Waking Up In Equestria

by omnifire

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Luna, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Adventure, Princess Celestia, Human, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other
Length: 9298

I have never wanted to have to use a journal but if I want to record the crazy stuff that happens where I am I might as well start now. Hi my name is Jonathan and this is the story of how I was thrown into Equestria . This my first sto

I have never wanted to have to use a journal but if I want to record the crazy stuff that happens where I am I might as well start now.

Hi my name is Jonathan and this is the story of how I was thrown into Equestria .

This my first story so constructive criticism is very much approved

Published 2014-08-08 03:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2017-08-30 06:42:52 UTC

How not to react to realizing you're in equestria

I wake up groggily to immediately find out that I was not in bed, in fact I wasn't even in my house, the feeling of grass on my back being the reason.
Realizing that this could mean that I could of been robbed then knocked out with no remembrance of the event I quickly sat up in the clearing I was in and frantically felt around my head for injuries . Upon finding none I mentally crossed that possibility out. Still, I checked everything. While I was checking I couldn't help but feel as if I was being watched , I ignored it and continued to check my belongings thinking that it was probably just a deer.

Finding all my possessions on me (thank god) I decided to look around the forest that surrounded the clearing I was in on all sides but as I got up something caught my attention . I swear Something yellow moved rapidly in my peripheral vision .

" The fuck?"

My eyes flicked over to the spot and I could just barely see a yellow shape hiding with two other very hard to see
colorful blobs next to it in a patch of dense bushes located along the border of the meadow I was in .I felt something in the back of my mind trying to push forward but I held it back. Concentrating on advancing toward what ever those things were. But before I could get close enough to them to see details they bolted into the foliage .

Deciding it wouldn't be worth it to give chase I went back to looking around , planning on finding the closest civilization and asking where the hell I was.

Something was familiar about the colors of the animals that I saw.

Red and yellow...

Orange and Purple...

I didn't get to see the third one except for the white fur that it had.

ˍ/|\_30 minutes earlier_/|\ˍ

"Dang ah cant believe that didn't work". Said Apple Bloom as she and the Cutie Mark Crusaders walked down the path from Zecora's hut towards Ponyville each sporting slightly scorched hair.

"I know!" said a frustrated Scootaloo. "I really thought that we would get our cutie marks in potion making".

"We almost had it too." Said a disappointed Sweetie Belle. "Until it decided to blow up." The three continued walking until Apple Bloom asked.

"Hey girls, do yall hear that?"

"Hear what?" questioned Sweetie Belle.

"That swirlin noise." Answered Apple Bloom ." Almost like a really strong wind but without fellin it , like its jus' the noise."

"Wait, yeah I do" said Scootaloo. " But it isn't swirling ,it sounds more like a wind cloud you know like from a single point"

" I still don't hear it ." Sweetie said confused "And what is a wind cl-" Sweetie was interrupted as a loud POP
went off.

"Whoa, What the hay was that!?" Exclaimed Scoots "We have to check out what that was."

"Ah dunno" Sweetie belle said slightly nervous.

"Aww come on Sweetie" Said Scoots ", If theirs an animal that's hurt or if any pony is injured we might get our cutie marks as rescue ponies."

"That's a good idea, " Said Sweetie now encouraged to get her cutie mark. "Lets do it!"

"Cutie Mark Crusader RESCUE PONIES!" they all cheered at once.

"Ah think ah saw a flash over there." AppleBloom said pointing to a clearing in the trees. But as the three approached they saw something that they had never seen before .

"What is that?" Sweetie wondered out loud.

"Quick Hide!" Apple Bloom whispered hurriedly. All three quickly dived into the nearest bush .

"Why are we in here?" Scootaloo questioned.

"Ah think whatever that thing is, made th' noise we heard." Whispered Apple Bloom

"You really think it did?" Asked a Frightened Sweetie Belle.

"The fuck?" The girls froze as the heard the creature . they turned to see it moving towards them.

"Go go go !" whispered Scootaloo in a panic as the three galloped toward town.

ˍ/|\_Present_/|\ˍ

"Finally!" I thought with excitement . I had been searching for what seemed like hours and I finally had found civilization.It appeared to be a very large Apple Orchard . The thing at the back of my mind re-doubled its effort in trying to get to the front but I shoved it down. Instead concentrating on finding the Owner of this orchard.

"I need to know where I am, I already would be out of this mess if my damn I Phone would've connected to the internet." I thought to my self angrily. " would've gotten on Google maps and been home... or at least known where I was.I recalled my phone not connecting.

"Yes there's the house!" I thought to myself with excitement and relief as I saw a barn with the main house close by. I had eaten a few apples on the way for breakfast and was surprised when I saw the barn after I had eaten the last one .

"Ok lets get an ide-WHAT THE FUCK?!?" I screamed in my mind then dove into cover as I saw something that scared the shit out of me . The thing in the back of my mind finally shoving its way to the front and screaming its head off .

That's Applejack!

And She wasn't even 5 meters away. Suddenly I could hear hooves steps approaching from the deeper into the orchard, opposite of where Apple Jack was
" Shit Big Mac is coming over I got to get the hell out of here I know they don't like trespassers!" I thought with alarm. I then carefully started trying to creep around Apple Jack

" Almost got it almost got it".I said as I quietly sneaked around AppleJack towards the barn and hopefully out of the orchard. I spared a glance at Apple Jack to see where she was.

