As told by Sheogorath: Madness is Magic!

by DaedricPrinceSheogorath

Rating: mature
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Other, Sex, Discord, Crossover, Alternate Universe, Anthro, Main 6, Gore
Length: 2940

A tale where I, your favorite Madgod, travel to Equestria disguised as an unicorn and see why my dear friend Discord likes it here so much.

Art by: Chaotic Commission on Deviant ART

A crossover of BETHESDA(©)'s Elder Scrolls Universe

Life on the Shivering Isles can become dreadfully boring. Luckily my dear friend Discord gave me an idea! He said to come to Equestria and spread some of my...'teachings' there. Heh, ready or not, here the Madgod comes!

UPDATE- 8/12/14
WARNING: Strong usage of swears. Has 'sex' tag for extreme innuendos that will come later on as well as some possible situations that may occur.

UPDATE- 8/13/14
After getting opinions from several professionals and some friends of mine, I have decided what has been currently written needs an...'Extreme Makeover: Story Edition'. Thank you very much.
Note: that the prolouge will NOT change, this was considered fine besides a few grammatical errors and none had any negative critique for me to rewrite it, however the three other chapters already written are what are being fixed.

UPDATE- 8/19/14

Alright, I decided to go with a new take entirely. The way it was before was rather...restricted in change. Well enjoy!

UPDATE- 8/23/14

I am unfortunately having HUGE writers block -_- the current chapter is only barely passed 600 words. Not sure how much longer it will take...its beginning to get on my nerves honestly...

Published 2014-08-11 05:10:09 UTC
Last updated 2014-12-16 02:23:54 UTC

A prologue to madness

Author's Note

Fun idea I came up with eating ice cream of all things.....better than being drunk though, eh?

A prologue to madness

Hello my young dellhoppers, my name is Francisco Martin James Akira Maria Gauldur John McCoy Stanley Steamer Chris Vocaloid Kamui Mad Drake Ben Nathan Tom Justin Horatio Penelope Viagra Martin the 47.8th. You may call me Sheogorath. I am here to guide you through the wonders of madness and insanity! The rush of dementia, as well as the thrill of mania. The-

Just get on with it! We aren't paying you to ramble on you idiot!

Actually, you aren't paying me at all for this...

...Just get the hell to work already...

Fine! You will hear from Madgod later! Or rather...Madgod shall hear some very interesting noises later tonight. *Wink*

I swear by the eight Sheogorath, if you try and rape me, I swear I will figure out how to kill you.

Calm yourself mortal. Besides...you aren't Madgod's type. No, unfortunately your much to loud and obnoxious for me to gain enjoyment from it
...Madgod prefers the...obedient type.

*Cough* Kinky. *Cough*

You do realize that I have the Wabbajack, right?

Oh hell no. I will go completely ghetto if you do Sheogorath, I swear!

Oh, so now your an angry black woman yelling at a god? Thats funny, that you think I care and all.

You can be a real condensing bastard, you know that?

Why thank you. I only act like this to you, after all!

Sheogorath, will you PLEASE get back to work?

Beg for it.

Excuse me?

Beg me to work. If you do I may continue on.

I REALLY hate you Sheogorath, I hope you know that...Oh mighty, powerful, and insane Madgod, will you please get the hell back to work?

No.

Wait, what did you just say?!

Madgod is to tired for work, come back later.

Come on you lazy bum! Get to work.

Beep beep beep, we're sorry, the madman your trying to reach doesn't give a shit. Please try again later.

Ah! SCREW THIS?!

You! Your fired!

Good, I couldn't stand being here another second.

Sheogorath! GET BACK TO WORK THIS INSTANT OR SO HELP ME I WILL SHOVE A DRAGON UP YOUR ASS!

Alright Dagon alright! Sheesh, I was just having a bit of fun...

You can have your...'fun' later. Now, GET BACK TO WORK!

Fine...now where were we? Ah! Cheese wheels I remember!

