?! Why was a group of FEMALE ponies thinking bout putting things in me!? I was a guy, not a pincushion.

"girls, girls, we need to think about this fine ladies feelings. We can't just buck him and go back to Equestria! We should obviously let him into our herd." WHOA!

"OKAY, STOP. What the FUCK are all of you talking about?! One, I'm a guy, TWO I'm a guy! Quit calling me a lady! Thirdly, you are not taking me anywhere, putting anything in me, or magicking me. Finally, HOW ARE YOU STILL HERE, and WHY DO I LOOK LIKE THIS?!" All four ponies were staring at me in confusion now, as if I was the magical unicorn in space.

"But you summoned us in the middle of futanari heat season! What are we supposed to do! It's against the law for us to buck anyone but you!" Okay, I've been trained on how to reject advances from those of other cultures. Be firm, be polite, and don't give ground.

"New life and civilizations are not going in my butt anytime soon. I didn't mean to summon you, and I don't mind you propositioning someone else." Okay, not what I meant to say, but that should work.

"But we are 4-"

"eeep." Ohh buck.

"We are 5 of Equestria's greatest heroes! I'm a Princess! You'd be set for life!" Whoa, whoa, whoa... step back for a moment.

"Ensign Eldridge, REPORT!" I didn't even bother checking for the source of the bass voice. I was at attention before I could blink. I was so dead. "Ensign, I understand you were knocked out for most of today's incident, so let me fill you in. Aliens came in through the wormhole, made everyone's imagination come to life. Now they are gone, that is over, and I'm faced with one person who hasn't gotten the memo. Now, can you explain to me why you look like this, and why I still have 6 aliens mucking about in my medbay?" I felt cold sweat drop down along my brow, my heart was beating out of my chest, my was becoming short and panicky. This was becoming a becoming a defcon 1 flight or fight response, and I sure as hell wasn't fighting the large, well built, black, battle tested Commander Sisko.

"Ensign!" Okay, just... deep breathes, deep breathes. He couldn't legally strangle me. I just had to keep saying that to myself.

"Umm, sir, pardon me, but why are you yelling at our new herdmate?" TWILIGHT, NO!

I stared in horror as Commander Sisko slowly turned his death stare onto the Princess of Magic. Think, Alex, THINK! Futanari ponies are about to tell my Commanding Officer that I had to go back to a magical land so they could fuck me up the ass. WHY DOESN'T STARFLEET PREPARE YOU FOR THIS?

"And you are?" Think, THINk, THIIIINK!

"Princess Twilight Sparkle, and these are my friends, the Elements of Harmony." I stared in awe as the Commander's poker face didn't even flinch under the insanity of what was being said to him by a purple and pink pony. "And I'll be glad to get out of your hair as soon as we finish doing the seals on the magic teleport back to Equestria. Normally, I'd just match our harmonic signatures and 'poof,' but our new herdmate is harder to transport than expected."

"Am I to understand..." I felt myself beginning to drown in my panicked sweat, horror visibly pouring out oof my pores. "... that you plan to take this ensign back to your home planet to form a romantic union with him." I felt myself shrivel up inside as I watched my death rocketing towards me.

"Yep!"

"Ensign, is this true?" A LIGHT! I SEE A LIGHT!

"S-sir! I've been trying to tell them that I didn't agree to any of this, but they keep ignoring what I'm saying!" PLEASE, lady luck, PLEASE don't fuck me over. Just this once.

"Huh, but you summoned us with a spell to make you more attractive! Sure, it was a pretty juvenile spell, but I fixed it right up for you. I had to fix the summoning too, but with some training, you'll be doing magic in no time!" I...wat?

"Ensign, do you understand any of what she is saying." Okay, I might be able to survive this now.

"Sir, these creatures are from a 21st century child's show I sometimes watch. I did not cast a 'spell' on myself, or summon them using 'magic.'" Please Lady Luck, just this once.

"How are they still here then?"

"Well, I wouldn't have been here long with the spell he used, but I fixed it so that we can stay as long as we want!"

"And the 'spell' on his appearance?"

"Child's play! Now he won't ever have to worry about renewing it." W-what?

Sisko frowned for just a moment, seemingly forever. Then he began to laugh. It was a rich baritone laugh that cut deep.

I was so dead.

"Doctor Bashir, ha haaa ha, please return to the infirmary."

"Ohh, the teleport spell is ready, everypony ready?"

"I think we're all ready Twilight. let'r rip!" No, no no no no no!

"Stop!" I felt tears of relief fall down my cheek as Commander Sisko's strong baritone stopped Twilight and co. in their tracks. Finally, this nightmare can end. "Now, I don't know how it works where you come from, but here no means no! Ensign Eldridge has verbally refused consent, and you cannot take him against his will. Even if he had said yes, going with you would be desertion!" I sagged in total joy as Twilight actually stopped to listen to my superior officer.

"But," No! "why wouldn't he want to go? Me and my herd could provide anything he'd ever want! He'd have all the jewelry, art, warmth, and cum he could ever want!" I blanched in shock as Twilight flat out told the a Commander she planned to fuck me up the ass. Not that Starfleet discriminated against that kind of thing, but I honestly wasn't into that! "Wait... desertion? You mean, you wouldn't support our claim to him as the patriarch of this village? Do you think we won't keep him safe, or is it that you don't think the 6 most famous futas in Equestria can't keep one cute colt's butt well sexed? I promise you, we are all the spitting image of health and virility! Look, just take us to your mayor, I'm sure she will gladly agree once she sees our dowry." I watched, almost disbelievingly, as Twilight Commander Sisko's pleasant mirth and slowly twisted it into the text book definition of repressed rage, only for him to work himself down from murder to indignation without speaking.

"Miss Sparkle, I am Commander Benjamin Sisko of Starfleet, and I am in command of this station. Ensign Eldridge is a Ensign in that same navy, and he has refused your advances. Any attempt to take him against his will, will be resisted to the best of our abilities." I sagged in final relief, sure that even Tailight couldn't argue against that.

"But we've already put a ponyfication spell on him! He'll be on four hooves before the end of the day! We were using a summoning detection spell to find a herdmate! Our hormones are already in overdrive. If we don't inseminate him soon we'll become mindless we'll start humping walls if we can't find release! Please, you can't do this!" What fucked up Equestria did she come from?!

"Doctor Bashir, please report to medical ASA-"

"I'm here!" I felt something shift inside me, painfully. Panic was rising at an astronomical rate. I felt ... so scared. I was shaking in the bed, hurting. I looked up, but my vision blurred as pain surrounded my eyes. I was going blind!

"Doctor, the lifeforms before you have done something to the ensign. They claim to be..."

"Ponyfying him! Pretty soon he'll be just a normal colt on four legs, ready to be rutted!"

"We are having a talk." I heard the sound of a combadge being tapped. "Security, report to medical." I heard the chief of security garble something in reply.

"W-what do you mean security?" Twilight's voice was quavering. Apparently she was finally getting that she wasn't wanted here. Pain was quickly spreading from the base of my spine up. Not that it was the only source, but that was the most significant.

"Now, ensign, I need you to stare into this light." I could make out the words, but for some reason I couldn't tell who was talking anymore. I... I couldn't see a light either. I.. can't see!