Fallout Equestria: Tactics

by lordlaneus

Rating: teen
Tags: Crossover, Alternate Universe, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Adventure
Length: 17294

Driven from his home in Stable 16 due to a combination of superstion and bad luck, Scouts Honor now has to survive in the harsh enviroment of the Equestrian wasteland.

Fallout Equestria: Tactics tells the tale of Scouts Honor, a humble stable dweller, who is driven out into the Equestrian wasteland by a combination of superstition and bad luck. His intelligence is matched only by his complete and utter ignorance of the outside world. LittlePip may have never fired a gun before, but at least she’d seen them in books. As a resident of stable sixteen Scout did not have this luxury.

Tactics aims to explore some of the concepts introduced in the later seasons of Friendship is Magic, for instance how screwed were the Breezies? How did Cheese Sandwich fare in war time Equestria? If Twilight never became an alicorn then what about Cadence?

Published 2014-10-03 21:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-07-15 16:17:43 UTC

Ignorance

Prologue

War. War never changes. Not when Nightmare Moon first rose to power, not when the Zebra nations and Equestria began to feud over resources, nor even when the Stable Dweller fought for control of the Single Pegasus Project. The means may vary; sticks exchanged for spears, spears for firearms, and firearms for megaspells, but the underlying, all-consuming malice remained constant -- a self-sustaining malevolence that continued to grow -- endlessly feeding on itself until one day the world could take no more and cleansed itself with the only implements available: balefire and radiation.

My name is Scouts Honor and I’m writing this because the truth matters. Someday the fruits of my inquiry will inevitably be lost to the sands of time, but I’m going to do my damndest to make sure that everything I’ve learned over the course of my adventure stays around for as long as I can possibly make it. Unedited. In its entirety.

So, where to begin?

I was born in Stable Sixteen. I never knew my father, and my mother died while I was young, but luckily the Overmare took me in. From the time I was a colt, I never fit in very well with my peers. As I grew, I discovered a talent for strategy games, which eventually led to the pawn that adorns my flank to this day. Shortly after my mark appeared, the Overmare officially named me her successor, despite the fact that it meant I would be the Stable’s first Overstaillion. But I suppose my story doesn’t really begin until the day my curiosity got the best of me, and I decided to start pressing for answers.

Fallout Equestria: Tactics
by: LordLaneus

Chapter 1: Ignorance

“Imagine ponies living in an underground den which is open towards the light; they have been there from foalhood, having their necks and legs chained, and can only see into the den.”

Sixteen.

What did it mean? Sixteen what? No one knew anymore. Whatever its original significance, the architect had deemed it important enough to be plastered on every wall, doorway, and piece of clothing in the entire Stable. I had spent the last half an hour staring at my door attempting to unravel the puzzle of its mysterious numerals. I tended to spend a lot of time lost in thought. The only alternatives for passing the time were playing board games or telling stories. I consider myself lucky in how much I genuinely enjoy all three of those activities. There really wasn't much else to do. Maybe that's what the sixteen on the door meant. Maybe it referred to the sixteen waking hours that we had to find some way of filling every day.

I was forcefully dragged back to reality when the door let out a loud hiss. It retracted into the ceiling, revealing the tall, dark grey form of the Overmare. She seemed surprised to find me already standing at the door, my muzzle a scarce few inches from her own. Her expression barely hinted at her confusion, but the hint, however subtle, was clearly there. "Ah, Scout, I'm glad to see I'm not interrupting anything," the mare said in a neutral tone. "I require your assistance in my office." With that she turned and trotted down the hall. I followed closely behind.

"Is this about the Renewal?" I asked, trying to keep up with her brisk pace.

"Indeed. I wanted to make the announcement for everypony to begin their final preparations, but had some difficulties with the intercom."

Ah. I understood. The primary intercom terminal had always been finicky, but unlike faulty PipBucks or medical equipment, it was attached to Overmare's desk, which was bolted to the floor. This meant that it could not be easily placed into a repair chamber. Usually the standard procedure would be to wait a day or two for it to repair itself, but the Renewal added time pressure that ruled out that option. Luckily, it seemed I had a knack for coaxing stubborn machines into serving their intended purposes.

As soon as the door to her office closed behind us, the Overmare relaxed her muscles, slouched slightly and turned back into Jubilee. For some reason she insisted on maintaining an air of stuffy, detached professionalism whenever she was in public. The effort she spent to maintain the pretense was obvious from how quickly she returned to her true self once in private, yet I couldn't recall a single instance of her letting it slip without meaning to. She gestured towards her desk and I went to work.

I pressed the button labeled ‘Intercom.’ No reaction. It was loose, but this was hardly a novel condition. I attempted to twist and wiggle the button into functionality. Hmm… that usually worked. I would have to open the panel. I turned towards Jubilee and asked "Do you have a screwdriver? Maybe a knife? Something pointy? I don't have anything."

To her credit she didn't laugh. She even managed to suppress her smirk, but I saw her eyes shift ever so slightly, and her gaze move to my forehead. She was the closest thing I had to a mother. I trusted her, and I knew she had my best interests at heart. But even so, whenever she looked at me, I knew my condition was never far from her mind. I lowered my head and sank to around half of my original height.

When I looked up, Jubilee was repentantly offering me a screwdriver. Her behavior still stung, but I opted to accept her apology rather than dwell on the sore subject. Screwdriver in hoof, I returned to the console.

I unscrewed the front panel and poked my head in. The interior was dim, but I had enough light to manage. The pieces of circuitry relevant to the intercom were enclosed in small plastic covers that would have to be removed if I wanted access to them.

I wiggled my hoof looking for where I had left the screwdriver. Jubilee must have seen my struggle and passed me the tool. As she did, I thought I saw a faint flash of light coming from somewhere behind me. I turned my head as far as the tight quarters would allow, but couldn’t identify the source. Whatever. A frayed wire may have been slightly dangerous, but the Stable would repair itself within a few days.

I unscrewed the intercom panel and instantly saw the problem. The wire that was supposed to be attached to the button, was instead dangling freely. Hopefully, reattaching the wire would fix intercom. Or at least make it operational until the Stable could repair itself properly. “Hey, I think I see the problem,” I called out, as I came up for air, “Do you have any tape or glue?”

“Sure, one moment,” she replied from the corner of the room. Wait. Hadn’t she been right next to me a moment ago? She rummaged through her drawers before handing me a bottle of wonderglue. Perfect.

I carefully put a dab of glue on the end of the errant wire, mindful to only get it on the rubber outer part, and leave the internal metal uncovered. I’d learned that that mattered for some reason. I pushed the wire back into place and held it there for a few seconds. Once I was satisfied that it would hold, I emerged from the console.

“Presto!” I announced, “The intercom should work again, but I would let it sit for a few minutes before testing it to make sure the glue is dry”.

"Thank you for your help, Scout," Jubilee said as she trotted towards the back of the room. "While we wait would you care for a game?" She didn't have to ask twice, and I didn't even need to answer. She saw how quickly my ears had perked up, and took that as a yes. She retrieved her crystal chess set from the highest shelf. This I had not expected.

Those thirty-two crystalline figurines were by far the Overmare's most precious physical possessions. Each piece appeared to have been ornately hoof carved from glass. The attention to detail was impeccable; each individual pawn had a slightly different stance, uniform, and expression. I'd never seen them used for anything less than the championship match in the Stable-wide chess tournament. They were incredibly fragile, and what's worse, the Stable's repair chambers refuse to fix them for some reason. Hence, the single chip on a single white pawn lingering from a blow sustained long before I'd even been born. Notwithstanding the chip, these figures were clearly the type to be cherished and carefully cared for, not the type to bring out for a quick game between friends while some glue dries.

I reflexively backed away from the board in an attempt to minimize the risk of destroying a Stable heirloom. But Jubilee assured me, "Don't worry, I have faith in your coordination, and even if you did do something stupid, I'd probably just make up a story involving some shoddy shelving or a wayward radroach. Beside this will probably be the last game I play before all records of our lives are wiped from the Stable, so let's make it a good one. I'll start."

Pawn to e4. A standard opening.

I cautiously approached the board, "Do you ever wonder about the Renewal?"

Pawn to g6. An unusual response.

"What's there to wonder about? Computers only have thirty-six hundred days of memory. Once they run out, they naturally have no choice but to wipe themselves clean or else they would be unable to keep functioning."

Pawn to d4. She stuck with convention.

"Well for starters, the Renewal doesn't happen every thirty-six hundred days."

Pawn to c5. This should rattle her a bit.

"Hmm? What do you mean?"

Pawn d captures c5. Bait, taken.

"Did you know that Porkpie has been keeping track of the cycle? Every Renewal, he take notes of how many days it's been and adds it to the list of previous counts. Then he enters it all into a computer as soon as they come back up. He's done that for the last five cycles."

Bishop to g7. I bring out my first major piece.

"Why would anypony ever bother doing that?"

Bishop to f4. Her counter was clumsy.

"I don't know, but each cycle actually lasts three thousand six hundred fifty-two days."

Pawn to b6. A seemingly innocuous play.

"I don't see how knowing the exact amount of time changes anything."

Pawn c captures b6. She clearly didn't see what I was playing at.

"Because here's where it gets interesting. You may not have noticed, but that the last Renewal happened exactly three thousand six hundred fifty-two days ago, and yet the next hasn’t happened yet. This is because, every other cycle lasts exactly one extra day longer."

Queen caputers b6. Now the game begins.

"And what do you suppose causes that?"

Knight to c3. She bides her time.

"Well, since every machine in the Stable is wiped clean, maybe there's some exterior force?"

Pawn to d5. I attempt to draw her aggression.

"Scout! If anypony else had heard you say that to me, I would have had no choice but to issue severe consequences! And besides, it's absurd. The very concept of 'outside the stable' is a logical contradiction. By definition, the Stable is the only thing that wasn't destroyed by Magic."

Queen captures d5 A stronger reaction than I had anticipated.

"I'm sorry, I was just thinking out loud."

pawn to f5. I play the fool.

