Twilight's Molestation Celebration

by One Terrible Writer

Rating: mature
Tags: Comedy
Length: 4279

Twilight practices sex for the Ponyville Molestation Celebration. Or so she thinks....

It's the night of the Ponyville Molestation Celebration, and Twilight is determined that Princess Celestia be the one to make sweet love to her! But first, she must get some practice in. Can Twilight sex her way through all of Ponyville so that the Princess realises she is the best at sex? Or will something terribly awkward occur? (Hint: It's the second one)

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-04-15 02:12:13 UTC

Chapter 1

“A molestation celebration?” Twilight muttered under her breath as she stared at the flier in front of her, crudely printed on a sheet of tattered parchment. She had expecting Carrot Top to be passing out information on some new play, or collecting signatures to ban Rainbow Dash from talking to tourists, but this was a new experience entirely. It seemed pretty unequivocal though.

FLUTTERSHY INVITES YOU TO:

THE TENTH ANNUAL PONYVILLE MOLESTATION CELEBRATION

TOWN HALL 9PM TONIGHT

FILTHY FUN FOR DIRTY MARES

“Really, Carrot Top? Really?” Twilight stopped staring a hole through the paper and glared quizzically at Carrot Top, who still had a large pile of leaflets left. The yellow earth pony just beamed back at her.

“I know, I know!” she squeaked out quickly. “But it’s really a lot of fun! Fluttershy’s been running it for the last few years and it’s just got bigger and better! Even Princess Celestia is coming along this year!”

Twilight shook her head sadly. “I’m so disappointed in you all Carrot Top, I mean… wait, Princess Celestia?” This changed everything! The princess in Ponyville, attending a molestation celebration? Twilight’s heart fluttered with glee, and she carefully folded up the flier with a sparkle of magic. “Good work Carrot Top, keep it up!” Then, with a wry smile, she turned to walk away. “I’ll be seeing you tomorrow!”

***

“…And so I’ll finally be able to achieve my dream of sexual intercourse with Princess Celestia!” Twilight continued to pace around the library as she had been doing for the past hour, trembling with barely restrained enthusiasm. “Imagine it Spike, me and her, alone! Well, with hundreds of other ponies, but I’m sure she’ll only have eyes for me.”

Twilight suddenly ran towards Spike, her eyes bulging with a sudden realisation. “What if Rainbow Dash steals her away from me, Spike? Rainbow Dash is always stealing ponies away from me! Everypony does! That is the only reason why I am so, so alone…” She trailed off, her eyes losing all focus as she started to stare into the distance.

Spike took a few steps back for safety and peered at the flier, scratching his head. “Twilight, are you sure this is really a molestation celebration? You know how these things always work out. You get really excited about some weird creepy sex event, then it turns out that it’s all a misprint or an hilarious misunderstanding and it gets awkward, then you go home and cry or get shot out of a cannon or something."

Twilight snatched the flier back from Spike protectively, giving him an angry stare. “No Spike, this time I’m one hundred percent confident that this event is what it says. How could I possibly misconstrue ‘molestation’?” She trotted over to the nearest window, calling out to the first pony that passed by. “Hey, Applejack, is tonight going to be saucy?”

From outside, Applejack turned, a look of horror on her face as she slowly registered who had asked the question. “Ah…. Hi Twilight!” she called back, slowly backing away from the library. “Yeah, gonna be plenty saucy!”

Twilight turned smugly to Spike. “See Spike, what did I tell you?”

Spike narrowed his eyes. “It’s Applejack, she probably means apple sauce. You’ll turn up dressed in stockings and crotchboob tassels and she’ll be there with a big pot of apple sauce.”

With a humph, Twilight turned back to the window. “Applejack, is it apple sauce?”