"Good" I whispered still looking towards her while walking "Almost there just a few more st-" CLANK !

"Whos there!, no trespassers!"

... "Shit." I muttered quietly as I lifted my foot up to try to take it off and finding it lodged on my shoe and realizing that I wouldn't have enough time to take it off ." yep totally stuck dammit." I whispered, I tried to creep away as quiet as I could .
clank... clank ... clank

"Ah can hear you!" I heard Apple Jack yell followed by the sound of Galloping .
Clank! Clank! Clank! Clank! Clank!. I ran as fast as I could all the while wondering how hell the bucket made so much noise on the soft grass.

After 5 minutes of running in circles in a panic and weaving in between trees I lost her, but just barely. Breathing hard feeling like I was about to collapse then be split in half due to the horrendous stomach cramps caused by running right after I had eaten. I leaned against the tree I was behind and quickly tried to form a plan of action to get away.

"Ahm gonna find you!" Applejack called out

10 seconds of panicked thinking later I had a plan

I hastily grabbed at the bucket and peaked around the tree to see where she was.To my relief Applejack currently had her back to me and was searching every tree. I had a little bit of time , I kept pulling and it finally painfully came off softly. I peaked again and she was closer, much closer. I went around the opposite side of the surprisingly thick tree and took aim at a tree that was a ways behind her.

" 3" I counted down in my mind. "2...1 now!" I chucked it it sailed perfectly. (problem is right when I threw it she somehow heard it) her head shot my way and she saw me . then the bucket started to fall ,sailing into the tree and bouncing with a loud CLANG!, her head then shot to the side and she saw the bucket shooting towards her. She tried to dodge but it was to late.

The bucket slapped right into her face open side first covering her head.

"shit!" I yelled as I sprinted away and out of the orchards knowing that she was no doubt RAGING so much that she might kill me if I stayed any longer .suddenly the bucket shot past my head and into a nearby barn I was about to pass

The bucket blasted A FUCKING HOLE through the door.

"IM GONNA GIT YOU FOR THAT YA VAR-MITT!"

"Yep She's definitely raging."

Not realizing my mistake of running out into the open I kept going only realizing it was a mistake when she started to catch up. But it wasn't to late as I reached the door to the entrance of the barn and Yes! it opened on a hinge.so ripped it open (surprisingly easily) as I ran by with an enraged Applejack literally diving to tackle me. She had no way to dodge the open barn door that was on a collision course with her face

BANG! she hit it and hit it hard I heard her hit the ground and not move, so I walked cautiously up and peeked around the door

There Applejack lay, and lay she did, She was out cold, I chuckle as I realize the she will no doubt look like a unicorn from the swelling . But knowing that she was only temporarily out I went as fast as I could (which was a half jog) for a while then walked as I got on the trail to Ponyville.

I didn't really know where to go from there. Definitely couldn't go to the Everfree knowing the monsters it holds.
And I couldn't go to Ponyville because that's a horrible idea because of what I did.

ˍ/|\_ Rainbow Dash_/|\ˍ

"Ugh where is She?" Rainbow Dash asked to no pony in particular as she waited for AppleJack. She was supposed to meet at the east orchards with Rainbow Dash to see a technique that Rainbow made up to help with her Apple bucking

what would happen is she would fly up into the air doing aerial acrobatics and fly down at the apple trees at an angle and when she gets to the trees shell pull up at the speed of sound and at the low point she'd break the sound barrier sending a shock wave that will knock a bunch of apples off the trees and into barrels.

But she wasn't there and she couldn't do the trick unless she was there.

"Whats taking her so long?" Rainbow Dash thought to herself ."She couldn't be delayed by of Anypony, everypony else is busy.

Pinkie was preparing for a huge party for some random pony named Jonathan .Twilight said she had to do a huge list of chores for the new castle, the first was finding the emergency bunker in the original tree and find the list of every book she had in the old one and order said books from Canterlot . Rarity was making a dress for a important fashion show.And Fluttershy ... she didn't know what Fluttershy was doing. And Applejack didn't like trespassers ,But AppleJack was late.

"Maybe she forgot " Rainbow Dash thought to herself."Looks like im gonna have to go remind her".
said Rainbow as she took off flying lazily through the air but stops as she spots her half way there and fly's down to meet her . Upon landing she notices something .

"Whoa AppleJack what happened to your fa-"

"Well talk about that later but right now ah need yer help" Interjected an annoyed sounding AppleJack.

"What do you need help with?"Asked Rainbow dash unable to take her eyes off the lump on AppleJacks for head that seemed to grow as she stared at it

"Ah need you to fly up and look for the varmit that did this to mah face, an' ah want ya to catch em and bring em here" Answered AppleJack "He looks like a ape but with hair only on its head,and its wearing clothing. An don' giv' em any chances to escape. "

"Thanks ill get right to it AppleJack !" Replied Rainbow right before she rose and rocketed off with one thought and a small snicker, AppleJack looked like a unicorn .