"That really is your problem, you think too much. Especially about the things that matter the least."

Queen captures 8a. She bought the feint.

"Spending less time lost in thought would leave me with a lot of extra hours to fill; what would you suggest I do with them?"

Pawn f caputres e4. I let her think she is in control a bit longer.

"Everypony else seems to manage. You should try actually interacting with them more. The only time you ever talk to anypony else is when there's a game board between you, and you almost never participate during story tellings. Why don’t you try and make some more friends."

Knight captures e4. The predictable response.

"We both know why."

Knight to f6. I apply a bit of pressure.

"You're wrong. Nopony cares about your condition! You just need a little bit of confidence. That's the only thing your horn actually took from you."

Knight to d2. She goes exactly where I wanted her to.

"You don't know that. For all we know this stupid bone is stabbing all the way through my brain, doing who-knows-what kind of damage."

Knight to d5. I attempt to lure her further

"Scout, please. There’s no reason to believe that it’s anything more than aesthetic. Besides, I've spent enough time with you personally that I can say that I am one-hundred percent certain you do not have brain damage."

Queen captures b8. She maintained course.

"But that's my point. You can't be. None of us really know anything!"

King to d8. I fortify my position.

"This is starting to get ridiculous."

Night g to f3. She fumbled for a move again.

"No, do you want to know what's ridiculous?"

Pawn to e5. The final bit of setup.

"Scout…"

Bishop to g3. She's still too hesitant to attempt anything.

"How can we know so little about something as important as the length of a Renewal cycle? Why do we just assume we're seeing everything there is to see?"

Rook to e8. I begin my final assault.

"I don’t know."

Knight captures e5. A hasty response.

"What about the repair chutes? Where do they lead? How do they work?”

Queen capture b8. I press on.

"Why does it matter?"

pawn to c4. Now she is in a complete panic.

"And why does every surface in the Stable automatically clean and reapair itself, but that pawn’s been chipped my entire life?"

Bishop captures e5. The final nudge that makes her give in.

"Because it was designed that way!"

Queen side castle. By the time she’d realized what she’d done, it was too late.

"Interesting"

Queen captures b2. Checkmate.

As I looked up from the completed game the Overmare did not meet my glance. Without a word, she began to slowly rearrange the chess set, piece by piece. Once the board had been returned to its initial configuration, she carefully placed it back onto its prestigious position on her shelf. She turned to face me, let out a long sigh, and finally spoke. "Scout… do you trust me?" The words barely trickled out of her mouth. “Because I need you to believe me when I say that what I’m about to show you really is the only thing I know. Can you do that?”

I nodded solemnly. The gesture was sincere, though at that point I was so ravenous with curiosity that my response had little bearing on my sincerity.

Jubilee sighed, walked over to her desk, and unlocked the bottom draw. She opened the drawer and removed a small grey rectangle. “This is a holotape,” she explained. “It contains the only permanent recording in the entire Stable. It is intended for the Overmare’s ears only. But as my successor, this office and everything in it, including this tape, will be yours someday. So I’ve decided that you deserve to hear it now. You’ve earned that much.” Her tone was somber. This was one of the few occasions when I was unsure if I was talking to Jubilee or the Overmare. “Besides, you’re curious, you would have eventually found out about this tape anyway.” Her playful smile and affectionate tone immediately removed any doubt as to her current role. “Put the cover of my console back on. and I’ll play the tape for you.”

I eagerly lined up the panel with the console and screwed it back into place. Jubilee connected the tape to her terminal which began to emit soft sputters and pops, and then eventually a mare’s voice as well.

“Hello, my name is Scootaloo, and I’m the vice-president of Stable-Tec. If you’re hearing this, that means that the Omega-Level Threat Protocols have been enacted and you have been chosen to be the overmare of Stable Sixteen”

“You are now the last, best hope for equinity. But it’s not enough to merely ensure the survival of our species; we must do everything in our power to never repeat the mistakes that led us so close to extinction. In service of this goal, you have exactly one job: To Forget.

“Your descendents are to live their lives untainted by the knowledge of our bloody history. Therefore the central computer system is set to purge its memory core once every ten years, a similar modification has been made to all of your PipBucks. Furthermore the stable itself is equipped with numerous cleaning and repair talismans that will prevent any information from be recording manually. All of the operation necessary to keep Stable Sixteen running smoothly have been automated, so that you won’t have to concern yourselves with anything other than putting as much distance between our societies as possible

“However, should a catastrophic failure occur that threatens the survival of the stable, there is a tunnel hidden underneath your desk that will allow access to the stables innerworkings so that you may attempt to correct the problem. Otherwise your only responsibility is to survive.

“Thank you. From all of us. From all of Equestria. Best of luck, and may Stable Sixteen and all its ponies live long and well.”

We sat in silence for several seconds. When I opened my mouth to speak, a few dozen questions all attempted to reach my mouth first. How does this tape work? Why was it a secret? Who’s Scootaloo? What’s Stable-Tec? Are there more Stables? When was this recording made? What are we supposed to be forgetting? What ‘bloody past’? What’s a year? Why would anypony do this? What was in the “stable’s innerworkings”? Just why?

But my question only managed to become wedged in my throat. I closed my mouth again. To my surprise Jubilee was the one to finally break the silence. “I trust I can count on your discretion in this matter?”

Her question allowed a few of my own to break from the herd and gallop out of my lips. “Why? Why didn’t you show this me until now? For that matter, why doesn’t the entire Stable know?”

“Because, that’s just the way it’s supposed to be.” The Overmare was looking down at her hooves, as she gave her answer, “When my mother handed down her title to me, she played that tape for me. Her final act as overmare was to order my silence, just as my grandmother had done to her, and I am doing to you.”

“So it’s a secret, but we have no idea why?” The absurdity of the situation made my head hurt.

“You’re right, but have you considered that maybe, just maybe, whoever originally decided that this should be a secret actually did know what they were doing? The only guidance we have for dealing with this tape says to keep it a secret. Could that guidance be wrong? Maybe, but as you so eloquently put it “we have no idea.” Besides, what good would making it public actually do? I’ll ask again, can I count on your discretion?”

Her argument didn’t sit right with me, but I was unable to find the words to criticize it. It just didn’t seem right to lock away something as scarce as knowledge. Besides, she had a point: knowing that our predicament had been engineered wouldn’t help us solve it. I nodded.

“Scout, this is serious,” She said in stern tone, “I need to hear you say it.”

I reluctantly complied. “I promise that I won’t reveal anything I’ve learned from the tape, or even the that the tape exists at all, to anypony else in the stable, cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.”

Despite ending with a sarcastic rendition of a nursery rhyme, my response seemed to appease the Overmare. “Alright, Scout, I have an announcement to make, and we all of have big day tomorrow; you should return to your room and rest up.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” was all I could manage as I walked towards the door. A few seconds after the door closed behind me I heard the intercom activate, and the Overmare’s voice filled the Stable.

“Attention all residents… this is the Overmare. As you should all be aware, the next Renewal is imminent. In fact, Scout has just shared a theory with me, which if correct would mean that the Renewal will occur tomorrow. His evidence seems strong, so to be safe we should act under the assumption that he is correct. Take the rest of the night, and tomorrow morning to memorize any information that you need, or want, to retain. Once the Renewal has occurred, and you’ve re-entered as much information as you are able, please make your way to the atrium, for an assembly to discuss what information was and wasn’t lost during the Renewal, and to discuss our plans moving forward into the next cycle. That is all.”

By the time the broadcast had finished I was already back to my room, lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling. The other residents of Stable sixteen were busy memorizing as much as they could fit into their brains. But all of the vital information I had just learned was already safe from the Renewal. Had I not been so overwhelmed with what I had just learned, I would have been offering my mnemonic services to somepony else who had too much valuable information for them to keep track of by themselves. This was in fact how I had spent the previous Renewal, and how I had first became acquainted with Porkpie.

The information that Porkpie deemed worthy of preservation was, for lack of a better word, scattershot. That particular cycle, he had been attempting to save the average temperature of every month for the last four Renewal cycles (A constant seventy-three degrees), various population statistics (equally unphenomenal) and of course the number of days between Renewals. It was the last of these that piqued my interest enough for me to offer my assistance. Since then, Porkpie has been my only real friend. We were never as close as I was with Jubilee, but while Jubilee treated me with affectionate parental authority, I was able to interact with Porkpie as an equal, even if he was three Renewal cycles my senior.

Equal. That word stung. Until now Porkpie and I had shared anything we had that might help us solve the many mysteries of the Stable. And I now here I was with the single biggest clue of my life, and a direct order from the Overmare not to share it with anypony. I wasn’t sure if I would ever be able to talk with Porkpie normally again now that I knew so much that he didn’t. I thought about listening to one of his theories, but the idea of having relevant evidence that I was unable to share was enough to make me scream. Softly of course. If my neighbors heard and decided to come investigate, I would be forced to come up with some lie to explain my distress. That idea was almost enough to elicit a second scream.

***

My mind was a battle ground. Some parts were trying to process this new and revelatory information while the others were cowering in fear of the situations that this knowledge would engender. The combination proved to be a potent agent of insomnia. By the time the alarm on my PipBuck went off the next morning, I had only secured an hour or so of sleep. I silenced the alarm and refocused on some much needed rest. Just as drowsiness was about to reclaim me, I remembered what day it was and reluctantly forced myself out of bed.

Bleary eyed from lack of sleep, I went through my morning routine in slow motion. The actual Renewal wouldn’t occur for several more hours, but the morning before a Renewal was when the Stable was at its busiest. I wouldn’t normally be attracted to busyness, but when it only came once every thirty-six hundred days, it became an event that I didn’t want to miss.

As I traversed the hallways, I navigated a sea of ponies attempting to memorize as much as they could. Some were huddled in groups dividing up duties, other were pacing back and forth chanting mnemonics under their breath, and a select few were relaxing secure in the knowledge that they had already memorized everything they would need to know months ago. When I reached the cafeteria, it was predominantly occupied by the third group. And that happened to include Porkpie.

