Chapters "Twilight, Twilight!" Discord called, pounding on the doors to the Golden Oaks Library. "You're never going to believe what I just did! It's brilliantly chaotic, you'll love it!"
Twilight opened the door slowly. Her mane was a bedraggled rats' nest, sticking out every which way. Bags upon bags of dark circles under her eyes twitched as she blinked slowly in the morning light. She smacked her lips and focused her bloodshot, glazed eyes on Discord. She was also wrapped up in a fluffy pink bathrobe, which was the nicest looking thing about her.
"What" she asked.
Discord recoiled in horror at her appearance, "Celestia's sake, Twilight! What in Equestria happened to you?"
"I woke up" Twilight answered, blinking slowly. "What didshuh have ta' show me or whatever" she slurred.
Discord slowly lifted a claw and snapped his fingers, and Twilight's appearance suddenly became refreshed. Her mane was instantly cleaned and brushed, her eyes were relieved of their dark circlets, and her morning breath dissipated.
She smacked her lips and blinked one last time, "Thanks" she said simply, shaking herself mentally awake. "Now what do you want?"
Discord gestured grandly as he remembered his point, "Yes! Oh Twilight, you're going to love it! I was bored, so I made a new planet!"
"A new planet" Twilight repeated, already mentally done with talking to Discord.
"Yes! It's just like Equestria! Except nothing like Equestria," Discord explained gleefully. "See, everything there is backwards than it is here. Ponies sleep during the day, pegasi don't fly, and Rarity's company is appreciable. I call it, 'Antiequus'." Discord wiped at his eye, reminiscing on his creation. "It's simply glorious."
"That's great, Discord." Twilight said as if it weren't very great at all. "I'm going back to bed," and she shut the door.
Discord stuck his lion's paw in the door, "Oh, but no!" he objected, "I want you to see it firsthand! You and all your little friends! You'll love it!"
Twilight leaned her body against the door, trying to force it shut, "I don't think so, Discord," she rejected.
Discord chuckled mischievously, "Too late!" he declared, and snapped his claw.
Within an instant, Twilight was blinking in the light of an alien sun.
The sky was burnt orange, the grass and trees were scarlet, and the sun was a deep, jet black. It seemed to be sucking light in rather than emitting it. The buildings all appeared to be hewn from stone, rather than crafted from wood. Twilight spun this way and that, taking in her new surroundings.
"Wowie zowie! What's this place?" inquired a cheery voice.
Twilight swiveled on her hoof to find her five friends standing around behind her, taking in the view of Antiequus. Rarity seemed to be blushing furiously. "I-I was just taking a shower!" she sputtered, trying to cover up her body. "I feel so lewd!"
"Land sakes," Applejack said, looking at the trees with scarlet leaves. "Ain't never seen a tree that color before! 'ts a beaut."
"Forget the trees, what happened to the sky?" Rainbow Dash shouted, pointing up at the orange hued atmosphere.
"Um, Twilight," Fluttershy asked quietly, "Where are we? I was just in the middle of feeding Angel, I hope he won't be too mad that I dematerialized."
"I can answer that, dear Fluttershy," Discord said, appearing behind Twilight with a piping hot cuppa tea. "This is a planet of my own design! It's just like Equestria, except nothing like Equestria," he giggled, "I do so love saying that. You all are familiar with your dear planet Equus; think of this as Antiequus." he gestured broadly to his creation, "Welcome to Antiequestria."
"It's very nice, Discord," Twilight said in a voice that would suggest it wasn't very nice at all. "Now please bring us home."
"Oh, but I can't!" Discord said with false drama, "See, in my glorious creation, I overlooked a small factoid. Since this is Antiequestria, all youse ponies' Anti counterparts don't have the magic of friendship! They have," Discord continued in a hushed whisper, "Antifriendship."
Fluttershy gasped.
Twilight rolled her eyes, "And what do you expect us to do about it?"
"Fix it!" Discord instructed proudly, "I task you all to find your Anti partner and teach them the magic of friendship, and then they will spread it to all of Antiequestria!"
"Yeah, I don't want to do that." Rainbow Dash stated.
"I'm not bringing you home until you do," Discord said with a grin. He waved a claw at the six ponies, "Good luck! Toodle-oo!"
And with that, pow! He's gone.
