Chains and Ladders

Ahriman shook his head side to side as he downed the draconequus, leaving his tail hanging out of the side of his mouth. With an undignified snort, the Mainyuan beast sat down to digest his hefty meal. He felt Discord’s body put up a struggle within his belly before his venom stilled his meal.

Ahriman licked his lips in anticipation. With Discord digested, Ahriman would be whole again. After being fragmented for so long, Ahriman was giddy with excitement. Closing his eyes, the destructive god forced himself to the mindscape.

“Well this is rather drab.” Discord sighed at the dark mindscape that greeted him. He snapped his fingers, trying to summon a flashlight, but nothing happened. Ahriman’s laughter echoed around the black expanse. Discord wasn’t impressed by Ahriman’s lack of imagination.

“Is this not home for you?” Ahriman’s voice hissed past Discord’s head, causing the chaotic deity to flinch. Come to think of it, this was rather similar to how it had been when Discord was trapped in stone. Suppressing a shudder, Discord tapped his finger against his chin.

“Most certainly not. There’s a distinct lack of flair.” Discord grinned madly as Ahriman’s serpentine form manifested before him. The feathered serpent pulsed with light against the blackness.

“You seem awful smug for someone who is about to die.” Ahriman’s pupils narrowed as he regarded his nemesis. For Discord to be so nonchalant made Ahriman nervous.

“Who, moi?” Discord chuckled “I’m not about to die.”

“IS THAT SO?” Ahriman boomed as he slashed his tail toward Discord, sending Discord flying. As he skidded to a halt, Discord bounced back up, a smile still on his face.

“It was awful easy for you to eat me, don’t you think?” Discord’s smirk drew a prolonged hiss from Ahriman.

“I must admit; I am curious to see what you plan.” Ahriman snaked forward as Discord stood tall.

“You really should be more careful what you put in your mouth. You're almost like a child.” Discord chuckled as Ahriman froze. The feathered serpent began to writhe in agony as it spat venom at Discord, who deftly stepped aside.

“You bastard!” Ahriman coiled into a tight ball as he shuddered “What did you do?” Ahriman groaned as his muscles loosened, causing him to fall to the ground.

“Tsk tsk!” Discord waggled his finger at the snarling serpent. “Mind your manners, Mainyua!” Ahriman continued to groan as his wings flapped against the floor of the mindscape. Suddenly, he convulsed wildly, arching his head and making gagging motions.

“You see, Ahriman,” Discord continued “you see, it turns out that the Zebras have a long memory. Especially since they keep reincarnating their main shaman. Now, as the trickster god, I’ve got a little respect from them. When I asked for a magical emetic, I got it.” Discord sighed as Ahriman began choking, while he held up an empty bottle he had hidden as fake tooth.

“That...that potion can’t be doing this… I am a god!” Ahriman struggled as he continued to cough. No mere poison could be doing this to him!

“Turns out that being reincarnated for thousands of years makes the shaman rather good at potion crafting.” Discord sneered. “You were once Lotan, and Lotan was bound to this world and the things grown here.” Ahriman hissed at the mention of his old name. “So I did a little digging, and found this wonderful plant that was used to make Ishat cough up her nephew, Ba’al Hadad, after she ate him during the Elohimi internecine wars. It happens to named after the Elohim god of crops; your father Dagon. I’m a bit surprised you weren’t familiar with it.” Discord flinched as Ahriman emitted a shrill scream. Watching in a mixture of interest and disgust, Discord saw that Sobek’s crocodilian form had been disgorged. The Elohim was unconscious from his ordeal, but seemed no worse for the wear otherwise.

“Dagon’s flower… I thought it extinct... with his death...” Ahriman gasped as another bout of convulsions overtook him. Discord nodded. Ishat had revolted against the rule of her nephew, the storm god, seducing him then swallowing him whole when he slept. Ba’al’s father, Dagon, was understandably upset. Pretending to kneel before his elder sister, he secretly snuck a small dose of a poisonous flower he’d created into her wine. When she took a triumphant swig, she ingested the poison, and after spitting up Ba’al (and their newborn son, Molech) she was killed by the storm god using a bolt of lightning. Molech took her spot as the god of fire, and Ba’al Hadad took his rightful place as King, while his deputy Lucifer looked on. Dagon didn’t really get much reward, but he did get the flower named after him. Though, considering he was the one who made it, that wasn’t much of an honor, at least in Discord's estimation.

“Nope! The Zebras cultivate the thing in underground caverns. Turns out that when prepared right, it’s a delicious delicacy. But when mixed wrong, it becomes a deadly poison.” Ahriman spat out a dark figure, causing Discord to snort in disgust before he continued to lecture “Of course, it can’t kill you. But it’ll take you a bit to get it out of your system.” Discord looked at the new prone form, his dislike evident in the expression on his face. He had been hoping that this one wouldn’t come out; but he supposed it would help make the lucky seven to oppose Ahriman. Provided it would cooperate, of course.

The prone form, unlike Sobek, was somewhat conscious. It gurgled a little bit, unable to form coherent words, before slipping back into unconsciousness. Discord sent a silent prayer to whoever had prevented the figure from healing enough to speak. Discord had enough to deal with in the form of Ahriman, who flailed wildly. Discord found that he had to take several steps backwards to avoid being crushed by the writhing beast.

Ahriman snarled wildly as the dreamscape began to fragment. Discord snapped his fingers and was pleased to note that a top hat appeared on his head. Removing said hat, Discord took a bow as he slipped away from Ahriman. So far, so good. Two god-like beings saved, and one big one sickened. After a bad start, Discord mused, things were finally looking up.

His blood chilled, however, as he heard mocking laughter behind him.