“Whoooa, there, Rainbow. Y'all can't just barge up to the fron' of the line like that, you gotta pick a number like the rest of 'em.”
“Come on, AJ. I'm the best flier in all of Equestria! Of course Scoot and I get to start in front. Standard race precautions! Duh!”
“It may work like that in all your fancy races over in Cloudsdale, but back here on the farm at the Sisterhooves' Social y'all just better go pick your number and then head to the back of the pack, now. Better hurry—the race is about to start!”
Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo hurried over to Twilight Sparkle, who was organizing the whole event. Twilight plastered their team number--13--over their flanks while writing down their names and numbers. After this task was done, Twilight asked Rainbow Dash what their team name would be.
“Team name? What do we need a team name for?” Rainbow Dash asked incredulously. “It's just a quick race!”
“So we can do proper announcing! Duh!” said Pinkie Pie, who suddenly appeared out of one of the barrels that made up Twilight's makeshift work desk. “Spike and I had so much fun doing the announcing at last year's Running of the Leaves, we decided we'd do it for the Sisterhooves' Social together again! Doesn't that sound like fun!”
Dash yawned, half yearning just to get back in bed.“Won't all your rambling be annoying for all the ponies in town who are trying to sleep?” Like she would have wanted to do.
“That's why I need you and Scootaloo to come up with a team name,” Twilight explained. “I know a spell for a sort magical microphone that only projects its sound to a small group of ponies, who can in turn only be heard by other ponies in the group. But since so many pairs of sisters are entering the race this year, the best way to project the sound to all of the competitors and the audience is to pair everypony with team names so that my magic is strong enough to blend over all of you. Interesting concept, actually. It is based on a recently discovered theory of magic, called—”
“OK fine, we get it,” Dash interjected, rolling her eyes. “We need a team name. Any ideas, Scoot?”
“Team Rainbow?”
“...that won't work for the spell, since it only refers to one of you. See, according to the laws of pairing magic...” Twilight began to explain, rolling into some technical explanation about bindings of entities.
“No wait,” Scoot amended quickly, glancing worriedly at the impatient ponies at the start line. “I got it! A good team name! How about 'Team Awesome'!”
“Now that's more like it!” Dash said and gave Scootaloo a wing slap. Twilight dismissed the pair of ponies to their starting spot—way in the back, to Rainbow Dash's dismay—so she could preform the spell in peace. Once the spell was complete, she had said, the race would start immediately. Rainbow Dash started to stretch lazily, but gave up the whole prospect and decided that sitting around looking confident would yield more to her overall performance. Suddenly she felt Scootaloo poking her to get her attention and so she turned to the filly who looked surprisingly nervous.
“Rainbow Dash?” Scoot asked shakily. “I—I got a question. See, I'm worried about the race because we're number 13 and that's an unlucky number, but I don't want to be unlucky in my first real race with you and--”
Dash put her hoof over Scootaloo's mouth. “It's going to be fine, kid,” She said confidently. “You're forgetting who you're racing with here.” Dash flexed her wings but immediately regretted it. Scoot might be the toughest little kid she knew, but she did have a soft spot about not being able to fly yet. Rainbow Dash could see her deflate, but she quickly recovered her cool.
“Those other ponies are so going down!” she boasted. “Team Awesome is so definitely going to win!”
“Totally!” Dash added, giving her another wing slap.
But when Dash heard Pinkie and Spike give the countdown up from their hot air balloon, there was no more conversation. Concentrate, Dash...you've got to win this thing. We've got to win this thing.
Both ponies were fast, even without their wings and scooter, and so they managed to pass about half of the pairs fairly easily before arriving at the first obstacle. By the time Team Awesome was done with all the events and was left just with a clean seven-legged race before the finish line, Applejack and Apple Bloom were the only other racers in front of them. Scoot and Dash exchanged a quick look and sped up ahead. For the first time Dash actually bothered to listen to Pinkie's shrill announcing:
“Aaaaand, fighting for first place, Team Apple is ahead by a nose! But no, it's Team Awesome who's ahead by not just one, but two noses! But Team Apple speeds up, they're coming in for the kill—but now Team Awesome's in the lead, by exactly one point three noses--”
Spike cut her off, probably knowing no better way to change the subject. “Y'know Pinkie, this race kind of reminds me of our last Running of the Leaves race, with the huge rivalry reprising between Ponyville's two best athletes, Rainbow Dash and Applej--”
“Aaaand, it's Apple! Aaand, it's Awesome! Apple! Awesome! Apple! Awesome! Hee hee, that's really fun to say! Kinda sounds like Appeloosa. Apple-awesome-appeloosa-apple-awesome--”
The four lunged for the finish line, neck and neck, nose and nose—Scootaloo and Dash; Apple Bloom and Applejack.
“Aaaaaand, it's Apple! Team Apple wins this year's Sisterhooves' Social race! Who hooo!”
Disappointment flooded her as Dash heard the news. As all her friends well knew, she hated losing. She had promised herself—and Scootaloo—that they were going to win this thing for sure—but now what?
As Apple Bloom and Applejack were carried away with a big trophy by the cheering crowd, the other teams crossed the finish line and collapsed to their feet, clearly exhausted. But nobody cares about us; nobody cares about them. Second place ponies are noponies, Rainbow Dash thought dejectedly.