I started towards Porkpie. I still didn’t like the idea of having to conceal anything from him, but I couldn’t just avoid him. I would have to talk to him eventually, and eventually might as well be now. But then again, I was pretty hungry, and the dispensers were serving apple today. Okay. I decided one quick detour to get breakfast and then I’d go talk to Porkpie.

I grabbed a bowl and brought it over to the dispensers. I took a few seconds selecting what I wanted, even though apple was by far my favorite. I held my hoof up, and the dispenser registered my PipBuck. The dispenser gurgled and began filling my bowl with sweet red paste. Well, no more stalling, I sat down next to Porkpie.

“Oh! Scout! I just realized something last night!” Porkpie said, completely unaware of how much his own revelation was doomed to pale in comparison to my own.

“What’s that?” I asked trying to act as normal as possible.

“Well, I was wondering how the dispensers kept track of who’s eaten how much each day. And that’s when it hit me! What would happen if I maxed out my daily food allotment the morning before a Renewal?”

“Then you would go hungry that night.” I tried to put on my best pokerface, but quickly realized that a poker face was not casual attire for a normal conversation between friends.

“Well I guess we’ll see about that.” As he finished speaking he gestured towards the five empty bowls sitting next to him.

“Wait,” I say in genuine surprise, “You ate all of those yourself? Why would you do that?”

“First off, I didn’t eat them myself, I gave them out as compensation for helping me preserve all of my data today.” The corners of Porkpie’s mouth were twitching with the desire to form a smirk. “Secondly, who says I’ll go hungry? If the Renewal happens then how will the machines remember not to give me anymore food today?” There’s the smirk.

I pretended to be thinking about what he was saying while desperately tried to formulate exactly what I would have said in that situation if I hadn’t recently learned of persistent computer memory. I drew a blank. Eventually I simply responded, “What if your plan doesn’t work?”

“Even better!” he beamed. “If that happens it means that I just discovered a way to store information that will survive the Renewal.”

I had to literally bite my tongue to keep my promise to Jubliee. “Totally impossible! No way, no how. I mean, I’m sure nothing like that exists anywhere else in the Stable.” Smooth, Scout, Smooth.

Luckily Porkpie was too excited to notice my less than convincing ruse and just continued speaking, “You realize that if we could get the whole Stable involved in this we could store upwards of fifty bytes of data this way?”

Damnit. Twelve hours ago I would have been thrilled about this. Sure the logistics involved were absurd, and fifty bytes would only be enough to store a short sentence, but I wouldn’t have cared, this would have been a breakthrough. But now I knew about that damned holotape. It had a permanent record of a full two minutes of high quality audio, at least fifty-thousands time more data than Porkpie’s method could handle.

Porkpie was still rambling excitedly, but I wasn’t able to muster the effort to listen. I wondered if I ever would again. From that point on my only contribution to the conversation was the occasional half hearted nod. Porkpie was still too engrossed in his cleverness to notice I was acting strange. But that was fine. His plan was genuinely brilliant, I just couldn’t care about it anymore.

Eventually I noticed my bowl was empty, and took the excuse to leave the table. The only one I could talk to was Jubilee, but she was busy running around making sure everypony was ready, I would have to catch her after the assembly. Till then? I wasn’t sure.

I wandered the Stable until I noticed the congestion beginning to thin. My PipBuck’s clock confirmed that the Renewal was rapidly approaching. I still didn’t have any information to transcribe, so I decided to just go to the atrium early. When I got there, a few ponies were already waiting, It seemed they had had the same idea I did. I found a spot that was out of the way, and waited.

About thirty minutes later, the clock on my PipBuck struck twelve, and the entire stable was plunged into darkness. The usually barely perceptible humming of machinery was suddenly deafening in its absence. Nopony dared speak, partly for the benefit of those trying to remember things, but mostly out of awe for the spectacle. I don’t know how long the darkness lasted; having a clock permanently affixed to my leg had robbed me of any natural sense of time, but somewhere between two and fifteen minutes later, the silence was broken by a low hum. The lights came back on and the stable was filled with the din of hundreds of hooves furiously entering data as quickly as they could.

I took this opportunity to reboot my PipBuck, which was already diligently informing me that it was still twelve o’clock on the dot, completely ignorant of the past few minutes of darkness. My PipBuck was also asking me to “UPLOAD PRIMARY DRIVERS”. Nopony knew what that meant, so I just pressed ‘CANCEL.’ The PipBuck displayed a loading icon for a few seconds before prompting me to try and come up with a better name for myself than the default “OCCUPANT-413.” I entered my name carefully. Once it was set, it couldn’t be changed until the next Renewal, and I didn’t want to spend the next 3,600 plus days as ‘Scouts Bonor.’ With my name submitted, the PipBuck returned to its familiar home screen.

I wondered why a glorified watch had to involve so much setup. Hadn’t the mare on the tape said that modification had been made to all of our PipBucks? Maybe they were originally supposed to be capable of doing more than just telling us the time, our own names, and occasionally serving as a flashlight. The entire device was covered with buttons and gauges that didn’t do anything, so this seemed likely.

By this point the atrium was starting to fill, up so I didn’t notice Porkpie sneaking up behind me. “Hey, what’s going on with your PipBuck?” He had noticed me looking at my foreleg.

“Nothing,” I replied, “I was just re-entering my name, and I started wondering why it had so many extra buttons.”

“Yeah, and what the hay are ‘primary drivers’ anyway?” he responded, in almost exactly the same way he had the last time we’d had this conversation.

I was struggled to give a response unaffected by my newfound knowledge. What had I said the last time this came up? Eventually I decided to just start talking. “Well-”

“Welcome, everypony!” The Overmare mercifully cut me off, “They’re are a few stragglers still entering data, but the majority of the Stable has already made its way here. Today is a day to celebrate. For the first time in living memory, we were able to successfully predict the exact date of the Renewal. If our theory continues to hold, we will be able to better prepare for future Renewals, and hopefully drastically minimize lost information. This breakthrough was thanks to the vigilance of Porkpie and Scouts Honor. Could you two please come up to the stage?”

Porkpie began moving towards the front of the crowd, I quickly followed after him and quietly asked “Did you know she was going to call us up?”

“Yeah,” he responded in a hushed tone, “I thought I warned you about this at breakfast.” Well now I knew at least what one of my half hearted nods had been in response to.

We nervously climbed steps up to the stage; neither of us were particularly comfortable in front of large crowds. Once we were at the Overmare’s side, she resumed her speech.

“These two inquisitive minds have made one of the largest advances that the Stable has ever known. What they have discovered will make everypony’s life that much better for generations to come. I believe that this qualifies for a round of applause.” The room erupted into a cacophony of hoof beats. My earlier trepidation washed away completely. I had to admit, the attention actually felt pretty good.

Good enough that I let my guard down.

I don’t know who said it, but from somewhere within the cascade of congratulations, my ears picked up a single sentence, that completely shattered the moment. “Nice work, bone-head!”

That could have been the end of it, just a single asshole in a crowd of hundreds. But, no. This particular asshole decided to take things a step further. I saw something small whizzing towards me from his direction. I closed my eyes and braced for impact.

…

…

...

Huh? did he miss? The trajectory had looked spot on. I tentatively opened my eyes to discover an ordinary die suspended in mid-air, a few feet in front of my face. The only clue to it’s flagrant disregard for the laws of gravity, was the transparent silver glow surrounding it. The rest of the Stable was dumb struck by the spectacle, but to my confusion only half of them were looking at the die. The rest had their eyes firmly affixed to my horn. Moving my eyes up I saw the same silver energy field engulfing my horn.

My heart skipped a beat and the die fell to the floor.

Eventually someone in crowd worked up the courage to speak, “Magic’s back to finish what he started! He’s going to destroy the Stable!” The rest of the crowd seemed to agree with the sentiment. The applause from a moment ago was replaced by a volley of threats and slurs.

One pony in the front row shouted for my head, and began to rush the stage. The others followed
With my eyes welling with tears, I turned to Porkpie for support. Porkpie stared at me, slowly shaking his head, and mouthing the words “I’m sorry.”

Jubilee proved a far more valuable ally. She quickly grabbed my shoulder in her teeth, and half led, half dragged me through the ravenous mob. Hundreds of hooves and jaws reached out at me as the mob attempted to rest me from Jubilee’s grasp. We cleared of the atrium and only a few of my assailants continued their pursuit. Jubilee galloped towards her office faster than I had thought possible, but I somehow managed to match her pace. We raced up the stairs and into her office. The door closed just as our pursuers reached it. Denied entry, they began pounding on the door.

Now that I had six inches of metal between myself and my assailants, I suddenly became aware of my exhaustion and terror. I collapsed on floor in a blubbering pile of pony. “Listen, Scout. Things are going to be okay, but you need to be strong right now,” Jubilee reassured me. “I don’t know what happened out there, but here’s what I do know. You aren’t a minion of Magic, you aren’t being controlled by Magic, and you certainly aren’t Magic himself.”

A long career as the Overmare had left Jubilee with a cool head in a crisis. I, on the other hand, could only muster a few “buts” in reply

“No! You are Scouts Honor, and I’ve known you your entire life. You think about things, and you fix things. You do not destroy them. I know that, you know that, and deep down the entire rest of the stable knows that.”

Her reassurances were helping me to slowly regain control of my breathing. I was almost able to form words again.

“They’re just scared right now. Probably even more scared than you are. So all we need to do is keep you safe until everypony else has chance to settle down and think about things calmly. I’m sure that once they do, they’ll realize that you would never betray them.”

“But,” I managed to choke out, “What am I going to do till then?”

“Do you remember the secret tunnel mentioned in the tape I showed you?” By the time she had finished asking the question, she had already pushed a secret button on her desk, causing her entire work station, to retract towards the wall, and rise several feet off the floor. Underneath where her desk had previously sat there was a dark staircase leading into the unknown. “This leads to the under-Stable. That’s where you need to hide. I don’t know what you’ll find down there, but I’ll need a week to calm things down. Do you think you can make it that long?”