"Antiequestria, hmph!" Applejack muttered to herself as she stomped down the alien path. At least the layout of Antiponyville was just like Ponyville, if mirrored. Applejack only figured out that she should be walking the opposite way to her farm after she had walked the opposite direction quite a ways. "When ah get my hooves on that no good donkey-snake Discord..." she continued to mutter.
Suddenly, a thought struck her. If this truly was an Anti version of Equestria, then shouldn't there be an Antidiscord? Maybe Applejack could find him and he could send her home.
Before she could develop this idea further, she rounded the last corner to her farm, if in the opposite direction.
What she saw made her heart stop for a moment.
She gritted her teeth, "Where th' buck is mah farm?!" she shouted. Right where her barn should have been standing was just an empty meadow. And all the trees-
The trees-
Oh Celestia.
Pears.
Applejack's left eye twitched, and she promptly spun on her hooves and bucked the nearest tree so hard she cracked the trunk in two.
"Wh-whoa!!" squeaked a voice from in the tree. With the shock of Applejack's buck, a pony- Antipony - who had been napping in the tree was jarred awake and thrown down onto the scarlet grass.
"Whuh?" Applejack said confusedly. The Antipony was a scrawny looking stallion. His fur was a light cyan, and his mane was a short messy mop of light purplish-pink. He fell right on his rump and rolled over, groaning in pain.
Applejack paid no attention to that fact that this was an alien pony that she was meeting for the first time, and instead walked over and scooped the antipony up, holding his tiny frame aloft. "Where. Is. Mah farm." she demanded.
The antipony pawed weakly at her grasp, "Whad arr yoo tawking abowt?" he asked in a thick Manehattan accent. "There's neve' been a fawrm hea! I should know, I live hea!"
"And who are you?" Applejack demanded, giving the antipony a shake.
The stallion grunted, "M' name's Antiapplejack. Now let gow of me!"
Applejack's eyes widened in horror.
Oh, the absolute horror.
She threw Antiapplejack down again, and he got to his hooves slowly, muttering to himself, "I know I'm uh-track-tive, but da broads need to calm down!"
Appejack squinted hard at Antiapplejack. "So yer the opposite of me?" she questioned.
"I don't know what ya mean, broad. Naow would yoo get offa my land?" he said, rubbing his sore shoulders from where Applejack had lifted him.
Applejack wrapped a hoof around Antiapplejack's head and brought him close, staring daggers at him, "Th' name's Applejack. Not 'broad'."
"Oh," Antiapplejack responded, "We got th' sayme nayme, then."
"No, we ain't." Applejack corrected, releasing him. "Ah'm th' original Applejack. You're the Anti-me."
"Well, who's to say yer not th' Anti-me?" Antiapplejack questioned. "No matter thad, whad arr yoo doin' hea, anyhouw?"
Applejack stared more daggers into Antiapplejack, "Ah'm here to teach ya' the magic of friendship."
Antiapplejack looked at her. "Um. Awright."
Applejack suddenly noticed Antiapplejack's figure, "Hang on, now," she said, "If yer the Anti me, why are ya still an earth pony?"
Antiapplejack looked down at his lanky frame, "I'm nawt an earth pony, I'm an Antiearth pony." he corrected, "Where've yoo been livin'?"
"What in Equ- Antiquestria is an Antiearth pony?" Applejack asked in confusion.
Antiapplejack seemed weirded out by Applejack's ignorance, "t's a type of pohny, 'guess. We aren't t' strawngest, but we're the smawrtest. 'Nd the smallest, too." He explained. "Naow what t' buck didja say abowt friendship or whateva?"
"Hang on," Applejack gestured, "Where's ya house?" she questioned.
"Howse?" Antiapplejacke repeated, turning this way and that, "Don't got one. I sleep in t' trees," he said, demonstrating this by promptly leaping quickly several feet into the air, landing deftly on the branch of a nearby pear tree. "Like 'em better t'n a bed, anyhow." he called down.
"Ya can fly?" Applejack shouted, spooked by Antiapplejack's sudden leap high into the air.
"Whad? Naw," Antiapplejack corrected, "J's jump real high. Whad, can't yoo do this?"
"No, ah can't!" Applejack repeated obviously. "Git back down here!"
Antiapplejack shrugged and hopped down onto the scarlet grass again, "I've neva seen an antipony like yoo befour," he observed, "Yer real...beefy."
Applejack took a threatening step forward, "'Nd what's that supposed ta mean?"