ˍ/|\_ ▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓_/|\ˍ

As I walked down the dirt road towards Ponyville it had been almost 2 hours and I still couldn't think of what to do or where to go.
I was getting close the welcome to Ponyville sign. It was only about fifteen feet away. Not really being hungry due to the Apples I ate at the orchard before the escape. I was preoccupied with that when I heard the sound of air whistling above and behind me . Already knowing the possibility of who it was I immediately jumped to my side narrowly dodging Rainbow dash as she barrels past me and almost hits a house. I couldn't help but say "nope" as she was going by. I immediately ran around the house dodging another attempt at a tackle.

I am forced to go into Ponyville because of Rainbow dash cornering me and blocking any path of escape to anywhere else, so I start sprinting as I make a mad dash to the bridge and cross it, entering the town market.
Vaulting over food carts and sliding under pony's all while dodging diving and dipping to avoid a deadly Rainbow dash.

Then seemingly out of nowhere Pinkie appeared Right in front of me . "Woah Shit! I exclaim as I narrowly dodge around her. Then im forced to jump as Rainbow shoots under me and smashes into a food cart. (But unknowingly to me she clipped me in the back of the leg) . I stumble trying to doge the the flying projectiles from the food cart just barely making it. I try to run again but suddenly a searing pain shoots up my leg . I try to ignore it so I can continue, but I only get 10 paces forward before I look up and my view fills with brown. Then everything goes Black.

Author's Note

Thank you for reading . Since this is my first story don't expect a chapter within the next day or two

The Wake up

Author's Note

I am having some technical difficulty's with my computer (which is why the chapter is so short) I hope to resolve the issue but it might take awhile.
.

The Wake up

I have had some crazy experiences before, but this tops the list.
Waking up into a world without memories of the night before , Then finding out that the world I woke up in is inhabited with characters from a cartoon that had ended so long ago that I had forgotten about it. And proceeding to freak out and somehow manage to not only knock out one of the main six, but trash the entire town of Ponyville in the process.

And then get knocked out.

But I didn't know that yet because at this time I had just woken up

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I slowly wake up to the realization that I couldn't see ... or move, accompanied by a headache that would make the very definition of hangover flinch. I start to panic until it all came painfully rushing back.

The chase through Sweet apple acres, knocking AppleJack out with a open door, dodging Rainbow Dash and demolishing Ponyville in the process.

It was at that point I heard muttering, very familiar muttering. I could only make out some sections of sentences when ever they would raise their voice.

"We don't know what .... thing is"

"Ah say we..."

At this point I decided to roll over so I could hear better, which doesn't help much.

"I still don't understand... able to dodge me ... not Derpy's package "

Now I start trying to roll forward, not knowing that only 4 feet away Spike was just waking up in a chair from the noise to see the brown sack containing me rolling across the floor

"Uhh Twilight?" I froze as Spike asked " I think its awake."

I heard hoofsteps approaching and tried to stay as still as possible ,when suddenly the sack was lifted and my view was filled with the very angry green eyes of AppleJack . She then rose her foreleg to hit me in the face , but I was way ahead of her. I dodged in just the nick of time by moving my head to avoid the hoof. It still nicked my ear ,and that hurt. a lot .

"Fuck!"

I rolled as she tried to hit me again starting a sort of chase that lasted for about ten seconds before Twilight picked me up and held me still. She also restrained Applejack setting her in a chair . Saving me from a powerful kick to the gut. The full realization of being here finally starting to set in as I floated in Twilight's magic.

"Did that thing just talk?" Twilight asked confused but with excitement boiling underneath.

"No it didn't" Said Rainbow Dash skeptically " Gilda used to have a Parrot that could repeat all that and more."

Meanwhile I was sort of out of it , lost in the shock wave that came from the full realization hitting me ""How is this possible? I gave up on that dream a long time ago . And now its true. After that I knew what to say, I knew exactly what to say. I opened my mouth to speak and looked at Twilight. But then I heard a gasp from Twilight and I looked to my right.

Just in time to see two orange legs slam into my stomach.

Dealing with social Awkwardness

The first feeling to be felt when I woke up for the second time was pain , so much pain.
Ugh what the hell happened? Then again it all came rushing back.

My eyes snapped open so survey my surroundings and sure enough .I was still there ,and it wasn't a dream . Suddenly a voice derailed my train of thought .

Hi! exclaimed an exited PinkiePie that was uncomfortably close to my face.

"Uhh hi?" I asked cautiously . Pinkie gasped then exclaimed

"So you can talk!"

"Okay off to a great start , now if there are no inter-" I started in my mind until Twilight entered the room.

"Pinkie!, How did you ... ugh never mind." sighed Twilight

"Twilight you wont believe it!" said pinkie energetically " Jonathan can talk!"

"How the hell does she know my name?!" I screamed in thought.

"I don't think so Pinkie" Said Twilight Skeptically, but before she could continue I interrupted

"Yes I can talk Twilight ". I quickly said without knowing I said her name "And uh could you untie me, its really uncomfortable. I Muttered the last part , it was really awkward with them staring at me like that. Pinkie smiling so widely it looked like the top of her head would fall off and Twilight staring at me with wide eyes in a far out look.

Oh and sorry I didn't mention this, but it was the next day, about 6:48AM. And the bad thing about that was ... I had a alarm set for 6:50AM .

So After I was untied im sitting there ,trying to come up with something to say so I could break this awkward silence, Then It goes off

Hoodie Allen Joy & Misery

They stare at me even more intensely trying to find out where the noise is coming from , I fumble around in my pockets searching for my I Phone .Finally finding it I shut off the alarm and Try to put it back into my pocket . But before I get the chance Twilight Asked .