One day, while I was in session with my Court of Madness, my dearest friends Discord and Loki stopped by for a fun tea party! It rained cats, mice, cotton candy, and milk. Lots and lots of milk. Warm, creamy, rich milk. Mmm, milk. I shoud mention we all have a very extreme fascination with milk. Why milk? I'm jusst a madman, how should I know? For awhile, talked about this and that till I brought up my boredom of Tamriel at the moment. Loki said go on a killing spree while Discord said to come visit Equestria and have some time off for even the crazy need time to relax. I had two options at this point. 1 Go with Loki's idea, kill off a species probably, and become a serial killer. Or go to Equestria...which to choose...murder...or...relax. Tough choice huh? It took me about a week before I decided to pay a visit to Equestria. Could be fun, you know? Discord explained how the residents of Equestria where similar to a human it body, but had animal features like feathers, a tail, or fur. This made me even more happy, such delectable madness waiting to greet me. By this point i realized he was going to disguise me as a type of pony called a unicorn. He told me that I could still use magic this way. Ten minutes later, I am on my way to the glory that is Equestria! Ready or not, here Madgod comes!

Ch 1: The week after arriving

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Ch 3: Meeting the Rest of the Mane Six! Plus A Time Skip Because Time Skips Are Cool!

Author's Note

Not meant to be much, just a prelude to the first arc
Enjoy!

Ch 3: Meeting the Rest of the Mane Six! Plus A Time Skip Because Time Skips Are Cool!

Change of P.O.V- Pinkie Pie

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Hopping down a dirt road towards one of my best friends in the whole wide world, I couldn't help but take in the always so spectacular look of the tree line and the serene feel of the river flowing next to me. "Ah, such a wonderful day!" I giggle a bit, I was bringing some cupcakes for Fluttershy and that stallion Rainbow Dash had plowed through a few days ago. My mind wanders a bit as I travel. "Maybe he would like a... Welcome to Ponyville, Sorry Rainbow Dash Hurt You, Get Better Soon Party! Oh I just LOVE parties!" With that I near the cottage and I come upon the sight of the supposedly injured stallion pointing a stick towards Angel Bunny, in a strange attempt to fight him off.

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Change of P.O.V- Sheogorath

I swing my stick at the nightmare that is Angel Bunny, or should I say 'Demon Bunny who wants to eat my face', that seem FAR more appropriate. "YOU SHALL NOT HARM ME DEMON!" Fluttershy was on the ground laughing her flank off at this spectacle. Why won't the side effects disappear already?! Angel Bunny however, did not feel threatened by my amazing stickmanship, and kept coming closer, and closer to me. Suddenly he leaps onto my legs and I give a unfortunately girly scream. "EEEEK!" I shake back in forth like it was a monster trying to grab me.

"Hahaha!" I hear a unfamiliar laugh and look around till I see a pink mare laughing at my fear of Angel.

"It's not funny, you...extremely pink mare I don't know the name of...that demon was going to kill me!"

"Oh silly filly, lil' Angel won't harm you, he's too adorable for that!" She suddenly, and impossibly, appears behind me. Then I realize who this is.

"Are you by any chance...Pinkie Pie?" She nods a quick and abrupt yes. "My names Sheogorath, a pleasure."

"Great to meetcha! Hey you were the stallion RD hit, right? Now I have to hold your "Welcome To Ponyville, Glad Your Better, Rainbow Dash Is Sorry Party!" She jumps up, only to fall down...in slow motion. This madness...is AMAZING! I have NEVER seen such a wonder since Discord's Chocolate Rain Pound Cloud Lemonade! I knew me and her would get along JUST fine!

"SPLENDID A PARTY?! CHEESE FOR EVERYONE!" I cheer and snap my fingers, causing a couple clouds to appear and begin raining cheese from the sky.

"OMGOSHITSRAININGCHEESEFLUTTERSHY!" Pinkie became a Pac-man, and begin jumping up and eating several cheese's in mid-fall. I myself do the same thing. We simply bounded in the wonderfulness that is cheese. Gouda cheese, Cheddar cheese, Swiss cheese, Mozzarella cheese, and so many more! Oh how I LOVE cheese!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Location: Great Oaks Library P.O.V: Twilight Sparkle

Looking over out a window, I notice a strange rain over only Fluttershy's cottage. "I need to check that out."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Location: Rainbow Dash's Cloud Home P.O.V Rainbow Dash

"Hey...there's no rain scheduled today..." I had noticed it raining over Fluttershy's cottage. "Ugh...why do I..." I dart out and head to fix the problem...I'd rather be napping and dreaming about being a Wonderbolt though...I could head back...nah, I wouldn't be a good friend if I did...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Location: Carousel Boutique P.O.V Rarity Belle

"Oh heavens, I thought there was meant to be no rain today!" I had noticed the small rain above Fluttershy's cottage, it was peculiar to say the lease, especially after seeing Rainbow speeding towards it. "Hm, I should see if dear Fluttershy's alright. Celestia knows she's easily scared."