"I didn't mean anythin' buy it!" Antiapplejack said quickly, holding up a hoof innocently, "J's...yer real strawng, too. Yoo hurt my shouldeh's." He explained, rubbing his shoulders to punctuate.
"Ah didn't hurt ya. Yer just a wimp," Applejack explained bluntly. But it was true, Applejack could see that she was a lot...thicker than Antiapplejack. She would've mistaken him for a pegasus, but he clearly lacked wings. Antiequestria was already shaping up to be a very strange place.
It was almost like the opposite of her home or something.
Applejack shrugged and forcibly grabbed Antiapplejack's hoof, leading him away, "C'mon. Ah'm gonna teach ya the magic of friendship so ah can get back home and sock Discord in the face."
"I like a rough broad," Antiapplejack flirted.
He promptly received a slap across the face.
"Rough enough?" Applejack asked sweetly.
Author's Note
dialects are hard
Fluttershy walked down the opposite of the path to her sanctuary. She was admiring how the scarlet leaves blended with the burnt orange sky. It filled her with a strange fire as she absorbed the sight of it. She then looked at the sun: a jet black disk surrounded by a white hot corona. It was the most alien thing she had ever seen, and it was exhilarating.
Whatever Discord's motives to create Antiequestria, it was certainly a beautiful place.
She was briefly wondering what the antianimals would be like, when her thoughts were suddenly cut off by a very masculine voice cutting through the woods. "Look out below! "
Fluttershy yelped and ducked back a step just in time for a stallion to come crashing down in front of her, and striking a heroic pose. His fur was purple, his features looked like they were carved from marble, and his mane was a close cropped cap of turtle green.
He looked like a very manly grape with a leaf on top.
"Sorry about that, m'lady," he said in a booming voice, "I hadn't expected to find you on the path leading to my home base."
Fluttershy squeaked.
The antipony bent down to her level and offered a hoof to help her up, "I'm sorry, did I startle you?"
Fluttershy squeaked again, but took the stallion's hoof. She was promptly pulled to her hooves, and then even higher, until she was airborne. She reached the peak of her ascent, and fell back down, right into the stallion's grasp.
"Terribly sorry, miss," he said gently, "I didn't expect you to be so light."
Fluttershy squeaked again, blushing furiously.
The stallion let her go, planting her on her hooves, and took a bow, "They call me Antifluttershy," he introduced. "It's a family name. You still seem startled, would you like some calming tea?"
Fluttershy had given up on speaking, and so nodded.
Antifluttershy spun around and called out, "Damon! Come quick, and bring tea! We have a guest!"
Hopping from seemingly nowhere, a jet black furred rabbit hopped in front of Fluttershy and handed her a saucer with a teacup on it.
"Aww!" Fluttershy gushed, bending down and picking up the black furred rabbit, "He's so adorable! I've never seen a black rabbit before!"
"His name is Damon," Antifluttershy said with a smile, "And it seems all that you needed to get talking was a cute furry animal!" he let out rolls of booming laughter. "Duly noted!" he declared.
"Hi, Damon," Fluttershy greeted, cuddling the black rabbit. Damon seemed unsure of the butter colored mare, but was soon relaxing with a contented look on his face in Fluttershy's grasp.
Antifluttershy smiled, "So!" he said, "Is there anything I can help you with? You were on your way to my home, so I decided to meet you halfway!"
Fluttershy looked up at her Anti partner, suddenly retreating back into her shyness. Holding on to Damon for comfort, she squeaked out, "M-my name's F-Fluttershy."
"How serendipitous!" Antifluttershy cheered, "It appears our names are similar!"
Fluttershy nodded, "Uhuh, and," she gulped, "I'm here...to teach you, um, the magic of friendship."
Antifluttershy looked at her for a moment, then let out more rolls of booming laughter, "Surely, you jest! I have no need for friends! I have all the antifriends I need!"
"N-no!" Fluttershy objected, "You need friend-friends! Not antifriends."
Antifluttershy stroked his defined chin thoughtfully, "I...am confused," he said, "Why do I need friends if I have antifriends?"
"Well, because-"
"Pause that inquiry," Antifluttershy suddenly interjected, looking around at Fluttershy's body, "What manner of appendage is affixed to your barrel?"
Fluttershy looked back, unfurling her wings. "Wings." she answered, "You're a pegasus, right?"
"Um, Antipegasus," Antifluttershy corrected, unfurling two appendages on his back that looked more similar to shark fins. "These are my antiwings. They're perfect for swimming!"
