Author's Note

Second verse, same as the first, comment.

Mail

I stood at the post office, sifting through my mail along with Zecora's. Things felt weird, wrong. All around me were ponies, the occasional human or griffon shuffling around PO boxes and taking packages. I felt tense, barely able to keep from hyperventilating as I tried to sort my mail. I could feel myself starting to sweat and shake as I stared down at my letters.

I wiped my hands off my on my pants and slammed my box shut, locking it and pushing off towards the exit in one clean movement. I had no idea how Zecora did it, and I wouldn't even have Rouge for company. She'd been busy the last week, never giving me a chance to spill my guts while I had the nerve.

Thinking about her helped me calm down. Even while in town with people I knew weren't going to cause me any trouble crowds had a way of making me panic, but I couldn't let anyone know. I needed to pretend to be normal, granted I was in a land of magical horses, but there was some sort of normal buried under the magic.

I hurried out of the post office, rushing towards the road out of town. I felt like I was drowning, a crowd headed towards the road into the Everfree. I had no idea why there was such a large group, but I needed to get past it. I needed to get into the trees, I needed to run, I had to get out.

I felt myself starting to panic. Half the reason I moved to Equestria was because I was going to end up taller than most, and in theory, being taller meant I would feel less claustrophobic. Sadly their being shorter didn't compensate for them taking up more room around me, their longer bodies locking me in, making me feel like I was mere seconds from getting stampeded.

I had to get out, I needed to get out, and with a quick duck to the side I slipped into the bushes and look off running into the lighter woods that surrounded the Everfree proper. I bolted in, my shirt tearing on a tree as I ran in the vague direction of Zecora's. We had a small agreement, I got the mail, she dealt with the electric and plumbing they had to get out to us. It wasn't the simplest thing to set up, but given my panic around others it served us well, and it meant Zecora never got stopped and bugged by curious ponies, all wondering what new potion she was working on.

I enjoyed the woods, I even enjoyed the Everfree, compared to the constant buzz and crowds of ponyville. It was dangerous, the occasional manticore or other horror cropping up along the densest areas, but it was something you learned to synchronize with. Life in Equestria was weird, and I knew plenty of non ponies that bugged out back home after a while. But life outside the normal Equestria was a rather unique experience.

I got to meet strange creatures, eat strange creatures, grow a modest amount of weed, hang out with a bunch of strange ponies and of course there was Rouge. But for the last week, she hadn't shown up, other moth ponies and a dracony had shown up, hung out for a bit, but rouge had been M.I.A. for a while now. And even as I stepped up onto the path to Zecora's, wading through Poison Joke and avoiding the occasional rogue stick, a looming sense of dread had buried in my gut.

Passing through the strange plants and over to the small hut was simple, a quick knock equally as simple, but then came the difficult part. Zecora poked her head out, "Who comes to my humble abode?" She spotted me, smiling gently and extending a hoof.

"Uh...mail." I mumbled, sorting out our mail and handing it off. She was courteous enough not to talk, not making this anymore painful that it had to be. I smiled in returned and turned to the road, appreciative of her understanding and eager to get back home. There was going to be something waiting for me, either some sort of pony, disaster or violent creature. Either way the day wasn't going to be boring.

I blazed a trail, made my way towards the small clearing I'd planted my house on and hurried up to the front door. My small cabin was normal as ever, the smell of dust lingering around the porch overhang. I put my hand on the knob, giving it a test turn before trying to find my keys. My stomach dropped as the door popped open, the lock neglected. I yanked my hand away, pulling it back to a small dirk I kept on my belt. There was maybe three people in all of Equestria that had my key, two friends I had in town and Zecora. The two in town would never come out here if there wasn't an emergency and Zecora would have told me.

I took a few shallow breaths, bursting into my house with my hand primed to draw my knife. What sat before me, smack dab in my den chair, wasn't a burglar or a thief, but Rouge sitting staring at the doorway. "Holy shit...." I hissed, clutching my heart. "Rouge...hi...."

She stared at me, pursing her lips and nodding. "Henry, hello."

I closed my door, locking it and unlocking it just to be sure it worked. With my paranoid satisfied I walked into the den and found a seat next to her. "So...wh--"

"I asked your friend for the key, she figured out who I was easily enough." Rouge stated, stepping down from my chair and fixing herself in the middle of the room. "But...enough about how I'm here, why I'm here is much more important."

Bile rose into my chest, burning my guts and causing a small tremble to run through my hands. "...Rouge, haven't seen you in a week...I guess this is about that...right?"

She looked out the window, staring at the dense trees that lay around my home. "Yes...well. I- Henry...do you love me?" She asked, not turning to face me. "I need to hear you say it."

I rubbed my face. "You know I do...."

"No!" She swung her head around, tears starting to form along the underside of her eye. "Henry...you need to say it." She commanded, stomping her hoof. "Please...."