Applejack seemingly turned pale at the questioning. “It’s… ah… not apple sauce Twi….” she mumbled back. “But it’s ah… nothin’ you’d been interested in, jus’ stay home an…”

“Applejack!” purred Rarity, trotted up to the orange earth pony, oblivious to the beads of sweat that had just started to prick on her forehead. “What are you doing, you should be getting ready for tonight! We have all of those gigantic cocks to look forward to…” she trailed off as she saw that Applejack was facing in the direction of the library, and the small purple head peeking out of the window. “Oh no!”

From inside, Twilight grinned wildly at Spike. Spike just shook his head. “Twilight, before you say anything, the ‘massive cocks’ will probably be chickens. Don’t get your hopes up.”

“Rarity, Rarity!” Twilight cried, waving her hooves enthusiastically. “Are the giant cocks chickens?”

Rarity gulped hard, edging behind Applejack as if that would protect her from Twilight. “N-no of course not, what a silly thing to say!” she cooed back, and then ducked down to hiss in Applejack’s ear. “What? I can’t lie! Who the hay told her?”

“Ah don’t know…” Applejack mumbled. “But ah’ve got a good idea. Ah’m gonna kill Carrot Top with mah bare hooves if she messes this up!”

As she watched her two friends walking off, obviously playing a fun game in which they pretended to shout at each other, Twilight scooted back into the middle of the room, bouncing with barely suppressed energy. “Okay Spike, here’s the plan. You get my studded biker jacket, ripped stockings, neon miniskirt and crotchboob tassels, I’ll work on my sexual prowess so that I’ll be well practised when Princess Celestia arrives to molest me! I want to make sure I stand out!”

“You’ll… stand out,” Spike muttered glumly as he toddled over to the safe which held the keys to Twilight’s ‘special’ clothing collection. Usually she would just put it on in her room and rock back and forth crying to herself. The thought of her leaving the house in such a horrible ensemble was gutcrunchingly embarrassing even thinking about it.

“Hey Spike, watch this!” Twilight started to trot across the room wiggling her hips and waggling her eyelids suggestively. “Hi Princess!” she cooed. “I’m ready for my special lesson in fre-ARGH!” She was cut off as her sultry walk took her straight into an open trapdoor. Spike winced at every crash that echoed up as Twilight bounced down the stairs in a chorus of shouts and cries.

“You… you okay there Twilight?” He peered down into the gloom nervously. “Maybe you should rest up, skip this event tonight…”

“No Spike, no!” Twilight bounded out of the trapdoor, slapping it shut. “I just need to be more sexy! Maybe I can cast a spell on myself to become a giant slut!”

Spike shook his head. “No, remember the last time you did that? When you wanted to seduce Princess Celestia so you cast a spell on yourself to make you become like Rarity, the most seductive pony you knew? Remember what happened?”

Twilight looked grim for a moment. “Yes Spike, I do,” she whispered. “So… much… sewing…” She glanced over to a corner of the room which was replete with half-finished dresses and hats, as a determined look passed over her face. “I know. I need to do this myself. In one day, I need to become the most erotic pony in all of Ponyville! I need lots of practice! And I know just the place to start!”

***

“Cheerilee, I want to take our friendship to the next level!” Twilight slammed a hoof down on Cheerilee’s desk, causing several carefully stacked piles of books to fall over. “”And I don’t mean increasing out book club meets to twice weekly!”

Cheerliee scooted back in her chair. “Twilight, I don’t…”

“I won’t take no for an answer!” Twilight started to rub a hind leg against the desk, her horn glowing  as she lifted a piece of chalk to write on the schoolroom chalkboard. “This is what I want Cheerilee!” On the board, she scrawled the words “YOUR BODY!” and then gave a seductive wink. “You and me Cheerilee, right here, right now. The two of us, grinding together, feeling the heat. C’mon…” she leaned closer, knocking over a pot of ink as she lounged on the desk and opened her legs. “What possible reason could you have for saying no?”

“Um, ‘scuse me!” Scootaloo’s hoof shot up as she chewed on a pencil. “But do we need to be writing this down? Is there gonna be a test?”

