A Nightmare Come To Life

by Alcatraz

Rating: teen
Tags: Other, Nightmare Moon, Sex, Random, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Human, Main 6, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Alternate Universe, Comedy
Length: 115090

After getting stabbed, Joseph wakes up to a new life in the body of one of Equestria's most infamous villains.

Click this to read about the hiatus.

We’ve all had nightmares, but do any of us actually know where they come from?

What if, one day, you woke up as the embodiment of nightmares themselves?

In an alley one night, Joseph gets fatally injured after saving a woman from her terrifying nightmares.

He wakes up somehow, but he quickly finds out that he isn’t in his own body. Instead, he wakes up in the body of one of Equestria's most infamous villains.

Joseph must adapt to a world completely alien to him, as well as adjusting to his new body while trying to figure out what, or who he is.

Featured 13/08 & 14/08/14
Update Feature: 4/10/15, 01/06/16, 17/8/16, 4/12/16, 30/1/17

'Sex' tag added for strong cases of innuendo.
'Dark' tag because this fic deals with morose themes.

Edited and proofread by:
Requiem17
Blue Blaze {COMET}
The Abyss
thesaviour711
Twisted Code
Waffle God
Arcane Spirit
Samaru163
Updated as people help. Includes one-time favours and single chapters.

A/N: Tags will be updated as necessary. Constructive criticism and ego stroking are both welcome. Set both in a world where MLP doesn't exist, and after the events of first two episodes of season one. A show-accurate period of events is not likely.

Published 2014-08-12 04:00:06 UTC
Last updated 2017-01-30 00:24:23 UTC

02| Explanations

Author's Note

You'll have to forgive me, the chapter is rather dialogue-heavy due to the explaining of how Joseph came into the Equestrian world. On that note, let me clarify that Joseph internally speaks with apostrophes whilst NMM doesn't. That's just to distinguish the two.

That being said, I'm surprised nobody's picked up on the Easter Egg I hid within the story!

02| Explanations

It wasn't long after Joseph fell asleep that he found himself floating in an empty, ethereal black space. What puzzled him is the uncertainty of whether or not he was standing on something solid that blended in with the place he was in, or if he was floating instead. His feet were flat, suggesting he was stranding on something, but that could simply be a trick of the mind, or an illusion.

He looked around more, to gauge what exactly this place was, but it was black as far as the eye could see. He looked down at his feet, and that's when it hit him.

'I have my feet back!'

He couldn't believe his luck. Knowing he had fallen asleep, he wondered if this was the dream, and the other place he was in could be the real world; or at least what could be loosely called real given the circumstances.

So we are finally able to meet, echoed a voice.

"Who's there?" He replied. "What is this place?" Anxiously turning his body on the spot in an attempt to locate the voice, he eventually caught sight of something he vaguely recognized coming into view; the form rippling into existence like dropping a pebble into a puddle while looking at your reflection. Joseph focused on the form with disbelief. "YOU! How can I be... And you... What the heck is going on!?"

Calm down, came the soft reply. I am not entirely sure myself, but I have a few ideas. The form in question looked liked the one Joe woke up in, only the one he was looking at was wearing armour of some description on its hooves, a chest-plate, and a helmet. The cloud-like, well, what could be hair somehow penetrated the back of the helmet to flow behind her.

"Firstly, you can tell me who you are!"

She replied without moving her lips. I am Nightmare Moon.

"So you're the reason why those crazy horse-things have been calling me that!"

Presumably, Nightmare Moon nonchalantly replied.

"That's another thing. You're not moving your lips but I can still hear you? How does that work?"

We are of the same mind and body. Some might call it telepathy, but that would be an easy way to explain it.

'So if I speak in my head like this you can still hear me?'

Correct.

"That's freaky as hell. Can we just stick to not using telepathy, or whatever you call it?"

"Very well. Now as for why you're here..." Nightmare moon brought a hoof to her chin in thought. "When those ponies stripped me off of Luna, they left behi—"

"Woah woah woah, one thing at a time. What do you mean by 'stripped me off of Luna'? Who the fuck is Luna anyway?!"

"The form you are seeing is a manifestation. In the real world, I have no real form. In a sense, I require a host body to survive."

"So what's that got to do with me, and how come I have your body 'in the real world'." Joseph finished the last few words with sarcastic quotation marks made by his fingers. He wasn't quite sure Nightmare Moon understood what he was trying to do with his fingers after the fact.

"You see..." She heaved a sigh before placing a hoof on her temple, contemplating her next words. "My armour—the set you see on me right now—was left broken and shattered. I had placed a spell upon it, that if, or in this case when I got defeated, the shards would find another suitable host."

"I'm going to pretend that makes sense. So what about this 'Luna'?"

"When I said I cannot survive without a host body, that's the part of me that existed in the real world. Luna's soul was becoming more and more tainted with darkness as time went on, and that growing darkness allowed me to enter her body and take control. She would have existed as you see me now."

"So, let me get this straight," Joseph began, crossing his arms. "Little Miss Luna was depressed. You got a hold of her and turned her into you." The last word was punctuated by Joseph unfolding his arms to gesture at the mare standing before him, then refolding his arms. "Then what about these 'Elements' I keep hearing about?"

"The Elements of Harmony are powerful gemstones imbued with magic. They had the ability to strip my form from Luna, which left the armour broken."

"Then the armor somehow chose me as its new host?"

"It would seem that way.

"Then how come I have your body?"

"I am not sure. My best guess would be that your mind controls the reconstructed body, while my ethereal form—" Joseph opened his mouth briefly but Nightmare Moon cut him off. "—hold on! Allow me to elaborate. My ethereal body, as it were, was what some called 'The Miasma'. It corrupted ponies that were weak enough in mind."

"By definition, isn't a miasma an unpleasant cloud of sorts? The kind created when you fart?"

"That's... one way to look at it," Nightmare Moon replied with a perturbed look on her face.

"Let me condense this to where I can understand it. Your armour chose me as a host. You were an evil cloud that corrupted minds, turning them into evil versions of themselves. I am now you, on another world, possibly galaxy, even universe." Nightmare Moon nodded. "Still begs the question of how I got here from Earth."

"When I enchanted my armour to find another host when it was torn from the host at the time, I guess I didn't set the parameters correctly. More like; 'When I die find someone else'. I didn't specify whom, what, or where from. It just... Happened."

Joseph's demeanour softened as he relaxed himself. "Before I got here, I saved a women from getting raped. I got stabbed, and I died. The last thing I saw was a lot of colours, then I looked at the moon as it flashed. Next thing I know, I wake up in your body, but without the armour."

She nodded. "I think that's about all I can explain at the moment, at least what is to the best of our understandings."

"The only thing I can think of adding at this point is the spell within the armour somehow picked up that I was dying and plucked me from my world. How it did that is still up for debate."

Nightmare Moon nodded. "Yes. But for now I must go, you have company. I will be with you if you need me. Think, and I will answer."

At that moment, Joseph felt himself being pulled by the chest by a length of rope. His vision swam with black and white colours as he woke up from his dream. Blinking several times, he looked around to see Celestia looking curiously at him from the foot of the bed.

"Have a good sleep?" She asked.

Joe found the question odd. As far as he knew, he's the bad guy. Well, in the body of the bad guy. "I just had the weirdest dream..." He wearily replied.

"It would seem so. My sister wasn't able to access your dreams."

"Wait, WHAT!?"

"That is a story for another time. But for now, I digress." She turned behind her to the door and called out, "Come in, Twilight." The byzantium mare from before walked into the room, levitating a parchment and quill. Celestia turned her gaze back to Joe. "My student here will be documenting this unusual case. Care to shed any light..." She trailed off, realizing she hadn't learnt his name.

"Joseph," He answered. "My name is Joseph Merrick."

"Very well then, Joseph. Tell me your story of how you came to be here."

So for the next while, Joe began recounting the story of the events leading up to him waking up. The office, getting stabbed, the weird thing with the moon, waking up in the castle, seeing Twilight and the rest. It wasn't until he got to the part about the dream that things began to get interesting. Twilight's eyes widened in disbelief, and the scratching of quill on parchment intensified as he gave his best explanation.

Choosing his words carefully, he explained that the armour pieces that were left behind when the Elements stripped the rest of The Miasma away were enchanted. The enchantment was designed to find another host body after its current host got defeated, and wound up picking him via some indeterminate means.

"Fascinating!" Beamed Twilight. "It seems that Nightmare Moon's armour reconstructed her body with Joseph here as its host, while the subconscious of The Miasma still resides within his mind. You control the body, physically and mentally, but one cannot exist without the other in this case. I think that the armour and the consciousness of The Miasma have created a symbiotic relationship with you, where it depends on you to survive as its new host." She paused both to take a breath, and to contemplate her next sentence. "It's almost like the consciousness of Nightmare Moon is fully aware, but in a waking coma. Joseph, meanwhile, is somehow the more dominant of the two, controlling what the body does."

"So why am I a horse?"

Twilight shrugged. "My best guess is that it created the last form it remembered. If you got stabbed, as you explained, The Miasma might not have known about your body's physiology to repair it, so it made one it knew about beforehoof."

Joseph's eye twitched. "Did you just..."

"Just what?"

"Have you not heard of hands before?"

"What are hands?" The mention of hands confused Twilight and Celestia, judging by the looks on their faces.

A lightbulb went off in Joe's head. "The dragon! He has hands!"

"Those are claws..." Twilight deadpanned.

"Call them what you must, but those are the best comparison to hands I can think of."

To which Twilight replied in passing; "Lyra would like to hear that..."

Joseph didn't say anything, he just rolled his eyes in mock contempt. "After all that, what happens now?"

Celestia's expression became suddenly sombre. "I am not sure what I should do with you. I can't very well let you wander around freely; our subjects would go into a panicked frenzy that you—er Nightmare Moon—is still alive."

"If I may, princess?" Spoke Twilight as she rolled up the parchment she was taking notes on and put it in her bags. Celestia and Joseph turning to look at her. "We've established this isn't Nightmare Moon; just her body. The creature—"

"Hey!"

"—person, sorry, is the one in the same before he got pulled from his world. As far as I'm concerned, there's no reason not to trust him. I say give him benefit of the doubt."

"Very well, my student." Celestia turned to look back at Joseph. "I've no reason not to trust you; I'm only apprehensive of whom you resemble. I shall give you quarters of your own that include amenities, as well as access to the staff so you can request food and the like. There will also be books and writing material to keep you occupied."

"Thank you..." Breathed Joseph, relaxing somewhat.

"But I also need to inform my sister about the situation. She will want to be aware of what has transpired here. I'll have a guard show you to your room."

Celestia curtly nodded, and turned to leave through the door with Twilight. She muttered a few whispers outside, and a guard poked his head through the door to look at Joseph. Through the golden armour and white of his coat, the guard turned an even paler shade of white than anyone thought possible. The guard calmly—and rather comically as Joe found himself smirking at the guard's reaction—withdrew his head from the door.

"Please tell me that isn't whom I think it is, your majesty!" He whisper-shouted, much to Joe's amusement.

"They are a guest," she replied sweetly. "You will award them the same courtesy as anyone else. Have I made myself clear?"

"Yes, your majesty," was the reply. He stuck his head back through the door. "If you'll follow me, please."

Joseph made an attempt to get out of bed. Still rather unfamiliar with his new body, he put his front hooves on the ground over the edge of the bed, and used those to pull himself off the mattress as his rear hooves fell to the ground. Shakily standing on his hooves, he took a step forward. The guard must've be enjoying the sight, because Joe heard him snicker.

"What?" He snapped, and shot a dirty look at the guard.

"Pardon me, but I've not seen somepony act like that."

"Somepo... Did you just..." Joe looked at him with an, are you fucking kidding me, face, his nostril twitching with irritation. "*Ahem* Tell me something," he added, still trying to garner his new motor skills. "Why do you creatures seem to have it in for me, or rather, this Nightmare Moon character?" He looked down at his hooves trying to think of what one to move first so to not tangle it up in the rest. He found that moving one front leg and the opposite rear one, then repeating the action felt surprisingly natural. Apprehension apparent, he carefully walked over to the door where Celestia still stood outside, presumably to lower the enchantment on the room she was keeping Joe in.

Celestia must have heard his question, for it was she whom answered. "That is a rather subjective topic. I do believe you will find some answers to those questions, and more, about this realm from the books in the room I'm providing you with."

Joseph began walking, flanked by Celestia on his left and the guard on his right. Through wide corridors they went and many corners they rounded, until the three of them came to a corridor that had doors opposite each other every five metres or so. They kept walking until they came to a stop about the third of the way down, stopping at a seemingly random door on the left. Celestia's horn glowed, and so did the door handle as it turned, the door itself opening inward.

Joseph entered the room first, followed by Celestia as the guard turned to, well, guard the door. She shut the door behind them and gestured to the room with a hoof. "This shall be your room for the time being," she said.

The room was quaint; a large bed base and mattress sat against the left-hand side of the wall, complete with sheets and dotted with pillows. At the far end of the room was a dual-shuttered window, complete with glass too. The right-hand side of the room contained two bookshelves set either side of a desk, the table portion of which was slanted forward slightly. The chair had no legs. It was comparable to a chair that royals on Earth would have used, one with a high back, except this one had no legs. The base of it sat freely against the stone floor.

At the back of the room on the left was a door-less entrance. Joseph walked over to it and peered through. It was a basic bathroom; an odd-looking—what could be a shower or bath—on the left, and a squat toilet comparable to the ones found in Asia at the end. He turned to look back at Celestia, whom was watching him explore his surroundings.

"Is it to your liking?" She asked, kindness evident in her voice.

Joseph looked down in disdain. "I'm not sure how I'm supposed to be feeling about this. As it stands, I was ripped from my home world; from the life I lived and loved. But at the same time, I was dying after having saved someone. I got a new life, but that much is bittersweet."

"In what way?"

"How are you supposed to live a life that is not your own? One where you're painted as the villain for crimes that you did not commit. By the sounds of things, this 'Nightmare Moon'... She's done some pretty abhorrent things. It would explain why that guard looked at me like I was going to gobble him up."

Celestia walked up to the disheartened mare and put a comforting wing over Joseph. "None of what happened was your fault, that much is true. But if you'll excuse me, I have duties to attend to. Feel free to entertain yourself, and you have access to the maids and chefs if you like. If I may be so bold as to say, I think it best if you not leave for the time being until I can get this mess sorted out."

Joseph heaved a sigh. "I understand. But how will I get the attention of the maids or chefs? I've no way to talk to them."

Celestia realized her mistake at that moment. "Normally I would say to use your magic..."

"Bullshit I have magic!" Joe interrupted, aghast.

Celestia returned his comment with an aghast look of her own. "F... Forgive me, I've not heard such language like that in a good long while..." Celestia cleared her throat audibly, and shook that word off her mind. "I will post a guard outside your door so you can call for him if you need anything or to have him fetch the maids to provide services for you or the chefs to cook." She punctuated the end with a smile, which made Joseph feel more welcomed.

Celestia left and spoke briefly to the guard outside before disappearing in a flash of light. Joseph went up to the door and cracked it open. "Excuse me, but what's your name?"

"Morning Glory," replied the guard.

Joseph needed to do a double take at that name, a small snicker lodging itself in his nasal cavity. "Pardon?"

"My name is Morning Glory, ma'am. I am with the Solar Guard of her Highness, Princess Celestia."

That... That just killed it. Joseph was ready to burst out into laughter, but when the guard added the rest of that schpiel, Joe found that the humour in his name dissipated rather quickly. "Do you have a nickname?"

"No ma'am."

'Damn. I half expected his buddies would've nicknamed him Woody or something.'

"Thank you, Morning Glory." Joseph closed the door behind him, and took another cursory look over the room. 'Books, writing, bed, and a shower. Not much to work with...'

Nightmare Moon's voice echoed around inside Joe's head. You could do to educate yourself on the citizens and the land while you've got nothing but time on your hooves.

'Bitch, I was a human, and we say hands' Nightmare only scoffed. 'Why don't you tell me your story while we're here, hmm?'

Go over to the bookshelf on the right. Look for a brown book with gold brackets holding the spine together.

Joseph did just that, scanning each of the dozen or so shelves for the aforementioned book. Eventually, second shelf up from the bottom, he found the spine of a brown book with gold brackets. 'This'll be a mission trying to get it off the shelf.' He began pawing at the top of the book's spine, trying to dislodge it from its place. Eventually he knocked it loose, but the book fell on its spine, rendering his current method for attempting to get the book out futile. Without a second thought, he opened his muzzle and bit the top of the book, pulling it out that way.

Finally victorious, he went over to the bed and lay the book down on the covers as he got on top of the bed too. Turning it over from its face-down position, he glanced at the title. A History of Equestria, emblazoned above a carving of a golden bust of a unicorn. He flipped open the cover, and began reading.

03| Adjusting

The book helped Joseph better understand the position he was in, in every sense of the word. He was riveted to the book for about two hours, doing nothing but reading during that time. He read that Nightmare Moon, the being he had become and resides within his mind, had attempted a coup against Princess Celestia after garnering the power from The Miasma. It took over Luna's body and used her as a tool against Celestia.

Celestia used the Elements of Harmony to seal Nightmare Moon away in the moon for a thousand years. 'Is that really how that happened?'

Joseph could hear Nightmare Moon say, even inside his mind.

That's one side of the story, yes.

'What's your side, then? The book has told me she grew dark, and became evil thanks to you.'

I merely gave Luna the means with which she could overthrow Celestia. I did not foresee The Elements. That factor alone cost Luna and myself a millennium's worth or torment on the moon. Not needing to eat, not needing to sleep. Have you any idea what that does to ones mind?

'Cabin fever?' Joseph replied rather cheekily.

...Yes.

There was a pregnant pause between the two's internal monologue.

Joseph broke the internal silence, although the silence in the room was beginning to bother him too. 'So what do we do now? We can't go anywhere, nor is there much to do outside or reading, and I can't write for shit with hooves.'

I need to teach you how to use magic—and before you say anything, yes, magic exists. You saw Celestia use it.

Joseph's incredulity refused to leave him whenever he heard about about, or saw, magic.

We will need to co-operate. Since my only means of survival lay with you, I will need to teach you to use magic.

'You're awfully eager to help me. What's in it for you?'

If two lives are tied together, would it not be in each others best interests if we help each other? I have in-depth working knowledge of this world. You, on the other hoof, do not.

Relenting, Joseph asks; 'So what comes first?'

Levitation, Nightmare Moon replied nonchalantly, as if it sounded second nature to her. It's relatively simple too. Since you are an alicorn, you possess an inordinate amount of magic. Focus your mind on an object. Any object. Picture it in your mind's eye and will it to move.

'I have no idea what that means...'

After an exhaustive sigh, Nightmare Moon continued. It was almost like she would've been pinching her brow in frustration if she had hands at this point.

Picture the book in your mind. Close your eyes and keep the image of the book present. Command it to move; imagine it floating.

Joseph did as he was told; closing his eyes before and after keeping the book pictured in his thoughts. He imagined the book floating in his mind's eye. He was trying to keep himself relaxed, his concentration beginning to waver.

Then Nightmare Moon said; Open your eyes.

Expecting the book to still be on the bed, he opened his eyes and looked down at the covers.

It wasn't there.

His gaze slowly climbed to the book; floating in a rippling magical aura. He stared at the levitating object for several seconds with morbid dumbfoundedness.

"I'm really doing it..." he said. His expression suddenly became concerned, although rather mildly. "How do I, erm, let it go?"

Do just that. Same in reverse; just let it go.

In a different manner than how Joseph pictured picking it up, instead imagined dropping the book as if he was holding it in his hands. The book landed with a dull, soft thud against the bed. An idea clicked in his head, one that he thought would better suit how he could use levitation. Instead of following Nightmare Moon's instruction on levitation, Joseph imagined physically picking up the book with his hands. He thought about scooping the book up off the bed with two hands, and, right before his eyes, the book lit up in a dark purple aura and slowly made its way to Joseph's eye level!

"Ha-hah!" He exclaimed excitedly, and rather loudly too.

A couple seconds passed before a knock came at the door. "Are you ok in there?"

'I must've startled the guard.' "Everything's fine! Sorry for startling you."

No reply came afterwards, which suggested the guard's—what could loosely be called concerns, had been abated. Joseph internally shrugged and turned back to the current task: the book. For the good part of two minutes or so, with a big grin plastered across his face, he repeated the actions of lifting and dropping the book to the direction he thought of; lifting and dropping the book with hands. Not too soon after that, a mildly unpleasant smell began to permeate his nose. It wasn't too noticeable, but with the lack of distractions Joseph's mind was picking up things to keep itself occupied.

'Hey, Moonie whe—'

Call me 'Moonie' one more time and I will end you... Nightmare Moon seethed.

A shit-eating grin appeared on Joseph's face. 'The death of me will also mean the death of you, you realize?' No reply. 'As I was saying, when was the last time you cleaned yourself? Or myself. Whatever. Shutup.'

Nigh a thousand years ago. Then again, this form was recreated. Since you woke up in a dusty old castle, it might be an idea to keep things in check for the time being.

Joseph thought it might be a good idea to try out the amenities, so he dropped the book back on the bed and sauntered over to the en-suite. The glass wall separating the shower portion from the rest of the bathroom had a rod at the centre point, and a handle closest to the entrance Joseph stood at. Through the barrier, he spied two concave, almost circular, metal-looking, what could be deemed knobs set into the wall.

Trying the method with the book on the door handle, he imagined a physical hand grasping the handle and pulling it open. Surprisingly, it slid open with the rod as its hinge. He walked into the stall, and closed the door behind him. The knobs, which had a red and blue circle in each of them presented a different problem to him now.

The recessed portions resembled the shape of hooves. "So I just... Put a hoof in there and turn?" Joseph didn't get an answer from Moonie, so he went ahead and did just that. He stuck his right hoof into the section with the red circle and turned it to the right sharply, and almost immediately uncomfortably hot water began pouring out of the shower head.

His hoof slipped out of the 'knob' as he was jumping all over the place trying to get out of the almost scalding water. Normally this temperature would have been rather pleasant on Earth had he acclimatised to the heat first. It was hurting; the heat seeping into his skin under the coat of fur covering his body. He quickly stuck his left hoof in the cold 'knob', and turned it half the direction of the hot one. Two seconds later the water cooled considerably, giving Joseph the time to rotate the colder knob to allow more hot water to pour over him.

Joseph relaxed, letting a smile creep on his face at the relaxing water. If anything, he felt more secure; almost like he was back in his own house, showering in his own shower. He just stood there and let the water cascade over himself, letting the faux sense of security wedge itself into his mind. He couldn't quite put a finger on it, but there was always something relaxing about showers, one that made him feel more at peace than anything else. Given the current circumstances, it did wonders for his morale.

Joseph just stood there for at least ten minutes, letting the offending odor get washed off. When it was time to get out, he put both hooves into the knobs, one at a time, and turned them off at the same time so he didn't get nailed with either hot or cold water as he turned the opposite off.

'Where are the towels kept?' Joseph asked internally, directing the question at Nightmare Moon.

Don't ask me, I was stuck in exile on the moon for a thousand years. Ask the guard to go fetch a maid and have her bring back some amenities too. If there's no towel, I suspect the staff haven't had the chance to restock them in this room.

Sopping wet and trailing water everywhere, Joseph gingerly trotted over to the door being careful not to make too much of a mess by trailing water all over the stone. He got to the door, and used his magic to open it slightly, keeping a hoof a few inches back against the door to keep it from opening too far.

"Morning?" Joseph asked.

"Yes, ma'am?" The guard replied indignantly.

"I've no towels in here. Could you please go and get a maid to bring back a few, and some amenities too?"

The guard looked back at Joseph and raised an eyebrow. "I don't know, could I?"

Joseph's brow furrowed at the guard's cheeky response. "Yes, you could do so. I might add that colloquial infrequencies occur frequently in any language, seeing is how I'm from a different world and such. Since we both know what I meant perfectly well, being particular about the distinction between synonymous words is pedantic and arguably pretentious. I shall say this again. Go and fetch a maid with provisions for the bathroom; it has not been properly stocked yet."

The guard seemed rather taken aback at Joseph's choice of words. Electing not to say anything, which was probably for the best, the guard cantered off down the longer corridor of the hall and rounded the corner.

You most certainly put him in his place. Commented Nightmare Moon.

That statement stuck with Joseph. Was he too harsh to the guard? Maybe he was just being unpleasant because guarding Joseph wasn't exactly something that was on his daily schedule, so being bitter was just one way of coping. 'Maybe he shouldn't have been so difficult...' He said internally, to no one in particular.

You weren't wrong to speak to him like that. You're right to say he was being difficult too. Ponies will fear you for your outward appearance. Treat them how they treat you.

That last thought lingered in Joseph's mind. He is essentially the living incarnation of something born of evil intent. Even though his mind is sound, he couldn't help but wonder if the Miasma's consciousness could taint his at any stage.

Ten minutes after the guard left, there came three abrupt knocks at the door. "The provisions you requested," came a rather sweet-sounding voice.

Joseph went over to the door and opened it, letting in the unicorn maid. She was carrying two towels, a bar of soap, and a bottle of something that he didn't immediately recognise. The maid levitated the items in Joe's direction, as if she expected him to take them.

"Uhm..." Joseph said with uncertainty.

"OH!" Exclaimed the maid. "You must want me to put these away and towel you off!" She rushed past the black alicorn and into the bathroom, putting the items down just inside the doorway and unfolding a towel, bringing it over to Joe and leaving the other one behind.

The maid dropped the towel over Joseph's new body, and he flinched away at the touch. "Woah now, I don't want you to dry me! I just wanted you to bring me a few things, I didn't expect you to wait on me hand and foot!"

The maid gave Joseph a peculiar look, most likely at the mention of 'hand'. "The maids are trained to provide some basic grooming services for some of the more higher profile ponies, Princess."

Being called princess really didn't sit right with Joe. It was almost like the school bully was calling him out on being effeminate. "What... What kind of services, exactly?"

The unicorn didn't look up to Joe, she kept her gaze down. He thought that was part of the training; not to look up at the more VIP guests. "Mane and coat grooming, largely. Since your mane is ethereal, a coat brushing would suffice after getting dried."

As odd as it sounded, Joseph actually liked the idea for some perturbed reason. "Pardon my apprehension..."

"Sunny days."

"...Sunny Days. I've not been, how shall I say, treated like that before. While the gesture isn't entirely unwelcome, it's apprehension that is apparent, nonetheless."

"The royals would often get a maid to comb their coats from time to time. It ensures they're kept well groomed. Prince Blueblood seems to have an affinity for getting groomed, now that I think about it..."

He didn't know whom 'Prince Blueblood' is, but, against his better judgement, he relented. "Fine, you may... Ugh, brush me." Joseph Stood stock still as the maid began to run the towel over him, fluffing up the fur covering his body. After much vigorous rubbing and an... uncomfortably close call in one area, the maid picked up a large hairbrush and began smoothing out Joseph's coat. It felt... nice. Almost like getting a light massage from a masseur.

About five minutes later the maid had finished combing his coat, and Joe turned his head around in both directions and looked at the much shinier fur. He turned back to the maid. "Thank you, Sunny."

"You're welcome, Princess," she said with a courteous bow.

Joseph's eyebrow twitched, and not in a good way. "Please don't call me that, it really doesn't sit right with me."

The unicorn became flustered before blurting out; "Yes, of course! I'm sorry ma'am."

"That's another thing," Joseph seethed. "You may not know who I am exactly, but I was a male before I came to exist on your world."

The color completely drained from Sunny's face. "I-, I..." she stammered. "I think I'll be going now!" After that, she dashed out of the room.

'Somehow I get the feeling I'm not going to like it here for an extended period of time.'

You're telling me. I spent a thousand years on the moon.

'Don't expect me to pity you; so did the individual whom you were possessing.'

...Point taken.

Joseph, all clean and groomed—much to the ironic nature of having somewhat enjoying it—sauntered over to the bed and got back on it, opening the book back up to where he left off. A few minutes later, during reading about the history prior to Nightmare Moon, another knock came from the door.

"Who is it?" Joseph called.

The door cracked open and Celestia poked her head through. "Pardon me for interrupting, but in light of your... appearance, I had to call a meeting with a few ponies and my sister. I explained to them–to the best of my ability–what transpired, and they all agreed that it would be best if they too judged your character for themselves instead of going off of my word alone."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"Would you rather them make decisions based off of ambiguity, or would you rather show up and dissuade any negative thoughts they might have?"

Joseph agreeably cocked his head. "Understood." He got off the bed, but not in the same comical manner as before. He slid his rear hooves off the end of the bed, and gracefully planted his front hooves on the ground, one after the other. He walked over to Celestia, who opened the door wider for him. Joseph gave a rather dry "thanks" in response, then followed the regal white ruler down the hall.

His mind wandered to the possible outcomes of of his outward appearance negatively influencing Celestia's officials decision. One wrong move could completely tip the scales in the opposite direction of how Joseph wanted them to tip. Having said that, he could give every reason under the sun as to why the officials should trust him, but that is a problem unto itself. In either case, he only had his word to prove himself at this point.

Proving himself would be rather difficult. Going into a room with creatures he'd never met before to decide whether or not he'd be a threat to the nation; one wrong move on his behalf or any antagonizing of any kind can make everything go down the drain very quickly. He elected to let Celestia do the talking for the most part, only chiming in when questions started to get directed at him.

The door they arrived at was rather large in comparison to Joseph's door. Taller and wider by twice as much as his door, the two hinged door swung open to reveal six ponies seated, three seated on one side of a table with the other three opposite. Two pegasi, two unicorns, and two earth ponies, and each sat across from their respective race so one earth, one unicorn, and one pegasus sat on one side.

All eyes turned to the black mare with the flowing ethereal mane.

"Those eyes..." One of the pegasi commented rather audibly, although he didn't expect it to be that loud.

Celestia cleared her throat both to draw attention to her so she had the attention of the six of them. "I've briefed you about the transpired events, and I've brought the mare—"

"I'm not a mare..." Joseph deadpanned.

Attention very quickly turned back to Joseph as one of the earth ponies said; “You're not a what now?"

"I may be feminine in body, but back in my world I was previously a male in his respective body."

Almost as if there was some kind of color-syringe, one by one the color drained out of each of their faces, most notably Celestia's.

"Forgive my erroneous assumptions, I just assumed—"

"That because I had lady bits I was a girl? Regardless, You brought me here for a reason. Pray tell, which reason was that?"

The collective stupor at Joseph's mistaken identity lingered in the air for several moments before one of the pegasi spoke.

"We were just concerned that you would enact the same deeds as Nightmare Moon did. I'm not sure how aware you are of Equestria's history over the last thousand years and up until that stage, but the reappearance of Nightmare Moon—to the general populace—would cause havoc, thinking they were going to suffer eternal darkness."

If Joseph had hands, he would be pinching his brow in frustration. Instead, he elected to do the next best thing: rub the area between the base of his horn between and above his eyebrows. "There seems to be some loose wires somewhere. I am not the same individual that would impose something like that. I am a man from another world trapped in this body."

"Yes, but you are—"

"I know who I am!" He barked. Everyone jumped in response to his outburst. 'Fucking great, just what I didn't want to happen...' He paused for a breath as everyone shifted uncomfortably. "It is my understanding that this, "Miasma", if that's what you call it, possessed the one called Luna after her descent into darkness. In the book I read while in the room, it was her desire to impose eternal night that factored into her becoming Nightmare Moon, of which I am not. We are not the same person; we are completely different in body and mind. It is extremely prejudicial and judgemental to think that someone you've never met will perform to such abhorrent expectations!" He finished his rant with an affirmative stomp of a hoof, earning shell shocked expressions from everyone in the room. Even Celestia looked at him rather dumbfounded.

Joseph continued, although more calmly, dissipating the silence. "People might not like the way I look, but you, Celestia, could make a public announcement or whatever to the effect explaining that 'Nightmare Moon' has returned or whatever."

She sighed defeatedly. "This is a delicate situation. Announcing that Nightmare Moon has returned would not bode well. It is likely the populace would panic en masse. But... I think you are right."

"Surely you're not saying..." One of the officials spoke up, trailing off.

"My sister will want to meet you beforehoof too, before this event takes place. You shall do so while I make preparations. It shouldn't take more than a couple hours at most."

Joseph nodded in agreement as he followed Celestia out of the door, leaving the officials to mutter against themselves about god knows what. He followed Celestia back to his room where she nodded to the door, wordlessly telling him to go inside. She then began walking back the way she came down the corridor, making an opposite turn from the one they had taken into the corridor.

Joseph knew she was going to get Luna, and he began to play out scenarios in his head as to what will happen.

From what he knew, Nightmare Moon was the embodiment of Luna's negative emotions that got the best of her, but brought to life courtesy of The Miasma. Another way of looking at it would be to imagine every mistake you made literally staring you in the face; in every sense of the word.

He began to grow increasingly nervous as these scenarios played out; minutes felt like hours because of his apprehension. Some time later, he heard a knock at the door.

"Who is it?" he called.

The door inched open and a soft voice came from the other side. "It is I, Luna. May I enter?"

Joseph simply replied; "Come in."

The gorgeous night-blue alicorn strode majestically into the room. Joseph could tell by the way she unintentionally presented herself up on entrance that she felt a considerable weight on her shoulders.

An uncomfortable silence permeated the room, both unsure of what to say.

Joseph decided to break the silence, although unsure of his words would put to ease any concerns the Princess would have. He spoke with a soft voice to hopefully keep her calm.

"You have to believe me when I say I'm not here to harm you or anyone else."

Luna only gave a curt nod in agreement. "I... know that much. It's just that every mistake I made..."

That statement confirmed Joseph's suspicions, and the silence imbued itself in the room again.

"How did you... get here?" Luna finally asked. "You are not of this planet, so where do you hail from?"

'Finally something else to talk about.' Josephs ears perked up as his demeanour lightened slightly. "I come from a planet called Earth. I am not entirely sure how, but it's got something to do with those 'Elements of Harmony' or whatever they're called."

"Yes, The Elements." Luna repeated. "The magic responsible of ridding me of The Miasma's influence. With the greatest of respect, I am sorry it has become your burden."

Joseph waved a dismissive hoof, grinning slightly. "I am not under the influence of anything. All you see is the body, but up here," Joseph said, tapping a hoof to his head. "I am still the human I once was."

Author's Note

Editing/proofreading done by Requiem17.

04| Plans

The conversation between Luna and Joseph had an air of tension throughout it. It was because Joseph was telling Luna of horses and ponies from his world, that they were used to pull carts and plough fields, not unlike what ponies here do of their own free will. Luna had a hard time believing that horses from Earth didn’t have the same level of sapience as the ones in Equestria. That said, Joseph had a hard time trying to find a suitable word to convey the comparison between the two species without sounding too insulting. He decided against words like ‘intelligence’ and ‘awareness’, because truth be told, he wasn’t aware of the level of intelligence of horses from Earth. Luna got the message, but the expression on Luna’s face told him that she understood, and continuing that specific conversation had the potential to leave a sour first impression.

With that out of the way, Joseph tried to lighten the mood a little by telling the Princess of the Night a few jokes from his world. He asked her if she knew what a boat was–just to clarify, and she explained that she knew what such vessels were, she herself had not been on one nor did she have use for one. That being said, Luna also explained that they were mostly used centuries ago as ponies migrated to Equestria from other lands, and for trade purposes and so forth.

Intrigued, she listened on.

“There was once a captain of a ship who lead the most fearless crew around. They fought off pirates, and more often than not made their journeys ahead of schedule due to the captains regime and way of doing things. However, he had a strange ritual. Every morning he would lock himself in his quarters, pull out a piece of paper in an envelope, and stare at it for a couple minutes before putting it back in the drawer. The crew all thought it was a letter from a long lost love that he would read to remember her by, at least that was the consensus.

“This continued for years on end until the day came where he eventually passed away. The crew members paid their respects at his funeral and began the next leg of their journey across the seas. The newly appointed captain gathered everyone in the cabin to see if their suspicions about the letter were indeed correct, as it plagued the thoughts of everyone there for a long time. He opened the drawer, pulled out the letter, and read it. Much to his dismay, there were only four words printed on the page, causing his face to drain of all colour as he shakily read the words. Port left. Starboard right.”

As it turned out, Earth humour wasn’t quite understood just yet. Joseph thought that since Luna knew of ships, she might have known terminology used by those involved with boats and the like.

That wasn’t the case.

Joseph had to explain that port was the left side of the boat, and starboard was the right. Essentially the captain was having to remind himself of the ins and outs of the ship in one way or another. The captain didn’t know what he was doing if he had to constantly remind himself.

Luna understood the joke after his explanation, but the humour involved was lost in translation.

A slight grin appeared on Luna’s face as she spoke up. “It is good that, despite your appearance, your demeanour speaks otherwise. It makes me feel at ease that you would attempt to make us laugh. I have no reason to think that you will relapse into what was my former self, although their presence in your mind is… troubling.”

It dawned on him that Joseph had yet to explain that particular situation.

“I’ve not told you about that yet, how did you come to know of it?”

“Celestia told me that their presence is, in a sense, somehow ‘awake’ in your mind.”

Joseph put a hoof to his chin. “I don’t know why exactly, but the idea is that I am keeping this body alive, just like this ‘Miasma’ is keeping me alive. It’s a term on Earth called ‘Symbiosis’, meaning two things cannot live without one another in some shape or form. In my case, or previously yours, The Miasma needs a host to survive. It convinced you to become that which I am in body so it could survive.”

“That makes sense, and why it chose me to begin with, given my weakened state of mind at the time.” Luna looked down, a sorrowful expression on her face.

Joseph noticed something was making the Lunar Princess become increasingly sad. “Something wrong?”

Luna shook her head, apparently clearing her thoughts as if whatever she was thinking about came and went. “I am fine, although my sister is planning to make the public address, but I am not sure that would be wise, given this is a recent matter and seeing certain things still around might be cause for panic.”

Luna went on to explain that Joseph should reconsider his suggestion of revealing himself, and opt for the more subtle approach of using a disguise for a time until things quietened down so the matter could be handled with more discretion. Given ponies had just come out of a period of about several hours of what was night when it was supposed to be day, any sudden appearances of Nightmare Moon were bound to be met with great displeasure.

Of course, when Celestia came back to the room to fetch Joseph and Luna, Luna had convinced Joseph to settle down and get used to the flow of things around Canterlot and in Equestria, and time to figure out his anatomy, magic, and so on. Celestia was rather bittersweet towards the idea, she seemed sure that showing Luna and Nightmare Moon side by side would show that Nightmare Moon are no longer together, that the latter wouldn’t be a problem.

Joseph explained that, even though he means well and has no intention of harming anyone or anything, that doesn’t mean the populace are going to share the same sentiment.

“The idea is this, Princess,” Joseph began. “Luna here offered to disguise me so I can go out and experience the city for a period. It would give me time to adjust and to figure things out in general. That would also give me time to talk to other people to see what their thoughts would be if Nightmare Moon were to walk into their place of business for such a purpose.”

Celestia snickered. “I can only imagine the reaction of patrons if you walked into a cafe or bar and nonchalantly asked for a drink. But I see your point, and I will allow it. I’ll refrain from the public address for the time being and let you two figure out plans. Meanwhile, I have business and matters related to this to sort out. Rest assured nopony outside those that you met when you awoke in the castle the other, myself, Luna, and a few of the guards and staff know about you yet. Feel free to stay another night and I’ll make arrangements.”

Celestia gave a warm smile and then left.

Joseph felt very at ease in his current state. Well, as at ease as one could be given he was a human in the body of a villainous pony. A villainous girl pony, that is. He couldn’t shake the thought of his new equipment, hoping he wouldn’t have to pay it too much attention.

Luna and Joseph went about discussing plans for him going out on his own, beginning with his disguise. Joe was reluctant to go with a stallion, but Luna had to make it clear that it’s just a disguise, that you’ll still have the feel of everything underneath.

Joe found it humorously unsettling that Luna winked at that, and Nightmare audibly groaned inside Joe’s head.

With the disguise business sorted, Luna left to take care of some royal duties, as it were, and assured Joe that she’d be back tomorrow morning with some other things for him, ready for the venture outside.

With the room returning to its dull, deafening silence, he pulled some more books off the shelf and levitated them over to his position on the bed, internally giggling to himself like an excited schoolgirl still.

Honestly, Nightmare said. That will lose its novelty pretty fast.”

’Not if I found different ways to apply it,’ he replied. ’Half the fun of getting something new is putting it to use in as many ways as you can think. I’m assuming you have growth and multiplication spells here?’

Yes but they’re rarely used for fear of making something grow too large or repetitively multiplying out of control, and well, the outcomes haven’t been pretty before.

’It’s called limits. If you have a loaf of bread and only a few vegetables, use your magic to either make them larger or multiply. You can feed a whole village that way. Know your limits and don’t go beyond.’

Nightmare seemed to ponder those words with the lack of reply, and looked over the covers of the new books. ’Fifty Shades of Hay’, Apple Bucking for Dummies, and another book called ’The Flight of the Alicorn’.

Intrigued, he set aside the other two books and opened the cover of this particular one and began reading.

______________________________________________________________________________

The next morning came a knock at the bedroom door. Receiving no answer, Luna nudged the door open and stuck her head in.

“Joseph?” she calls in a low tone. Luna then looked around the room, and saw him Hunkered down over a book.

Joseph looked up, revealing his blood-shot, wide-eyed expression accompanied by a mane that indicated to the Lunar goddess he had been up all night with that book. “This… book!” he rasped. He levitated the cover and shoves it in Luna’s face abruptly and exclaimed, “Have you read it!?”

The princess only replied with an awkward, “Uuhhh…”

“You must!” It’s just… so well written!” he beamed with the enthusiasm of a slightly obsessed fan.

Luna nudged the book away with a hoof and strode into the room while trying to suppress a smile at the unkempt and overexcited mare in front of her, closing the door behind her.

Joseph pulled the book back over to him, and began reading from where he had left off.

“I come bearing gifts.” said Luna.

“Is it another fan-fucking-tastic book like this? You dudes sure know how to write a good tale or two!”

Luna pulled herself back in surprise at Joseph’s choice of words, one inparticular she hadn’t caught wind of before.

“What does that word mean?” she asked.

Joseph slowly turned his head on a pivot to look at Luna with sheer incredulity. He snickered and said; “I’m not sure you want to know.” His gaze looked slightly to the left, noticing the floating package held in Luna’s aura. “You said you had something for me?”

Thankfully that gave Luna the nudge she needed to stop wondering about that weird word, arguably glad that line of the conversation didn’t get furthered.

“I have brought with me some money, and bags for you. Overnight, I managed to secure you a small residence downtown that was unoccupied.” She set the items down on the bed next to Joseph.

He picked them up and looked over the dual satchels with dual straps that would secure the bag to the back of its wearer, and one underneath so imbalance of any kind wouldn’t make the bags fall off. Noticing the clinking coming from one of the pouches, he opened the flap of both bags and upended them, and a cloth bag with a drawstring to keep the contents inside fell out with a more resounding clank.

Curiosity getting the better of him—but seeing how this was for him anyway—he pulled the string to open the small bag and peered inside.

The look in his eyes of having stayed up all night reading was replaced by one of utter bewilderment, the contents practically gleaming from within.

“GOLD!?!?” he shouted.

“That would be the currency we use…” Luna began before trailing off, not understanding why Joseph reacted the way he did.

“You use gold as money!?” The thought of having so much gold on his person was offset by the reminder that Greeks, Romans, and civilizations across history had used gold as currency. What he found odd about these is they were perfectly round, featureless coins. There was a rim surrounding each coin, recessed slightly in the middle for some reason.

From his history class in school, Joseph knew that the Greeks and Romans for example would heat lumps of silver, gold, and other precious metal and bang them into rough circles. Then, a person with a hammer with a recessed/mirrored design of what was to be printed on the coin would strike the hammer, imprinting the design onto the coin. The hammer was about 4-5 feet long because having hot metal splash onto you from hitting it was less than desirable.

“We mine it, then unicorns make coins out of it. Are you unfamiliar with this type of currency?”

“No no no, I know what gold is I just never seen such perfectly round coins like this.” He levitated one of the coins out to scrutinize it. “From the history of my planet, ancient civilizations would hand make coins with hammers, but that process would leave small tags of metal left on the coins, then people would shave tiny slivers off and resell them to make a good, but illegal living.”

Luna’s eyebrow raised at that, but she let it pass.

“Wait, did you say you got me a house!?”

Luna gave a brief nod. “You…” She began to speak but stalled herself, trying to find the right words. “We, My sister and I, don’t know if you’ll be able to get back home.” A solemn, uncomfortable silence permeated the room before Luna continued. “I see it only fitting that you be provided with a residence of your own for the duration of your say.” Luna punctuated that sentence with a warm smile, trying to put Joe at ease.

“You’re forgetting one thing, though. People gon’ flip shit when they see me like this.” He gestured with a hoof up and down his figure.

“Yes, I do have a disguise for you; an enchanted ring that you would put on your horn. The magic would make you into a unicorn, and magically bind your wings to your sides until you remove it. The ring uses a perception spell of sorts to make your figure feel as though it’s smaller than it actually is to those that might, say, bump into you. The only downside is it uses the colours of one’s coat, mane, and cutie mark to factor into the outward appearance.”

“How is that bad?”

“Ponies with rather darker colours are rare, but not entirely unheard of. If you’re lucky people might not notice, but expect stares until the populace gets used to you.”

“Wait, populace as in the whole entire city!?” Joseph said, aghast. “Am I supposed to parade around saying “Hey everybody, even though I have dark colours I am definitely NOT Nightmare Moon!”

Luna stifled a giggle with her hoof. “No, what I meant to say was those you come across and interact with on a daily basis. Now, about the house.” Luna magicked a map out of fucking nowhere, much to Joseph’s amazement, and unfurled it to reveal an outline of a section of the city and its buildings. She used a hoof to point to the top right section of the map.

“Your new house is in the northern district.” Her hoof trailed down a long path that went diagonally across the page and ended at the bottom left of the map. “And the castle is here.” You need only walk straight down the road until it ends, turn right, and your house will be number fifty-seven. It has letters on the door so you won’t get confused.”

“So there’s not going to be any fountains or roundabouts or intersections that would make me confused as to which path to take.”

Luna shook her head. “No, follow the road directly north until it ends. Turn right, and look for number fifty-seven with the numbers on the door. And now for your disguise.” The map was magicked away and a ring took its place.

The ring was unlike one made for a finger; the gold band had different coloured jewels inlaid into it. The inside of the ring tapered slightly, presumably to fit with the contours of horns.

“This isn’t going to hurt, is it?”

“Not in the slightest. Although you might feel an odd sensation wash over you, but that will be momentary.”

Joseph took the ring from Luna’s aura with his own, imagining plucking it out of another hand with his thumb and index finger, thus picking it up in his own aura. If this was how he levitated objects, how would these creatures that don’t know about hands levitate objects? Do they just simply imagine the objects floating? He shrugged it off and slid the ring over and down his horn.

To his expectation, a cold rippling chill, akin to someone having walked over your grave, washed over him. He audibly shuddered at the strange feeling. He looked back up at Luna, and from the same position he was in he felt a change in his depth perception.

Luna said the ring would use a perception spell to somehow make the physique of the wearer smaller, and that somehow affected Joe, too. He knew he wasn’t this small, but he felt a good head smaller than the princess.

“Would you like a mirror?” Luna asked.

Brushing off Luna’s question, Joe began looking up and down himself; extending his various appendages and looking them over. A heavy shade of blue had replaced the ink-black coat. He reached behind with a hoof and pulled his tail around, revealing a tail the same shade of purple as what could be loosely called the ink-stain that was on his ass. Luna did say the spell would use the existing colour palette to recolour his coat and whatnot. That said, his thighs were void of any picture.

“Don’t I get a picture on my butt? What happened to it anyway?” The ring also appeared to make his voice somewhat normal, instead of the eerily echo-y resonant sound of the villainess.

“It defeats the purpose of a disguise if one can be identified by the cutie mark. While grown ponies that don’t have cutie marks aren’t entirely unheard of, they’re few and far between. To be safe, I suggest making up a cover story to explain why you’re without one.”

Joseph did a double-take at Luna when she mentioned cutie marks. “I don’t even know what they are to begin with. I was never told that much. What do you expect me to say? ‘I’m a grown man that doesn’t have a cutie mark’?” After those words left his mouth, it struck him those words came across rather sarcastically, but that wasn’t his intention.

Luna chuckled for the Nth time that morning. “You also might want to choose your words carefully when referring to yourself. Some might not give it a second thought, but saying it often enough might lead to problems.”

By reflex, Joseph’s newly acquired ears flattened against the side of his head. Remembering his new form and what he had lost, Luna’s words were like a hot branding iron on his chest.

Luna realised the unintentional effect her words had when she saw Joseph look away, saddened.

“I… Apologize if what I said offended, but I was just—”

“No no, it’s fine,” Joe interrupted. “I knew what you mean, but I’ve been here for all of a day or two, so things about what happened are going to be rather sore and sensitive. Now that I have everything you intended to give me—”

And then some, snarked Nightmare Moon, referring to Luna’s previous comment.

’Shut it.’

“—what happens now?”

Luna opened the bedroom door. “Now you get to explore Canterlot. Just try not to get lost. Allow me to show you to the main door, you should be able to take things into your own hooves from there in getting to your house.”

Joseph groaned and rolled his eyes. “I’m never going to get used to the whole hands/hooves thing.” With his new bags, money, and disguise, Joseph begrudgingly left the warm bed and walked out the door, followed by Luna. He hung a right and began walking down the door before he heard Luna call out from a distance.

“Wrong way!”

He felt silly for not following her to begin with, given he should have followed her, not knowing his way around.

Bags on his back, Joe followed the alicorn through the veritable maze of corridors and passages that made up the castle. Had he not had Luna to guide him, and had she not noticed he wasn’t walking with her, he’d’ve surely gotten lost in this labyrinthe.

