Thank god I have no school today. The date is 08/08/14, Friday. First, let me tell you my name and a bit about myself. My name is Julian Sinor (Sin-or), I’m 16 years old, born 22/04/98. I’m about 6’2 with long-ish brown hair and dark brown eyes.
So today instead of having school, I’m on my way to meet my older brother, whom I haven’t seen in a couple of months. His name is Thomas Sinor, 19 years old, born 26/04/95. He’s about 6’3 with short black hair and dark brown eyes. Oh, we both also have small beards and mustaches.
As I pull up at his house – I have an L plate – I kiss my mum goodbye and get out. I walk to the front door and knock, looking back at my mum I wave goodbye before she drives off. A few seconds later my older brother opens the front door. “He Jules what’s going on? It’s been a while!” He exclaims as he extends his hand.
“Yeah man no shit. I’ve been stuck with a fuck-ton of year 11 work, so I haven’t really been able to come over. Sorry about that man.” I extend my hand towards his. Intent on giving him a well-over-due handshake.
“Nah man it’s all good. Anyway, come on in-” Before Tom could finish his sentence, I grip his hand tightly, and before we know it, we’re sucked into some sort of wormhole thing. Now, wormholes aren’t technically supposed to be on Earth, so I honestly have NO FUCKING CLUE as to how we ended up in EQUESTRIA of all places.
Anyway, I’m getting ahead of myself. Being flung through time and space may sound fun. But holy FUCK it hurts like a bitch! I mean think about it, travelling light-years in mere seconds with nothing but your body. No futuristic spaceship that can somehow protect your body from the harsh coldness of space. Don’t even get me started on how we managed to survive that ordeal but I digress.
We landed with a soft thud and a few groans here and there, as we tried to get our spinning heads straight. I groaned again and sat up with a hand to my throbbing head. My brother still on the ground in pain. I open my eyes and look around. Now bear in mind that I was just standing in front of my brother’s front door, so imagine my surprise when I was standing in front of a large pair of double-doors with two unicorn-pony guards on each side, staring at us with shock. I do a double-take, wait… PONIES?! What the fuck just happened? I swear if I didn’t drink or do drugs I would think I’m extremely wasted while tripping massive-fucking-balls. I think to myself
“Well… Some serious shit has gone down.” I say quietly as I lean down slightly and whisper to my brother. “Oi dude, some fucking weird shit as happened. You’d better get the fuck up.” I say, as he slowly rises off the floor, in the same manner as I did.
“Ugh… My head.” He opens his eyes and drops his hand from his head. He looks at me standing in front of him, and then to the double-doors, then to the guards. Eyes open wide with shock he shouts “What the fuck!?”
The guards instantly react and point their spears at us. Haha, primitive. One of them shouts out something, I can’t make it out because his sudden shouting hurts my brain, and it appears to have hurt Tom as well. A few seconds later some other guards from behind the large doors burst through with their spears pointed at us.
I stare on in shock, before letting out a bellowing laugh. The laugh is so loud and sudden that everyone present – including Tom – stare on in shock. The laugh is in-fact, sounding so menacingly that the ponies lower their spears slightly and look at me with fear.
“I’ve finally fucking lost it! INSANITY! FUCKING PONIES! Why! OH GOD WHY?! Am I stuck WITH PONIES!? OF ALL THINGS!? FOR FUCK’S SAKE BRAIN WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” I shout out as loud as possible, startling the ponies and my brother.
He covers his ears quickly and looks at me in annoyance. “Dude keep it the fuck down. My head hurts like a bitch!” He responds.
“Haha, fair enough. Sorry bro.” I give an apologetic look towards him, as the guards now look at us with confusion.
A voice shouts out from behind the doors. “What is the meaning of this?!” A pompous looking pony with blond hair, a horn and wearing – what looks to be – the top part of a tuxedo. He opens the doors and walks through them, looks at the guards and says “What is with all the ruckus?! Don’t you barbarians know how to keep silent?!” He shouts, which instantly make me and my brother block our ears.