"Swimming?" Fluttershy repeated, "Pegasi don't swim!"
"Antipegasi," Antifluttershy corrected again, "And yes, I do believe they do. Why would you think otherwise?"
Fluttershy opened her mouth, but decided against it. "Nevermind," she said. "Um, so if you're the opposite of me, what do you do?"
Antifluttershy struck a heroic pose again, "I'm an explorer, dear antipony with similar name as mine! I travel all across Antiequestria, battling Antidragons, Antiphoenixes, Antibears, Antifrost giants, all sorts of Antimonsters!"
"Y-you fight animals?" Fluttershy repeated horrifically.
Oh, the horrifically.
"Indeed, miss!" Antifluttershy nodded proudly, "My proudest achievement is the time I swung an Antishark by its tail into the face of an Antibear!"
"Th-that sounds so dangerous!" Fluttershy said, aghast.
"I live for danger!" Antifluttershy said with pride, not breaking his heroic pose. "Fighting animals, punching them in their respective faces, that is my life! And it is a good one, indeed."
"That's terrible!" Fluttershy objected.
"Oh?" Antifluttershy questioned, "you seem to have many skewed beliefs that are directly opposite of my beliefs. It's almost as if you are the Anti version of me, or something similar." he observed. "Would you like more calming tea?"
Fluttershy shook her head, getting back to the task at hand, "No, I need to teach you the magic of friendship!" she declared.
Antifluttershy chuckled to himself, "Madame, I do believe I have no need for friends. As I told you, I have all the antifriends I need!"
"The amount of antifriends you need is zero," Fluttershy said, setting Damon down (much to his dismay) and stepping around Antifluttershy. She planted her hooves into his chiseled, muscular side and began pushing him towards town. "Come on!" she grunted.
Antifluttershy watched on, puzzled as she struggled to move him.
They stayed like that for several moments before Fluttershy realized she hadn't moved him an inch.
She sighed and leaned against Antifluttershy's stone-like exterior, "This is going to be harder than I thought," she whispered to herself.
"Ma'am?"
Pinkie Pie hopped through the backwards streets of Antiponyville, waving to all the antiponies she passed. The orange sky and scarlet leaves had a Nightmare Night-y feel to them. Pinkie Pie loved Nightmare Night!
But wait, Pinkie thought. This is Antiequestria! They wouldn't celebrate Nightmare Night, they'd celebrate....Dream Day? What kind of parties would they have for Dream Day, Pinkie wondered?
Antiparties?
Pinkie Pie was getting more and more excited about this new world with each passing step, but her rising excitement was cut short as she collided with something not very soft at all.
She pushed off and looked up to see a stallion with forest green fur, and a lighter green, neatly combed, short mane. He glanced down at Pinkie and scowled, with a face etched into a permanent frown. "Watch it," he growled.
Pinkie was struck. What a grumpy-grump way to treat another pony, she thought! This antipony needed some serious cheering up, and Pinkie Pie knew just how to deliver!
She spun around to the front of the green pony and frowned as big as she could, emulating the antipony's visage. He rose a brow questioningly, "Are you mocking me?" he asked in a gruff voice.
"Yes I am," Pinkie nodded, abandoning her frowny face for a brilliant smile. "My name's Pinkie Pie! And you look like you're in need of cheering up, Mister grumpy gus." She said, playfully seizing the pony's face in her hooves and forcing him to smile.
The pony slapped her hooves away. "Antipinkie Pie," he introduced. "Don't touch me."
"Antipinkie Pie?" Pinkie Pie repeated, giggling and snorting. "That's a silly name!"
"It's a family name," Antipinkie Pie responded. "Go away." He turned on his hoof and walked away.
Pinkie dashed to the front of him again, startling Antipinkie. He turned around to walk in the other direction, but Pinkie Pie was already over there, still smiling at him. He turned around again, but again Pinkie was there, still smiling.
"Stop that." Antipinkie objected.
"No can do, Grumpy-Me!" Pinkie rejected happily, "I need to cheer you up, and teach you the magic of friendship!"
Antipinkie gave her a strange look, raising one of his brows. "Excuse me?" he said, clearing his throat.
Pinkie Pie playfully hit his shoulder, "You heard me, silly!" she said dismissively, "How many friends do you have right now?"