Rainbow Dash glanced over at Scootaloo, who was standing up but turning her head away from her, looking down to the ground—evidently trying to hide her facial expression. Dash saw several droplets of water under her face in the dry race ground—tears? Dammit! She tried to nudge her a bit to turn her around and snap her out of things, not really knowing how to deal best with the crying filly.
“I—I'm sorry we couldn't win our first Sisterhooves' Social race together, Scoot. Real sorry. Man, if I'd known it meant so much to you...I totally would have done something about it. I know if you were allowed to use your Scooter in the race, we would have won for sure. Ha, am I right or what?” Scootaloo showed no reaction to Rainbow Dash's “uplifting” speech. Dash nudged her again. “C'mon, Squirt—don't be upset. I hate losing too, but we just gotta deal with it.”
“Upset?” Scootaloo asked, turning around and wiping the tears from her eyes as best as she could. “I'm not upset. It's just--” The tears were slowly creeping back, she blinked them away furiously. “I—I'm just really happy that—that I can actually take part in the race this year. That—you know, that I have you there for me.”
“So you're not sad about losing the race?”
“Of course not! You're the best flier in all of Equestria. If you lose a race, it's the race's fault, not yours!” she says. The tears faded and Scoot transformed back to her normal self.
“Speaking of being the best in Equestria, our team name was awesome. Nice choice. We're totally keeping it the same when we win this race next year,” Dash replied, relieved that Scootaloo was back to normal.
“Next year?” Scootaloo hugged Dash tight, catching her completely by surprise and giving her no chance to reciprocate. “You're the awesomest sister in all of Equestria!” she exclaimed, as the tears slowly welled up again.
–
Sister.
The word echoed in her head as she tossed and turned in one of her favorite napping places located in the middle of Sweet Apple Acres. After Scootaloo had left her at the race, slightly teary, saying something about a Crusaders' meeting and having to go fetch her scooter, Rainbow Dash figured the best thing to do would be to take a nice and early nap to make up for having woken up at six in the morning. No matter how many times she tossed and turned, she couldn't get comfortable. She couldn't get Scootaloo off her mind. How glad she was when Dash agreed to take her under her wing, how worried she was before the race, how happy she was after—heck, she was in tears! Rainbow Dash could never remember a situation in her life so—happy?--that she actually cried.
Dash never really understood why Scootaloo clung to her so closely. Dash knew that there were loads of ponies in Ponyville who thought she was cool and all, but before that camping trip there weren't really any ponies who clung to her like Scootaloo did. It was that clinginess—why Scootaloo stuck to her, why she always came back for more—that made Scootaloo unique.
Like a little sister, kinda.
But no matter how many Sisterhooves Socials or Sisterly Camping Trips she would go to, Rainbow Dash felt like she would never feel comfortable being a sister. She didn't feel like a sister. She thought about Sweetie Belle, allowing Rarity to tread all over her just in exchange for an ounce of sisterly time. Would she do that for Scootaloo? It didn't feel like it. And thinking about Applejack and Apple Bloom's fairy tale perfect relationship just made Rainbow Dash want to throw up in her mouth a bit. No way she could ever be a sister like that.
To Applejack, to Rarity, to Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle—it seemed like their sisters were so important to them that they would have no idea how to live without them. Even Rarity would do anything for her sister if it had to be so. And Scootaloo. She had deprived herself to sleep and allowed herself to remain traumatized only to remain cool in Rainbow Dash's eyes. It was just Rainbow Dash who was the odd sister out.
What was wrong with her? Why hadn't she seen through Scootaloo's whole act then? Heck, screw then. Think about today. She had been so worried about losing that stupid race that she had completely been oblivious to Scootaloo's true reasons for crying until she had keyed her in. And even then, Rainbow Dash had no idea what to say. So of course, she, her stupid over-competitive self, had returned to talking about the race. C'mon, she asked herself. How much lamer can you get? Of course it had worked out OK this time around, but one of these times Scootaloo's clinginess would wear off. She would move on and realize Rainbow Dash was nothing but an unfeeling fraud.
Fraud, Dash thought, and a cold lump formed inside her throat at her harsh words, unwilling it to be true. But she didn't take it back. It's true. The truth hurts.
What had gotten in to her? Rainbow Dash didn't feel like much knowing, all she knew was that a good session of flying would pull her out of it. But practicing her newest routine couldn't even clear her head. Completing the last of the spins halfheartedly, she collapsed onto a bed of low-flying clouds exasperatedly, groaning loudly. She started off into the blue and white nothingness and saw orange and pink. She buried her face in the fluffy cloud and saw purple eyes, brimming with tears: “I'm just really happy that I can actually take part in the race this year. That I have you there for me.” And of course: “You're the awesomest sister in all of Equestria!”
And then she shook her head furiously, as if it would clear it all from the fog of sappiness that was keeping her from her nap. Think of Spitfire, she told herself. Think of Lightning Dust or Gilda. They wouldn't act like this. They're not going to want to see you like this. They're tough. They wouldn't get sad over something like this. And then, wait---since when am I sad?