" What is that?"

Finally seeing an opening for some actual conversation I answered "Its a device that plays music and... does other things"

I showed an example of that by playing You are not a robot

Pinkie started to bob her head to the song While Twilight just listened . I snicked slightly when I realized twilight looked out of it ,like she just smoked a joint .

At the end of the song I heard the window open and in flew Rainbow Dash lazily, that is. Untill she saw me, then she dove .Me having almost nowhere to go got tackled .
( It hurt )

"Ow! Get off me! " I say as she tries to hold me down

"Twilight get the rope and retie hi-" Rainbow stops as she realized what she just heard

"Did that thing just talk?"

" Yeah now get off of me " I said " And Im not a 'thing' I am a human being"

"Oh yeah and why should I?" Asked Rainbow menacingly .

"Because, this!" As I say that I kneed rainbow dash into the stomach while she was temporarily stunned I shoved her off of me.

Quickly both me and Rainbow were restrained by Twilight as she separated us .

"Now , we are going to have a meeting with the rest of our friends and after then we will decide what to do". said Twilight

"Till then I want you to stay secure " After Twi said that I was rapped in magic and then left on a couch . the force field trapping me from moving. And some thing else started creeping up .
Exhaustion, as I lost the battle sleep over came me and off to the dream realm I went.

Author's Note

The Technical Difficulty's with my computer are starting to get worse but I will still try to post .

The Decision

The Decision

The next morning

I wake up with a refreshed feeling and try to stretch, but I couldn't move I tried opening my eyes and realized I was blind .After a small panic attack I remember where I was and what was going on, then I could hear a voice startled me from off to my left .

"Great your awake! Spoke Twilight as she rotated the floating bubble I was in to view the main six, and spike.

"About time." Grumbled a bored sounding Rainbow dash. Twilight, ignoring the multicolored Pegasus continued . "Now since we still cant really trust you we decided that during the questioning we will keep you in the bubble that you are in until you can be trusted." After She said that she floated me up into a sitting position and kept me there.

"Ok,spike write all this down. said Twilight, then we started. "So first off where did you come from?" Questioned Twilight . Exited to learn about a new race, and Already knowing that I could speak their language.

"Earth" I said followed by the sound of a pen scribbling . I still found it confusing that they were excepting me so quickly.

Twilight then lifted my iPhone into the air. "And what is this" She asked me .

"It is a device known as a I Phone that lets you listen to music, play games and many other things." I said a little bit more confidently.

"Could you give us an example?" She said floating it over to me . Confident I couldn't do anything in the bubble she put me in. Deciding it would be funny to mess around with them as soon as she gave me the mobility to move I sneakily pulled the Lazer pointer I had in my shirt pocket out (pretending I was pulling my IPhone to my chest.) And clicked it on while looking at the phone. out of the corner of my eye I saw Rainbow Dash's head snap to it .

"Hey Uh girls do you see that?" She asked while staring straight at the dot. the rest of the main six turning their heads to see what she was talking about saw it too.

"Yeah" said Twilight. "What is that?

"Ah don't know " Said a confused Applejack. Snickering quietly I moved it quickly over about a foot watching with barely contained laughter as there heads all moved to follow it. Then I clicked it off.

"Where did it go!?" Asked Rainbow dash confused.

"Its gone" Said Twilight . "We need to get back on track". As they turned their heads toward me I couldn't help but to burst out laughing.

5 Minutes Later

After that bout of laughing and explaining to them what happened they also shared a quick laugh . But then we quickly got back on track.

Giving them an example of the music on the device I played a few songs.

Arkasia - Pandemonium

Arkasia - New World Disorder

MitiS - Written Emotions

After the songs ended they huddled up and I could hear muttering . After they were done they separated and looked to me.

"After some debate ,me and my friends have decided that you can be trusted." Said Twilight

"What?!?" I exclaimed in my mind.

The force -bubble whatever dissipated and I was given full mobility. Not deciding to question them I stayed on the couch. Then Twilight said.

" Since you don't have a house to stay at you will have to sleep here." Said Twilight sympathetically." and whats your name by chance ? "she asked

" You can just call me John" I said Casually

"Okay John . For now well have Pinkie give you a tour of the town ."

1 Hour Later

"That's the town!" Exclaimed Pinkie Happily. "Oh! I almost forgot Applejack wants you over so she can apologize. ". Pinkie then sped off into her bakery .

"Probably to plan my surprise party." I said to myself as I started on my way to the apple farm Pinkie having showed me the way.
A small amount of time later I was walking down the street Towards Applejack's When I couldn't help but feel as if I was being followed. I slowly pulled out my I Phone and held it so that I could see who was behind me And not to my surprise Lyra Heart strings was following me.

Giving an annoyed Sigh I turned a corner into the apple trees and kept walking I held up the makeshift mirror and yep she was still there . so I decided to try and lose her. I turned another corner into a dense patch of trees and climbed up one making sure she couldn't see me . And sure enough she passed right under me.

After she passed I waited a while and then jumped of and landed softly in the grass. A small amount of time later I was at the house I walked up to the door and knocked a few seconds later the door opened to reveal Applebloom .

