Six Questions

by Robomac

Rating: everyone
Tags: Main 6, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Random
Length: 2784

The main six are allowed six questions before leaving Equestria forever. Will they make them count?

A spin-off of the first chapter of Harmonic Gourmet. The main six are at the mercy of a strange stallion with exceptional power. Even so, they are allowed to ask him any six questions. Secrets will be revealed, emotions will be pushed, and Pinkie Pie will be Pinkie Pie.

Published 2014-08-09 06:10:06 UTC
Last updated 2014-08-09 06:10:06 UTC

Questions

Author's Note

Here's a spin-off chapter that I wrote simply because I wanted to. I've copied the unchanged events from the original chapter and put it into a quote box for the sake of convenience. After the box is where the chapter spins off. All events after that are not cannon for Harmonic Gourmet, but the truths still apply.

Questions

The six found themselves hovering in an empty space with countless stars littering the background in all directions. All of them, even Pinkie, groaned from a fierce migraine punctuating every beat of their hearts with a pulse of pain. Dash recovered first due to her experience with crashes. "What the hay did your castle do to us?"

Twilight groaned as her horn glowed due to a numbing spell. "I," she looked around apprehensively, "I have no idea."

"Silly Twilight. We're in space." Pinkie Pie gasped loudly with wide eyes. "We're aliens. Do you know what this calls for?" She reached beyond anypony's field of view to retrieve a party hat and a generic green alien mask. "Alien party!"

Twilight put a hoof to her face then sighed. "Pinkie, going into space doesn't make us aliens. We'd have to visit another world first."

"Awww." Pinkie whimpered due to being shot down so quickly.

"Now no pouting Pinkie," said a decidedly male voice. "Princess Twilight is right."

With the migraines instantly forgotten, six pairs of eyes widened at the deep unfamiliar voice coming both from nowhere and everywhere at once, though one pair widened in excitement rather than fear. "Oh, a new guy. Are you going to join our alien party?"

The voice chuckled as the sound started to centralize a short distance ahead of them. "You are truly incomprehensible Pinkie Pie, even to a being such as I." A muzzle poked out of empty spaced followed by an earth pony stallion with bright blond hair and an off-white coat. His cutie mark was revealed to be a globe with a pen in the process of writing upon its surface. He regarded them all with a gentle smile then focused upon Pinkie. "It just so happens that I did have a party of sorts in mind. How does Alien Gourmet sound as a theme?"

"Ooooooooh, that sounds like fun." She turned towards towards Twilight with a moderate smile. "Hey Twilight; what does incomprehensileble mean?"

Twilight sighed at her butchering of the word. She then immediately entered her lecturing mode. "It is pronounced incomprehensible."

"I do~ know how to spell Twilight," said Pinkie, interrupting Twilight. "I got out of elementary school three days ago."

All six others blinked in confusion with Twilight being first to regain her senses. "Okay. First off, spelling has nothing to do with pronouncing words correctly."

"Well I defiantly know that."

Twilight's eye twitched. "It's pronounced definitely. Did you really get out of elementary school three days ago?"

"Of course. How else can I throw Cheerilee's birthday party?" she replied as if it were obvious.

As the five stared at Pinkie dumbfounded, the stallion entered a fit of wild laughter. He quickly reduced it to a wide smile as they turned their eyes towards him. "What can I say; the element of laughter was a title well earned."

Rarity tried to step towards the rather handsome stallion only to fail due to having no surface to walk upon. This however was no inconvenience to her current intent. "Excuse me dear sir, but would you do us the pleasure of telling us your name." After all, the stallion's apparent understanding of gourmet dining certainly must indicate a certain level of sophistication.

The stallion gazed at Rarity with a kind and, much to Rarity's disappointment, a rather platonic expression. His expression then went deathly serious in the next second. "Yes. I should at least provide my name before I get down to business. As I am now, you may call me Wordsmith."

"And what kind of business you talking about Mr. Wordsmith?!" asked both Applejack and Rainbow, with the farmer bothering to use his name.

He smirked at them, the kind aura he was projecting from before replaced by something considerably more mischievous. "Like I said, I have the intention of inviting you six to a Alien Gourmet party." His gaze narrowed as his aura silenced any response. "You should know that refusal is not an option."

All their heartbeats quickened as their breaths were caught in their throats. "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh! The alien pony's going to eat us!" With that declaration, all five join Pinkie Pie in her screams. They all flailed and flapped around only to continue hovering in place; which served to further intensify their panic.