In the Advanced Fliers' Guide to Being a Wonderbolt (For the longest of times it was the only book Rainbow Dash had ever owned), it said one of the most important things about being a Wonderbolt was toughness. And up until today, Rainbow Dash had skimmed over that first rule like it was nothing—because, well duh she was tough. But today, Rainbow didn't feel so tough. It was like when she hurt her wing and was grounded for a few days, except this wasn't preventing her from just flying. This omnipresent fog that made her unable to do anything. Grounding was bad, but at least you could sleep and read and stuff. But this—this was dangerous, dangerous stuff.
But whatever it was, it wouldn't stay around for long if Rainbow Dash couldn't help it.
–
“A sickness, you say? Are you sure? You seemed perfectly fine this morning,” Twilight Sparkle said incredulously. “And anyway, the doctor would be the pony to ask about sicknesses—not me.”
“Ugh, Twi—it's not a real sickness—it's--” Rainbow Dash struggled for the words she needed in the foggy wasteland that was the current state of her thoughts. How could she ever try to tell Twi what she was thinking without sounding really lame—or worse: weak? “Yeah—I was fine this morning, before the race,” she put in, not really sure what else to say.
“Are you tired from the race?” Twilight asked boredly, not taking her eyes off of her book.
“No! Of course not! I could have done the race in my sleep!”
“Are you just really tired from waking up early?”
“Ugh, no!” She fumed. “You don't get it—it's different from a normal sickness—it's--it's like--”
Like a brain sickness, kind of. Instead of working properly and letting me sleep and fly and stuff. I can't get my mind off of Scootaloo, so it keeps working all wrong and making everything I do kinda—bland. Foggy. But Dash knew that telling this to Twi would be so uncool that she would probably smack herself right after saying it. Simply put—it was an impossibility.
She didn't know what to think anymore.
“Thanks anyway, Twi,” she grumbled and fumed out of the building with a huff.
–
Dear diary journal,
Weird stuff has been happening to me, I swear. Just a few days ago my biggest concerns were the dwindling number of good napping spots in Ponyville; now I can't even think straight because of Scootaloo. Can you believe it?
See, Scoot asked me a while back if I wanted to enter the Sisterhooves' Social with her. All the pairs of sisters were entering, she said, even Rarity was entering with Sweetie Belle again this year. Again? I hadn't known she'd done the race before. It doesn't seem like a very...Rarityish thing to do. Not her type of thing, racing, nor is getting her hooves muddy. Unlike for me! So I said yes. Duh. As if I would want to miss out on a race.
I'd never entered the social, not having a sibling and all. It was little Scoot's first time in the race as well. But somehow, she already knew loads about it. She arrived at my place long before the crack of dawn on the day of the race—early this morning at about 4am, knocking on the door loudly. Apparently I slept through it though—up until the neighbor came at about 6 to shut Scoot up. It was from that guy where I heard that she'd been knocking since 4am...he was so ticked, he had the nerve not only to stop Scoot but also to barge in my home and blame me for the whole thing. Something about irresponsible childcare.
Here's what I think—I think that guy can snuff his face, because you can't be irresponsible without having any responsibility in the first place. Heck, I don't even know then who was in charge of taking care of Scoot. I had always figured she had some parent or something...but now I'm not so sure. Maybe I should ask her sometime.
But anyway, on to the race. So--
“Hey—hey Rainbow Dash!”
Not now, Scootaloo, Dash grumbled to herself and tried to hide her diary in a particularly lush treebranch and feign sleeping.
“Hey Rainbow Dash! I gotta ask you something!” Louder this time. So loud, so direct—Dash knew she wouldn't be able to get away with this one. She leaped out of the tree, purposely kicking up a huge cloud of dust as she landed right next to Scootaloo. Scootaloo coughed as the dust settled; Dash felt the fog throbbing in her head. Shut up, fog.
“So...” Scoot shuffled nervously. “Next week is my turn for Family Appreciation Day. I'm supposed to bring in a family member of mine who has an amazing story to tell. Now—I know usually it's ponies' parents and grandparents who come—because, well, they've had more time to find a story of their own. But I know you—everypony knows you—and so I was just wondering...just wondering, if--”
“If?”
“If—if you could come in for Family Appreciation Day. For me. As my sister.”
“Waaait. Let me get this straight. You want me to come as your sister,” she said slowly, as if there was some mistake—yeah, this was probably all a mistake—please, let there be a mistake.
Even if Dash knew this was no mistake.
Scootaloo crossed her legs, trying to keep her cool through the embarrassment. “Well—yeah.”
Dash wished she knew what Scoot was thinking—heck, Dash would be content peering into her own mind just this once, if it meant not making another drastic mistake where Scootaloo was concerned. If it meant getting rid of all this stupid fog stuck in her head. It was all Scootaloo's fault, really. She had caused the fog in the first place—going around talking about sisterhood willy-nilly like that.
Scootaloo cocked her head and Dash realized she expected a response.
Damn it—what do I say?
“To Family Appreciation Day?” Dash blurted. You stupid parrot. Of course Family Appreciation Day. Dash vaguely saw Scootaloo nod, but her thoughts, firing in all directions, were overpowering. “Don't you have any real family members that can come for you?”
“Well--” Scootaloo seemed to deflate for a moment but immediately brightened up again—the action was so subtle that it slipped beneath Dash's consciousness. “I've got you. Featherweight brought in his big sister, and--”
Rainbow Dash but a hoof over Scootaloo's mouth to silence her. It was just all too much to take in, all of this sister crap. She wasn't good at being a sister. She wasn't a sister. This was just Scootaloo taking things too seriously again, like when she starved herself of sleep at the camping trip trying to hide her fears or overworked herself before the flag carrying ceremony trying to fly.