"Hi is Applejack ho- before I was able to finish the door slammed in my face followed by a scream and running . A few more seconds later applejack answered.

"Hey John! " Said Applejack Joyfully ." Sorry Bout Applebloom ah don't know whats gotten inta her." Applejack then said apologetically.

"Its fine" I said "She probably never saw me before and was scared by my appearance."

"Yeah she does do that alot ." Applejack chuckled " Well anyway I wanted to Apologize for kicking ya in the gut so here ." Applejack han-hoofed me a apple pie .

"Thanks Applejack " I said gratefully .

"Well ah better go an see if she Applebloom is okay " said Applejack

"Okay bye then." I said followed by the door shutting .

As I was walking back on the trail I took some time to think back to how I got here. That kept me occupied until I made it back to the Treebrary. Setting the Half eaten pie down and walking to the guest bedroom I fell on my bed ,as I fell asleep I realized something. My last thoughts were . "Huh those shapes in the tree line were the crusaders." Then I was off to sleep .

Author's Note

I have a virus on my computer .Its gonna get fixed soon .

Making money without the need for a job

Making money without the need for a job

I wake up with a yawn as the sun shines through the curtains in the guest room of Twilight's Treebrary. Getting out of bed I walk into the kitchen. Seeing Spike cooking and Twilight reading some type of book I choose to sit down in one of the small chairs around the table thinking that they wouldn't care since they welcomed almost everything so easily like that. My thoughts were proven right when neither Twilight nor Spike batted an eye, either that or they didn't know I was there.

Deciding to test that theory I asked "So whats for breakfast ?" Both of them jumped slightly then looked towards me. " Huh, guess they didn't know"

"Spike is making pancakes" Said Twilight dismissively as she looked back towards her book. After she said that an idea popped into my head ."Hey Twilight I think im gonna skip breakfast ".

"Yeah okay whatever" Said a completely not listening Twilight . Quickly I went to Twilights extra paper drawer .(After some directing ) and grabbed some paper. I folded the paper into some mini airplanes I invented when I was a kid, then I went to my bedroom and grabbed my pack with a bunch of stuff in it .

"This is going to be hilarious " I thought to myself as I walked out the door.

(░░░▒▒▒▓▓▓half an hour later in the park of Ponyville▓▓▓▒▒▒░░░)

Nestled in my hiding spot perfectly out of sight while hiding in plane sight I took aim with a Industrial strength rubber band. Aiming down the sights with the plane I waited for the perfect moment to fire at the dog size contest across the street. "Three two on-

"Hi!" exclaimed a ninja pinkie .

" Ah! " I yelped in surprise causing me to stretch the rubber band way to much then let go and fire causing the™ Mini arrow™ to fly off at deadly speeds so fast that the pony across the street holding a first prize sticker in her magical aura didn't even see the 4 in projectile speed by her ripping the sticker out of the pony's magical aura .

(Meanwhile)

At the Ponyville school the kids were a recess . They were playing the game donut, a game where they have to jump over a spinning object that a pony would swing around in a circle, in there mouth or by magical aura . The crusaders and to other fillies were playing the game . When one colt noticed Diamond tiara and Silver spoon sneaking up behind them .

( He wasn't participating but rather sitting in the background, and he was not an ordinary colt) . He watched as the two fillies walked up behind Applebloom and shoved her tripping her up causing Apple bloom to fall down .Time literally slowed down as he watched the two bullies open their mouths to laugh, but then he noticed a white blur speeding towards the two fillies . He watched the projectile go through the opening of the foam donut ripping the foam toy off of its string and leaving a sticker on the inside of it. The now mangled projectile proceeded to barrel roll. ( I am not talking about the spin I'm talking about the actual spiraling of an actual barrel roll) towards Silver Spoon, no longer a blur but rather a mangled piece of paper flying towards the mid insult filly at high speeds. the paper lodged itself in Silver Spoons mouth cutting off her speech and hitting her so hard sent her sprawling backwards while the foam donut flew towards Diamond Tiara slapping right over her muzzle and also sending her sprawling to the ground, she sat up with the sticker placed over her mouth saying .

"FIRST PLACE BIGGEST BITCH AROUND"

"The kids seeing Diamonds predicament proceeded to ROFTL in the most literal way possible, not even remembering silver spoons sentence or even existence.

"Blank fla- ARGH!"

(Back to the present )

I looked over my shoulder holding on to the branch so that I didn't fall off and said "Pinkie what - how ... oh wait, you're Pinkie"

"Yeppers!" Said the energetic pony some how being able to bounce on the tree branch without losing balance and falling off. "You should go to Vinyls and show her some of you're music!" Said Pinkie randomly switching topics.

"Well, okay then guess I'll head over there " I said, trying to climb out of the tree. Once at the bottom looked back up into the tree to see that the energetic pink pony had vanished I looked around and she was still gone. Deciding not to question it I started on my walk to Vinyls. About ten minutes into the walk I noticed I was being followed. I looked behind me and not to my surprise Lyra was following me, again. "Of course , this is going to keep happening dammit..., well better loose her." I walked around a corner and into a back alley making sure that she didn't see me go in . After she passed by I walked out and resumed . After getting to Vinyls I knocked on the door. After a couple of seconds she answered

" Hi Pinkie told me you were coming over." Said Vinyl Scratch ushering me inside . After I was in, she shut the door and I set my pack on the floor and opened it, then I grabbed a wire connected speaker and my I phone and started to look through my songs . Vinyl, not knowing what it was looked at it then asked me . "What is that"? I answered with "A music player" I found a couple good songs and connected the portable speaker to the phone and started the songs up, then I sat down in the couch nearby with Vinyl on the chair across from me.