Wordsmith on the other hoof watched the display with an amused smirk. He realized in hindsight that he should have realized that Pinkie would bring things to this conclusion. After a few moments, he decided to spare their throats further abuse and stomped upon a surface only he could touch. All six mares were instantaneously silenced against their will. "Well, now that you can hear me, it is time we continue."

With another stomp of his hoof, he freed them and summoned a large jellyfish contained in a sphere of water in the center of their midst. What panic they felt was calmed as they looked upon the shimmering brilliance of the creature before them, with Rarity being brought to tears. Its bell looked to be made of the purest dark gold while still being completely transparent, allowing starlight to twinkle in a mesmerizing manner as well allowing full view of small tendrils sticking up from it's mouth; all of which looked to be comprised of the richest red rubies to ever exist. Beneath the bell hung three bright golden frills that sparkled brilliantly even without the added starlight. These frills were accompanied by numerous platinum colored tentacles that swayed lazily with the flow of water. "What is this creature? I've never seen anything like it."

"Well my dear Fluttershy; this very special jellyfish just so happens to be how I intend for the six of you to survive." With a swipe of his hoof, the jellyfish was sliced cleanly in two. Their eyes widened in shock and fear at the sudden display of brutality

"Why" started Fluttershy with tears in her eyes before switching to the fiercest stare she's ever managed, "why did you do that?!" Her protest was ignored as a gentler swipe of his hoof pulled one of the halves out of the water. He then stomped again which was followed by the half to break into countless particles that coalesced into six golden spheres. "You killed it just for that!"

Wordsmith returned her rage induced stare with a calm gaze. "Perhaps you should look again before making accusations."

Her stare wavered to glance at the jellyfish's remains; except it was once again whole and moving about as if it had never been injured at all; which effectively shattered her technique. "You...healed it."

"No, that regeneration is one of the things here that I'm not responsible for." He looked towards Pinkie with a hint of confusion in his creased brow. "As is that party hat and alien mask. If I didn't know better, I would ask you how you did that."

He turned back towards his shimmering captive with a gentle smile. "For what you have allowed me to take from you, I offer my thanks." Wordsmith bowed his entire body so that his chin was clearly touching the surface he seemed to be standing on. In the next instance, the jellyfish as well as the six orbs formed from the other half's remains shined with thrice the brilliance as before. This coupled with the shear aura of gratitude coming from Wordsmith put the six mares into another state of silenced awe. "Now I shall return you to your home." The jellyfish and water vanished without any display, leaving behind the seven ponies and six golden spheres that still glowed with the added brilliance.

After a moment, the stallion slowly stood as a sense of indifference started to replace his gratitude; though it did not do so completely. "Now then my little ponies. I feel as it if this is starting to drag on so I'll be wrapping this up."

"Wait!" exclaimed Twilight. "We have no idea what you even want from us. Are you really going to send us back without any kind of direction? How am I supposed to spread the Magic of Friendship without some kind of goal?"

Wordsmith chuckled in a way that was clearly at her expense. He then paused, as if contemplating what he should do next.

He then looked her in the eyes and nodded. "Very well, I will allow each of you one question. Take care not to waste them."

"Well I've got a whole sky-full questions for you! For starters, what the hay do you want with us?!"

He looked Dash directly in the eyes and smirked. "Entertainment."

All their eyes widened at the ominous single-word answer. Dash's expression quickly flared into rage a second later?! "What kind of answer is that?! What are you?! What are we doing here?! What...?!"

"ENOUGH!" The commanding tone instantly silenced her. "Any more question from you and I will start deducting them from your friends." With this threat holding over the Element of Loyalty's head and the look in his eyes that said he'd follow through with it, she would certainly remain quiet. "Next question please," he said with a much calmer expression and tone.

It took a moment for one of them to build up their courage. "Ah'm with Rainbow Dash on one thing: what are you?"

Wordsmith regarded her for a few moments as if contemplating if he should answer. The pregnant moment soon passed as he nodded towards her. "Yes," he said more to himself. "It wouldn't do to hide truths from the Element of Honesty." He allowed that sentence to hang in the air in hopes it would help them believe the answer to come. "I am an omni-dimensional god, which is a type of god that has yet to form a universe of its own and instead spends their time observing the endless variety of realms as a way to spend their timeless existence."

Their jaws dropped as the weight of his reveal hit them. In that moment, everything that he had done made sense to Twilight. "Twilight!" She looked up at the newly revealed god who had interrupted her thoughts. "Save your thinking for your question. You'll have plenty of time to think after this."

