Unamused

by Inkyarn

Rating: everyone
Tags: Lyra, Comedy, Bon-Bon, Derpy Hooves, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1410

Lyra is tired of all the pranks. She is unamused.

What happens when a few too many pranks go a bit too far? You get a very disgruntled mint unicorn that's ready to fight.

Published 2014-08-23 05:10:05 UTC
Last updated 2014-08-23 05:10:05 UTC

The Great War

The day was sluggish and slow. Pegasi darted across the sky and filled it with an endless expanse of dingy grey clouds. A few low rumbles of thunder managed to break through but the storm was young; it had not the courage to let its voice roar. As the day progressed and the last little cloud was rounded up, it finally began to mature. It ventured out with a drop or two that had everypony down below looking up. A short sprinkle followed and after it, the first sign of lightning. Down in Ponyville, the result was slow. Ponies reacted in that meandering small-town way they do as shops closed up and ponies wandered back into their homes. Though the process slow, by the time the clouds grew into a shower, there was only one pony left in the streets.

She sat quietly at a patio table. The umbrella above her pattered gently in the rain and her keen amber eyes watched hundreds of little droplets spatter off the side and hit the ground. With the pitter pattering all around her and the forest of raindrops just ahead, she stood and immersed herself in the world it created. Things grew wet and slippery and a faint gray haze overtook the corners of her vision. When she looked up, all she could see were the fuzzy clouds above her head. Her ears fell back and she slowly brought her chin from the table. The clouds rumbled ahead and the rain drummed against the dirt road, kicking dust into the air. The earth churned and permeated the air with its warm scent. The mare took all this in with one long, deep breath.

Lyra picked herself from the floor and drew her hoodie close around herself. There was a break in the rain, a slight hesitation as the world prepared for the mint colored unicorn. A gold haze silhouetted her horn and lifted an umbrella from beside her. She held it above her and stepped into the fray. With a snap, the umbrella opened.

And unloaded a glob of custard pudding all over her.

Lyra pitched back, giving a shout. She threw the umbrella down and wiped cream from her stinging amber eyes. Short curses rang from her lips as she cowered under the safety of the table umbrella. Yellow spots filled her vision as she tried to blink away the little pinpricks that stabbed her eyes and sent her head throbbing. Between them, some distance away, a flash of pink and blue disappeared behind a bush. It was followed immediately by a familiar gray face that popped up and dove back down. Girly snickers came from that direction. Lyra wiped away more gunk and stared toward the giggling shrub. Her ears fell back, dripping pudding over her shoulders and under her sweater. Minutes ticked by before her eyes flicked down to the umbrella. It lay open on the floor, still oozing as the rain washed the pudding away and collected in the middle. Another half of a second passed before the unicorn felt her frown begin. She dove out into the rain, hardly noticing the drumming against her spine and mane as she marched toward the bush. With a snort, she separated the branches and found two startled little ponies on the other side.

"What did you do to my umbrella?"

Bon Bon gave a start, leaping to her hooves. Derpy took to the air, her cheeks flushing with color. "Lyra, wh-what are you doing around here? In the... The rain." Plastic grins covered their faces. Beads of sweat broke across Bon Bon's cream colored brow.

"I was enjoying the weather." Lyra stepped around to stand before them. She crossed her hooves, brushing a strand of white hair from her face.

Derpy lit beside her friend and the two exchanged glances. Color filled the two of them and the pegasus stepped forward. "Wow, Lyra," she turned to giggle at Bon Bon, a smile barely contained on her face, "Cream is a good color on you." The last word was hardly out before the two of them fell into fits. Their eyes screwed shut and their muzzles crinkled. They threw themselves to the floor, laughing and tearing while the joke sat above them with a frown.

A cloud above thundered, signaling the end to their bout. Bon Bon sat up and wiped a tear from her cheek. "Oh come on, Lyra. Lighten up," her brow rose and she nudged Derpy, "we don't mean to be pudding you in a bad mood!" And they were off again.

"Seriously, though," Derpy was the first to stand back up, panting ever so slightly. Lyra raised a brow, her lips pursed. "No need to cusstard."

Bon Bon rocked back, stomping a hoof. "Wait, wait, I got one. Maybe she needs to-" A wad of mud slapped the candy colored mare across the muzzle. She was thrown back, slamming into the earth. Derpy let out a short laugh before another ball of goop struck her. The two looked up to see Lyra's muddy hooves shaping another ball.

"What was that for?" Derpy rubbed her dirty cheek, sitting up.

A smile grew across a mint coated face. "Well, if you guys really want to muddle the situation."

Bon Bon threw herself up and lobbed a mud ball back at the unicorn. It was easily dodged and a flurry of attacks were thrown right back. Derpy flew by and scooped up as much mud as she could, dumping in over the other two. "Get her!" A temporary team up between Lyra and Bon Bon set out to ground Derpy in mud. The pegasus was brought down and they stood victoriously over her. The next instant, mud splattered across Bon Bon's cheek. She chased her assailant down and tackled her to the ground. They slid through water and dirt until they rolled over onto the grass. "You'll never take me alive!" Lyra's horn lit up. Before her spell could cast, Derpy rammed into Bon Bon. They went tumbling over the lawn, their drenched, dirty coats flashing through the rain.

"Give it up, sweets," Derpy laughed, standing over her foe, "You're out matched." The earth pony slid out from beneath Derpy and galloped back to the road. Her hooves sprayed dirt out over the patio as she skid to a stop.

"You'll never match my mud throwing skills!"

"You've stumbled into the presence of a master." Derpy followed and scooped up another mud ball.

A small cough came from nearby. The two looked over to see a wall of amber-tinged brown. Lyra stood before it, her brow raised and her grin full. "Ponies, please." The amber silhouette disappeared and the mare stepped back. A wave of mud crashed down over the mares, washing them back onto the lawn.

Bon Bon looked up from where she lay. Rain pattered on the floor and the buildings and the umbrella stands and everything nearby. It clung to her muddy fur and tingled her skin. A few feet away was Derpy, her wings heavy and drenched. The two of them exchanged a look and glanced up at Lyra. The unicorn trotted toward them. Then the three of them broke out into laughter. Lyra walked over and helped her friend to her hooves. They smiled warmly and went to grab their derp eyed friend.

"Hey!"

Everypony looked up to see an old yellow stallion. He leaned out of a window sill, glaring down at the mares, and the carnage they stood in.

"You're all in big trouble, Somepony's gotta fix my lawn!" The three looked around, eyes wide. The grass was heavy and matted, weighed down with dirt and rocks. Huge chunks of earth were scooped out of the road and lay scattered about the garden and the patio. The chairs and umbrellas were coated in sand and dust and rocks, a few of them splintered and broken. They collectively looked back up to Mr. Cake. "Fix this!"

Lyra opened her mouth but the other two beat her to it. Derpy's wings snapped open and launched her up into the sky as she veered away. Bon Bon sloshed through the mud, galloping away.

Lyra's mouth hung agape as she watched them go. She found herself alone under Mr. Cake's furious glare. He shouted again at her and threw down a tattered old mop. The mare sighed and scooped it up. "Horse mud."