Eventually the duo exited through a door into a rather large foyer that had a rather large staircase that flared out at the base but narrowed towards the top, but not by much. An elaborate chandelier hung in the middle of the room, ornately decorated with what appeared to be gold, and the chandelier itself had dozens upon dozens of candles in fixtures. Joseph hadn’t seen any instances of electricity in the castle, or anywhere else yet for that matter, so he figured that these bizarre equine creatures used magic to replace the function and practicality of electricity.

Luna and Joe stopped before the door, and Luna enveloped it in her aura, pushing it outwards to let the sunshine through, giving Joseph a look outside.

Beyond the castle grounds themself, aside the main street that went north that Luna pointed out, the rest of the town looked like something from Europe. Buildings and houses close together with a few narrow alleys here and there. There were bigger streets that branched off of the main road, and it looked like they held most of the businesses. The buildings themselves were clustered together on blocks with the alleys as convenient shortcuts between some of the bigger streets.

“Do you feel secure enough to take things into your own hooves from here on out, Joseph?”

He looked back and up to the princess. “So… What happens now, exactly?”

“You have another chance to live what was cruelly taken from you,” Luna said stoically, a sense of pride in what she spoke.

’Poetic justice, how quaint,’ Joseph thought to himself. Luna was right, he had been given a new opportunity to live another life, but that was part of the problem too. It wasn’t his life. He figured he should get the most out of today and see how it went, so he bid farewell to the princess.

Just before he left, Luna explained that she would visit him in his dreams, as was part of her special talent. It wasn’t just limited to raising the moon, but inclusive of guarding the populace from the denizens of the night, both in dream and in the real world. Luna explained that when she’s in the ‘Dreamscape’, as she called it, it’s like walking down a corridor with doors, only the doors are portals to dreams. Each dream portal gives off a different colour depending on the dream. Soft pink for the more… erotic dreams, black for nightmares, green for happy dreams, and so on like that. The concept seemed simple enough, but the main concern is whether or not Luna would be able to find Joseph’s dream portal, given he’s not of this world.

Both agreed that they’d wait to see what would happen, if anything would happen, so Joe finally departed the castle grounds and began walking down the main road from the castle.

Left to his own devices and thoughts, well, mostly considering the parasite living in his mind, he wandered down the street glancing at all the passing stores. The signs were rather simplistic, reminding him of the wooden signs that hung from poles that jutted out from the front of a store which had a sign hanging from it indicating—for the most part—what the store sold.

He saw a sign with a mixture of cakes, muffins, and pastries, another with three apples on it, a sofa, then another with a bottle of ink and feather quill.

’These guys don’t appear to have heard of a pencil or pen,’ he thought to himself. Inadvertently, little miss parasite heard him.

While I’ve not heard of either of those items, our civilization uses ink and quill.

’Kinda archaic, but things look like they could do with a touch of artificiality.’

Getting no reply, Joseph continued on down the street, passing innumerable stores on the way. While walking towards a fountain that acted as an intersection of sorts between two streets, each bisecting the other. What drew his attention was a lone stallion with a cart full of apples, hollering at passersby if they’d care to buy a bunch of apples. Curiosity got the better of Joe, so he went up to the cart.

“Hello there ma’am! Care to buy a sack of the most delicious apples you’ll ever eat?”

Joseph looked over the cart, seeing the slanted table typical of vendors like this. The cart itself looked bigger than just the display table, as if the rest of the boxy construction held more apples than what was shown. He also noticed neatly folded and stacked sacks behind the vendor, presumably for the apples.

“What kind of apples are we talking about?”

“Red Delicious!” beamed the vendor. “This variety has softer skin and juicier flesh, making them great for the older folk whom have a hard time chewing, and those that generally like softer flesh fruits.” The vendors gaze turned to Joe’s flank. “Pardon me, but you’re a grown mare, why don’t you have a cutie mark?”

A shit-eating grin came across Joseph’s face, deciding he could have some fun with this guy. “Why are you looking at my ass?” he said with seriousness.

The unicorn stallion froze, almost choking on his words. “P-pardon!? I meant no offense, miss...”

’I’m never going to get used to feminine pronouns,’ Joe thought.

“...but I was just making an observation! It’s not uncommon for mares and stallions to converse over one anothers cutie marks!”

The vendor was getting flustered, much to Joseph’s amusement. “It seems to me that it’s rather perverse thing to do in the presence of a mare.” He cringed at that last word. ’Yeah, never getting used to that.’

“L-Look,” stammered the merchant. “I can give you a discount if that makes you feel better!”

Joe perked up. “In that case, how much do I owe you?”

The look of disbelief at Joseph’s transition from accusatory to chipper demeanour found its way across the merchant’s face. “E-eight bits, miss…?”

Joseph forgot to figure out a name! Dark coat and mane, reincarnation of a villainess whom tried to take over with eternal night by obscuring the sun...’

“Eclipse,” Joe stated.

“Here, Eclipse, eight bits and for a sack of delicious apples this side of Equestria!”

Joe floated out the small bag of coins and counted out eight, floating them into the pouch that hung at the side of the merchant, levitating the sack of apples and splitting the apples between the two saddle-bags so the weight wouldn’t pull on the bags, making them uncomfortable while walking, keeping one apple out to eat.

“Oh, by the way, do you know of any cafe’s around here? I’m new to town and don’t really know the locals too well.” He punctuated that sentence with a sly wink.

“I just sold you apples at a discount, why do you want to eat at a cafe?”

“Like I said, I’m new. People who frequent cafe’s are more likely to know the lay of the land.”

“Uhhh, three blocks down then hang a left. Wait, did you say people?”

’Oh, shit!’ “And with that, I bid you adieu good sir.” Joseph turned tail with the apple floating in his aura, and took a bite out of it, leaving a thoroughly confused merchant and his apple cart behind as he went around the fountain and continued to follow the street north.

Nightmare Moon’s voice echoed through his head. Keep slipping up and acting the way you are, and you’ll get found out.

He shrugged that off, figuring it’s just nerves getting to him from being in this strange land. ’Do you know your way around town?’

Nightmare Moon scoffed. In retrospect, I possessed Luna for all of twenty minutes before Celestia banished Luna and I to the moon after our battle. Upon my return, I had free reign for all of five hours before the Elements stripped me away from Luna. Next thing I know, I wake up a prisoner in my own body, being piloted by you. The inbetween was spent in total isolation on a floating rock.

’Sucks to be you,’ Joseph chuckled.

I can assure you the feeling is mutual, came the reply.

Joseph walked down the street the three blocks the vendor said to travel until he came to an intersection. He turned left as directed, and continued walking until he came to a crossroads that had four businesses on the corners, busily catering to its patrons.

On one corner sat half a dozen tables and chairs, presumably the cafe that he wanted. His gaze turned and anchored on the second sight to his right, opposite the cafe.

The building had its four large doors that doubled as windows wide open, allowing the cool breeze to dissipate some of the ambient mid-morning heat. Inside, a counter stretched the length of the floor with seats spanning the length of the counter, save a small cut-out where ponies could walk in and out. The thing that delighted him was seeing the dozens of bottles behind the counter, all different colours, shapes, and there were even what appeared to be beer taps!

’Oh fuck yes, a BAR!’ With a grin that stretched from ear to ear, he jovially walked inside and up to one of the individuals behind the bar.

“Hey there ma’am,” said the barstallion. “What can I getcha?”

“Waddaya got?”

The stallion seemed pleasantly taken aback by the response.

“We got cider mostly, made from apples all over the land,” he said, running a hoof over the myriad of taps and nozzles. “All the way from Appleoosa, Neighvarro, and Fillydelphia, with some of the better cider made by hoof from Sweet Apple Acres! Then there’s the harder stuff in the bottles. Granny Smith’s Apple Moonshine of varying strengths. One shot from most will put you on your flank.”

As good as the stronger stuff sounded, Joe opted for one of the weaker strength liqueurs and a cider chaser. After paying the ludicrous price of fourteen bits; six for the mug of Neighvarro and eight for the shot, he knocked the shot, much to the bartenders amazement, and took a generous swig of cider to wash the bitter taste of the liquor away. The liquor tasted almost exactly like white rum; sweet, tangy, with the tangy taste of green apples.

“Say, what’s the harder stuff made out of?”

“Green apples mostly. They’re often too bitter to eat by themselves, but they make for some amazing hard liquor. The juicier apples like those Red Delicious in your saddle bags make for some sweeter and more flavourable cider.” An air of realization came over the stallion. “Say, you’re not from around here, are you? Most ponies already know this. Where are you from? Can’t say I’ve seen you around here, and I would recognise those coat and mane colours if you had been here before.”

“I just got here, actually,” Joseph said, taking another mouthful of the now half-empty mug.

“Where’re you from, Manehattan?”

’Oh dear god, more bad puns...’ Joseph groaned inwardly at that name. “Sure, Manehattan. Nice place. It was nice to grow up in the city.” Not half a second after that sentence left his mouth, his gut dropped. ’Oh shit, I was thinking of the city I grew up in back on Earth! I don’t even know if this place has any cities like where I’m from! Moonie?’

No reply.

“Yeah, the city is pretty good, but I prefer the country to a certain extent. I can take a train ride to Ponyville any time I want, and Canterlot is a good balance in my opinion.”

’Oh thank god he didn’t notice…’

“So why don’t you have your cutie mark yet?”

Joseph rolled his eyes. “Why do stallions keep staring at my ass.”

The bartender just humourously chuckled at the comment. “Ma’am, it’s nothing personal by any means. A cutie mark denotes the special talent of the individual. As you can see, mine is a martini glass.” He raised his rear up high enough to show Joseph the picture adorning his thigh. “I got it when I discovered that my calling was serving people drinks, and mixing them too.”

“Ookay…? I guess I haven’t found what I’m good at just yet. I used to work in an office before I-” Joe had to stop talking for a second before he accidentally let slip that he was stabbed. He cleared his throat as a guise before speaking. “Sorry, before I decided a change in scenery would help.”

He polished off the rest of his cider to quell the anxious feeling from having almost slipped up, and bought another one.

“This stuff is great, by the way!”

“Glad you think so, miss…?”

“Eclipse.”

“Glad you think so, Eclipse, I aim to make my patrons happy.”

Joseph began drinking the second mug with gusto before the barstallion spoke up.

“Woah there, with the hard stuff and the other mug in you, you might not be able to walk straight soon.”

“What are you… Woah…” Turns out the stallion was right. After putting the mug down on the counter to hear him talk, the delightful hazy euphoria washed over him. Getting drunk back on Earth wasn’t exactly Joe’s thing, he’d keep within his limits so to not turn into that person. Usually four beers or four doubles would do the trick, and he’d cut himself off after six so he didn’t wake up with a hangover the following morning.

Currently Joe felt like he chugged all six beers at once the way he felt the liquor hit his system.

The bartender just smirked. “Told ya.”

An idea popped into Joe’s head, but he wasn’t sure of whether or not it was one of those questions that would be better left unsaid or not. Oh well, only one way to find out.

“Hey, mr barschtallion,” he slurred, his tongue not keeping up with the thought process causing him to trip over his own words. “What would you do if that Mightnare Moon walked in here and wanted a drink?”

The question didn’t quite catch him off guard, as much as his reaction to it indicated it wasn’t something he got asked very often, and seemed rather intrigued by.

“Interesting question. Well since she got dealt with the other day after she returned, if she were still around I’d probably buy her one on the house.”

A voice called out from the other side of the bar.

“Hey, why does that twat get a free drink but I have to pay for mine!?”

“Because you’re always trying to get free drinks, Crimson,” the bartender screeched back, making Joseph wince slightly at the volume. “That, or you’re buying them for random mares trying to take them home! Besides, she’s technically royalty, and first drink to royalty is generally on the house. So keep your muzzle shut, and I’m keeping an eye on this one too.”

“Stupid bitch should stay on the moon, plenty that would agree…” He went back to sullenly drinking his cider.

Ignoring the comment, Joe turned his head back to look at the bartender. “What was that all about?”

The stallion looked over at Crimson with an air of caution. “He goes around a lot of bars trying to pick up mares. Just watch yourself around him and you’ll be fine.”

That ‘Crimson’ is right, Nightmare Moon said. Many a pony would be quick to riot if they found out who you are.

“Oh shyaddup,” Joseph said aloud before realising he should have said that to Nightmare and not to the stallion serving him drinks.

“Woah there missy, I was just trying to look out for you!”

“Uh, sorry, I was just… Talking to myself.”

“...Yourself?” The bartender asked, confused.

“It’s complicated. Anyway, I needed to buy some food for my new house. Know of any shops around here?”

“Go back out the door and take the street left from the one you came up, alternatively just go out the door and follow the street left of the cafe across the road. You’ve had more than you should, are you alright to walk home?”

“I’m not as think as you drunk I am,” Joe snapped. “Wait…”

The stallion just giggled. “If you say so. Just be sure to drink plenty of water when you get home so you don’t get hungover.”

Joe polished off the last of the mug of cider, slamming it down on the counter following a thoroughly satisfied “AAHHHH!” He got down off the stool and left through the front door.

His vision wasn’t swimming as if he’d had a dozen drinks, but he’d had enough to drink for the booze to impair his thoughts and judgement, explaining why he kept tripping over his words. Before he left the door however, he heard the bartender tell the stallion that piped up; “You stay right there.” That followed an annoyed sigh from the pegasus, but he couldn’t figure out why.

Joseph managed to find his way to the store just fine, and the liquor hadn’t affected him as much as he thought it had, at least in the walking aspect. Talking to the people here should be interesting, though. However, it dawned on him that he had deviated from going to the house to the point where his inebriation caused him to lose track of where he was.

The store wasn’t unlike one from Earth. Baskets of vegetables and fruits sat out the front, flanked either side of the main entrance. The price boards is what struck Joseph as odd. The carrot bin had a picture of two carrots, an equals sign, then three yellow circles, presumably the price. If that’s the case, two carrots cost three bits, five tomatoes cost, four bits, then the apples and oranges cost two bits for three each.

He went into the store, but didn’t get his two front hooves inside before getting accosted by someone.

“Hello!” beamed a cheerful voice. “I’m Daisy, are you after anything in particular today?” Her nostrils flared as if inhaling something, but Joe just shrugged it off.

Because of how tipsy he was, it took him longer than he’d have liked for those words to completely register in his head, and to formulate a response.

“I’m… new here. Moving in today and I need some food.” Joseph’s subconscious was screaming at him to get some delicious bacon.

“Well you’ve come to the right place, nothing but the freshest fruit and vegetables this side of Canterlot!”

Something inside Joseph snapped at hearing ‘nothing but fruit and vegetables’. No more bacon and eggs, no more BLT’s!

“HOW CAN YOU NOT HAVE BACON!?!?” he screamed, inadvertently discovering the power his voice inherited from Luna or Nightmare Moon. After that outburst, the whole store went quiet enough that he was pretty sure he heard something rustle a few aisles over.

“Pardon me, miss, but we don’t have, what was it? Bacon? We do have plenty of dairy however, milk, cheese, eggs, and fish too. Earth ponies and pegasi usually have fish because it has nutrients that plant based foods can’t provide.”

He sighed and pinched his brow with a hoof, then immediately wondered how he did that. “I’ll take half a dozen eggs, some fish, cheese, and some milk in that case. While you get that—I have no idea where you keep it—I’ll get some… vegetables.”

Joseph picked up one of the baskets and began loading foodstuffs into it. Lettuce, tomatoes, carrots, cucumber, and enough fruits and veggies for about a week or so. He also picked up a loaf of bread, salt and pepper, and a few other condiments he recognised.

With the basket loaded with a healthy amount of food—in every sense of the word, he put the basket on the checkout next to the other things he asked the mare for. The fish wrapped up in plastic then paper, held together with tape so it wouldn’t unravel, a bottle of what looked to be two litres of milk, and the familiar carton of a dozen eggs.

“Carrots… Lettuce…” Daisy went about adding everything up with a paper and quill, doing a few of the number calculations in her head. “Ok, everything comes to forty-five bits!”

“You’re kidding!? I paid just under half that for a few drinks at a bar down the street!”

She snickered. “I know, I could smell the cider on you when you walked in.”

Joe rolled his eyes. He shouldn’t have been surprised, liquor prices were always expensive on Earth. A box of beer would cost $20 for a dozen bottles, but a bar would charge $6 a bottle. In retrospect, one would go to a bar to meet other people and have a good time with friends, so the extra price is paying for the hospitality the bar provides while you’re there.

He fished out the bit bag from his bags, and counted out forty-five bits and gave them to Daisy.

“You’ll need a separate bag to carry the bread and eggs home, they’ll get crushed with everything else in the saddle bags.”

Daisy went about putting the fruits and veggies into two paper bags, with the bread and eggs in a separate bag.

Joe opened the flaps of his bags and managed to comfortably put the foodstuffs on top of the apples without bruising them, leaving just enough space on the buckle to close the flaps so nothing would fall out. He held the third bag in his aura.

“Have a good day!” Daisy beamed. “Good luck with your new house and everything!”

By now, the worst of the liquor had worn off, which meant that Joe wasn’t tripping over his words and tongue. However, his body’s processing of the alien alcoholic beverage meant that the hazy euphoria remained, still inhibiting his judgement and motor skills to an extent.

Upon exiting the store, his mind lost the directions Luna had given him to get to his house. Did he take a right from the main road? Or was it a left… Directions always get confusing when trying to remember them in reverse. Worst of all, he found he needed the toilet.

Unsure of his current geographical location, he consulted Nightmare.

’Oi, where do I go? I need to pee! Stupid booze and it’s diuretic effects...’

Go straight ahead from whence you came, turn right, follow the street then turn right again, then turn left at the end of the street. You’ll be back on the main road at that point. You’re lucky alcohol doesn’t affect me you incompetent fool.

’Hey, I’m not incontinent! At least I won’t be unless I get home. Wait…” He shrugged off the misheard word, and, with eyes peeled and thinking harder than he should have, he followed Nightmare’s directions back to the main road he strayed from.

Back on track, he followed the road as per Luna’s original instructions to the end of the street, then turned in the correct direction to find the house Luna graciously procured for him. To his surprise, the housing reminded him of treeace-style housing from Earth.

Probably to save space, the houses—arguably flats—were basically fused together at the wall, allowing no space to walk between, to form one continuous row of houses.

He walked along the street, perusing the house numbers.

“Thirty-eight, forty, forty-two,” right up to, “fifty-four, fifty-six, fifty-eight… Hey, where’s fifty-seven?”

Other side of the street. These are even numbers.

’...Shut up, I’m drunk.’

Joseph went up to the front door, but stopped dead in utter confusion when he saw the door handle, and something amiss. He stared at it for a good minute, trying to figure out why it didn’t have a lock on it. The door still had a handle, presumably for earth ponies and pegasi.

“How do I…”

Magic is literally the key, you oaf. Doors won’t open unless the sensor gem inside the handle itself recognises the magical signature of the owner.

’What about public places?’

Those places don’t have sensors. It’s mostly for security where it’s needed. The castle where you woke up was experimenting with the implementation of these works of artificiality before Luna and I were banished.

Joseph pondered the more practical aspect of security. Locks can be picked, electronics can be hacked and overridden, so a device that recognises the energy signature unique to that particular individual would have massive benefits to locks from Earth. He enveloped the handle with his aura, whereupon the aura itself visually got sucked into the handle, presumably to get sampled.

“Uuhhhh… Did the door eat my magic?”

Try it again.

For the second time, Joe mentally pictured a hand on the door handle, pushing down on it. His aura, in turn, enveloped the handle and the door opened with a click.

’What about those normal and feathered bastards? They don’t have magic like I do.’

Yes and no. Earth ponies and pegasi do have magic, it’s what gives them strength and flight respectively, but they don’t have magic to the extent to manipulate objects like unicorns can.

He nudged the door open and walked inside. It looked rather bare; the hallway had nothing indicative of anyone living here; picture frames on the walls, umbrella stand by the door, hat/coat stand too. Off to the right, the hall gave way to a kitchen with a round table sitting in the middle of it. The counter itself spanned the length of the wall, had a sink, oven, and cupboards top and bottom.

“Bathroom!” Joe exclaimed in realization. He ran down to the end of the hall, throwing open every door he could find until he found the glistening white porcelain… bowl?

It didn’t look like the conventional toilet from Earth. Well, it did, but more reminiscent of the squat variety from Asia, recessed into the floor. It was wider than the Asiatic kind, but other than that it was a normal squat toilet.

Joseph looked at it in disbelief and screamed, “OH COME ON!”

Just sit on it you fool.

Joseph really didn’t have much of a choice at this point, so he stumbled over to the foreign toilet and sat down on it, letting his muscles relax to do their job. He let out the typical sign of relief before standing back up and walking out the bathroom door, relaxed, but still quite drunk.

“I need a drink…”

But you already—

“Don’t even start with me or I’ll think dirty thoughts that you’ll be forced to see,” Joseph said, cutting off Nightmare Moon’s possible snide remark to his intoxication.

He made his way back to the kitchen and had to rifle through the cupboards to find a drinking glass, and when he did he turned on the tap and had several glasses full of water.

“Now, I need ta sleep the rest of this off.” ’Luna said she’d visit me in my dreams, but I don’t see how that would work.’

I was once bonded with Luna, I gave her the power she needed to overthrow Celestia, but Celestia turned to the Elements. Point is we are on equal grounds with Luna in terms of magic since you and she are the same entity in different bodies. You will be able to perform the same spells she does to the fullest extent when you learn how to, Nightmare Moon told Joe, whom was already climbing the stairs to find a bed.

’Why are you telling me this?’ He yawned as he said that, pushing open a door and finding what appeared to be a delightfully plush bed.

Because sooner or later Joseph, there will come a time you will need to use the powers you possess.

Author's Note

This took far longer than I intended it to. Sorry fellers, I hope the next one won't take as long.

Editing done by Requiem17

05| Dreams

It was a weird feeling, an indescribable sensation that would best be comparable to someone being unsure if they were awake or asleep. Imagine being awake, but this feeling would instill an overwhelming sense of doubt in your mind that you weren’t sure whether you were awake or still sleeping.

Joseph could only feel his eyes opening, but something felt wrong, like he couldn’t control what he was doing. He could feel his influence asserting itself, but something kept holding him back, almost like there was a barrier keeping him from doing as he pleased. Something needed to give if he wanted to regain control. Even though he had no motor control, Joseph was still able to see and feel and hear through the eyes and ears of whomever he was possessing.

He was standing behind something, what looked like to be one of those over-sized backdrops to a chair of some description. He could suddenly feel himself walking, but not of his own volition. He rounded the corner from whatever he was standing behind, coming to a stop as his voice spoke, thickly archaic in accent but speaking relatively modern English.

“Not another step,” the voice said. He could feel his lips moving, but it wasn’t him speaking. The eyes glanced at an alabaster figure walking slowly towards him, purpose and challenge written across her face. From the peripheral vision, he could see a rather small staircase leading down to the floor, and there was a small bridge of sorts off to the left. He could feel his hosts eyes narrow with anger and rage as the voice spoke again.

“Did you really expect me to sit idly by while they all basked in your precious light?”

He felt movement again, and this time he found himself walking to stand on the small bridge connecting two platforms. Why there was such a small and trivial decoration adorning two small masses was beyond him. Standing with an overly assertive, aggressive stance looking head-on to the regal white mare still walking towards him in a confrontational manner, he spoke again.

“There can only be one Princess in Equestria! And that Princess,” he felt himself bursting through that final barrier keeping him from the control of his body, front legs raising high above his head then slamming down on the guardrail that spanned the small bridge, shattering it into oblivion. “, will be ME!!!”

Shadows leaked out from underneath, pooling and growing all around his feet as he felt their presence snake their way back up his legs. He felt them run up the wall behind him too, cracking it and the window above his head. Stone and glass burst inwards like someone threw a ball through a window, the stone and glass bouncing off him and landing at his feet.

An enormous amount of power surged throughout his body, wings spreading as he felt himself take control of his host. Raising his front legs, he hovered in the air as his magic began to raise the celestial body that roamed across the night sky. Ethereal beams of dark, black energy radiated outward as it covered the sun, their power getting bestowed upon him like an unnatural gift. He felt several beams hit his body, more shadows spreading like thick black oil over him. With each passing moment, his influence grew stronger and stronger over the host.

The shadows coalesced into a ball, swirling around him as he floated mid-air, magical energy permeating every pore of his body, feeling the same essence push the host’s conscious mind to the back of its own mind. With the transformation completed, the shadows dissipated and he felt himself gain full control.

“Ahahaha, ahahahaha, AHAHAHAHAHAA!!!” he cackled villainously, each breath bringing more insidious volume.

He could feel a massive buildup of energy in the top of his head, and he let it loose skyward. The electric-blue beam connected with the ceiling of the room he was in, and he dragged the beam in an arc across the ceiling. Chunks of stone weighing tons fell, peppering the floor with dull, thunderous thuds. With a flap of his wings, he jumped down off the bridge and began walking through the cloud of dust kicked up by the magic partially vaporising the rock and puffing up from hitting the ground.

He stepped forward with determined purpose and broke through the dust-cloud to stand before the figure that looked at him piteously. She took flight to avoid a falling hunk of stone, and he saw the opportunity to release another bolt of energy. He missed his target, hitting the roof again but this time opening a gaping hole on the roof from which the moon shone through. He could feel the raw power gained from the moonlight emanating throughout his body. Joseph felt almost unstoppable.

Celestia landed on the floor, folding her wings after having narrowly avoided the bolt of energy. They stared at each other before Celestia broke the silence.

“Luna, I will not fight you! You must lower the moon, it is your duty!”

“Luna?” he replied humourously. Huffing a small chuckle, he replied: “I am... Nightmare Moon! I have but one royal duty now; to destroy you!!!”

His legs widened in stance to hold more ground as he shot another beam at Celestia’s footing. She took flight again, the beam hitting the floor beneath her and burrowed underneath as it created a crater, chunks of the floor flying outward. His gaze turned upward as his opponent escaped out of the hole through which the moon was shining.

“And where do you think you’re going?” he stated condescendingly. His wings unfurled as his legs bent under him, jumping and flapping the feathery appendages to carry him higher and higher. Celestia paused mid-flight, silhouetting herself against the moon as he fired beam after beam at her.

Celestia ducked and dived, avoiding every shot. Each discharge of magic hit something else; a wall, a sculpture, a tower, and whatever else got in his way. Through a display of combat aerobatics, he closed the distance of his target, weaving through each destroyed monument as it threatened to hit him as it fell. His prey found itself in a wide open area.

Noticing the wide arc in which Celestia was travelling, he timed his shot just right so his beam connected with her torso at just the right moment. He heard a satisfying shriek, a pained wail as his target fell out of the sky and fell through one of the dozens of holes created in the roof they flew out of.

He threw his head back in victory, cackling to himself at his accomplishment. He flew a brief lap around the castle to survey the damage done before something caught his eye. A ball of pulsing white and polychromatic light rose from the building with Celestia in the middle of it as she stared him down.

He summoned all the power he could gather from the moon, the dark forces permeating right to the core of his host, his eyes radiating a pure white light from the sheer amount of energy as he readied himself for his strongest attack yet. Celestia and himself fired their respective beams at the same time. Joseph could feel his attack momentarily gain ground on Celestia’s, but in a panic he felt his magic falter. Worry overtook being drunk with magic and power as the multi-coloured beam inched closer and closer.

”NNNNnnnooooooooo!!!!”, he screamed as Celestia’s magic connected with the horn atop his head. He could feel his body de-materialize and rocket skyward. The last sensation he felt was almost like getting flattened by a steamroller as his vision locked in place, cursed to stare down at the blue and green orb with a black canvas dotted by pinpricks of white light as its backdrop.

____________________________________________________________________________________________

Joseph sat bolt upright in bed, breathing heavily. He fell back onto his bed with a soft thunk, arms splayed out to the sides as they hung off the edges of the bed.

“Fuck, I was actually scared I wasn’t dreaming there for a second.”

He took a moment to flick the crusty crap from the corners of his eyes and glanced over to his nightstand to look at the time. Eight-thirty in the morning on Friday.

Being a Friday meant he had a later start at work, giving himself enough time to fix himself a proper breakfast instead of the thrice-a-week, grab-and-go at the diner down the road from his apartment and finish off the papers he brought home last night. Joseph lived in a more rural part of the city. The outlying suburbs let its residents get away from the hustle and bustle of the much noisier city, and starting work at eight-thirty meant Joseph had to get up earlier than normal to ready himself, then drive to work. He usually only had enough time to get up, shower, have a coffee that was being brewed while he showered, put on fresh clothes, and hop out the door with his bag and coffee in hand, speeding towards the city after he stopped off to get breakfast at the aforementioned diner.

He put his slice of bread in the toaster wells and plunged the lever and went to the fridge to pull out two eggs, a jar of chunky tomato relish, and some streaky bacon. Bacon and poached eggs on toast with relish was divine, it gave him the mental and physical energy he needed to do his best at work. If he had gotten his usual from the diner, he’d normally be scratching his head for those extra few minutes trying to figure out the problem from lack of proper nutrition because of the greasy diner food.

Joseph got out his foodstuffs and closed the fridge. Out of the corner of his eye, he swore he saw the ethereal tail from the Nightmare Moon that was in his dreams pull itself out of sight from the door frame.

He shook it out of his head. “Probably hallucinating from the dream,” he said aloud to reassure himself.

He pulled out a bottle of white vinegar and butter from the pantry and two small frying pans from the cupboard next to the stove, each big enough for their respective purposes. He turned two elements on, half filling one pan with water and adding the other half with vinegar and a teaspoon of salt.

When he finished pouring in the vinegar, the water rippled and an image of the helmeted Nightmare Moon appeared. Joe stared in disbelief at the static, transparent image in the water. He blinked his eyes and shook his head to see if it was real or not, and by the time he looked back there was nothing but the heated bubbles in the water floating to the top.

Today was supposed to be good; start at midday and leaving at five. Every other week would consist of getting an eighth of an ounce with a bunch of soda and snacks to last the weekend, while the other weeks would be whisky, takeouts, and gaming. Being single had its perks, usually meaning he had more time to himself, but that didn’t stop him from bringing home some company from time to time.

He carried on making breakfast, and while that cooked he pulled the unfinished papers out from his satchel he brought home last night from the office and got a pen from his desk. Plating up his meal with a knife and fork, Joe sat down at the table to complete the papers. Almost as if on cue, he absentmindedly heard the clip clop of hooves approaching him from behind, getting louder as they approached him.

Joseph turned around expecting to see the creature from his dream, but saw nothing. ’Great, I’m going insane. First I’m dreaming about horses, now I’m having auditory and visual hallucinations about them too.’

With his mood becoming increasingly bitter about the causes of these noises and things he’s seeing, he polished off both his breakfast and papers, putting them back in their folder and into his bag, followed with a shower and clean clothes.

Keys in hand, Joseph left the apartment and made his way to the street where his car sat. It then dawned on him. How did he get home last night?

The last thing he remembered was leaving the office and going to the Turkish restaurant, Abrakebabra, to get his dinner. As he got in the drivers seat, he sat there for a minute thinking hard about he got home. Between leaving with his takeout kebab and waking up, he had zero recollections about what transpired.

“I hope I don’t have demons or anything inside me…” he nonchalantly said as he started the car up. In doing so, he looked through the rear-view mirror at the road behind him to see if there were any oncoming cars he’d need to avoid hitting as he pulled out. Only one car drove past, a black Lamborghini with a number plate that made Joseph do a double-take as it sped past.

‘IAMNMM’

“Oh piss off!” he exclaimed, rolling his eyes as he angrily threw the gear stick into reverse. He backed up far enough so he had enough space to drive forward and out of his parking space. With an aggravated huff, he began driving towards the city and his job.

He was on the motorway when the same Lamborghini passed him. Again. And again. Multiple times, in fact. It got to the point where Joseph was getting rather fed up at wondering how the same car can keep passing him multiple times on the same stretch of road when there wasn’t any off ramps for a good distance for it to turn off. That said, the driver would need to be driving extremely fast to keep up with the flow of traffic on the road.

Angered frustration began building in the form of tension in his muscles. He began to depress

the gas pedal harder, shifting into a higher gear to speed up to change lanes into the one the black car kept driving down. Several minutes passed without seeing the car, and a small amount of tension began to alleviate itself. It didn’t last long as the car appeared at his left. It honked several times at him, slowing down enough to pull into the same lane behind Joseph.

He kept looking at the car the whole time, not paying enough attention to the movement of his hands. They slowly pulled the wheel to the left as he began to inadvertently change lanes into the one he changed from ten minutes ago.

He should have been paying attention.

A large food truck carrying deliveries for various eating establishments collided with his car. The front of the truck hit the rear left bumper, and that’s all it took for his car to become perpendicular to the front of the truck as it kept driving down the road. Panic set in, and Joseph began frantically yelling at the driver to stop what he was doing. Pounding the horn didn’t do any good, it was almost as if the driver either didn’t care or didn’t notice his predicament as they continued down the motorway.

Joseph then heard the same evil cackling from his dreams as it drowned out every other noise. His head darted around trying to locate the source of the noise. Not even the sound of the metal grinding on metal could be heard over the cackling.

He caught sight of the source. Nightmare Moon was flying in circles around his car, taunting him. She stopped at a hover in the middle of the road. She bared her teeth, so big and fearsome were they that even the teeth of the Goliath Tigerfish looked as tame as butter knives by comparison. Nightmare Moon’s jaw widened to an impossible size as she charged at Joseph as he stared with abstract fear into the black abyss of her mouth, the last thing he saw before throwing his hands up as a defense.

____________________________________________________________________________________________

For the second time, Joseph sat bolt upright in bed, the last action he performed in his dream duplicating itself as he accidentally threw himself off the bed and onto the floor.

Hey lay there as the startling realization dawned on him; he was still stuck in this god-forsaken world in this stupid girly body sporting wings and a horn.

“Uuggghhhhhh…” he piteously moaned, dragging himself up to lean with his back against the bed with the covers tangled around his limbs..

Nightmare? asked Nightmare Moon, still apparently aware of him.

“Oh shut up, that was you poking around my head,” Joseph replied aloud, not caring if anyone heard since he was in his own house. He glanced right to the clock on the nightstand, seeing it to be three-twenty-five in the afternoon, about two hours after he initially went to sleep after arriving at the house. “Cause me to have nightmares again and I’ll start thinking of sexy mare plot which you’ll be forced to look at.”

You wouldn’t dare… Nightmare Moon seethed.

With a devious grin, Joseph got to all fours and walked over to the window and pulled the curtain to one side, looking out on the street below as various ponies walked by.

He spotted a mare with a grey coat and a charcoal black mane sporting a treble clef cutie mark. As she walked, Joseph stared at her rear end and began picturing what colour lingerie she would look good in. “You know,” he began. “The softer purple of her cutie mark would look great contrasted against the same shade of purple and soft pink striped socks with dark purple panti—”

STOP! bellowed Nightmare Moon from within Joe’s head. I am the night! I should not have to put up with a pretentious human mortal fanticizi—

“So are you going to stop giving me nightmares?” he interrupted, still visualizing the scantily clad legs and booty. “That’s another thing. How did I go from one dream to another? I felt like I was in your body and mine at the same time.”

I do not know, but I theorize that because there are two of us in one mind at the same time, it could mean that our memories would either get replaced, deleted, written over, or merge together. But most likely you were experiencing my past as a dream.

“Well, I don’t want to forget about my life from Earth. I’m getting a snack and going to see Luna about it. Be on your best behaviour or I’ll start thinking about stallions too,” Joseph victoriously replied.

Even though he couldn’t see her, he was positive that Nightmare Moon would have been positively fuming with rage as his default victory. Joe headed downstairs and out the front door after grabbing an apple which he levitated in his aura, taking periodic bites out of it. Luckily enough he still remembered the way to the castle. Nightmare Moon’s comment about forgetting memories lingered in his head, and Joseph became increasingly uneasy about what else he was beginning to forget, what was already forgotten, or what was already lost.

Author's Note

Spot the Hangover 2 reference :trollestia:

Hope y'all don't mind the slightly shorter chapter in comparison with my last one.

Editing done by Requiem17.

Also, as of this chapter I decided to add a 'Sex' tag because of all the accrued innuendo that's been popping up.

06| This too, shall pass

It was Luna’s intention to seek out Joseph’s thoughts while asleep. The ability to inconspicuously traverse the Dreamscape came in extremely handy for tasks such as this, and the purpose of this particular “Dream Walk”, as Luna aptly named it, meant to discover anything that could be considered nefarious towards the nation, as the case with the new arrival.

While Celestia and Luna gave him the benefit of the doubt in his actions at having been thrust into the unfamiliar world, that did not excuse the need for further investigation. While the subject had control over their dreams, they had to be aware of themself dreaming to be able to gain control of what manifests in the dream.

The sudden appearance of the Princess of the Night could easily be chalked down to the subconscious recreating her.

The dream realm was like a massive ethereal corridor with portals to dreams all around. The individual portals wrapped around Luna as she walked through the veritable tube. She simply needed to think of somepony, or a portal within her view, and that particular one would pluck itself out of the ethereal sky and present itself in front of her.

Her task was made more complicated by the fact that she was looking for a portal whose owner had two minds in the same head. After the face, she didn’t know what to think of; Joseph, Nightmare Moon, or the physical body they both inhabited. Given not too many ponies knew what Nightmare Moon looked like outside of her armour, Luna ventured that very few would take her seriously without it.

She kept an eye out for any portals that seemed to be… out of place? All of the others were easy enough to locate because they each had one mind and she hadn’t had too much experience with this kind of thing before.

It became apparent after some thought that the solution had been masquerading around as the problem all along. While she couldn’t figure out a method of selection for Joseph’s dream portal, her magic would allow her to dispel all portals that had one mind in them, which would leave any other portals that had conflicting personalities.

She once used it to find Discord’s portal before he got turned to stone. Given his mind is no different than his title as the God of Chaos, Luna tried and found it to work.

However, she did not like what she saw. Never again could Luna look at chocolate milk and candy floss without the overwhelming urge to purge her stomach contents.

Luna charged her horn with magic, readying the spell.

One by one the portals got switched off like light bulbs out of of existence. They’d be back by the time Luna returned to the real world, either that or she could ‘turn them back on’, but given the former the latter seemed pointless.

Out of the myriad of dreams, only a few discernable ones remained. Luna passed one in particular, and she knew all too well who it belonged to. She pushed the thought out of her mind and shuddered at what would be going through his head.

She called the remaining half dozen or so portals in a circle around her, and one by one she put her head through each. The first belonged to the peculiar pink mare whom she met beforehoof, after the Elements purged Nightmare Moon from her. While her magic wasn’t near as strong as Celestia’s since it was mostly stripped along with the Nightmare and essentially resided in Joseph, it would return to her in all due time. That said, Dreamwalking is relatively simple and doesn’t require too much effort.

The second portal housed a peculiar sight; a blue pony with scraggly silvery-white hair, barking. “Oohhhkay,” Luna awkwardly stated before turning herself to the third portal.

She put her hoof on it, but got quite the surprise. It refused to let her in. Not only that, but it gave her quite the literal shock. Luna tried pressing harder but the shocks got all the more intense. Eventually she was forced to pull her hoof away before the shocks got too bad. She got as close as she could, peering through the portal to the best of her ability.

She could see her dark alter-ego talking to a strange bipedal creature. He looked rather agitated as Nightmare exchanged words with him. Luna kept watching the conversation.

Joseph cupped his face in his hands as Nightmare sat next to him, but Luna couldn’t figure out what those strange appendages were. They looked like claws, but more fleshy and flexible. They looked almost like tiny little penises on the end of hooves, and that perplexed Luna to no end.

She couldn’t read the human like a normal pony in terms of body language, and thus had no idea whether or not he could be sad, happy, conflicted…

Luna focused her magic on the portal, thinking because it was a new creature she was dealing with that it would require a different method to get into Joseph’s dream. Luna let the spell drift from her horn to the portal, but unlike the physical contact that shocked her, the spell didn’t agree with the portal.

Instead, it got violently rejected. So much so that it sent her flying away as lightning arced to Luna from the portal. An apparition of Nightmare Moon manifested itself in front of Luna but she could still see the other version of the Nightmare talking to Joe.

You’re not taking this one away from me. He’s mine, it said before dissolving, leaving a shocked and stunned Luna staring wide-eyed at the portal.

“I must tell Celestia!” Luna exclaimed.

She closed her eyes in concentration and furrowed her brow, readying her magic to take her back to the real world. Ponies that don’t know they’re dreaming get woken up by external means, namely something that goes bump in the night so it’s no big deal. Dreamweavers, like Luna and a select few special ponies, have the innate ability to interact with dreams and they usually had to will themselves awake. That essentially meant forcing themselves to wake up, although having someone else wake them up would work the same.

Luna sat bolt-upright in bed with a sharply inhaled gasp, immediately letting it heave as her chest rose and fell with panicked breaths.

You see, Joseph, The Fates have chosen you for a reason, The Nightmare began.

’What, those three old bags? How did they ‘choose’ me, then?’ he queried. ’I’m pretty sure this happening with me in your body wasn’t an arbitrary decision.’

Nightmare Moon had spent the duration of the walk from when they left the house trying to explain why Joseph had ended up in this land. Her supposedly convincing argument was doing little to persuade him.

’You see, I’m aware of people like you. You spin elaborate tales and try to convince me to do your deeds since you are rather incapable of doing so given your current predicament,’ Joseph said, irritation creeping up in the tone of his voice. ’You would do wise not to underestimate me just because you don’t know anything of my species.’

Hmm, Nightmare smirked. We shall see about that.

’Just what do you mean by that?’ he asked. Several seconds of silence ensued without a response. ’Uh, hello? You still up there?’ He tapped a hoof to the side of his head but still got no response.

“Oi, you still there?” Joseph asked aloud.

Another’s voice sounded, thickly accented. “I didn’t realise I was supposed to go anywhere.”

Joseph’s head snapped to his left and he saw a rather well-built, alabaster unicorn wearing what could be described as a waistcoat by human standards, with a monocle propped on his right eye, sitting outside at a cafe table while sipping a cup of tea that floated in his aura.

Looking down a bit further, he noticed the stallions cutie mark consisted of a moustache with an overlying monocle. Joseph pondered why someone with a picture of a moustache on their thigh wouldn’t have one growing.

“I must say, you seem to be quite the character. It’s not often I see a mare with dark purple mane and equally darker blue coat, but… it is rather surreal to see a grown mare without a cutie mark, if I’m to be honest, my dear.”

“Hey, y’all best not be hittin on me,” Joseph retorted. “I’ve had enough of that and I’ve not been here two days.”

“Madame, I’m merely suggesting I could help your cutie mark appear,” the stallion replied with condescending sincerity.

Joseph turned in place to face the stallion with a slightly confused look. “I thought they appear when you ponies find the thing that yo..” Joseph cut himself off, mentally chastising himself for not completely thinking that through.

He had caught wind of an explanation that a cutie mark is a pony’s special talent, effectually representing either the job or profession they’re best suited at… doing.

“Oh you dirty bastard!” Joseph exclaimed.

Instantly, a rather wide grin appeared on the stallion’s face. Indicative of what Joseph would have called a ‘shit-eating’ grin, he leered at the pony and cursed himself for walking right into that one. Joe’s interesting choice of wording garnered the attention of several passer-by’s, whom seemed to snicker at the monocle-wearing pony’s expression.

Utilizing the moment, Joseph plucked the teapot from the table and held it aloft in his aura. “It looks like you enjoy your tea, don’t you?” he began.

“My my, the lady seems to have considered my offer! She’s pouring me another cup of tea to prove it!” He laughed at his own joke, but the moment was short-lived.

Joe didn’t pour another cup, no, he had other plans in mind for it. He levitated the teapot over the head of the stallion and turned it upside down. The lid to the pot fell off and hit the unnamed stallion on the horn before clattering back to the table. The tea stained the alabaster-white coat, turning the top half of him a light brown. The basket holding the tea leaves slid out as the leaves landed with wet plops atop his head.

Joseph watched as the basket caught on the horn of the tea-soaked individual, spinning a few times before settling. The unicorn didn’t do anything; he was stunned from disbelief at having his imported Jasmine tea emptied over him.

Holding his head high, Joseph put the teapot back on the table and replaced the lid and turned back in the direction of the castle while several ponies were trying to hide their snickers and giggles from adding insult to injury to the tea-stained pony.

“You would do wise to check yourself next time, or it won’t be tea I’ll be dumping on you.” Ignoring the expressions of shock and awe from the bystanders, he continued his walk towards the palace to meet with Luna.

It took Joseph all of twenty minutes to make his way back to the palace entrance after the incident with the tea, feeling delightfully smug. He was greeted by a pair of stoic guards, akin to the British Royal Guards that stand guard, unmoving, outside the gates of Buckingham Palace.

“Halt,” one of them commanded. “Please provide either a summons letter, invitation, or state your business at the palace.”

“I have business with Princess Luna. Tell her that Eclipse is here.”

The guard teleported away, gone for all of thirty seconds before re-appearing. “She says to make your way up. Have a nice day.”

Joseph passed the gates and began to head up the stairs to the main entrance. When he was heading for the exit before he had Luna to guide him, now he had no idea where he was headed.

The main entrance had a massive foyer and the staircase at the end of the room opposite the door tapered towards the top and spread out quite a bit where it met the floor. At the top was a walkway that spread along the walls back towards the main entrance, doors lining its entirety. The ground floor had doors too, but there were two arched doorways that didn’t have any actual doors. Instead, they were corridors that lead down a certain length before turning sharply right if you walked down the left hand corridor for example.

All in all the layout reminded him of the Calvert Mansion from Point Lookout to a degree.

“Uuhhh…” he uttered to nobody in particular. In hindsight, he should have been paying attention to the route Luna took with him to make sure he knew the right way.

He guessed the two corridors would have been for any servants to hurry from one part of the castle to the other had they not the ability to teleport. “Goddamn it!” he swore under his breath, figuring he’d pick and choose a random door until he found someone that could take him where he needed to go.

Joe went up the stairs and turned right, using his magic to open the first door. All that greeted him was another corridor with a left-hand bend, but he could hear hoofsteps coming down the hall. Several seconds later a unicorn mare strode around the corner. The first thing that came to Joseph's mind was the rather disappointingly modest maids outfit.

The second thing that crossed his mind was why he was thinking such things. 'They're animals,' he reasoned. Then the weight of that statement hit him. 'You're an animal...' He mentally sighed.

He wanted to ask Nightmare a question, but getting annoyed at her alarmingly long absence he tapped a hoof on the side of his head. The maid must have seen him do this.

"Are you ok there, Miss?" she asked.

"Hmm? Oh, yes, thanks." Joe searched for an excuse to explain why he hit the side of his head with his hoof, but couldn't come up with anything, so he sidestepped the issue. "Could you please take me to Princess Luna's office? I'm due to meet with her."

"But of course, ma'am," the maid said with a courteous bow. She cantered down the hall towards Joseph as she tucked the feather duster behind her and out of sight. Joe figured she put it in a pocket, but when she came out the door and took a left, Joe could see no pockets, leaving him wondering where she put it exactly.

"Right this way," the maid chimed. Joe followed her to the end of the balcony and in turn the door at the end. With Joe in tow, the maid took him through a nigh endless expanse of corridors, while Joseph thought to himself that he'd've surely gotten lost had he simply wandered around searching for his destination.

Eventually they stopped at a seemingly inconspicuous door in the middle of a hallway that looked like every other hallway they had come down to get here.

"How the hay do the Princesses find their way around this place, or anyone else for that matter?"

"They teleport," the maid said. "Or you just got to know your way around."

"So I take it you know this place rather well?"

With a slight giggle in her voice, the maid knocked on the door and disappeared in a flash of blinding light as sparkles cascaded down from where she once stood.

"Cheeky bitch," Joe muttered. "Freaking sparkles," he added, swatting at the sparkles in the air as they slowly sank to the carpet and disappeared. "I swear, this place is right out of a kids cartoon show."

A resounding click came from the door as it creaked open. He gazed upon the ever so beaut- 'Why why WHY!?' he mentally chastised. 'You dump tea over a guy's head but raise an eyebrow at a maid, and think her outfit could have been shorter?'

"Ugh..." he groaned as the door swung open completely.

"Something the matter, Joseph?"

"I am getting some weird feelings as of late."

"Presumably because of the body swap?" Luna quizzed. "Or is it hormonal, given that you are a mare?"

"Excuse me?" Joe asked, raising a curious eyebrow at the last part of the Princesses' question.

"Please, we have no need for formalities in this instance."

"Right. Anyway, I dumped tea over a guy's head and found myself raising an eyebrow at one of the maids, mentally complaining her outfit was too long—if I'm to be blunt, pardon me otherwise. It's like I'm a lesbian trapped in a man's body."

Luna cracked a slight smile. "Or are you a man trapped in a lesbian's body?"

Joseph chuckle-snorted. "You do realize that I am essentially you?"

Luna's smile disappeared. Quickly. Very quickly. She hurriedly regained her composure and made an attempt at wiping the growing blush from her face. "Come in, I have much to discuss with you."

Joseph walked into the room, noting a desk with two bookcases on the left and right walls, opposite both ends of the desk, while the desk itself contained several parchment scrolls and quills sitting in containers of their own next to a little bottle of ink. On the floor were two cushions.

Joe felt like he was back in the principal's office at school from the layout.

"Please, sit down." There was a pregnant moment of silence before Luna continued. "If you care to say why you're back here so soon, then I'll address my concerns about you."

With a sigh, Joseph began to recount his dream. "Well, after I left here, I went to get food for the house and I got sidetracked and wound up at a cider bar."

Luna giggle-snorted at that. "Pardon, that was unbecoming of a Princess. Continue."