I nodded in the affirmative.

“Good, but you need to leave immediately.”

“What? but, why right now?” I stammered.

“Because the next few hours are going to be critical. I can’t spend them in here, but as soon I open that door, a lot of scared and angry ponies are going to rush in, and you can’t be here when they do.” She was right.

I took a deep breath and entered the tunnel.

Jubilee, called down after me, “Alright, tomorrow I’ll leave you some food and water at the top of these stairs, I should be able to wrangle up enough to last you for the rest of the week. Don’t worry, I promise I’ll sort this out. Just survive one week, and everything can go back to normal, and we can figure out what’s going on”

I turned around and said the only thing that came to mind, “Thank you. For everything.” Jubilee continued to wear her strong reassuring smile, but I saw the tears beginning to form in her eyes.

Jubilee disappeared from the ring of light at the top of the stairs, and a moment later I saw the desk move back into place, completely blocking all light from entering the stairway. So there I was. Surrounded by absolute darkness. With no idea where I was going. Completely and utterly alone.

Footnote: Level up!

New Perk Added: Horse Sense-- You are a swift learner. You gain an additional +10% whenever experience points are earned.

Author's Note

LordLaneus: Hey! First off, thanks for reading it this far. If you have any comments, questions, anything you can send them to FoE.Tactics@gmail.com. See you all in chapter 2.

Into the Abyss

Chapter 2: Into the Abyss

“She might banish you from Equestria. Or throw you in a dungeon. Or banish you and then throw you in a dungeon in the place that she banishes you to!”

Darkness.

It was everywhere. Everything. I could feel it closing in all around me, squeezing the air out of my lungs, and sapping every bit of the strength that Jubilee had inspired in me.

Jubilee...

She wasn’t really gone though, was she? In reality she was just a few feet away. The thought somehow made me feel even worse. My mind recalled a story I’d heard of a pony who was cursed by Magic to eternally stand neck deep in a pool of water. Whenever she bent down to drink, the water level would recede to just below her muzzle, leaving her in perpetual, agonizing thirst.

No! That wasn’t me. I wasn’t here forever. One week. That was it. Just seven days and I was done. One week and I would see Jubliee again. One week and I would be welcomed back into the Stable. One week and everything would be normal again. One week.

With renewed determination, I re-assessed my situation. Problem: it’s too dark. Solution: activate my PipBuck light. See, Scout? Things are simple when you don’t panic.

-Click-

The light wasn’t particularly powerful, but in the absolute darkness it seemed as bright as the main atrium lights. The architecture of the under-Stable was similar to rest of the Stable except for the numerous metallic struts and the increased number of conspicuous welds and bolts. Clearly this area hadn’t been constructed for aesthetic appeal. From where I stood there were only two visible paths, and one of them was currently obstructed by the
Overmare’s desk. I took a breath and began walking.

The path quickly came to a fork, then another, and another. I was beginning to worry about finding my way back to the Overmare’s office, but I set my anxiety aside. I wouldn’t have to worry about that until tomorrow when I needed to collect the provisions Jubiler would leave for me. In the mean time, I might as well continue exploring my new surroundings.

The under-Stable was filled with strange machines I couldn’t identify. Each made distinct noises that ranged from quiet humming to deafening screeches. I generally avoided the louder machines, but appreciated them as navigational tools.

Regardless of how loud a room was, I made of point of visiting each and every one I came across at least once. The odds were slim that I would ever return here, and I wanted to see everything there was to see. One room contained six loud devices that were constantly shooting sparks back and forth between each other.

In another particularly cruel room, there was a large metal cylinder that gave off the sound of rushing water. Despite my best efforts, I was unable to determine whether or not the machine actually contained water. The sound of water made me acutely aware of my thirst. After several minutes of fruitless effort, I quit trying to access the machine. Even if I could open it up, I didn’t actually know if there would be any water inside. Also the tape had said that the under-Stable was vital for keeping the rest of the Stable running, so it would probably be a bad idea to break anything down here.

I did however make one exception to my policy of exploration when I came across a door marked with a strange yellow and black symbol. The sign was intriguing, but when I approached, my PipBuck began clicking and one of its previously useless dials began to move. I came to the conclusion that this was either a good sign or -- more likely -- an extremely bad one. I decided not to take the risk.

After hours had passed, and I had failed to find anything even remotely soft, I ultimately settled for curling up in the corner of a quieter room. It was far from cozy, but I would have to do.

***

I waited patiently at the bottom of the Overmare's tunnel. A sliver of light appeared then grew into a crescent as the Overmare’s desk slid out of the way. The widening beam of light revealed a silhouette standing at the top of the stairs. “Jubilee!” I called out.

“No,” came the reply. As my eyes adjusted to the light, I saw for myself that this wasn’t Jubilee. She had a blue coat and a well kept mane of brilliant gold. Her cutie mark was a familiar pattern of a dot inside a circle sitting atop three horizontal lines. I was looking upon the face of Stable herself. I instinctively bowed before the goddess.

Stable responded, "Please, Magic, save your false humility."

Wait, What?

"B- but, I'm not Magic," I protested.

"Silence!" She bellowed, "I will have none of your tricks. I do not know how you breached my inner sanctum, but I will not allow you to corrupt my children."

She stomped her hoof and the patch of floor I was standing on suddenly liquified. Before I had time to react I had sunk down to my knees. “Please! I’m not Magic, I’m Scouts Honor. I’m Scouts Honor!”

“No. You are a liar, and an imposter,” Stable stated coldly, before turning and walking away.
The last thing I heard before my head fell beneath the surface was the sound of Jubilee’s voice saying, “I trusted you…”

***

I awoke with a start.

My heart was racing. It had just been a dream. Just a dream. It didn’t even make sense anymore. I knew from the tape that the Stable wasn’t a sentient entity. It had been designed and built by ponies, and if Stable didn’t really exist, then how much of the story of her and Magic could possibly be true? I reviewed the tale in my mind.

In the beginning there was Harmony. Everything, and everypony existed in perfect balance, just as they always had, and just as they were intended to forever. For this was the will of the Stable. But then somehow a pony known as Magic upset this balance. At first Magic was no more clever, stronger or wiser, than any other being, because at this time all were equal. But then somehow, by some fluke, Magic discovered a flaw in the Stable’s plan, a mysterious secret that allowed him to elevate himself above all others. His ascension was by no means drastic. In fact it was so minor that at first the Stable failed to notice the divergence from her plan. But this slight imperfection in the natural order was enough for Magic to exploit in his pursuit of power. Magic knew that he would never be able to become strong enough to overthrow the Stable by himself, so instead he his focused efforts on performing supposed miracles that appeared to improve the lives of any who would follow him, never letting them see the true cost of his actions. He preached that the Stable was a tyrant enforcing a regime of stagnation, but that through him the world could progress, and become a better place for all who inhabited it. At this point the Stable recognized the threat, but could not bring herself to strike down her own creations. Instead she futilely tried to restore her perfect balance. But an object once cracked can never be put right again, so while the Stable struggled in vain, Magic continued to amass power. When the Stable finally saw that hope was lost, she did the only thing she could, she found the few ponies least contaminated by Magic's influence and took them into her bosom. There the Stable could keep them safe and pure while she waited for Magic to inevitably destroy himself.

Considering my new evidence, the story seemed ridiculous, but I couldn’t help remembering what had happened in the atrium. If I could break the natural order by making a die ignore gravity, then that seemed to lend credence to the theory that a figure like Magic really did exist, and had done the same. What if I had discovered this ability while I was by myself, kept it a secret, and learned to control it? Would my slight advantage of being immune to having dice thrown at my head somehow allow me to overthrow Jubilee and end up accidentally destroying the entire stable? This seemed unlikely.

But then again, the stable wasn’t the perfectly even playing field in which Magic had supposedly lived. And besides, the story never specified precisely what Magic could do. His advantage could easily have been greater than mine. In fact, I couldn’t think of any potential advantage that would be smaller than the ability to catch dice. Such a random ability too, I wonder-

~Gurgle~

My rumbling stomach interrupted my train of thought. I would have to attend to my hunger before I could make any more progress in questioning everything I’d ever known. I began to make my way back to the under-stable’s entrance. The previous night’s exploration had granted me a surprisingly workable understanding of the under-stable’s layout, and I was able to navigate back to the Overmare’s tunnel with only minor difficulty.
When I arrived, I was disappointed to find that Jubilee hadn’t left anything for me yet. Understandable; it was still early morning, and she didn’t know I had missed lunch. Disappointed and hungrier than ever, I continued my exploration of the under-stable.

The under-stable seemed smaller than it had when I'd first arrived. Most the rooms I came across were ones that I had already explored the previous night, but a few were new. One such room was notable for being noticeably a few degrees warmer than the rest of the under-stable. Apart from the entrance, its walls were tiled with large heat emitting devices, four more of which formed an island in the center of the room. The ceiling was adorned with several loud spinning pieces of metal. Behind each of the whirling devices was a tube leading to some well lit area. Then I noticed a humble computer terminal attached to the back side of the island in the center of the room. I could communicate with the rest of the stable!

No.

That would be a bad idea. I didn’t know how Jubilee was handling things up there, but odds were good that it wouldn’t help my situation if I reemerged early via computer. At the very least, I could still look at other ponies’ public correspondences to try and get a grasp on how close they were to forgiving me. I nervously approached the console. Wait. This wasn’t an ordinary terminal.

ROBRONCO PRIMARY MAINFRAME TERMINAL
TIME SINCE LAST NETWORK REFORMAT 17 HOURS, 9 MINUTES.

Stupid computer. I was trying not to think about how long it had been since I’d last eaten, but now that this computer had told me, the pangs started to hit me with full force. I decided to stay the course and keep fiddling with the computer for the sake of distraction.
The terminal wasn’t connected to the stable’s public communication system, so my idea to monitor my public image was a bust, but the terminal did have access to numerous other files with strange names. Wait, where had these files come from? The terminal itself said that everything had been erased a short seventeen hours ago. Could these possibly be persistent files?

