I NEED TO CRY
Written By: Cameron
Sometimes, I do it because I keep everything inside and I just need to let it out. Nothing wrong with me, I'm just a little hurt. That's all.
I walk into my living room when I hear knocking at the front door. I answer it to see a familiar face: Film Maker. A young pegasus, like me, with a brown coat and a red spiky mane. He had light blue eyes that matched his personality and a video camera for a cutiemark. "Why, hello, Film Maker. Please, come in." I gesture for him to come in and he shyly walks into the living room.
"Hey, Fluttershy." Film looked around his surroundings and smiled. "You have a beautiful home here, Shy."
I blush lightly. "Thank you, Film." I look at him and see him still standing in the middle of the room. "Please, sit down." I gesture him to sit down on the couch, but he looks at me.
"Um...I hope you don't mind, but I kinda adapted to having the mares sit before me. It's kind of a gentlestallion thing I've adapted to, thanks to my grandmother." Film explained to me.
My, my. He had such wonderful manners. It's a good thing he adapted to these kinds of things. I smile at him and it seemed to make him less nervous. "Its okay. I don't mind at all. You have such manners, Film. You want me to get you something to drink?"
"Water would be great, please."
I walk into the kitchen to get him a glass of water. Once I return to the living room, I see him still standing in the middle of the room. I sit down on my recliner and he sits down on the couch. I pass him the glass of water and he takes it out of my hooves.
"Thank you, Fluttershy." Film took a sip of the water and placed it on the coffee table in front of the couch.
"You're welcome, Film."
He looks around the room for a moment and then looks at me. "So how come you called me here today? I mean, I don't mind that you asked for me to come, I'm just curious."
I lightly chuckle. "I'm sorry, I guess I forgot for a moment." I look at my stairs and then back at him. "I need you to take care of all the animals in the house for me." A bird lands on the coffee table right next to Film's glass of water. The bird looks at me and then at Film. "I need to be in my room for a bit. I have some thinking that I need to do, but I need somepony to take care of the animals. Would you ever so kindly watch them for me?"
Film smiles warmly. "Of course. I'd be much happy to help tend to your animals while you take care of your personal business."
"Great." I pull out a piece of paper from under my wing and hand it to Film. "Here's a list of things you need to do. I've also marked where the tools you'll need can be found. I'm sure you can find your way around the house, right?" Film nodded. "Good. Also, don't be scared of the animals. They're all very kind. They won't even dare to hurt you. You should be fine.
"Sounds good to me." I get up out of my seat and he does the same.
"I'll be in my room, if you need anything. But please try to avoid it as much as you can today. I would love to have some privacy today. Can you do that?" Film nodded again. "Good. And thank you. I'll be sure to reward you, when I'm done."
"With or without a reward, I'm happy to help out as much as I can."
I smile a little wider than I probably should have. "Thank you."
"You're welcome."
I walk up to my stairs and climb up to the top floor. I head into my bedroom and walk up to bookshelf on the far left of the room. I pull out a big box that's marked memories on the top of it. I bring the box to my bed and I sit on the soft mattress. I open up the box and pull out a binder that's marked mom and dad on it. I slowly open it up to see a tan unicorn stallion wearing a grey hoodie and smiling at the camera. He had a black mane that was stuck up in little spikes. His eyes were light blue, like mine. I smile at the image.
I flip the page to see the stallion with his forelegs wrapped around a pegasus mare with a white coat and a pink mane that was in a ponytail. She had her head nuzzled into the stallions neck. The stallion was smiling and looking down at her. My smile grows a tad bit wider at the image. "Mom and dad." I mumble to myself.
I flip another page to see my mom sitting on a recliner with her forelegs around her belly. My dad was standing next to her. They both looked into each other's eyes and smiled. Mom was pregnant at the time. They were so in love.
I flipped another page to see my mom lying in a hospital bed with my dad holding a tiny yellow foal in his forelegs. He looked down at the foal and smiled widely. My mom looked at him and the foal and smiled. That was me, when I was born.
I flip another page to see my mom lying in the hospital bed with tiny me in her forelegs. She had a huge smile on her face and her eyes looked like she was ready to fall asleep. Giving birth does take a lot out of you.
I flip another page to see my mom and dad and little me in a doorway with huge smiles on their face and a bunch of ponies standing in front of them. There was a banner above their heads that said IT'S A GIRL! I guess it must have been the first day when we got out of the hospital.
I flip another page to see mom and dad cuddling with each other while watching little me play with my toys in front of them. Must have been most days for them.
I flipped another page and see me a little bit older. Maybe four. Mom is standing behind me while I look at a white bunny in fascination. That was the first animal I've ever seen.
I flip another page and see me eating an ice cream cone with dad. I was six at the time. Dad used to take me out to have ice cream with him on the weekends. It was just the two of us every time. It was our little tradition.
I flip to the next page and my heart starts to feel torn as I look at it. Dad was in a hospital bed and I leaned on the side of his bed looking at him. He had a small smile on his face and mom was a few feet behind me. She had a worried expression plain on her face. That was when dad got lung cancer.
I flip to another page and see a tombstone with my dad's name on it: Sparkly Glitters. I feel tears starting to well up in my eyes. I see little me crying into mom's foreleg while mom wipes her eyes with a white handkerchief. That was when dad's funeral was being held. Many ponies came, but me and mom stayed the longest.
