That Brown Stetson

by Shipper_Overlord

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Random, Discord, Princess Celestia, Main 6, Princess Luna, Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1362

It's just a stetson, Applejack has worn it all her life, and yet, everypony is beginning to realise they actually want to wear the hat the more they stare at it! And so, the bet is made, but who will win?

It's just a brown stetson.

Just a hat!

It's childish to think they can actually wear that silly cursed hat! But now everypony wants to wear it, and in the totally maddening town of Ponyville where nothing is sane, a bet is made. Whoever wins gets a full week of whatever they want!

Only when the Princess gets wind of this. Things get really weird.

Published 2014-08-06 13:10:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-08-06 13:10:03 UTC

Why? Just Why?

It was a wonder really. A simple hat, a hat that one of the six heroes of Equestria always wore, sometimes, she would give it to her friends. It was childish, it really was. Applejack was honest, brave and true, a hard working farm-mare, fellow friend and advisor to the newly Princess of Friendship. Her friendship was wanted all over Equestria, and no one would want to break it.

It’s just.

Everypony really wanted that brown stetson hat. And I mean everypony. They didn’t quite get it, a stetson hat, it was just a hat! Why would anypony bother a friend for a simple hat? But, they were just to bothered by the hat that a competition suggested by Rainbow Dash, was made.

And so the bet was made, whoever can get Applejacks’ hat, wear it, they’ll get a week of whatever they wanted from everypony in Ponyville.

Only, when news of this bet reached Celestia and Luna, not to mention Discord hiding behind the scenes, only then, did things get weird.

OOOO

The first pony to try was Pinkie Pie. Applejack was bucking trees for the delicious rich green and bright red apples of Sweet Apple Acers by the time the party pony appeared. A large bucket welcomed the falling apples, and Pinkie swooped in like a diving hawk. Dive, catch, fly.

She swooped from the apple tree she was hiding in, wearing her army camouflage kit and night-vision goggles, and reached out her hooves to catch the brown stetson.

She ended up face-first in an apple tree a few yards away from her friend, slipping down the tree with an awkward screech mumbling “Curse you Jungle references.”

Next, was Rainbow Dash. The pegasus pony simply dove down from the skies one late Monday afternoon with dangerously high speeds, and reached out to grab the stetson-

She crashed into another pegasus; Lighting Dust in fact, who caught wind of this ‘stupid’ game and was under full control of the stetson after she found out she can have a week of whatever she wanted. That meant she could get into the Wonderbolts!

Anyways, they both collided into each other and flew a couple of miles away from the oblivious farm-mare. And a few hours later, both pegasi were in hospital.

They also had to pay for the destruction they caused, the poor, helpless cabbages. They were buried in the cemetery a few seconds later, they're mothers and fathers wept upon their noble sacrifice.

Next was the trio; Twilight, Rarity and Fluttershy. Twilight suggested tickling Applejack, Rarity suggested giving her a ‘makeover’, Fluttershy just simply suggested asking.

Twilight tried first, and failed, ending up waking up a few hours later in the middle of the street. Blossomforth, a spectator and friend of the Princess, informed the Friendship Godess, that she was accidentally bucked in the face as she tried tickling Applejack.

Rarity tried, and ended up screaming dramatically and fainting. Muddy, dirty Applejack who recovered from a playful wrestle with Big Macintosh. She didn’t wake up until the next day.

Meanwhile, as Rarity was unconscious, Fluttershy simply backed away as Trixie surprisingly nearly got the stetson when she offered Applejack to ‘hat swap’. The farm-mare simply said; “Ah love mah stetson, maybe next time Trix.”

Everypony was surprised when Trixie simply said, “The GREAT and HUMBLE Trixie only wanted to test how the hat ‘feels’ on her head!” She left mumbling something about the upcoming chaos and that she needed to keep her wagon safe. But nopony paid attention.

Then Sweetie Bell, Scootaloo and Apple Bloom caught the news of this 'bet', and made the 'Cutie Mark Crusaders Steton Snatchers, Yay!" And catapulted themselves at Applejack when she was baking snacks for her family with the ever-so-calm Granny Smith who totally wasn't going to smash a rolling pin on her head and take the stetson!