Had I not been in the early stages of dehydration, my mouth would have been watering. I opened one file at random called ‘PRIMARY REACTOR BASELINE OUTPUT LEVELS.’ The screen filled with numbers I couldn’t make heads or tails of. Even though the information was unintelligible to me, I decided to download the entire database to my PipBuck. I doubted I would ever be able to convince the Overmare to let me share them, but then again, if I could, Porkpie would give a leg for them. I suddenly realized that I wouldn’t be able to find out the results of Porkpie’s experiment for another six days. Unless….

I began scrolling through the list of files until I managed to find what I was looking for, a file marked ‘STABLE RESIDENTS NUTRITIONAL RATIONS.’ I opened the file and scrolled down to resident four hundred thirteen. Sure enough, it displayed that I had used one of my six rations yesterday, and none today. Porkpie was right, there really was a persistent storage accessible through the food dispensers. I noticed Porkpie had already used up four of his rations that morning -- made sense considering he had given away his dinner the previous day.

I attempted to vicariously alleviate my hunger by resetting Porkpie’s rations. Just because I was starving didn’t mean he shouldn’t eat like a king. However, when I attempted to change the data, I was prompted for an administrator password. My best guess, ‘PASSWORD,’ was predictably rejected. Figured.

I scrolled through the database for a while longer until my growling stomach compelled me to check the staircase.

Nothing. I decided to just lie down on the stairs and wait. This way, when Jubilee dropped off my rations I would get a chance to see her and get the food and water immediately. Really, I should have done this from the beginning; there would be plenty of time to explore the under-stable on a full stomach. I rested my head against the stairs and waited.

***

I didn’t remember falling asleep, but I must have since I woke up starving. I checked my PipBuck. It had been forty-six hours since I’d last eaten. I realized that I had to face the possibility that Jubilee wouldn’t come, though I refused to consider why. The important thing was that I had to get water somehow which meant I had to get back up into the Stable. I wasn’t dying. I could probably hold out for another day, but I only had one idea for making my return, and if I waited any longer I might not have the strength for it.

I returned to the room with the terminal and turned my gaze towards the ceiling. If I could get past one of those spinning things, I could try to shimmy my way up one of the tubes. I didn’t know where they led, but hopefully it would be an improvement. If not… well going down the tube would be significantly easier.

I used the terminal, as a hoofhold to climb on top of the island. Balancing on my hind legs, I was just able to reach the spinning blades. The blades weren’t moving all that fast, but the edges looked sharp enough to easily slice through my leg even at their moderate pace. The obvious solution would have been to jam the blades with something rigid, but based on my exploration, the under-stable didn’t seem to contain anything that wasn’t either bolted to the floor or too heavy to lift. I’d have to do this without any tools. The blades seemed to be held in place by a single bolt at their center. The bolt was rotating with the blades, and it was even going counter-clockwise from my perspective, which meant that if I had had pliers I could have just held the bolt in place and let it unscrew itself. Unfortunately, I didn’t. I saw the obvious answer. I didn’t like it, but I saw it.

Alright on the count of three.

“One.” I mentally braced myself for what was about to come. It would hurt. Probably a lot. No, definitely a lot. But then again so did the lack of water and that was only going to get worse. Really, the key difference between the two options was that this one would be over in a few seconds, but dying from dehydration would be agonizingly slow, and would have the permanent, irreversible consequence of my being dead.

"Two.” I stretched closer to the bolt so that my muzzle was almost touching it. Was I really about to do this? This is crazy! There had to be a better solution, and even if there wasn’t there was no harm looking for a bit longer. But just as I was about to back out, I felt my mouth begin to form the final numeral.

“Three!” I bit down on the bolt. The metal ground against my teeth. Damnit! It was still spinning. I would have let go, but I knew that I wouldn’t be able to work up the nerve to try this again. My entire mind was screaming for me get this spinning hexagon of pain as far away from my mouth as possible, but I defiantly focused all of my attention on tightening my jaw. To an outside observer, the entire affair would have only lasted a few seconds, but for me it seemed an eternity before I finally felt the sweet sensation of the bolt beginning to give.

I pulled back and let out the scream I had been suppressing. I was still screaming when the metal blades fell to the ground with a deafening crash that echoed around the room, drowning out my own prolonged shriek. I was wrong about the pain being over in a few seconds. I could still feel the bolt throbbing in my mouth. Probing the area with my tongue revealed a disconcerting wiggle in several of my teeth. Hopefully it wasn’t anything that an Auto-Doc couldn’t fix.

I wrapped my hooves around the beam that had been supporting the spinning blades, and hoisted myself up. Under normal circumstances I probably wouldn’t have been able to manage this feat of strength, but my blood was still running hot from my recent dental trauma. I managed to get myself perched on the cross beam, and got my first good look at the tube. It looked like it extended straight up for maybe a hundred feet. I braced myself against the sides, took a deep breath, and began to climb.

***

Progress was slow and strenuous, but it gave me a chance to think. Priority one was getting back to the stable, then get something to eat, and more importantly drink. After that I would speak to Jubilee and find out what had happened, and then I could go directly to medical and have one of the Auto-Docs take a look at my teeth. Wait. No. Hunger was clouding my judgment. Speaking to Jubilee was clearly a higher priority than sustenance. I had to avoid being seen by anyone until Jubilee gave me the all-clear.

My inner monologue was cut short by the top of the tube, and more importantly by the heavy iron grate that impeded my progress towards… Hmm… I wasn’t actually sure. There was light coming through but all I could see from my current vantage point was more iron. I heard the sound of flowing air. Wherever it lead, the grate returned my throbbing limbs to the forefront of my mind. It’s one thing to ignore pain when you have a clear plan to alleviate it, but that reprieve vanished in the face of this new obstacle.

The grate looked sturdy. It would have been difficult to break through, even if all four of my legs weren’t presently occupied with the arduous task of holding me in place. The grate was secured by several screws. The screws were far too small for me to grip with my mouth even if I could somehow position myself to reach them. My plan wouldn’t work. I’d have to descend back down to the under-stable. And then what? Hope I didn’t starve? If I went down now, I wouldn’t be able to get back up. So what? There wasn’t anything I could do up here anyway. I didn’t want to admit that all of that effort had been a waste, but what I was willing to admit, had little to do with what was or wasn’t a waste. I sighed, and rearranged my limbs to prepare for the slide back to the under-stable. But then, a thought occurred.

Somewhere in my head, some lazy part of mind suddenly bolted awake and began screaming a realization with all the volume it could muster. Within moments every one my mental faculties were focused on a single thought: ‘Who said I can only manipulate dice?’ My mind raced trying to unravel the meaning and implications of this revelation.

Could I manipulate anything I wanted? No that would be impossible. But floating dice were also impossible. Surely limitless mind powers are somehow more impossible than a momentary lapse in physics. No, degrees of impossibility don’t even make sense. Either something can be done or it can’t be done. There was a clear line between the two. A line that I have already crossed. Anything that happens must, by definition, be possible, a rule which now somehow applies to the impossible. But that in and of itself is impossible!

This line of reasoning was getting me nowhere and there was an obvious experiment to settle the matter. I focused on a screw and put every ounce of my concentration that wasn’t preoccupied by my aching limbs into making it turn. I gave up after several seconds of grunting and scowling.

This result was at best inconclusive. Assuming I did have the ability to bend the rule of reality to my will, it would still have been incredibly optimistic to think I could master it in just a few seconds. I owed it to myself to try a least one other approach before abandoning the entire enterprise to go waste away in a hole.

I thought back to incident with the die. I had caught it without thinking, but at the same time, on the subconscious level, the die had been the center of my attention. How was I supposed to replicate that? Well come to think of it, that’s not too different from how you control any other part of your body. No matter how hard you concentrate you can’t think your legs into motion, you have to will them into motion.
Alright take two.

I closed my eyes and pictured the screw in my mind. I visualized the small piece of metal twisting itself free. I mentally mapped out every minute detail of what needed to be done. Then, in a brief instant, I willed it to happen.

And it worked. I knew it had. Even without any visual evidence, the surge of energy I felt in my horn was a dead give away. I opened my eyes anyway to see the screw engulfed in silver light make one final rotation, before the light faded, and the screw fell to the bottom of the tube, landing after a few seconds with a satisfying clink. I should have been stunned, but something about the experience felt so natural, so right, that it was hard to view it as anything other than how things were supposed to be. I felt as if I had been blind for my entire life and was finally seeing for the first time. It was exhilarating to say the least.

I gleefully turned my attention to the remaining five screws. Each screw came out more easily than the last, I even managed to remove the final two simultaneously. I retract my previous simile: this wasn’t seeing for the first time, this was running full speed, with the wind in your mane, after a lifetime of paralysis.

With the screws gone, it took only moderate effort to lift the grate and slide it out of the way. At the top of the tube there was a small metal room, barely large enough to contain me comfortably, even ignoring the pony sized hole in floor I had entered through. I lay down on my side, hugging the outside wall. The position wasn’t strictly speaking comfortable, but my aching body was glad for the rest regardless. The room was lit by small slits in each of the walls. The box was welded together, which ruled out the possibility of utilizing my new found skill. The walls seemed pretty flimsy though. Even I could probably just kick them apart. Let the stable worry about repairing itself.

The hole in the center of the room made it difficult to line up my kick, but with a little finagling I managed to find a suitable position. I leaned forward and shot by hind legs towards the wall. A quick glance over my shoulder revealed a sizable dent. Two bucks later, the wall came free. I climbed through the makeshift exit, and found myself-

What.

I closed my eyes and calmly counted to three before reopening them. When the scene remained unchanged, my mind begrudgingly attempted to process it.

I was nowhere. Weird brown stuff below me. Weirder grey stuff above me. An infinite expanse in all other directions. Nope, nope, nope. I reject this. This place didn't exist. I wasn't there. Things can’t just go on forever, that wasn’t possible- No, dammit! I was not going down that path again.