Antipinkie opened his mouth, but said nothing. He wasn't correctly processing the gaudily pink bubblegum pony in front of him.
But apparently, this was not the answer Pinkie was looking for, as she gasped in absolute horror (oh, the absolute horror) and espoused declatorily, "That's just not right! You need to be friends with everypony! That's the Pinkie Pie way!"
"I'm Antipinkie Pie," he responded, "And as of now, I'm antifriends with everyone. Is that good enough?"
"W-what's an antifriend?" Pinkie Pie asked in mock fearfulness.
Antipinkie rolled his eyes, "Where have you been living?" he asked.
"Bizzaro world?" Pinkie Pie suggested with a grin.
Antipinkie rolled his eyes again, "Watch," he said. Turning around, he took a nearby box in his hooves and kicked it out into the middle of the way. A few moments later, a reddish furred stallion walked out and, not looking where he was going, tripped over the box, planting his face into the dirt path beneath him.
Antipinkie started chuckling at the sight, which quickly rose to a loud guffaw. "Hey, Antilyra!" he shouted at the pony, "Look out!"
Antilyra got to his hooves, laughing with an angry smile, "Thanks for the lack of concern," he shouted back, waving, "Really appreciate it!"
"Hey, how's your antihuman bigotry going?" Antipinkie called back, "Made any sort of appreciable contribution to antiscience yet?"
"I'm gonna kill you in your sleep!" Antilyra promised, waving and walking away.
"I wanna see you try!" Antipinkie waved back with a chuckle. He turned back to Pinkie and laughed, "Hate that guy," he said dismissively.
Pinkie Pie was dumbfounded. She'd never seen anything like it! The antiponies weren't angry or jealous or sad or anything else that would make a pony not smile and say mean things, they just seemed to love to hate! Now that she thought about it, everywhere she looked the ponies were subtly seething with hatred, she saw! Market keepers swindling shoppers, antifriends greeting each other with a painful looking hoofshake, and fillies dashing to and fro, fro and to, with squeals of pain, and not laughter!
She gasped louder than she had ever gasped before! "This is just terrible!" she declared, "I have to fix it! And I know just how!" she announced proudly, quickly sidling up to Antipinkie who had been trying to slip away unnoticed, "Are you thinking the opposite of what I'm thinking?" she said gleefully.
"You mean not killing you?" Antipinkie asked.
"A party!" Pinkie shouted, leaping into the air with pinkie pride. When she fluttered back down, she saw Antipinkie running away down the road. "Hey now, that's no fun!" she giggled, chasing after him.
She caught up to Antipinkie in a matter of seconds, who huffed and puffed from the exertion, "I have to go back to work," he panted, "Go away."
"Work?" Pinkie asked, "I'm sure it'll be okay! The Anticake's can handle it for you," she reasoned with a smile.
"Are you crazy?" Antipinkie near shouted, "They'll have my rump mounted over a fireplace if I skip out!"
"Wait, so you do work for the Anticake's?" Pinkie asked, "I was just guessing! Haha, I made a smart! I gotta remember to tell Twilight!" she said to herself, following Antipinkie as he tried to run away again. "So, you work at the cake shop, like me?" she asked, on a cleverness roll.
"What? No," Antipinkie shook his head, "I work in the sewers."
Pinkie gasped, "The sewers!" she repeated incredulously, "But I work in the cake shop!"
"Well, you work with what goes into a pony," Antipinkie reasoned, "I work with what comes out," he grumbled.
Pinkie Pie giggled at that.
Rainbow Dash zipped through the air, her panic steadily rising as she dashed across the skies of Antiponyville. "Where is it, where is it?" she shrieked to herself, searching for her beloved and totally awesome cloud home, which should have been floating somewhere above the town, but in this backwards place, it wasn't.
Rainbow Dash, however, wasn't thinking backwards, and so she continued to circle the town, searching for the opposite of her home.
After unmistakably not finding it for several units of time, she banked towards the ground and slammed into it, hooves planted firmly into the antidirt and grunting and huffing angrily. "That house was almost as awesome as me!" she shouted angrily.
Her abrupt and shockwave-inducing landing had startled a nearby antipony, who was sitting on a bench with his face hidden behind a newspaper, glancing carefully at Rainbow Dash every now and then.
Rainbow noticed him staring and whipped around to face him, "You!" she shouted, "Have you seen a cloud house floating above town? Looks totally awesome, like me? Rainbows raining from the garden?" she described, using her hooves to mold an air shape of her home for descriptive purposes.