After the songs ended I asked "So , what do you think?" To which she responded with " Sounds great! You have more Right?" I responded by saying yes and she said "Then lets get recording "

Author's Note

Found something hilarious I think I am going to add this in next chapter. Skip to about 1:50

Oh and if you notice any errors blame it on my computer after pointing it out.

Announcement

Announcement

my computer is getting so bad that I might have to cancel this story . there is a certain part of the virus that EVERY time i try wright the window changes to some STUPID fucking ad that I cant just back out of also my g-docs isn't working I have lost many a chapter just to that stupid fucking fake lady CONGRATULATIONS I JUST DELETED ALL OF YOUR WORK THAT TOOK YOU 5 HOURS TO COMPLETE ! . Sorry i'm just so angry right now. I'm sorry to say but expect the chapters to be nearly non existent . But i'm not going to cancel the story.

My luck depends on the universes mood

My luck depends on the universes mood

The morning sun hurt my eyes as it woke me up. As I got dressed I wondered what the universe had in for me today.
after that I looked forward to todays events.

"There is that thing with Scratch." I thought to myself. Deciding to start with that I took out my I Pod ,I tried to find the head phones but after awhile of searching in my pack I gave up and decided to go without them and instead use the speaker. Out of the blue I remembered a song I didn't have completely downloaded to my i pod . I had remembered it because it was a old song that I knew from a long time ago.

Randomly 3:02 into the song it always cut. Immediately after that I remembered the next song I actually had.

I turned it up and kept it up, taking a journey though my memory with a bunch of different songs. Well that is until I was blinded by a bright flash while feeling weightlessness for half a second, I then fell flat on my ass. As I stood up blinking the spots out of my eyes I realized I was no longer in the tree library, but rather I was in the throne room of the Canterlot Castle. Seeing both Celestia, Luna and Twilight along with The main six, and strangely enough, Zecora all sitting in a small group In front of me.

I froze in panic. "I am Not ready for this " I thought to myself.

"So this is the Human that you were talking about?" Asked Celestia her judging eyes feeling like they were boring into my soul and examining it and looking for flaws. As this was going on I realized that I had both the speaker and my I pod with me. "That shouldn't be with me." I thought to myself confused.
"I thought that teleportations only carried people and their clothing."

Suddenly Luna came crashing though my window, of thought. "I recall you saying he could speak" Luna inquired exquisitely. Deciding to say at least something I spoke.

"Uh yeah, hi." I said awkwardly trying to think of more adequate things to say.

"Hello " Replied both of the princesses. "My apologies for the sudden teleportation " Apologized Celestia . " Twilight brought you here to meet us ." I looked over to Twilight who grinned sheepishly and said. "Sorry"

"Now that you are here we should Introduce ourselves" I am Celestia ruler of the sun and this my sister is Luna ruler of the moon, together we rule the land of Equestria. What is your name human?"

A lot less nervous I replied ." My name is Jonathan I used to live on a planet called earth but in recent events I have come to the realization that I am no longer on my home planet ."

"Hmm describe this 'earth'." Said Celestia .

Going full "Nova science now" mode I picked up the speaker and went into my videos deciding to play some nova science now not giving a single fuck if she disagreed that we orbited our sun. The video played . "Earth is the third planet from our sun. On earth humans are the dominant species, we are also the only sapient species the planet. Our brains are highly intelligent and the technology we have created is very advanced. We have built large cities so tall that they scrape the sky. Created vehicles that can transport us humans at fast speeds to almost any destination and have even created human operated flying devices that can fly faster than the speed of sound and more, We have even built machines that can escape our planet and reach into space to explore the planets in our solar system. We have learned about how are planets work and what Suns really are"

10 minuets later

While most of the main six sat there dumb founded Celestia and Twilight didn't look they were effected at all. After a couple seconds of silence Twilight asked with a smirk.

"Then how do you explain the way the Princesses can alter the rise and the set of the Sun and the Moon?"

"That is a good question" I started "I believe the Princess here actually rotates the planet." I explained "Which in it of itself is actually still really impressive, but she doesn't move the Sun I mean seriously thats almost impossible to do."I said filled with confidence until the barely withheld rage I spotted on both Celestia's and Luna's face scared the absolute shit out of me.Even if it vanished all of a second after spotting it. she was still very pissed.

"Why the hell does she look so fucking angry?" I thought to myself. "I didn't think shed be that mad. Then I realized what i did and mentally punched myself in the face in my mind."Oh yeah I mean all I did was just tell her , her sister, and most of her closest friends and subjects that she didn't raise the sun for a thousand years . "You best un-fuck yourself or you might get pasted by a Princess." My consigns told me and I winced after still seeing the anger on Luna's face "Make that TWO" The seriousness of the situation struck me and I quickly tried to change the subject.