“We’re sorry Prince Blueblood, we won’t let it hap-” I interrupt him after I hear the word “Blueblood”
“Keep it the fuck down would you? Jesus man, you’re some fucking snob if you’re worried about a little noise.” I respond to this pompous little shit’s question. Now, you’re probably wandering what my brother is doing at this point. Well let’s just say that he’s so shock he’s not even moving… Like… Not even a little. You might also be wandering how I know Blueblood. Well I used to watch MLP:FiM. That was until of course, I found the glorious thing called Anime.
Anyway, Blueblood looks at me in shock and starts screaming for his “Aunties”. Not knowing who the fuck his aunties could be, I just cover my STILL HURTING EARS. My brain still fucking hurts it’s so annoying!
Anyway… A few seconds later, a tall white pony with wings and a horn enters through the doors. She looks at Blueblood who is pointing at me and my brother – whom at this point at even larger eyes and a more shocked face – with a frightened expression. Princess Celestia looks to us with wide eyes. “Oh my…” She whispers softly.
As those words left her mouth, my older brother finally snapped and started yelling. The guards pointed their spears at him, Blueblood and Celestia recoil back a little, and I simply cover my ears. “Guards! Kill that monstrous creature!” Blueblood yells.
Before the guards can move I uncover my ears, kneel down so I’m eye-level with my screaming brother. And promptly slap him across the face a few times. “Shut! The! Fuck! Up!” With each word, I slap him. And so, he promptly shuts the fuck up, and looks at me with an angry expression.
“Dude what the fuck?! You’re seeing these horse things as well yeah!? I’m not the only one!?” He shouts worryingly. “I mean come on! They’re talking and everything!”
“No I’m not, but you still need to calm the fuck down man. Your panicking is not helping anyone.” I explain as simply as possible, just in case his panicking mind isn’t able to comprehend simple sentences. “And yes, they are in fact talking. Now, take some deep breaths and calm down. You’re not thinking straight.” After a few moments of deep breathing he looks at me a lot calmer than before. I stand back up and turn around to face the ponies. The guards ready themselves, Celestia looks on with interest and Blueblood looks on with panicking fear.
“What are you waiting for!? Kill them!” He shouts. My ears are no longer hurting so I have no need to cover them. The guards move forward slightly as I raise up my hands in self-defence, while looking at Celestia for help.
“Stop where you are.” She orders them. The guards hesitantly stop their approach while Blueblood looks shocked at his “auntie”
“What are you doing?! These beats need to be detained!” He shouts. Man this guy… I can’t wait till he gets what’s coming to him. I think. This motherfucker has only been here a short time and I already want to kill him.
“There will be no such thing. In case you haven’t noticed Nephew, they aren’t just beats. And they have done nothing wrong that I am aware of. Therefore there is no need to detain them.” She explains calmly, while adding extra emphasis on nephew. Blueblood still looks at her with shock and fear.
“But… But-“
“No buts Blueblood. Now, you and the guards may leave. I wish to speak with these two interesting creatures in the throne room.” She orders.
“But Princess!” One of the guards shouts.
“Go!” She orders again, but with more authority. As the guards and Blueblood leave – all guards except the two stationed at the door – Celestia turns to me and says “Please forgive everypony, they mean no harm. Now please, follow me.” She turns to open the doors and walks through them.
I look to my brother and offer my hand. He looks reluctantly at me but soon takes my hand. I pull him up and we both walk through the doors. “It’s alright man, these ponies are friendly. Remember I used to watch MLP? Yeah well these are the same ponies.” I explain to him.
He simply looks at me in shock and whispers: “No fucking way man. That’s impossible!”
I shake my head and laugh. “Yeah well get used to it. If this is anything like the show, then lots of things will be “impossible.”” I explain while chuckling.
Celestia walks up the stairs to her throne, takes a seat and looks at us. We stop at the base of the steps and wait. She soon begins to speak. “Now then, take a seat. We have much to talk about.”