"Anyway... Given I wasn't familiar with the strength of your guys' alcoholic beverages, I went home—loosely speaking of course—to sleep it off. That's where things got interesting." Joe saw Luna raise an eyebrow with intrigue and lean closer. "I had a dream. It was... about you."

"Me? Pray tell, what did it involve?" Joe was quiet for a good while, then Luna saw his ears flatten against the side of his head, indicating he was either sad or remorseful about something.

Joe, on the other hand, wasn't quite sure how to properly phrase his dream. Did he tell Luna it was about her banishment, that he experienced it first hand? Or did he ease into it by asking what happened?

"If I may ask, Princess, how long were you banished for?"

"If it is of relevance, then I will say nigh a millenium, a thousand years if you will." Joe's expression didn't change, leaving Luna wondering what it is he had to say. "Joseph, why hesitate?"

"I don't know, your highness. I'm new here, obviously, and thus I don't know how you'd react to certain things I say. To address why I'm here by way of answer, I'm hesitant to find out what happened if I told you that I dreamed of what happened between you and Celestia, specifically the period between you transforming into Nightmare Moon and getting sent to the moon."

"Hmm, that is interesting. How did you experience it?"

"Well, first hand if that's what you're looking for, although I felt myself play the part of Nightmare. It was all too real, I felt and heard everything. It was when you made your introduction and declaration of intentions that you transformed. When I say I was the Nightmare—and I mean this literally in this case—I felt myself take over you, making you do all those things."

Joe looked up at Luna cautiously, seeing her eyes narrow at him, not with ill intent, but rather carefully studying him. "This has the potential to be problematic. You have the abilities of the Nightmare in body, but your thoughts are still intact from your previous life."

Joseph gave a 'Yeah, right.' huff through his nostrils.

"Excuse me? Was it something I said?"

"Well, there was a second part to it. After I, or you—oh I don't know anymore, I woke up in my own bed back home, on Earth. I got up, and went about my daily routine. I was on my way to work, but Nightmare kept popping up. I thought it was just hallucinations from such a vivid dream from the first part of it, but then my car crashed and I woke up back in this body," Joe finished as he gestured with a hoof over his feminine body.

"Car? What is a 'car'?"

Joe deadpanned. "Is that all you got from that? Focus, please."

"Oh, but of course. I just wish to know what it is to fully understand your story."

"Imagine a cart being pulled by a horse, or pony in your case. Except that pony doesn't have legs, just another set of wheels to replace his legs."

"It sounds horrifying, what accident would have caused that?" quirked Luna.

"That's not the point. Anyway, imagine that it lives off a diet of liquid which gives it energy to move forward."

"Seems simple enough, but please continue."

"My question is; am I losing my mind if I am having these realistic dreams of your past?"

Luna paused in thought, looking off to the side as if contemplating a reply or thinking about something else in relation to Joseph's question. That's what it would have looked like to Joe, but the fact of the matter was Luna was taking into consideration what she had seen in the Dreamscape with Joseph’s dream.

"It does present a problem. Given that there's two minds in one body, it could be that you both are vying for control. One wins while the other gets locked away in the mind."

"OK, now the good news," Joe said with a hint of growing agitation.

"It is possible for you to come out on top, and that's already very likely since you're the more dominant one; you're the one in control."

'Lady, you have no idea,' Joe said to himself. He often found that his somewhat opportune sense or dirty humour had a hard time leaving him.

"However, you mustn't be swayed by whatever Nightmare says to you."

"Eh," Joe shrugged nonchalantly. "You can't corrupt what is already so."

Immediately, Luna stood up and assumed an aggressive stance, her horn glowing. "Art thou really Joseph, or just the Nightmare parading around claiming to be him?"

"Woah woah woah! That didn't sound like how you thought it did, I swear!"

"Prove it," the alicorn seethed.

"Well, on Earth, I had a motto; Everyone has two sides; one they want to show, and one they want to hide. I say that because you shouldn't take anyone at face value, being that they could already be corrupt."

"That doesn't help your case!" Luna boomed,

"I've got your evil alter inside me, that's what I mean!" Joseph returned in equal volume. "I've already lost my home, friends, my fucking body—of all things, and I didn't have any family! What else have I got to lose!? This, your highness," Joseph said, his voice dripping venom, "IS. ON. YOU! Had you not been corrupted, I wouldn't be here! I would have died with dignity at saving a life on Earth!"

Joseph took a moment to collect his breath as Luna dropped the magical charge in her horn as she tentatively sat down, still on guard. "It's called a Nightmare for a reason. The more innocent something is, the more satisfying it is to corrupt. The ponies of your populace live in a state of ignorant bliss, it would be extremely easy for an outside force to corrupt someone else like it did to you."

Luna's demeanour softened somewhat while she absorbed his sudden—but not completely unjustified—outburst.

"It pains me to admit that you are correct on the terms of being unaware of danger, but they aren't totally and utterly ignorant about it. They have enough common sense not to go wandering in the Everfree Forest. Such a place harbours creatures that would tear a pony to ribbons."

"Just remind me not to go there without supervision, then," Joseph joked in an attempt to lighten the air of tension lingering like a fog in the room.

It was at that point a soft knock came from the door as it immediately clicked open.

'Well that was rude,' he thought.

"Sister, have you a moment?" The door was opened more, revealing the radiant white alicorn standing in the hall.

"Joseph, do you mind?"

"Oh of course not, Princess," he said as he lamely sat upon his cushion. Both Princesses looked at him expectantly for some reason. "What?" Celestia stepped to the side with a hoof holding the door open. "Oh..." He got up and left the room, leaving the two mares alone for the moment.

"Just wait outside."

As soon as Joseph left, the door got shut fast enough that he felt a draft rush over his rear and creep up his spine. "OK, that was odd..."

Meanwhile in Luna's office, Celestia turned to Luna. "Did you discern whether or not his presence is an issue?"

"Nay, Sister. His presence is not, but that is a non-issue. The matter lies with the mind the Nightmare and Joseph inhabit. Nightmare and Joseph are vying for control of the body, that's my concern."

"What I still don't understand is; after The Elements purged Nightmare from you, how he got brought here, a body created, and Nightmare still lives on in consciousness."

Luna nodded in agreement. "Tis on everypony's minds. But the fact of the matter, Sister, is that he possess the abilities of Nightmare, of which he is only partially aware. He possesses foal-level levitation magic currently, but it would go without saying that we need to keep a close eye on him."

"He deserves the benefit of the doubt," Celestia said calmly. "But it would behoove you to watch him, Luna." She finished on a stern note, driving home the point to her sister.

The two shared an understanding, silent, moment before Celestia turned to leave wordlessly, opening the door to reveal Joseph sitting on his haunches outside the doorway. The alabaster goddess looked down at him with a welcoming smile before she teleported away.

Joseph cocked his head in confusion and looked through the door to Luna. "Why did she take two steps out the door when she could have teleported to begin with?"

Half an hour later, Joseph had left Luna's office and made his way through the streets back to the house. He thought he'd take his time, though. It was late afternoon, and the air had that deliciously crisp scent as it permeated his nostrils.

On Earth, he'd often take time in the evening to walk down to the store to get a few snacks and some soda to enjoy on the following day off. It was one of his creature comforts; eating a load of junkfood and enjoying a few computer games or watching TV.

It was said that an ancient Persian poet dictated the fable of a King, whom challenged wise men to make him a ring that made him happy when he was sad, and sad when he was happy. The King was presented with a ring engraved with the phrase 'This too, shall pass'.

Joseph wondered how long this would keep up, if this whole thing will pass. Parading around as an alien with another alien inside his head. Joe knew he couldn't go back to whence he came, for it was his death that brought him here to begin with. Even if such a method could be found, it would be pointless trying to return to a dead body which had an extremely high probability to be buried six feet under by now.

People can overcome an innumerable amount of hardship. He remembered watching a medical documentary where a man got shot and the bullet ricocheted off of the bones in his chest cavity, succeeding in nicking the vast majority of his organs. Miraculously, he survived thanks to the help of the medical professionals, whom spent their time tirelessly stitching up every cut and wound the bullet caused.

Other instances were of people being born blind and learned to use echolocation like bats. Other people lost their arms but continued their career as a graphical design artist by using their feet to draw and move the rulers around.

That left him wondering: 'How long would it take me to overcome this happenstance?’

The answer was easy. He couldn't fully overcome such a jarring experience. He went from tall, fleshy human with opposable thumbs to a lady-horse, infamous for wanting to block out the sun and create eternal night. With his new gender and body, as well as appendages and abilities that would exist strictly in fantasy and books about wizards and dragons. It was all too much for his mind to process.

When people lose brain functions from trauma, the brain itself will literally rewire the neurons in the brain to reroute the information and provide the same functions it lost. It's like a road gets destroyed beyond repair, so you build a new road to the same destination, around the damage. It would take a huge amount of time, but it's possible.

This brain, however, was not his.

His human mind was discovering parts of its host's brain that it never knew existed, controlling functions that were right out of a fantasy novel. Joseph could perform the functions it provided to a degree; he knew they were there, but accommodating them is akin to trying to stuff two-thousands words of an essay onto a page big enough for only a thousand. Parts are going to need to be erased, and it's the ones that have already been involuntarily scrubbed that he was worrying about.

He came upon a little cafe that didn't appear to have many ponies at it. Even though Joseph was rather introverted on Earth, well, in general, he did enjoy hanging out with his small group of friends working on projects and going out with them. It's times like this that a nearly empty cafe on a delightfully chill late-afternoon was utter bliss. He always liked his alone time; it gave him that moment of clarity that everyone needed, and this chance to have something to eat and drink while reflect on his situation and how he could make the best of it.

Upon entering the establishment, he noticed it wasn't entirely unlike a diner from back home. There was even a plate pass between the front counter with the kitchen in back. It gave Joseph a modicum of comfort and he smiled weakly. Muffins and cakes sat on stands, covered by the half-globe fly nets, and pastries sat in a cabinet. Behind the counter he saw the oh-so-familiar coffee pot with filter coffee brewing which made him feel right at home. And there was even a young couple sitting in one of the booths doting on each other like he saw in 80's-themed movies where the teens would hang out at Milk Bars.

While he was smiling, it was an uneasy one because he was still upset about being in this strange place.

"Hey hon," greeted the mare attending the counter. "Coffee's fresh, and we got some delicious, home-style hay-fries."

Joseph always found the term, 'Home-Style' to be tossed around quite a bit. In the end, curiosity got the better of him and he did a quick search on the internet to settle any confusion he might have had.

He found it's typically used as a term to describe something made or produced by a specific person, place or region, referring to the unique way something is produced. Because of marketing, brands marked as such lose the meaning behind putting that label on their product. He often found that small scale cafès had more weight behind it. Since the product wasn't exactly mass-produced, it had that much more care put into it.

"Oh yeah, how do you make them?" Joseph inquired.

"Sorry there, it's our secret," the mare replied with a sly wink.

"Come now, I'm new here—been in town for the good part of a couple days. Food for thought?"

"Tell ya what, I'll give you a free sample to taste, and if you can guess right then I'll give you a free meal. How's that for first time customer service?"

"Delightful," he replied with a comedically eloquent tone and a wave of his hoof. The mare behind the counter shared in his humour, and he glanced at the nametag on the mare's apron. It read 'Muffin Top. She must be the baker of the cakes and sweets by the sounds of it. He didn't know why exactly, but this place seemed full of connotative names. Morning Glory, now Muffin Top? What's next, Twatty Flowers?

"Hey, Taka, taster of the hay fries please."

"Taka?" Joe quizzed, then thinking to himself: 'It begins...' "What does that mean?"

Muffin Top shrugged. "I've been asking him that for years. It's one of those exotic names; he's not from around here. Won't let people see his cutie mark either, oddly enough."

Joe craned his neck to look through the gap in the wall, namely the pass, to see into the back. He saw a dirt-orange stallion with a black mane and a white muzzle with a scar across his left eye, using magic to levitate over a dozen things; including dishes, plates, cutlery, and several food items. Joe saw Taka, whom he presumed to be the chef, place a small plate on the pass with a napkin on it.

Muffin Top took the coffee pot by the handle in her mouth after putting a mug on the counter, pouring Joe a nice cup of Joe.

He picked it up with his magic and took a precursory sip. His eyes widened like saucers.

"Like it eh?"

"It's delicious!" he exclaimed taking another sip. "It tastes rather... I unno, Christmas-y?"

Muffin Top gave him a peculiar look. "What's Christmas?"

"Uuhhh..." He tried to think of an excuse. "An annual holiday from my country. Celebrated as a joyous occasion. We'd sit around an open fire with our families, sing, tell stories..." His voice trailed off as the nostalgia about his family hit him.

Joseph was barely out of his teens. One day, him and his parents went to the Bahamas for an exotic holiday. They all had an unforgettable time; an entire week of just the three of them. They went jet skiing, yachting, ate at four and five star restaurants, and went reef diving. It was that underwater excursion at weeks end two days before they were due to leave that turned everything upside down. Joe's mother got cut on some coral, and his father got stung by a weird jellyfish, of which professionals weren't able to identify in any catalogue they had.

The symptoms of the sting were greatly bizarre, as was the cut on his mothers calf.

They were hospitalized on the island under quarantine, not allowed to leave. Medical and bio-hazard chemical and animal professionals and experts were called in from all over the world to try identify, and source whatever toxic substance had got into the systems of his parents. Joe's father tried to describe the jellyfish, saying it was largely a blackish-grey with red and purple tentacle stingers. The coral, as his mother said, was black, but it had a distinctive emerald-green sheen to it.

Dive teams—equipped with the necessary safety equipment—were tasked with finding the jellyfish and coral.

Meanwhile, the condition of Joe's parents worsened.

His father had aggressive fits periodically, and he needed to be put into a more secure room and sedated whenever he had an outburst. The most notable change was the eyes of both parents. Joe's father's eye's sclera turned green while the iris turned red. His mother had a similar effect; except the sclera and iris of her eyes turned different shades of green, but she had delusional ramblings instead of her spouse's outbursts. The one thing they did have in common was a rampant, and extremely puzzling case of frostbite, gangrene, and a rather mild case of Necrotising Faciitis that the doctors found was the easiest thing to explain to Joe, and although Joe's dad didn't get the NF, his mum did.

Gangrene is where the skin rots, turns black and falls off, similar to how mountain climber's feet go black if they get frostbite. Necrotising Fasciitis, however, is an extremely debilitating disease. When it gets into your blood, it will literally eat your flesh, turning it to liquid. The only cure is to cut, and keep cutting to remove the infected flesh.

Doctors took blood samples from them both, and then Joe's worst fears were coming true. The toxins from the jellyfish and coral were destroying them and their DNA at the cellular level. Eventually there wouldn't be enough tissue, muscle, and things of that nature. It would all just break down, not entirely similar to how biodegradable plastics work, the doctors told Joseph—by way of answer.

It got so bad that they both were put in the ICU ward in specialized rooms normally reserved for cancer patients going through harsh chemotherapy. The rooms were sterile, literally no bacteria could get in or out. They were designed that way because the radiation that destroys cancer cells also does a number on the body's immune system.

If they could keep germs out, they could keep a never-before seen exotic illness, in.

Joe's mum's legs and arms got the worst of it. They had become almost entirely black, and lumps of flesh had fallen off as well as doctors trying and failing to cut away the infected tissue. There were a couple places on her arms and legs where you could see right through.

His mother was the first to go: the NF had eaten away enough of her tissue. It had been a long, gruelling three weeks at the hospital, and by this point he had spent a month away from home. The staff were understanding enough to let Joseph sleep in an adjacent room, and he only left to go back to the hotel to get some of his stuff, shower, things like that. A week later, his father passed away. The black from the comparable case of frostbite—the doctors never did find out what it was, it was as a comparable case—had crawled its way up his dad's entire right arm, half of his left leg, and only just the foot of his right leg.

Doctors never could figure out why something akin to frostbite and NF had afflicted these people. The jellyfish was never recovered, and several samples of coral were retrieved for analysis. None of the samples indicated the levels of toxicity in the case of Joseph's mum and dad.

Doctors put them in medically-induced comas at week two. The pain from everything had gotten too much, bordering on inhumane. It hurt Joseph beyond words to see them like that. The doctors needed his consent to do it, and he gained an extra half hours sleep on top of the hour or so he was already getting at night knowing they weren't suffering through all that pain, that they could at least rest easily enough.

Because of the nature of the affliction, the bodies weren't allowed to leave the country for fear of the disease or cause, spreading. Instead, scientists collected all necessary samples they needed before the bodies were incinerated to completely destroy the rest of the disease so it had no chance of spreading. All collected samples were in lockdown, inaccessible to all except those studying to discover what it was that killed these two people.

Five weeks ago, the three of them left on a holiday as a family. Only Joseph returned, three suitcases in tow.

"Excuse me, are you going to try the hay fries?"

"Huh?"

"You were talking about your 'holiday' then just trailed off as you stirred the sugar into your coffee. I gave you the fries but it's been several minutes since you touched them. Are you alright?" she asked with a concerned tone and raise of her eyebrow.

"Yeah, sorry. Was just thinking about my parents. You know how it is, thinking about all the good times we shared."

"Ah, I understand. Just remember; free meal if you can guess the secret!" After Muffin Top finished her sentence, she went to the other end of the counter to top up a pegasi's cup from the coffee pot.

Joe took the bowl of fries placed upon the napkin on the plate—complete with ramekins of red and white sauces he assumed to be tomato sauce and aioli—to a booth across from the doting couple. He always thought that the napkin between the plate and bowl was there for customers to use to wipe their hands on after finishing. No, it was there to stop the bowl sliding around on the plate: the bonus was you could wipe your hands and dab your mouth of the sauces that collected.

Even though he didn't get an answer out of the mare as to why the coffee tasted Christmas-y, he relished in the delicious flavour as he pulled a fry from the bowl. He put it in his mouth too carefully sample its flavours on his palette. Biting it in half, he thought about the smooth, yet bold flavour.

"No, you are~" cooed the mare adjacent to him, playfully swatting at her partner.

Joe just rolled his eyes and went back to his fries. It had to be the oil they were cooled in; the fries didn't have any special flavour themselves apart from the oddly coloured salt. He collected enough to taste it, and gave a small chuckle. Lightly spiced salt. Most likely paprika and chillies.

"Oh my parents are going to love you," returned the stallion sitting opposite the mare.

Joe heaved an exasperated sigh.

Loneliness was a complicated thing. He liked having a coffee and reading the newspaper alone, walking alone, those moments gave him time to set his mind free, to think, and some privacy to scratch his balls if he so desired [but the latter has been thrown out the window].

But when he saw a mother with her child, or a friend laughing with their friends, a girl or guy with lovers showing public displays of affection, it dawned on him at that moment, that even though being alone had its moments of clarity and blissful silence...

He didn't want to be lonely.

The impact of the situation as a whole caught up to Joseph. The death of his parents six and a half years ago, his death, being reincarnated as an arguably evil magical princess horse. His throat hurt, he could barely swallow from all the repressed feelings beginning to creep up on him as the flood barrier for his tear ducts opened.

Joseph did the only thing he could do in a situation like this, and something that everybody needs to get out of their system from a build-up of emotions.

His lay his head on the table, and he cried silently, tears streaming down his face and collecting on the table as he carelessly ate and drank. On the bright side, he would be coming back for the fries and coffee.

In his mind, Nightmare has watched the events of his memory play out like a slideshow in front of her.

"Good, good," she uttered to herself. "It's only a matter of time."

Meanwhile, in Celestia's private office, she stared into a pool of water shining with her magic. A viewing portal designed to see whomever she chooses.

She only saw Joseph take a bite out of the hay fry, then his head hitting the table. Through the viewing portal, she could hear the muffled sobs of the distraught human-turned-pony.

Having had enough, the glow of her horn dissipated, turning off the magical water, only to return a moment later as it levitated a parchment and quill.

Twilight Sparkle, my most faithful student, she began.

You are aware of the happening of Nightmare Moon reborn into a body of her own controlled by the thoughts of the human. We have a task for you and your pink friend...

Author's Note

First off, please don't hate me for taking two months long to knock out a chapter! :fluttercry::fluttercry:

On a side note, towards the beginning where I mentioned 'Dreamweavers'. I used it as a reference from a story of the same name, namely this story: Dreamweaver. Y'all should go check it out, it's absolutely fantastic!

08| Interlude 1: Joseph Merrick

Author's Note

This was a bit longer originally, but I had to cut a few hundred words because that section didn't give anything to the story.

Speaking of, this chapter has relevance as a whole, and I thought about sprinkling it between a few other chapters, but I couldn't appropriately fit the three key events in this chapter anywhere else, and while it may seem out of place, it still has relevance to the story overall.

08| Interlude 1: Joseph Merrick

For Joseph, American college had been a rather interesting experience thus far.

He finished school in the UK, the remaining funds having been provided by his parents' insurance after their vacation incident, paid in advance to cover any costs so any other caregivers wouldn't have to fork out anything.

The kids at his old school were certainly kind enough to him after they heard what happened to his parents, and even though he knew they were all feeling sorry for what had happened, it didn't do much to quell the hurt he had been feeling.

Mr. and Ms. Merrick had taught their son enough responsibility to take care of himself, but there came a time where foster care had become an option for him.

He knew of the system and how it helped, but he seemed split whether or not he should go into it, given the sketchy results. He proved the representatives that spoke to him about foster care that he had the fortitude to take care of himself, but, given his youth, simply taking care of himself was not an option. Or at least in the government's eyes.

It was explained that when he turned eighteen that he had the free will to drop out of the system if he absolutely wanted to, but until the insurance money was released he had no way to support himself. In retrospect, he had to agree.

For the next two and a half years he stayed with a woman in her late thirties.

They both had their differences and hard times. When Joseph first arrived; she showed him around the house and the neighbourhood, took him out to dinner on the first, and was just there for him when he needed a shoulder to lean on when he felt down.

She respected Joseph's privacy, figuring that he needed his own personal space. One day she took Joseph aside and wanted to talk to him about his parents, thinking it would be good for him to get it off his chest so it's not being bottled up where it would fester.

It hurt, reliving the events through story. During the chat, he joked and said he should write it down and print out copies to hand out so he wouldn't have to recount his story every time someone asked.

When he turned eighteen, that's where he had to make a hard choice.

He could've stayed with the foster mother for as long as he wanted, and serious thought was put into that decision. She had taken him in during a time of mourning and done the next best thing a surrogate mother could.

However, it was his eventual decision to travel abroad and finish studying in America, and to fulfil a desire to travel. Now would have been as good of a time as any. He loved books, and often spent time cooped up in his room reading adventure and fantasy novels. It was a mode of escape from the real world for a period of time, helping him to calm down and readjust to life after his parents took a second, unexpected vacation to the pearly gates.

Literature was his chosen field, and from all his reading he had grown an affinity for mythology from the fantasy books he read.Thus, he wanted to have an emphasis on myth and legend in his literature studies, although nothing beat an awesome adventure book from time to time.

He gave his foster mother a big farewell hug, leaving her with a handsome cheque to both say thank you, and Joseph cheekily added: "To replace all the food I ate."

He had to put much thought into the house and its possessions, what to do with them. He opted to sell the house for a bonus few hundred thousand pounds, but when he chose a new place to stay he'd bring items he wanted to keep, to America.

He first chose his father's armchair. That thing wasn't going to collect dust in a storage locker or be drawn on by some snot-nosed kids after their parents bought it. No way in high hell that was happening. Something of his mother's was a bit of a difficult decision. She had her jewellery, but was more attached to the family portraits than anything.

Joseph had talked to the doctors at the hospital where his parents were cremated about taking their ashes back with him, but they explained that while they burned the ashes to keep the unknown diseases from spreading, there could still be a chance of contamination if some of the disease cells somehow survived.

He thought of having their ashes compressed and made into diamonds, which he'd then put into a pendant to wear around his neck so he'd never be without them. Something else he saw while watching a documentary about Viking Swords was that they often used the ashes of deceased relatives in the forging of their blades. It was thought that adding in ashes of family members empowered the blade with the strength of their beloved.

The fact of the matter, as was explained on the TV, was that the ashes helped remove impurities from the steel used and adding a toughness to the blade. But that didn't take away from the sentimental value by any means.

The doctor he spoke to thought the rings would have been a lovely idea, but couldn't help but raise an eyebrow when he mentioned forging knives with the ashes, adding that if any trace of the virus were present in the ashes, anyone that was cut with the blade had the chance to catch whatever afflicted his parents.

The doctor's comment reminded Joseph of video games, but he didn't mention this part to the doctor. He thought of blades, swords, and other weapons that had "poison damage". Having a blade right out of a videogame that closely mimicked its digital counterpart in what it accomplished would be every nerd's wet dream.

He sold the vast majority of their possessions; the television, furniture, kitchen appliances etc etc. He was almost tempted to say to the buyers of the house that they could have everything inside for a little extra cash once he took what he wanted.

He put everything he thought he'd need for his new place, keeping his bed, computer, every single family photo, his fathers' armchair, his parent's wedding rings and mother's engagement ring were a must have (but he kept those on him), into a shipping container that he'd send for when he found a suitable place to settle down in. He was fortunate enough that the doctors removed their rings early on, so they were willing to release them to Joseph having been thoroughly cleaned and disinfected first just to be on the safe side.

The crate with all his belongings would take weeks to get across the ocean on a boat, so for about a month he was living out of a suitcase in a small apartment in a dodgy part of town while he searched for a house and a school to go to.

He had the finances to last several years, but he knew those would run out sooner or later if he didn't get a job for the security if something happened to the insurance money.

When he finally managed to settle down into his new, two-bedroom terrace house, he started looking for a school to enroll in and for a flatmate. The logic being the flatmate could help cook, clean, and pay a little bit of board to cover the expenses. A bit of friendly company was nice now and then, and it was his first roommate that introduce Joseph to his group of friends.

At Joe's discretion, his flatmate invited his friends around one day just to have a few drinks and chat after work, and Joseph kept to himself while they were over. Joe went to the kitchen to refill his water bottle at one point after it ran out, and everyone that was sitting in the lounge saw him, and wanted to chat. One thing lead to another and they managed to squeeze his story from him. Afterwards, it was unanimous that Joe spend more time with them instead of holed up on his computer. That wasn't going to do him any good, but spending time with people, would.

Joe started working at a beach-side cafe on one or two days during the weekends while studying where he could. He wasn't quite sure where he wanted to go in the long run with studying literature, but for the time being he had a job, was educating himself, and had begun to forge new relationships in friends.

But this particular job was a bit of a nightmare for him. The sous chef there had a bit of a grumpy demeanour, often aggravated when the cafe would get slammed with orders during the lunch period on the weekends, and sundays were the worst in that respect. Once, he even caught the sous chef doing crack in the back room where they stored all the food. The thing is, the back room had a garage door to access for deliveries and they would leave it half open during the day for the ease of getting food, and as a sort of a break room for smoke breaks. Had the garage door been opened any more, any passing customer would have seen the chef snorting the nasty stuff.

He told the manager who was also the head chef, but what seriously scared Joe was his reply: "You should have asked him where mine was.". He saw the humour in it, but that didn't excuse the fact that the boss essentially condoned the use of Class A Narcotics. Eventually the stress from having to deal with a coked-up, perpetually angry chef took its toll on Joe and he had to leave. Joe even made the comparison of Gordon Ramsay high on methamphetamine–it was that bad.

It took the good part of a year, but he eventually found another place to work at: also a beach side cafe. These guys were much more sociable and easier to get along with, and he enjoyed it there until the place was forcibly shut down because the owner was using profits from the business and investing it into more drugs.

Joseph elected to forego jobs until he had the time and dedication to invest in them when he wasn't studying. And to find a place that he was certain wasn't involved in any illegal trade.

He didn't mind weed though, but that was as far as he was willing to go.

But on this particular day at school, things were taking a turn for the worse.

Through a means that he never found out, news of his parents death managed to leak into the school. He really only told the Dean and a couple professors, and he guessed that someone either overheard them talking about it or told other students, but he still wasn't sure.

It didn't take him too long to make enemies, specifically bullies. They always seemed to have it in for the new kid for some reason.

Yes, he was in his early twenties and dealing with bullies at school.

By nature, Joe was a nice guy. A pacifist, some would call him. Didn't hurt anyone, never picked any fights, and preferred brains over brawn any day. He tried nipping the situation in the bud by telling the Dean about the bully, but it didn't go any further than having them both called into the office where the Dean stressed what would happen to the bully if he kept knocking Joe about, figuratively speaking.

But that was about as far as it went, and unfortunately the bullying didn't stop there.

He didn't know how, or why, but Michael, as Joseph aptly nicknamed the bully, had him cornered against a locker in an empty hall and was threatening him.

"Awww, what you gonna do? Go running home to your mommy and daddy?" he teased. "Oh, wait, you don't have any! You're such a nerd for choosing books over sports." The insult was punctuated by Mr. Asshat laughing at his own cruel joke.

"You know," Joseph began. "I'm writing an essay that correlates playing sports like football and so on with the decline of brain cells and brain damage. You should read it some time, you'd like it."

That comment must have struck a chord within Mr. Asshat, because the next thing Joseph saw was stars. Struck by Asshat's fist, he fell to the ground in a daze.

Joe took a moment to shake the stars out of his vision as he picked himself up and brushed himself off, ready to ignore Mr. Asshat and get on with his day. He wasn't about to pick a fight with someone that could out punch him.

As soon as Joe got up, he saw the bully rear back with his fist and thrust his fist at Joseph's face. He ducked out of the way just in time to hear a sickening crack on the metal of the locker behind him, followed by a howl of pain.

"M-my hand! My hand is broken!" exclaimed Mr. Asshat as he bent over, cradling his hand.

"Your own fault, num-nutz. I'm sure you've heard of the adage 'You are what you eat'? That would explain why you're the biggest dick around. Now leave me alone, I've got class. Oh yeah, go see the nurse and get some ice on that. You're going to need a cast."

Joe walked away while Asshat was still writhing in pain about his hand. He found it very amusing how some people would act all high and mighty then wimp out when something happens to them. He went to the nearest mens room to check the damage on his face, and other than what would become a black eye and a small cut just under his eye from where Asshat's thumbnail had caught him, he'd be alright.

Joseph was half an hour into his next class when someone knocked on the door. The professor was handed a note, and just simply told Joe to go to the Deans office. Figuring it was what happened forty-five minutes ago, he'd be in and out in five minutes when he explained what happened. But he was new here, and the Dean would likely give the students that have been there the longest more credibility because he 'knew' them longer.

So for insurance, he made a pit stop at his locker and took out the half a bag of weed he managed to procure from his room mate, hiding the joint he already rolled inside his pen by unscrewing it and removing the ink, screwing it back together. Joe then stuffed the baggie through the slits in his attacker's locker.

He knocked on the frosted glass pane of the door leading into the Dean's office. "Come in," was the response.

He entered, seeing Mr. Asshat sitting in one of the seats with arm in a sling and ice on his hand. Joe sat down in the vacant chair.

"Joseph Merrick," the Dean greeted. "Care to tell me why Michael claims you broke his hand?"

That question caught Joe off guard. He had to do a double take. "I'm sorry, what?"

"Why have I got another student, in my office, claiming that you broke their hand? This kind of thing is grounds for expulsion, and I'd hate to have to do that. You're a smart kid Joseph, you've got a bright future ahead of you."

"I didn't break his hand. He hit me, as you can see by the cut on my face and the bruise. I just ducked out the way before he had the chance to turn my jaw into powdered bone, and he broke his hand by punching the wall."

The Dean's gaze turned to Michael. "You told me that Joseph broke your hand by twisting it."

"He did! He must have been reading about something that told him how to do it, because the next thing I know is he's bumping into me every chance he gets, then today I find my wallet missing, and I figured that Joe lifted it from my back pocket after he bumped into me. He twisted my arm and told me to fuck off when I asked for it back!"

The Dean's head mechanically turned to look at Joseph.

"Think about what he said for a second. His hand is broken but he said I twisted his arm."

"Now he's trying to nitpick at what I say to discredit me!"

"Look at this," Joe said, gesturing up and down himself with a hand. "He's got fifty pounds on me. How could I get the jump on Michael when he plays sports and thus could easily overpower someone like me? Lets think about this for a moment. How many times have I been in trouble here, strictly speaking?"

The Dean shrugged as he tried to recall. "Nothing that comes to mind. Either you're good at hiding what you get up to"–he said with a slight smirk–"or you just aren't one for trouble."

"Ok, now how many times has Michael been in trouble?"

Joseph could tell by the look on the Dean's face that he struck a chord within him.

"Actually, there's been a few incidents over the years where you've been in here for starting fights, Michael. But I've swept them under the rug for the sake of your football scholarship. If what Joseph is getting at is true, then you're trying to place blame elsewhere to save your own bacon. So tell me, what really happened?

Joe looked on at the sight of the Dean giving Michael the third degree. He felt rather satisfied with himself, seeing Michael look down and away, clutching at his hand as the ice dripped from the sling and onto his lap, drip by drip as deafening silence filled the room, wondering what Michael would say.

"Consider yourself suspended until further notice. This is going on record, as is all the other times you've been in trouble." Michael looked up at the Dean fearfully. "Oh yes, I might have swept them under the rug but I still kept a record of what happened in your file. Go back to the nurses office and wait for the ambulance. I'll be phoning home when I'm done talking to Joseph."

A grim spread onto Joe’s face. Since Michael has a bung hand, he’s probably have to get one of the professors to help him clear the locker, that or the Dean would help. Either way, Joe wouldn’t need to mention the baggie he put in Mike’s locker. Having it found by other means only adds further insurance to Joe’s wanting to get rid of him.

Defeatedly, Michael got up from the chair, head hung as he used his good hand to open the door, letting it swing closed of its own accord. It hung slightly ajar, but nothing else said was of any importance from this point forward so the Dean didn't bother to completely close it.

"Sorry about that, Joseph. It seems I was playing favourites.”

"That's something I've never understood: it's just an extracurricular activity. Like the chess club, how the art department sometimes paints murals on the school walls. Why does football and sports get glorified while the others are left in the shadows?"

The Dean just heaved a slight chuckle. "I don't even know. You should be able to finish class if you hurry back."

"See you later, then." Joe gave the Dean a curt, farewell wave as he left the office and turned down the hallway to go back to class. He was glad that making the Dean actually evaluate things rather than just did what he normally did, saved his ass.

Joseph made his way back to class to catch the last fifteen minutes of the lecture. They were covering Greek Gods; researching the Gods themselves, their home, the Titans etc. The titans were a curious bunch by themselves. The students were asked to name what gods they could. A lot of them said Zeus, King of Olympus and God of Thunder. Joseph said Chronos was the God of Time, but someone piped up that Chronos, Atlas, and so forth were Titans. Joseph remarked they were Proto-Gods, they they spawned several of the Gods of Olympus before they turned and cast the Titans out, ruling Olympus for themselves.

The professor asked a question that caught everyone off guard: "How do you kill a Greek God?"

Joseph wasn't much of a video game nerd, but he did remember one particular series of games. "A blade either dipped in, or forged in ichor," was his answer.

The professor only smirked. "And you know this how? Books with that kind of information are few and far between; rare to find. You won't find much information on how to kill gods in a college textbook."

"If there's anything I like to do, it's read. I remember playing a game where the player's blades were forged in ichor, thus is why they could kill any creature—or monster—he encountered. Be it sirens, harpies, revenants, and so on. Rather, I read it in the game's guidebook."

The professor gestured swept an open palm across the room, saying: "For those that don't know what ichor is, could you please explain what it is?"

"Ichor is the golden, ethereal blood of the gods. Also in medical terminology, a blood-like discharge. But"—Joseph stated before the professor could continue—"the real question is how would a mortal kill a god? Sure, god-made weapons can do the trick, but universal methods aside what other options are there?"

"Good question. Anyone care to answer?"

One fellow a few chairs down looked to be contemplating something given the look on his face. "So, if the blood of the gods can be used against them as a whole, maybe they can be taken out with methods pertaining to their individuality?"

"An equally good answer; both right and wrong at the same time." The professor then pulled out an old, leather bound book wrapped with a string of leather to hold it together. He unwound the strip while Joe looked on with intrigue, the rest of the students mumbling over the strange book. Using a bookmark, the professor opened it to a specific page. "The God of Thunder shan’t be slain but by the wood of a tree struck by one of his bolts, or by a knife carved from a finger of frozen thunder," he read.

One student spoke over the others. "So Big Daddy Zeus zaps a tree and you stab him with it, so what the hell is a 'finger of frozen thunder'?"

“In mythology,” the professor began, “there were specific gem, rocks, and minerals used for certain purposes. Some were used in summoning rituals, while others were used as warding against demons etc. But, as people found out, when lightning struck sand it fused the particles together in the shape of the bolt. Fulgurite is extremely brittle, but it's relatively common to get these days. A lot of Crystal shops use it to make cheap necklaces and to sell as a novelty item.

“After a lightning storm, the fulgurite formed could be at least a foot long in size and up to a couple inches thick. Given the brittle nature of the stone, it was often deliberately broken up into several smaller pieces and given to family and friends by those that found the hunks of the stuff. It was seen as a blessing from the gods themselves, and thus having a piece of the divine magic—lightning—in their homes believed to bring good luck.”

Before the class itself left for lunch break, the professor gave them an assignment: "To research any methods of killing Greek Gods."

Joseph had a good head start. All he needed to do was play through his games again and cross reference any weapons mentioned against real-world historical data to see if it had any basis, or if it was just a contrivance.

With a smirk on his face, Joe headed to the school's library to begin his research.

09| The Fallen

Ambiguous title is ambiguous! Try to figure out what it means.

Picks up where Chapter Seven left off.

All seven of them; Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Fluttershy, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Twilight, and Joseph, made their way back down into the main foyer of the library so Twilight could see her five friends off.

Since Pinkie Pie found out about Joseph, he had at most an hour—as Rainbow Dash had said it had taken her an hour or thereabouts to put together Twilight's party the other day—before he was surrounded by a horde of technicolour horses. They would likely want to ask him more questions than he felt comfortable with, even the dreaded: why he hasn't gotten his 'cutie mark'.

Joe came down behind everyone, and when they all got to the front door he noticed Pinkie had gone missing. She couldn't have double-backed, Joe would have seen her.

"Hey, where did little miss 'I-mainline-caffeine', go?" he asked.

"I beg your pardon?" Rarity gawked upon hearing Joseph.

Sure enough, when they all looked around, Pinkie Pie was nowhere to be seen.

"Countdown has started, dude," Rainbow said, hovering off and slightly above Joseph's right. "You have not even an hour before Pinkie Pie has everything set up back at her place then finds you for the party! Trust me, Pinkie will find you."

"I don't know whether to be excited or terrified," he replied.

"We should get you cleaned up so you're presentable for the party," Rarity said.

"What? I had a shower before I came here. You guys have weird showers by the way."

"Pish posh, you need to be properly groomed!" Rarity enunciated her point by using a hoof to make her mane bounce a couple times. "Even you could look this fabulous!"

Joseph’s muzzle wrinkled at the implication. "You do realize while I may be a girl in body I'm still a guy in mind, right? Ain't nobody groomin' me like I'm some sort of ani— goddamn it..." He winced, rolling his eyes in frustration and brought a hoof up to rub at his temple, thinking how much of a pain it will be to watch his words.

"I-it's really not all bad..." Fluttershy said. "I go to the spa with Rarity every so often. It's nice and relaxing."

"With all ya've been through, y'all could do with a back rub!" beamed Applejack. "I don't like that place as much as muh brother, but sure as sugar the ponies that work there sure can get the knots out of muh legs and back after a hard day of buckin' the apple trees."

'When was the last time I had a massage anyway?' Given the emasculating aspect of being groomed, the thought of a massage did have him intrigued, but it did leave him wondering if there was a word along the lines of 'emasculate' to describe his feeling of being less of a human given his circumstance.

"Aloe and Lotus would simply adore a chance to work with coat colours as rare as yours," Rarity added.

Integrity and self respect aside, he figured he didn't have anything else left to lose. Joe grumbled, rolling his eyes as he said: "Fine. What does it involve, exactly?"

"Rarity usually gets her 'usual' treatment," Fluttershy answered for Rarity. "Hooficure, horn filing, then a sauna followed by a mud bath while we talk about what happened during the week."

‘Holy hell, does she really go there that often?’ The corner of Joseph's nose twitched. "Oh goodie," he sarcastically deadpanned.

"See! I knew you'd think so." Rarity chimed.

Joe mentally face-palmed. He thought he heard a snicker, although he didn't think it was from any of the five around him. "Lead the way, then."

"I-I'll just be going, then. See you girls later."

"Nonsense, Fluttershy! So we might be a couple days early, but it this is an opportune moment for us to converse with our new friend here."

"O-okay..."

"I'll see y'all later, Ah've got to catch up on some buckin'."

"I've got some more studying to do when the Princess sends me some books," Twilight added.

"Yeah, and I've got weather stuff to do!" Rainbow announced.

Minus Twilight, they all filed their way out of the door to the library. Hidden behind her long, flowing mane that fell in front of her face, Fluttershy idly pawed at the ground with a hoof as Rarity said her goodbyes while Joseph waited for them to be gone. Once Applejack and Rainbow Dash were out of sight, he followed behind Rarity and Fluttershy while they talked with each other on the way to the spa.

On the walk, Joe tried to avoid direct eye contact with anyone else, but he couldn't help but look up whenever he thought he heard someone whisper. His paranoia kept getting the better of him, eyes looking around to see if anyone was looking in his direction. A few times he was met with sideways glances, horrified stares, snickers and giggles, as well as a few hooves pointed in his direction. Even some of the little colts and fillies were staring. Whether it be at his lack of a cutie mark or just... Him.

He felt like the new kid at school all over again.

Thrust into this completely alien world, everything was assaulting his senses in a manner not entirely similar to starting a new school.

They didn't know about him or how he got here, but the ones that actually said anything said a cheerful hello in passing. Part of him was happy that they were being polite and friendly, but another part was wanting to slink back into his comfort zone.

Or whatever remained of it.

"Darling, you're too quiet," Rarity said suddenly, knocking Joseph from his stupor.

"Wha-huh?"

"Are you ok?"

He shrugged. "I dunno... Saving my thoughts for the spa, I guess?"

"Ah, don't want to spoil everything just yet, I see," she said with a wink.

It took the good part of ten minutes at a slow pace before the trio came to a tall, two-storied building. It was painted largely with Fuchsia and Cream colours and filigree-style decorations around the door, semi-circular windows jutted out slightly in a manner indicative of a display window adorned either side of the main entrance. The style of the windows did have a certain aesthetic appeal to them that a plain old flat building didn't. When his flatemate’s friend, whom worked at a department store told him that was the purpose of the windows, it would explain why display windows in some stores had that curved style of glass: to give off a "look at me" vibe, and adding a certain emphasis to its display. Given it's a spa, Joe would probably come out looking that way.

They stepped in the door, and immediately two mares zipped out from some saloon-style doors that lead into the back. The rest of the front foyer had several vases of decorative plants adorning the room, and the front desk had a bell on the counter. Aside from the hues of blue and pink with some seats opposite the front desk and a little side table with some magazines decorating the main reception area, there wasn't much else to the room.

"Welcome, Miss Rarity and Fluttershy!” one of them spoke.

“I see you've bought a guest this time!" the other finished.

Joe stared at the pair before him. They looked like photo negatives of each other. One was blue with a pink mane, and one was pink with a blue mane. Both had the same cutie mark, but it didn't help much to distinguish between the two. While their coat and mane colours were reversed–literally the only way to tell them apart, it dawned on Joe that he would still likely get them mixed up. Were they identical or fraternal twins?

"I'm Aloe!"

"I'm Lotus!"

"I don't even... How do I tell you apart?"

"Simple!" the pink-coat, blue-maned one said. "I'm Aloe."

"I'm Lotus," the blue-coat, pink maned mare finished.

"So... A lotus is a flower. By association, flowers can be pink, but you're not," Joe said, pointing at Lotus. "Your sister is pink, like a flower, but her name is Aloe. Gotcha. Totally not confusing."

"Would you like the usual, Miss Rarity?" Lotus said, turning to Rarity.

"Oh, please! Also," Rarity added, out of earshot of Joseph and Fluttershy, “there seems to be a rash of some kind on my back that seems to be aching as of late. You wouldn’t happen to have any cream for something like that would you?”

“I’ll take a look for you in a moment,” Lotus said in reply just as quiet while Aloe still talked.

Aloe turned to look at Joseph. "Don't worry, miss...?"

"Eclipse."

"Eclipse," Aloe repeated. "Don't worry, you're in good hooves. Shall we get started with a horn filing for the lovely ladies..."

'Must... refrain... from... stabbing...' he told himself upon being called a lady.

"...followed by a hooficure?"

The mention of a horn filing this time around made Joe remember the ring keeping his disguise in place, and it dawned on him that getting his horn filed could cause problems. "Uh, Rarity, a moment?"

"Hmm, what is it? You go along and get started with the hooficure, Fluttershy. Eclipse and I won't be a moment." Fluttershy and the twins went into the back through the saloon doors. Rarity turned back to Joe. "Yes?"

Joe loudly cleared his throat.

"What do you need to tell me?"

He first made sure nobody else was in the room, and to clue her in, used a hoof to tap at the ring on the base of his horn, making his disguise flicker once to wordlessly convey his concern.

"Oh!" Rarity exclaimed with wide eyes.

"See, I don't know if they are going to be able to feel Nightmare Moon through the disguise, or if getting their mitts over me would make it fail somehow."

Rarity put a hoof to her chin in thought and looked him up and down. She tapped the tip of Joe's horn, but nothing happened, then she nudged his right front leg. Nothing about his disguise faltered. To his bemusement, Rarity walked up to his side and draped a leg over his upper back and trailed it down.

"Don’t worry, Darling, you feel like a normal pony to me. So long as nothing happens to the ring itself you should be fine."

Joseph sighed, then Rarity lead him through the doors into the back.

The first thing Joseph noticed was the scent of sandalwood incense wafting through the air. The spa had an atmosphere of relaxation with dim lights and soft music playing in the background. He looked around and saw several ponies lost in the experience of pampered care.

“If you could give us a moment,” Aloe said as she smiled and trotted off to tend to a customer.

Joseph nodded in awe of the spa interior as he spoke. “You weren’t exaggerating about this place.”

He looked around, noticing the lush potted plants and tasteful artwork on the walls. Every part of the spacious room had a personal care station custom suited for some form of personalized care or another. From the mud baths to the massage tables, the whole room made a clear statement that you would leave this place feeling like a new pony.

Aloe came back over to Joe and Rarity when she saw them enter. "Let’s join Ms. Fluttershy. She insisted on waiting for you two."

The spa pony lead Rarity and Joe over to three padded tables, one of which Fluttershy was already laying down in. Laid on her side, the butter-yellow pegasus had her hooves slotted in a giant foam... thing. It looked like the slotted pieces of hard foam that nail technicians used on women's fingers to keep the nail polish from splashing back on the rest of the finger, and to hold them apart to allow ample time to dry.

The tables were mounted on a pole and a base to steady them, and a handle of some description jutted out from the pole. There was a small section of the table that was hinged to the bigger part, two semi-circles of metal attached the top to bottom. It looked as though it was designed to fold up for the ponies to have an easier time sitting up. Aloe used a hoof to press the levers on both tables and they dropped several inches. She also adjusted the headboards to a thirty degree angle.

"Hop on and lay back." Joseph tentatively did as he was told. "Let’s begin with a horn filing while your friend has her hooves done," Aloe announced.

"Uh..." Aloe turned to look at Joe. "Can... Can I skip the horn filing?"

"But Ms. Eclipse, it's necessary to remove any excess keratin and bone that have built up. Too much dander build up and it dampens a unicorn's ability to cast magic correctly."

"See, I'm from out of town, and where I'm from, that was usually done by my mother or father, or myself if I had to. I've not had anyone else do it before, so it's a bit of a no-no spot."

Aloe's eyes widened at what she had nearly gotten herself into. "Oh, my apologies! I completely understand!" Aloe lowered the head board, if it could be called that, and went to get one of the large, cuffed foam boards like Fluttershy was using. "Lets just skip to the hooficure then."

Aloe held the piece of foam upright, and Joseph took the hint to put his hooves in the cut-outs, and laid on his side.

As if on queue, a familiar voice made itself known in his head. Well well well, looks like somepony is enjoying themselves.

"Hey, where the hell have you been?" Joseph asked in contempt towards Nightmare on reflex. Only when several sets of eyes turned his way, Fluttershy, Rarity, and Aloe's included, did he realize his mistake. "Uh, I, uhh... Where have you been all my life?" He tried to save himself, but Aloe just raised an eyebrow at his failed attempt. The spa pony simply turned back to her station and picked up a large file.

You'll like this part. I promise.

'With you in my head, gone the last 24 hours—or thereabouts, it leaves me wondering what you have been up to, so I don't trust you on that.'

Aloe came back over to Joseph, and he caught a glimpse of the file. It looked like a bastard file: a tapered slab of metal with crosshatched, diagonal etchings. He remembered using one to sharpen a spear point when he went spearfishing. Finesse in end results was like trying to practice calligraphy by giving markers to five year olds: the result was always a giant mess, but the idea was to get the basic shape.

She ran the face of the file up and down the bottom of the nail of his front right hoof. He felt the uncomfortable vibrations right up his leg, and the corner of his nose curled to reflect his situation.

"Are you alright?" Aloe asked.

Don't mind me, I'm just watching the pretty boy get a hooficure, Nightmare antagonized.

Nightmare knew that Aloe couldn't hear her by any means. She only said it for the entertaining value of Joseph's reaction.

"It's like dragging sandpaper over my fingernails."

"Excuse me?"

"I... Nevermind." He heaved a sigh and let Aloe do her job.

Nightmare didn't say anything more after that, she just watched through Joseph's eyes as the spa pony went about her job. A few minutes later, a noise like scratching nails down a chalkboard, the so-called "Chalkboard Effect", came from Joseph's hoof making him wince.