Twilight rolled over to stare at the classroom full of small fillies staring at her. She rolled back to look at Cheerilee, whose own face was set in a rictus of anger. Twilight flapped her tail about seductively. “We… could do it without using naughty words?”

“Out!” Cheerilee’s hoof pointed towards the open door, her voice trembling slightly. “This is a school Twilight, not a brothel! You are not a teacher and you certainly aren’t a student!”

Twilight slowly slid off the desk and trotted shamefacedly towards the door, her mind working overtime. She was sure Cheerilee would have been a dead cert for some erotic fun. If only there was some way she could convince her to have wild passionate sex! As she left the schoolhouse, she brightened up, as she was struck by the best idea she’d had all week!

***

“Now class…” Cheerilee tapped the board as a dozen pair of eyes swivelled to look at her with rapt attention. “Who can tell me what five plus two is?”

“Ohh! ME ME ME!”

All the fillies in the room turned to scowl at Twilight, who was jammed behind a small desk wearing an extremely tight fitting school uniform and enthusiastically thrusting her hoof into the air. “The answer is seven, miss!”

“Well done Twilight,” Cheerilee muttered, narrowing her eyes at her friend. “Maybe you should give some of the other… students a chance. Students who… aren’t fully grown adults that have already passed through the educational system.”

“I guess I just like learning so much that I had to enrol again! It turns out there’s no law that says I can’t!” Twilight blushed, then loosened her tie and unbuttoned her shirt another notch. “Boy teacher, it is hot in here! I’m feeling pretty hot. I hope I don’t…” she fluttered her eyelashes “take it all off.”

“Well, we don’t actually have a uniform policy and nopony else is wearing clothes, so knock yourself out.” Cheerilee turned back to the chalkboard. “Right, Scootaloo, can you tell me what the square root of nine is?”

Scootaloo started to open her mouth when Twilight sprang up again. “It’s three! Three miss!”

“Twilight!” Cheerilee snapped. “Stop that this instant!”

“Oh, have I been naughty? Am I a naughty little filly?” Twilight cantered out to the front of the class, swaying her hips from side to side and lowering her forehooves onto the floor to raise her ass in the direction of Cheerilee. “I think you’ll have to punish me, miss. I think I’m a bad filly who needs a good hard caning!”

Cheerilee was not moved by this display. “Get back to your seat, Twilight,” she hissed. “Besides, I don’t have a cane.”

“I do!” Twilight slid a long cane from one of her knee-high socks. “Perhaps you could put me in detention later, we could work on my grades, if you know what I mean.” She gave a sultry smile, and then quickly whispered: “I mean have sex!”

“Look Twilight…” Cheerilee scowled. “I am not having sex with you. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever! Now, stop making fun of the educational establishment and get back to your seat before I do something I regret! And that something will not be sex-related!”

“Fine!” Twilight threw back her head with a huff. “I’ll just have to  find somepony else to practise my sex on!” With that, she stormed out the door and slammed it.

Cheerilee stared at the closed door for a minute in silence, before shouting after the departing Twilight: “The bell had not gone, young miss!”

***

Boxxy Brown knocked on the library door again and consulted his clipboard. The message had been passed to his office by a rather nervous looking dragon that there was an urgent delivery required, but no explanation as to what needed to be delivered. The dragon had just kept repeating the word “sorry” again and again.

“Hello?” he gave another  rap on the door with his hoof in annoyance.  If this was a prank, there would be hell to pay. Of course if he was met with a gigantic pile of books that needed moving, there would also be hell to pay. Hopefully it was just a small package that needed transporting.

“Come in.”  The door creaked open with a flash of magic and a voice called from inside, placing a rather strange inflection on the word ‘come’. Boxxy shrugged and marched into the library. He was not a pony who liked to stand on ceremony, and there was little in life that could shock him.