I felt my mouth go dry, my body trying to freeze up, my mind going blank. "I don't- I'm not good at- Rouge...I just.... What's going on?!"

Rouge shook her head. "...You can't say it...can you?"

I slumped back into my seat. "...It's hard...I just- I can't think of the words, and--"

"You don't need to think of the words!" She yelled, storming over and planting her hooves on my feet. "I--Love--You! That's it!"

I rubbed my face, biting my thumb before turning to her. "Rouge...I love you, I love you more than anything else in my life...the days you aren't around are by far the worst of my li--"

"That's- that's enough...." Rogue stated, lowering her head to the floor. "...You know...I thought hearing that would make this easier...." She pressed her forehead against my knee. "I need you to let me go." She stated, weak, barely audible. "I'm leaving."

"What!?" I screamed, nearly shooting up from my seat. "Leaving, what!?"

Rouge stepped back, turning towards the door. "Henry...last week.... Henry they're offering me work, a home, they're offering me a life in Prance." She backed herself against the door, smiling up at me, tears cresting over her muzzle. "They're giving me a life, Henry. They're offering me something besides the woods, besides living with these animals out here."

"Animals!? You think I'm an animal!?" I shouted, storming over to her, "You break into my house, just to tell me you're leaving!? You scream at me to tell you I love you, and then you say you're leaving!? What- what the fuck!?" I shouted, my rage overtaking my shyness. "Rouge...Rouge why!?"

She stared up at me. "Henry...I wanted to ask you to come with me, I really did," She wrapped a foreleg around my back, "I wanted you to come with me...but Prance is- you can barely handle Ponyville with your problem, there's no way you could be happy in Prance." She pushed buck, running a hoof along my thigh. "Henry...this is a chance for me. If you can't be happy for me, then please don't be mad at me either. ...If you love something...let it go. Isn't that one of your human sayings?"

I sputtered a while, running my hand through my hair before falling to my knees. "Oh my god...I'm gonna be sick." I whimpered, clutching my head. "Jesus...I- you know...I thought I'd found someone who cared, someone who wouldn't just leave me like this--"

"Henry!" Rouge snapped, charging face to face with me. "...I came back to say goodbye." She stated, wrapping her hooves around my shoulders. "I do care.... Henry, I care enough to do this...not for me, but for you. I could have just left, I could have left you wondering, but I can't do that to you." She nuzzled my cheek, the fluff around her neck gracing my own. "Henry, if you don't think I love you, you're an idiot. But I need this, I need to know I'm more than just some freak out in the Everfree, I need to be somepony, I need to live like a normal pony, I can't keep doing this, not when I have a chance to be something more!"

I grabbed the back of her head, cradling her against my shoulder. "...I guess I'm not good enough.... That's fine." I stated, leaning my head against her withers. "I understand it...I really do. I just thought you'd looked past it."

Rouge took a deep, rattly breath. "Henry...please. This isn't about you, this isn't about me--"

"Then who is it about!?" I yelped, forcing her back by her withers. "Who is it about?"

Rouge stared at me, feelers drooping down and landing across my head. "This about Dusty, Marigold, Baux, this is about all the moth ponies. Henry if I can talk to them, the ponies in Prance, I might be able to convince them to take us in. Henry your people have a home! I can't just let mine live their lives in the woods with these animals!" She nuzzled the side of my head. "Henry...please, just let me do this."

I lowered my head, slowly bobbing it back up. "...I can't stop you." I stated, adjusting my hands around the back of her head. "And you're right...I'd never fit in around a big city, I'd be miserable. But...I- Rouge I love you." I pulled her close, seizing my opportunity and pulling her into a deep kiss.

I closed my eyes, my trepidation melted away by sheer fear that I might never get this chance again. It was a soft, tender thing. A soft cock of the head, the feeling of her body tensing up then going slack with a soft hum of acceptance. I felt warm, my body finally accepting this kind of contact. The feeling of her soft lips against my own chapped mess was unjustly wonderful. The feeling of her mane was unbelievable, her feelers brushing against my fingertips as I held her tight. Even the occasional blunt hoof to the back of the head was comforting. But, she was right, and I couldn't dare keep her from something that would help her more than it would help me.

I pulled back, turning on the ball of my foot and facing the den. "Go." I commanded, "Go, get out of here."

"Henry...what was--"

"Go." I stated again, dull, emotionless. I was at the balancing point between utter joy and complete despair, and I could only hope one lasted long enough to see her gone. "Just go...."

I could hear her sputter, her voice growing shallow and shaky. "I'll...Henry I'll write, I promise." The door creaked open. "I promise you, I'll never forget you." The door slowly creeped shut, the lock clicking into place and sending me to the floor.

I had managed to keep her from seeing me fall. I had my first kiss with the girl I loved. I'd let a graceful woman go so she could better herself. I did everything right, yet as I lay weeping on the floor, the lights dim in the background, I felt nothing but shame.

I could have gone with her.