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Location: Sweet Apple Acres P.O.V Applejack

"Now what in tarnation?!" I was speeding towards Fluttershy's house, I live close enough to see it not being rain...but cheese. "What could Discord be up too?!"

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Location: Fluttershy's Cottage P.O.V Sheogorath

"I LOVE CHEESE!" I screamed

"WE LOVE CHEESE!" Pinkie called back in response

"LETS ALL SING ABOUT CHEESE!" Surprisingly Fluttershy chimed back.

And in unison- "CHEESE IS AMAZING!" All during our strange moment of chhese-declaring love, we were on a trampoline that Pinkie had found...in her hair...even I was baffled...then I ate cheese and all became well.

We fell back in laughter as four mares speed towards us shouting if 'everything is ok' or something similar.

"Oh! Twilight, Rarity, Rainbow, Applejack! Come meet a new friend!" Pinkie chimed while taking the trampoline...and putting back in her hair...

They slowed down to a walking pace, upon seeing the three of us simply having a good time. The one named Twilight walked up in what I would call the otaku sailor uniform, commonly found in Japanese cartoons, or Anime as it is called. She looked around, noticing all the cheese on the ground. "What in Starswirls beard happened here?!" She asked trying to piece things together. "Fluttershy, did Discord do this?"

A white unicorn, wearing a pair of boots, some sort of designer jeans, a sleeveless shirt, and a diamon necklace spoke next.

"Darling, we all know that when it comes to Discord it usually involves chocolate milk, or cotton candy."

Twilight sighed "I guess, that is true." Looking toward myself now. "So who are you?"

I smile "Why, my name is Francisco Martin James Akira Maria Gauldur John McCoy Stanley Steamer Chris Vocaloid Kamui Mad Drake Ben Nathan Tom Justin Horatio Penelope Viagra Martin the 47.8th. You may call me Sheogorath, my dear!"

"Thats quiet ah name ya got there." A wide eyed orange mare spoke in suprise, in honesty she looked like a stereotypical cowgirl, hat and all.

"Hey! Aren't you the stallion who interrupted my training session?" A raspy tomboyish voice said. I look over to see Rainbow Dash, my pain inflicter, wearing camo shorts, sandals,and a black shirt reading "HOMEWRECKER" in big letter across her chest.

"Aren't you the one who wasn't looking while flying at 200 m.p.h and crashed into an innocent stallion minding his business and put him in the hospital?" Dashie, yes I'm calling her Dashie, opened her mouth but was unable to think of a retort.

Everyone chuckled a bit which led to a laugh fest that even Dashie joined in.

Well, things just went from there...

TIME SKIP 6 MONTHS LATER

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Location: Ponyville Residence of Madgod. Time: 11:54 p.m.

"...and that, Discord is why I believe Angel Bunny is eithera demon or one of Dagon's dwemora indisguise.

"Interesting theory, what say you Loki?"

Loki sighed "I say it is late, and I wish to turn in for the night. Goodnight my friends." Loki returned to Asgard in a flash of light

"I digress, Sheo, I must as well, good night." With that Discord disappeared a puff of cotton candy, raspberry blue to be exact.

With both friends gone, I turn in for the night. Welcoming the dreams that shall come.

Ch 2: The nightmare: ANGEL BUNNY

Author's Note

This chapter hurt to get out...sorry for the wait and all.

Ch 2: The nightmare: ANGEL BUNNY

Fluttershy and I head into the kitchen and prepare a favorite of mine. Cheese, cheese, and more god damn cheese. Pulling some out of her pantry, my mouth watering, I stare at the two cheddar cheese wheels she gives me wide eyed, for they were the giant twenty pounders that could be used on a wheelbarrow. "Cheeeesssee." My fingers wiggle towards the cheese.

Suddenly a portal appears on the floor, and from it comes my cheese rival, Cthulu. "Cthulu steals all Madgod's cheese now"

A tentacle rockets towards my precious cheese which I slap away with my left hand. "Bitch please, this is Madgod's cheese!"

With twitching tentacles, Cthulu launches towards me. I simply move out of the way which causes him to land in a pot of boiling water. Flailing about, he screams. "IT BURNS!"

Walking over to him with a sinister smile, I have an really cruel idea. "Looks like we're having octopussy for lunch, Fluttershy!"

Wide-eyed, he opens a portal and jumps into it. Cursing me with MANY foul words that I won't say in front of dearest Fluttershy, even though I've said plenty already.