The antipony carefully lowered his newspaper, staring nervously at Rainbow and shaking his head quickly before hiding again.
Rainbow was puzzled by his demeanor. Was he trying to ignore her or something? Her? But she was so awesome! She immediately zipped closer and batted the newspaper out of the way, "Hey! Speak up! I'm looking for my house, here, you could at least help me out!"
The antipony immediately drew his legs up to his chest protectively, leaning away from Rainbow as she was increasingly and uncomfortably close to him. "S-sorry," he stuttered quietly, "I j-, I d-, sorry, I d-don't know what you're t-talking about," he said near inaudibly, trying to look away from the piercing pink eyes staring through his soul.
Rainbow's brow furrowed indignantly, "You some kind of wimp or something?" she asked, looking the antipony up and down, "What's you're name, anyhow?"
The antistallion was smaller than rainbow, though he also looked a bit thicker, softer. He had bright orange fur, and his mane was several different shades of grey, ranging from almost pure black to a single bright white forelock. He was wearing a rather large pair of glasses, which he adjusted repeatedly, "I-I'm, uh," he replied carefully, "A-Antirainbow D-Dash."
Rainbow's ears fell. Her eyes shrunk to pinpricks.
She then suddenly shoved at Antirainbow, pushing herself away from him, "Whaddya mean, Antirainbow! " she shrieked, her voice cracking, "You're such a wimp! You can't be the opposite of me!"
Antirainbow sat huddled up on the bench, "T-Technically it could make sense," he reasoned, "You're obviously really, y-you know, outgoing, and...strong, so...you know," he shrugged, "I'm not."
Rainbow slapped her hoof to her forehead at his usage of the word 'technically', "Oh no, don't tell me," she wailed, "You're an egghead too?!"
That made Antirainbow smile, and he pushed his glasses back up on his nose, "I-I like to think so, yeah," he answered sheepishly, "I'm a little bit of an antiscientist."
Rainbow fell to the ground, her hooves flapping about defeatedly while making several incoherent grunts, "Ughhhh, this can't be happening," she whined. She suddenly planted her hooves on the ground and stared intensely at the orange sky above her, "When I find Discord again, I'm gonna sock him one for making this wimpy knockoff of me!" she vowed, holding her hoof high threateningly.
Antirainbow folded up his newspaper and hopped off the bench, "Good luck with that," he wished quietly, sidling away slowly.
Rainbow immediately got up and snatched Antirainbow by the cuff of his neck, effortlessly flinging him onto her back, "Oh no you don't," Rainbow warned, "You're coming with me,"
Antirainbow tried weakly to push off, but Rianbow held him tightly in place. After a few moments he gave up struggling and bargained, "Can I at least walk beside of you? This is embarrassing."
"Good! Be embarrassed!" Rainbow scolded, "It'll toughen you up!" But, being the least bit merciful, Rainbow allowed him to slide off her back.
He happily obliged and began walking beside her, "Thank you," he ceded quietly.
"Shut up," Rainbow welcomed.
They walked in silence for a few moments, Rainbow's eyes scanned the area intensely, searching for Discord or whoever else to sock one. Antirainbow watched her, looking away every time rainbow looked his way.
Rainbow suddenly started, "Hold on! Why are we walking?" she wondered aloud, unfurling her wings, "You're me, so you should have these! Let's fly!"
"Um," Antirainbow responded, glancing at his back. Rainbow looked and saw that in place of two wings, instead Antirainbow was sporting a pair of fins, with long, shiny scales that melded into his fur instead of feathers.
"What the hay are those?" Rainbow shouted, "Aren't you supposed to be a Pegasus?"
"Antipegasus," Antirainbow corrected, "We swim...we don't fly. Speaking of, where did you get those wings?" he asked inquisitively, "Did they develop naturally or are they some form of artificial add-on? Because the rest of your body resembles an Antiearth pony, perhaps-"
"Hey!" Rainbow interrupted, "No eggheadedness allowed when you're with somepony as qwesome as me," she announced.
Antirainbow opened his mouth curiously, then shut it again.
Rainbow nodded and continued on. "I guess we'll walk, then," she conceded, sighing loudly. Suddenly, a thought struck her. "Please, please tell me, you're at least the fastest swimmer in Antiequestria, right?"
"I can't swim,"
Rainbow sighed even louder.