I flip to another page to see me when I was twelve sitting in the park with mom. She smiled as I played with all the birds that surrounded me. The little park in Cloudsdale was nothing compared to the ones down here. Mom took dad's little tradition and kept it alive. She always made sure that I was happy, no matter what. And I did the same for her, whenever I heard her cry at night.
I flip to another page to see my mom waving goodbye to me when I left for flight school. It was horrible there. Everypony was so mean to me, except one pony.
I flip to another page to see me, my mom, and a little Rainbow Dash smiling at the camera. Mom always liked Rainbow Dash. Mostly because she was the only one who stood up for me, whenever I got picked on.
I flip to another page to see mom in a hospital bed. I had my head in her lap and she caressed my mane. Rainbow Dash stood by my side and had her hoof on my shoulder. I was seventeen at the time. Mom also got lung cancer. A tear slips past my eyelid and streams down my cheek. I wipe it away.
I flip to another page to see my mom's tombstone with her name on it: Feather Shine. I stood in front of her grave crying into Dash's neck. She stood by my side the entire time. Lots of ponies came to her funeral, but yet again, I was the last one to remain.
Another tear slips past my eyelid and travels down my cheek. I wipe that one away too. I close the binder and set it aside. I look inside the box and see a toy rabbit inside. I pull it out and examine it. It was the same toy that dad bought me, when I was six. I always kept it with me at home because it was the last thing he ever gave to me. I look back inside the box and see a birthday card. I pick it up and read the words inside it.
Dear Fluttershy,
Your now thirteen years old. It pains me to see you grow up so fast, but that's just how life is. Your father would be very proud of you. I'm proud of you. I always have and always will be. I will always support in what you do and always will. You're my Fluttershy and nothing will change that. I love you, sweetheart. And happy birthday.
Love, mom.
A tear drips onto the birthday card and I gently wipe it off of the card. I don't want the card to get ruined. It was the only card that I could find after mom passed away. I still couldn't find the others I kept, for some reason. I place the card aside and look inside to see a picture frame. I pick it up to see me, when I was seven, and mom and dad all facing the camera. I'm in the front mom is on the left side of the picture and dad is on the right side of it. I had the toy rabbit in my arms.
More tears start to slip past my eyelids and I place the picture frame to the side. I wipe my cheeks and eyes, but more tears start to replace them. I slowly lay myself down and lay my head on my pillow. I start to cry into it with quiet sobs.
After awhile, I hear my door open and I look up to see Film Maker standing in the doorway. He looks at me with great concern on his face.
"Are you okay?" Film asked.
Oh, Film. I wish you didn't come up. "I-I'm f-fine." I sob.
Film slowly approaches me. "You look like you could use somepony right now." He said.
"No. I'm g-good."
He ignores what I say and slowly wraps his wings around me. I try to fight back, but I give in and lay my head into his shoulder. I start to sob into shoulder. Film uses a hoof to rub my back, gently. I cried and cried into shoulder for a long time. "Let it all out, Fluttershy. Nopony will judge you for it." He whispered into my ear. I cry even harder and go with his words.
After quite some time, I manage to calm down. My eyes feel heavy and I want to fall asleep into his shoulder, but he's already done enough for me. "I'm good now," I whisper.
"You sure?" Film asked me. I nod my head. I slowly folds his wings back and I pull my head away from his shoulder. I look into his eyes. "Feel better?" He gives me a small smile.
I give him a small smile back. "Better." I give him a hug and he returns the gesture. "Thank you."
Film sighed, softly. "No problem."
I release him from the hug and he gets off of my bed. He slowly trots to the door, but stops. He turns around and looks at me. "All the things on the list are finished, as you asked. I even did a double check before I came upstairs. "
"Thank you, Film."
"Also, if you ever need to cry again, just stop by my place or have me come over. I'll be here to support you. Anytime, anywhere."
I smile at his offer. "I'll make sure to remember that." Film nods and starts to walk out of the room. "One more thing, Film?" He comes back in to look at me. "Can you stay with me tonight. I don't want to be alone."
Film smiles. "Of course." He looks at the box next to me and all the stuff I pulled out of it. "Let me take care of that, first." I follow his gaze and notice the box. I tried to beat him to it, but he was too fast. He quickly placed the box on the bookshelf and looked back at me. "Where would you like me to be?" He asks.
"Right next to me." I respond.
Film lays on the bed next to me and looks at me. I look out of my window closest to me and see that the moon was in the sky. Wow, its been a long day today. I turn back to Film to see him staring up at the ceiling. A small shade of crimson dawning on his face. "Everything okay?" I ask him.
"I've never been in the same bed with a mare before." Film admits to me.
"It's okay." I cuddle up beside him and nestle my head into his shoulder. He drapes his wing around me to provide me warmth. "Me neither. I mean, with a stallion." He chuckles, lightly. "Hey, Film?"
"Yeah?"
"You meant it when you gave me that offer, right?"
"Of course I did. Every word of it. I'm a stallion of my word."
"Good." I smile and start to close my eyes. "Because I'm glad you gave me that offer. Goodnight, Film."
Film yawned. "Goodnight, Shy."
Finally, I have somepony that can hold me again when I cry. I'm glad that I cried today. I needed to cry.
THE END
Written By: Cameron
When I'm done crying, sleep helps me either take me to something better or worst. I just prepare for it all. Even when I don't expect it.
Author's Note
I hope you enjoyed. I ran into a very sad song today and it almost made me wanna cry. So instead, I finished one of my stories "Different" and wrote this one. Please be gentle with the feedback and I hope you enjoyed. Have a good day or night.
