Target Practice

by The Abyss

Rating: everyone
Tags: Applejack, Apple Bloom, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Comedy
Length: 1429

Applejack teaches her little sister an age-old family craft: how to knock an annoying and sleeping pegasus out of your apple tree.

Applejack teaches her little sister an age-old family craft: how to knock an annoying and sleeping pegasus out of your apple tree.

This is a gift for a good friend of mine, Nobody47.

Published 2014-08-08 04:00:05 UTC
Last updated 2014-08-08 04:00:05 UTC

The Third Time's the Charm

“Hey AJ! What’s up?” Rainbow asked as she landed on a nice, thick branch sitting a good ten feet above the farm pony. She stretched, and after a short yawn, she lounged back against the trunk of the tree, letting her legs dangle over the sides of the branch.

“Nothin’ much, Sugarcube,” Applejack replied, a bit peeved at the fact that Rainbow had just decided to take a nap in the tree that she was just about to harvest. How does she not notice all of the empty bins below her? “So, um… Anything I can help you with today?”

“Nah, I just wanted to take a nap in one of your awesome trees…” Rainbow replied with another yawn. She shifted positions, scooting forward until she was able to prop her head up on the trunk. “I was gonna just use a cloud like always, but since it’s so noisy around town today, I figured it’d be nice of me to drop by and say hey.”

“Yeah… you know I was just about to work on harvesting these here apples from the tree you want to take a nap in, right?” Applejack asked. “Would you mind moving over to one of the trees that I’ve already done?”

“Hm…” Rainbow sat up as she thought about it. “Nah, I like this one here just fine! Come back to this one when I’m done with my nap, ‘kay?” Propping her head up on her hooves behind her, Rainbow smiled and closed her eyes, letting her tail flick about lazily as she tried to drift off to a nice, peaceful nap.

Little did she know was that Applejack had other plans for her.

“Alright Applebloom, I’m gonna teach ya an old Apple family tradition, something that’s been passed down from generation to generation. It’s something called…” Applejack trailed off as she pointed a hoof at the sleeping rainbow-maned pegasus, an evil-looking grin slowly forming on her muzzle. “Knock the rude sleeping pegasus from the tree!”

“Hehe, this sounds like fun!” Applebloom said happily, jumping up and down from excitement. “So… what do you want me to do?” she asked, her eyes flicking back and forth between her target and a bin stuffed full of rotten apples beside them.

“First, I want you to practice on this here tree over yonder,” Applejack said, pointing to another tree with an empty bin perched on its side, sitting on a branch about the same height of the one that Rainbow was on. “While you do that, I’m gonna go and get something a little… soft for our friend to fall into so she doesn’t get hurt when we hit ‘er!”

“Sounds good to me!” Applebloom said, her tail flicking back and forth in excitement. “So how do you do it?”

“Oh, it’s pretty dern easy! All you have to do is grab it like this in yer hoof, stand up on your back legs, and as you fall forward, chuck the apple as hard as you can! See? Just like this…” Applejack grabbed an apple from the bin next to them and hefted it. Standing up on her back legs, she raised the leg with the apple in it, and as she fell forward, she threw the apple as hard as she could, smiling as it splattered all across the center of the empty bucket.

“Wow, nice shot, sis!” Applebloom exclaimed, giving her sister a loving nuzzle. “Lemme try!”

“Heh, alright, just keep yer voice down, ya hear? We don’t wanna go and wake up ‘ol Rainbow Dash there…” As her little sister started getting her form down, Applejack couldn’t help but let a chuckle escape her as a devious idea popped into her mind. Instead of grabbing a few hay bales for Rainbow to land on, she decided to switch to a big ole stinking pile of fertilizer.

Also known as cow poo and a ton of other decomposing organic matter that she’d rather not think about.

No longer trying to keep the sly smile from her face, Applejack bit down on one of the ropes attached to the big, smelly bucket and dragged it out from the barn, trying to keep the noise level down. She quietly closed the big barn doors, wincing whenever they squeaked. Breathing a sigh of relief when they shut with a click, Applejack grabbed the rope again and dragged the bucket to where her sister was still throwing apples, moaning and groaning at how horrid their fertilizer smelled the entire time.

“Oh, hey, whatcha got there, sis?” Applebloom asked, deciding to munch on the apple in her hoof.

“Oh, nothing special, just our special reserve fertilizer that we use on the really unhealthy fields. I think it’d be soft enough for Dash, wouldn’t you agree?”

“Yep! Although she might need to take a bath afterwards…” she said, pinching her nose shut as the wind’s direction changed, giving her a full whiff of its awful stench. “Ugh… heavens to Betsy, what’s all in there?”

“Well, I know we got some cow dung, maybe some of Winona’s droppings… who knows? All I know is that it’s good enough to break Rainbow’s fall!” Applejack said with a chuckle. Looking up, she saw that most of the practice bucket was filled with partially splattered apple cores. “Hey, it looks like you’ve got it down pat! Wanna show your older sis real quick?”

“Sure!” Applebloom tossed her half-eaten apple away and grabbed a new one. She wound herself up and then hurled the apple dead center at the bucket, smiling as it hit it with a resounding smack. “See! Nothing to it!”

“That’s right, Applebloom!” Applejack said. “Now gimme a minute to get this here bucket in a good position, okay?” She grabbed the rope in her mouth again and gently pulled it into position on the far side of the branch, hopefully where Rainbow would land. Trotting back to where her sister stood ready with an apple in her hoof, she said, “Alright, try to hit ‘er right on the noggin! That’s the way to do it, got it?”

“Got it!” Applebloom said confidently. Eyeing the sleeping pegasus, she reared back and threw the first apple, frowning as it fell an entire foot short of her mark.

“Hey, that’s alright, Sugarcube. Try again!” Applejack whispered, unable to keep the smile off of her face. She couldn’t wait to see Rainbow fall into the disgusting pile of crap. Hehehe, this’ll teach ya not to mess with me… She watched in breathless anticipation as her sister reared back once more, her eyes never leaving the apple as it flew through the air. This time, Applebloom threw it so hard it flew right over Rainbow’s head, only missing it by a few mere inches. Almost there…

Applebloom grabbed one last apple and before she threw it, she said, “Ya know, I’ve got a good feeling about this one…” At that, she chucked the apple as hard as she could right at Rainbow’s head. A moment later, it hit her smack dab right just under her ear. As her older sister cheered, Applebloom giggled as she watched Rainbow wake up with a start before she quickly lost her balance, falling right into the bucket of crap that had been so expertly placed under her.

“Ugh… what the hay is all this crap?” Rainbow asked as she shook her head, an old and rotten banana peel lying right in between her eyes. She looked down in disgust as a horrible, putrid smell suddenly slammed into her nostrils, making her reel back in horror. “Oh hay no… AJ?” She glared at her friend who was now laughing uncontrollably, rolling around on her back. “This isn’t a big pile of cow crap, is it?” As Applejack started laughing harder, Rainbow shifted her gaze to Applebloom. “Did you have anything to do with this?” she asked her as she climbed out of the bucket.

“Uh… no?” Applebloom said as she pointed at her sister, trying to hide her grin with a hoof. “It was all her plan, honest!”

“What?” Applejack asked, taking a break from laughing. She fearfully locked eyes with Rainbow, who was scraping her hoof against the ground much like a bull would who was about to charge.

“Funny thing, AJ; I guess honesty runs in the family, eh?” Rainbow said with a chuckle, shaking her wings to dislodge as much of the gunk as she could. “Now, you wanna see what it’s like to be covered in crap? C’mere you!”