"Ooo, ooo, ooo, I've got a question! Pick me, pick me!"

Wordsmith chucked at the mare's antics. She vibrated excitedly with an exceptionally wide grin. Whatever question she thought of, it must be a good one. "Ask away Pinkie."

"What are we?!" ... ... Or that.

With that question, everything simply froze. All six other ponies stared at her with absolute astonishment. Even the sparkling around the golden spheres seemed to freeze in place in response to Pinkies ludicrous question. The silence seemed to persist for eons until broken by the sound of a small breath. A second later, three louder breaths followed in rapid succession. Next, the breaths gave way to clear laughter. Finally, the dam broke. What the mane six then witnesses was what was quite possibly the most powerful entity they've ever met being brought to the 'ground' by the power of laughter.

Soon enough, the tidal wave like aura of shear mirth spilling from him soon caused everypony else to join in. A symphony of laughter that could alleviate even the most deadly of symptoms instantly began to play out with all the intensity their voices could muster, even Fluttershy. An amount of time impossible to determine passed before Wordsmith could gradually regain control over his self. The laughter of the other's died down with his own. While wiping the tears from his eyes and with a smile on his face, Wordsmith looked directly at Pinkie. "I can't tell if that question was completely moronic or a stroke of genius. 'What are we?' is a question as simple as it it philosophical. The best answer I can give you is that you are your selves, yet you are in a way not what you think you are."

While this confused most of them, Twilight's eyes widened only for a moment before narrowing. "What's that supposed to mean?!" She gasped and brought her hooves to her mouth from realizing that she asked a question.

Wordsmith let out a sigh. "I'd hoped you wouldn't ask for elaboration." Twilight's self-admonishment was replaced by curiosity by him revealing her question to not be wasted. "The truth of the matter is that you six are replica's: clones if you will. Your original selves are still in Equestria and are currently taking on a mission provided to you by your castle. The reason none of you are going back to Equestria is because you're already there. Without the six of you, Equestria would be left ultimately defenseless. Regardless of the rules binding me to leave the source world unchanged, I'd never devastate your home in such a way."

"We're just cheap knockoffs?" asked the fashionista with a shocked expression matching her friends.

"Knockoffs, perhaps; but cheap is the last thing I would call you. Replica's or not, you are alive; and there is no price that can come to the value of a life." He smiled with slight mischievousness. "Now I believe that you still have two question to ask me."

"But, I've already asked my question."

"Not entirely. I would have answered your question without you having asked it because I would have needed to in order to answer Twilight's question; but if you want to squander my generosity, we can say otherwise."

"Oh, no no no no," she said hastily while shaking her hoof. "It would be frightfully rude for me to refuse such a gift." She took a deep breath and recalled the questions and information from before until her eyes settled on a certain unknown. "I can't help but notice that there is one sphere for each of us."

"And you wish to know what they are," he confirmed without waiting for her to continue. She nodded. "Very well. These orbs are power: the power to grow, adapt, evolve; they are the power to survive under almost any conditions. You will need it where you're going." He suddenly smirked. "As for what you're thinking right now, I'm afraid that a god is a little out of your league."

She chuckled nervously as a slight blush showed through her white fur. "Really Rares?" asked Rainbow Dash who had been silent for far too long for her own liking.

"What~?! Do you intend to blame a girl for dreaming about what couldn't be?"

Wordsmith shook his head with a smile. "No, you should dream to your heart's content. Dreams are a spectacular source of inspiration after all." He then looked towards Fluttershy who appeared to be deep in thought. "You're the only one left." She squeaked and balled up. "I know you're scared, but your friends are counting on you here."

Fluttershy's ears raised in response followed by her head. With a sweeping look at her friends reassuring faces, she nodded to the overwhelming stallion with what courage she could muster. There was plenty she was worried about, but something he recently said set her next question in stone. "Where are you sending us?"

He nodded as his face took on a look of complete seriousness. "You are going to a spectacular world where food is the pillar upon which all of society is built. It is a world of eat or be eaten, but the tastes that you are soon to experience are beyond even my vast imagination. This world is in the height of its Gourmet Age. Additionally, there are countless plants and animals in this world unlike anything you could imagine. I can already see you becoming friends with many of them." He quickly glanced at all of them momentarily. "In fact, all of you can look forward to making many new friends."

He took a deep breath and sighed. "You are out of questions. Until next time, goodbye."