"Uh , but anyway My kind had a lot of technology and uh, machines and things that I could Tell you about and how they work-" I then spotted Twilights scowl and stood up to put my things in my bag then slowly started to back away. "Make that Three" I thought to myself. Then as I reached midway, I was stopped by a feeling of a very sharp point in my back. I turned by head to see a guard with a spear pointed at my back.

" Shit "

"Why don't you girls have a good day at the spa or go shopping" Said Celestia in a perfectly calm and cheerful demeanor which I knew she definitely was not.

" We have some more pressing questions to ask of this of this , Human" said Luna, with an absolutely terrifying grin

At that point I completely bailed on this situation , "OK fuck this" I said then Reached around and slapped the spear out of the guards mouth ,it hit the ground with a clang but I was already sprinting not caring how I actually got the spear out of his mouth but whatever, since the only way out was a door at the end which there was no way I was about to fight through a platoon of guards to get to I aimed for the nearest window which I hoped would shatter and not drop me to a my death.

"Oh no you don't!" Shouted Rainbow dash, already half way to me. I dove for the window, only to have the world sent into smears of spinning colors as I was clipped by her. Accelerating my body and sending me screaming and flipping back first into the window. Smashing straight through it with a very painful shatter I yelled as I tumbled through the air like a rag doll curling up for a moment until I slammed side first into something hard and then soft with the sound of cloth ripping , wood breaking and a loud grunt . I was in so much pain that I couldn't breath for a moment, everything was blurry and everything hurt.

Forcing myself to stand up I took a look around me. felling very woozy and steadying myself on the wall of whatever I fell on . As my vision returned I looked down to see who and what I landed on

"Oh shit sorry!" I landed on some costume guy selling flowers in a some stand. He was dressed as a giant rose, and was unconscious I looked up to see Rainbow Dash exit the Loony Toons style hole in the glass along with some guards.

I Decided it was time to leave and tried to run . My legs and chest feeling like they were on fire as I stumbled into an alley and around a corner. seeing nothing but a slightly high wall I tried to climb it using the bricks that stuck out due to pony engineers not really having that much of an ability to smooth down walls. I actually managed to succeed, landing on the other side with painful a grunt and a roll I surveyed my surroundings and found a basement window in which I promptly tried to open . Success! it actually opened. I squeezed through the small opening and landed on the floor of someones basement.

I quickly gave myself a once over and found that "Oh, I don't think my pinkie is supposed to bend that way...why does my side hurt so- HOLY FUCK! I had a giant three inch piece of wood sticking out of my side. Stifling a scream I pulled it and there was three more inches that slid out. It immediately started to bleed . It wasn't a lot but still. I looked around and found a sheet that I tied around my waist making the closest thing to a bandage I could

I thanked my lucky stars for that being all of my major injuries beside many minor scrapes and cuts. and went back to the window. I looked out to see nothing but an empty alleyway.

5 minutes later

I snuck Through alleyways trying to find the train station avoiding guards and all civilians until I heard the train come to a stop in the distance . I exited the alley way at a sprint seeing nobody or pony in my way until I got to the platform. I opened the door to see -

Twilight standing in the door way.

"You have to be shitting me" I said Twilight simply smiled. I turned around to run only to have a blue blur knock me to the ground. I struggled in vain As rainbow dash stood on my arms and legs pinning me to the ground and I saw Twilight approach and stand over me as did Applejack Applejacks hoof rose and everything went dark. Again

Author's Note

FUCKING BEST SONG EVER
(celestia)
Dead in the water
It's not a paid vacation
The sons and daughters of city officials
Attend demonstrations
It's hardly a sink or swim
When all is well if the ticket sells

(Twiklight) TWIKLIGHT, HELL YES /maybe Luna or Celestia
Out with a whimper
It's not a blaze of glory
You look down from your temple
As people endeavor to make it a story
And chisel a marble word
But all is lost if it's never heard

(Luna / Maybe Celestia)/ even maybe rainbow or pinkie
I'll keep your dreams
You pay attention for me
As strange as it seems
I'd rather dissolve than have you ignore me
The ground may be moving fast
But I tied my boots to a broken mast

(Zecora)
The difference is clear
You throw it in your cauldron
Rust and veneer, dusk and dawn
Steinways and Baldwins
You start with a simple stock of all the waste
And salt to taste

(Twilight)
But damn my luck and damn these friends
That keep on combing back their smiles
I save my grace with half-assed guilt
And lay down the quilt upon the lawn
Spread my arms and soak up congratulations

Sorry for the delay ans how short it is there WILL BE grammer probs so yeah . I WILL STILL UPLOAD CHAPTERS.

Trying to explain things to an angry princess is difficult.

Author's Note

Yo! I added and removed Whole bunch of stuff to the previous chapter you should go read it.

also FUCK SCHOOL gotta go in September 5th

Trying to explain things to an angry princess is difficult.

I woke up in darkness and felt that I could not move, Again.

"Oh for fuck sake" I said, the words echoing off the the walls of where ever I was. I felt the cold floor beneath me and realized all I had on were shorts. I tried to move and felt that I had been tied to the floor of where ever I was. The chains rubbing painfully against the wound in my side.

"Oh , so you're finally awake" Spoke a cold familiar voice from the darkness.