"Oh dear, it looks like you've got a pebble stuck in there. Let me get it out." Aloe turned her back to Joe and began picking through her... tools? They looked like farm tools to him.

'Women,' Joe mused. 'Always the same. Even in different universes or dimensions. Gotta have a crap-load of things that men never understand, claiming that each one serves a different purpose. You've been in my head, look through my memories at the stuff sold in stores.'

Aloe turned around with a bladed, hooked instrument. While on holiday, he saw a local using one to craft wooden spoons and axe handles from branches. It looked like a regular knife by comparison, but the bladed portion was bent around a curve, used for carving out the bowl of the spoon and curving the axe handle.

The local also said that spoons were just bowls on the end of sticks. Joe was pretty sure his brain shut down after that. He just couldn't look at spoons the same way again.

He shuffled in his place, clearly worried about what the tool was going to be used for.

"Don't worry, Eclipse, I'm just going to remove the pebble. We offer shoe fittings if you'd be interested. It stops stones and things from getting into the nail and causing problems." She put the blade of the tool just forward of where the pebble was, and pulled on it, gouging out a small, shallow channel that lead to the pebble for the ease of access in removal. She put the hook-knife back and returned with a pair of needle-nose tweezers. They looked like pliers above anything.

Carefully, she grasped the pebble and pulled it free, but Joseph grimaced in pain as it came free.

"Sonnova bitch!" he exclaimed through gritted teeth.

"Sorry, it looked like it was closer to the nerve than I thought. Don't worry, I can fill in the hole with a paste that mimics hoof nail until the nail itself grows back out." Aloe put the head of the tube right in the hole and bit down, squeezing the paste into the hole, which she then scraped off the excess with the flat portion of the file's head. "That'll set in a few minutes, but for now lets continue with the others."

Joe glanced up to see Rarity laying on her back, an expression of what looked to be bliss plastered across her face as her hooves and horn got filed by an employee. "How are you finding the treatment?" she asked.

"I don't know how you women put up with this. I usually just took care of what needed to be done. I don't see much point in going over the top about it."

"You're a mare now, and mares always look their best."

"Yeah, that's half the damned problem."

"Darling, language!" Rarity chided. "Must you always be so... blunt?"

To which Joseph replied in Rarity's direction, voice laced with contempt: "When you get stabbed and thrown into a land of technicolour horses in a different body, I wouldn't blame you if you swore until you passed out from lack of oxygen." He snickered at the last part of his comment. "Speaking of, I don't know how Pinkie manages to keep talking so much."

"It's Pinkie Pie, we just let her be."

To get more comfortable, Joseph tried shifting his position. But during Aloe's filing, a piece of skin on the sensitive, fleshy portion of his hoof, snagged on the file and pinched against the nail. He grimaced and said: "Ok, you know what, could we please stop?"

He pulled a hoof from its slot in the foam and began to push the foam itself free from his other legs. It fell to the floor as Aloe reeled back, letting him do so.

"Are you alright? Something I did?"

Awww, does the pretty pony not like pampering? Nightmare antagonized yet again.

"I hope they have duct tape here, because I'm gonna tape that muzzle shut if you don't zip it."

"Joseph!" Rarity exclaimed, her mouth agape. "I, I mean Eclipse," she corrected. "There is no need to speak to the staff like that!"

He was too caught up in telling Nightmare Moon to shut her trap that he yet again forgot that he spoke out loud. "S-sorry..." His ears flattened against his head as Fluttershy, Rarity, Aloe, Lotus, and some ponies a couple tables down, heard him. "I just... I can't be here, I gotta... go."

Head hung, he quickly made his way through the swinging doors and out the front door to avoid as much awkwardness as possible, but that was an inevitability when you had drawn unwanted attention to yourself, then take your leave as all eyes follow you like lasers tracking targets.

Joseph got out the door and turned right immediately out of the door. He saw an alley go down beside the spa and made his way to the rear of the building, presumably safe in the alley. Unlike extremely dodgy and dirty alleys he often passed in the streets on Earth, this alley looked as though it was used more as a thoroughfare between streets rather than a dumping ground for hookers and dead bodies.

"Are you trying to get me in trouble?" he accosted to Nightmare. "Why can't you mind your own business and let me suffer in peace on this stupid planet?!"

Whether or not you like it, Joseph, I'm stuck here with you. You're going to try and make the best of it, and I'm doing the same thing, although with more limitations in what I can do and where I can go.

"Enlighten me. What have you been doing then?"

Tell me, you remember your parent's names, don't you?

"Course I do they're, C—" He tried to complete the sentence, who his mum and dad were. But it was like looking at a piece of paper having erased a word you just wrote. He couldn't remember the names of his parents no matter how hard he tried. "They're C... and P..." every time he tried to recite their names, he always ended on a random letter. "What the hell did you do to me?"

Simple. A mind is like a palace. Filled with rooms and doors. As you grow older, new doors open up for newer memories to fill. When you learn something, it goes in a room. Now, what happens when one of these doors closes? Although if I close the wrong door while in here I could potentially do myself harm.

"Oh you little douchebag! You've been making me forget things!"

I looked through enough of your memories to discern what a 'douchebag' is, and I can say on good authority that one of those gets more use than you do, Nightmare seethed. You would do to be careful in how you talk to me.

"You've just got cabin fever, don't you? It's my mind too, I can also do things to you as well."

Try me, Nightmare said challengingly.

He thought back to the little chat with Twilight and himself discussing Nightmare, how they thought she was a demon.

Joe remembered ways that cultures from Earth had different belief systems, associating different deities and other beings that lived in their own versions of a heaven and hell. There were even special rituals that used different symbols. Some were to let good luck into the house, and others were to keep evil out, trap it, make wishes, summon various creatures, and so on.

Such was the purpose of a Devil's Trap: a five pointed star sitting inside a circle, with a rune in each segment. Once a demon was inside, they couldn't escape it and were rendered powerless so long as the outer circle was intact. The moment it broke by whatever cause, they could get out.

Joseph sat on his haunches and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, focusing on finding Nightmare within his mind. A few moments later, he found himself standing as his human self in his mind, Nightmare standing a couple meters away from him.

A mischievous grin on his face, he pulled a piece of chalk out of his pocket. "Aren't imaginations wonderful? I can think of anything while here and it becomes real. Well, not as real as something from the physical world, but, still." He let go of the chalk and it hovered in mid air.

Everyone wished the final product of something they envisioned would come out exactly as they intended. Take drawing. Joe tried his hand at drawing when in school, but it just never caught on. He had all these wonderful pictures in mind he wanted to draw, but his lack of an artistic ability meant he couldn't get his idea onto paper.

Until now.

Because without that limitation, anything created in his mind would come out exactly as he wanted it. From memory, Joseph began with a circle of a wide girth drawn around Nightmare while she just stared at him and rolled her eyes. Next he drew five straight lines that touched the circle, forming a five pointed star within. In each section of the circle, he drew five runes.

When completed, he took a step back and smugly crossed his arms. "Try getting out of that, Madam Smokey."

Nightmare only gave an irritated "tschk" and casually strolled out of the Devil's Trap, much to the surprise of Joseph. "That won't work against me," she said amusedly.

"But... Twilight said that—"

"What made you think that Twilight, above everypony else—myself especially, would know what I am? I only got banished to Tartarus, I'm not from there. There's one thing that Twilight's book got wrong."

"I'll bite. What, are you, and what did the book get wrong?"

Nightmare strode closer to Joseph, her muzzle millimeters from his ear as she whispered: "Demon's don't need permission to take over a host body. I, on the other hand, did."

Then it dawned on him. When reading up on the occult and the supernatural, he would often find reports online of possession. Cases like the Amityville house or the Borley Rectory were popular. Whether it be ghost or demon, Nightmare was right. Given demons and ghosts were, in a word, dicks, they didn't need permission. They would remain in control of the host until such time as they were exorcised by whatever means.

"You already know, just think, Joseph."

"You can't be a demon of any kind because the Devil's Trap didn't work on you." Nightmare nodded. "You create nightmares." He realized a small tidbit of information. "Did Luna have something to do with you possessing her, because she could enter the Dreamscape?"

Nightmare gave Joseph a sly smile. "Maybe... Although I wouldn't have had to if my brother hadn't locked me out of the dream world after I got banished to Tartarus."

Brother? Dream world? There was only one being that Joseph knew of that had domain over the dream world.

"Your brother..." Joseph had a moment of disbelief at this. "Is—" He barely got the word out of his mouth when he felt himself shake.

"Hey!" A voice echoed through out his mind. "Are you alright?"

Joseph felt himself get pulled from his confrontation with Nightmare Moon, gasping a deep breath as his eyes fluttered open.

He was still in the alley behind the spa, although someone had found him.

"What's the matter, do you need to go to the hospital?"

"What? No. I just... Fell asleep." He looked up at the pony that had found him. He had a white muzzle that looked like he had dunked his face in milk. The rest of his coat was earthen-brown in colour, which lead down to black-furred legs at the knee. On his head was a hat not unlike Applejack's, although there was no cut-out in the brim. Around his barrel was a simple vest with a breast pocket, the chain of a pocket watch hanging from it.

"Ugh, what're you doing here?" Joseph asked as he got to his hooves, using the stranger's leg for support after he offered it.

"Rather than stick to the streets, I often use alleys to go from one place to another because it saves a lot of time. I was passing through here when I found you."

"Using alleys on a regular basis is hella creepy, dude."

"So is falling asleep in them."

"On the contrary, I was hearing voices and stopped in behind here to chat with them so I wouldn't look like a complete muppet to passer by's," Joe said indifferently,

The stranger's expression contorted into one of concern and confusion when he heard Joseph say 'muppet', and mention hearing voices. "What's a muppet? Some kind of toy? And are you sure you're alright, don't need to go to the hospital? Or... Broadhoof, for that matter?"

'...Damn it.' He cursed himself for using Earth colloquialisms. "I say it in the sense of being an idiot, really. What's Broadhoof anyway?"

"Right..." he said with insecurity, mentally shrugging off the issue of the mare's mental stability, refusing to go near it with a ten-foot, bleach-soaked, barge pole. "Well, now I know you're safe I can go do my shopping," he added abruptly. "Name's Cesar, by the way. What's yours?"

No, not like the salad, Nightmare chided. The first thing that flashed through Joseph's mind when he heard the stallion's name was a Cesar Salad, and Nightmare had told him off for it.

'I've told you what'll happen if you keep annoying me like that. Don't make me think of butts like last time.' He heard Nightmare audibly growl with anger in his head, but she didn't say anything further.

"Eclipse," he said after a moment.

"Well then, Eclipse, have a good day and do try to be careful." He punctuated his farewell with a polite, yet curt tip of his hat and exited the alley.

Shaking off the tired sensation from being asleep the last few minutes, Joseph exited the alley and looked left then right to try and spot Cesar, but for some odd reason he seemed to have disappeared quite quickly.

When he looked to his left again, standing muzzle-to-muzzle with Joe was none other than Pinkie Pie.

"Gyah!" he screamed, staggering back and bumping the wall behind him, causing him to fall on his side.

Looking down at him, Pinkie just giggle-snorted. "It's just me, silly!"

"Yeah, remind me to check your arm, or... leg, for track marks."

"What for? Tracks are for walking or running! Oh yeah, party's ready!" the hyperactive mare declared.

Joseph felt a sense of dread wash over him. "Balls..."

Meanwhile, in Golden Oaks Library...

It had been about half an hour after everyone left that Celestia sent Twilight the books she requested: death records and obituaries, and a book titled "Gods and Demons: A reference to all things Tartarus and Heaven ". It wasn't nearly as old as the several tomes containing the aforementioned records, but they, however, were a compilation of old, leather-bound books with yellowing pages that jutted out at varying angles, bulging with various thicknesses

Having unrestricted access to all books in Canterlot; ones that are off limits to the public, forbidden, not in circulation—but could be requested, and even ones that nobody knew existed, meant Celestia had a wealth of knowledge unsurpassable.

Twilight looked up at the pile of records as tall as she was and picked out the oldest one, bringing the reference book closer and flicking it open to the 'Demon' section, using the index to find the oldest ones.

It wasn't as much of a daunting process as Twilight thought by looking at the records stacked as high as she was tall. She got through half the first set of records in half an hour by cross referencing dates ponies had died with the approximations of dates that any demons had popped up. She couldn't read half the names since they were written in a style unreadable; like a foals' scrawl, but she could tell it was more put together than the latter. The dates seemed to be consistent: a number followed by an image of the sun for the Nth day in that month, a number with a crescent moon for the month, then the year was a fifty-fifty image of the sun and moon.

She simply used her magic to copy the writing as best she could by using carbon paper between the pages of the records and her notes to try and decipher for later.

The style of writing looked to be ancient, Twilight guessed. Possibly older than Celestia. By the time Twilight had finished cross-checking names and dates against the demons from the book, none of the demons she had written down next to the names and dates of the deceased ponies matched the capabilities of what Nightmare could do. They were all just your generic, run-of-the-mill demons who got sent to Tartarus.

She put the first set of notes off to the side and began on the second set of records, although this one looked slightly more neater and put together than the last.

By now, Pinkie would have found Joseph for his party. Twilight chuckled to herself, thinking of what he could be possibly going through, remembering when she accidentally poured the hot sauce into her drink instead of the clearer, more aromatic and stronger-tasting liquid she originally intended.

A further half hour later and more cross referencing of demons that didn't match up to Nightmare Moon, as well as the demon section of the reference book, Twilight bookmarked the page of the record book she was in the middle of, she turned to the front half of the book to read up on some of the deities for a change of pace. Her hoof slid up and down the index until she saw something that caught her eye. The index was written alphabetically, listing all kinds of deities and angelic beings.

Not surprisingly, she found "Alicorns" under the "A" section. She wanted to see if it had anything about either Celestia or Luna, but was disappointed when the book only said how they were created.

A pegasus and unicorn of immeasurable power would reproduce, and the excess magic had potential to manifest in both wings and horns of the offspring. So powerful was the magic that it even affected their lifespan. The unicorn and pegasus parent would certainly outlive a normal pony of their own race, given their magical potential, and the same was even more true for an alicorn.

It was still possible for alicorns to reproduce, but with an ordinary unicorn, pegasi, or earth pony, there was an equal, one-in-four chance of what the child would be. The child would possess only a fraction of the alicorn parent's power depending on their race, but that would innately increase the magical affinity of whatever race the pony was born into by comparison to somepony else of the same race. However, if two alicorns reproduced, an alicorn was almost certain to be the product, and the magical capabilities in the offspring would grow a fraction, but the process would take infinitely long to surpass any godly level.

The alicorn would still have wondrous power that any ordinary pony would lust after. Some tribes across the world saw alicorns as abominations: cross-breeding between unicorns, pegasi, and earth ponies was seen as very taboo and more often than not the tribes would believe they needed to keep their bloodlines and lineage "pure". Quite often, two tribe leaders would often try to reconcile differences with one another through forming alliances, to helping each other where needed.

One case, studied over five centuries ago, found a leader of a unicorn tribe and the leader of a tribe of sky-dwelling pegasi in constant argument with one another for contrived reasons. Each tribe's most respected elders suggested that if the two tribes were to get along, then a marriage between the leaders would need to be planned.

Begrudgingly, they went through with it, uniting the tribes for a brief period. Together they had a baby colt. The baby was supposed to mean they could get along, but the offspring was born deformed: with wings and a horn. So disappointed were the parents that they cut off the wings and horn and exiled the stallion when he came of age. Whatever happened to him beyond that is unknown. Whether he be alive or dead, even to this day is unclear. He has wandered for so long that he eventually became a wandering traveler, forever hiding the scars on his body.

For Twilight, she was appalled that somepony would do that to their own child. She felt the urge to hug Celestia and be thankful that her mentor hadn’t suffered the same fate. Twilight knew about alicorns from books, but from the ones she did read growing up, none of them actually mentioned how they were created to begin with.

Twilight flicked back to the index. Like the demon section, anything under each letter was written from the earliest documented date, forward. When the tip of her hoof got halfway down the 'S' section under 'Gods', she saw the word 'Sleep'.

'What gods have the ability to control sleep?' she thought, flipping through the pages until she came to the section that piqued her curiosity.

The God of Sleep, Twilight began reading, gave every creature under creation the ability to sleep soundly. Together with his wife, The Goddess of Relaxation, they had four children. The eldest created the Dreamscape: an ethereal realm within the minds of creatures big and small to dream of things. Next in line was The God of True Dreams, who patrolled and kept dreams as they were supposed to be.

Things went well for the four of them until The Goddess of Relaxation fell pregnant for the third and fourth time, bearing two more sons. The third was the God of Illusory Dreams, and he created dreams where creatures saw what they wanted to.

Twilight saw the next entry in the book, and it sent chills down her spine. Her breath and heart rate quickened, sweating from her discovery. Her hoof trembled as she moved it across the words as she read on, but only four words stuck out at her.

The God of Nightmares.

Author's Note

Giving a nod to Daemon of Decay's Asylum because I mentioned Broadhoof.

10| Party Time

From upstairs, Spike heard a massive crash emanate from the main foyer of the library. He looked up away from his comic, his gaze pointed towards the top of the stairwell.

"Twilight?" he called. "Did another pile of books fall over?"

On hearing no sound nor a reply from Twilight, feeling concerned that something crashed on top of her, Spike got out of his basket, placing the comic face down on his blanket to keep his place as he made his way downstairs.

With a sigh of relief, he saw that no swaying tower of books had fallen over like what had happened innumerable times in the past. On the other hand, there was a tower of stacked books he saw stacked next to Twilight's reading desk. Even though it was face down, one of the books had fallen forward off the stand to the floor: the book Twilight was using to cross-reference demons. Spike picked the book up to try and see what Twilight was looking at last, but as he turned it over the weight of the pages caused them to sag back into the middle of the book, losing the page Twilight was on.

He grumbled at that before he looked over at the front door, seeing a white pegasus stallion with a darker shade of blue for a mane looking over the door from top to bottom. The top and bottom had separated from each other, and the top half bent back on its hinges further than they should. The bottom swung free, though.

"That mare must've been in a hurry," he said casually. "Bent the hinges out of shape. They're gonna need to be replaced," he added.

"Hey, did you see which way Twilight went?"

"Muttered something about a cup of coffee and the spa." The pegasus poked a hoof at the bent hinges. "She must be strong to bend hinges like that; running out a door like a stampeding buffalo."

He dropped the book and ran over to the door and shut the bottom half of it and reached over from outside to lock it from the inside. Next, he told the stallion to step back as he blew a small gust of green fire onto the two bent hinges, turning them red hot as he forced the top door closed. He heated up the metal of the hinges enough for them to be malleable, and shutting the door would ensure they would return to their original shape and would be cool upon his return.

The lock fixed into the door was unique in the way it functioned: it was a normal keyhole, but it had two bolts. One bolt locked the top portion of the door to the frame while the second slid into the bottom half of the door. Even though he locked the bottom from the inside, he would just need to unlock the top and reach over to unlock the bottom. Had he not, then the bottom would swing open.

Spike locked the door as a whole and turned in the direction of the spa and began to run after Twilight.

Twilight was weaving in and out of streets. She had accidentally hit one of the vegetable carts, sending its contents of cabbages spilling onto the dirt as the proprietor of the stand, an earth pony with a green coat, an off-yellow mane, and a cutie mark of a golden circle with a square taken out of it, exclaimed; "My cabbages!"

"Sorry!" Twilight shouted with sincerity over her shoulder, galloping as fast as she could towards the Day Spa. A trip that would normally take five minutes at a canter, ten minutes if you took your time, now took less than a minute as she galloped under the sun as its radiant heat poured down upon the panting mare.

She barged in through the front door and then continued her charge through the swinging, saloon-style doors that lead into the back, standing breathless and sweating in place as over a dozen pairs of eyes stared at her.

"Twilight?" Rarity asked, looking up from the table on which the unicorn was getting massaged, the concern in her voice apparent at how ragged her friend looked. "What happened, are you alright?"

"Joe..." she panted. "Eclipse... Where..."

"She"—Rarity enunciated—"left a while ago, dear. What's all the fuss about?"

"Where did she go? You didn't think to go after him—I mean her—so we don't lose her? It's kind of important since, you know..."

"S-sorry, Twilight..." Fluttershy added, hiding her saddened expression at potentially having let Twilight down behind her mane.

"Why don't you join us, Twilight? You look like you could use a hooficure!"

Twilight groaned in frustration and anger with Joseph on his own, loud enough for all present patrons to hear. Without further explanation, she turned tail and ran the opposite direction, back the way she came. She anxiously trotted on the spot upon exiting the spa, looking left and right to try and see if she might miraculously spot Joseph.

She saw a few ponies walking their way up and down the street and saw a brown, earth-pony stallion with a white muzzle. He sported a hat akin to Applejack's without the cutout, and a vest with a chain hanging out of his pocket. Twilight assumed it to have a watch on the other end. In his mouth he carried a large bag filled with groceries.

"Excuse me?" Twilight hollered as she cantered up to him, the stallion stopping to look at her. "You wouldn't happen to have seen a dark blue mare with an equally dark purple mane exit the spa, or at all by any chance?"

He stopped to put the bag down when Twilight got close. "I didn't see her leave the spa," he answered, "but I did find her sleeping in the alley behind the building."

'Why would he be sleeping?' Twilight asked herself. "Did you see what way she went?"

The stallion shook his head. "Sorry, but after I made sure she was alright I went to finish my shopping."

Twilight looked over her shoulder at the alley. "Thanks for your help." The stallion tipped his hat to her before picking up his shopping, then Twilight went over to the alley.

She stopped just before it, looking it up and down. 'Why did Joseph leave, then sleep behind the alley?' she asked herself rhetorically. Her gaze gravitated towards the entrance of the alley, spying several squares of multicoloured paper on the ground and on the side of the building. Twilight used her magic to levitate these, pulling them closer to her eyes to scrutinize.

'Confetti...' Twilight mused, rolling her eyes. 'Pinkie Pie must have found Joseph and taken him to the party she put together. Would explain why he left the spa but not why he was in the alley. Maybe he tried to hide from Pinkie?' Twilight cracked a smile at the last of her thought.

Peace of mind settled momentarily, but Twilight's mind jarred her back to the reality of the situation.

They had it all wrong. Nightmare wasn't a demon at all, but a god, matter-of-factly. Twilight began walking towards Sugarcube corner. The run to the spa definitely winded her, so she adopted a slower pace for the moment. It let Twilight figure out what to say next when she found Joseph, but it didn't quell the growing, nagging questions pulling at her.

Why or how would a god turn evil? What did it want with Luna? Normally entities associated with godly or angelic being had the notion of white, ethereal energy around them. So why did the God of Nightmares have black, smokey... Evilness? It didn't make any sense to the bookworm.

She would need more books to study.

"Come on, hurry up, silly!" Pinkie chided in her gleeful manner. "Party is waiting on you!"

"Oh, yippee..." Joe sarcastically replied. "I'm not much of a people person—"

"No, we're ponies!"

"—so I want to try and get to know everyone before I get their presence shoved down my throat. You know, it's a thing called personal space."

Pinkie kept bouncing—or hopping, whatever Joe called it. He followed the highly caffeinated pony. His eyes inextricably followed the pony, somehow placing herself into every area of his vision.

With Pinkie perpetually getting within his line of sight, bouncing all over the place, he couldn't help but notice how well toned her legs were. He guessed it was from all the hopping around. His eyes began to wander north...

Would you stop it? Nightmare angrily drawled. It's bad enough I'm in here, but being forced to watch your perversions is another thing altogether.

'Look, I can't help it, alright?' Joe replied in exasperation. 'You wandered off before. Why don't you do that again and give us both some space? Or at least what constitutes the next thing since I'm in your head... Just let me know what you're doing.'

Fine... she agreed with contemptuous unease.

With a roll of his eyes and looking ahead, Joseph couldn't see Pinkie. He stopped on the spot, his head swiveling in all directions to try and locate the mare. 'What in the...? Did she pull one of her vanishing tricks again?'

"Over here!" Pinkie shouted, her voice somehow echoing off every available surface to find its intended target.

"Gyah!" Joe exclaimed when the boom of Pinkie's voice hit him. He went to rub his now-hurting ears.

Joseph looked over to the building Pinkie was exuberantly waving from as she ducked back inside, his jaw hitting the ground. It looked like any other building he had seen so far, but instead of thatched roofing this place looked as though it had had giant cookies as tiles for the roof. White frosting replaced the frame of the roof, and red-and-white candy cane-esque posts held up the awning of the front door, chocolate-coloured and carved support beams helped keep everything aloft.

He wandered up to the candy cane posts and leaned closer to sniff at them. "I hope these aren't actually peppermint..." He looked around cautiously, seeing if anyone was looking his way, and took a quick lick of the post. He quickly spat out the taste and wiped a forehoof over his muzzle. "Bleh. Nope, just regular old paint," he said bitterly.

Joseph turned back to the front door of the store, using a hoof to cautiously nudge it open, a crack of sunlight piercing the veil of black inside. He finished opening the door with a slight squeak, the sunlight streaming in and only illuminating what appeared to be a display cabinet with a cash register at the end of the room.

"What in the hell? I saw her duck in here..." Joe absentmindedly said to himself as he walked in. Two seconds after he finished his sentence, the lights flicked on and an innumerable amount of technicolour pastel creatures jumped out from hiding in places that shouldn't've been physically possible for them to get into as they collectively shouted: "Surprise!"

From the sudden scare, Joseph stumbled backwards far enough to trip over the doorframe and fall, down the two steps that he came up moments before. Pinkie came rushing out the door as Rainbow followed behind her, each with concerned looks on their face.

"Uh, you alright dude?" Rainbow tentatively and sincerely asked.

"If you... ever... scare me like that again..." Joseph began, not finishing his sentence, his point threateningly ambiguous. He got up off the ground and dusted himself of the dirt that collected as Rainbow set herself down on the ground, closing the distance between herself and Joseph.

"Dude, are you alright?" Rainbow asked again, but this time with emphasised concern. "You took a bit of a fall there.”

Joseph replied in a harsh whisper. "I almost had a heart attack from the fright of you all shouting 'surprise'! Although I suppose it wouldn't be like a bad thing..." he added retroactively. Joe gave an appreciative nod towards Rainbow, thankful for how concerned she was being. "Yeah... I should be fine. I hope. Even if I did they're bound to find out about, well, me."

"Heh, yeah... Didn't think about that."

Joseph took a few breaths to calm himself. He went back up to the door as everyone parted to let him in, and he gazed at the inside of the store.

Thick, chocolate-shaped wooden support beams carved into the shape of the aforementioned bars lined the room. The walls themselves had small, short, round tables in front that were each adorned with balloons tied to the feet of the tables to hide the drab colour of the wall behind as cupcakes, drinks, crepes, and a wide variety of treats sat atop them.

The glass display cabinet he saw was empty of whatever it normally contained, but hanging from the rafters were streamers, ribbons, all the while confetti inexplicably coated every surface. However that happened, it would be a nightmare to clean up.

To his left, a small table sat up against the wall. Stacked with over a dozen boxes of varying sizes, wrapped in as many colours as those at the party, each donned with a ribbon tied into a bow that held the wrapping securely in place. He looked to his right to see a much more spacious room, at the end of which was a giant cake at least as half as big as he was.

"So, waddaya think?" Pinkie gleefully asked as she bounced into Joseph's sight.

"So much cake..."

"Well this is the bakery owned by Mr. and Mrs. Cake! I live here and help make all the sweet treats for all of Ponyville for the parties I throw!"

Pinkie went over to a table and snatched up a cupcake, opening her mouth and shoving the entire thing in and seemingly swallowing it whole, much to the horror and bemusement of Joseph.

"I think I'm gonna either develop diabetes or get have an actual heart attack by the time I'm done here..." he said in awe, eyeing up all the tantalisingly delectable treats. Figuring he should at least try and enjoy himself while here to make it look like he was having a good time, he levitated one of the cupcakes over.

This one was iced with blue icing, little tufts of whipped cream holding a rainbow-coloured strip of candy, depicting an arching rainbow in the sky. He took a tentative bite from it, and the flavour was unexpectedly delicious. The icing was the perfect balance between sweetness and flavour, the lightly whipped cream complimenting the light, fluffy texture of the sponge. The rainbow candy was the final kicker. The sugar washed over his tongue as Joseph tasted each individual flavoured color.

He turned to look at Pinkie, his face contorting into one of utter disbelief at how delicious the cupcake was. He still had a mouthful, not wanting to swallow something this good.

"Sweet Mary mother of..." Joe began, stuffing the treat in his mouth to try and take as big of a bite as he could. "You made these?" he asked with all due incredulity and bulging cheeks.

"Yeah, kinda, sorta, not really... The Cakes did most of the work with the baking while I decorated the place! Do you like it? Oh puh-lease tell me you like it!" The hyperactive mare darted forward to gaze at Joe. With her muzzle covered in cream, icing, and crumbs, Pinkie's eyes were inches away from his, the only thing keeping them separated being their touching noses.

He swallowed what he could before giving a sincere answer. "Best cupcake I have ever had!"

"Thanks! Rainbow helped me make them. Let me show you around!" Pinkie declared as she grabbed Joseph's leg, pulling him in the direction of a table of colts and fillies. One was a white unicorn that had a similar mane style as Rarity, but she seemed to be staring off into space as though she was jaded, all the while she idly picked at a cupcake while she rested her head on her hoof. Another was a small colt about three-quarters the size of the white one. He too was white, but had spotted brown patches all over him, most notably his left eye. The third, a yellow earth pony with a cherry-red mane with a darker pink bow that tied her hair up behind her head.

"These cute little guys are from Ponyville Elementary," Pinkie said as she gestured to each of them in turn. "Eclipse, this is: Sweetie Belle; Rarity's sister, Pipsqueak, and Apple Bloom; sister to Applejack!"

"'Allo 'Allo!" Pipsqueak said, giving a welcome salute. He spoke with a British accent, much to Joseph's amazement.

"Dude, how are you speaking with a British accent?"

"I'm from Trottingham!" he declared.

"You mean like Nottingham?"

"No ma'am, Trottingham, Norh-West of Ponyville ma'am! What's British anyway? Is that where you're from?"

"As a matter of fact, yes it is!" Joseph said half truthfully.

"Ah’ve never heard of that place,” Apple Bloom asked with a raised eyebrow. “Where is it, then?" She took a bite of her cupcake as she stared at Joseph waiting for an answer, all the while Sweetie Belle kept picking at her cupcake and putting the larger chunks in her mouth and disregarding smaller ones.

Joe's eyes kept darting to Sweetie. She was at a party, but he couldn't figure out why she wasn't being more sociable like the rest of the ponies around him.

"Well, aren't you a smart filly," Joe said condescendingly, tousling her hair with a hoof. "But I'm not going to lie to you." He nodded at Sweetie Belle. "What's eating her?"

"No, she's eating the cupcake, silly!"

Joseph, Apple Bloom, and Pipsqueak shot an errant look at Pinkie, Joe turning back to the conversation at hand.

"Ah'm not sure. Been a bit mopey for a couple weeks after she went missin' one day."

Joe levitated another cupcake over and sat down with the three school kids, intrigued by Apple Bloom's statement. "What happened?" he asked, taking a generous bite from the treat.

"Well, after school let out for the day, we all went home. Sweetie didn't go back to the boutique where she lives with Rarity, so Rarity came to the farm looking for her. Figured we'd be studyin' or something," she finished with a giggle and a smirk.

"I remember!" Pip interjected. "Rarity told Miss Cherilee Sweetie didn't come home, and told the ones that stayed after school to keep an eye out for her!" Applebloom nodded in confirmation at this as Joseph listened on. "We don't know where she was, but a couple hours later she wandered out of the Everfree Forest near Fluttershy's cottage."

"Rarity was in the middle of asking Fluttershy if she had seen Sweetie, and then she walked into the front yard of the cottage as Rarity was leaving. She didn't tell us where she went or why, but we got her back," Apple Bloom finished with a grateful smile aimed at Sweetie.

Joe raised an eyebrow at how indifferent Sweetie was being, not even saying anything. "So where'd you go when you disappeared?"

"The forest," she answered abruptly.

Joe pressed on. "Ok, do you remember what you did in the forrest?"

"I don't remember what I had for breakfast today," Sweetie deadpanned.

If she still remembers where she went, try asking her that, Nightmare said.

'Lets try that, then.' "Could you take me where you went to?"

Sweetie stopped shoving chunks from the now-destroyed cupcake into her mouth, eyes darting to Joseph as she stared wide-eyed for several seconds. She didn't move, but after a moment she finally spoke.

"I can take you there!" she beamed, hopping down from the table.

Joe gave a smug grin at Apple Bloom. "Did you think to ask that?"

"No..." she replied sheepishly.

Neither did you, Nightmare seethed, Joe just laughing inwardly. "Can Ah come with ya?"

"No," Sweetie said forcefully. "I mean... Heh, I need to get some fresh air. You and Pip have fun while I show Eclipse, alright?"

"Alright..." Apple Bloom replied dejectedly as Joseph finished off his cupcake.

Joe looked around for Pinkie, but she seemed to have gone somewhere else. "Where's Pinkie?" he asked. He turned to look in the other direction.

"Here I am!" Pinkie declared, appearing out of nowhere on cue.

Joe stammered on the spot. "Freaking... How do you keep doing that?

"Doing what? You wanted me, so here I am, silly!"

Joe remembered what Rarity said to him at the spa. 'It's Pinkie Pie, we just let her be.' Rather than give himself a headache trying to figure it out, he let it slide. "Sweetie Belle is going to show me something. I'll be back soon, alright? Keep the party running."

"Okie dokie loki!"

“Hey dude,” Rainbow spoke up as she saw him turning to leave with the little filly. “I’m going to come with you. If something happens, Twilight is going to want to know about it so she can tell Celestia.”

“You sure you don’t want to stay for the party? I shouldn’t be more than twenty minutes or so.”

“I wasn’t asking,” Rainbow replied with a stern gaze. "Somepony’s gotta keep an eye on you where they can. That goes for you too, Sweetie Belle.”

With a frustrated huff, Sweetie lead the way out the doors and down the street.

Joseph followed the small filly as the streets got wider, eventually leading to the outskirts of town where a few smaller cottages dotted the treelines. They followed one of the dirt paths to just before a cottage and Sweetie detoured off to the right, taking them to the treeline as Joseph stopped before the looming forest, looking back-and-up at Rainbow with uncertainty.

"What are you waiting for?" she called back, jumping into the underbrush and disappearing. Her voice sounded from the bushes as she spoke. "Come on, it's a surprise!"

With a raised eyebrow, they both followed the sound of the rustling bushes as they stepped into the foliage. Joseph had a hard time parting the thick brush to allow himself to get through, whereas Rainbow flew up higher to avoid a lot of the foliage. But, using his magic, he managed to part the bushes enough like he would have done with his hands to get through.

The sound of Sweetie's rustling grew increasingly distant as Joe called out to her. "Hey, wait up!" He tried to hurry, but his next step was poorly timed. His hoof clipped a branch that had fallen on the ground and fell face first over it. With a grunt and moan, he rolled onto his side and went to pick himself up.

Sunlight streamed in through the canopy of the trees, a stray beam of light hit him in the face as the trees swayed in the wind. He was about to pick himself up when he swore he saw something dart from one tree to another, a black mass silhouetted against whatever sunlight made it through.

His head darted around to try and see what it was. "Hello?" he called. "Anyone there?" It was a bit of a silly thing to say, but it was force of habit out of anything.

From somewhere, he heard a strange hissing. He looked up and around all the gnarled trees, trying to discern the source of the noise. Out of all the dark trees, two blue glowing orbs stuck out at him. He blinked to make sure they were real, and a moment later they blinked back at him.

In the blink of an eye, he was met with a black figure jumping on him. His vision filled with a green haze as he felt his strength get drained from him as he passed out.

Author's Note

Sorry this one took two months to get out, the final draft of this was really really bad. It was completed a week after the release of the last one but the editing and proofing took this long to get done, much to my chagrin. My invaluable go-to proofers etc were preoccupied with exams and whatever else, so I can't blame them. Ended up axing about 400 words too.

11| Mother Dearest

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

Joseph had woken with hangovers and headaches in the past, but nothing could prepare him for this pain screaming throughout his head. He began to regain consciousness, although the jackhammer pounding away at his skull wasn't doing him any favours. He tried moving his limbs, but to no avail. The thing that struck him as odd was his complete lack of ability to move at all, save his head and neck. He pulled and tugged at his muscles, but he couldn't move anything below his neck. It was like he was buried up to his neck in concrete.

"Ughh..." he moaned from his aching everything. "What happened?" He opened his eyes, but there was nothing to be seen. The area was shrouded in a veil of the blackest ink. He rolled his neck to relieve the stress which earned him a couple pops of the vertebrae, like cracking knuckles.

He took a moment to try and assess his situation. 'So I'm god-only-knows-where, in a room more black that a burnt pot of onions, with a leaky pipe that's beginning to piss me off...'

For every drip that fell, his equine ears twitched in annoyance. ’Hey, Nightmare, you up there?'

He waited several seconds, but there was no reply.

'Yoohoo, anyone up there? I could really use your help right about now.'

Still nothing.

'Answer me you living cloud of soot! What are you doing in my head, having an imaginary Siesta?'

He tried waiting several minutes for a reply, or at least something in return, but ultimately nothing came.

With nothing else to do, he could only begrudgingly accept his position for as long as he could before a thought occurred to him. Joseph closed his eyes—which was redundant, yes, but eliminating certain senses heightens others. He tried his best to ignore the headache, which wasn't easy due to a lack of water or food to abate it.

He took a deep, calming breath, letting his ears do the work for him. He figured that since he was a magical creature with magic, and not knowing how long he would be here, thought it a better and more constructive use of his time to try and figure out a way he could use magic, if at all.

He recalled Twilight saying she would teach him magic, but ultimately never got the chance to. And now was just as good a time as any. But... He had no idea how to even begin! He grumbled in frustration at this and just elected to listen.

Apart from the constant dripping, Joseph heard a squelchy noise come from somewhere off to his left. He turned his head in the direction to give it more attention. Several seconds later he heard a more drawn out squelch. His brow furrowed in concentration and his ears pivoted towards the source in full concentration.

Squelch.

Squuueeelllcchhh.

The second instance of the noise sounded like whatever was making the noise, was... moving?

'If the first few times were footsteps being planted, then maybe the last was one being lifted?'

Squuueeelllcchhh.

"Who's there?" he commanded. "I can hear you!"

Having been found out, there were several more unabated squelchy steps before the figure hidden by the inky veil, disregarding any sense of stealth or surprise it thought it had, stopped in front of Joseph.

He could feel its terrifying presence in front of him, then in that moment felt an unnervingly cold breath of air exhaled from a nose hit him across his muzzle, causing him to turn his face in repulsion.

He felt something touch his forehead, at the base of his horn, and the jackhammer inside his head went into overdrive.

Thousands of thoughts and countless precious memories; all flooded through his mind like a thousand movie reels playing at once. He screamed in pain, eyes involuntarily opening and widening to reflect his pain where movement failed. He felt his face contort in ways he didn't think possible out of the pain radiating throughout his head.

Then, in the instant the touch against his forehead left, he passed out yet again, head slumped forward.

Joseph wasn't sure how much more time had passed before he woke up this time around. But, unlike last time, his eyes opened to light. Hazy green was all he could see at the moment.

At some point, his head had rolled off to the side while passed out, and he felt a trail of moisture running down his cheek and neck. Joseph tried to pick his head up, but his neck muscles had temporarily become too weak from being in one position for an unknown amount of time to properly support anything, and his head immediately dropped in the opposite direction. This position, however, yielded a hazy black figure silhouetted against more green.

Each being stared at each other for what felt like an eternity. His eyes began to clear momentarily and the figure before him slowly became more apparent.

Its horn, a twisted, crooked root, sprouted from the forehead. Sitting atop its head, poking out of the oily, grey-and-turquoise mane was what could be described as a fin that resembled a crown, with four lit, light-producing nodes that were illuminating the room. Its skin, if it could be called that, was not reminiscent of anything he'd met in his three days on this world.

It bore a striking resemblance of reptilian skin, although more solid and not pliable. There were sections of it that nestled neatly together like puzzle pieces. The neck had the appearance of armoured plating; downward pointing plates overlapping each other. It looked to be an amalgam of tree-like appendages, the basic shape of an equine in Joseph's previous encounters, with hairless skin that seemed to interlock like plate armour or insect shells would.

Its face seemed regal, like that of Luna or Celestia, but gone was the calm visage; instead being replaced by the kindest of threatening stares that would make the most strong-willed of people think twice about crossing. It stared at Joseph some more, and Joseph stared at it until it spoke two words; two words emphasised with genuine confusion and puzzlement about him.

"Who are you?" The voice sounded arguably like someone was speaking through a voice box filtered by a vacuum cleaner. "You taste..." It smacked its lips together as if to sample a morsel of food. "...familiar, somehow."

"Gyuh?" Joseph dumbly muttered, his new head still trying to sort itself out.

Joseph managed to elevate his head slightly to see what this thing was pointing at. The colour which filled his vision was found to be a gel-like, gelatinous substance coating every available surface like honeycomb in a hive. Only instead of hexagonal combs in which honey was stored, pods, or chrysalis' –like that of a monarch butterfly–were pasted to a wall by the same gloop they were made of. In each pod there was a pony, with over a dozen in the little room.

Joseph recognised one of them the second he laid eyes on it.

"Sweetie Belle!" he exclaimed. His eyes shot to the creature. "What did you do to her!?"

"She is fine," it said dismissively. "But you... You have the body of a normal alicorn pony, but yet you have two souls! One is very much dark and powerful, but the other is nothing unlike I’ve seen since I’ve been alive. The body of one of those ponies but with two souls claiming home: one dark and very powerful, and one I've never experienced before. You're the most interesting thing I have ever seen. Or rather, the most delicious I’ve snacked upon."

"Ugh, do I even want to know?"

"We eat memories and emotions mostly," it said apathetically. "They give us our energy, but we also eat regular food to sustain ourselves."

"What are you talking about?" Joseph asked in confusion. "You look like a twisted deformity born of a tree and one of those ridiculous ponies. What's your name? Harold? Do you have a friend whom you call Bob?"

The creature gave a fierce hiss and snarl, striking Joseph across the muzzle with one of its forelimbs, earning him a short gash across the corner of his mouth. "I am not someone you can talk to contemptuously! I am a Queen; you shall address me in such a manner!" The self-proclaimed "Queen" magically grasped Joseph's horn and yanked it back to stare into his eyes from above as she looked down on him. "Now tell me," she seethed, "who exactly are you?"

Wincing from the grasp against his horn and cut on his muzzle, Joseph had no choice but to answer. "Just when I got used to everything it got flipped upside down. So now I'd like to take a minute, so just sit right there. Let me tell you how I became a girl and an evil mare."

"Enough games!" she roared. Joseph's eyes widened with genuine fear.

He wisely decided to play it safe for now.

"I honestly don't know how to answer that!" Joseph pleaded. "One minute I was walking down the street, the next thing I know I'm waking up in the body that belongs to someone these 'ponies' are calling 'Nightmare Moon'!"

The queen released Joe's horn and turned her back to him, sitting down and looking over one of its legs like a manicurist would a hand. "Ah yes. I've heard the legends surrounding her. I'm not as old as I appear, at least not old enough to have been around when Nightmare Moon tried staking a claim to Equestria." She looked over her shoulder and spoke with genuine curiosity. "But that doesn't explain why I sense two entities inside your head."

"I have no idea either," Joe relented. "What happened was I was helping a woman in distress when the man that was attacking her, turned on me after I pulled her away from him. He caught me with his knife, bing bang boom, here I am."

The queen just gave a contemplative "Hmmm". "You share the same mind I'm assuming?" Joseph nodded, then the queen just started laughing cynically at Joseph's expense. "Nightmare used ancient magic..."

"I know it was a spell, but I don't see how old it was making any difference."

"It's simple. Nightmare used a spell to bring you here from your world. She was dying and needed a soul to power the vessel she was possessing. Or at least recharge hers..."

"Yeah, I've already established that with Twilight. What are you getting at?"

"Just... Putting it out in the open." Her expression suddenly become dour as she turned and marched back at Joseph. "You still haven't answered my other question: why are your memories so familiar to me?"

"How the hell am I supposed to know!?" Joseph exclaimed defensively. "Apparently you're the memory expert, so you should know!" he seethed.

"Nga 'eveng..." the queen replied exasperatedly. "You're like a hatched drone making noise; don't know what to do."

Joseph rolled his eyes in response and said, "Well when you get ripped from your world then I think I can do as much complaining as damn well please!" He paused and gave the queen a cheeky grin. "I can't move, my leg is cramping, I'm hung—mmmhpph!" The queen picked up a glob of the green gel in her magic and slathered it over his mouth, letting a sigh of relief wash over her.

"Pardon me for not introducing myself. I am Queen Chrysalis of the Changelings. This room is, how shall I say, a sort of temporary holding cell. Your friend over there has not been harmed, rather she is in an induced coma. You might be wondering about the Sweetie that captured you for me." Chrysalis went over to Sweetie's pod so she could look between it and Joseph.

"Simply put; we can shape-shift. Sometimes physical, sometimes an illusion. What you saw was one of my drones impersonating this filly. Capture a pony, replace them with a drone. Feed off the pony until it's an empty shell then put it into a conversion pod. When all that's done, I pull my operative drone, leaving the pony to disappear. Well, they've been missing for weeks but it's more a case of muddying details to throw the ponies off my trail." Chrysalis demonstrated this shape-shifting ability by enveloping her form in green fire. When it died down, in her place was an exact copy of Sweetie Belle.

Joseph just regarded Chrysalis with an evil glower. They both knew that if Joseph got out, he would repeat everything that Chrysalis was telling him to Celestia, Luna, and Twilight, but she had a contingency plan for that.

"Oh and don't worry about the second entity in your head," she began to say in Sweetie's voice before shifting back to her initial form. "They were being troublesome while I was poking around so I locked them away somewhere in your head. They will be freed when you leave. In other words, when I let you go. Although 'finding' each other might prove difficult."

Chrysalis' horn lit up with an oily aura and the sludge smeared across Joseph's mouth simply dripped away to the floor, the splat not easy to ignore. "And why are you telling me this? You should know that—"

"—every villain's plans fail or get turned against them when they reveal themselves to their rival, loosely speaking in this instance."

"How did you..."

Chrysalis tapped her horn with her hoof, if gnarled branches shaped into hooves could be called that. "Memory and emotions, remember? If you’ve seen it I can find it. From the disproportionate amount of aptly named, 'motion pictures' your brain has recorded, anyone with sufficient magic to traverse memories will find everything."

A sly smirk spread across Joseph's face. "So... What else did you find, hmm?"

The corner of Chrysalis' nose curled in disgust and she turned to leave. "I will be back shortly. My consorts need attending to, and my drones need feeding."

As she turned to leave, the glow of the bioluminescent bulbs adorning the fin-crown dimmed slightly, and when she rounded the corner of the entrance to the so-called prison they switched off completely, leaving the male mare alone in darkness.

Author's Note

Hope you fellas don't mind a slightly shorter chapter.

Also, I've been wondering. Should I include illustrations where appropriate? Would including the picture I referenced when describing Chrysalis be pointless/redundant, or would it be good to see the actual picture too? Sometimes it's cool to see how someone interprets the description of a picture.

What do you think?

12| With Fire!

Joseph woke to the chirping of birds in the early morning and the smell of pancakes wafting through his nose. Sunlight peeked through the curtains of the guestroom of Golden Oaks as his eyes weakly opened to see the room doused in ambient golden light.

He picked up his head and cracked an eye to glance at his surroundings. He glanced down at the bedsheets which covered him, seeing what could have been construed as his human body, but moving his legs to curl up to get warm quickly dashed the hopes about having dreams, and heaved an exasperated sigh with the following disappointment. He'd already spent nearly a week in this land but he was still having trouble adjusting to his surroundings.

Joseph spied a glass next to a pitcher of water on his nightstand and leisurely levitated the jug as if he was holding the handle to pour a liberal measure of water. He wondered what would happen to people's waistlines on Earth if they had these kinds of capabilities.

He got half way through drinking the glass before a knock came from the door.

"Who is it?" he asked, voice raspy from a still slightly parched throat.

"Twilight," came the strangely sullen reply. "Spike's making breakfast. Come down when you're ready and we'll eat."

Joseph didn't get out a response before Twilight walked off. 'What was that about?'

He finished the glass of water and poured another, eagerly downing that one too. His head fell back to the pillow with a satisfied sigh and he looked down at the bedspread covering him.

Joseph threw the blanket off to get up, and was startled to see Nightmare Moon's black fur instead of the blue from his disguise. He became confused, wondering where the disguise ring could be. He looked to the night stand, but it wasn't on there. He pulled out the drawer of the nightstand to look inside, but that only yielded a toothbrush, tube of toothpaste, a hair brush, and what looked to be a bastard file that reminded Joseph of his trip to the spa.

Figuring they were items given to Joseph for making himself presentable, he decided to forego doing that, instead closing the drawer and getting out of bed, stretching and popping various joints to limber up.

He wondered why the brush was there, given the current ethereal state of his mane and tail as opposed to the arguably 'normal' hair version. He had to admit it was cool, and at the same time, calming to watch. Joe gave one last cursory glance around the small room to see if the disguise ring had fallen off and onto the floor, or was somewhere he couldn't immediately see a moment ago, but alas, no ring.

He exited the room with questions on his mind and made his way downstairs.

He saw Twilight and Spike sitting at the table silently eating breakfast, only briefly looking up at Joseph when he reached the bottom of the stairs before returning to their meals. The ‘dings’ of their knives and forks against each other as well as on the plates only added to the ambient uneasiness.