“Look, kid. The race was nice and all—but you know, the two of us will never be anything more than Team Awesome. We're not sisters. We never will be. Got it?”
A lump formed in Dash's throat but she refused to acknowledge it was there. All she said was what they both knew was true. But why does it hurt so much? Not daring to catch a glimpse of Scootaloo's face, Dash kicked up another cloud of dust as she took off up into the sky.
--
Through the fog, Rainbow Dash could see one thing—she wasn't sad, not then, not now.
She remembered that day, applying for Wonderbolt Acadamy only to find out that although she was well qualified, they were forced to reject her because she was “many years under the age limit”. She remembered that day when Cloudsdale lost the competition for hosting the Equestria Games. And of course the race against the animals in Gastly Gorge where she was trapped under a large boulder and legitimately thought that that day would be her last. Then she was sad, angry, disappointed. But this was different.
Here—she couldn't get Scootaloo out of her mind. She thought of how tough Scoot was, despite everything she had to live through. Dash had always seen herself in Scoot from the second she first met her. But recently—with the camping trip, and of course today's race—Scoot had transformed into a completely different little filly. All of a sudden she wasn't such a tough nut after all.
Before the race, waking up extra early just to avoid being late for the race. Not even being mad at Dash when they were late. And then being all worried just because of a stupid unlucky number. And of course after the race—that whole scene, playing thousands of times before her eyes more vivid than any sort of memory spell could ever revive it. No matter how much Dash willed it to be untrue, even she could see it plain as day that Scootaloo had an enormous soft spot for a certain pony with a certain rainbow mane.
And despite herself, Dash hated it more than anything—just because she couldn't reciprocate. She was in a contest of sisterhood with Applejack and Rarity—a race—and losing terribly. Dash had heard Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle gushing over their sisters and all they do for and with them, and yet all Scootaloo could gush about was a few offhand comments. “Nice moves, kid?” “Next year?” To Dash, these were everyday comments and promises, but somehow Scootaloo had come to cherish them.
How heartless could she be? The closest thing to a hug Dash had given Scootaloo would have probably been right after she rescued her, when had given Scoot a brief half-wing hug. Hardly any of Rarity and Sweetie Belle's over-dramatic hugs or the loving motherliness of Applejack tucking Apple Bloom into bed every night.
Rainbow Dash suddenly realized that the fog in her head had cleared. She figured it was she could finally see the truth—she was an unbelievably heartless, cruel, clueless, unfeeling idiot.
No, not an idiot. Idiots had their moments to shine, even. This was worse—she was worse.
Like a robot, it dawned on her. I'm a robot.
–
Rainbow Dash pounded on the library door, after nopony answered she invited herself in. Twilight was at her desk, reading books as usual.
“Oh, hello Rainbow Dash. Hope you haven't been waiting for long—I'm reading this absolutely fascinating book about the history of medieval pony magic, and I--”
On a normal day Dash would have laughed at this. She would have teased her friend by calling her by both of her names, or by referring to a book about history as fascinating. But Dash wasn't feeling herself today and got right to the point.“Listen, Twi—do you have any books about robots?”
“You mean that one Daring Do book when she battled the robot? I thought you owned all of the Daring Do books already, Rainbow Dash,” Twilight said confusedly. “But I might have a copy lying around here somewhere. Oh, I wish Spike was here—he would probably know where I last put it. But he's off delivering books to the Canterlot Orphanage—you know, where Scootaloo used to live.”
“Scootaloo?” Dash echoed confusedly. But then she shook her head crossly, remembering what she had come for. “No—I mean, not a Daring Do book. Like, a real book.” Dash cocked her head expectantly. “You know...a book that doesn't just tell made up stories.”
It took Twilight a few moments longer to understand what Rainbow Dash meant, but after that her reaction was spectacular—there was even a small spark in her eye.“A research book? You really mean it? Oh, goodness—and about robotics, too! I've got at least fifty books on the subject. I know, it's all make believe stuff—the science is never quite accurate—but I've recently really warmed up to the subject, and you'd be surprised how interesting it can be! I've got blueprints and codes and diagrams and models and oooh, this is so exciting! Robotics and You might be a good place to start—but of course 100 Simple Tasks Automated might be a better fit for you if you want to get into the more practical aspect of the field. Of course if you're feeling like a book with less technical stuff, The Limits of Robots might just be the book for you. It goes into great detail about relationships between robots and ponies (all theoretical, of course), as well as questions such as the classic question if robots could ever truly posses feelings--”
Rainbow Dash snatched The Limits of Robots away from Twilight, cutting her off mid-sentence, then dashed away without saying another word.
