The Magical Adventures of Fluffy Sunshine Cuddles the Third!

by Spangle

Rating: everyone
Tags:
Length: 766

It's up to our super alicorn princess to save the day! Satirically! Yay~!

Fluffy Sunshine Cuddles wasn't like other ponies. She was an alicorn! And a princess! When dark forces come to threaten Equestria, only she can turn them away… with magic! And love! And friendship! And… booze? Find out!

WARNING: Satire written while author was drinking and listening to techno music with nothing better to do.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-08-07 04:31:57 UTC

So Fluffy!

Once upon a time in the magical land of Equestria...

There was a magical alicorn pony princess named Fluffy Sunshine Cuddles the Third. Her foalhood was very sad. Her parents died and she was picked on and she never quite felt like she fit it. But she was also super special and she knew it, so those things didn't bother her very much. Sure, she missed her parents and thought it would be nice to have friends, but she knew those things would come in time.

When she was older, she met Twilight and her friends, and they could tell that she was special so they took her into their circle of friendship. Everything was super happy and awesome. Fluffy Sunshine Cuddles the Third was even given her own castle and kingdom by the princesses, Celestia and Luna because they knew just how super important and special she was and that she would one day save all of Equestria. There was even a prophecy about it and everything, It said:

"One day, super dark and scary forces of evil will come to Equestria and try to control everypony and take their magic, but a super awesome pony princess name Fluffy Sunshine Cuddles the Third will be the only one immune to their magic stealingness and control and save all the ponies forever and ever!"

Then, that dark day came upon Equestria. The dark forces were like changelings, but with super awesome powers like the ones that Tirek had and they were completely unstoppable. The Elements of Harmony tried to stop their invasion, but they only fed their magical consumption abilities. So, all the princesses gave their magic to Fluffy Sunshine Cuddles before it was too late because they knew she was immune to the dark force's powers.

The bad guys went throughout all of Equestria, stealing magic and getting more powerful and enslaving all the ponies, even Celestia and Luna as the conquered their new kingdom. Then, they finally reached the Kingdom of Cuddles the Third. The entrance to the kingdom was a super long bridge, upon which stood their ruler: Fluffy Sunshine Cuddles the Third.

This was a problem because, unlike the changelings, these bad guys couldn't fly because they didn't have wings. They just used long range magic stealing to get all the pegasus magic. But this bridge was super long, too long for their abilities, so the last haven for ponies was the Cuddles the Third's Kingdom.

As she stood before the innumerable masses of the evil magic stealing bad guys upon the epically long stone bridge to her kingdom, she taunted her opponents by saying, "The only way to cross this bridge is to beat me in combat!" like the Scotsman from Samurai Jack.

Infuriated by her defiance and their inability to steal her super awesome alicorn magic, the changeling and Tirek-like bad guys charged Fluffy Sunshine Cuddles the Third, but she didn't even flinch. She just closed her eyes as the massive wave of evil rushed towards her. Right before the first super evil unbeatable bad guy was about to land the first blow, her eyes opened all super glowy and white-like and all of the bad guys were sent flying backwards. With every step she took, the ground shook and the stone bridge cracked.

"I AM FLUFFY SUNSHINE CUDDLES THE THIRD," she said.

"I WILL SAVE ALL MY PONY FRIENDS AND EQUESTRIA FROM YOU'RE OPPRESSIVE RULE OF EVIL. THERE IS NO HOPE FOR YOU, SIMPLY GIVE UP AND I PROMISE TO MAKE YOUR END A QUICK AND PAINLESS ONE."

Like all bad guys, they simply got mad and yelled as they rushed the super awesome alicorn princess.

"VERY WELL," she said as she sent this multicolored massive beam towards their army that was so very nicely confined to the bridge. The beam encompassed the entire bridge, wiping every single bad guy out and releasing all the magic they had stolen and removing the control they had taken over the ponies of Equestria.

Then there was this parade and ceremony thing with Celestia, Luna, and Twilight. Even Cadance was there. They all decided it was better to leave their powers with Fluffy Sunshine Cuddles the Third and let her rule over all of Equestria. They had ruled their kingdoms long enough and wanted a break. Besides, after saving everypony, Fluffy was the most loved princess ever and ruled over all of Equestria for all of eternity and no more bad guys ever threatened the love and happiness of ponies ever again.

THE END.

LOL I DON'T EVEN KNOW.