“What the hay?” Boxxy choked out as he took in the sight that lay before him. All the curtains had been closed, and the interior of the library was lit by candles scattered all around, casting a soft glow over every nook and cranny. In the middle of the room, lying on a bed of roses was Twilight Sparkle, spread-eagled in a fluffy nighty.

“Oh, hello!” Twilight lifted her head and gave a wink. “Oh how awkward, you just caught me napping in my nighty in the middle of the library like I always do every morning.” She slowly parted her legs as she licked her lips. “And now a big strong delivery pony has come in. Anything could happen.”

Boxxy stared at Twilight and gulped. “No. No it couldn’t,” he growled as he hesitantly trotted forwards. He was nothing if not professional, and he did have a job to do. “So what do you want delivered?” He started to look about the room for any parcel that he could grab and make a run for it.

“Oh yes, tee hee!” Twilight gently called back, pronouncing the ‘tee hee’ a bit too clearly. “I have a very special package in mind. I want you to deliver your cock. And I want you to deliver it to…” she started to rub between her legs. “My love hole!”

“Right, Mylovehole, that’s outside Phillydelphia.” Boxxy turned around smoothly and attempted to make a smooth break for the door. It was in vain – with a sparkle of purple magic, the door slammed shut and a heavy bolt drew across it.

“I think you misunderstand!” Twilight fluttered her eyelashes, nudging open her nighty a bit more to reveal her smooth belly. “I want you to deliver your cock to me. I paid for a delivery service, and I’m going to get it! I have the contract right here!” She waved a scrap of paper, which Boxxy vaguely recalled signing for the little dragon. “You said you’d deliver anything!”

“Fine!” he sighed, throwing his clipboard to one side. “But I warn you that I’m not really feeling in the mood.”

Twilight’s horn glowed, and yanked Boxxy closer to her. “I’ll soon fix that!” she mumbled, turning around to rub her hindquarters against the poor delivery pony. “Oooh yeah, you want it, you want me bad!”

Boxxy stared down at the purple pony ass rubbing against his crotch. “Not… really…” he coughed, unsure of where to look. Twilight was grinding away hard but nothing was happening.

“Yes, yes, take me, deliver your cock into me!” Twilight moaned out, a hoof between her legs as she tried to guide Boxxy’s flaccid member into her. “I’m the best sexer!”

Boxxy gave a deep sigh as Twilight unsuccessfully mashed his member against herself. “Yes, yes you are,” he muttered, reaching across to an interesting book on trains which was lying on a nearby table. He picked it up, resting it on Twilight’s back as he started to read.

“Yesss, I am so amazing!” Twilight’s tongue lolled out as she bucked harder against Boxxy. Boxxy’s member still wasn’t doing anything, just hanging limply as she bounced against it, but Twilight didn’t seem to notice. “Deliver into me, post your package!”

Boxxy slammed the book shut and turned away. “Yeah yeah, recipient wasn’t home.” Gripping a pen in his mouth, he quickly scribbled on a “SORRY YOU WEREN’T IN” slip and shoved it into Twilight’s slit. “It’ll be at the depot.”

As Boxxy left the house, Twilight lounged into her bed of roses. “This… is really, really painful,” she muttered, as the thorns pressed into her back.

***

“Lucky, you’ve won!”

Lucky halted in his tracks as he saw Twilight bounding towards him at the town square. “I’ve won?” he gasped, mouth hanging open in delight.

“You’ve won!” Twilight took his forehooves in hers and began dancing around and around. Lucky started dancing too. “You’ve won Lucky, you’ve won!”

“I’ve won!” Lucky cried. “I’ve won, I’ve won!” his eyes started to brim with tears of joy. “I’ve won!” He paused. “Won what?”

“You won the special Ponyville Lottery!” Twilight cried out happily.

“I won the special Ponyville Lottery!” Lucky gasped, half hugging Twilight. “I… didn’t even realise I entered that. Or that there was such a thing...”