–
Dash returned to one of her favorite napping clouds, opened The Limits of Robots to the very first page, and began to read: “In the vast field of robotics, there is only one thing more interesting than the thousands of blueprints of robots we have designed—namely the enormous (perhaps infinite?) amount of possibilities of robotic creations yet to be invented. It is this enormous field of the unknown of robotics that the author would like to discuss in this book, specifically under popular topics, such as: The Possibility and/or Probability of their Existence (Part 1); Communication: robot to robot, robot to pony (Part 2) ; and of course, Feelings and Instincts: how far can they go? (Part 3).” Dash was too excited to complain about the lack of plot and action in this book. She immediately skipped to Part 3 (why bother to read about existence and communication; it was clear that she, as a robot, could do both) and continued to read: “The topic of robot feelings and instincts is the trickiest to discuss of the three, due to the fact that it is currently unknown how pony feelings work. Is it possible to program delicate emotions, such as empathy, love, or pain, into a robot? Is it possible to have a baby robot instantly tend to his mother, and to have his mother immediately feel the urge to protect him for her life? Or are these things so delicately woven into our own heads that it would be impossible for a robot to ever completely master them? Perhaps robots can only reproduce feelings in the most shallow of ways, likewise, only inhibit the most basic of instincts.”
She had barely begun to read, but already this book—this treasure—was beginning to confirm her suspicions. She had feelings, she had instincts—but they were only those of a robot. Of course she couldn't empathize with Scootaloo, or act sisterly enough around her—they simply weren't part of her pre-programed, robotic self. It was obvious.
Listen to myself, Dash thought. I've gone completely crazy. I'm worse than Pinkie Pie—even she wouldn't come up with an idea as stupid as this.
She suddenly was reminded of that Daring Do book (Daring Do and the Ultimate Quest) about the robot. In the book, Daring was searching for the last piece to the golden compass that would point to her destiny. In order to attain this piece, she had to battle nothing less than a giant robot that was threatening to destroy all of Equestria—and stop at nothing to do so. Unlike all of the other villians—who usually made plunders, had weaknesses and soft spots—this villian was ultimate. Instead of crying “NOOOO!” when Daring escaped, it simply took a detour to recapture her—losing no time for panic, no time for feelings. He had no other motive other than to completely destroy Daring Do—both inside and out. After easily defeating her in a long-winded battle he banishes her far away, giving him enough time to capture her little sister before Daring comes back to the dungeon. The cruel, calculating genius makes her choose between saving her ultimate destiny and her little sister, and after Daring realizes she is in no condition to defeat this villain, nor will she ever be—she unhesitatingly lets the last piece of her ultimate quest—nothing other than her entire destiny, her entire purpose in life—only to save her sister. The two hug and cry—making the first sappy moment of the entire series, and because of this Dash had closed the book and refused to read the ending since. (How lame, Dash had thought angrily, to end her quest like that? To completely ruin Daring Do's enormous efforts, her reputation, her dreams?)
Dash had always thought herself to be very much like Daring Do—undeniably, unquestionably, unstoppable—but of course now she realized that she was very different from Daring Do. Dash saw herself moreso in that giant heartless robot. He too was awesome, fast, strong, and overall unstoppable—but unlike Daring Do, he wasn't a good big sister. Dash tried to imagine herself in the story—not like usual with greyscale mane and compass cutie mark, but with a flashing visor with red lights where eyes should be; rockets where wings should be; laser guns where legs should be. She couldn't really picture it as well; but she figured she'd get used to it soon enough.
Dash found it quite ironic how the whole discovery played out. Just a while ago she was worried about evoking too much feeling when in reality she possessed far to little. Spitfire, Gilda, Lightning Dust—they do have feelings, Dash realized. Spitfire had cried when she first became a Wonderbolt; Gilda had gotten offended and overly sensitive by a few harmless pranks; Lightning Dust even shed half a tear after being kicked out of Wonderbolt Acadamy.
I'm the only one who's rock hard, inside and out.
Half a tear fell onto the cloud, turning a small fluffy white patch grey, and as the sun fell beneath the horizon making way for a thousand sparkling stars, the whole cloud had gone grey.
–
Sometime during Dash's crying session the cloud she was perched on must have been blown away or something, for when she wiped and opened her eyes, she found her cloud tangled in one of the gnarly trees in the Everfree Forest. Dash kicked the cloud away and readied her wings to fly away, but pain shot through her right wing and she crashed to the ground before she could do anything to stop it.
But emotionally, she felt much better now. The fog was gone; her concerns about being a robot were not absent, but they were not active in her mind.
She looked at her wing again, wondering what was wrong with it, but it was already neatly bandaged, fresh out of the hospital. Huh. The whole affair failed to cross Dash's mind again, and she started heading deeper through the forest. Trotting this slowly felt unnatural to Dash, since she pretty much flew around whenever she could to increase endurance, and she would trip on a twig or rock now or then.
For some odd reason she found herself walking across the old abandoned bridge that she had tied for her friends oh so long ago that lead to the Princesses' ancient palace. She felt uneasy, walking in the dark, with no wings to save her should the bridge break.
The place wasn't much different from how she had last seen it—magnificent staircases, cavernous hallways and endlessly high ceilings—all made out of dark grey aging stone. The remaining shards of five of the elements of harmony still laid there in five distinct heaps. Dash automatically was drawn to her own element and spent a good deal of time playing with the shards, slowly fitting the pieces back together again. She soon finished this task and stepped a pace back to admire her work.
“Good as new—or should I say, old,” said a sweet but unfamiliar voice. Rainbow Dash dimly recognized it from somewhere but was too startled to remember who it belonged to. She spun around, but saw nopony.
“Who are you? Where are you?” Dash called out hostilely, suddenly nervous somepony had seen her playing with the puzzle, like an egghead or something.