"Oh shit Luna's here to torture me to death."I panicked in my mind

I felt a bag on my head being removed and closed by eyes as to not be blinded by any kind of light. I then opened my eyes and it was still pitch black Rapidly turning my head left, then right I tried to make out something in the pitch darkness, I could not see a single thing. "OH GOD AM I BLIND?!" Did AJ smash out my eye sockets!? I thought to myself in an almost manic panic.
Then out of the corner of my eye I saw two even darker blobs (If thats even possible) approaching .

Then golden light filled the place I was in , revealing both Celestia and Luna not looking very happy. Resigned to my fate I asked.

"I'm going to die now aren't I ?"

Celestia gave a slightly pained expression slightly dropping her anger . "No we just want to ask you more questions. Is that why you ran?"

Feeling relived I answered. "Well yes I mean with the way you worded things and they way you looked like you were going to incinerat-"

"Thats well enough" Interrupted Luna

"Ok" I said quietly trying to shrink away slightly, again painfully rubbing on the cloth covering my wound.

"What I wanted to ask is , why did you feel it was a good idea to try disprove me and my sisters control of the sun and moon?"Asked Celestia. I Boldly decided to lie and said.

"Well Uh, I didn't really know that that was what you did I didn't know that you controlled the sun and moon.

"We weren't going to cause you injury ..." Celestia's expression brightened as she had an epiphany." We weren't angry at you. We were angry that some pony would brain wash you into thinking that way.

"I also didn't think that it would be that big of a-"

Before my brain could tell me to shut up.Celestia interrupted with "Well It was and Is" her expression re-hardening.

"What you have done could have you tried and executed for treason" Said Luna, her voice full of contempt.

"Now sister we shouldn't let our temper control our actions."

Just to fuck fuck with Luna I said "Where I came from We orbit the sun and the moon orbits us-"

"BLASPHEMY!" Exclaimed Luna in full royal Canterlot voice as her form blurred forward and before I knew it she was right In my face with a blade made of pure magic held to my neck
"Worth the bragging rights to being the first to piss of an Alicorn just to piss them off" I thought to myself proudly.

"Luna control yourself!" Yelled Celestia " He isn't from here he is just misguided"
Grudgingly Luna stepped away from me.
"I'm sorry , I really, really didn't pay attention to what I was saying, If I could go back and change what I said and what I did I would, I plead of you can I have one more chance to prove to you that I am not here to harm anybody.I have had very little experience in this place. "
"...Okay"

"Sister!"

"I have made a decision and I am going to let him prove to me that he isn't a threat to us or to Equestria." Finished Celestia.

I smiled thankfully and said "Give me two days "

I got my stuff back and took the train back to Ponyville, getting stared at the entire time. Eventually resulting in me lip syncing music out of my portable speaker. scaring passengers

((2 days later In a completely different setting and situation))
.

I Really wanted to test this theory that I have for the random musicals that ponies seemed to break out into. So I had Vinyl bring together a separate group of musicians for hire. Including a drummer, a guitar player and a singer.

"Ok so how this is going to go down is I am going to give you guys the first forty five seconds of a song and I want you to try and continue on with it, I know that sounds like something almost impossible, but I have a theory that this might work." Once they all nodded I scrolled through the many songs I had on my phone and selected one out of a group.

"Of course" , I muttered to my self when I saw what song came up.
"What?" asked Vinyl from my side.

"Its a sad song" I replied. Then I Immediately Had the best idea, turning to the assembled band I asked "I know this might be a little bit personal of a question to ask, but do any of you have anybody close to you that have fallen ill lately?"
Half of the band stiffened, most notably the singer,"Y-yeah my father why?"

"Have you made any songs about him recently?" I questioned further to which he responded with a negative. I continued with "Well then this song should actually fit well."

So I Immediately set to work explaining to each band member what they should play out for the first forty five seconds Vinyl came in massive handy when I asked if she was able to separate the instruments of the audio in the back onto paper. When she replied yes I was ecstatic. We both quickly went to the back so none of the musicians could hear the music being played. and she separated the music by ear and got it on to paper within five minuets. the weird thing was Vinyl didn't say a single thing about the music.

"Okay" I said once we were done."Lets test this." I gave each of the musicians their music sheet, I gave the singer his paper last for added effect. and with a count down they started to play. It was slow at first as they had just begun to read the music. but they immediately picked up the slack which immediately let me know that it was working.

"Summer has come and passed, The innocent can never last, Wake me up when September ends.
Like my father's come to pass, Seven years has gone so fast ,Wake me up when September ends."

As they reached ten seconds song I felt a force akin to the atmosphere condensing slightly around me hit me, and the players went from reading the papers to full on playing the song, It worked, flawlessly.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jVO8sUrs-Pw

As the song carried onwards A small group of ponies started to gather around the stage, that group soon turned into a crowd as the chorus hit. By the end of the first chorus the singer was crying but it didn't seem to effect his singing ability at all. Soon all of Ponyville was gathered around the stage. and when the song ended.The crowed cheered and stomped, but it seemed muted. Due to the sad nature of the song all of the ponies gathered around the stage had a mixture of expressions, some seemed sad , others seemed happy, while a few seemed a little disturbed. sad expressions written on their faces.

AS the cheering died down the singer turned to me and asked " Do you have any more of those songs?" he asked And soon Vinyl and I were printing out all of the songs from green day.I concluded after watching this totally new assembled band that shall hence forth be named, Green day

They were having the time of their life, I proved myself, and I was gonna make a shit ton of money.