"Everything alright?" Joseph asked sincerely. "I kinda woke up without the disguise and don't know where the ring is," he finished sheepily.

Twilight closed her eyes in concentration as her horn lit up. A few seconds passed as the magical whizzing gave way to a loud pop as a ring materialised in mid-air and deposited on the table with a 'clink'.

Joseph walked over to the table with a smile and picked it up. "Where was it?"

Twilight just gave an indifferent shrug. "I tagged it with a spell in case you might lose it. Wherever it might be, I can simply recall it back."

"Still doesn't answer my question."

"I don't know where it was," Twilight replied with the slightest hint of annoyance, Joseph taken aback by this. "The locator spell is designed to recall objects if one were to lose them; not to find out where they precisely were."

"Ok," Joseph said immediately after Twilight finished, "what's got you in a sour mood? And why aren't you surprised to see me like this?" Joseph gestured up and down his black form with a hoof.

"Do you really not remember?" Twilight genuinely asked.

"Remember what?" Joseph questioned.

"What you did at the party."

"Can we not have an ambiguous back-and-forth right now, please."

"You turned the place upside down, and ate the entire cake!" Twilight abruptly exclaimed.

There was a moment of tense silence as Joseph let that sink in. "Uhm, that part where you said 'I ate the entire cake'... Do I even want to know? And elaborate with the bakery part, too."

"When you got back with Rainbow and Sweetie from the edge of the Everfree, you walked right back into Sugarcube Corner, took one look at everything that was laid out, then without any inhibitions, flipped tables, pulled decorations down, destroyed the pinata and other games, and everything else Pinkie and the Cakes helped plan, then you turned your focus to the entire five-tier cake that was supposed to have been for everypony, and ate it!" Joseph's head lowered to look at his stomach, then back up to Twilight with disbelief. "Even Pinkie was shocked!"

"I take it I'm in trouble?" he asked sheepishly.

"We're trying to paint you in a good light, Joseph, so that when Nightmare Moon gets brought into the public light—and that's going to happen at some point, we just don't know when or how—ponies won't have too many reasons to not like you! This sort of thing takes time and patience to do, and one wayward bad act and one twitchy mob is all it takes for them to grab their torches and pitchforks!

"If you do this again, nevermind that you did it the first time, you undermine our efforts to help you and put yourself in jeopardy. None of us want Celestia's hoof to be forced into doing something unnecessary to appease the public's erroneously placed panic."

Twilight finished her mini-rant, letting silence permeate the air. Joseph stood before the table, looking at Twilight in confusion. He didn't remember doing any of that. The last thing he remembered was talking to the colts and fillies at the party, then waking up this morning.

"I don't know what you want me to say. Take it with a grain of salt if you must, but I honestly don't remember any of it. What happened after that?" Maybe it would shed some light on how he got from there to here.

Twilight let out a frustrated sigh and massaged the sides of her head, thinking about her reply. "You casually strolled through town until you came back here, where you proceeded to take an hour long shower, and then you got into bed and slept until I knocked this morning."

'So why don't I remember any of it?' "Any theories as to why I'm drawing blanks here?"

"Not unless Nightmare Moon is somehow involved with making you lose your memories."

The corner of Joseph's nose turned up with a snarl. Twilight noticed this with a surprised look. "Something wrong?" she asked.

"Kind of. A while ago I was antagonising Nightmare Moon and she sorta made me forget the names of my parents from Earth."

Twilight's jaw hung agape. "If she's responsible for this lapse, then we need to figure something out–and fast!" she declared.

The drake, who'd been patiently sitting off to the side and eating his meal while they filled in Joe's memory lapse, subtly cleared his throat before asking; "Want some breakfast?" Thankfully, this small interruption broke the tension in the air.

"That would be great," Joe replied with a relieved smile.

"Great! How do you like your pancakes?"

'Normally with bacon...' he mentally grumbled. "However you two were having them will be fine."

Spike nodded in conformation and turned to the stove to plate up the meal as Joe and Twilight continued talking.

"So I apparently ate a giant cake. Big deal. It's not like there's going to be any kind of apocalypse due to a lack of giant cakes. Sorry about ruining everything else, though."

"There's going to be a what?!" a voice screamed out of nowhere. A certain pink mare galloped into the kitchen, standing with an abrupt halt in the doorframe, panting as if she'd run a marathon. "Oh, hiya Josey!" Pinkie sing-songed upon seeing Joe.

"Never call me 'Josey' again," he deadpanned. "And I said there is not going to be an apocalypse because of a lack of cakes, so you've nothing to worry about. Besides, what's the worse that would happen?" Spike brought Joe's plate around to his place and set it down in front of him. He picked up the knife and fork laid out and began to eat.

Pinkie scoffed dismissively at Joseph's statement. "Of course nothing bad is going to happen; there's always going to be plenty of ingredients! It's not like we would have to eat each other," she snickered, unnerving Joseph a bit.

"See, even Pinkie agrees!" Joseph facetiously punctuated Pinkie's point by stuffing his mouth with a heap of pancakes. He chewed his mouthful, watching Twilight's amusedly disgusted expression with a smug grin. Joe swallowed the mouthful with a resigned sigh, the delicious pancakes settling. "Yi’know, you still haven't answered my question of why I woke up without the disguise."

"I'm not sure either," Twilight honestly admitted. "You could have taken it off while having a shower and simply lost it, then gone to bed without it on. I don't think it matters, though."

"Well at least you tagged it with your spell. I'd hate to be cooped up here all day without a disguise."

He went to look up to Pinkie to ask her a question, but became extremely confused from the lack of her presence. "What in the... Where did she come from and where did she go?"

"Rarity told me it's just how Pinkie behaves. I'll try find out how she does it later."

"Oh yeah!" Twilight's mention of finding things out reminded Joseph of an offer of Twilight’s. "You said you were going to teach me magic, didn't you?"

"Oh, uhmm..." Twilight clopped her hooves together awkwardly before turning to Spike, who was in the middle of drying the plates. "Spike, what's my morning schedule like?"

"Twilight, today is supposed to be your day off. You know what Celestia said; make some friends! She also meant to have fun too," he added with a smirk.

Joseph kept looking at Twilight with a grin as she grumbled. "Fine," she conceded.

Joe gave an appreciative nod. "Thank you. Hopefully I can learn some cool stuff."

"So," Twilight added bracingly. "Any thoughts on what you would like to learn first?"

He tapped a hoof to chin contemplatively before a thought occured. "Actually, help me understand something." He took off the disguise to let Nightmare Moon's body show and used one of his forelegs to bring the ethereal mane around. "'Splain this; I'm genuinely curious as to how hair floats."

Twilight gave a little snigger before answering. "Magic. What you're holding there is pure magic." Joseph looked at it with disbelief, much to Twilight's amusement. "To elaborate: alicorns like Celestia and Luna, and now yourself, often have enough magic stored within them to replace their normal mane and tails. Think of it as an extension and manifestation of their capabilities. Mostly it's for a display of status and magical strength."

"Pardon?"

"Magic is all around us. It's an invisible, yet at the same time, measurable substance. Comparatively speaking, because ethereal tails and manes are made of tangible magic, they float in the invisible, omnipresent pool of magic that unicorns, pegasi, and earth ponies draw upon to cast spells of varying degrees."

Joseph considered this for a moment before asking, "So I'm assuming there's a way to make it normal?"

Twilight gave a confirmative 'mmhmm'. "But, with that comes one fundamental tool any unicorn needs to grasp the concept of: externalising internal visualisations."

"Like how I told you I manage to levitate things?" he ventured.

"Precisely! Rarity, as an example, is a dressmaker and clothing designer. She has fine tuned her magic and related spells so she can perform both many and miniscular tasks with extreme degrees of accuracy. This practice through practical application tends to be more effective at strengthening one's magical ability."

"Back to the hair, if you could," Joe reminded her.

"Oh, uhm, right. It's best to learn magic meditatively. Try closing your eyes and visualise yourself standing static, with your mane and tail being the focus. Imagine it shrinking back into you, and at the same time being replaced by normal hair."

Joseph steeled himself in his chair, closing his eyes and taking calming breaths.

Inside his head, he formed a mental picture of what he currently looked like, complete with flowing mane and tail.

As if his visualisation was a movie being played out in front of him, the mane and tail both began to shrink into his head and neck, and base of his spine respectively.

Next, locks of silky blue hair began growing to replace its ethereal counterpart.

Content with himself, Joseph's eyes remained closed in the uncertainty that it didn't work.

Twilight watched on as this transpired, but to her, Joseph didn't open his eyes when it was done. "Open your eyes," she coaxed.

Instead, Joseph used both front legs to pat down his head. His eyes shot open when he felt regular hair and not the ever-moving cloud that was. He gasped, pulling at the hair in disbelief.

"I can't believe... Magic, i-it's..."

Twilight was using a hoof to try and hide the giggling at Joseph’s bewildered, aghast expression. “It’s what?” she asked, pressing him for the answer.

“I don’t know how to explain it. It’s surreal, I just can’t believe something like this is real and measureable.” His expression became sombre as he began to reminisce. “When I was growing up, I used to watch cartoons and movies on tv about superheroes performing superhuman feats of bravery.” He paused to pick up the fork with his magic, twirling it like he would with fingers and admiring the motions of the floating piece of cutlery. “Now that I actually have powers I could only have dreamed of… In a way, it’s humbling.”

Part of him still wanted to wake up to discover this had all been a bad dream, and the other part wanted to believe it for all its worth. Yet, despite the latter and being in this land for close to a week, he was still having difficulty processing, well... everything.

He'd witnessed teleportation and other feats of magic, but to actually accomplish something you've only seen done is a different experience altogether.

His thoughts were full of potential spells and tricks he thought about casting to see what would happen, though his concern for unforeseen consequences held him back. ’In due time.’

"In most cases, you have to will things to happen," Twilight began. "You need to put physical and mental effort into the spell you're casting. Try not to overexert yourself though."

Twilight didn't seem to say that last sentence with much conviction so Joseph didn't think she was being too serious about it. Having these capabilities and not knowing how to use them meant he had to ask, just to be careful. "What happens if I do that? Do I just get really tired?"

"Well... Yes and no. Sometimes it's as simple as passing out, and other cases have seen unicorns in comas for days, even weeks in rare cases."

"How do I avoid over-exerting myself then?"

"Like you would with exercise; take it easy. Don't do anything you don't know how to do, nor should you try anything you have doubts about. Baby steps, if you will."

"Ugh!" Joseph sighed melodramatically and mockingly brought a hoof to his forehead. "I am a creature of night and nightmares, and I am being told to take baby steps!" he playfully whined.

Twilight bit her lip and gave a short snort of laughter.

"But in all seriousness, I'll try not to." Joseph added.

"Good," Twilight happily said.

"So when you mentioned I have to will something, can you explain that a bit more?"

"Sure! Take pyromancy for example. A dangerous talent to have, but thankfully it's rare and the ones that do have it are on the Mage Council, but that's a digression for another day. Their magic is exciting matter. You command them to move, and if you give them enough energy they'll spontaneously combust."

"Show me," he said, the grin of his inner pyromantic showing.

"They're mages for a reason, Joseph. It's all high-level magic that I haven't learned to do. I only know the theory, and it's too dangerous to try in an uncontrolled environment, like a treehouse library."

"So when you said I need to put physical and mental effort into a spell, is that like exercising for an hour, difficulty of the spell pending?"

"Now you're getting it!" Twilight beamed. "Some pyromancy spells can be compared to running a marathon in a day, simpler spells like levitation are the equivalent of performing daily tasks like cooking, and that's become second nature in the majority of ponies."

"Where does teleporting fit into that equation? I've seen others do that quite a bit."

"There are some ponies more intrinsically inclined towards magic; meaning they can draw on more magical energy to supplement their own lack of, at the same time giving extra power to their spells. Teleportation would be complicated for you, so I'll reserve that for a different lesson. So, what did you want to try next?" Twilight asked. By now Spike had finished clearing the table and the dishes, and was sitting at the table watching the exchange between her and Joseph.

"Do spells also work on voice comm—" Halfway through his sentence, a short, sharp rap on the library's front door was heard.

"Disguise, now!" Twilight commanded in a hushed bark so their visitor wouldn't hear them, bolting up to get the door before it opened.

Not wanting to be found as-is, Joseph fumbled with the ring in his magic, but it kept cutting in and out for some reason. He tried using his front hooves, but that proved worse.

Joe heard Twilight greet the visitor. "Good morning, Cherilee! Here for this weeks lesson materials?" He couldn't hear the reply, but knew from Twilight's volume she was stalling this 'Cheerilee's' entrance.

"I've got a guest right now," she added, "just let me quickly check if they're decent."

She trotted back over to the kitchen door and peered around the door, only to catch Spike leaning over the table with the ring in his claw with Joseph's head tilted forward, about to place the ring on.

"What?" Joseph asked on seeing Twilight's expression. It was both confused and amused. "You never seen a baby dragon put a ring on a grown man's horn before?"

Only when he noticed Twilight's double-take did he realize his faux-pas. He didn't get to dig a deeper hole before Twilight pulled the ring from Spike's grip and put it on Joe's horn for him, Joe letting her do so without objection. His form shifted and Twilight visibly relaxed.

"I've got the local schoolteacher picking up some books for her class this week. Don’t cause any trouble," Twilight said sternly, giving Joseph enough of a stare to tell him to keep the disguise in check.

"Come on in for a moment while I get the books," she politely chimed upon walking back out into the main area. "I’ll be right back." Twilight hung a right out of the kitchen and went upstairs.

Curiosity got the better of Joseph, and against his better judgement, he went to poke his head out to see who it was exactly. His eyes were greeted with a burgundy mare, whom had a cotton candy coloured, pink-and-white mane.

"Oh, hello!" she exclaimed in surprise. "Who might you be?"

"Uh, hi..." Joseph replied demurely. Before Joseph could reply with the name matched to his disguise, and not his human one or the one of whose body he was in, Cherilee's eyes drifted to his flank.

"You alright, there?" he asked somewhat harshly, noticing the line of sight in her eyes, Cherilee taken aback by this. "Sorry," he quickly added. "I'm new here, so when people take notice of, well, that, it gets a bit irritating."

Cherilee smiled warmly at his apology. “It’s alright. I apologise for staring. I was just caught by surprise is all.” Just then, Twilight came down the stairs with a stack of books enveloped in her magic.

"Here you are!" Twilight declared. "Was there anything else?"

"Nothing that comes to mind, but I'll let you know." Twilight helped Cherilee pack the books into her bags, and she turned to leave after a grateful nod.

Joseph saw Twilight's eyes dart between him and the departing mare before she stuck a hoof out in front of her and called back for the teacher. "Hold on!"

Cherilee stopped mid-step and turned her head around. "Yes?"

"This might sound strange, but why doesn't Eclipse here"—she nodded at Joseph—"join you?" Cherilee's eyebrow raised with curiosity at the question. "Heh, let me explain. She's from a the far south of Equestria, and came to town earlier in the week. Being from a completely different culture, I thought that maybe she'd like to join in the lesson and help you out you for the day, Think of it both as a student and teacher's aide."

Cherilee took a moment to think of how helpful it would be to have an extra set of hooves to help out. The class could learn something about a different culture too!

"That sounds great!" she happily exclaimed.

Twilight and Cherilee both turned to Joseph with questioning looks.

"Nu-uh, no way!" he exclaimed. "I had my rough patches at school, and I wouldn't like to be an onlooker to it for six hours; especially amongst kids!"

"Please?" Twilight begged. "They're having lessons on history and magic today!"

'As much as I hate to admit it, magic lessons at an arguably professional school does sound like a good idea.' "Ok, ok,"—Twilight's expression lit up but Joseph cut her off before she could say anything more—"but, a couple conditions first."

"Deal!" Twilight said almost immediately.

He wasn't sure why Twilight would agree without hearing the terms first, but he listed them just to be clear. "I get at the very least an hour for lunch, and the freedom to leave if I want to. Can't say I fancy being in school with noisy children all day."

"Do you not like children?" Cherilee asked.

"Not really, to be honest. I've never liked the idea of actually having them."

The two mares in front of him were smiling regardless, then Cherilee took the opportunity to speak first.

"I can wait for you to get ready if you like? I've got time to spare before I'm due at the school."

"Sure. Saves Twilight taking me there." Joseph got up from the table and began to walk upstairs.

Half way up, Twilight joined him. "Please, try not to mention anything about Nightmare Moon, or give too much away about your real self,” she pleaded. “If you must, try to make what you say sound like it happened inside of Equestria, alright?"

"So you want me to be purposefully ambiguous and allude them, hoping they fill in the gaps?"

"Exactly!"

"Sure, I can do that." Joseph often did just this when on Earth, and it proved rather effective in buying some extra time to finish either school or work projects; things he should've done earlier. "Uh, you wouldn't happen to know where my money is, would you?"

"I put your things in your saddlebag and put that in the chest under your bed."

"Huh... Don't know why I didn't check under there for the ring."

Twilight just gave a short giggle at that, opening the guest room door to let Joseph in as she followed after him. Joseph crouched down slightly to look under the bed. He saw the chest and pulled it out.

Sure enough, the things Luna gave him were there. He emptied out everything, save the money pouch, and began to don the bag.

"Why do you need the bag if you're just carrying money?"

"In case you haven't noticed, I don't have clothes, let alone pockets." 'Ugh, I feel naked just thinking about it like that.'

"Just do this," Twilight began. She took the pouch from Joseph, and in the blink of an eye, it disappeared with a poof.

"Hey!" he protested. "What'd you do with my money!?"

She poofed it back and gave it back to him with a smile. "I just put it in my pocket."

"It disappeared! What could that possibly mean?" he demanded.

"Well, I'm correctly assuming you know what pockets on clothing are, so just try imagine putting it into one. Like how you said you managed to use basic levitation."

Joe stared intently at the pouch. He pictured his hand sliding his wallet into his back pocket, and when he did that, the pouched vanished in a puff.

He stumbled back a few steps in surprise. "What just happened!?"

"I might have confused the distinction between the kinds of pockets. There's pockets on clothes, and then there's the Hammerspace Pocket. If you want the technical term, that is."

He thought of himself pulling the wallet out of his pocket and opening it, and sure enough the money popped back into existence. 'What else can I do just by thinking about it?'

Twilight reminded him about Cherilee, so he put the money back in his 'pocket' and went back downstairs to her. They both said goodbye, Cherilee leading the way over to the schoolhouse.

Cherilee tried asking him where he was from, but Joseph respectfully turned them down to avoid repeating himself to Cherilee and the students if they asked the same question. He said to wait until during class, and if she had a question for him, or one that the class asked, he could answer it for her and the class.

The duo approached a red, barn-like building adorned with hearts and filigree patterns, with a few steps that lead up to it like Sugarcube Corner. It had a bell tower offset on the right side of the building's roof, complete with wind compass on top. From what Joseph could see, the back yard of the school was fenced off and held the typical equipment found in a little kid's playground.

Cherilee went first up the steps to unlock the door, pushing it open and entering, letting Joseph follow. He entered and looked around inside. In front of him was Cherilee's desk, and facing away from it were several small desks. On the left and right of the room were short bookcases, three shelves high. Various teaching implements and other items were scattered on the top.

Behind the desk was a chalkboard, and to the left and right of that were two doors with frosted windows.

"We've got about ten minutes before the students show up. My office and the belfry are to your right"—she indicated to the door to the right of the chalkboard—"and the restroom is the other door," Cherilee said. "I'll show you to my office, and you can wait in there. I want it to be a surprise for the colts and fillies," she finished with a smile.

Inside the office, Cherilee’s desk was to the direct left inside the door on the inside wall with sufficient space to walk behind. There were two cushions in front that Joseph assumed were for sitting on.

Cherilee went behind the desk, opened a drawer and pulled out a ring of keys, opening a box on the wall behind her. She turned a knob and flicked a switch, then closed it, turning back to Joseph. "I set the bell to ring in ten minutes to let everypony know school is about to start.

"I need to write up a brief plan for the lesson, so would you mind?" Cherilee nodded at the bookcase, indicating to Joe to peruse the small collection until she could introduce him.

"Sure can!"

"I'll knock on the wall when you can come out." She gave a thankful sigh and went out into the main room, closing the door behind her.

"Good morning, class!" Cherilee announced when the entirety of those to show up had taken their seats. "I have a special guest here today for you!" The room became a sea of hushed murmurs among the students. "Now now, quiet down! She's not from around here, so I want you to all be nice, understood?" She sneakily knocked against the wall with her hoof.

"Yes Miss Cherilee," the entire room chorused at once.

A few seconds later, Joseph walked out, all eyes glued to him in wonder. He sat next to Cherilee's desk so they were eye level with one another. When scanning the room, he saw three familiar faces: Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, and Pipsqueak; the ones he talked to at his party. Yet for some odd reason, Sweetie didn’t look at him in the same manner the others were.

"I want you to all meet Eclipse," she announced. "Part of the history lesson I have planned for today involves a few different cultures and creatures, so I thought it would be a good idea if she came and told us about her culture, as well as helping me a bit. Any questions?"

A mauve filly stuck her hoof up. "Yes, Diamond Tiara?"

"Why doesn't she have her cutie mark?" came the haughtily-asked question. It didn't phase Joseph though.

"Don't be rude," Cherilee chastised. She then turned to Joseph. "Why don't you tell us where you're from?"

While reading books in the room he was in when first coming here, he was groaning at all the bad horse puns and scarily eerie coincidences with the names. Maretropolis? Manehattan? Canterlot? Joe made up the name of a country using one from Earth, and turning it into a bad pun.

"Neigh... Zealand?" he tried. Cherilee gave him a curious glance at that name.

A grey-coloured filly was the next to raise her hoof. Joe nodded at her to answer. "Where is that, exactly?"

'Well, if New Zealand is south-east of Australia...' "It's a bit south-east of Tartarus," he replied. He saw a few of the ponies look at each other in disbelief.

A cream-coloured filly stuck her hoof up this time. "You've been to Tartarith!?" she incredulously asked. At this point, all eyes were glued to Joseph, having piqued all their curiosity. "What'h it like?"

"Really hot, although the place I stayed had a great big waterpark nearby."

Four hooves shot up.

"Hold old are you?"

"Why is your coat and mane so dark?"

“Is there really a waterpark in Tartarus? I want to go there!”

"One; it's rude to ask a mare her age. Two; you can't just go around asking why someone's coat is dark!" he joked. However, the joke seemed to be lost on them and they just looked at him confused. “And yes, there is.”

"Why did you trash Sugarcube Corner?" Sweetie asked.

All heads present turned to look at Sweetie, then to Joseph. All their eyes were wide, save for a select few whom were there when it happened.

'I don't care what you're doing upstairs there, Nightmare, but I could really use some help right about now!' Everyone was still staring at Joe, whom was trying to bide his time until Nightmare could fill in the missing details. He couldn't remember, but surely she might?

"I, uhm..." 'Answer me you gaseous bitch!' "Saw a rat?"

Nice save. Not.

'Where the hell have you been!?'

I've been trying to dig my way out of the enchantment Chrysalis put on me, and in turn, you! Nightmare seethed. Listen, I'm trying to break it but it's on a loop. No matter what I do, the spell matrix always refreshes itself to counter me. It wasn't you that trashed the party, it was a chan—

"Ah don't know about you," Apple Bloom said, garnering Joseph's attention after a brief period of blankly staring into space. At least that's what everyone perceived, "but if a rat gets into something then Fluttershy tells it to behave."

'...What?' he thought in response to that question. "How long was I out there?"

"A good fifteen seconds," Cherilee said. "Are you alright? Does that happen often?"

Suddenly, the idea bulb went off in Joseph's head. "It happens once in a while. Sometimes if I'm new to a place then I'll just black out and autopilot takes over. So, to answer your question, Sweetie, I did, but like I said, nervousness overtook control and I had a blackout. I'll stop by the bakery later and offer to pay for the damages."

The rest of the Q&A went without too much problem, and the morning's magic lesson dabbled mostly in levitation for the unicorns. Being an earth pony, Cherilee didn't have too much inside knowledge, but with Joseph being a unicorn (at least outward in appearance), she called on him a few times to help explain how levitation worked.

Sure enough, it helped out the unicorns slightly, having a fresh perspective towards the topic. While that was being done, Cherilee told the class they could catch up on any outstanding work from yesterday. Anyone else was welcome to read a book or be constructive, so long as it was relevant to the lesson to some degree.

When the bell chimed for the mid-morning break, Cherilee dismissed the class so they could have a short, twenty minute break before the history lesson that lead up to lunch.

"Would you mind just keeping an eye on them?" Cherilee asked sweetly. "They can get a bit rowdy. It's only for twenty minutes while I organise the history lesson."

"Sure thing, teach," Joseph said, garnering a surprised look from Cherilee upon hearing him call her that.

He went out the back door that had the playground laid out before it, and sat on the steps to oversee the going-ons.

Over by the sandbox, four fillies were crowded around Diamond Tiara. Joe kept an eye on them, unsure if the crowd was sinister or inquisitive. Some minutes later saw her hold up a purple framed mirror with sparkly little jewels.

Curious as to whether it would be a cheaply made plastic mirror or something else to the playground where it could get broken, he cantered over to the group to see what was going on.

On approach, Diamond Tiara looked up at him. The rest of her 'friends' noticed her looking above them and followed suit, taken by surprise at him having snuck up on them.

"What do you want?" Diamond Tiara asked arrogantly.

"I was just seeing why you brought an arguably expensive mirror to the playground. It can get broken, you know."

She flipped her hair with an annoyed "Hmph!" "My daddy bought it for me, and I was just showing it to my friends here, right, girls?"

"Yeah!"

"Diamond Tiara always has the latest in fashion and makeup!" a second added.

'Oh, so she's one of those kind of schoolkids...' "Here," he began, taking the handle of the mirror with his magic, "why don't you let me take it inside so you don't break it by accident?"

"Uh oh," another friend added. "Better do what she says, Diamond. Your daddy would be upset if that happened."

Glowering at Joseph, Diamond Tiara relinquished her grip on the mirror. "Fine." She turned away in a huff, and her friends followed like sheep after her.

With the mirror, he strolled back to the schoolhouse, inspecting the jewel-encrusted item. Crafted of what could have been purple wood polished to a shining finish to bring out the beautiful grains, the frame and handle had a pattern of different coloured stones. Whether the stones were precious or not, Joseph didn't know, but something like this could easily cost hundreds, potentially thousands of dollars on Earth if they were.

He looked at himself in the mirror, but something being reflected in it caught his attention. Something black, sitting with the other kids around a bucket of water. His head turned to see what it was, but he only saw Sweetie Belle sitting with a few of her classmates around said bucket.

He became concerned at what it could be, and picked up the pace back into the school.

Cherilee came out of the back room as he entered the room. "Are you alright? You look like you've seen a ghost."

"Y-you're not too far off! Here take this," he said, thrusting the mirror at Cherilee. "Look through it at the kids with your back against the window and tell me what you see."

"Where did you get this?" Cherilee asked upon having the mirror forced on her.

"I took it off of Diamond Tiara because I didn't want her to break it, but can you please just look!?"

"Ok, ok," she conceded. With her back towards the wall and sitting on her haunches, Cherilee pointed the reflective surface at the playground, scanning it.

"Well?" Joseph pressured.

"I... don't see anything?"

"Look for Sweetie Belle." He rolled his eyes at the mistake of not mentioning her to do so a moment ago.

"Uhmmm... It looks like it's just her. Why, is something wrong?"

Not understanding why she wasn't seeing what he was, Joseph sat next to her and angled the mirror enough so they were both looking through it while pointed at Sweetie. "How can you not see anything?!" he exclaimed.

"Eclipse, calm down! What's the matter?"

"It's black, eyes like blue orbs of water. Kinda looks like a tree gave birth to a pony."

On hearing this, Cheerilee's head whipped around to stare at Joseph, fear written across her face. "H-hold on a moment," she stammered, heading into her office and returning with one of the books she got from Twilight this morning.

She opened it up and turned to a bookmarked page, one among a few. She stopped when she found a roughly drawn sketch of something that closely resembled Sweetie seen from the mirror.

"That's it, but what is it, exactly."

"Go get Twilight. Tell her to send a message to Princess Celestia saying that changelings are in Ponyville. I'll keep the students occupied, and an eye on Sweetie if you're so sure it's her."

'Why can't she see what I can?' "Yeah, okay, sure."

"Do try to be calm about it. Last thing we want to do is to alert any others."

"What!?" Twilight screamed when Joseph told her what happened.

He had run back to the library and told Twilight what had happened with Nightmare, the mirror, Sweetie, and Cherilee.

"I don't know why she couldn’t see her either! I could see it through the reflection in the mirror, though."

"We need to alert the guards, the Princesses!" Twilight began to visibly panic, running over to one of the shelves and pulling various books off. "Oh no no no, I gave the book I had on changelings to Time Turner! Cherilee has the history book that has brief detail about them."

"Hold your horses, Twilight! Listen, we have changelings on Earth, and if the lore is anything to go off, there are countermeasures!"

"Well!?" Twilight demanded. "Spike, take a letter, now!” The dragon scrambled to grab a quill and parchment “So, how do we defeat them?"

Author's Note

Now with art!

Commissioned from w00tnewt.

Joseph with disguise:

Joseph without disguise:

13| Interlude 2: Ichor

Morning Glory strode with purpose down one of the many halls and passageways throughout Canterlot Castle.

He got an order from the higher-up that Princess Luna needed seeing to, so he began his practiced march through the one route in the maze of corridors that lead to her bedchambers.

He steeled his resolve and cleared his throat before knocking.

The door cracked ajar and a soft voice spoke from within. "Who is it?"

"Princess Luna? Her Majesty sent me to check on you." The door opened wider so Luna could talk to the guard properly.

"Why has my sister sent you to check on me when she knows perfectly well not to disturb me when I'm working? Let alone on a break."

The double doors on the opposite side of the room that lead outside were wide open, letting the cool night air waft in, brushing up against the curtains. Princess Luna sat outside on the dais of her tower, enjoying a cup of tea, and looking over the kingdom below.

Morning Glory noted several manilla folders sitting in a neat pile in one tray on the left of her desk, one open with its contents fanned out, a quill and ink, and a few more folders sitting in a tray on the right of the desk.

"I do apologise, Your Highness, but Celestia received word that there has been sightings of changelings in Ponyville. She believes there’s a connection between you and the Nightmare Moon incarnate that was here a few days ago; a matter I'm privy to." Princess Luna's head whipped around to stare at the guard with reserved disbelief. "That's why I'm here: the changelings may have gotten you and Nightmare Moon confused for whatever reason, thus the need to check on your safety."

The Lunar Princess let the news sink in for the moment before replying calmly. "While I appreciate the concern, I can defend myself against changelings if necessary. You may take your leave, if you please," she added with a small sense of annoyance in her voice.

"If you wish." The guard dipped low in a respectful bow and turned to leave.

"Oh, Guard Glory," Luna called back to him halfway to the door. "I must thank you for this tea you recommended," she said with a smile. "It has the perfect balance of aroma and flavour..." She took a small, quick sip. "...but may I ask you to request one of the maids to bring up another batch, but with some sugar this time?"

"Thank you, and I shall. Would you like me to take this empty pot to the kitchen?"

"No need; the maid can take it with her when she delivers the next pot."

Morning Glory gave an understanding nod before retreating out the door and down to the kitchen. Once there, he relayed the Princess' desire to one of the staff, who promptly set up the tray and went to boil water to steep the tea leaves in.

Once out of sight, he lifted his wing and took a small vial of clear, thin liquid out, holding it in his wings to begin with to pop the cork in the vial, then using his mouth to pour it over the half dozen or so sugar cubes laid out on an ornate napkin. The sugar soaked it up right away, not melting, nor did the silk napkin underneath dampen.

'Changeling nectar...' he darkly thought to himself. 'Sustenance for us, mild hallucinogen and sleep inducer for ponies.' Once done, he deliberately tossed the vial over his shoulder, where it fractured into small shards on the floor.

As the brewer came back with the pot of steaming tea, Morning Glory turned to leave. He pretended not to notice, and stepped on one of the shards, giving an audible grunt of pain.

"Are you alright?" the brewer called over to him.

"Th-there’s glass on the floor!" he declared, inspecting the ‘cut’ on his hoof, which was, in reality, an illusion.

"Glass!?" came the incredulous reply.

"Yes, Sweet Leaf, glass!" He stuck his hoof out to show a line of crimson snake down the softer tissue of the hoof. "Would you be so kind as to clean it up while I go see to the cut on my hoof?"

"Of course! My apologies! I will find out who it was that broke the cup and reprimand them for not cleaning it earlier."

"Good," Morning Glory replied slightly contemptuously. When Sweet Leaf darted off to fetch a dustpan and broom, with a flash of green fire, the guard turned into a chocolate-brown unicorn mare complete with maid outfit. Not a second too soon, Sweet Leaf returned with the appropriate tool to clean the shards.

"Oh, excuse me, Cocoa,” she said on seeing her colleague, “I need to clean this glass somepony broke. Would you please take the tray of tea and sugar over there to Princess Luna's quarters?"

"It will be my pleasure."

Two hours later, Morning Glory took flight and flew in the opposite direction from Canterlot Castle in the early hours of the morning. Disguised as a thestral guard instead of solar, he headed towards a seemingly inconspicuous mountain range. When he was a suitable distance away from the massive city, he shifted into his default changeling form.

He approached a small, winding valley, with many rocky overhangs. He flew as close as he could to the north end and began flying down the center of the valley, known to the hive as The Granite Passage, for the sheer abundance of the hard rock.

Because of the caverns running through the hills, the entrance to the hive was subject to change to confuse anyone looking for it. Changelings though, through antennae on the top of their heads, are able to detect the main entrance when they get close enough, .

He felt a sensation pull him towards a face in one of the cliffs, and flew straight into it. He passed through a magically generated illusion barrier with ease, settling down on the other side.

"I trust you were successful in acquiring what I asked for?"

Morning Glory parted a section of his carapace, levitating out a vial that was substantially bigger than the one that held the nectar, only this one held a more viscous liquid.

"Perfect," Chrysalis hummed in satisfaction.

"I don't understand why you have me fetching this, when you can easily draw what you need from one of the captives."

"It is not as simple as that. The spell requires four, very specific ingredients. Each acts as a catalyst to the one preceding it. It’s better you don’t know what it is I’m making." Chrysalis sent the vial to her private quarters with a flash of sickly green fire. "As a reward, and because you like living up to your namesake, you may choose one of the female consorts to do with as you please."

Morning Glory's face lit up, a grin plastered across his face. "Thank you, My Queen."

‘That out of the way, I need to seek out Woola for the task I have in mind for her…’

Author's Note

In hindsight, changelings are probably some of the more scarier bastards in the show.

14| Subjugation

Author's Note

The events of Interlude 2: Ichor take place during this chapter.

14| Subjugation

At the behest of Twilight, Spike began writing Joseph's dictations about changelings on the parchment.

"Their magic, disguises, or whatever you want to call them, don't work on mirrors," Joseph began. "They rely on you to be looking at them with your own eyes. When they feed, they leave a rash or mark on the back or neck."

"But you said that Cherilee couldn't see the changeling that you claimed to be Sweetie Belle through the mirror," Twilight pointed out.

"That's what I don't understand either. It shouldn't work, but it is. I could see it, but Cherilee couldn't. Unless they've done something that affects how you see them through a mirror."

Twilight blinked a few times and then her expression lit up. "You mentioned that Chrysalis cast a spell on you that Nightmare Moon is trying to break."

"What's your point?" Joseph questioned.

“I don’t know what Chrysalis did or what Nightmare’s doing, but maybe Nightmare has worked out a way or done something to you that inhibits that part of the spell. So, assuming their disguises are either illusory or perceptive magic—”

“—Or shapeshifting,” Joseph Interrupted. Twilight shot him an odd look at this.

“Why would they have shape shifting too?”

“Well that’s it, I don’t know. Because we don’t have anything that could be construed as magic on Earth to the degree of, well, all of this, changelings in Earth lore used shapeshifting, but that only works with direct eye contact as I stated. That's why mirrors give them away. I could be wrong to assume that their shape shifting ability translates to illusory magic. Best we’d best keep both options open,” Joseph said, imploring Twilight to do the same.

“You getting all this, Spike?” Twilight asked.

“Shape shifting… Illusion magic… Mark on back or neck...” he idly stated. “Got it!”

“What’s next? We need to gather as much intelligence as quickly as possible and send a report to the princess!” the mare demanded, becoming increasingly frantic.

“How do you guys kill them?” Joseph asked. “If there’s more than one way, we need to consider them all.”

Twilight's expression became one of abstract horror. "What!?" she exclaimed. "I only wanted to know how to defeat them, not kill them!"

“Twilight, this is the kind of thing you’ll need to torch, that way you know they won't get back up."

"There's got to be another way!" she pleaded. "I couldn't even think of killing something!"

"Two things. One, changelings are a dime a dozen. The Queens can spawn new ones as often as she wants, provided she's got enough... food... to sustain however many she's got. Two, instead of killing the changelings, go for the Queen. If you torch her, then all the drones she's spawned will die too. They’re intrinsically connected to her."

"Is there anything else you're leaving out?" Twilight deadpanned.

"Yes and no. Regarding the fire thing, that's the only way to kill them. They can take a beating like nothing you've ever seen, but ultimately they'll get right back up. They also have lots of agility and are stronger than you; but only marginally."

"Spike?" she asked, turning to look down at the drake and his dictations.

"Agility... Strength..." he repeated. He looked up at Joseph. "What do you mean by 'marginally'?"

Joe rubbed his chin contemplatively as he struggled to think of a definitive answer. "Well, Twilight could overpower one smaller than her I think, but not equal or bigger. Same rings true for Celestia, although you can hold your own against it. You'll still lose, though."

"There's no constant?" Twilight asked.

"I haven’t exactly been in a fight with one to find out,” he said dryly.

The feather of the quill darted all around the air as Spike wrote. He then cleared his throat to read back what he had written for accuracy's sake.

"Illusion magic and/or shapeshifting to create various disguises. Changeling forms falter when viewed in a mirror. Enhanced agility and strength, values indeterminable.”

Joseph took the parchment to read the dictation. “Oh, forgot something,” he noticed. He then took the quill to add some more detail. “Invulnerability… Kill it with fire, or silver knife if shapeshifter...” he wrote with a mutter, Twilight craning her head over the top of the scroll to read what was being written. “There you go,” he said, giving the scroll to Twilight. “Anything else you need to add?”

The mare’s eyes scanned the addition. “I don’t want to kill anything!” she declared with a scowl. “What would Princess Celestia think of me if she received a scroll like this!?”

“That you were doing as much research research as you could to counter a possible threat,” Joseph said.

Twilight opened her mouth to object, but closed it. ’Damn it, he’s right.’ “Fine. But only because I don’t want to disappoint the Princess,” she admitted.

"See what I meant?" Spike joked to Joseph.

"See what?" Twilight wondered.

Joseph grinned. "When I was having breakfast with Spike the other day before you came down, he was telling me how obsessed you are with your studies."

She simply shoved the scroll and quill at Spike. "Dear Princess Celestia," the mare seethed towards the dragon. Spike looked down to the scroll with justified fear of Twilight as he began to take down this dictation.

"At approximately eleven-thirty this morning, Joseph alerted me to a sighting of changelings in Ponyville. Nightmare Moon told him that Chrysalis is also involved somehow, and that she cast some variation of a memory spell on him. Included with this letter is what Joseph knows of his world’s lore on changelings. Please assess and advise."

Twilight stood behind Spike to read the dictation as it was being written. Her eyes widened when she comprehended the first word Joseph wrote, having momentarily forgotten it to object about the 'kill it with fire'. "Invulnerability!?" she exclaimed. "That means they're impossible to defeat!"

"Twilight, don't keep saying 'defeat'. You know perfectly well that books are sound sources of information, and if the ones I read on Earth said to kill it with fire, there must be a good reason."

"And what reason is that?"

"Arguably because it was tried and true."

Twilight took a deep breath to calm down. "Send the letter, Spike."

He rolled it up and incinerated it with a puff of fire, the ashes exiting through one of the opened windows.

"Oohhh," Joseph exclaimed with awe. "Teach me how to do that? While I'm here we might as well finish teaching me magic."

Twilight conceded with a sigh and a pinch of her brow, walking over to a sofa that sat adjacent to the base of the stairs. She relaxed on it and spoke. "That spell is reasonably simple. It's a matter of giving a small amount of magic from one to the other. In Spike's case, Celestia gave him some of her magic, and took some of his dragonfire when he hatched. That's how they can send letters back and forth."

That moment saw Spike belch up a cloud of soot which coalesced into a scroll. "The side effect of the spell is because it's dragon fire, that happens." Twilight unfurled the scroll to read it as she finished her sentence. "If I gave you some of my magic through your horn, then the scroll would appear at the tip of my horn like what happens with Celestia."

Her eyes scanned the writing on the page as she frowned. "Celestia left Canterlot this morning to go to Saddle Arabia for a diplomatic meeting and won't be back until this evening."

"A city, country, or however you want to look at it, is at stake and she wants to finish her meetings?" Joseph asked rhetorically. "Seems a bit negligent on her behalf. And why doesn't Celestia just send messages straight to you instead of using Spike?"

"I'm just her student. Celestia told me to send her reports to her every now and then, and hatching a dragon egg was my entrance exam to get into her school. Anyway, want me to teach you the spell?" Twilight asked, changing the topic.

"Hold on, if you need me to give you my magic, wouldn't that be like Nightmare Moon giving you dark magic? That could have the potential to make you as malevolent."

"Hmmm... You might be right," she admitted, "so let’s not chance it. I can still give you mine, though; that much is safe. Now lean forward."

Joseph did as he was instructed and Twilight lit her horn. He felt a warm, tingly sensation waft over his head as Twilight gave Joseph a dose of her magic.

"Now try sending something by thinking about it."

Joe used some parchment Spike gave him, writing down 'Testing', underlining it a few times. He then rolled it up and bound it with a small piece of ribbon.

Within his mind's eye, he imagined walking down an endless street, the piece of Twilight's magic being a lone house with a mailbox. He opened the imaginary mail box and put the scroll in, when in reality it immediately burst into purple smoke and flew out the nearest window.

Not a moment later, it came flying back in the same window, the smoke coalescing back into a scroll as Twilight grabbed it with her magic before it could hit the floor.

"How did you find that?" she asked, opening the scroll to see how intact it and the message would be after this first time sending.

"If it's anything like delivering actual mail, then Celestia must have a veritable post office inside her head."

The image of her mentor with a post office inside her head made Twilight giggle, but she quickly composed herself and turned her attention back to the matter at hand.

"Well”, Twilight began, ”unless I can find Time Turner to get the book about changelings off of him or he returns it, and since the history book with what little it has on changelings won't be much help to us after the fact, how about we all go and get some lunch?"

The trio began to make their way towards the hustle and bustle in the middle of Ponyville. The various market stalls and shops made up the main street, selling anything from curios to clothes, and even a store that specialized in strictly sofas and quills.

'I don't know why he'd want to limit his clientele when the vast majority of other shops sell a wider range of things,' Joseph thought with bewilderment.

Along the street were a few quaint, brunch-style cafes to choose from.

Twilight took Joseph to one that had faux, flat-top mushrooms for tables, and piles of hay atop which other ponies sat. 'Dried grass as seats? I'm gonna be scratching and picking hay from my ass for a while,' he thought with disdain.

He proceeded to sit upon one of the piles of hay, grumbling and shifting to try and get comfortable.

“Something the matter?” Twilight asked upon hearing Joseph’s grumble.

“Doesn’t sitting on dried grass get uncomfortable?” he said with an air of annoyance.

“Why would it? Curl your tail underneath you and sit on that,” she replied as she did so herself. “The hay is there for a bit of cushioning against the ground.”

Joseph looked back at the length of hair protruding from his spine. Fortunately for him, he managed to swish it, indicating that faculty was intact and at the same time clearing pieces of straw that stuck to him.

’Twilight’s right; sitting on my tail is substantially more comfortable.’ It was in that brief moment the weight of his sentence caught up with him. ’There’s something I never thought I’d say...’

A presence to his left made itself known. “Excuse me, Miss, are you ready to order?”

“Uhh…” He looked to Twilight. “Where’s the menu?”

“Oh, sorry. Haute, could you bring my friend here a menu? She’s new to town.”

“But of course,” he replied, going over to what looked like a magazine rack, returning with a menu. "I shall see to some other customers while you make a choice."

"Thank you," Joseph replied, turning his attention to the menu.

For a cafe's standard, it's fairly straight forward. Sandwiches–toasted or not, a few deep-fried items, and some slices and cakes that were on display inside. On the flip side was a drinks menu. Milkshakes, tea, coffee, juices, and so on.

"Daffodil and Daisy sandwich?" he said quizzically.

"My favourite!" Twilight replied. "Are you going to get one too?" She looked at Joseph, hoping he would make the same choice as her.

He shrugged indifferently. "Eh, why not. Already had hay fries, so flowers can't be much different."

"Don't you like flowers?" Spike asked.

"Humans aren't really geared towards eating flowers. Some can be downright poisonous. I'm sure there's things humans can eat that ponies can't and vice versa."

"Really? You've got to tell me as much as you can!" Twilight gasped with realisation. "You and I could co-author a book about humans! This is going to be so much fun!"

Haute Cuisine trotted back over the table and asked; "Are you ready to order?"

"Two Daffodil and Daisy sandwiches please!"

"And some gems too, please!" Spike added.

'Gems?'

"To drink?" he pressed.

Joseph flipped the menu and quickly scanned the drinks selection. "Chocolate milkshake, please."

Haute looked between Spike and Twilight.

"We'll be fine," she said.

"I'll be back with everything when it's ready," he declared, taking the menu and putting it back as he entered the cafe to ring everything up.

A few tables off to Joseph's left, he heard a crash—the sound of glass shattering, followed by a shrill, crying wail.

"Button!" a voice chastised. "I told you not to play that at the table!"

He looked over, seeing a dark brown colt wiping his eyes, and a tan and cream coloured mare with a scarily angry look on her face. On their table was what looked like a Gameboy or a Nintendo. On the ground next to them, a broken, glass milkshake cup on the ground with its contents rapidly spreading out.

A few minutes later, Haute returned with a tray balanced on his back. “Here you go”, he said, setting the contents on the table. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to clean up that colt’s drink.”

“One moment,” Joseph said, magicking his bit bag out of his dimensional pocket and taking a few bits out. He gave them to Haute. “Don’t say anything, but give him another. In the metal cups if you’ve got them,” he said with a small grin.

Haute caught it, smiling in return and giving him a wink. “My lips are sealed.”

Joseph magicked the big bag back into his pocket. Turning to Twilight, he saw her perplexed look.

“What?” he asked.

“I’m… not sure what to say, honestly. No offense, but you didn’t strike me as somepony that would do that.”

“Watch it,” he cautioned.

“What I mean is, you’ve been rather, how do I say, crass, since I’ve known you.”

“Have you ever dropped an ice cream and cried about it when you were little?”

“Well yes but—”

“Is that hole you’ve dug deep enough for you to crawl into yet?” he replied irately. “I was just trying to be nice but you’ve gone and soured the moment.”

“Sorry…” Twilight replied, her ears flattening against her head. She picked up and took a bite of her sandwich, half-heartedly chewing on it and looking away from Joseph.

All the while, Spike watched everything unfold with indifference, happily crunching away on his gems.

“Is that rock candy or something?” Joseph asked through a mouthful of his sandwich.

Spike shook head head and swallowed his mouthful before responding. “Nah, they’re proper gems.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me…” he replied, eyes widening with mild shock. “You’re literally eating precious stones!”

“Yup,” he nonchalantly replied.

“Geezus… Your poop would probably be considered a valuable trading commodity on Earth,” Joseph added with a giggle.

“Why’s that?” Twilight genuinely inquired.

Joseph caught sight of Haute Cuisine come out of the cafe with the milkshake, this time in the metal cup. He smiled, watching Button’s face light up as Haute whispered something to the mother-and-son duo. The little colt happily drank his new, cold drink, as his mother watched on. Yet, for some reason, she seemed rather angry still.

“Thanks, mom!” he beamed, proceeding to slurp furiously at the drink.

’I don’t know what the waiter said, but he seems to think his mum got him a new one.’ It was then Joseph saw her close her eyes and take a slow, deep inhale, like she was sampling something?

’Ok, that’s weird...’ He turned back to Twilight, shrugging it off and returning to Spike’s question. “Well, literally no living being on Earth should have any sort of capability to digest things like rock or gems, least they lacerate your insides. By the way, who’re those two?” he asked, pointing over to Button and his mum.

“That’s Milano Mash, she works at Ponyville Day Care centre. Why?”

“Just curious is all.” He picked up his glass to take a drink of the milkshake as Milano and Button walked behind him to leave the cafe's outdoor seating area.

It wasn't until Milano passed by that he saw a black haze followed by a brown one, lazily reflected against the glass and its contents. He did a double take, eyes wide and frantic, trying to catch another reflection. Alas, he couldn't; they were too far away.

Joseph thumped his chest to try and clear the lump of thickened milk from his throat.

"Woah there, you alright?" Spike asked, bits of multicoloured rock coating his teeth.

"Y-yeah," he replied. "Just thought I saw something is all."

Twilight's look became one of concern. She leaned in closer to talk to Joseph, Spike doing the same, although more for eavesdropping purposes. "Was it another changeling?"

"I don't know. Button and Milano walked behind me, and I saw their reflection in the glass."

"...Okay?" Twilight said, slightly confused.

"What colour are they?"

"Brown and a heavy cream?"

"Not brown and black?" he replied.

The mare's eyes widened as she stopped chewing the remainder of her mouthful. "What?!" she said with a hushed bark. "She works at the daycare centre! If she really is a ch... If she really is one, then there's no telling what Chrysalis is doing with the little colts and fillies!"