The mere sight of the infinite abyss made me sick to my stomach; I curled up in a quivering ball. I barely resisted the urge to jump head first back down the tube. On some level I knew that this was progress. But my rational side was only able to argue my terror to a literal stand still.

***

After a few hours of petrified quivering, I realized I was going to die there, completely alone, and literally in the middle of nowhere. It wasn’t fair. I had made the most amazing discovery of life, only to die a miserable few hours later. What was the point of that? What was the point of anything? Soon I’d be dead. So what? That was always how my life was going to end no matter what happened. What did a few extra cycles of life matter when compared the countless ones I would spend dead?

Unconsciousness began to take me. I knew that I probably wouldn’t wake up again, but even so, I couldn't muster the effort, or even the desire, to fight it. I closed my eyes and embraced the darkness.

-drip-

What? I though I felt a drop of water hit my snout. I was hoping for peaceful passing, undisturbed by hallucination. I would prefer to go without the phantasms of loved ones and bright white lights.

-drip-

Okay, that one was definitely real. I lifted my head and looked around. Water was falling from the nowhere above. This was the precise moment I gave up trying to figure out the difference between the the possible and impossible, and decided to just take miracles at face value.

I held my mouth skyward, catching every drop I could. At first the scarce amount of water only served to highlight my thirst, but the dripping quickly turned into torrent capable of at least partially satiating it. Access to water bought me some time. I would still need to find food, but my hunger was nowhere near a severe as my thirst had been. But more importantly, I was alive and planned to stay that way.

Not dealing with imminent dehydration made everything seem brighter. Or maybe everything actually was brighter. When I had first come up it had been brighter than the under-stable, but I had still needed my PipBuck light. This was no longer the case. I switched off the light and surveyed my surroundings. I was currently standing on a massive mound of the soft, now soggy, brown stuff. There were other mounds, but the one I was standing on was by far the largest. I scanned the ground for anything that might give me a hint as to which direction I should go, but there wasn’t much to see other than the brown floor, and grey ceiling. Wait. I noticed an inlet in the side of the mound. Lacking any other leads, I decided to investigate.

The opening contained a door made of a material I didn't recognize, and surrounded by a wall made of wire. To my surprise the door was unlocked. It lead to a narrow passage that sloped downwards into the mound. The floor of the cave was suspiciously smooth compared to the jagged walls and ceiling. This lead me to believe it had been intentionally made flat for the sake of easy traversal. I eagerly started my descent.

I can not express how comforting it was to be back in a finite space. Locations should always have boundaries, that just made sense. The tunnel grew steadily darker until I was forced to reactivate my PipBuck light. My heart skipped a beat at what I saw. Just a few yards in front of me, the jagged cave walls were suddenly interrupted by the orderly stable architecture that I was accustomed to. In the center of this, there was an enormous gear emblazoned with the ever familiar numeral, sixteen. This was definitely progress.

The console standing to the side of the gear only had a single lever. My course of action was clear. I tentatively extended my hoof to grasp the handle, then paused for a moment. If I was lucky, and I mean extremely lucky, this might just be the end to all of my problems. First my amazing new abilities, then the water from nowhere, I just prayed that miracles really did come in threes. I nervously pulled the lever.

A red light lit up on the console, and the chamber reverberated with the sound of a buzzer. The buzzer was soul-crushing, but my immediate attention was captured by what I heard next. Hoofbeats.

I turned around to see an equine figure standing just outside the range of my light. “Thank Stable, you found me!” I called out, “I haven’t eaten in days. Can you help me get back inside?” The figure approached, and let out a hoarse growl. “Oh, um…,” I mumbled. “I’m sorry, did the buzzer wake you up? I didn’t mean to… ” That’s when I saw her face, at least what was left of it.

The pony was missing large strips of flesh, her coat was almost completely missing, and the skin she had left was discolored. If I had been thinking clearly, I would have probably tried to find out what was wrong with her, but this particular moment was the most terrifying I had ever experienced. Fortunately, this also happened to be one of the few times when my fear was proposing a better course of action than my logic; I bolted for the exit.
Back in the stable, I had come in dead last in every race I’d ever run, but in that moment I probably could have set the record for the hundred yard gallop. Unfortunately, the other pony’s screams weren’t getting any further away. I was almost at the surface. If I could just get the door closed behind me, I could hold it shut until I figured something out, or my pursuer got bored. Just another thirty feet. Twenty. Ten. I dived through the door and slammed it behind me.

It didn't shut.

The other pony had gotten a hoof into the door frame. I frantically tried to shove her flailing limb back inside. I felt a sharp pain in my leg. She bit me! I recoiled from the door in pain, and instantly realized my mistake. The crazed pony burst through the door. I ignored the immense amounts of pain, and the blood coming from my leg and kept running as fast I could. I had barely been able to outrun her before, and now that I had an injured leg, she caught me easily, and took a gaping bite out my hind legs. I collapsed onto the ground. Flight was out, which only left me with fight. I repeatedly flung my hooves into her as hard as I could. She was unfazed by the assault, I on the other hand was accumulating bite wounds at an alarming rate.

For the second time that day I realized I was going to die, though this time around the loss of blood prevented me from descending into another philosophical sinkhole. The edges of my vision were going black, and I was losing feeling in my limbs. When my desperate flailing subsided to wooziness, my attacker lunged at my throat for the killing blow.

*BANG!*

The last thing I saw before falling into unconsciousness was her head exploding into a spray of giblets and thick red paste.

Miracle number three.

Footnote: Level up!

New Perk Added: Intense Training-- The harsh trials that you've faced in the Equestrian wasteland have granted you a permanent +1 to endurance.

Author's Note

Remember to send any comments, question, compliments or complaints to FoE.Tactics@gmail.com

Seriously, any and all feedback is immensely appreciated.

Cross Roads

Chapter 3: Cross Roads

“We travel the road of generations
Joined by a common bond
We sing our song 'cross the pony nation
From Equestria and beyond!”

*Thump!*

My eyes opened with a jolt. I was pretty sure I wasn’t dead, but where was I? The only thing I could see from my current position was more of the weird grey smoke. I was lying on something lumpy, and felt myself being shaken rhythmically. A quick look around revealed I was in some kind of giant basket full of all kinds of bags and boxes. Beyond the basket I saw distant gray mounds steadily moving past. What the hell was going on?

Alright, stay calm and think back. The last thing I remembered was almost being mauled to death by a living corpse. Then there was a loud noise and her head exploded, and then… I don’t know. I must have passed out from blood loss. My wounds evidently hadn't been fatal, but they would still require some time to heal. So, why wasn’t I in any pain? Come to think of it, I felt downright good. How long had I been out?

I shifted positions to check my PipBuck. It had barely been three hours. I let out a confused puff of air, and a voice came back in reply. “Oh, hey. You awake back there?”

Another pony! One who could talk, and wasn’t trying to eat me! I turned around to see a tan buck sitting on the front of the strange contraption I was on. Behind him were two massive, brown …I don’t know, things. They were vaguely equine in shape… four legs, a tail, a head, another head- Okay, so not exactly equine. I filed them under ‘ask about later,’ and attempted to form a response. I only got as far as “Um... yeah…” before he interrupted.

“Glad to hear it. Name’s Lonesome Road."

"Please tell me-" I started, before a gurgle from my stomach rearranged my priorities, "Do you have any food? I haven't eaten in days."

“You’re lying on a bag of Sugar Apple Bombs, help yourself. Ten caps a box, of course.”

I had stopped listening after the words ‘apple,’ and ‘help yourself.’ I found the opening of the bag and inside were a dozen or so colorful rectangular boxes. Opening one of the boxes revealed a clear plastic bag full of small, yellowish puffs, which didn’t look remotely like food. Why would anypony store food in a bag, inside a box, inside another bag?

I ripped the bag open, and the smell hit my nose. The aroma was intoxicating. I had never smelled anything so sweet. And it wasn’t even the least bit sickly! The idea of eating something solid was unsettling, but the combination of odor and hunger won out. I stuck my muzzle into the bag, and scooped up a mouthful of puffs.

The smell was nothing compared to the taste. Every bite was like a crunchy burst of flavor. I didn't even care that food wasn't normally supposed to crunch. Three wonderful boxes later, my hunger was finally satiated, and I returned my attention to Lonesome Road.

I expressed my gratitude in a series of ‘thank you’s, while I tried to formulate which question to ask next. I had narrowed it down to ‘where am I,’ ‘what happened,’ and ‘why aren't I dead.’ Lonesome resumed speaking before I had decided.

“Well, let's see about how you can repay me.” he said, raising a hoof to his chin, “You ate three boxes so that's thirty caps off the bat. Now, I’d say two-hundred caps is more than a fair price for saving your life. The three healing potions from my stock are usually a hundred and twenty-five caps apiece, but I’ll just call it three fifty for the lot. And then the transportation out of the Barrens is gonna run you another seventy-five. Finally, I’m feeling generous, so I’m not even gonna charge you for the high caliber round I used on that ghoul, which brings your total to…. let’s see, carry the one… six hundred and fifty-five caps. Cash or barter?”

I just stared at him blankly, trying to make sense of his statement. We were somewhere called ‘the Barrens.’ He had apparently killed the ‘ghoul’ that was attacking me, with something called a ‘high caliber round.’ And based on their name I assumed that the ‘healing potions’ had been responsible for my current lack of injury. I guess that I technically had answers to all three of my original questions, but I was more confused than ever, none the less. And what the heck were these ‘caps’ he was demanding?

“Any time now, kid” He said impatiently.

Apparently I’d been staring at him for longer than I’d thought. I quickly said the first thing that came to mind “Please, I just want to go home.”

He completely ignored my question with one of his own “Bottle caps. Do you have any?” He asked the question slowly, over enunciating each syllable, as if I had a hearing problem.

“No.” I said waveringly, “Why would I?”

“What do you mean ‘why?’” He paused for a moment before his eyes widened in realization, “Wait a minute. Blue and yellow jumpsuit, metal thing on your foreleg, no idea about anything thing, You just got out of a stable, didn’t you?”