“You know me, Rainbow Dash,” the voice resounded. “You know me better than most. I am what you most desire—but not just that!” the voice paused, but the words echoed. “I am both your worst fear and biggest dream,” the voice continued.
Dash wanted to cry out that she had no biggest fear, nor a second biggest fear, nor any at all, she wanted to cry out that the voice could never be her biggest dream, for Dash knew that that voice belonged to no Wonderbolt. But her tongue was tied and she ended up saying nothing, instead turning around and glancing at the night sky. She found herself searching for the moon, but it was nowhere to be found. Suddenly, right before her eyes, one of the brightest stars faded out into the blackness, to be replaced by a flying figure coming straight to Dash.
Princess Luna?
Luna landed right in front of the paralyzed Dash, who bowed to Luna automatically. “Hey, Princess...”
Luna nodded awkwardly and shuffled to Dash's side so that both ponies were gazing out the front window at the night sky. “Tonight is a new moon,” Luna explained, quietly but regaly. “It is a time of rest for the moon, and thus for me. On the night of the new moon, the stars watch over all of the ponies in Equestria. The nights are of course darker, but still safe. Not as scary as any other night, really.”
“I'm not afraid of anything,” Rainbow Dash bristled. She felt Luna's searching eyes but refused to look into them.
“A little orange and purple filly once told me the same thing,” Luna countered, “But eventually realized she had a fear far deeper than most.”
Something awoke inside Dash, something burning, something angry. “Don't talk about Scootaloo with me,” she snapped, not caring that it was a princess that she was talking to.
But Luna either didn't appear to mind Dash's tone—or, in any case, just ignored it. “In the end, she wasn't nearly as scared of the headless horse as she was of losing the pony she treasures the most.”
I'm not listening, Dash screamed in her head. I don't care.
Even if she knew she did.
Luna continued. “You are the element of Loyalty. Loyal are thou to your friends, to your home, to your dreams, to your principles. And amidst learning to be a good and loyal sister too, you have almost forgotten what it means to be loyal to yourself. I daresay I needn't teach you what you can do best, so I will leave it to you and your element to do what must be done. Remember my words, Rainbow Dash. Never forget what is important to you most.”
And as the Princess flew back into the sky, the fog started to creep back into Dash's brain; she shook her head, trying to free it away; she attempted to fly away but only felt her right wing (suddenly no longer bandaged) jolt in pain; she looked down at the hard stone ground, then up to the endless ceiling, then once more down—but suddenly there wasn't any ground; Dash was falling, falling, falling down. There was no point of return...
–
...except waking up, perhaps.
Rainbow Dash was back in her favorite sleeping place, her cloud still intact. Her right wing was unbandaged; functioning and healthy.
The fog was gone.
The sun was slowly creeping up, and as the last of the stars disappeared, Dash could swear she saw one of the brightest ones wink at her. It was probably nothing, though.
She set off for yet another journey on foot, but this time she knew exactly where she was going, and arrived at Scootaloo's scooter shed before the sunrise was over. Scootaloo would soon be there to pick up her scooter, and Dash sat down on a nearby tree stump to wait.
Once Scootaloo sleepily plundered around the corner Dash could see her half-opened lids pop open, both surprised and frightened. “Rainbow Dash! What—what are you doing here?”
“I—I was wondering if--” Dash couldn't believe she was stuttering, in front of Scoot, of all ponies. “--if you wanted to hang around with me for the day. Just sorta hanging out, you know--taking care of Tank, maybe the odd weather job here and there. And then--” the words started flowing easier, and Dash let them all come out. “And then if you wanted, you could maybe sleep at my place for the night—just as long as you don't snore, of course,” she joked, and then grinned. And before Dash knew what she was doing, she was hugging Scootaloo—a real, tight hug, not one of those fake one-hoofed ones. And Scootaloo was hugging her back, too.
–
Dash didn't bother to knock before entering at the library. Twilight was alone, furiously dabbing a quill into an empty inkwell. She groaned in frustration and threw the inkwell across the room. Only when she turned around did she notice Rainbow Dash. In her saddlebag was the book The Limits of Robots.
“Done already? That was fast,” remarked Twilight. She levitated the book out of Dash's bag and refiled it onto its correct shelf.
“Actually, I didn't really make it past the first chapter,” Dash admitted. “But that's not why I'm here. I wanted to see if you knew anything else about Scootaloo. Y'know...because we never really see her folks around town or anything.”
“I think that's a question you should ask Scootaloo herself, Rainbow Dash,” Twilight returned calmly. “She's the pony who would know about that best.”
Dash left the library without another word.
–
The setting sun was still visible up high in Dash's house in the clouds. Dash glanced at Scootaloo, who was loudly slurping up the last of her hot cocoa. She had been her houseguest for a few days now, but it all felt like a blur since Dash had first invited Scootaloo to spend the night. Time passed by so quickly when she spent time with Scootaloo. Scoot did have her annoying moments, but it was all worth it in the end.
Scootaloo noticed Rainbow Dash looking out the window. She glanced at the darkening sky and immediately groaned. “Bedtime already?”
Dash grinned. “Not just yet. You might be a bit too excited for sleeping after I show you this.” She lead the eager filly up into her bedroom. Scoot's uncomfortable floor bed (a mess of blankets and cloud Dash had tied together at the last minute) had been replaced by a large bed, almost as regal as Dash's own. “I figured if you wanted to move in with me permanently you might as well have a bed of your own.” Scootaloo's smile grew and grew, and at last she could no longer contain herself and lept over to the bed. Dash sat beside her.