Twilight began to visibly panic. "This is bad, very very bad!"

"Hakuna your tatas, Twilight, I don't know if she is or isn't; could have simply been a trick of the light or any other number of factors."

This seemed to calm her slightly, although not by much, and her faculties only just processed what Joseph said. "What was that first thing you said?"

"Hakuna Matata?" he lied. "It's something from when I was a kid. It means no worries.”

She hung her head and rubbed the back of her neck with both hooves to try and relieve some of the building stress. "I just wanted to get outside for some fresh air and a meal..."

The rest of the day passed without incident. Each finished their meal, Twilight picked up some groceries from the market, some new volumes for a few book series, as well as several large rolls of parchment, alongside a few rollers that the paper gets rolled around, and a bigger bottle of ink used to refill the bottles.

When they got back to the library, Twilight unpacked everything and offered to teach Joseph some more magical theory, emphasizing that practicing it in anything less than a controlled environment could result in disastrous results.

Joseph tried getting her to teach him how to teleport, but Twilight argued that a miscalculated teleport is likely to end up embedded in, or sticking out of whatever object you teleported into. She added with finality that it only works if you know where you've already been, or you're consciously aware of your immediate surroundings.

That dashed Joseph's hopes and dreams of having the one ability he'd always wanted, but sensibly decided that Twilight was right.

It wasn't until after Princess Luna had already risen the moon, with Celestia setting the sun, that the latter sent Twilight a letter.

The moment the scroll appeared, Twilight tore into it and hastily scanned the written words. "The Princess said that she's arrived back at the castle, and wants to see us urgently." She read on, aloud this time. "’The letter will incinerate itself shortly after you receive it, after which you have thirty seconds take hold of Joseph to both be teleported here, post haste.' Uh oh, this sounds really important," Twilight said, mild anxiety setting in.

"I hope she's not crabby after having to deal with diplomacy all day," Joseph replied uneasily. It was then the letter decided to set itself alight, disappearing with a 'fwoosh'.

Twilight rushed to Joseph and hooked her right foreleg around his left. "Don't let go," she commanded.

"Don't worry sweetie, I would never let go of you," he replied sardonically, a grin plastered across his face, Twilight giving him a downright poisonous stare in return.

In that instant, they disappeared with flash of golden magic, leaving Spike alone in the library.

"Ice cream and comics here I come," he gleefully said to nobody in particular before gallivanting off upstairs.

Joseph and Twilight popped into existence in Celestia’s throne room. It was barren, save for a single guard, standing motionless to the left of the throne.

“I— ”The moment Joseph got his footing on the floor, he was overcome with dizziness.

“Oh holy shit, was that teleporting?” Not having experienced it before, being instantaneously moved from one place to another didn’t go over too well for him. It was like crossing several time zones all at once while flying in a plane. The dizziness caught up with him, and he was hit with a wave of nausea.

“Can someone get me a bucket, I think I’m go—” Before Joseph could finish his sentence, he dry-wretched, hacking up a storm.

Even though nothing came up, Celestia saw he needed a moment to right himself. “Guard, would you see that Eclipse has a moment to recover from the spell while I speak with Twilight, please?”

“Of course, Your Highness,” he replied, turning in Joseph’s direction, making a beeline to him. “If you’ll follow me, I can take you to get some water while the Princess has a private word with her student.”

“Uh, yeah, lead the way.” Joseph wiped a little bit of spittle from the corner of his mouth that escaped from dry heaving, and followed the guard to the massive double doors that stood at the entrance of the throne room.

The guard parted the tall doors just enough to let Joseph out first before he followed suit. Once closed, Celestia turned to Twilight.

“Twilight,” she began, her voice firm, “did you tell him what, or rather who, Nightmare Moon is?”

Twilight’s heart rate picked up at the question. “N-no, not yet,” she stammered. “I-I don’t know how I would break it to him.”

“Very well. It is your decision if you do or don’t. I don’t know if it would matter to him since he can talk to Nightmare whenever he wants, but I do thank you for telling me when you had a moment.”

Twilight grinned sheepishly. “Sorry for not telling you earlier. When I found out that Nightmare Moon was the God of Nightmares, I ran to find Joseph; to make sure he, or rather Nightmare, wasn’t up to anything.”

“Now, on to this Chrysalis business. What do you know of the situation?”

“Everything I know, Joseph told me. Could we please wait until he gets back so we’re all on the same page, and not repeating everything?”

“Of course, Twilight,” Celestia said, smiling warmly, putting Twilight’s worry at ease.

It was a few minutes later that Joseph returned, looking much better, and not like his lunch was going to say hello.

“I do apologise for the sudden teleportation” Celestia greeted. “That must have been your first time.”

“I never want to teleport ever again,” he stated resolutely. “Twilight, forget I ever asked you to teach me that. Now, I assume this has all got to do with the changelings?” The guard that accompanied Joe to the kitchen went back over to his post, unflinching.

“I’ve never had any problems with any changelings in centuries,” the solar diarch said. “Why is it they’ve suddenly decided to go after you?” she queried.

“I don’t know that they’re after me specifically,” he said pointedly, “just that when I mentioned them to Twilight and Cheerilee, they were flipping more shit than an episode of Mythbusters.”

“...Pardon me?” Celestia asked with a cock of her head.

Joseph sighed, pinching his brow and muttering; “I need to try and stop making Earth reference jokes. Anyway, I only saw one; Sweetie Belle. When I was at the schoolhouse, Nightmare told me Chrysalis did something to my head, and Nightmare Moon is trying to destroy the enchantment.”

“May I try something?” Celestia asked. “It’s a simple diagnostic spell. If something’s amiss, then I should be able to pick it up with this spell. All it involves is using my magic to ‘scan’ you, but I should only need to use it on your head.”

“It’s not going to make me throw up?” Joseph asked, recalling the side effect of the teleportation.

Celestia just chuckled. “Not at all.”

“Sure, I guess,” he replied uneasily.

“Step forward if you please.”

Joseph trotted up to the base of Celestia’s throne, leaving Twilight behind. Celestia's horn lit up, her eyes closed, and his vision glossed over with a yellowish hue as the glow encompassed his whole head.

"Try not to move," she said as the spell began its work. It wasn't until Celestia began scanning for abnormalities within his brain that Joseph felt a searing jolt of pain assault his head.

Joseph let out a shriek of intense pain, reeling back and falling down the stairs. "Ow, ow ow ow fucking ow!" he bellowed. "What the hell was that!? It felt like someone jabbing a hot poker through me!"

His gaze turned to the guard as Twilight ran to his aid as he rubbed his temple. "And you're not rushing over to help me up, why?"

"My duties lay with the Princess!" the guard declared.

"Well not helping someone up after they've fallen down the stairs is being an asshole!" Joseph spat.

"I agree," Celestia added, turning to look at the guard. "I think I might have skipped the 'be courteous' part of his training. I shall fix that as soon as I can."

The guard gulped, a bead of sweat rolling down his brow.

"Ugh, what happened anyway?"

"It appears to me that Chrysalis has completely erased events from your memory. Essentially, she used her magic to invade your brain and extract the memory itself, and my magic was like a cart’s wheel hitting a hole in the road."

"Nightmare Moon is already responsible for making me forget the names of my parents," Joseph began, his voice getting louder as he finished by shouting; "now this!?"

The guard took a step forward as a warning to lower the arguably threatening tone, but Celestia placed a wing over his back, giving him a stern glare that told him to stay put. "You were saying?"

"I am literally losing my mind!" Celestia was unmoved by his loud tone. "I've got two... things, trying to wipe memories from my head." Joseph took several steps forward to better look the diarch in the eyes.

The guard wanted to intervene, and quite understandably so, but Celestia had nothing to fear from Joseph.

He looked her dead in the eyes and said; "How long until I am no longer myself, but a darkened version that Nightmare wants to use as her tool?" He took one more tenacious step. "I came here through a magical accident after dying. How many times has something like this happened?" he half asked, half demanded.

Celestia blinked and swallowed.

'Aahhhh,' he thought, a victorious smile forming on his face, ’so this has happened before...’

"I-I don't know," she admitted. "You're the first that's been brought to my attention." Celestia cleared her throat and steeled herself against Joseph's accusatory glance.

Twilight stood in her place, listening to everything.

"Then you must know what happens, right?"

"I am unsure of what happens, thus I do not know how to reverse, or stop the process. Do you know what else Nightmare has done?"

"See, the thing that you need to ask yourself is, when something begins to erase your memory," Joseph began, "is how am I supposed to remember what she's erasing unless I know what it is that has been erased? It defeats the purpose!" He stared at the alabaster mare before him, awaiting an answer, yet none came.

"Yes, I... understand how that would be a problem. But moving on, how have you been finding it in Ponyville?"

Joseph backed down a bit, easing tension in the room. "Bit of an out-of-the-blue question, but other than being kidnapped and my head being messed with by three people now; fine. Why?"

Celestia's gaze turned to Twilight. "I apologise, but Joseph will need to come back to Canterlot until further notice so my sister and I can keep a closer eye on him."

“All this getting moved around is getting on my nerves. Since it seems I’m the one everyone is after, why not I just skip town entirely, hmm?” he said contemptuously.

“Your complaint is justifiable, but I couldn’t ask you to do that. It puts you at risk, and that I can’t let happen.”

“And if I stick around with changelings hounding me, it puts everyone at risk!” he retorted. “The best bet is to run as far away as possible. If all they want is me, then they’ll get out of your hair.”

Celestia let out a disgruntled sigh. “That is suicidal,” she said calmly. “I cannot, and will not let you do that!”

"You have two options," Joseph began, interrupting any further objections. "One: You put up necessary countermeasures for the changelings. That means mirrors, and lots of them. Screen anyone you suspect, or have reason to. I would suggest testing everyone with a hot poker, but that's not exactly realistic," he said, disguising a mirthful smile.

"Two: I am going back to my house, to do whatever it is I want. Either of those two options leaves you shit-out-of-luck with no potential to lord over me, which you shouldn't be doing; period." He took pause to let the words sink in, Celestia abstaining from any further objections. "I'm going to leave now. Don't worry about showing me the door; I already know the way out."

He turned to leave, leaving a bemused Celestia and Twilight in his wake.

"Joseph, wait!" Twilight called, Joseph halfway out the door. He stopped mid-step, turning to look at Twilight. "Will you be alright? You don't need me or one of my friends to keep you company at all?" she asked worriedly.

"Thanks, but no thanks. I don't know if they'd get replaced on their way over or not, so I'm just going to take the risk being by myself for now." Despite being angry, annoyed, and depressed at everything that's been happening lately, especially with his head, Joseph gave Twilight a half-hearted, yet sincere smile before exiting the castle, stepping into the cool, crisp, night air.

He took a deep inhale of the invigorating aroma and gathered his thoughts. He left the main castle grounds and began walking down the main promenade with all the shops, looking for a store that sold lamps.

It wasn't long until he spied a pole jutting out from a terraced shop, from which hung a sign with an ordinary-looking, hand-held glass lamp.

’Looks like this is the right place.’ He noticed an orange glow coming from behind the display case in the store's front window, indicating someone was here. He used his magic to open the door, striking a bell hanging from the door's frame.

"Hello and welcome to Little Lamplight's Lamps!" the unicorn shopkeeper greeted. "Looking for a lamp are we?" he asked in jest.

Sensing the sarcasm, Joseph replied; "No, I'm looking for sofas and quills. Got any?"

The unicorn gave a wide smile. "Sorry ma'am, but what we do have is a wide variety of lamps, big and small, wicks to match each size, and all the fuel you could ask for!"

'Perfect.' "What's your smallest, and biggest?"

The shopkeeper looked around the store with a hum of thought, pulling over a rather small, and one extremely large lamp. "The small one holds a few ounces of fuel, good for as many hours. The big one holds a couple litres. That's for large rooms, and lasts upwards of two days. The fuel comes in short, round glass containers which are housed within the base."

'Too small and too big. Although...' "Do you have something that has about ten to twelve ounces, or roughly three-hundred millilitres?"

“Sure do. Those will last you through the night."

“Great, then I'll take two of the ‘standard’ lanterns, and half a dozen glass fuel containers, and enough fuel for each. And whatever it is you use to light them."

The unicorn put everything together, including a short enough spool of wick rope that could be cut to length for each lamp.

It wasn't until after he put everything in a couple of bags that Joseph realised his bag, and a few of his belongings were still at Twilight's. 'Heh, I can just write her and let her know when I get back to my place.'

"I said that'll be eighty-five bits," the shopkeeper said.

"Oh, uh..." Joseph mustn't have realised he zoned out for a moment. He pulled out his bit bag, counting the coins. "...Eighty?" Joseph said uneasily. It wasn't until he finished counting that he realised he was a few coins short.

With a curious expression, the unicorn picked up a jeweler's eyeglass from behind the counter, one of the coins, and started examining it up close. "Where did you get these? They're freshly minted. Not often you come by them in this quantity. Usually the princesses will give minted coins to banks to distribute."

A few seconds later after he finished that sentence, the unicorn's eyes widened at Joseph. "Did you get these from the princesses?" he asked with all due seriousness.

"Yeah, why?"

"Oh, no reason. I wasn't aware that you had ties with them is all. Anyway, I can excuse a few bits because of the fresh mint of these coins." He floated over the two big, brown bags. "Have a good night!"

"You too!" Joseph replied before heading back out the door, each bag in his magical grasp.

It was just like carrying bags of groceries, yet Joseph still didn't fully understand how using corporeal magic physically tires him, outside of Twilight's explanation from earlier.

The nightlife of Canterlot had begun to crop up, with a lot of the day shops having been closed by now. A few streets over on either side of him, he heard the low 'untz' of loud music playing. Just like on Earth, mares and stallions dressed in their nightly going-out clothes began popping up on the streets. For creatures that more or less were naked throughout their day, he never thought that wearing the same style of clothes would make the view any more revealing for him, yet quite a lot of the clothing was drawing his attention.

'Typical,' Joseph mused with slight annoyance. Shrugging it off and doing his best to ignore the outfits, he found the way back to the house Luna gifted him with with little to no difficulty, only needing to stop a few times to make sure he was still on the right street.

Once inside, he sensibly decided to lock his door to try and safeguard against whatever might come poking around his head. Again.

Being tired from the day's events, he decided an early sleep was in order. Trotting up the stairs to the bedroom, lit by nothing else other than ambient light coming in through the windows, he discovered the bedsheets were in the exact same position from his first night here. He let out a small giggle at this before flopping onto the mattress, pulling the covers up to his chin before drifting off to sleep.

15| Joseph: King of Dreams

Once more, Joseph found himself dreaming. This time he was freely roaming around the subconsciousness he and Nightmare shared. Like before, he was thankfully his human self. Normally it was the endless black abyss in which they normally conversed, but this time he stood in the middle of a seemingly endless corridor of doors.

"How did I get here? What is this place?" With his curiosity piqued, he tried to open one of the doors. It freely swung open, and what lay within made his gut drop and heart skip a beat.

These doors were his memories.

This particular memory was of his bedridden parents, lying in the sealed-off and sterilised ICU ward after their encounter with the... unusual sea life.

Joseph could see his younger self pressed up against the glass across the room, heartbroken, tears freely flowing from his eyes. He looked from his smaller self to his parents on their respective beds, and the doctors wearing hazmat suits trying to figure out what was going on; what had caused this mysterious disease.

As he looked at his parent's faces, he couldn't remember their names to save his life. He knew them, he recognised their faces, and it pained him to no end that Nightmare had made him forget their names.

Wiping a stray tear from his eye, he closed the door, slumping against it. He struggled trying not to completely break down. With several, ragged deep breaths and two twin rivers of tears, he regained his composure, wiped the salty residue from his face, and went to the next door.

There was something strange about this door, he noticed.

He went to reach for the handle, but it didn't have one. It was a simple, flat piece of wood. He looked up and down, seeing various doors with and without handles. 'Is this one of the memories Nightmare made me forget?' He went up to this door, placing his hands up against it and running them down, trying to discern if there was something invisible on the door. Alas, there wasn't. No invisible raised bumps or anything like that. Joseph could always try kicking the door down, couldn't he?

He took a few steps back, rearing his right leg to try and kick the door down. With all the force he could muster, Joseph drove his foot at the spot where the handle would have been. It connected, sending out an excruciatingly painful jarr shooting up his leg. The pain kept on travelling, finding its way into his head. Trying to kick down a door to one of his memories translated into an ungodly headache, one that he'd be sure to feel when he woke.

"Ugh, maybe I didn't hit it hard enough..." Getting back up and dusting himself off, he tried conjuring something that'd help him break it down. "Lets try this... Rock gauntlet!" he declared. In that instant, a stony red glove appeared on his right hand. He flexed the two fingers of the gauntlet, each with two fingers inside, save the thumb.

"God I hope this works..." He took a few steps back, cocking his arm, readying a fist. He thought that with the extra momentum in conjunction with the punch, it'd be enough to break down the door. His blow connected, yet he got the same result as before. A bolt of pain radiated from his hand, finding its way up to his head, and the stone fist crumbled to the ground where it simply dissolved into nothingness. All Joseph could do is clutch his head and wait for the pain to subside.

"Note to self: don't punch doors to memories… Or kick them for that matter..."

He waited for the pain to go away before he got up, where he rubbed his temples to try and quell the rest of the headache.

From his position, he saw that all down one half of the corridor, there were doors that had missing handles, and ones that had their handles. He turned to look up the opposite end, seeing that those doors were seemingly untouched. 'This must be the middle, then; where Nightmare got up to. So what did Chrysalis do to me and her?'

Joseph began to walk down the half of the corridor that had missing handles. The further down he went, the more doors he saw with missing handles, some that were tinted green, and as he continued, he noted that nasty-looking globules of green stuff had begun to show up.

’I’ve heard of a dirty mind before but this is just ridiculous.’ Some of it was on the handles of the doors, some was along the top or hanging from corners, splattering to the ground.

'If Nightmare sealed the doors to my memories, what'd Chrysalis do?' Further down, he spied a completely blank space where a door should have been, no doubt the missing memory that Chrysalis stole. He gave a snarl at this before continuing. The further he went, the green tinted doors and gelatinous substance became more abundant.

Whatever Chrysalis did, he was nearing the source of it.

He picked up the pace, breaking into a run. The awesome thing about dreaming, Joseph found, was that he didn't get tired while running, yet for some weird reason trying to kick in a door translated to real pain. It took Joseph longer to figure out than it should've that he could manipulate his own dreams and create whatever he wanted. With a thought, Joseph stopped in place, threw his hands forward to grab at the air, intent on 'pulling' the end of the corridor into view.

'Please let this work...' The doors rushed by at an incredible speed, and he was left with one door, completely encased in the green goo. This one was the worst of them all, and that left Joseph thinking this is where Chrysalis put her spell. The rest of the doors were worse off than the ones he'd passed, but this particular door took the cake.

He reached out for the handle, although not before willing a thick glove on his hand. 'Too bad I can't think that green crap away...' he thought with disdain.

The door refused to budge, but he felt it give a little if he put more force into it. While he did feel a small modicum of pain from trying to force it open, he was sure this one would open if coaxed enough. He threw his shoulder at the door to try and open it, but in doing so realised that doing that entirely negated the point of having summoned the glove. "Goddamnit..." he said, brushing off the green goo with a grumble. Fortunately it wouldn't carry over into the real world when he woke up, though this didn’t make it any more pleasant for the time being.

Every time he slammed into the door, the Flubber-esque goo encasing it would pull it back, almost like a viscous, rubbery glue.

"Chainsaw!" he declared. One popped into existence at his feet, and he picked up the tool with a wider-than-necessary grin. "Door-stop too, perhaps?" The rubber wedge poofed into existence at the base of the door.

He pushed the door open as much as he could, jamming the rubber stopper in the gap of the door and the floor, giving him enough room to cut away at the green substance.

Joseph's grin spread like a wildfire across his face as he revved the chainsaw, testing the blade with the trigger. Finding it to be in perfect working order—'Oh, of course; it’s a dream, silly me.'—he set about cutting away the ‘glue’.

It was like cutting through foam rubber; pieces of goo flew everywhere and got all over the front of his pants and shirt.

Eventually, the seal on the door was cut through, and he managed enough strength to open the door.

The door opened with some difficulty, globules of green dripping onto the floor at his feet. Once open, he stepped through, greeted by the sight of a diseased ball of green energy, and Nightmare sitting before it. From her horn shot a beam of some kind. It hit the ball of energy, reflected off, and hit the floor next to her. Nightmare gave a short hiss at this, thankful she wasn't struck by her own spell.

As she turned to glance at the floor where the beam struck, she looked up to Joseph standing in the doorway.

"I see you had no trouble finding me," she stated. "Although how you got through the door is beyond me.”

"Well, instead of following the yellow brick road, I followed the slime-covered doors," he quipped. "Also, I can will chainsaws into existence. How cool is that? Anyway, what've we got here?" he asked, gesturing to the glowing orb.

"Chrysalis' spell you imbecile," Nightmare retorted. "What else do you think it could be?"

"Uhm... St Elmo's Fire? Never mind. Anyway, now that I'm here, what've you been doing to it?"

"Observe." Nightmare proceeded to fire another beam at it, and instead of bouncing back off, it connected, and the two energies gave off sparks and smoke. She dissipated the beam, turning back to Joseph.

"Her spell is... How do I explain it to a mortal... It's self-repairing. Every time I try to find a point to get in and unravel it, it 'learns' what I'm doing and forces me out of it. My last attempt rebounded off because I tried brute strength instead of a more calculated approach as I demonstrated."

"I'll pretend I know what you're talking about for the time being. How do we, uuhhh, destroy it?" he ventured.

"Given I can't find a weakness in the spell I can exploit..." She paused to consider her next sentence. "Since it's self repairing, we'd need to destroy it completely. Unfortunately, since you pilot my body–and in turn my magic, I'm limited in my capabilities within here."

Joseph smiled a wide grin, willing a slingshot and some steel, ball-bearing ammo in his hand.

"A slingshot?" Nightmare asked with incredulity. "You're going to take down a spell matrix created by a being that's easily a millennium old with a slingshot!?"

"Oh, by no means do I expect to, I just want to see what happens," he replied with a grin of his inner child. He took aim, letting the twenty-millimetre ball bearing sail down range where it hit the orb of magic. It pinged off, whizzing past his head.

"Alas, you have solved the problem!" Nightmare said sarcastically, giving Joseph a flat, bemused look. "Do you really think you can destroy that with a foal's toy? You'd need something more substantiated than rubber and steel balls."

"Steel, you say?" Closing his eyes, he imagined a certain suit of armour. When his eyes opened, he found a gargantuan, seven-foot tall, steel-armoured suit standing before him.

"And what might this be?" Nightmare asked with a raise of her eyebrow.

Joseph's grin grew exponentially. He walked up to the rear of the suit, gave the wheel mounted on its back a sharp turn to the right, and it opened up before him. He got inside as it sealed itself around him with a hiss and a clank. He turned back to Nightmare, looking through the visor and saying; "Power Armour."

Nightmare's horn glowed, enveloping the suit in an aura. "This construct has no magic." The glow dissipated from the suit. "How could it be considered 'power' armour without the use of enchantments? My soldiers—back in the day—wore enchanted helmets and peytrals that enhanced their capabilities. That would be the 'power' aspect of it."

"It's called 'power armour', because if you have a problem, put a guy in one of these point him at it and consider it gone."

Nightmare sat on her haunches to watch Joseph with a rather amused expression. He slowly walked up to the green mass with each thunderous step, reaching his right hand forward to grab at it.

His hand got violently rejected, causing him to stagger back a couple steps in the heavy suit.

"Humans," Nightmare mused. "Are they always this stupid and entertaining?"

To which Joseph replied; "Yeah, pretty much. You would've had fun on the internet." He turned his focus back to the spell, balling a steel-clad fist. With the extra force behind his punch thanks to the armour, he struck with substantially more impact than when he tried kicking the door to his memory.

The spell gave off a radiating pulse of energy with enough force to throw him well away from it. He landed and skidded to a stop at Nightmare's side, smoking with green energies.

"Ooouuucch..." he replied through a strained voice.

Nightmare simply grinned at his misfortune. "Let me help you," she said, levitating both Joseph and the suit so they're vertical.

"Ugh, why are you helping me?" It was rather peculiar that Nightmare is trying to undermine Joseph's mentality on varying levels, yet here she was helping him upright.

"Am I not allowed to?" she asked.

"Well let’s see. You made Luna evil, got her banished for a thousand years–and by extension yourself too, and somehow I of all people ended up in your body through a spell you created-slash-cast. I'm entitled to know your motivations, least I think of more butts," he countered. Not caring for a rebuttal, Joseph began making his way back to the floating spell.

"I'm trying to help you get rid of Chrysalis' spell. She affected your memory, but not mine. I saw everything that happened; I remember it but you don't. I can't help you if I'm stuck here."

“She erased, what? A twelve hour block of my memory or something like that? What does that matter compared to what you've been doing?" Ignoring any further comments from Nightmare, Joseph struck at the spell again but was thrown back in an arc, green smoke billowing off of him. Once more, Nightmare righted him.

"You're insane for trying the same thing twice," she said amusedly.

"On the contrary, I'd go so far as to say insanity is trying time and time again with the knowledge nothing will change. So no, I'm not insane. You, on the other hand, strike me as insane. And what was that last thing you said?

"I'm trying to help you get rid of Chrysalis' spell?"

"After that."

"You're insane?"

"In the middle."

"I'm stuck here?"

"There we go." Joseph turned to regard Nightmare, folding his arms in contemplation. He made the helmet of the armour disappear so he could converse with her directly. "So this spell is keeping you confined to this portion of my head?"

"What does that have to do wi—"

"—Just answer the question."

"Yes, I suppose it is." I don't like where this is going, she thought.

"How is it negatively affecting me? Aside from having a memory forcibly extracted, that is."

Nightmare heaved an annoyed sigh before replying as calmly as she could through growing nervousness at this train of thought. "She has a front row seat to your ocular devices like I do, as well as the ability to peruse your memories on a whim. That said, she has to consciously activate her end of the spell to gain access to our head to be able to do anything, though."

"Then explain why I should help you get rid of that," Joseph stated, pointing to the spell over his shoulder with his thumb. "With you where I can keep tabs on you, then you A, don't have to worry about being tortured through bombardments of gluteus maximus mental imagery; B, can't fuck up my memories or head anymore. If you want my help, you're not doing a very good job of convincing me to help you when you've done nothing but bone me over this entire time."

He sat down on a chair that materialised out of thin air, folding his arms and legs with anticipated victory as he awaited Nightmare's response.

Joseph could tell through Nightmare's despondent look that she was caught between a rock and a hard place. Having no convincing rebuttal to make him release her from this portion of their shared mind, or rather the mind that Joseph dominated with her piggybacking, she let out a defeated grumble and her shoulders slumped as she let out a nasally sigh.

Joseph's gave a victorious smirk at this before speaking. "Are you familiar with something called a Faraday Cage?"

"I am unaware of what they are myself. Enlighten me," Nightmare said with exasperation.

"It's a fine mesh, earthed cage often made from brass designed to block electrostatic and electromagnetic influences."

"From your description, I'd compare this 'cage' to a magical inhibitor ring that are designed to nullify a unicorn's magic. Does that help?"

Joseph stood up and the chair disappeared. "Sure, why not, that works too. I'm taking a shot in the dark here with this, but..." He stood next to Nightmare and closed his eyes with concentration, trying to form the cage around the spell. If his hunch was right, a horn would be a conduit through which magic would be cast by thought. Since that's how he used magic, maybe casting it used electrical impulses within the brain?

A wire-meshed ball supported by a metal rod grounded in the ‘ground’ appeared around the ball of energy, with Nightmare turning to look at the goop-encrusted door through which Joseph entered. To her amazement, a solid portion of the goo dissipated as the spell weakened, but not all of it. Turning back to the energy ball, tendrils snaked from the corporeal mass as they tried to push their way out of the cage. When the tendrils made contact with the sphere, only a tiny bit of Chrysalis' magic got through and dripped off.

"I must say, I never expected a human to outsmart someone like me or Chrysalis. Credit where credit is due," Nightmare admitted somewhat bitterly. She cast a beam of magic which hit the cage, but she didn't do anything to destroy it. Instead, she scanned the imaginary construct while humming with thought.

"It's... effective," she replied uneasily.

"I sense a 'but' coming," Joseph said.

"It won't hold forever. You've dampened her spell, but Chrysalis will sense what you've done when she tries invading our mind again. It's only a matter of time before she gets through. I give it about three-to-five days if she has no immediate plans to come in, two-to-three if she finds out tomorrow."

He shrugged at this. "Eh, then I can just do it again. Delay her another two-to-three days."

"Even then, I don't know if she'll strengthen the spell to where your little cage can't contain it, and that's what I'm betting on."

Joseph’s eyes narrowed to glaring pinpricks and turned to look down at Nightmare Moon with malintent, who was sitting on her haunches to his left. Her expression became confused at this action. " Oh yeah, I forgot something," he said.

"Oh? What might that be?" she said with a curious raise of her eyebrow.

With that, the right hand of the suit of armour curled up into a fist as Joseph turned to face Nightmare, and in that same motion threw the fist into the bottom of her jaw. It connected, sending her flying in the same manner as touching Chrysalis' spell did to him.

She landed with a thud a distance away, and immediately her eyes darted to the human advancing on her with the thunderous steps of the armour as she scrambled to her hooves, standing her ground and firing a beam of energy at him. It connected, hitting Joseph in the chest and staggering him, yet the weight of the suit helped him stand his ground. He extended the same hand he used to throttle the evil mare, catching the beam in his palm so he didn’t have it holding him back as much.

He began to walk forward to her, Nightmare putting more power into her spell. Even through what she could muster with her limited magical abilities, it only held off Joseph long enough so she could erect a forcefield around her by the time the metal-clad human accosted the ebony mare.

He pounded on the shield with his fists, every anger-fueled blow connecting with the dome of energy. Nightmare could only pour enough of her magic into her spell before it began to wane as cracks started to appear.

Joseph took a step back as he cocked his arm. He swung the combined weight of the suit and his body into the uppercut, and it shattered the dome like glass. He grabbed at Nightmare's throat on the upswing, lifting her high as the shards of magic dissipated around her.

"You ever, ever, fuck with my memories like you have been again," Joseph sneered, squeezing tighter, "every time I come say hi to you, you'll wish it was only ass I will be thinking of!" His words dripped with all deserved viciousness as he choked Nightmare, looking into her eyes to emphasize his seriousness.

"And to make sure you don't do anything more, a little insurance." A flash of white around Nightmare's neck took her by surprise, but she couldn't see nor feel what it was with the vice-like grip cutting off her airway.

Joseph dropped her on the ground unceremoniously. Nightmare’s hoof found its way to her throat as she rubbed it in an attempt to quell the pain, and to coax air through. She gave raspy coughs, her eyes partially bloodshot from the lack of oxygen. It was then the hoof massaging feeling back into her neck nudged the construct Joseph created.

"W-what is this?” she said through a strained voice. It was a solid ring of shiny steel Joseph willed around her neck. She coughed more as she tried to discern what it was exactly.

"A collar," he simply replied, making the suit of armour disappear. “You know, to keep you in check.”

"You put a collar on me!?" she choked out. "ME!?"

"Unless you want me to think of an engraved word to put on it, I'd suggest you replace the memories you locked me out of."

Nightmare Moon glared daggers at Joseph. Angry wouldn't suffice to describe her situation, no, she was absolutely livid! "Why do you want me to do that?" she demanded.

"Strike one," Joseph taunted. "I'll take it off when you do what I want, or I drop the cage and keep you here to deal with the spell; where I know you won't be of any trouble."

"What happens when I 'strike out'?" Nightmare asked tentatively.

"You're on the right road to find out," he threatened with an icy tone. “You sure you want to know?”

"Then you're not going to like what I have to say next: I can't."

"You fucking what?" Joseph replied aghast, eyes widening with horror at Nightmare's statement.

"When I lock out a memory, that's the door that gives direct access. It's like creating a cypher and encrypting the key to the cypher. Without the key, it's impossible to open. I saw no reason to create one, either."

"So let me get this straight; not only have you shut me out of my memories of things near and dear to my previous life, you've gone and essentially thrown the key away?"

Nightmare shuffled nervously, pawing at the collar. "If you want to look at it that way, then yes."

"You just struck out," Joseph said flatly. More for show than practicality, he snapped his fingers and another pulse of white light emanated from the collar and Faraday Cage.

In that instance, a heavy chain appeared that tied Nightmare and the collar to the cage. "What did you do?!" Nightmare demanded. Her anger toward Joseph was made worse through his smug grin.

“You’ve given me every reason not to trust you. While I don’t want two drama queens poking through my head, I’m going to try and keep you both under wraps for as long as I can. This way you can’t do any more damage and will be forced to stay here. Now,” he said, changing the topic, “I don't know if it's been five minutes or five hours, and quite frankly I don't care, but I'm going to wake up. Try not to go anywhere, mmkay?"

With that, Joseph disappeared with a pop, leaving the once proud and evil mare humiliated by being bound with a chain and collar.

Fortunately for her, nobody else would be around to see it.

16| Hind's Blood

As Joseph woke to find himself sleeping on his stomach, he blinked his eyes and instinctively reached out with his 'arm' to paw at the bedside table, half expecting to find his mobile phone to check the time.

Instead of his hand like he'd hoped, Joseph's hoof felt over the table in the vain attempt to find his phone. It took several long seconds for his mind to register he wasn't in his own bed in his own home, that he was still trapped on this alien world.

"God-freaking-damn it," he angrily swore, using both his forehooves to push himself up from the tangle of sheets to glance around the room. As his eyes began to adjust to the darkness, he saw a contrasting, darker lump sitting against the wall opposite his bed; where he had put the bag of lanterns he bought.

In his zombie-like state from having just woken, he had to put a bit more comprehensive thought behind his basic-level telekinetic manipulation to open the bag and pull out just one of the lamps, a corked and full fuel bottle, wick, and a box of matches, all one by one. He had to be careful not to drop and break them.

He carefully set the fuel on the even surface of the bedside table followed by the lamp, pulling the cork from the fuel and pulling a length of wick from the spool. He managed to feed all but half an inch of the wick into the bottle after a few failed attempts given the lack of proper light, then fiddled with the lamp itself to try and locate the little hatch to the base where the bottle slid into.

He rotated the lamp until he saw the tell-tale little knob, then he upturned the bottle to soak the little bit of the wick he left sticking out of the bottle. He pulled it out so there was about three-quarters of an inch to light and put it into the base, closing the tiny door.

In his stupor, Joseph realised he forgot to ask how they actually work, and how to light one. In retrospect, the shopkeeper never told him how they work. He'd seen other ponies use them, and in turn foolishly thought they'd be easy to figure out by default, since, you know, they're lamps. Oh how wrong he was. The false assumption made him rotate the lamp to try and figure out how to light it once the fuel container was snugly inside.

'How do I...' Joseph absentmindedly wondered, continuing to look at the lamp for several more puzzled moments. Getting it in there was the easy part, but how did you light it?

Ugh, Nightmare groaned, this is painful for me to watch. Twist the vent on the top all the way open. Take the bottle out, light the wick, then put it back in. When it's burning sufficiently, you can open or close the vent to adjust the brightness of the flame accordingly, or to completely snuff the flame to turn it off.

"Heh, thanks. I knew that..." he sheepishly replied. Nobody was around that Joseph was aware of, so it wouldn't matter if he was talking to Nightmare Moon out loud.

He did as Nightmare instructed, and soon enough there was a bright, yellow-and-orange flame flickering away in the glass casing of the lamp.

"So how's everything working out in there right now?" Joseph half-asked, half taunted with a grin Nightmare couldn't see. He couldn't see her either, but that doesn't mean she wasn't rubbing at the chain and collar with disdain, as was his assumption.

The 'cage' has dampened enough of Chrysalis' influence to let me freely speak with you, Nightmare began. The door through which you came in was sealed by her magic to try and deter you, and at the same time keeping me where I was. Or am, rather, she bitterly corrected.

Joseph got up and grabbed the lamp with his magic to lift it up and around the room to let the light shine across the entire interior. It revealed the barest of amenities not unlike those of the guestroom of Golden Oaks, yet more spread out and with a few key differences. Namely, the addition of an armoire opposite the foot of the bed and a wardrobe set into the wall next to that.

He got to the door and opened it, the light from the lamp illuminating the immediate area around Joseph, yet cast the barest of flames to the end of the hall to his right, leaving only flickering, dancing shadows.

'Houses are so much different at night than during the day...' he mused. He'd only been here a grand total of two nights before Celestia shipped him off to Ponyville. He could navigate the house with relative ease during the day, but at night, it's a whole other story.

The hardest part in finding the kitchen was the mild disorientation from a combination of being half asleep, the glare of the lamp next to him, and the darkness in general. Even so, all he needed to do was go downstairs and hang a left at the bottom of the stairs. It didn't have any doors, so it'd take a special kind of stupid to miss an entire room.

Joseph treated himself to a glass of water and put the glass on the counter to use again at a later time, then made an attempt to find the bathroom. He had to open more doors than he'd like before he stumbled across the Asian-esque toilet set into the floor. They were easier to clean then the toilets on Earth. All you needed to do was scrub the bowl with a brush then clean the floor. The bowl acted like a drain!

He was glad there wasn't any cause to worry about stray drops from standing up over a western toilet like how he used to as his human self, but that revelation was a double-edged sword, putting it mildly.

He made a grab for the bog-roll, and tore off a length to wipe, then made his way back down to the kitchen to fetch another glass of water.

Didn't you just ha— Nightmare began.

Joseph barked; "Shut it!" He set the lamp down in the middle of the table, pulled out a chair and sat down. He slumped over the table defeatedly, resting his head in the crook of his foreleg and stared at the dancing, flickering lamp flame.

"What's the time anyway?" he grumbled.

Early morning, some time after three.

"There isn't a clock in this place; how could you possibly know?"

You'd know to if you paid any mind to your senses.

"...Senses?"

Or in other words, the latent abilities I—and now you—have.

"Teach me how to magic," Joseph asked mirthlessly.

It takes decades to learn how to properly learn, channel, and use alicorn magic, Nightmare said with contempt. Seriously, how would a human in their early twenties ever hope to control magic of a being that's thousands of years old is beyond me.

"Feh, just thought I'd try asking. Anyway, what's there to do at this time? I doubt I'm going to get back to sleep with Flubber everywhere inside my head."

Nightmare contemplated the question with a short 'hmmm'. The nightlife could have started to make their way back to their respective houses. Who knows, you might find a pliable stallion, she added with a small giggle, Joseph internally glaring at her.

"If the people on Earth are anything to go by, there wouldn't be any savoury people out at this time of night, so no thank you. Oh well," Joseph heaved with a sigh, "might as well see if there's something interesting happening."

He got up off the table, kicking in the chair behind him as he made his way to the front door, guided by the lamp. "Is money going to be an issue?" he asked upon realising he spent the last of his money on all the lamps and fuel.

Not unless you plan on buying something, Nightmare answered.

With a shrug indicative of saying 'oh well', Joseph snuffed the lamp and put it on the table just inside the door, making sure there were a couple matches to re-light it when he returned.

He exited the house, locked the door behind him, and peered out into the night. Per Nightmare Moon's statement, he saw a few ponies in groups of varying sizes–or simply by themselves–walking up and down the dimly lit street. As few street lamps as there were, it allowed the soft white glow of the moon to cast itself down on the street, both light sources giving contrasting shades of light up and down the street.

As he walked down the steps that lead up to his house, he glanced down the street to his right and saw a tired-looking pegasus stallion with a wing draped over a unicorn mare who was stumbling around as the stallion tried to keep her from falling over, walking down the street.

"I l-*hic*-luuuurrrve you, Scarecrow," she drunkenly cooed, slobbering him with a kiss, much to Scarecrow's bemusement.

"Every Celestia-damned week you do this!" he angrily replied. "Go to the clubs. Get drunk with your mare friends and dance until the morning. And here I am hauling your drunk plot home when I've got to go to work in four hours!"

"Mmmmm," she replied with a sloppy smile, "you're cute when you're mad at me..."

"Oh yeah? Well I'm about to turn into a great big fukin' teddy bear at this rate!"

She gasped loudly, her eyes widening as Joseph watched on with amusement, trying to refrain from laughing as they turned up a set of stairs to a house, presumably theirs. Scarecrow fished his keys from under a wing and unlocked the door to the house as the mare loudly exclaimed; "Really!? That means we get to cuddle all night long! You're so thoughtful!"

"Ugh..." Scarecrow grumbled as he literally dragged his marefriend inside. "Sometimes I wish I'd gone out with that flower mare from college..." The door closed behind the couple, Joseph struggling to keep his lungs from bursting.

"Is it—" Joseph had to take a breath to calm down as he wiped a stray bead of mirth from his eye. "Is it always like this?" he asked Nightmare.

I've never really been the kind to partake in social outings as she does, so I would not know. Although, before I possessed Luna there was often grand feasts with copious amounts of wine. That should count.

"Whatever... Let's just go and find more drunk people and their irate partners hauling them home. That was funny."

During his trip towards the boulevard in town filled with clubs, bars, restaurants and so on, the closer Joseph got, the more intense the vibrations became. His ears were assaulted by the cacophony of music reverberating from the clubs. It left him wondering how they were still standing, least the vibrations crumbled and wore away the construction of the buildings.

The amount of ponies still out at this time of night was staggering and, as Joseph aptly noticed, so were they.

Groups of ponies were congregating outside clubs as the cue of ponies outside each club wanting to get in dwindled as the night went on. There weren't more than a dozen in line at any one club. Other groups exited clubs screaming and bellowing about how awesome it was while stumbling over one another. That was the bouncer's cue to let in the next lot of scantily clad mares and their guy friends whom had the 'gettin' lucky tonight' look plastered all over their faces.

The clubs themselves had unique motifs and signs. One club, the Peppermint Hippo, boasted; "The finest dancers this side of Equestria!". The half dozen or so clubs, mixed with several more late-night restaurants, bars, amongst other, more adult themed entertainment venues dotting the street, also had their own motifs and themes. Each made Joseph balk with varying degrees of 'what the fuck?' while walking the footpath. Sandwich boards posted outside each place listed specials for the restaurants and bars while also showcasing guest appearances for clubs.

Towards the end of the street stood a club that had darker colours similar to that of his coat and mane, or rather, Nightmare Moon's. Mixed in were electric blues, vibrant purples, and the dash of white to accent and bring out the darker colours.

The sign denoting the name of the club read; "The Midnight Sun", which intrigued him. On the pavement stood an earth pony bouncer with an open sandwich board with "Special guest tonight! Nightmare Moon!" scrawled on it. His eyes went wide with shock at seeing this.

Relax, Nightmare began, it'll be somepony dressed up in a costume. Ponies will see the sign and think THE Nightmare Moon will show up, which will yield a higher turnover for the establishment. They're trying to capitalise on my return last week.

That turned Joseph's boiling worry down to a simmer and he turned his attention to the guard. What made him stick out like a sore thumb was the... unusual... outfit.

Atop his head sat a headband with a fake unicorn horn, while his sides had folded, also fake, wings strapped to them. His coat showed signs of having been dyed or painted black, as Joseph could see little splotches of his lighter blue coat that were missed. "Bit of a lazy paintjob..." Joseph mused to nobody in particular.

The bouncer's face just furthered the notion that the outfit was bad; there was a permanent scowl etched on his face.

His predicament amused Joseph quite a bit.

"Hold it," the bouncer said. "Aren't you a bit old to have no cutie mark?"

Joseph was taken aback at the rudeness of the question. "Excuuuuse me!" he retorted largely in jest, although his intent was to fluster the stallion.

The bouncer thickly swallowed. "Look, I didn't mean nothing by it," he defended, "it's just... I can't let you in without one. It's a policy we can't let any minors in until they get their marks. Even then we still have age restrictions."

Joseph simply raised his eyebrow questioningly at the cardboard-clad stallion, still hung on the question.

The bouncer just rolled his eyes in frustration. "Fine!" he conceded. "Go on ahead, it's my last shift here anyway... I still get paid either way," he finished with a mutter.

As Joseph victoriously opened the door, a brain-cell destroying, concussive sound wave of music blasted him through the entrance, causing him to stumble back with surprise.

The bouncer failed to stifle a laugh at the expense of the mare before him, saying; "Aw man, that made my night!"

Joseph straightened himself out with a shake, glaring at the guard. "Why's it that loud anyway?"

"It's the DJ tonight," he replied. "Calls herself DJ-Pon3... Something like that. I don't care, I'm clock watching until I get off at this point."

With an indifferent shrug, Joseph made his way inside to see this imposter Nightmare Moon. Would they be as badly dressed as the bouncer, or have a more convincing costume?

The music was nothing but the repeating eletronic untz untz untz. Given how ludicrously loud it is, he doubted he'd be able to hear Nightmare Moon talk to him inside his head.

The dance floor was packed like a can of sardines. It was a sea of writhing limbs, shaking heads, and general nonsensical dance moves. He scanned the mass of ponies through the flickering lights and colours the crowd was getting bathed in from equipment overhead, looking for the stage.

He spotted it in the far corner from where he stood. It wasn't very tall. The bench with all the mixing boards and record players sat flush with the top of the heads of the crowd, making it hard to see. In fact, he probably wouldn't have spotted it if it wasn't for the DJ behind it.

Two shades of electric blue ran through her mane as her dazzling alabaster coat flashed in time with each of the strobe colours. The thick, black-rimmed, purple-windowed glasses sat on her nose as she pumped her hoof, head banging, all the while flicking buttons and turning knobs.

The music stopped with an abrupt screech, making a lot of ponies wince and turn their heads in the DJ's direction.

"Alright everypony!" she declared through a microphone. "How're we all doing tonight!?" Her question was met with uproarious cheer and thunderous hoof stomps of approval. "Awesome! Hey listen, I gotta take a quick break so I can go check on our special guest so I'll be back in about ten minutes. In the meantime, I'll put on a short mix for you guys!"

The music returned with a vengeance and Joseph swore he could feel his brain cells dying from how loud it was. His eyes followed the DJ through a door off to the left of the bench, and he began to make a beeline to said door. Getting through the crowd was hard enough; Joseph felt like he too was dancing with how much effort he was putting into squeezing by everyone.

Eventually, he managed to get to the door. On it was a sign saying 'Employees Only'. He stole a quick glance around and, to his expectation, everyone was too busy dancing to pay him any mind. Even the bartenders across the other side of the room had their hands full with several lines of ponies twelve-deep.

He opened the door and quickly slipped inside, closing it behind him. The roar of the club dulled noticeably once he was inside. 'How is that possible?' he asked Nightmare, trying to see if she could hear him.

Sound inhibitors, she replied. Spells designed to dampen noise.

'Clever...' The hall before him had a door to his left labeled 'Restroom' and one at the end saying 'Equipment Storage' before it bent around to the right. Joseph tentatively trotted up to the corner and peered around. He saw four more doors; two on the opposite wall saying 'Changing Rooms', one at the far end of the hall which said 'Employee Break Room', and one more directly opposite the first two. He couldn't read what that door had on it from his current position though.

From the far end hall Joseph heard; "Is Nightmare Moon ready? She's due on shortly." The door opened and he saw the DJ walk out as he pulled his head out of view. There was a knock at the second changing room, a pause, another knock, then the door opened.

He then heard the DJ say; "Where is she?"

Another voice said; "What are you talking about?" Joseph heard the first door to the changing room open, then the second pony swore. "Shit! Why aren't they here? They're supposed to be here!" the masculine voice exclaimed.

Joseph assumed they were talking about the pony that was supposed to be posing as Nightmare Moon. "We have five minutes, what're we going to do!?"

"I could do it?" the DJ ventured. "I mean, the mix I put on lasts longer than I said it'd take before Nightmare was supposed to get on stage, so I doubt anypony would be looking at the clock to time how long it takes."

"Don't take this the wrong way, Vinyl, but you literally don't measure up to Nightmare's stature! She's as tall as Celestia!"

"Well, what else are we going to do!?" Vinyl countered.

The stallion gave a defeated sigh. "Fine, do it. Ugh, I need another drink..." He went back into the break room, shutting the door behind him.

Joseph heard Vinyl say under her breath; "Score!" before entering the changing room.

Ok, here's what you're going to do, Nightmare Moon piped up once both ponies were out of view. Go into the restroom behind you and wait for her to exit, all dressed up. Then, take off the disguise ring and pocket it. Follow her out onto the stage after she makes the big announcement. We're going to give them the biggest surprise of the night and none of them will suspect it's the real, well, me...

'I don't even know how to DJ! I just wanted to see the imposter!' he countered.

Look, trust me on this. do what I say and you'll be fine.

A devious grin spread across Joseph's face as he slipped into the restroom to hide.

Twenty minutes and one flushed toilet later, Joseph emerged from the restroom after he heard the door to the club open and close.

After all, he couldn't miss it when the music blasted into the hallway when it was opened.

Joseph took Nightmare's cue and waited by the door for Vinyl to make the declaration of Nightmare Moon's arrival while she was disguised as her. He was wondering what she'd look like. If the bouncer was any indication, it would probably be a piss-poor job. Then again, Vinyl's glee at being able to dress up as Nightmare suggested to him that the costume would be a bit more convincing.

"Fillies and gentlecolts!" Vinyl began once she silenced the music to speak into the microphone. "It is I, Nightmare Moon!"

When compared to Vinyl asking the crowd how their night was going, their response seemed to be a bit lackluster from what Joseph could tell. They still stomped and cheered, though.

Ok, now's your cue.

With that, Joseph threw open the door to the club, making sure it slammed on the wall. All eyes turned to him.

The entire crowd gasped in unison upon seeing Nightmare's form standing in the doorway.

Now, listen carefully and say what I say. You'll stick out like a mare in heat if you don't.