I hesitantly nodded in confirmation.

“Huh, well I’ll be damned. I've heard stories of you lot, but never thought I'd be welcoming one into the wasteland myself. Lesson one, I don’t know how you did things down there, but up here bottle caps are money, and you currently owe me six hundred and fifty-five of them, but I’m gonna give you a special ‘Welcome to the Equestrian Wasteland’ discount and lower that to an even five hundred, and I’ll even drop you back at your stable the next time I come through here.”

“B- But, I don’t have any caps.” I stammered.

“Well now, that is a problem.” he tsked, “See, most fellows in my situation would just chain you up, and send you off to Ferro to cover the debt. But I’m feeling nice so I’m gonna give you a chance to work it off. You help me move my merchandise and I’ll give you a ten percent cut. Now normally I wouldn’t trust anypony with less than no experience to peddle my wares for me, but if you really are from a stable, then that thing on your legs should be able to tell how much things are worth.”

His offer had sounded generous at first, but that last part dashed my hope. I probably should have just kept my mouth shut, but I informed him of the flaw in his plan anyway “But, PipBucks can’t do that.”

“Damn, seems I was fed some bad information. Well then you’re just gonna have to help me with the manual labor. For a two and a half percent cut of course. Sound fair?”

It didn’t, but the tone in his voice when he had mentioned chaining me up and sending me to Ferro told me I didn’t have much of a choice. “Alright.” I reluctantly agreed. “But you need to answer some of my questions.”

“Sure kid, shoot.”

I opened the floodgates in my mind and a torrent of questions poured out of my mouth, “How far does this place go? What’s that grey stuff above us? What did you do to that ghoul? What’s this thing we’re sitting on? And what are those brown things pulling it? Why did water fall from nowhere? Why does- mmmffff” My mouth was suddenly blocked by his hoof.

“Alright slow down there” He removed his hoof from my face. “Now give those to me again. One at a time.”

I returned to my first question, “How far does this place go?”

“The Barrens? It’s about twenty miles across.”

“Miles?” I repeated quizzically.

“Five thousand some-odd feet.”

This place was a hundred thousand feet across!? That was over fifty times the longest hallway in the stable, but at least it had an end. That was a little comfort restored. “What’s that grey thing above us?”

“What, you mean the sky?” His tone made it clear that this was obvious.

“Um, yeah I guess… What did you do to that… 'ghoul,' right?”

“Yeah, that was a ghoul, and I shot it with this.” he held up a small metal object. “It’s called a gun. Just bite down on this thing, and whatever this end is pointing at will die. Well not right away maybe, but hit ‘em enough times and they’ll go down.”

I made a mental note of that. “And what’s this thing we’re sitting on?”

“Seriously?” He looked dumbstruck, “Alright, kid, there’s fresh out of the stable, and then there’s you. Was your entire stable full of stupid gas or something?”

I ignored the insult, and simply said “Scout.”

“Huh?”

“Stop calling me ‘kid.’ My name is Scout.”

“Alright, Scout,” He said my name with exaggerated emphasis, “This here is a wagon. It’s used for moving heavy things long distances.”

“But what are those things pulling it?”

“Brahmin.” He replied, “There what you get when you mix cows and radiation.”

“Radiation?” I paused a moment then added “Cows?”

“Radiation’s this invisible stuff that’ll kill or mutate you if you’re exposed to too much of it. I don’t know, ask a scientist if you want the details,” he said with a shrug “And cows are a kind of animal, they’re pretty much Brahmin. ‘course they only got one head.”

“Animal?” I said sheepishly.

Lonesome face hoofed. “Goddess, what have I gotten myself into?”

***

Lonesome’s lessons got as far as what rocks were, before he instituted a five caps per question policy, and we mutually agreed to travel in silence for a while. It was during this period when the landscape suddenly changed to include sickly looking brown things (different sickly looking brown things from the ones pulling the wagon I mean.) Based on Lonesome’s explanation of what wood was, I gathered that these were trees. Why hadn’t we passed any until now? And why did they start so abruptly?

I was tempted to spend the five caps. It would only increase my debt by a measly one percent. But I knew that if I allowed myself even a single question I wouldn’t be able resist a follow up, and pretty soon my debt would have doubled. I didn’t know how long it would take to pay it off as it was, but one thing was sure, I had to get back to the stable before my week was up. I hadn’t thought to check the time when Jubilee sent me into the under-stable, but it had been a little after the renewal so probably around one in the afternoon. It was currently half past eleven, which meant that I needed to be back at the entrance to the tunnel in five days and ninety minutes. Adding in the fact that Lonesome had said the trip took six and a half hours, meant that I only had four days and nineteen hours to pay off my debt.

But this was all assuming that Jubilee intended to let me back in at all. I had trusted her to leave food for me, but she never did. Was it possible that she’d lied to me? Just sent me off to die? It made an uncomfortable amount of sense. With my dangerous and unexplained abilities I was definitely a potential threat to the stable, and I had to admit that tricking me into voluntarily separating myself from the other residents and then just letting me starve, would be a rather clever plan for dealing with an unknown entity such as myself. Jubilee wasn’t my real mother. She’d only even adopted me as part of her service to the stable as a whole. Why should I expect to be higher on her priority list than the entire rest of the stable? But still, as cold as she acted when she was the Overmare, I knew the real her. The real Jubilee. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t picture Jubilee doing something so heartless. In the end I trusted her, and when my week was up I was going to be at the bottom of that staircase and there wasn't a damned thing anypony could do to stop me!

The wagon came to a stop.

"Huh!? Why are we stopping?" I asked

Lonesome came back "It's getting late. The Brahmin need to sleep and so do I"

"But it's only four o'clock"

"Four o'clock?" Lonesome pointed to a hoof to sky and asked "Your clock must be slow. does that look like four o'clock to you?"

I simply shrugged.

"Right, forgot the sky's a new concept for you. Here's a tip, if it's dark that means it's night."

The sky automatically got dark when it was time to sleep? That seemed oddly convenient for the wasteland, almost benevolent. Maybe there was a chance this place wasn’t all bad after all. Okay, a slim chance. Wait. A thought occurred. “How dark does it get?”

“Don’t worry, it won’t go pitch black. At its darkest, you’ll still be able to see your hoof in front of your face, but that’ll be about it.”

“Every night?” I inquired.

“Every night.” He nodded, paused, and made an addendum, “Well, Sometimes you get lucky and the pegasi will leave a small hole in the clouds. And if you’re really lucky you might even get some direct moon light. On those nights it doesn’t get much darker than it is now.”

“Wait,” I said horrified “are you saying there are things above the sky?”

“Well, the sky just kinda keeps going and going, but if you mean the clouds, then yeah. There’s whole cities of those pegasi bastards up there.” Lonesome pointed his hoof up a spot on the clouds that was slightly lighter than the rest “Then past that there’s the moon, a big white rock that supposed to be as big as all of Equestria. Past that-”

“Wait,” I interrupted, “how big is Equestria?”

“Two thousand miles across, give or take.”

Two. Thousand. Miles. Each words hit me like a ton of bricks. That was ten million feet, and I had an uncomfortable suspicion that he hadn’t misspoken. “But you said the surface was only twenty miles across.”

“Huh?” Lonesome looked genuinely taken aback “No, the Barrens are. You must have gotten confused.”

I decided to make sure this issue was settled once and for all. “But, Equestria, that’s all there is right?”

“Sorry, nope. There’s also the Zebra Lands, the Gryphon Kingdom, Dragon Territory, a few other smaller places. and a whole lot of ocean.” He quickly elaborated, “The ocean’s a big thing of salty water.”

“But that’s it, right?” I asked, feeling smaller than I ever had before.

“Yep, that’s the whole world.” Lonesome assured me.

“And just to be clear: what happens if you get to the edge” I would not allow for further miscommunication.

“There isn’t an edge” Lonesome said matter of factly.

“What!? But how? Does it go on forever or not?” I was almost starting to suspect that my supposed guide was making a game of feeding me as much misinformation as he could, to see how much I would accept.

“The world doesn’t go on forever, but there isn’t an edge either. Walk far enough and you end up back where you started, see the worlds round”

"What?" I gasped. "We're on a sphere?" I took a second to form my rebuttal, "No. That can't be true. Even if we started at the very top, I should be able to notice us starting to go downhill by now. You’re screwing with me, aren't you?”

Lonesome seemed almost offended by my accusation. “I assure you, I am not. See, there’s a problem with your logic. No matter how far you go, down always points towards the ground.”

Was he seriously claiming that something as fundamental and constant as down could change? I just couldn't get my mind around it. But that didn't mean it was wrong. After all, just a few days ago I wouldn't have been able to get my mind around the concept 'outside.' Of course, my narrow mindedness didn't prove him right either, so I was still free to reject his claim. “That's ridiculous. Down is down. Always.”

"Well suit yourself, doesn't make a difference to me what you believe, just so long as you pay for all ten of those questions"

Crap. I'd forgotten about that. Had I really asked that many questions just now? I decided not to dispute the number. I was already suspicious of Lonesome's honesty. He was clearly a shrewd business pony, but he was also holding all the cards. The unfortunate truth was that he knew where my stable was and I didn't. Until that changed, he had total power over me. I would have to do my best to stay on his good side. "Alright, five hundred and fifty caps," I said, my reluctance poorly concealed.

"Great. Now I'm going to sleep and you’re gonna start earning your keep. I usually have to make this whole trip in one stretch, but tonight I’ve got myself a look out. Wake me up if you see anything dangerous." Lonesome lay down out of sight, before rising back up a few moments later to add "Oh, and by the way, anypony else qualifies as dangerous."

"Wait!" I began to protest.

"Sorry, can't hear you. I'm asleep."

I decided not to disturb him further, even if it meant spending the next few hours alone with my thoughts; I had always been good at that, and I certainly had enough to think about.

***

The sky was just beginning to regain some of its color (that is to say, grey) when I noticed the silhouette of something moving in the distance. I squinted my eyes but couldn't make out any details other than that it was getting closer.