“Look, Squirt—I asked Twilight about you and your past—you know, the whole orphanage thing. At first she wanted me to ask you personally, but eventually she gave in and told me everything she knew. And I know you've been happy with this whole “Ponyville-adopts-filly” arrangement you've got going on here, but I'm not.” Dash took a deep breath. “I don't want any little sister of mine having anything less than the absolute best. And by best, I mean—well—with me. Moving in with me.” Tears were welling up in the corners of Scootaloo's eyelids. Did I say something wrong? Dash panicked. “I mean—if that's ok with you, of course.”
“I dunno,” responded a teary eyed Scoot. “I think I'll have to check in with my big sister first.”
The two hugged (not without tears) for a long time before separating into their own beds ad drifting off to sleep. We may be no Apple family sisters, Dash realized, but I'd say we're close enough.
–
Dash cleared her throat, feeling oddly out of place in the schoolhouse. “So...yeah. Family Appreciation Day. I'm supposed to tell you lot an exciting story about myself.” She let out a short laugh. “Got plenty of those all right.”
Most of the little ponies laughed slightly, a certain filly with a scooter parked against her desk did not alter her blank facial expression.
“You know, the funny thing is—most of the awesome stuff I've accomplished—it actually wasn't really a big deal for me. I mean, flying fast and stuff is awesome and all, but at the end of the day that's not really what matters.” She glanced at Scoot, who was smiling slightly. “Like—I was way more proud of getting myself out of Wonderbolt Academy then getting in there. Heck—I practically did that entry test in my sleep! As a little filly! But it took real guts to step out, you know.” Dash felt her eyes roll back slightly, reliving the moment. “It was hard, 'cause I had to make this choice, you know? Stay in academy, feel horrible about self. Quit academy, abandon my dream—my lifelong dream—of being a Wonderbolt. And at first, you know, feeling a bit queasy about doing some dodgy stuff with Lightning Dust wasn't that bad—not nearly as bad as losing the chance to be a Wonderbolt, for fuck's sake.” Dash noticed Cheerilee glaring at her. “I mean—for crying out loud.”
Dash continued. “Because, it was written in my cutie mark, right? Being a Wonderbolt an all.” She put up the only slide she had brought for her presentation—a magnified picture of her lightning bolt cutie mark. “But you know what? That's not what my cutie mark represents, at all. Because if it did, I probably would have gotten it becoming a Wonderbolt. But that hasn't happened yet, now has it?” She kicked the slide back up. “You all know my cutie mark story already. It was the Sonic Rainboom, right? I got my cutie mark when I did the Sonic Rainboom. So my special talent is preforming a Sonic Freakin' Rainboom at competitions and weddings and shit, right? That's why my cutie mark is a donut-shaped rainbow, right? That's why I wake up in the morning and say: 'today—I'm gonna do a Sonic Rainboom. I'm gonna save the world, all thanks to my Sonic Rainboom- Ooh—ooh--maybe I'll try a Double Rainboom today! Wouldn't that be exciting?'” Dash took a deep breath and realized she was almost yelling, and stated more calmly: “No. That's not it either.”
Little round filly faces sat there, all silent, eyes begging for her to continue. Dash's eyes glazed over Scootaloo; she was too scared to look.
Dash's voice wavered through the heavy silence. “I got my cutie mark once I realized that winning that race to defend Fluttershy's honor made me fly in a way I'd never flown before. I knew that I wasn't going to let her down in a million years. Because that's what I'm all about. Loyalty—my element. Because at the end of the day, that's what matters to me more than everything.”
A snicker could be heard coming from the back corner of the room: “Booring...who knew she of all ponies could be so cheesy?” Giggles could be heard.
“It's not cheesy,” Dash countered—the owner of the snarky comment assumed a worried expression, not intending the comment to be heard. “It's true. C'mere, you. Show me your cutie mark.”
Diamond Tiara held her head up high as she walked up to the front of the class and spun sideways, showing her cutie mark to the class and Rainbow Dash in turn.
“I know you,” Dash grimaced. “You're that bitch who bullies Scootaloo and her friends all the time, aren't you?” Eyes narrowed, clean language was the least of Dash's worries. “Do you really think your destiny involves nothing more than you wearing that—that crown thingy all day, prancing around in it pretending you're better than other ponies since their daddies can't afford half of the stuff your daddy can?” Dash stomped her hoof once, loudly. “Look, kid—you got your cutie mark waaay to early. You're prancing all over the place, thinking you're all high and mighty since you have a cutie mark and are all self realized and shit. Well you know what? One day—if you're lucky--you'll realize that that crown thingy on your flank has nothing to do with that gaudy one on your head. Maybe you'll look back on that day you got your cutie mark and find out what your cutie mark is really telling you. But until now, stop fucking bullying the Cutie Mark Crusaders because they don't have their cutie marks yet. Because you know what? When they do get their cutie marks, they'll know what they're for. They'll realize that it doesn't matter if they can't zipline or bowl or do who knows what else they've tried. They'll find what's best for them, what means most to them, what—at the end of the day—means everything to them.”