Fluttershy, during the ordeal, had been staring blankly ahead, wide-eyed with her mouth hanging open from the moment Cthulu appeared. She does that quiet often. Maybe she needs a doctor. Maybe I could ask Nurse Redheart to check her out...ah well, that's for another day.

I poke her after Cthulu leaves, and when she doesn't even flinch I begin to think I killed her. After two minutes or so, she twitches slightly at least allowing me to know she is not dead.

Muttering a bit at Fluttershy's state "Well, this is the most surprising day I've had since arriving. More so than the first. Damn that Rainbow Dash, putting Madgod in that cast. I can't use the Wabbajack, it would more than likely cause her to lose her soul if I use it again on her so soo-" A sudden screeching cuts me off, I whip my head around only to see something white and furry latch itself onto my face clawing and biting me like a rabid wolf under the full moon. "OHMYFUCKINGGODWHATTHEHELLISTHIS?!" Grabbing what ever it is on my face, I attempt to tear it off, only resulting in two things; One, I fall onto Fluttershy, two whatever is latched on me begins going at it 'harder'. Get it? Going at it harder? You know as in- oh screw you.

Landing on Fluttershy causes her to regain focus. She gets back up and she whips her head towards me and in a stern but motherly tone "Angel Bunny! Front and center this instant mister!"

The white furry demon launches off my face, knocking me to the floor, I sit up to find, not a demon, but a god damn bunny. A mother fucking bunny did this. There's no way in HELL that's a fucking regular bunny. If it is, I will kick a baby. I swear, I will take a baby put it on the ground, and kick it. Why am I so sure? Because one, bunnies fear EVERYTHING! I mean I once saw a bunny run in fear from a fucking leaf. A LEAF! It was simply being carried by the wind but it ran like it was a wolf! This bunny, is a demon in disguise.

Fluttershy begins scolding the nightmarish bunny while I simply begin to think of how to reveal the demon in disguise. Muttering under my breath, I begin to create some ideas. "Maybe some holy water? No, it would sense it coming. A stake? No, to...bloody for my liking. Ah screw it I'll think of it later." Fluttershy pats the little monster's head, and he begins hopping towards me. Backing up in a flash, wide-eyed. "Stay away demon." I take my index fingers and make a cross. "The power of Madgod repels you demon!" Either it was to strong, or just unaffected, it simply cocks it head to the side and squeaks at me then runs off to who knows where.

"Fluttershy...why do you have a demon living in you're home?" Wide-eyed with my voice shaking a bit in fear trying to understand why such a sweet mare would have a demon in her home.

Tilting her head to the side, she ponders my question. "Demon...demon...oh wait! You mean Angel Bunny! He's just a cute cuddly bunny. He just thought you were harming me, he's quiet protective of me." So the Wabbajack also made her blunt and to the point. I really hope it wears off soon god damn it.

"Bunny? No way it's a bunny, it's a monster in disguise." I look towards a window to see the demon staring hungrily at me. "HE'S GONNA FUCKING EAT ME!" I jump behind a chair and stare fearfully at the nightmare that is Angel Bunny. "Not even Vaermina could make such a horrid nightmare as such.

"You are such a strange one. Angel won't hurt you as long as you don't harm me, the other animals, or destroy the cottage." She said it so fucking cheery too...WHY DOES MY WABBAJACK HATE ME SO?! I made the damn thing...WHY WON'T IT LOVE ME LONG TIME LIKE A HOOKER WOULD?!

"I thank you for telling me how to avoid you're demons unholy furry fury. That's a tongue twister! Unholy furry fury. Unholy furry furry. GOD DAMN IT I MESSED UP!" I steam at my own failure.

Fluttershy giggles at my antics. "Your just like my friend Pinkie. I bet you two would hit it off fast!" Kinky Fluttershy, kinky.

At the mention of Pinkie I remember Discord saying how crazy and logic defying like me she is. I just had to meet her in person now! Oh the fun we could have! The pranks we could pull! Oh it just gets me so...EXCITED!

"Oh Sheo, are you ready to get to work? I'll have Angel stay away from you!" She smiles

"Thank you and yes I am." I come out from behind the chair. "What shall we be working on?"

"I need you to go out and feed the animals, the shack outside has food inside labeled for who gets what, so it shouldn't be too hard."

I nod in confirmation and head outside, my thoughts drifting to how my meeting with Pinkie Pie would fare.

As fate would have it though, Pinkie Pie was on her way that morning to help Fluttershy with the animals. Let the meeting between Madgod and Pinkie begin!