“You won first prize!” Twilight hugged Lucky back, still dancing. “The first prize is a passionate bout of sex with me!”

“Yes!” Lucky shouted, punching the air, then he stopped punching the air. “Ah… wait, is that the first prize or last place booby prize?”

“It’s the first prize!” Twilight continued to dance, though Lucky had now stopped, and was standing still, ashen faced. “Isn’t that amazing, there’s no time to lose!”

“Yeah, is there a cash alternative?” Lucky started to look around for an escape route as Twilight pressed herself closer.

“No!” Twilight whispered huskily. “Isn’t that awesome?”

“Oh look is that the time…” Lucky croaked, stepping backwards. “It’s time for… my swimming lessons.” With that, he leaped backwards into the town fountain and started to splash about.

Twilight growled. “Fine. Fine. I see how it is….” She looked about as the ponies of Ponyville continued about their lives. Surely there was somepony she could practise her sex on so that the Princess would pick her that night! Surely there was some way…

She clopped her hooves in the air. The perfect idea popped into her mind!

Moments later, she was at Carrot Top’s farm, furiously digging a hole in the mud. Once the hole was large enough, she climbed into it, sticking her tail into the air as she covered herself with earth. She giggled to herself, bursting with pride at the clever trick! Carrot Top would come along and mistake her tail for a carrot and tug on it, then she would emerge from the ground and they would make sweet love! Nothing could go wrong!

***

“She’s alive!”

Twilight groaned, opening her eyes, her vision swimming as she saw a gaggle of faces peering over her. As her sight cleared, she could see a grumpy Rainbow Dash passing Rarity a ten bit note.

“What… what happened?” Twilight clutched her head as she sat up suddenly, taking in her surroundings. She was in a hospital ward, the bleep of a heart monitor filling her ears. She looked at her hoof, it was covered in mud.

“You’re lucky you were found when you were!” a doctor in a lab coat piped up as he made notes on a clipboard. “You had passed out, buried in mud.”

“Oh…” Twilight patted herself down to make sure she was all there. “I was disguising myself as a carrot so Carrot Top would pull me up and have sex with me so I’d be better at sex and Rainbow Dash wouldn’t steal Princess Celestia from me…” She gave a little wave at Carrot Top, who was sitting by her bedside looking mortified.

“It’s three months till carrot season!” Carrot Top whispered. “You’re lucky we found you before I drove the rotavator across the field!”

“Fine!” Twilight crossed her forehooves grumpily. “Well, will you have sex with me now so the Princess knows I am the best at sex?”

Carrot Top looked at Rainbow Dash nervously, then back to Twilight “…no?” she offered hesitantly.

“Look Twilight, ah know what this is about.” At the foot of the bed was Applejack, who shook her head grimly. “It’s about tonight’s event, well, you won’t have fun if you go, we jus’ think you’re takin’ it a bit too far an’….”

“I see!” Twilight muttered darkly, pulling various wires from her body, causing the monitor system to go into overdrive. “I see how it is. You want Princess Celestia to yourself! Well, she’s mine, you hear? All mine!” With that, Twilight galloped away from her bed and leapt out the nearest window with a smash of glass.

Rainbow Dash’s head peeked out the window after Twilight. “Do… do you think we should tell her this is five stories up?” she muttered back into the room.

Rarity watched Twilight’s plummet to the ground. “I think she knows.”

***

Twilight could feel the palatable buzz as she arrived at the town hall that night. Despite her injuries, she had managed to pull herself into her costume, and now strutted along confident that she would be the one the Princess wanted to make love to. From her studded biker jacket, ripped stockings and neon miniskirt to her crotchboob tassels, she was the epitome of 'classy slut'. Not too slutty, but not too classy either. There was no way that Princess Celestia could ignore her.

Twilight looked up at the huge banner above the town hall, which read “PONYVILLE MOLESTATION CELEBRATION  - TONIGHT!” “This is it, Twilight,” she muttered to herself. “Soon you will know the sweet love of Princess Celestia! Soon you will be complete!” With that, she stepped inside.