You've got to be kidding with that analogy! But yeah, fine, I see what you mean.

"How dare thee impersonate thine own Princess of Nightmares!" His gaze turned up toward Vinyl, who was looking at him with abject horror and shock, much like the rest of the crowd.

He stoically walked up to the platform as Vinyl, in her well made costume, took a few cowering steps backward. Her mane was dyed a deep blue, as was her tail. It was slicked back and came down on the right side of her neck. Her once white coat was either dyed or painted black—Joseph couldn't tell which—and the crescent moon cutie mark adorned her rear. Overall, it was certainly more thought out than the bouncer's.

"Sorry I'm late," Joseph said quietly towards Vinyl with a wink. "I was using the restroom." That seemed to deflate Vinyl's shock a little bit. "Just play along!" he said with a smile.

"Well why didn't you say something? And that's one hell of a costume! Where'd you get it? You even got the mane and tail right!"

"Doest thou wish to be sent to the moon for impersonating Us!?" he boomed, adding another wink.

Vinyl took the hint and cracked a smile. "Princess! Of course not; I only wished to join you on stage!"

"Thou art forgiven," he said with a joking sneer. He stole a glance at the crowd. Some were murmuring to each other, not sure what to make of this.

"I give you," Vinyl said with the slightest hint of unease, "Nightmare Moon!"

The club didn't say anything. You could have heard a pin drop.

"Epic costume!" one mare called out above everyone. That one statement earned a deafening roar of approval that rivaled the volume of the music.

Joseph sighed internally, thankful they bought the 'costume'.

"Now, I know it's a bit early, but I thought I'd kick everything off with a Nightmare Night themed song about Nightmare Moon! How does that sound, everypony?"

As if it was the only thing they could do, the crowd once more roared and stamped with gusto.

"Oh, I almost forgot!"

With that, Vinyl raised her right hoof which had some kind of remote attached to it, and pressed a button. A hiss and jets of dry ice smoke erupted from the stage as it began to raise. The two end sections of the stage extended on pistons, rotating to point speakers at the crowd as the stage kept raising. When it stopped, Joseph looked it over. The stage now resembled some kind of robot on legs with speakers as arms!

"Did you do this?!" he asked with incredulity.

"Yup!" she beamed. "Took me almost a year of designing and building, but I'm happy with it!"

Vinyl brought up a record and put it down on one of the turntables with a spin to show off, flicking switches and turning knobs as the techno beat blasted out into the room. Blue lights emanated from the speaker-arms with the beat, wafting harmlessly over the crowd.

Joseph watched with all due excitement as the music began playing.

"Welcome fillies and gentlecolts there's no reason to scream, your Lunar Princess is back she's walking up on the scene..."

Nightmare Moon managed to speak to him just before the music got too loud. Just do what Vinyl does and you'll fit right in. Also, don't do anything to make a fool of yourself!

Joseph was never the kind to go out to a nightclub, often electing to spend his nights watching movies or playing video games. His intention tonight was to see the imposter, and now here he was standing before a building packed with ponies cheering him on. It filled him with a strong sense of pride and as the night dragged on he found himself enjoying the show, finally able to come out of his shell and have a good time.

Two hours into the dual performance of Joseph and Vinyl, the club had dwindled in size to half of what it was when Joseph arrived. By this stage, everybody had begun to make their way home in the early hours of the morning.

It wasn't until the last of the music had finished playing when Vinyl stopped it to make another announcement.

"Alright everypony, closin' time! Time to skedaddle home; it's almost sunrise!" That was met with a chorused "Aawwwww" from the crowd. "Now now, I've got to clean up and sleep myself, and I'm assuming Nightmare here needs to have her beauty rest too! I'll put on a final track, though. Last call for drinks too! Thirty minutes until close!" She turned towards Joseph. "Alright, come with me into the break room and lets talk."

Joseph followed Vinyl through the 'Employees Only' door, down the hall, and through the door to the end. They entered and the same stallion from before was sitting on one of the sofas while drinking a cup of coffee.

"Hey, Vinyl, how did the..." His sentence was cut short when he turned to look up to her, noticing Nightmare Moon standing at least two heads taller than Vinyl. "...show... go..." He stopped drinking his coffee, his jaw almost unhinging as it hit the floor from the spectacle of the ebony mare before him.

"Oh, it went great," she casually replied. "The mare I hired to play Nightmare Moon was in the restroom when we were checking the changing room, but it worked out even better! After I went out all dressed up, she barged in and literally stole the show! It couldn't have been more perfect!" she blurted.

"Well, uhh, heh," he began uneasily, "I'm glad everything worked out for the better?"

"Damn right it did, Neon!"

"Where did she even get that kind of a costume? And why isn't she wearing the one we provided? It looks way too real to be something like what you're wearing."

Both Vinyl and Neon looked at Joseph. "What?" he said. Internally he was thinking; 'Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit...'

"Where'd you get the costume?" Vinyl asked.

"Oh! Uhm, can you give me a minute to change back?"

"Uhhh, sure," she replied.

Joseph left the break room and went to the restroom, both to use it and replace the ring on his horn. He returned not two minutes later as his disguised self.

"Better," he stated when he walked back in. "The costume, right. It's a little ring I put on my horn. I figured that since Nightmare Night is on the way, I'd get something that makes a costume as real as can be, and not the cheap knockoff the bouncer was wearing," he said with a giggle. "And before you ask, no, I don't have a cutie mark yet. Please don't ask why." Vinyl laughed as Neon cracked a wide grin when Joseph mentioned the bouncer. "What's so funny?"

Neon said; "Well it was his last shift here. I had to let him go after he kept letting in too many minors." He glanced down at Joseph's rear. "Speaking of which, you'd be classified as a minor too without one. How old are you, exactly?"

"How old are you?” Joseph countered.

"Thirty-five. Vinyl's twenty-eight. We co-own this club together. I manage it and she hires the performance, or plays herself."

"I'm twenty-four," he replied.

Neon just arched an eyebrow at him. "You're lucky. Anyway, back to business. Let me pay you for tonight, alright?"

'I came here to see an imposter, now I'm getting paid for banging my head for two hours? Sweet.' "Heh, I won’t stop you."

He magicked a bag of bits from thin air and levitated it over to Joseph. He took the cloth bag with his magic, opening it up to see how much was inside. The condition of the bits left something to be desired in comparison to the ones Luna gifted him, but money was money.

"Hundred and fifty bits," Neon stated. "Standard fare for a performance here."

"Geezus," Joseph exclaimed, "you guys must rake it in!"

"We're the two best DJs this side of Equestria, of course we do!" Vinyl said proudly.

"Anyway, I'd better get home and sleep. Had a Nightmare that woke me up before, so I'm due to catch up."

"Listen, before you go, I've got another gig in Ponyville for the town's Nightmare Night festival. It would be wicked if you could come and do a repeat performance!" Vinyl practically pleaded.

Joseph didn't need to give it much though. "Sure, I don't see why not. I'll probably be there anyway because I've already been invited ahead of time."

"Score!"

"Also, bring your music robot... thing... It's too cool not to bring! I'm sure you could decorate it for the occasion."

"Oh, I already plan on it! I'll see you later..." Vinyl trailed off as she went to bid Joseph farewell using his name, but it occurred that they weren't introduced yet!

"Eclipse," Joseph finished.

"Eclipse, right," Vinyl said. "Is it just Eclipse?"

"Pretty much. Kinda like Madonna."

"What's a 'Madonna'?" Neon asked.

"Singer from where I'm from, but that's a digression for another day. Anyway, I'll catch you at the festival, Vinyl!"

"Have fun, Eclipse!"

Joseph exited the building with more ease than he did entering. Outside, the streets were quite bare, save for one or two he saw opening up their stores on his way home.

It wasn’t until he began walking down the street his house was on that a golden-yellow blur shot past him like a bullet, knocking him to one side of the street, which was then followed by a black blur thundering past him, seemingly chasing what shot past him a moment ago.

“The fuck was that? Did you catch what it was, Nightmare?”

Whatever it was, was too fast. So no.

Shrugging it off, Joseph made his way inside and back up to his bed to catch up on a few hours of sleep.

After all, how bad could it possibly be?

Author's Note

Some references, as well as hints at what Chrysalis is up to, can be a bit hard to figure out, but I have a reason. I like to encourage people to think about these things without dropping breadcrumbs that lead to the big reveal. On this occasion, you'd need prior knowledge of a certain movie and an understanding of Greek Mythos to figure out what's going on.

(If you figure things out, please use spoiler bars otherwise it'll ruin it for others.)

Also, I got the idea for Vinyl's transforming sound stage from DJ Stylbator's Music Mech from Samurai Jack!

17| Interlude 3: I don't want what she had...

Author's Note

The idea was to release this before the Christmas holiday period, then things happened and that plan went to shit. So, here you are.

Also, I'm in need of another editor. My go-to dude has become busy with exams and the like, so his time is going to be taken up by that for a while.

Ideally the person I'm looking for does critical-type analysis; questioning why this is written that way, and offering alternatives to better what's written, things like that. Secondarily, re-configuring sentences to make things less awkward. Thirdly comes spelling and grammar.

Also, blueberries :rainbowlaugh:

17| Interlude 3: I don't want what she had...

Celestia woke before she was due to raise the sun, intent on spending the time raising the sun and lowering the moon with Luna, as the regal sisters had so come to enjoy over the last week since Luna's return.

This morning, however, Luna was late in arriving to the dais overlooking the kingdom. Celestia decided to give it another two minutes to allow Luna a moment if she was indeed late for any reason.

She looked out over Canterlot laid out beneath her, yet her focus was on the door behind her. She expected it to click open and Luna to stroll through at any moment, but when the two minutes were up and another three had passed, Celestia's curiosity had been piqued.

Why was Luna running five minutes late? She had been on time every day up until now. Celestia decided it could wait no more and began lowering the moon to make way for the sun. Once the morning sun had risen, Celestia's spell would keep the sun in motion throughout the day as it passed over the land, only needing to be set once the spell's power waned.

She began to walk to Luna's bedchambers, her brow furrowed with concern.

Celestia’s walk there took her past some Solar Guards, and Luna's Night Guard as well; the stygian soldiers having been reinstated since Luna’s return. Both sets of guard politely greeted the Diarch with a courteous "Princess", accompanied by a short bow in her presence. Of course, she replied with a smile as warm as the rising sun, adding; "Good morning".

Normally doors that needed guarding, such as the ones to areas off-limits to the staff and general public, had a guard assigned to patrol the corridors to deter any would-be intruders. Whenever the castle played host to any important individuals, such as ambassadors, dignitaries, and nobles visiting from other countries, Celestia insisted two guards be stationed outside their door for security and protection. If one guard needed to leave for any reason, his comrade couldn't leave until the other returned, or a replacement was sent.

This remained true for the Princesses. Two Thestral guards stood stoically outside Luna's door, guarding it with pride and renewed purpose at having their beloved Princess back.

"Has my sister left her room at all this morning?" she asked, looking towards the Thestral on her right.

"No, Your Highness," he replied. "I've not heard anything. Although, she must've been awake to lower the moon." It was a fair guess on his behalf. He may not have seen Luna leave the room, but she could have teleported.

'I can't bear to tell them it was I that lowered the moon on account of her absence,' Celestia thought to herself. "If I may enter? I would like to check on her."

"Of course, Your Highness." They both gave Celestia a wide berth as she opened the door with her magic, closing it once she was inside.

Almost instantly, her eyes fell upon the bed, complete with a still-asleep Luna. She gave a small giggle, then bent down to pull the sheets up to Luna's neck.

"Take your time, Sister, I'll wait for you at breakfast," she said softly. However, it was just enough to stir Luna.

"T-Tia?"

"Somepony must be sleepy," she jested.

Luna's mouth transformed into a stupid-happy grin. "I love you..." she gleefully said, lowering her head to the pillow, shuffling around to get cosy. She relaxed, comfy with her position. It took but a moment for Luna to drop back off, falling asleep with the smile plastered from one ear to the other.

Celestia exited the bedroom, closing the door with a soft click. "Looks like she went back to sleep after lowering the moon," she confidently lied to the guards. They gave a curt, understanding nod at that, not saying anything in response. "When she wakes up, let her know I'll be in the dining hall, waiting on her for breakfast.”

"Of course, Your Highness." Nothing further was said, Celestia giving a smile and a grateful hum in lieu of actually saying 'thank you'.

Twenty minutes later, Celestia sat at the head of the grand dining table the castle used to play host to various functions. The room itself was ludicrously oversized for a dining hall, but the purpose in that was to give the guests present room to congregate in groups to talk about similar interests and so forth away from the table itself.

Celestia didn't really have a designated area that she ate breakfast in, so she often elected to have breakfast here. Sometimes, when Celestia felt like it, she would have breakfast brought to her room if she fancied breakfast in bed. It had certainly proved beneficial to use the dining hall before, though. Several times she had discussions with various nobles and dignitaries over breakfast and lunch, and used the table space to sprawl their papers and presentations on.

"Princess Celestia, your breakfast is ready," spoke one of the castle maids as she wheeled over a cart adorned with a large silver platter, covered with a lid to keep anything off of the food underneath.

"Ah, thank you, Sweet Leaf. I trust you made some of your well known tea?" Celestia asked hopefully.

"Oh, but of course!" Sweet Leaf happily exclaimed as she lifted the lid off the stainless steel plate.

On it lay two waffles, one with a square of butter and one with a dollop of cream and a thinly sliced strawberry, a small, two-ounce jug of maple syrup, and a sliced banana. Not what the common pony would expect a princess to eat, but the simplest breakfasts were often the tastiest. Off to the side was a steaming pot of tea, teacup, and some sugarcubes with small tongs.

"Perfect," Celestia said contentedly.

"You're welcome, your highness."

"You can just call me Celestia," she said with a smile. "I like to think of the castle staff as friends, but the newer members are so worried about offending me by not addressing me in a formal manner," Celestia finished with a small chuckle.

"Of course, prin- er, I mean Celestia," Sweet Leaf corrected. "Do you know where Luna is? Her breakfast is beginning to go cold."

Celestia wasn't quite sure what came over Luna to miss lowering the moon and thus cause her to sleep in. She found it mildly worrying, but wouldn't tell anyone lest they start spreading rumours. "She decided to sleep in after lowering the moon. I'll take it up to her when I'm done here." It would give her another opportunity to check up on Luna too.

"Alright then, Celestia." Sweet Leaf had to smile at that. It felt rather scandalous to be addressing the princess so informally!

She wheeled the cart back into the kitchen, bringing out Luna's breakfast and leaving it next to Celestia with the lid still on so it would keep the heat slightly longer.

It didn't take more than ten minutes for Celestia to finish eating. She levitated the tray off the cart and began to walk up to Luna's room. By the time she arrived, the meal had cooled only slightly, but Celestia used her magic to heat it so Luna would have a hot meal. Luna's breakfast was the same as what Celestia had, only with blueberries mixed in with the waffle batter.

With a smile to the guards, she softly knocked on the door, inching it ajar. "Luna, are you awake?" There was no response. "I brought you breakfast."

The tray was hastily yanked out of her magical grasp by Luna's own. A split second later, she heard the sound of the tray crashing on the other side of the room, its contents scattering everywhere.

"Luna? Are you alright? What was that fo–" The door was suddenly thrown open, Celestia being accosted by an extremely angry-looking Lunar Goddess. Luna used her magic to pin Celestia against the wall just on the inside of the door. The Thestral guards looked on with shock and mouths hung agape at the spectacle that had befallen them, unsure what to do. Their training didn’t cover what to do when one princess attacked another!

"You! Luna seethed venomously. "You sent me to the moon for a thousand years! Do you have any idea what it was like!?"

"Luna, I–"

Luna's put more strength behind her magic as the aura went from Celestia's chest to the base of her neck.

"A thousand years!" she echoed. "What did you think I was going to do for a thousand years!? Do you know what happens to ponies who get left all by their lonesome? They go insane!"

The guards began to step forward to intervene, but Celestia just waved them off with a hoof out of Luna’s view as Luna kept her deadly glare on Celestia. "A thousand years of loneliness... Dust... And..." Luna's aura blinked out as her face slowly transformed from one of rage, to one of sorrow. Celestia slumped forward, heart pounding, planting all four hooves on the ground as Luna fell forward, burying her head in Celestia's chest. "Can..." she began weakly, tears forming in the corner of her eyes. "Could you ever forgive me?" she asked, looking up to her sister.

"Luna? What's the matter? Are you alright?"

"I'm so sorry," she blubbered, "for all the trouble I caused all those years ago..."

"Shh shh shh," Celestia cooed softly, stroking Luna's mane. "It is I that should be apologising to you, dearest Sister. Had I given you the attention that you deserved, I wouldn't have had to–" Celestia was cut off by more incoherent babbling and sniffles.

Tears matted Luna's fur to her face as she sobbed profusely into Celestia's chest, staining her fur with the salty liquid. It mattered not; Celestia could always take a bath. Luna was upset, nay, distraught about something, and Celestia would do her best to fix it.

"Why don't I bring you some more breakfast and we can talk about it, hmm?" she suggested, trying to lighten the mood. "It's your favourite too! Blueberry waffles!"

"Y-yes p-please..." she weakly said.

Celestia turned to face the guard on the door's right, clicking her tongue and tossing her head to indicate to him to go to the kitchen and fetch another tray of food. He quickly scarpered off, not wanting to disappoint the princess. She turned to the other guard and said; "See if you can delay my session of court for a while. Say an urgent matter has come up if anypony asks."

"Right away, your highness." He turned and began legging it towards the throne room.

In the meantime, all Celestia could do was hold and comfort Luna, hoping she wouldn't have another angry outburst. It was extremely peculiar—and worrying to say the least—how Luna went from angry and violent to sad within the span of about two seconds.

18| Is it hot in here or is it just me?

Author's Note

This was supposed to be a part of Interlude 3. On that note, this chapter take place during the same morning.

Also, yay for 85,000 words! I'm thrilled that this story is become so large! Expect it to surpass 100,000 words!

There were two new people that edited this for me on account of my usual go-to guy being busy, so please any excuse any change in quality.

18| Is it hot in here or is it just me?

Heat.

Not the kind when you burn yourself on a hot skillet, but rather the kind when the sun outside is hot enough to cause sweltering temperatures within Joseph's bedroom.

Drenched from how much he was sweating, Joseph peeled himself away from his sweat-soaked linen prison as he groggily woke. Sitting up, he looked out the window at the sky, seeing nothing but the sun casting it's ungodly hot rays into his room.

Sighing in defeat from the temperature, Joseph flopped back down onto the bed spread-eagled as he groaned; "Hooooot...."

Tis the season, Nightmare Moon greeted, although with an undertone Joseph couldn't quite place.

"It was fine yesterday, so how did it go from pleasant to 'I'M STANDING ON THE FRICKIN' SUN GET ME OUT OF HERE' in less than 24 hours?"

Celestia controls the sun. Blame her if you must.

"Yeah, well... I've got better things to worry about," Joseph said, eventually electing to roll out of bed. First thing's first: he needed a shower.

A cold one.

Badly.

Despite that, he headed down into the kitchen to see if the food he bought earlier in the week was still there. He opened the fridge to peer inside, and what greeted him was... less than ideal. The tomatoes had gotten frostbite, while some of the other fruits and veggies—cucumber, lettuce, carrots etc—had all begun to grow mould in some shape or another.

The spots of what was there could still be removed and the rest eaten. That would mean Joseph would need to eat almost a week's worth of food in a day, which would be unlikely. Not the case if he had a big enough appetite from the hunger-inducing herb he wished he had.

Even the fish looked like it had it. He picked up the fruit etc to throw in the bin, and when he picked up the fish, the paper slid off it. The fish's oils had leaked out of it. Ew.

Right... Shower now, food later. Hopefully he wouldn't get carted off to Ponyville anytime soon, so he thought he'd try getting another weeks worth and then attempt to make it the problem of whomever pulls him away from the house for any extended period of time. At least it was worth a shot.

Once in the bathroom he turned on the water to test it with his... hoof... before getting in to make sure he didn’t have a repeat performance with the scalding water. The temperature cool enough for the hot day, but not uncomfortably cold, Joseph got in and began to slowly turn the temperature down to really cool himself off. Spending a few minutes just sitting on the floor of the cubicle while letting the cold water cascade over him really did wonders for his mood, and the temperature.

Sufficiently woken up, yet with no food or coffee, Joseph decided to get some breakfast at a cafe then do his food run. He didn't bother towelling off, instead letting the cold water cling to his coat to keep him cool for as long as possible. Well, at least until the bloody heat dried him off.

It didn't last long.

Five minutes after he stepped out the door, the water dried, leaving his coat slightly frizzled. Had he bothered to dry off, the hair of his coat would've been normal. Oh well, at least he enjoyed five minutes of chill in the heat, even if he got a remark from a passing stallion about 'sexy wet-mane'.

In retrospect, it would be funny to see their reactions on telling those that would hit on Joseph that he wasn't who he appeared to be. At least in gender.

Nonetheless, Joseph needed to find some place to eat. His stomach was expressing its disapproval from the lack of food.

In his journey into the middle of Canterlot Town Square, where he suspected a lot of the businesses would be, he couldn't help but notice there were a lot of couples lingering about. Some were openly snogging each other, others were enjoying a romantic morning together, then there were others that were being playful with each other: hip-checking and flicking each other with their tails with no concern for their surroundings. He couldn't figure out why, so minus his curiously raised eyebrow, he continued on with his day.

'What is all this about?' he asked Nightmare.

Couples enjoying each other's company, perhaps?

'Looks like they're enjoying each other's company a bit too much.'

You're one to talk. Your memories have provided me with more than enough authority to say that you'd covertly watch couples. Especially on that thing you call a 'computer'.

Nightmare got him there. She knew he was blushing, but both of them wisely decided to not say anything more on the topic.

Further down the road, a quaint little coffee shop caught his eye, and the storefront menu said they had sandwiches and the like for sale. Perfect breakfast food.

The business at the beginning of the day was steady; about a third of the tables had single ponies or couples sitting at them enjoying their morning while they either read the paper over a cuppa, or were getting a bite to eat before they were due to start work.

The glass food-display cabinet had a myriad of sandwiches in them. Sadly, none of them had any meat. That meant no bacon and egg sandwiches, or satay chicken, much to Joseph's annoyance. He eyed a sauteed onion sandwich with lettuce, tomato, and various other fillings. Figuring it would suffice in lieu of chicken, he elected to buy it and a strong cup of coffee.

"See something you like?" asked the chocolate-brown cashier.

"Uh, yeah," Joseph began, still waking up. "That sandwich"—he pointed a hoof at the one he wanted in the cabinet—"and a coffee strong enough to wake me up."

The cashier raised an intrigued eyebrow at him. "Strong enough to wake you up, eh?” he said with a chuckle, giving Joseph's tired form a quick glance up and down. "Alright, it's your funeral. One Death Coffee coming up."

The first half of the cashier's sentence made Joseph crack a small grin. The second half made his eyebrow raise. Nonetheless, he paid for the sandwich and drink and went to find a table. A few bites of his breakfast later, the steaming cup was brought over to him. He eyed it with all deserved tentative curiosity, wondering what would happen. Death Coffee? He hadn't heard of that before, and even the barista that made it had a look on his face.

Barring how hot it was, he blew off some of the radiant heat and took a sip. Wasn't too bad, but could do with some sugar.

He ate and drank in silence, a forlorn expression painted all across his face. It had taken a while for the magnitude of his situation to sink in, but there was another aspect Joseph hadn't considered: how much longer would he be stuck here? For the rest of his life? How long do these ponies live for anyway? Do they have the same lifespan as humans? That'd be something he'd need to ask Twilight.

His thoughts were interrupted by a shrill, sharp buzzing off to his right, followed by a pop and sizzle. He turned to look, seeing a tan stallion with a slightly scruffy brown mane with what looked like an eight inch rod of melted steel.

"What's that thing?" Joseph asked.

"It's a..." The stallion began, pausing mid sentence to pick up another rod. "...part of a project I'm working on. Photonic resonance barrier."

"Uh huh," Joseph nodded, "I'll just pretend I'll know what that means."

He looked over at Joseph, noticing his expression, his own immediately softening into sympathy from the stressed-addled one from the frustration of the work. "Are you alright?" he asked. "You seem a little..." His eyes carefully traced Joseph up and down, seemingly studying him. "...lost, I want to say?"

"You have no idea," Joseph replied through an exhale, taking another sip of the coffee. When was this stuff supposed to kick in anyway?

The stallion put all his bits and bobs in a satchel under his chair, bringing it over to Joseph's table, much to his chagrin. He put the bag underneath the seat opposite Joe and sat down to join him.

"Is it you who's lost, or have you lost someone?"

The question, coming from a complete alien and stranger, made Joseph shift uncomfortably in his seat, eyes looking down at the half-eaten sandwich. He simply didn't answer, opting to ignore the stranger.

The stallion, having no sense of personal space, continued to pester Joseph. "I want to say parents, maybe?"

"Do you actually mind?" Joseph snapped, careful not to disturb the peace of the cafe with an outburst. The stallion was somewhat taken aback by this. After all, he was just trying to be friendly.

"Alright," he conceded, "I'll go. Before I do, if it's any consolation, there's no force in the universe that can keep loved ones separated. Everyone find ways of reuniting with each other. Trust me, I know this all too well." And without another word, he grabbed his bag and left.

Joseph dwelled on the thought a little bit more. In a way, it was slightly comforting to know the stallion sincerely meant what he said, to know he'd experienced bereavement too. To console someone you hardly knew over the loss of a loved one is an act of kindness, and Joseph hoped his mum and dad were better off than he was.

"How was the coffee?" the cashier asked. Joseph had stacked his plates and brought them up to the front, rather than having someone come and collect them.

"I don't feel any different. Still tired, I guess."

The chocolate-brown stallion shot him a confused look. "Nopony has had one of those and not been wired before! It's got four times the caffeine a normal cup has! Why has it not done anything to you?"

"Heck if I know. With that in mind, if you ever run into someone named 'Pinkie Pie', under no circumstances are you to give her any of this."

"...Why?" he tentatively asked.

"She's as wired as anyone will ever be. Period."

"Well, uh, thanks. I guess?"

"Anyway, thanks and have a good day," he finished, dropping a few bits in the tip jar on his way out. It was always polite to tip. If there was a tip jar on the front counter, he was sure to place a few bucks in it. Most people didn't realise that 'tip' is an acronym meaning 'To Insure Promptness'. At least, that's what he thought.

The breakfast helped to give him a bit of energy for the day, although maybe it was a mistake ordering a hot drink instead of something cold, like an iced coffee. Would they still use the Death Coffee in those?

The next place on his trip was the market where he bought his first load of groceries that ended up going the way of the dodo. It took him a while going down a few of the streets until he found the one that he remembered. He let out a grateful sigh, thankful he didn't have to aimlessly wander around for any longer.

When he walked in through the sliding doors, he was greeted by the same mare whom he spoke to on his first visit.

"Oh, hello!" she greeted. "How are we today? Handling heat well?"

"Yesterday was fine," he replied. "I don't know how it became so frickin' hot all of a sudden. I hate summer."

The mare's blank stare suggested to Joseph that something she said went right over his head. Outside of her asking how he was handling the temperature, what else could she have meant?

He went around the aisles collecting largely the same things, in addition to a few extras: bread, milk, eggs etc. He even found some kind of spread for toast that looked similar to Nutella from Earth. He bought that too, figuring he could cook something delicious with it.

"Word of advice," the cashier began, "don't let any of the stallions get to you. They tend to get a bit frisky."

"Oh trust me, I dumped the contents of a teapot in addition to the sodden tea leaves over someone's head because they tried hitting on me. Said they'd make my cutie mark, them."

She stifled a cute giggle behind her hoof, glancing at Joseph with an all too knowing smile. "In any case, I hope the rest of your day is... enjoyable."

With an errant roll of his eyes, and abstaining from saying anything else, Joseph paid for his selection and left. He didn't know what it was, but the conversation with the cashier didn't sit quite right with him. He knew that Nightmare Moon knows what's going on, but she was the kind of person—or pony rather— that, once you spent enough time around, could accurately discern whether or not they were going to tell you what they meant. In most cases, it would be for their amusement and/or to keep antagonising the target of the joke, all in good fun of course.

It took a bit of effort, but Joseph managed to magik his shopping bags off to his pocket. Unlike his bit bag, the shopping bags were a lot more sizeable, and thus trickier to magic away.

'I don't understand why, when I went to the bar the other week, the alcohol hit me, but today, the coffee didn't do anything,' he said to Nightmare. Figuring he didn't have anything else he needed to buy or get done in town, he began making his way back home. 'I know you can't suppress the effects of caffeine since you've no control over my bodily functions as opposed to whatever you're doing inside my head.'

There are some things my—Nightmare corrected—body metabolises faster than others. Alcohol is not one of them, yet caffeine is.

'...That's stupid.'

Be that as it may, you'll just have to learn to cope without any energy supplements, Nightmare Moon finished.

Again Joseph rolled his eyes, although with disdain this time as opposed to annoyance.

He didn't manage to get a minute down the road towards home when a passing stallion, walking in the opposite direction, brushed his tail over Joseph's hindquarters. He jumped, caught completely off guard by the sudden contact. He turned to see who it was.

"Hey there gorgeous, how about you and I—" The stallion caught sight of Joseph's downright poisonous stare, almost visibly shaken by it.

"Do that again and I'll make you regret it," he seethed.

"Alright, alright," the stallion relented. "Sheesh, mares..."

Joseph let the passing comment slide. How many had tried hitting on him since he got here? It's not something he'd care to think about, let alone keep tabs on. With a scowl, he kept walking towards home, although electing to take the remainder of the journey through a side street. That way there would be less stallions to bother him, and while he had the right idea, it only partially helped his problem. While only two more made advances, it was less than what would have happened had he taken the more crowded route home.

It was a simple matter of staring deadly stares at the unwanted attention before continuing on with his day.

To his surprise, he saw Vinyl coming down the road towards him! She beamed a smile at Joseph, pushing her glasses down the bridge of her nose slightly to double check it was, in fact, him. "Eclipse!" she cheerily greeted before nudging the glasses back up to their original position. Joseph managed to catch a brief look at her eyes, and oh wow those eyes. A soft magenta colour, he found those eyes to be rather alluring, oddly enough. "What are you doing out today?"

"Eh, shopping," he replied.

"Well alright! Sorry to cut things short, but I'm in a hurry to get to the club to set things up for tonight. I'll see you at the Nightmare Night party in Ponyville soon!"

She cantered on past Joseph with a friendly wave. He smiled contentedly at the memory of their performance last night, which made him look forward to the aforementioned party.

Part of him wondered why he was hesitant towards the stallions, yet Vinyl seemed to captivate him. He didn't understand why he didn't experience this on stage with Vinyl. He tried reasoning that they're miniature horses, so he shouldn't be finding any of them even remotely attractive!

He couldn't help but imagine those eyes rolling over and looking into his own, her mussed-up hair and the bedsheets—he mentally snapped himself out of the provocative thought. It wasn't right!

At the same time, Nightmare Moon was sniggering under her breath. 'Go suck a fat one!' he inwardly shouted.

You are in a better position to do that than I.

'I am not, under any circumstances, putting one of those anywhere near my mouth!

You say mou—

'Or anywhere else for that matter!' he quickly amended.

Would you rather the thought of the two of you caressing each other's folds with your divine tongues, then, hmm? Nightmare Moon salaciously taunted.

That made Joseph stop in his tracks, crimson painting his cheeks. Good thing he wasn't put in a stallion's body. Not even the baggiest of pants—if there were such a thing as pants in this world—would have hidden the result.

He kept walking home, too embarrassed to say another word, and kept his gaze firmly affixed on the ground beneath him.

Fortunately, there wasn't any other run-ins with any more stallions, or mares for that matter, which was a good thing for Joseph. Had someone else tried being forward, he'd've likely punched them. Though it was more fortunate on their behalf than Joseph's that he didn't have to inflict bodily harm at any more unwanted attention out of frustration at the frequency of it happening.

Joe got home safe and sound, and on closing the door behind him, exhaled a breath he didn't realise he was holding. He went into the kitchen to put away his purchases, but getting them out of his pocket proved a bit more challenging. By way of comparison, it was like trying to thread a sausage through the eye of a needle.

With much difficulty and coaxing from Nightmare Moon suggesting various ways he could accomplish the task, like holding your stool for too long and finally getting home to use the bathroom, the paper bags shredded themselves and the contents scattered everywhere like confetti at one of Pinkie's Parties.

He grumbled with anger at that, forcing himself to pick everything up from both the table and floor as he put them away. He just had to worry about washing off the items that weren't wrapped with plastic, namely the vegetables.

"How could this day get any worse..." he mumbled.

If I might interject on a completely unrelated topic? Nightmare Moon cheekily ventured.

'Oh here we go...' "What?" he seethed.

One minute later...

"I hate you, and this planet so fucking much right now."

19| Mage's Horn

One week later, the day before Nightmare Night...

The Water Supply Network for Canterlot is a well maintained system, getting their water from mountain glaciers and pumping it in from surrounding underground springs.

Every two months for about a week, the treatment plant has to carefully monitor supply and demand.

After all, when half the population is perpetually hot for that week, there's going to be a lot of demand for cold water.

Sitting at one of the distribution terminals, Glacier Sparkles, a maintenance mare for the distribution plant, was being as attentive as ever. As she scrolled through the live feed, she noticed a particular street of Canterlot among the upper middle class that was using more water than the surrounding neighbourhood.

"Hey, Gleaming, come check this out," she called to her co-worker, Gleaming Springs.

"What is it?" he answered back, trotting over to her side.

"One of the houses along this street"—she pointed at the street's name on the monitor—"has an increased drain on the cold water. I can't pinpoint which one though."

Gleaming carefully eyed the monitor. "Hmmm... What do you think it could be?" he asked.

"Given the 'season', I'm sure you can guess what."

"What about any other causes?" Gleaming replied with the slightest hint of annoyance. He was trying to be professional! "Leaky taps, faulty readouts et cetera..."

"Uh, heh, right..." Glacier replied somewhat sheepishly. She turned back to the monitor and scrolled through some more information being displayed. "Uhm, well it's not a leaky tap; that would only be a negligible increase.” She eyed the data for about half a minute more, considering the options. "It could be a faulty readout, but until we send somepony to check the metres on the houses, we can only speculate."

"Well thanks for volunteering," he remarked with a condescending pat of his hoof on her shoulder. "Why don't you go check out all the houses on the street while I keep an eye on things here, hmm?"

"But..." Glacier balked in disbelief. She was at a loss as to how Gleaming interpreted her statement as volunteering to solve the problem.

"Look at it like this: you can take your lunch break too! Now go take one of the charts so you can record the levels at each house. If it's a faulty reading and not somepony using the cold water copiously, then we'll need to recalibrate some of the equipment."

"I've always worked inside the plant!" the mare protested.

"Well looks like you've got a field assignment. Now scram!"

"You can't do this to me!"

"Of course I can; I'm your supervisor!"

With the sun beating down on her, Glacier Sparkles began the task of knocking on each and every door on the street to find the house in question.

"I'm with Canterlot Water Distribution. We're experiencing a large drain of water in this region and I've been sent to locate and assess the cause," she'd explain.

She went by each house recording and comparing the readout from the terminal to the house's water metre. Everything was reading normal so far. Even though the readouts were slightly above average when compared to other months, that much was understandable.

It wasn't until she got to house number fifty-seven that Glacier ran into a bit of a problem.

Knocking at the door, she was answered by a rather angry and loud; "What?!" bellowing down from upstairs. Taken aback by the response, she prepared to recite her spiel. She heard what sounded like someone talking to themselves from the other side of the door.

"What do you mean I can't go out there like this? It's just water!" Several seconds passed before she heard a dawning; "Oh!", followed by; "Hold on a second..."

The sounds of hoofsteps going back upstairs then down again, then a moment later the door opened up to reveal a dark-blue, blank flank mare with a purple mane and tail. She was completely sodden with water, mane plastered to her neck and head.

After hearing her introduction, Joseph gave her a bit of a blank stare. "Sorry, but I don't know where the metre is. Kind of new here."

"Oh, no problem, it's usually out the back or front. I didn't notice it coming up the steps, so would you mind if I come in to have a look out the back for it?"

"Uh, yeah I guess..." He opened the door wider to let Gleaming in and closed it behind her. He followed her out to the back of the house.

He'd never been out the back yet, oddly enough. It was just big enough to fit a barbeque, table and chairs, and a clothes line. Gleaming looked up and down for the metre, her eyes settling on a non-descript box attached to the house. She used her magic to pop off the cover and look at the numbers inside. She jotted down a few numbers as Joseph watched on, and eventually she raised a curious eyebrow towards him.

"What?" he asked tentatively.

"I think I might have found the problem."

"...Ok?" Joseph said, confused.

"Either this unit is faulty, there's something wrong with the equipment at the plant, or you've been using more than your fair share of the cold water."

Not unlike being caught red-handed, Joseph's gut sank. She just knew, going off of how wet she was, and why.

Trying, and almost failing to keep herself from laughing, yet remaining professional about the situation, Gleaming explained; "Look, I can tell my supervisor that the unit was faulty and I managed to fix it. If you can return the favour and not live in the shower for the rest of the week, then we're even. Kay? That way it saves both of us the embarrassment, me more so for telling my boss what really happened."

As stiff as a board, screaming obscenities in his head, Joseph simply nodded and swallowed thickly.

"I'll see myself out." Before she left, she paused and spoke. "Can I give you some advice?" Joseph blinked, too mortified to say anything. "I don't mean to be rude, but from one mare to another, just water doesn't cut it. You need some shampoo too. Musk is radiating off of you like freshly cooked bread."

With Nightmare Moon laughing at his situation, Gleaming calmly put the panel back, picked up her things, and left, but not before seductively trailing her tail across his muzzle. Joseph was still rooted in place when he heard the door close, and only then did he let out a breath he didn't realise he was holding. Eyes as wide as saucers, he was having trouble processing what happened. That, and all he could smell was crisp petrichor.

As smugly as she could, dismissing what happened for the most part, Nightmare Moon said; Do you want to continue practicing the teleportation spell? Or do you want to use shampoo this time?

"Uhm, is there even shampoo?"

Are you serious? Nightmare replied with no attempt to disguise her contempt. You've been spending ninety-five percent of your time during the day in there.

"Oh go shove a cactus up your arse, it was just a passing thought. For all I know there could have been some lying around before I got here."

Not likely.

With his shower located at the back of the house, Joseph got the bright idea to check the windows of neighbouring houses. He craned his head over the left hand fence to try and see if there was anything sitting on the sill of the upper-left hand window, where his shower was located, but there was nothing. The right hand window, however, yielded different results. He saw two bottles, although he couldn't tell what they were.

Are you sure you don't want to keep practicing with the bread first? Nightmare asked.

"Continually teleporting bread doesn't do it any favours. I need to go out at some point, and I don't want to be... unintentionally inviting."

Have it your way. Just remember what I told you: visualise reaching out and taking it. The more concentration you put into it, the more effective it'll be. Magic is a conduit with which unicorns interact with the physical world.

He focused on the left hand bottle, closing his eyes and letting his horn glow dark blue. He visualised reaching out and taking the bottle off a shelf. Teleporting was a rather finicky thing; there's just so many variables that could go wrong. Nightmare Moon told him about the vast reserves of magic her body holds, so channeling that to do something specific has proven to be rather difficult.

Practicing on the bread seemed to help, as the bottle suddenly materialised before his face. Startled slightly, his magic cut out and the bottle dropped. With a thoroughly pleased grin on his face, he picked up the bottle and discovered it to be almost what he was after: two-in-one shampoo and conditioner. Joseph figured it'd do, so he went back up to his shower to expunge the unwanted odour from his person.

You didn't strike me as a thief, Nightmare stated with a sense of genuine surprise.

Joseph just shrugged indifferently. "I don't care; I got what I wanted and nobody got hurt. Besides, I need it. Whoever this belonged to probably knows how to handle walking through town in this state better than I do."

From being stuck in the house most of the week with only a few books to pass the time, he needed to get out of the house and get some more food. And shampoo.

Believing himself to be sufficiently cleansed of any unwanted odours, Joseph was heading down the stairs when a knock came at the front door.

'This had better not be water-related...' Joseph mused with agitation.

On opening the door, there stood a regal, white unicorn guard, a depiction of Celestia's sun emblazoned onto the crest of his armour. "Are you..." He magicks a scroll and looks it over. "...Eclipse?"

"Who wants to know?"

"I have a Royal Summons here for you." Magicking one scroll away, he poofs another into existence and levitates it over to Joseph.

He couldn't help but notice the fine silk ribbon keeping the scroll shut, sealed with a wax seal. "Is this like a subpoena or something?"

"Ex...cuse me?"

"...Don't worry. So, am I in trouble or something?"

"Miss, if that were the case, I'd be personally escorting you to Her Highness. No, a Summons is a personal request by Princess Celestia if she wishes to speak with somepony. In this case, you."

Joseph broke the wax seal and unfurled the scroll, glancing the brief message over. Sure enough, it bore a simple message requesting 'Eclipse's' presence at the palace at 'her' earliest convenience.

"Well, I'm not doing anything, so I might as well go." His gaze turned from the scroll to the guard, noticing him still standing at the doorstep. "Can I help you?"

The guard shook his head, as if bringing himself out of a daydream. "I could show you there if you like?"

"I know the way, but thanks anyway." Joseph couldn't help but wonder what the guard was still doing there. "...I still stink, don't I?"

Somewhat flustered, the guard took a short, curt bow, and said; "If you can find your own way, then I'll see myself off." He quickly turned tail and cantered away.

'Time for yet another goddamn shower...'

Forty-five minutes later, Joseph found himself walking up to the steps of the palace, and atop the stairs leading up to the massive doors stood two guards: an earth pony on the right, and a pegasus on the left. Both bore the same exact armour the unicorn did, except one stallion was grey and the other, white. They both held spears in their left and right hooves respectively.

"Pass?" the earth pony said in a monotoned, commanding voice.

"Don't mind if I do." Being cheeky, and choosing to interpret their question as a statement, Joseph boldly strode up the stairs. The guards were quick to cross their spears to prevent any further advancement.

"For citizens, entry to the palace is only by written decree of the princess," the pegasus declared.

Joseph magicked his scroll out and held it in front of the earth pony with a smug grin. 'I'd like to see you do that, you pretentious twat.'

"Proceed." The guards parted their spears, the pegasus pushing open the door with his hind leg.

It was relatively easy for Joseph to find his way to the throne room, stopping once to ask a maid if he was on the right path. He couldn't help but think if the maid's outfits were for either practicality or aesthetic appeal. Either way he wasn't complaining.

Confused as to why a summons would be needed, he strode into the throne room. Princess Celestia sat atop her throne, with Luna sitting off to her left. Why Luna didn't have her own throne he didn't know. Probably due to the fact she essentially got released from jail the other week, and the masons hadn't the time to make one. Once the doors shut behind him, save for the one guard he remembered from a previous encounter, it was just the three of them.

"Welcome! How have you been finding everything these last couple weeks?"

'All this for a social call?' "Uhm, fine, I guess. Despite my... unique... circumstances, never better," Joseph replied dryly.

"Is everything alright?" she asked with concern. "Nopony has heard from you the last week so it behooved me to check up on you."

"Two things. One: I think we both know the answer to that. Two: you wanted to check up on me, but you made not only me, but one of your guards do all the legwork?"

"A princess out walking through Canterlot without a contingent of guards is certainly to turn heads, and attract the intention of ponies with ill intent, and those whom can be a bit over-zealous about seeing a princess."

"And yet you see nothing wrong with Nightmare Moon, AKA myself, using a disguise no less, parade around town?" Celestia blinked, lacking an immediate response. "Get your own disguise; it's that simple!"

"One does not simply take an unannounced leave of absence from the castle without informing those needed about her whereabouts," Luna piped up.

"All that tells me is you two don't get out often, do you?"

Celestia awkwardly shifted in her seat. Crickets.

"Are you sure nothing is wrong? You seem rather agitated by how you're speaking to us."

Joseph rolled his eyes. "Oh sure, I've just spent a week holed up in my house running the shower because I reek!"

"Yes, well, you've got nopony to blame, barring Nightmare Moon."

"Nope, just you two."

Joseph got what he was after: shocked glances from both princess. Having the opportunity to talk extensively with Nightmare Moon the last several days, he was ready to give them an ear full.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Well, primarily you," Joseph said, pointing at Celestia, sitting on his haunches.

"Are you accusing me of your happening?"

"All three of you. Eighty-five-percent you, five percent Nightmare Moon, and the rest lay on Luna's shoulders."

"You would do wise to watch your tone with my sister," Luna challenged.

"Oh, but I'm just getting started! I'll just cut it back to the bare bones." He turned to Celestia. "Why did you send Luna to the moon?"

"Is this a trick question?"

"No, it's a simple one."

"My sister attempted to usurp the throne by way of transforming into Nightmare Moon."

"Now, elaborate on that," Joseph replied with a wide grin.

Celestia cocked an eyebrow. "Something tells me you already know the answer to these questions, and are only asking me them only because you want me to say them."

"Here's what fucks me off about you, princess. I talked at length with Nightmare Moon about everything. Everything! She was there long before either you or Luna realised. Now, here's my understanding of things.”

Joseph continued. "Luna wanted her opportunity for the populace to notice what she had to offer at night. She was upset that everyone slept through her night while they enjoyed what you had to offer. Luna's resentment was born of the bitterness that grew because nobody couldn't truly appreciate how beautiful the night could be in comparison to your day. Can you honestly blame her for wanting to keep the moon up for a little longer so everyone could admire what they'd otherwise sleep through?"

"In hindsight, no."

"So why wouldn't you let her?"

"The cycle of day and night was and is a strictly maintained cycle."

"That's just telling Luna that you care less about her than you do your own ideals! You did next to nothing to help with Luna's depression," he said with a stomp of his hoof.

"I love my sister; I would never deliberately do something like that!"

"Deliberately," Joseph echoed. "Yet, you did. Things got worse, and worse, and worse. She only ever wanted one thing: to experience what you do on a daily basis. You forced her hand; how else was Luna supposed to make ponies notice? The shadow you cast from keeping the sun out kept her in the dark, and in turn, you cast yours over her.”

"It would be wise if you chose your next words very carefully," Celestia sneered.

"It makes sense that your sun tattoo is on your ass. It covers fuckin' everything!"

"How dare you!" Celestia snapped. "I had nothing but good will in calling you here, but now you're making unfounded accusations at me?"

"The complete and utter opposite of 'unfounded'. It's largely because of your own negligence that Luna did what she did." He turned to Luna. "You're not out of the line of fire yet." He turned back to Celestia. "There were multiple ways that you could have handled it, yet you let the situation devolve enough so she would ask for help from a being as evil as Nightmare Moon? How bad do you think her mental state must have been?

"And now look at her! You broke her heart; she turned evil; you banished her for a thousand years, and I'd wager that a good portion of people still don't know she's back. Luna even has a widely celebrated holiday to remind her of the mistakes she's made!

"There's two sides to everyone: one they want to show, and one they want to hide. You've demonstrated your ineptitude towards your sister, thus showing you care less about what others hold dear to them than you do yourself. Luna's got nothing to hide, she only wanted to show everyone what she could do. That makes her better than you.

"And you!" He turned to Luna. "Instead of going bat shit crazy, you could have just left. Get up and go. People don't realise how much they appreciate something until it's gone. If you had left, Celestia would have realised her mistake. Stay away, let it sink in to her how how much of a cunt Celestia was!"

"Stay your tongue, or I'll have you arrested for treason!" Celestia snarled.

"Treason?!" Joseph asked with humoured incredulity. "Firstly, if someone's a cunt, you call them a cunt! Secondly, I have no loyalty to either of you, and the two of you hold no sovereignty over me, either! Arresting me for treason is like giving a jam sandwich to a drowning rabbit. Are you that much of a muppet to do so?"

Celestia's horn flashed for a moment and the door burst open. "Guards, take him! Any final words?" she asked as the guards surrounded Joseph to take him to the dungeon.

"Going to detain me for freedom of speech?" Joseph quirked.

"Come on ma'am, that's enough."

"Bangers and Mash."

The guard looked at Joseph with confusion. "Ma'am?"

"Bubbles and Squeak."

"Excuse me?"

"Smoked Eel Pie."

"Miss..." the guard cautioned.

"Haggis!"

"That is it! Come with us!" the guards roared before dragging Joseph out of the throne room, kicking and screaming.

He turned back to shout in Celestia's direction; "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts, here they are standing in a row! Small ones big ones, some as big as your ass!"

That... was... brilliant, Nightmare Moon awarded.

Joseph caused quite the stir while being carried off to the dungeon. Celestia followed behind, making reassurances that everything will be fine.

Celestia stood at the end of the concrete corridor (of which has a dozen cells; six on one side with the others opposite), watching as the guards effectively threw Joseph into a cell.

Joseph fell to the floor with an 'oof', grunting in discomfort as he righted himself into a sitting position as the door slammed shut behind him. Next came hoofsteps, Celestia walking tentatively up to Joseph's cell.

"So I guess you are," Joseph remarked.

"Never before have I seen such blatant disrespect for royalty."

"Hey, sunny buns, respect is earned, not freely given. Like I said; after my chat with Nightmare, that made me lose all respect for you. Now you've essentially done to me what you did to Luna."

"The cell is enchanted too, so forget about using magic. Your level of magic is no hope in getting out of there. And so long as you're in there, Chrysalis is going to have to go through me to get to you. At that stage I would have thwarted what she's planning."

Joseph leaned forward and draped his forelegs over the middle vertical, wrought-iron bar of the cell door. "That's the beauty of it," he began with a victorious grin, "she's going to have to go. Through. You," he finished, jabbing his right hoof at Celestia with enunciation. "With you out of the picture, Luna will get her chance in the spotlight, and you will have weakened Chrysalis enough for me to deal with. You're such a team player."