Were vague silhouettes considered dangerous? If so I should definitely wake up Lonesome. But on the other hoof, I really didn't want to disturb his sleep with a false alarm, and that thing in the distance could be literally anything. Considering how little I knew about this place, it could just as easily have been a pack of those ghoul things as, say, a six-legged pony with a purple polka-dotted mane and shooting stars coming out of his eyes. Though, come to think of it, if it were the latter, it would still technically be another pony. Lonesome had explicitly said those should be considered dangerous.

I was suddenly aware that the silhouette was much closer than it had been a moment ago, and I was just able to make out a few equine forms. Well that settled it. I shook Lonesome awake.

“Gah! What is it?" Lonesome said in a startled daze.

“That!" I pointed to the increasingly well defined ponies charging towards us.

Lonesome was instantly wide awake, and clutching his gun within seconds. “Raiders.” he spat distastefully around the grip of his firearm. “Looks like five or six of them. Mostly just armed with blunt instruments, between the two us us we should be fine." Lonesome reached into a bag and passed me a gun. "You remember how to use this?"

He didn't wait for my response.

"Start shooting as soon they get close, and don't stop til they're all dead. Got it? Good."

I looked dumbfounded at the device in my hooves. Was he seriously telling me to start killing other ponies? I hadn't agreed to that. "Wait, why are-" the rest of my sentence was cut off by the sound of his gun firing. This was really happening. I was traveling with a homicidal maniac!

The raiders didn't seem like they were in a reasonable mood. This probably had something to do with the body of their comrade that Lonesome had already downed. I doubted that they would give me time to explain my innocence. It looked like I was stuck fighting for my life with a lunatic.

"What are you waiting for!?" Lonesome bellowed, "Shoot!"

Obediently, I lined up a shot, gulped, and bit down on the trigger.

*BANG!*

I was prepared for the noise, but I hadn't expected the gun to forcefully ram itself backwards into my face. In addition to giving me a nasty shock, the kick completely threw off my aim.

Lonesome made another fatal shot and a second raider fell, but at this point the remaining four had already reached us and were slamming against our wagon, again, and again. We were shaking too violently for either of us to aim, and the raiders kept bucking the cart further and further off balance until it tipped over completely, spilling its contents onto the ground.

Lonesome scrambled for his gun, but the raiders were on him in seconds. I had time to retrieve my own from the wagon wreckage. It seemed the raiders were ignoring me, at least for the moment. I turned back to Lonesome. He was putting up a fight, but his attackers were armed with baseball bats and pipes. He wouldn't be able to hold out much longer.

I lined up a shot, but couldn't bring myself to pull the trigger. I couldn't just end another pony's life like this. Could I? My eyes were welling up with tears as tried to make a decision.

From deep inside the melee, Lonesome look up at me. Half of his face was bashed in, and he was completely bathed in blood. His remaining eye still shone, pleading with my very soul. I tightened my grip on the gun, took a deep breath, and ran for my life.

There was one last crack, and the beating stopped.

***

I raced across the wasteland, with the raiders close behind. I pumped my legs as hard as I could, until my muscle felt like molten lead. My lungs burned with every gasp, and my eyes teared in the wind, but I refused to slow. I didn’t hear them behind me anymore, I’m not sure I had for some time, but I kept running. If I stopped I would have to think about everything that had just happened, but every frantic step delayed the inevitable just a little longer. I ran until my legs refused to carry me any further, and dropped me unceremoniously onto my face. I didn't even bother getting up. I just lay sprawled, sobbing into the dirt.

He had trusted me to keep watch, but I hesitated to wake him up until they were right on top of us. He had asked me to help him fend them off, but I barely managed to fire a single shot. He had begged me to save his life, but I ran for my own. He was dead, because was I a coward. I had the chance to save his life but I left him to die. I chose my safety over his life. A decision that could have been avoided entirely if I’d just woken him up at the first sign of trouble. If he hadn’t met me he wouldn’t have even been asleep in the first place. He saved my life, and in returned I got him killed. Lonesome Road was dead. I’d never even seen his cutie mark.

This wasn’t the first time I’d experienced death first hand. I was present when Jubilee’s mother passed away. Peacefully. Surrounded by loved ones. Dignity intact. Not like this. Lonesome’s death was so senseless, so brutal. Was that just how things worked out here? If so, that was just one more reason I had to return to the stable as quickly as possible. That was what was important now. I needed to keep moving forward. I lifted myself up with renewed purpose. I was determined to raise the money I needed to pay off my debt to-

Lonesome was dead…

The contents of my stomach somehow found their way to the ground. When I ran away, I gave up my only chance of ever getting home again. Something in my mind snapped, and I fell to the ground in a fit of choked sobbing and manic laughter. Half mad, trapped in an endless hellscape, and convulsing violently in my own vomit, this was my life now. As if on cue, I noticed the faint sound of cheery music, a perfect compliment to the tableau of insanity. What can I say? At least madness had nice sound track.

BZZT!<<

The music ended abruptly and was replaced by a tinny, inequine voice, “Are you alright?” I looked towards the direction of the sounds and saw a metal orb, hovering several feet off the ground.

“Yep, Just peachy!” I quipped sarcastically.

The metal ball floated silently for a few seconds before replying “Are you sure? Because I can tell from your barding that you’re from a stable, so I can understand why you might be kind of overwhelmed right now.”

My ears shot up at his mention of stables. “Do you know how I can get back to Stable sixteen!?” I asked desperately.

“Sorry, not off hand. Can’t your PipBuck lead you there?”

My ears returned to their folded and hopeless position. “This piece of crap? This thing doesn’t even tell the right time.” Despite my agitated state, I couldn’t help wondering why ponies kept overestimating the capabilities of my PipBuck.

“Hmm… Maybe if you tell me how you got lost out here, I can offer some advice.”

What did I have to lose? “Alright.” I took a deep breath and relayed my story in thorough detail.

***

When I had finished, the ball had a single question, “You just left him there to die?”

In lieu of answer, I shamefully directed my gaze downward

“I see.” The strange floating device suddenly made another buzzing noise then resumed playing music, before lazily floating away.

“Wait!” I called out, “I still need your help.”

The ball didn’t respond.

“Hey! Come back!”

Again, no reaction.

Now, I consider myself a relatively even tempered pony, but in that moment being completely ignored made me see red. Anger was more comfortable than despair. I rose to my hooves and chased after the hovering bastard. Despite my pursuit, the ball didn’t break its leisurely pace, and I was able to catch up in seconds. I lept into the air and tackled it to the ground. I still wasn’t sure what exactly I was trying to achieve, but began pounding on the device’s metal shell nonetheless. “Talk to me!” The ball just kept playing its increasingly infuriating music.

I continued to wail on the hard metal surface until my hooves were sore, but eventually my efforts were rewarded. The music buzzed off and the strange voice returned. “You do realize that I’m not actually here, right? Sprite-bots are basically just mobile intercoms.”

I released the sprite-bot from my grasp. I hadn’t expect that to work and was at loss for what to do next. My hesitation allowed the mysterious voice to continue.

“Look, you’re just not the kind of pony I have an interest in. But there’s a settlement just a little ways in that direction.” The sprite-bot jerked distinctly to one side, “Maybe you can find someone to help you there.” With that the sprite-bot began floating away again, much more quickly this time, and without any music.

I sighed and began walking in the direction the sprite-bot had indicated.

***

I walked so long without any change in scenery that I began to worry that the sprite-bot, had just been bluffing to secure its freedom. Just as this idea was progressing from stray thought to genuine concern, I spotted a wall on the horizon and broke into an excited trot.

As I approached the wall a pony made entirely of metal greeted me in voice only slightly more natural sounding than the sprite-bot, "Welcome to MegaSpark, traveler, I'm deputy Clank."

Long past the point of being phased by something as simple as a metallic pony, I introduced myself as well. "Hi, I'm Scouts Honor. May I enter?"

"Certainly," Clank replied, "I just need to hold onto all of your weapons for the duration of your stay."

"I don't have any weapons," I said, assuming that the gun I’d abandoned during my encounter with the sprite-bot didn’t count.

“I’m sorry but, I can’t let you in unless your surrender all of your weapons,”

“Wait, what?” I attempted to reiterate, “I just said, I don’t have any.”

“According to Section three, paragraph one, of the MegaSpark town charter, ‘Any party seeking entry into the town walls, must surrender all firearms and any other weapons, for the entirety of their stay, unless otherwise authorized by the sheriff, or by a sitting member of the town council.’”

There was definitely something off about this pony (though to be fair he could very well have been typical for a metal pony,) I decided to alter my approach. “I have no weapons, therefore the zero weapons that I’ve given you constitutes all of my weapons, and thus according to the town charter I should be granted entrance.”

Clank, took a second to respond, just long enough to get my hopes up, before replying “Incorrect. You have not given me any quantity of weapons, therefore you have not given me zero.”

“I- but- what!?” This was going nowhere. I briefly considered trekking all the way back to where I’d left my gun, but luckily the gate on the wall picked that moment to start opening on its own. A brown mare in a wide brimmed hat, and a star shaped cutie mark, stepped through the opening.

“It’s alright Clank, I authorize him to enter.” The mare turned to me and continued speaking, “Howdy. Name’s Starshot, I’m the sheriff ‘round here and-” She suddenly scrunched her nose in disgust, “Goddess! Have you been rollin’ around in vomit!?”

Footnote: Level up!

New Perk Added: High Ho Silver, Away! --You’re a fan of cardio and sprints, especially if said sprints are done away from the direction from which the bullets are flying. Your movement speed is increased by 20%

Author's Note

Well, that took a long time to get published. I've actually had it written for a while, I just hit an editing bottle neck. I still have an editor who hasn't gotten back to me yet, so there might be minor changes to this chapter in the near future.

Anyway, big thanks to anyone who's stuck with me. Hopefully Chapter 4 will come out more quickly.

As always, send any comments, question, compliments or complaints to FoE.Tactics@gmail.com, and if you tell me about a typo I'll give you a shout out in the next chapter's authors note.