The fillies crashed into Granny Smith and all rolled out of the window which was thankfully open. But Apple Bloom and Sweetie Bell were both grounded while Scootaloo was congratulated for her 'brave try' by Rainbow who finally recovered from hospital and had to pay respects to the fallen cabbages.

Big Macintosh wasn't any better, he put on a film for his younger sister and when she was taking a nap, he tried getting the stetson off her head, but by Celestia did Applejack have a iron grip. Macintosh was released after a few hours of struggling when Applejack woke up.

The farm-mare left the Apple House with a oblivious smile and went to go visit her friends, but when she got there-

Chaos, simply that.

Luna, Princess of the Night, entered Ponyville with all sword and armour as did Celestia herself. The two sisters clashed in the sky in a brilliant fight of majesticness-totally a word-and brilliance of power and speed. Applejack had to take cover like everypony else from all the blasts of energy coming from the two fighting sisters.

Spells, swords and cheers erupted as the citizens of Ponyville watched as the two sisters clashed and fought over the first move against Applejack’s stetson hat.

Meanwhile, as Applejack sat down beside her friends as they watched the two sisters battle, Discord showed up in a brilliant light and shifted the scene into a wedding.

Applejack’s stetson marrying Boulder, Maud Pie’s pet, he was close to marrying the rock and hat and even taking the hat away to win the bet-

It didn’t last well as the sly, cunning spirit had wanted. As Celestia crashed through into the wedding and sent out a burst of yellow magic towards her sister, who, deflected it with a block of her midnight sword.

The town exploded into confetti.

Applejack sat with her mouth hung agape.

And then?

Derpy happened.

But seriously, can't a farm-mare take a break?

OOOO

Applejack couldn’t believe this, the Princess of both Night and Day were totally insane, blasting magic here and there, clashing swords, blowing up building into confetti. It was madness!

The farm-mare stared up as she watched the fight continue, unaware as a grey and sunny yellow pegasus flew up to the farm-mare shyly, her ‘derpy’ eyes holding all focus on the farm-mare.

“Hi Applejack!” The pegasus greeted, the farm-mare snapped out of his trace and smiled sheepishly, “Hi Derpy” She replied.

“Hey can I ask you something?” The mail-mare asked, tilting her head, her wings fluttering.

“Sure!” Applejack replied.

“Can I borrow you’re stetson? I really want Dinky to have one before Pipsqueak’s birth-“

It was a flash; Applejack smiled and took, literally took off her stetson hat off her blond mane and placed it on Derpy’s bright yellow-maned head.

The world literally was silent, Celestia floated down, mouth hung agape, Luna fainted. Twilight and Rainbow leaned on each other, Rarity exchanged confused glances with Discord, who shrugged and continued eating his popcorn. Fluttershy smiled softly to herself.

“I’m guessing Derpy can do whatever she wants now.” Rainbow Dash sighed, facehooving, “Why didn’t I think of asking?!” She added with a long groan.

“Sister, w-I beg forgiveness” Luna groaned as she slowly recovered, “The stetson is a powerful creature, one w-I would want on my side.”

Celestia could only nod.

And nod again.

And prepare for the unholy horror of Derpy's winnings.

OOOO

Derpy used her bet well, she made Luna and Celestia fix the damage they obviously made, and thankfully spared Fluttershy from work, while the rest of the ponies who were in the bet were made to do the worst thing possible. Discord himself cowered in fear as they were left in charge of Dinky and Pipsqueak.

The Mane Six, Discord, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Bell, Scootaloo, Big Macintosh and Granny Smith all were tied to a couch as they stared at the screen, the rolling of camera made the film go up on the wall. Dinky previously told them that they should learn from stealing and using it for you're own silly deeds.

They all watched Twilight.

It was not a happy week, but like Rainbow Dash said, 'worth it'.

Author's Note

-Hides behind fort of pillows-

I AM READY FOR THE HATES!