“So?” Diamond Tiara asked in return, mustering up all of the sass she possessed.
Rainbow Dash sighed. She wasn't going to convince the little filly overnight. “Sit down, you little shit. Maybe when you grow up a bit you'll remember what I've said today.”
Diamond Tiara returned to her seat—head held high, but slouching.
–
...[journal entry cont.]
Cheerilee cut me off there, saying something about running out of time. Scoot and I were talking about it after, though, and she figured it probably had more to do with my swearing than the time since my presentation was one of the shortest they'd had before.
I couldn't help but notice how her eyes kinda sparkled every time I mentioned the presentation. She really enjoyed it, I think. Me ridiculing Diamond Tiara and all.
Dash looked outside and realized it was time for her to pick up Scoot from school. She shoved her diary under her pillow and grabbed for her saddlebag, racing down to the schoolhouse. It was a tradition they had. Nopony else got picked up after school, but Scootaloo loved it.
As she approached the schoolhouse, Dash heard a shrill call--”Blank flanks!”--followed by mean-spirited snickers. Oh, great. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon were bullying Scootaloo and her friends again. Ever since Dash had come in for Family Appreciation day, Diamond Tiara was dead afraid of her and nothing less than an angel in her presence, but as Scootaloo had much-too-often reported, once Dash was gone, the teasing continued.
As soon as Diamond Tiara saw her she stopped the snickering immediately. Dash could have sworn she heard the young filly whisper to her friend that “if we go fast enough, she won't see us”. For once in her life Dash opted out of the head-on-head conflict. Scootaloo had to face some things on her own.
“How was school?” Dash asked.
“Horrible,” Scootaloo replied dejectedly. Dash looked up startledly—Scootaloo wasn't the most studious of ponies but she did usually enjoy school. “Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle were home sick so Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon were on me like sharks today. And to make things worse, we just had to talk about famous cutie marks in history class today.”
“You know if it were legal I would kill her for you, do you?” Dash said, only half joking.
Scootaloo let out a little laugh but went right back into her funk, silent.
“Look, Scoot. Waiting for your cutie mark might not be such a bad thing, after all,” Dash started tentatively.
“You were the first filly in your class to get her cutie mark,” Scootaloo retorted bitterly.
“I was the first filly in my class to get a pretty picture permanently stuck to my flank. But that's not what a cutie mark is about. It's about destiny. It's about self-realization. It was probably just two years ago that I truly learned what it means to be me, the Element of Loyalty. So in that respect...I was one of the last to really, truly get my cutie mark.”
“But...what if...what if I have no destiny? I'm a pegasus who can't fly, I'm the laughingstock of the school. I'm...nopony...with no life...with no purpose!” Scootaloo cried out desperately.
Dash stopped and turned around to face her little sister suddenly, putting a hoof over her shoulder. “You know, Scoot—being the Element of Loyalty or whatever they want to call me doesn't mean I'm 110% loyal, every day, every way. I mess up too...big time. A little while ago I even lost the most important loyalty of all—the loyalty to myself. Integrity. Being there for other ponies is great and all that, but before you start doing stuff for others you gotta start with yourself. You gotta know who you are, where you are, and where you want to go. You're not nopony, Scoot. You're an awesome little filly who can do crazy awesome stuff on a scooter and who's not afraid of anything. And you're still growing, but that doesn't matter, you just have to follow yourself as you grow and always stand there. Because in the end that's really what matters.”
Scootaloo said nothing, just hugged Rainbow Dash tightly. Dash didn't know what else to say so she silently reciprocated.
“Let's head on home.”
“OK, Rainbow Dash.”
–
…[journal entry cont.]
...and that would pretty much be the story of how Scoot moved in in the first place. Goodnight, diary. I'm getting tired.
Before snapping her journal shut, Dash scanned over the last few pages. Weird weather patterns, a prank with Pinkie Pie—but most of it was really about Scootaloo. What they did after school, them pranking Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon that one time, and of course—her Family Appreciation Day speech and the follow up conversation with Scoot alone.
Dash read through her words again, knowing that they were probably way different spoken. Despite the fact she could well picture herself standing before the class, before Diamond Tiara, before Scootaloo.
She knew she had a slight ego problem and was trying to work on it, but this time, she just couldn't help herself. “I. Am. AWESOME!!” Dash whisper-squeed, as to not wake the already-sleeping Scootaloo.
But seriously, this stuff is pretty deep. Just a little while ago Dash never would have believed to have ever been called “cheesy”. Now she was proud of it. Just thinking of what life would have been like without Scootaloo was...unimaginable. She could barely remember what it was like not being at the schoolhouse, Monday through Friday at mid-afternoon, or what her bedroom looked like with just one single bed.
And thinking about Scootaloo, what her life must have been like before she moved in, how she, other than her friends, had no one, how she had constantly strived for affection from an idol who only very recently even acknowledged it, Dash could already feel her eyes welling up.
Well Dash, she thought, wiping her eyes. At least you can be pretty sure that you're not a robot.
Author's Note
CRUSH. KILL. DESTROY. SWAG. xD
That was it! Hope you enjoyed. Fun fact: I actually started writing this before Sleepless in Ponyville aired and added in the references to the episode after the fact. Question: was the pacing off? In some places I feel like I rushed it. I don't have an editor, soo...yeah. Tell me in the comments, I guess.