The first thing that struck Twilight was the amount of ponies in the hall. It seemed that the entire adult population of Ponyville was there, talking and laughing and catching up on gossip. She pushed her way to the front stage, where Fluttershy was standing before a large object covered with a cloth, eager to be at the forefront of the celebrations.

The second thing that struck Twilight was how little the rest of Ponyville had prepared for the event. She seemed to be the only pony who had dressed for the occasion; everypony else had either not bothered to put on anything special, or was wearing boring, normal clothing. They were all staring at Twilight with obvious jealously. Twilight gave a wiggle of her ripped-stocking-clad hindquarters to rub in how prepared she was. Getting the Princess would be easily!

“Princess Celestia, Princess Celestia!” Twilight grinned with glee as the Princess took to the stage, leaping on after her. She wiggled her ass hard at the Princess, who just smiled back.

“My faithful student!” Celestia beamed. “How… interesting you look!”

“It’s all for you Princess!” Twilight grinned. “I can’t wait to begin!”

“And begin we shall!” Celestia turned to the crowd. At a single cough, everypony instantly fell silent. “Fillies and gentlecolts!” Celestia announced, throwing out a hoof. “It brings me great pleasure to be here tonight for this event. I want to thank you all for being here, and especially Fluttershy for making this all happen!”

Twilight grinned at Fluttershy, bursting with pride as she shuffled nearer to Celestia. She wanted to be right by her side the moment the orgy kicked off. Oddly enough Fluttershy looked nervous, though Twilight imagined this was probably because Fluttershy wasn’t as good as sexing as she was.

“…So without further ado,” Celestia continued, nodding to Fluttershy, “I hereby open this celebration of the Ponyville Mole Station!”

Fluttershy whipped the cloth away. Underneath it was a tiny model railway station, with a small train pulling out. On board the train were several moles who were waving to the assembled ponies. “Now everypony,” Fluttershy called. “The mole train is pulling carriages full of dirt because they are moles, so you might get dirty or filthy!”

“Here’s the sauce!” Applejack called out, pushing a trolley laden with sauce bottles through the crowd. “It’s Granny Smith’s pear sauce recipe! Family tradition for the Mole Station Celebration!”

“And here’s the giant cocks!” Rarity followed Applejack, hauling some large roosters on her back. “I can’t believe Twilight thought that cocks were chickens!” she shouted, rolling her eyes in an exaggerated fashion.

Twilight watched numbly as the train started to chug along the stage. She looked down at her biker jacket and crotchboob tassels, and up at Princess Celestia.

“That’s a very interesting outfit, Twilight,” Celestia smiled. “Are you in a band? Also I got a letter saying that you'd been skipping school, I'm sure that must be some mistake."

“…Yes…” Twilight mumbled, feeling all eyes in the room on her. “I’m in a punk band…” She fell quiet as an awkward silence descended upon the hall, shuffling her hooves slightly. “Well, I guess I’ll be off…” she trotted across the stage to a large cannon that was sitting at the back, climbing into it. A pony lit the fuse and with a roar the cannon exploded, blasting Twilight through a hole in the roof and across Ponyville.

Celestia stared at Twilight’s departing form for a moment, before smiling at Fluttershy and kicking over the Mole Station. “Well, thank goodness for that!”

Applejack wiped her forehead. “If ah had to be near pears again ah’d puke!” She nudged Rarity. “Also, for tha’ record, cocks are chickens!” Rarity just glowered back.

“I’m here, I’m here!” From the back of the stage burst Rainbow Dash, wearing a costume that was covered in strange transparent tube-like objects. “Molest me !”

Princess Celestia whipped Rainbow Dash up in her hooves and gave a wide grin. “I declare this year’s Molestation Celebration open! Quick thinking ponies, you saved the day!”

Everypony cheered. It was going to be the best night ever!