Celestia disregarded Joseph furthermore. She turned to the same guard, of whom was originally in the throne room when Joseph got there. "I'm posting you outside the door." She gestured with a nod of her head at the door at the end of the hall. "I'll be back down tomorrow to let hi-her, out."

"Understood, your majesty."

With the cell empty not a moment later, Joseph reclined onto the wall-mounted, fold-down cot, folding his forehooves behind his head and crossing his legs. He grinned. 'I certainly don't have the magic, but Nightmare does.' he mused to himself. 'Hey, Moonie, how's Chrysalis' spell doing?'

If what you’re asking is if she's come or gone, I am unable to tell.

'Alright good, now here's the deal. Now that we've bought some time where Chrysalis can't get us, you're going to help me sort out a few things and get out of here by the time Celestia gets back, so here's what we're going to do...'

Quite a ways off from Canterlot, in one of the many valleys gouged into a mountainside, a lone, aqua-blue unicorn strode, struggling somewhat and pulling a cart in her wake.

"Trixie has made a wrong turn," she grumbled.

The cart's wheels clattered and jarred against the rocky ground. Luckily, the contents of the cart were kept secure. From walking for over a day in such rocky terrain, it had marred Trixie's hooves, the tips of her hooves beginning to split and chip.

"Trixie should have gotten new shoes too."

Trixie stopped for a moment, unharnessed the wagon, and went to a box attached to the cart between the wooden arms. She pulled out a map and compass, took a seat, and began to get her bearings.

"Trixie is... another half day's walk north from Ponyville." As she was putting the map and compass away, a baseball-sized rock rolled down one of the steep inclines of where she’d walked, catching her attention. Her head spun on a pivot to watch the rock roll away harmlessly in another direction. Somepony had knocked it loose.

"Who goes there?!" she screamed.

A pony peaked his head over one of the boulders, cocking its head at Trixie. He leaped into the air and glided down to the mare. He was donned in royal guard armour, putting Trixie's nerves at ease.

"Morning Glory. I'm with the Canterlot Royal Guard."

"Trixie is not lost!" Trixie immediately defended. "Trixie still has time to get to Ponyville by tomorrow for her performance!" she finished proudly.

"Tomorrow? Miss, that's today!" Morning Glory lied.

"What?!"

"Twilight Sparkle, the organiser for the event, said you were running late, so she sent two guards to search you out to hurry you back to Ponyville for your scheduled performance!"

Trixie balked. "It's a half a day's walk from here; I'll never make it on time!"

Morning Glory just shook his head. "If you get in your cart, I'll hook myself and my partner up, I can fly us there in two hours." He put the edge of his hoof in his mouth, giving a sharp, piercing whistle that echoed throughout the valley. Several moments later, a grey spec could be seen flying in the distance. "Make yourself comfortable, my partner is on his way."

"Trixie is thankful for your assistance!"

"The pleasure is all mine. I've got a feeling that the show you'll put on will be remembered for years to come."

Trixie proudly bounced her hair with a hoof. "You must have heard of Trixie, then," she said with a smug grin.

"Oh, of course I've heard of you! Your talent for illusion reminds me of my mother!"

"Are you calling Trixie old?"

"I meant no offense. You two just have similar talents, that's why you reminded me of her."

The other pegasus guard landed on the ground with a thud, the metal of his shoes clinking on the gravel as he walked to strap himself in next to Glory. "Let's go. By the time we get there, you'll have plenty of time to set up before everything kicks off properly," he said.

Trixie was quick to climb into the back of the cart, locking the door behind her.

Morning Glory and his partner were thankful that the cart only had one window. It was attached to the door to the cart on the opposite end from which Glory and co. were tied to. The duo snickered and gave one another a brohoof.

They took off, gliding in a smooth arc that ended with them facing away from Ponyville, careful to not make Trixie suspicious that they were going in the opposite direction.

Half an hour into their flight, a lone changeling joined the flight, flying in sync with Glory and partner. A wreathe of green fire encompassed them both, revealing their natural, chitinous forms underneath, showing the newcomer they were friendly.

After a moment, Morning Glory said, making sure Trixie couldn't eavesdrop; "Fly ahead to Chrysalis and let her know we have Trixie secured, then continue to help with the plans for tomorrow."

The changeling gave a salute and sped off in front of the wagon without uttering a single word.

"Do you know what Chrysalis is planning? All of the orders I've been getting don't make any sense."

"I'm just an errand boy," Morning Glory replied. "Between that, and messing around with Drone Ex-B, I've been having too much fun to care. Everything will make sense tomorrow."

Two hours later, the now undisguised changelings flew the cart into the entrance of the hive, settling down just inside.

There, already waiting, was Chrysalis.

“Trixie Lulamoon, as promised, your highness,” Glory stated.

“Ex-B has been restless. See to her.”

Morning Glory beamed. “Right away, your majesty.” He hurried off into the bowels of the mountain.

Chrysalis glared at the other changeling for a moment until he got the hint, scarpering off into the hive. She shapeshifted, then walked around to the door of the carriage and knocked.

It opened and Trixie poked her head out. “Princess Celestia!” she gaped. “Forgive Trixie, she had no idea you would be in Ponyville!”

“Come, I’ll show you there.”

Trixie climbed out of the cart, but became apprehensive when she saw she was standing in the entrance of a large cave.

“Princess? What are we doing in a cave?”

Chrysalis thought up a clever lie. “A cave that takes you into Ponyville. Short cut. As I am a princess, it’s so I’m not seen coming and going in most instances. Have you been to Ponyville before?”

“N-no…”

“It’s alright, you can trust me. I’ll have a guard pick up your cart and bring it with him.”

Trixie looked around in the entrance. “Where did the other two go?”

“They were only sent to search for you. Another shall be along momentarily. Keep up, we don’t want you getting lost, now would we?”

As Chrysalis lead Trixie deeper into the cave, it became dark enough that Trixie’s light spell only illuminated a few feet or so in front of her.

If anyone was in the surrounding valley, or mountain for that matter, all would have heard the shrill, ear-shattering shriek pierce the tranquil silence for miles around.

Author's Note

*Inserts obligatory joke about teleporting bread...*

Guys, 10k away from 100,000 words! :pinkiehappy:

To commemorate the momentous occasion, I will aim to have a long, 10,000 word chapter, or at least a two-parter!

I've been waiting to get around to the ending of the story for months and months. I've been thinking long and hard about how I want this to end, and I've got the perfect idea with which to do that.

Also, kudos to anyone that spots the extremely vague Fallout 3 reference!

21| Green Dawn

“Look,” Joseph said, glaring at Twilight, “you and I are going to have a nice, long talk about all this shit later.”

Terminating the conversation, he turned to look up at the stage and saw a lighter blue unicorn mare levitating a big duffel bag and talking to Vinyl. He couldn’t make out their conversation, but he must have caught the tail end of it, because the blue mare departed through the backstage curtain while Vinyl made a beeline for the toffee apples. He looked to Twilight, who seemed to be fixated by something over by the stage.

“See someone you like?” Joseph teased to alleviate the tension in the air from before, playfully nudging Twilight.

“Wha? N-no, I just…” She looked left and right before going over to the stage. “I just needed to ask Trixie what time she will be performing so I can get in some time at the other games.” Looking at Joseph, she added, although in a slightly snide manner; “I’ve been too busy carting dying ponies off to the hospital to have any fun.” Her rear right hoof kicked up the back of her cape. “And after the fact, my costume has gotten all out of place!”

The corner of Joseph’s mouth curled at Twilight’s discomfort as she made a vain attempt to fix the costume. “Alright, Merlin,” he said as he followed Twilight over to Trixie, “what’s your plans for now?”

“You called me that before. Who is this Merlin?”

“A wizard from Earth, I guess.”

Twilight’s expression lit up and she beamed a massive smile. “You had wizards back where you’re from?! Was he like Starswirl?”

“What? No! Wizards and witches are completely fictitious on Earth, Twilight! And who the hell is Starswirl?”

Twilight didn’t answer, rather electing to grumble in annoyance at Joseph and brush him off as she spoke to Trixie. Joseph overheard Trixie say she’ll be ready in about half an hour, at which point Twilight trotted back around to Joseph with a bit more pep in her step.

“Right, first a game or two, some snacks, then we go see Trixie’s performance.”

“What about Spike?” Joseph asked, looking around the immediate area.

“He doesn’t get a lot of time off, so I decided to let him do whatever he wants this evening. He’ll join us when Trixie’s show starts. She did say the show will be something that nopony will forget, and since this is my first Nightmare Night away from home, I’m really looking forward to it!”

“Well good luck with that,” Joseph replied dismissively. “You go do your thing, and I’m gonna try and find Vinyl. She knows how to have fun, so I’m hoping I can have some fun with her too.”

“Just… don’t get into any trouble, alright?” Twilight said, looking up to him pleadingly.

“I’ve got some freaky she-demon… thingy… that wants my ass for reasons I don’t know. I can only say I’ll try, but if trouble finds me, it ain’t my fault, comprende?”

“Fine, fine…” She turned to walk over to Applejack’s apple bobbing barrels, and Joseph went in the other direction to find Vinyl.

After a few minutes of searching he found her talking to a charcoal-grey mare with a considerably darker, charcoal-black mane and tail. The mare caught sight of Joseph and seemed a bit surprised, raising a forehoof as if to move backwards. Vinyl saw her expression flick off to the side and followed it out of curiosity.

“Oh hey there!” Vinyl beamed as Joseph approached. She turned back to her friend. “Octy, this is the mare I was telling you about!”

Joseph couldn’t help but notice how she looked at him up and down; the corner of her nose curled with what could be construed as contempt or disdain. “Charmed,” she said succinctly, turning away from Joseph, effectively giving him the cold shoulder.

“Why don’t you show her your wicked Nightmare Moon costume?!” Vinyl cheerily suggested.

“I left it over at the stage,” he lied. “Didn’t want to lose or damage it.”

“Eclipse, wasn’t it?” ‘Octy’ interjected forthright. “Vinyl told me about your performance in Canterlot.”

“She did, did she?”

“Yes, and something about that night has been troubling me.”

“Oh yeah? What’s that?” Joseph and Vinyl shared confused looks as Octavia examined the nail of her hoof disinterestedly as an excuse to keep from looking at him.

“Well, it’s just that Vinyl was supposed to supply the costume, right?”

“...Yeah?”

“If you didn’t wear it, where did you get yours from?”

Joseph’s gut dropped momentarily, but he managed to think up an excuse quickly. “Well, after Vinyl made the arrangements, I decided to surprise her and everyone else by sourcing my own costume.”

It was bothering Joseph how rude this mare was being, so he decided to cut her down to size. “I’m sorry, Vinyl hasn’t mentioned you at all. What was your name?” Success. ‘Octy’s’ gaze harshly narrowed on Vinyl, whose ears folded back on her head sheepishly.

“I,” Octy began matter-of-factly, “am Octavia Melody, cellist for the Canterlot Orchestra. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a rather important show I need to practice for.” Without another word, she abruptly turned tail and left down one of the streets.

Joseph watched in disbelief before Vinyl sighed deeply off to his right. “Sorry about that. She isn’t normally like this.”

“She really needs to loosen up,” Joseph said.

“Yeah, although it depends in which sense you’re talking about,” Vinyl replied, which made Joseph giggle-snort and grin widely.

They both stared at each other in awkward silence for a moment as the rest of the crowd walked by the two obliviously. “Soooo…” Vinyl began. “How have you been liking everything so far?”

“Well, this is my first time at this thing, so I kinda thought you might know what’s fun around here.”

“Even though I live in Ponyville with Octavia, I’m not here most of the time since I do a lot of gigs in Canterlot. I only sleep in my own bed three or four times a week. Sorry,” she finished.

“It’s fine, I guess.”

“I’m just about to go back to the house to get some more music, but I’ll be back in time for the magic show. See you then?”

“Most of the kids should be largely in bed or asleep, so see if you can’t find something a bit more… bombastic, eh?” Joseph suggested with a sly grin.

“I’ll definitely try,” Vinyl replied in kind. “Although that’s the problem, too.”

“Eh, so long as I can’t hear any crying I don’t particularly care.”

“You don’t like kids?” Vinyl asked.

Joseph snorted. “Not by a long shot. Like, don’t get me wrong, I know how to handle myself around kids, I just don’t want any.”

“I s’pose they’re not for everypony. Anyway, I should be back in a bit.”

“Alright, see you soon,” he replied. Joseph made his way back into the conglomeration of ponies beginning to crowd around the main stage, getting the best seat they could find, readying themselves for the show.

Since it was a magic show, a lot of the parents had their kids either perched on their back, riding on their shoulders, or for the colts and fillies that had wings, were hovering just above their parent’s heads. No doubt for some of them this would be the end of the night before they went to bed, getting up in the morning and likely binge eating their bags of diabetes from tonight.

Since he was on his own, Joseph decided to find himself a seat amongst the still-growing crowd. His loneliness didn’t last too long though, and soon after he took his seat a familiar drake walked up next to him.

“Hey,” Spike said with a nudge. Joseph looked down to him. “Have you seen Twilight around?”

“She went off on her own about an hour or so ago. Give her ten minutes and she’ll probably find us.” Much to Joseph’s bewilderment, Spike unzipped the front of his costume slightly and pulled out a handful of wrapped candies. “Dude, did you stuff yourself with candy? Like, literally?! Can I have some?”

Spike giggled around a mouthful of candy. “Mmhmm!” He swallowed. “Means I don’t have to walk around with a big bag.”

“That’s actually kind of smart. Although, won’t it collect in your feet?”

“Nah, the elastic stitched into the costume makes sure it doesn’t slip where it doesn’t need to go.”

Meanwhile on stage, the sight of Trixie levitating a long box attached to a set of wheels on stage caught Joseph and Spike’s attention. “Oh, it’s going to be one of those magic shows.”

“Well yeah, what else did you expect?” Spike asked matter-of-factly.

“...You know what, I wasn’t completely sure what to expect. Could’ve just been my expectation towards magic given how magically inclined everyone here is. I already know how this trick works anyway.”

By now, there was quite the turnout for Trixie’s show, which meant Spike and Joseph were sandwiched next to each other with nary any room to move.

“Spike!” a voice called out over the crowd. “Where are you?”

“Let me get on your back,” Spike said to Joseph. Much to his annoyance, Spike immediately started climbing on his back rather than wait for the answer. “I’m over here!” Spike shouted back while waving his hand.

Joseph turned to Spike and said in annoyance; “Instead of asking if you can climb on my back and doing it without a response, let it be known that I could have lifted you above everyone!”

“Uh, heh, sorry about that…”

“Let me demonstrate.” Joseph then proceeded to levitate Spike, turn him upside down and shake the drake, making his hidden stash of candy scatter around them.

“Hey!” Spike protested. “Put me down!”

“If you insist.” Joseph then cut the magic he was using to levitate Spike upside down, and he hit the ground and rolled on his back. Joseph then proceeded to pick up several pieces of wrapped candy. The remainder became a feast for a few fillies and colts as they made a grab for what they could before legging it.

“What’d you do that for?” Spike asked angrily, rubbing the back of his head. “If you wanted some you could’ve just asked.”

Joseph smirked at the dragon. “Making a point. And I did, but you didn’t say anything, so I took some anyway.”

As Spike went to open his mouth, Twilight managed to find her way through the crowd to them. “There you are!” she said, heaving a breath of exhaustion, sitting down on the other side of Spike so he was in the middle of them.

“How’d your evening go,” Joseph said through a lemon-flavoured hard candy.

“Fine, fine... Managed to get in a few games, ate some snacks, then I wanted to find you two to watch the show with. And now here we are!”

Joseph carefully regarded Twilight for a while. She seemed rather tense and anxious about something, but Joseph couldn’t put his finger, or… hoof on it. She was probably out of breath from playing the games and frustrated she kept missing.

The box rested on the centre-back portion of the stage, and off to the side sat Trixie’s duffle bag. The din of the crowd dulled into hushed murmurs as Trixie stood, looking down at and over the crowd, waiting for them to quiet down.

“Welcome, fillies and gentlecolts!” she shouted, rearing on her hind legs and kicking out her forelegs, “to the most unforgettable magic show of your life!” The crowd roared with approval, all pumped up, ready and waiting. “I’ve got quite the finale planned to end your night with a bang, so I’ll begin with some other tricks first. Could I please have a volunteer?”

“Pick me!” someone shouted, jumping up and down in the middle of the crowd. Their voice was rather deep and had a slow drawl to it.

“You there!” Trixie proclaimed, pointing at him. “Come up here with me.” The thinner young stallion had an off-gold coloured coat with an aquamarine mane and tail, as well as light yellow freckles. He made his way up the stairs, accidentally catching his hoof on the top one and stumbling the rest of the way onto stage. “What’s your name?” she asked.

“S-Snails,” he said nervously.

“Hey, Twilight,” Joseph asked, nudging Twilight as he spied the colt’s cutie mark.

“I’m trying to watch the show!” she spat.

Ignoring her, Joseph asked; “How much foresight do these ponies have to have in order to name their kid after their cutie mark? It makes no sense.”

Twilight countered as fast as she could. “Nobody understands how cutie marks work. They randomly appear whenever somebody gains and/or realises their special talent.”

It behooved Joseph not to make any further remarks about the little guy, so he turned his attention back to the show. Trixie’s horn lit up and, from Joseph’s perspective, the left half of the box opened up.

“Snails, if you wouldn’t mind helping me into the box?” He held his hoof out for Trixie to use as support while she climbed into the box.

Joseph felt a nudge in the rib cage from Spike. “Have you seen this trick before?”

“Only on TV. Watch this. I’ll give you a run-down of what she’ll do before she does it.” As the box closed, Joseph whispered to Spike; “There’s two people in there. Trixie, and another up the front.”

As Snails closed the lid, two hind legs slid out the bottom end. “How could there be two ponies in there if Trixie’s coat colour is the same as the legs?” Spike asked.

“Dyes, magic, something. I dunno, whatever they did.” Joseph watched as Trixie levitated over a wood saw from her bag of goodies and handed it to Snails.

“Now, you shall saw the middle of the box in half!”

“Miss Trixie, you’re in there, won’t that hurt?” Snails asked as he eyed the rather large saw up and down.

“It’s a magic show! Of course it won’t.”

Joseph hadn’t been to any live magic shows before, so something like this was definitely fun and refreshing to watch. Snails then proceeded to saw through the box in the indicated position. After a few tense minutes of sawing, some strained effort on Snail’s behalf, the teeth of the saw finally breached the bottom of the box, at which point Trixie levitated over two pieces of wood, placing them where the saw cut through.

“When you saw through the box, you’re separating the two people from one another. Then the ‘head’ tells the ‘feet’ to move,” Joseph continued, keeping his eyes on stage but his ears focused on Joseph.

“Behold,” Trixie declared, “I am still able to control my disembodied hooves!” As the hooves ‘moved of their own accord’, the crowd ‘Oooo’ed and ‘Ahhh’ed in wonderment.

“Now what happens?” Spike asked. Twilight was too busy watching the show to pay any attention to either of them.

“I’ve already told you how most of the trick works, but I’m not sure how everything gets put back together. That’s the part I’m actually keen to see.”

After the crowd finished gawking at the spectacle, Trixie used her magic to put both halves of the box back together and seal it with some kind of spell so it was a seamless box once more. As the flash of magic cleared, Snails helped her out of the box.

When all four hooves were firmly planted on stage, Trixie said; “And to disprove any nay-sayers in the crowd…” She used her magic to flip open both halves of the box, levitating it up and over the crowd so everyone could see inside.

Spike looked to Joseph, an eyebrow raised challengingly. “Explain that,” he said with a smug grin.

“Whoever was in there got teleported out during the flash of her magic when she fixed the box.” That wiped the grin off Spike’s face pretty quickly.

“Thank you, Snails, you can return to the crowd, and as a reward, I will be calling upon you later.”

“Thank you Miss Trixie!” Snails jovially said as he made his way back to his original place in the crowd.

For the next hour, Trixie put on various acts with increased flair and drama as the night went on. From the sawn in half trick, to pulling a rather angry rabbit out of a hat, to Rainbow Dash being trussed and tied on stage after her big mouth got her into trouble for heckling. Joseph could figure out most of the tricks Trixie demonstrated by watching closely and ignoring the intentional misdirection.

As the fireworks and sparkles settled down from the majestic display of her latest tricks, Trixie strode through the smoke to address the crowd, her cape fluttering behind her.

“I see many fantastic and wonderful costumes here tonight! But what is a magic show without changing the appearance of your very costumes?” The crowd hummed with curious delight at this. “Snails, could you join me on stage once more, please?”

“But I don’t have a costume on…” he said dejectedly.

“Come, I shall give you one!” She stuck out her hoof as the costume-less stallion made his way on stage one last time. Levitating out a book with a few bookmarks in it from the duffel bag, she handed it to Snails. “This is a book full of creatures of myth. Open it to a random page and I shall give you a very life-like costume!”

Morbidly intrigued, Joseph watched as Snails opened the book to one of the bookmarks towards the front of the book. Joseph almost wanted to tell Snails not to do that, because now he’d played into her hands. Or hooves. The idea was to never do what you think the magician expected of you.

“Oh, that one?” Trixie asked curiously, arching an eyebrow. Snails feverently nodded his head. “Well then, it shall be so!” Trixie’s horn lit up and she blasted him with a ray of green magic. It kicked up a cloud of smoke, likely to hide the person that either changed into a costume, or replaced Snails.

When the smoke cleared, the crowd was a mixture of shocked expressions, awe, and curiosity. While he still had the same overall body shape, Trixie’s spell donned him with dark chitin, the colour of his coat shimmering on it in the moonlight above. Looking back, Snails saw a pair of gossamer wings between the shoulderblades of his forehooves. He pulled a lock of his mane down to look at it proper, seeing that the turquoise colour had been tainted with a heavy, oily green.

Joseph’s suspicions were immediately raised. Keeping his eye on the spectacle in front of the crowd, he said to Twilight; “What the hell just happened?!”

“Trixie is a magician that specialises in illusory charms; don’t worry about it.”

“She just turned him into a changeling-esque version of himself,” Joseph spat through gritted teeth. “Pardon me if I seem rather pensive about it!”

“Would you calm down? It’s just a magic show! The spell will wear off soon enough.”

Having been constantly hounded by changelings, Trixie’s spell understandably put Joseph on edge. Tense and anxious, he begrudgingly continued to watch the performance, though not without keeping his guard up should something happen.

“Who knows what creature Snails here represents?” Trixie asked, holding up the book she had him pick from. Being this far back in the crowd, he couldn’t quite make out the title. Maybe a book on the beings of Equestria? Myths and legends, perhaps? With an excited gasp, Twilight’s hoof shot up.

Amidst dozens of others, Trixie pointed towards someone in the back. “You there, pink one!”

“A super icky gross changeling!” the extremely exuberant, high-pitched voice called out over everyone.

Joseph rolled his eyes, and he couldn’t help but force a small smile. ’Yup, definitely Pinkie.’

“...Yes, correct,” Trixie replied, almost indignantly. “Is there anyone else that would like to come up on stage and partake in the show?”

Over a dozen hooves shot up in the air. Joseph’s gaze darted all around the place, heightened attention scanning the ponies who volunteered. ’If Trixie just used her magic to turn that colt into a pseudo-changeling version of himself, then Chrysalis has gotta be around here somewhere, right?’

Clearly, Nightmare replied dryly. Try getting away from the stage.

Joseph quickly nudged Twilight to tell her he needed to go to the bathroom. Twilight, raptly looking at the display, only nodded and gave a weak “Uh huh” in response. He grumbled and tried parting the sea of ponies to try and get away from Trixie.

“You there!” Trixie called out. Like being a deer caught in the headlights, thinking she was calling after him, Joseph snapped to Trixie’s voice. “We have another volunteer!” Fortunately Trixie was looking elsewhere in the crowd. By now three ponies were on stage; Sweetie Belle, Mayor Mare, and Octavia, which Joseph found weird. Didn’t she go off somewhere else earlier? What’s she doing back here?

“I need one more!” Trixie hollered.

’Almost there…’ Joseph said to himself, hoping that Trixie wouldn’t see him.

“Dark mare, way in the back! Why don’t you come forward?”

Screaming internally, just a few more rows of ponies to go through before freedom, Trixie just had to notice him. ’What am I going to do?’

No doubt Chrysalis has a plan to oust you; she’s been in your head and knows exactly who you are. I’m trying to figure something out. If you don’t go to Trixie, Chrysalis will spring her trap to capture you. Best to play along to keep casualties at a minimum.

Joseph began to begrudgingly make his way toward the stage, glancing carefully at Trixie all the while as he said to Nightmare irately; ’You wanna talk casualties? You were going to freeze everything with your eternal night! Everyone would have starved from not being able to grow anything, and the ponies themselves would have frozen to death!

I never wanted to kill anyone, she retorted. There just so happens to be ancient magic to remedy those problems.

’Of-fucking-course there is,’ Joseph replied, rolling his eyes. Of course there would be. He made his way to the stage and went up the stairs to join Trixie and the others.

“Behold, the final trick! You’ll all be talking about it for generations to come!” Trixie positively screamed, kicking up and exuberantly rearing her forehooves. She shot a beam of energy at Octavia, and the magic engulfed her. When it cleared, sure enough, there stood a pseudo-changeling variant of herself. The only thing that confused Joseph was that Snails and Octavia didn’t seem to be acting that much differently. Octavia still held her nose up high, like she thought she was better than everyone else.

Another beam hit Sweetie, then Mayor Mare. The whole crowd was electric, stomping their hooves with excitement and approval as they watched Trixie mystify them with her magic.

Snails, Octavia Melody, Mayor Mare, and Sweetie belle, stood on the stage while the crowd looked on in amazement, loud yet wondrous murmurs from one pony to another echoing around.

’Got anything, yet?’ Joseph asked Nightmare. He felt uneasy as he watched Trixie surveying the crowd with pride, a devious smirk etched from one ear to the other that would make the Joker proud. The crowd didn’t pay any mind to it. They most likely thought of it as part of the act.

Chrysalis is unpredictable, Nightmare said. I can’t do anything for you or to her unless she makes her move. As it were, the ball is in her court now.

“You’ve all heard the legends of Nightmare Moon, to whom this festival is dedicated to,” Trixie boomed once the crowd’s enthusiasm died down. “Several weeks ago saw her return from lunar exile. You all would have experienced the night that was supposed to be the day. But did you know… she still lives?” Trixie trailed off with a manner of mysticism in her voice. Ponies in the crowd murmured in confusion about how she was defeated, and the proof of Princess Luna’s return was testament to that.

“Impossible!” a stallion shouted.

“Ah-hah, that’s where you’re wrong! You were all witness to her but a few hours ago. Are you all really that blind?”

“That couldn’t have been Nightmare Moon!” another protested.

“Oh, but it was! She wears a disguise to walk among you.” A good portion of the crowd noticeably stiffened at the thought. “How would you all like to see Nightmare Moon for yourselves? Not just someone whom you think is another in disguise.” Trixie stood to the left of the stage, and the four ‘changelings’ stood off to the right, blocking the stairway and leaving Joseph in plain view of the crowd. He didn’t try to escape; doing so would only prove Trixie’s point. He needed to keep the status quo in his favour, but the scales were tipping in Trixie’s favour every passing second.

“Behold, Nightmare Moon!” After that declaration, several ponies began snickering at the sight, but Trixie kept up her visage. “Laugh all you want, but this mare is wearing a disguise.”

“It’s Nightmare Night, that’s the entire point!” someone else called out.

Joseph caught Trixie’s deadly glare as she began to make his way over to him. For some disturbing reason, she put her hoof around him as if they were buddies.

“You see, Nightmare Moon and I have been plotting a takeover of Equestria.” Everyone promptly froze. “For I am not who you think I am, either.” Deafening silence permeated the air. Without warning, Trixie blasted the base of Joseph’s horn. The magic cracked and destroyed the ring, and it fell to the stage floor in three pieces.

Immediately Joseph’s mare form blinked away, replaced by none other than Nightmare Moon herself.

Mutters rang out from the crowd.

“This can’t be…”

“I-impossible!”

Nightmare Moon’s known history wasn’t doing Joseph any favours to say the least. Try as he might, he couldn’t think up a valid, substantial reason to explain how he looked to everyone else. As far as Twilight and her friends went, it was highly doubtful the six of them could quell the panic of an entire town.

Trixie used the opportunity to remove her leg from around Joseph, taking centre stage. “You’re all fools!” she bellowed over the crowd.

Trixie cackled malevolently as a pillar of toxic green flames shot up around her. The crowd wasted no time and bolted in the exact opposite direction from Trixie, scrambling over one another to get to safety. Seconds later, the green fire dissipated into wisps, all while Joseph looked on, too scared to move.

A being as tall and as lean in stature as Celestia floated in mid-air. Gossamer wings kept her aloft as she looked out over the scattering crowd with malintent etched right across her face.

“Nobody leaves!” she roared. The four changeling ponies on the stage took flight over the crowd, each landing with a thud in the middle of a major street to drive the terrified ponies back to the stage like cattle.

“I told all of you that you shall remember this night, and remember it you shall!”

She’s distracted, do something!

Before Joseph could respond, a cupcake hit Chrysalis square on the right side of her face. “Have a cupcake!” an extremely angry, yet peppy voice shouted. Chrysalis’ head snapped to look at Pinkie as the rest of Twilight’s friends surrounded her, save for Fluttershy.

“You’ll never get away with this!” Rainbow shouted, making ‘come hither’ gestures with what could otherwise be construed as balled fists as icing and sponge sleuced off of Chrysalis’ face.

“Oh, but I already have!” she said, condescension lacing her every word, flicking away the remainder of the treat with magic. She glanced up as if to indicate to the four mares to look behind them. Three burly male stallions boxed in the mares from behind, making escape an unlikely event.

“When Twi gets here with the Elements, you’ll be finished!” Applejack challenged.

“Oh? You mean…” She put the nail of her hoof in her mouth and gave a sharp, shrill whistle. “...this Twilight?” The aforementioned mare trotted calmly up to Chrysalis’ side, sitting down with a knowing smirk of her own. A small puff of green fire flickered, and in the same spot sat a changeling version of Twilight.

“Good heavens!” Rarity exclaimed.

“What the hay did you do with Twilight!?” Applejack demanded.

Another cupcake splattered across Chrysalis’ face.

“Stop throwing cupcakes at her, Pinkie, it’ll make her mad!” Rarity chided.

“I’m not throwing cupcakes at her, I’m assaulting her with cupcakes!”

“Enough!” Chrysalis boomed.

Joseph’s attention went from her to the crowd, and he could see everyone being corralled back toward the stage. Dozens and dozens of other ponies dropped their disguises, revealing either changeling variants of the pony that once was, or a normal changeling.

“As I was saying before,” Chrysalis said, addressing the frantic crowd. “The mare you saw before was none other than the one and only Nightmare Moon, masquerading amongst you all as a combined effort with yours truly.” Joseph received his share of seething hatred stares.

’What the fuck am I supposed to do!?’ he screamed at Nightmare.

Run, was her only reply.

’I didn’t run when that other lady needed my help, and I’m not going to run away when these people need my help!’

You are outnumbered, out-matched, and out-skilled in every possible manner you can possibly imagine.

“Is it true, sugarcube?” Applejack’s voice caught Joseph’s attention in the middle of his inner conversation. She continued in a hushed voice so only he could hear. “Tell me y’all didn’t do this after we took ya in?”

“Applejack, for all we know Nightmare Moon and Chrysalis were in it from the very beginning!” Rainbow said pointedly.

Joseph just looked back at the four ponies before him; Rarity, Pinkie, and Applejack each had expressions that begged him to say it wasn’t so, while Rainbow was justifiably cautious. There was only one thing to say.

“I’m here because I died. I tried to make the best of it. Have I given you any reason not to trust me?”

It wasn’t just what Joseph said, it was how he said it. His doleful expression carried the sincerity of his words. Even Rainbow seemed to relax.

“Alright, Sugarcube. I believe you.”

Another cupcake whizzed past and nailed Chrysalis right on the muzzle. She immediately stiffened, her magic wiping the cupcake to the ground once more, and looking down her nose towards the pink mare.

“Pinkie!” Rarity exclaimed.

Chrysalis gave a short, shrill whistle as one of the stallions-turned-changelings shoved Pinkie Pie forward. “Let me show you what will happen to you, and the rest of your precious town if you do not want to end up like Pinkie Pie.”

She promptly levitated Pinkie in her aura, holding her high above the crowd. “Let this serve as a warning to anybody that tries anything against me!” Chrysalis fired a beam of energy at Pinkie. It hit its mark in the middle of her back as Pinkie began screaming.

That spell… Nightmare Moon said in realisation. It’s a transmutation spell!

’How the fuck is that going to do me any good?!’ Joseph demanded.

It means I know how to reverse it!

Chrysalis sustained the beam on Pinkie as long as she could. Pinkie dropped to the ground in a heap as ponies quickly parted around her. She weakly pulled herself up, but not before stumbling as she did so. When ‘Pinkie’ gained her footing, she hissed at the ponies immediately in front of her, then leapt into the air to hover above them all.

“Is there anypony that dare step forward?” Chrysalis challenged. As expected, she received no challengers. She cleared her throat before speaking again. “While I am the artifex behind what you see before you, Nightmare Moon is not without deserved credit. It is by her design that I was able to create more improved changelings.”

On that queue, more changelings began filing out of the streets towards the crowd, who were quickly sandwiched between a veritable wall of chitin and the stage. Changelings with bulbous, pulsating torsos stood sentinel at the entrance of each street to cut off any would-be escapees. Tall, lanky changelings, standing as tall as Chrysalis on her hind legs strode in walking on theirs. The bulk of their frame caused them to hunch forward as their narrow, claw-like appendages dragged trenches into the dirt while walking. They were neither hands or hooves with claws, rather it looked like the bones of their forehooves extended out through the bottom of their hooves. Easily as tall as three ponies, the sheer intimidation of them had the ponies as far back as they could to avoid getting chunks of hamburger ripped from them.

“Recognise these creatures?” Chrysalis asked Joseph with a condescending raise of her eyebrow.

His wide-eyed, aghast expression silently confirmed Chrysalis’ rhetorical question. Apparently Chrysalis’ spell had allowed her to also rifle through his memories, as was evident by the creatures she’d recreated from his memory. Seeing them in a virtual setting on a computer or TV screen was one thing, but being in such a close proximity with them instilled an entirely new level of fear in Joseph. All he had to go up against Chrysalis was some crude bombs he’d made, and he didn’t even know if she knew about them.

“Do you know where I keep my armies?” Chrysalis teased.

“...Up your sleevies?” Joseph replied with the slightest of smirks.

“Hidden in plain sight!” she retorted with an irritated snarl. “Having shapeshifting magic is invaluable for creating vast armies; there is no better satisfaction than imagining the look on the opposition’s face when they realise their ranks have been compromised.” Chrysalis turned her gaze to the thoroughly petrified crowd and fired a beam at random, hitting one of the ponies.

’The longer it takes you to create a work around to her spell, the more people get turned!’ Joseph shouted at Nightmare.

This is an extremely delicate spell! Nightmare replied rather irately. If I can’t tune my counter-spell to reverse this one specific spell, not everything will end up where it’s supposed to.

A scream rang out from the crowd, followed by an anguished, childlike cry of “Mom!” A blackened form lifted itself from amidst the crowd, flittering on its newly acquired wings over to the stage, and deposited itself on the platform without nary a sound.

Joseph regarded the new changeling thanks to its familiar colours, then his gaze was drawn to the voice that cried out. The all too recognisable, dark-brown colt wearing a helicopter beanie looked on, tears welling up and creating rivulets down his face.

“Give my mom back!” he shouted.

“Oh, what’s this? A little foal challenging me?” Chrysalis nonchalantly plucked the little guy out of the crowd and levitated him up to her, holding him so he was at eye level. “And why would I do that?”

“She’s my mom!” He bravely tried to take a swing at Chrysalis, but fell just short of what would’ve been tantamount to a boop on the muzzle.

“I can sense how much you care for her,” Chrysalis said with a wretched grin. “No, I’m not going to give her back. A mother’s love for her kin is among the most powerful of emotions I am able to harvest.” She leered at the colt. “And it’s thanks to you and many others that enabled this level of subjugation to take place.” She levitated him back to his place in the crowd, but didn’t bother actually letting him down; she just cut her magic and he unceremoniously fell to the ground.

“Everyone should have a mum to go home to…” Joseph said through clenched teeth, his anger rising. How dare she do that to an innocent child! He knew all too well the hurt that that colt must be experiencing. Joseph looked to him amongst the crowd, momentarily unable to remember the colt’s name. He sat on his haunches, head and shoulders sagging as tears slipped from his eyes to the dirt below.

Joseph snarled at Chrysalis. “You’re going to burn! I will see to it myself.”

Chrysalis just cantered over to Joseph. “We’re both in this together, remember?”

“You’ve fucked with this town; you’ve kidnapped people—possibly killed them, too; and now you’re transforming these innocent people into your disgusting changelings? But above all, there’s one thing you should never, ever piss off.”

“Oh? Enlighten me,” Chrysalis said flippantly.

“A human,” Joseph said with a determination that made Chrysalis do a double take. Conveying a quick request to Nightmare, Joseph’s horn lit up, which earned a confused stare from Chrysalis.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“The thing about bad guys is…” Joseph looked skyward for a moment. “...they never look up.”

Chrysalis stiffened. Cautiously, she looked above her. A glass oil lamp bottle with a burning piece of cloth tied around its neck floated above her, waiting to be dropped upon her head.

To Joseph’s confusion, she just laughed. “Oh, you think something like that will do me harm? It’s not often I say this, but that is adorable! Woola!”

A blur shot past Joseph, knocking him off to the side, causing him to drop the molotov. When he righted himself, he saw a six-legged changeling standing next to Chrysalis, clutching the bomb in its maw, the cloth since extinguished. The creature made a show of crushing the bottle with its powerful jaw, which Joseph found a bit emasculating.

The changeling, however, didn’t know what the bottle’s contents were, and donned a rather disgusted expression as it spat the foul liquid as best it could.

“It’s going to take a lot more than that to defeat me,” Chrysalis said pointedly. “Now, Woola, show our friend here what you’re made of.”

’Uh oh…’ The changeling stampeded past Joseph at lightning speed, knocking his legs out from under him again. It ran a circuit through the terrified crowd of townsfolk, knocking them over and trampling over them before running Joseph’s way again. Its head connected with his abdomen, knocking him into the stage curtain where he hit something on the other side. He was caught off guard by what it was until he saw through a slit in the curtains: Vinyl’s soundstage. He heard more wails and cries from the crowd as the changeling dubbed Woola continued to harass them.

Joseph held his head up, clutching his temple with a hoof in a vain attempt to make the disorientation cease. Woola ran up the stage once more, and stopped to give Joseph a jaunty taunt before racing off.

Use your magic and pry up the board at the top of the stairs, Nightmare said.

Woola ran over the stage as Chrysalis looked on and cackled at the mayhem she was creating. Joseph seized the opportunity and mustered as much concentration as he could, focusing on a plank of wood he assumed was near the top of the stairs. He heard some strained creaking coming from the nails holding the board to the floor studs, followed by Woola’s pounding steps as it literally ran circles around and through the crowd.

But when those speedy steps made contact with the stairs, he didn’t hear anything for a few precious seconds. A loud crash from somewhere off to the stage’s left caught Joseph’s attention, and he looked over to its source. One of the buildings now had a rather sizeable hole in it, and in addition, a pair of chitinous legs hung outside, twitching erratically.

Chrysalis narrowed her gaze at Joseph’s victorious smirk. “There’s more where that came from. In due time, though.”

With that beast out the way, he could confidently stand up without worrying about being knocked over like a set of bowling pins, though he kept himself as close to the stage curtain as he could.

The crowd of ponies looked on in confusion at the spectacle. Having been told Nightmare Moon was against them, it was certainly turned their perspective of Joseph upside down.

’I got an idea,’ Joseph said to Nightmare Moon. ’How much magic can you spare?’

Why, what are you… Nightmare began, only to cut herself off when Joseph mentally relayed his idea to her. Oh that is good, that is really good. One problem, though.

’There always fucking is,’ Joseph said in exasperation.

It’ll need a pilot. With my magic flowing through it, you’ll be able to control it.

’Well, it can’t be too hard, can it?

“Princess Celestia will get here soon!” a hopeful voice called out from the crowd.

“Hah! You think your precious princesses will help? Gaze to the city of Canterlot atop the mountain in the distance and you shall see for yourself!” Chrysalis announced.

Curious as to what she could mean, Joseph and the townsponies looked to the mountainside city, barely visible thanks to the nighttime sky, although illuminated enough by the moonlight above.

“You all see my augmented Changelings standing in the streets? The more rotund ones, if you will,” Chrysalis clarified. “Engineered to be on the more… explosive side of things.”

In that moment, a green haze erupted from the spires jutting above the city, followed by a massive explosion. Joseph’s jaw hung agape at the sight as the crowd wailed in abject shock, then Chrysalis spoke again.

“Keeping your princesses occupied with cleaning up collateral damage in their capitol ensures that their attention is kept elsewhere, and not on myself.”

Having demonstrated her ability to wantonly destroy, Joseph needed to act quickly to ensure she do no more damage. “It’s time to put this bitch down for good,” he muttered to himself. ’Is the spell ready?’

Get behind the machine and feed the spell directly into the mixing board.

With Chrysalis distracted from gloating about the destruction in Canterlot, he slipped behind the stage curtain and hopped up behind Vinyl’s soundstage. He lowered his horn down to the control panel and forced the magic into every crack and crevice he could. Almost immediately, the machine began spluttering and coughing dry ice smoke as the spell took hold. It shakily rose, and Joseph saw the curtain being jerked open to reveal a confused Chrysalis, whose expression suddenly turned to one of momentary fear at the sight.

Vinyl’s sound stage stood substantially taller than Chrysalis, its speakers turned and trained on her, motes of purple and black energy contaminating the dry ice smoke and wafting over the stage. Chrysalis backed up several steps without falling off the stage as the machine reached its full height on the pistons supporting its weight, Joseph looking down on Chrysalis from his position.

The metal plates attached to the pistons gave an almighty stomp each, shaking the stage and unnerving Chrysalis. Joseph turned dials, flipped switches, and put records in their place, resulting in a look of consternation from the queen before him.

The machine, full of Nightmare Moon’s dark magic, drew looks from everybody. The speakers turned and trained on Chrysalis as Joseph raised his right hoof high above the air, a dramatic motion as he readied to press that one button.

“Lets drop this beat!” His hoof slammed the button, and two conical beams of magic shot from the speakers where Chrysalis stood, blasting holes in the stage. She barely managed to jump up in the air, carried by her wings as the beams singed the tip of her rear left hoof. Joseph looked up to her, refocusing the speakers on her and firing again. Her agility allowed her to quickly dodge out of the way with more warning this time.

She flew higher, dipping into a dive as she flew straight for Joseph, dive-bombing on his position. He ducked out of the way, although he felt his horn make contact against the underside of Chrysalis’ carapace. She spun around in mid air behind him with the grace of a dancer, making another attempt to tackle Joseph. He barely managed to look behind him before his head snapped back as Chrysalis made contact with him, her forehooves wrapping around his barrel and dragging Joseph up and over the mixing board, tumbling down to the stage where he fell into the holes he created with a clatter amongst the wood.

Without him behind the soundstage, it stood tall, ceasing any movement, the speakers emitting an ominous hum.

“You try anything again…” Chrysalis began, standing above Joseph, only to levitate the terrified brown colt whom objected about his mum, onto the stage and in front of him. “I’ll turn him.”

The brief defeat Joseph experienced dissuaded any rebuttal as Chrysalis carelessly tossed the colt back into the crowd.

“Threatening little kids? That’s low, real low. I won’t let you!” He tried getting out from under Chrysalis, but she just slammed her hoof into his bruised abdomen, no thanks to Woola’s headbutt and Chrysalis’ tackle. Wincing in pain, he clutched at his side as Chrysalis stepped off him.

She then leaned down to whisper in his ear. “You have a choice. If you assist me in my takeover of Equestria, I’ll see to it you receive joint rulership. No force in the land could possible stop us. You have the abilities of a god, and yet you squander them. Secondly, if you oppose me, you will inevitably die as a result of your misguided heroism.”

Chrysalis stepped off Joseph to allow him to get up. It was her way of saying she expected he help her, but at the same time keeping her guard up should he try anything else.

Joseph staggered to his feet, determination written across his face. “I died once saving someone. If it meant these people—” he swung a hoof over the crowd “—lived, I would be more than happy to take you down with me. I never asked for this to happen. It was Nightmare Moon who did this to me. I just want to be at peace knowing what I’ve done is for the better.”

“Spare me your sanctimony,” Chrysalis said with a roll of her eyes.

“It’s not about sanctimony. It’s altruism.” Joseph lunged at Chrysalis, but her superior agility allowed her to dodge out the way. He landed with a thud on top of a pile of splintered wood blasted from the stage, groaning as Chrysalis wordlessly mocked him by laughing under her breath.

“You humans are weak. There’s only one thing for you to do if you value your piteous life.”

Joseph spied a decently sized, stake-like piece of wood as Chrysalis placed her hoof on him, increasing her pressure on his bruised and battered torso. Joseph grimaced in pain as he tried to summon enough concentration to levitate the piece of wood.

“It’s time for you to yield. The next thing you say will determine whether or not you live or die.”

Joseph had had enough. The anger against Chrysalis building in his gut gave him the momentary strength he needed. He grasped the stake in his aura and thrusted it upward, driving it through the bottom of her jaw into the roof of her mouth, effectively pinning her mouth shut.

“Shut. The fuck. Up!”

Chrysalis staggered back several steps, her own aura slowly taking hold of the stake, and pulling it out. Coated in green ooze which Joseph assumed to be her own blood, she tossed it to the side.Much to Joseph’s abject horror, the gaping hole on the bottom of Chrysalis’ mandible began to close, flesh and muscle stitching itself back together aided by her magic.

“You’ve dug your grave,” Chrysalis began, spitting leftover viscera in Joseph’s general direction. “Now lay in it!”

“Kind of makes me wonder where I’m buried on Earth, if at all...” he said nonchalantly.

“You insufferable being!” Chrysalis roared. She charged at Joseph, her forehooves wrapping around his neck. She flung the both of them into the crowd as the mass of ponies scrambled to part around the duo. Dazed, Joseph looked up to Chrysalis as she reared her head high, charging her horn, readying a blast of magic.

’No! Not like this!’ Joseph mentally screamed. He brought his forehooves in front of his face, hoping, praying, that just somehow he would survive.

Eyes clenched shut, teeth grinding against each other in trepidation, all he could do was wait, helpless under Chrysalis to do anything else.

Despite closed eyes, Joseph still managed to catch the flash of Chrysalis spell. roared in pain, and Joseph felt a weight lift off his torso. Still in shock, he waited what felt like an eternity before cautiously opening an eye.

The front wall of the stage had caved inwards, crushed by Chrysalis’ smoldering body. The blast from Vinyl’s mech had destroyed half the stage’s platform, and Chrysalis’ contact with it made it look as though someone took a backhoe to a pile of wood and carved out a section.

RUN! Nightmare Moon reiterated. While she’s distracted!

Joseph’s attention was stolen by Chrysalis’ pure, unadulterated expression of rage and anger as she stumbled from underneath the stage, shrugging off the splinters of wood, ephemeral magic stitching closed any open wounds in her cracked chitin. He almost felt like voiding himself at the sight.

Joseph hurriedly scrambled to his hooves, making the best of Chrysalis’ predicament to try and get as far away from her as possible.

“Stop him!” she roared as Joseph began running through the crowd as they parted with screams around him. Changelings dove from above and made valiant attempts to tackle him from every angle they could.

As he ran forward, Joseph saw changelings running at him. He managed to dodge two advancing changelings before one landed on his flanks from above. “Get off!” he wailed, bucking like a bull at a rodeo, inadvertently catching another two changelings square in the jaw.

Joseph felt something sharp catch on his back, and he screamed in pain. Looking back, he saw the changeling biting into his skin. Joseph quickly bucked it off and continued running, making for one of the streets that led further into the town. As he neared his destination, he saw one of the pulsating changelings blocking his way. It gurgled, as if it was taunting him. ‘You’ll never get past me!’ it seemed to say.

But, Joseph had had enough of Chrysalis’ shit. Using his lean stature and longer-than-average legs, he leapt over the changeling, a rear hoof catching the changeling’s horn as he landed on the other side with all the grace of a brick.

He looked back, seeing the changeling writhing and flailing in place as even more changelings gave chase. Before the changelings could enter the street, the one thrashing about suddenly exploded. Dozens of changelings got caught in the explosion of gore and viscera, and they too were disarticulated from the force.

Joseph didn’t stay to see how many dared follow him. He ducked and weaved down the streets, not caring where he was going, so long as it took him away from the bedlam in town square. As he rounded another corner, something caught on one of his forehooves, sending him tumbling ass over head into the dirt, rolling to a stop up against the side of a random building.

Hastily picking himself up, Joseph caught sight of a few changelings flying overhead. He wasted no time in finding the nearest door and rushing inside.

’What do I do!?’ he asked Nightmare, panicking.

We need to get into the Everfree, Nightmare replied.

’And what the fuck happened back there!?’ Joseph demanded.

Which part? Nightmare Moon asked wryly.

’The part where Chrysalis’ spell didn’t do diddly-fuckin’-squat to me!’

Sometimes the will to survive can be a... powerful force unto itself.

’I got zero fucking patience for your ambiguous bullshit!

Sometimes ponies get their cutie marks defending themselves in dire situations. Including–but not limited to–combat magic, and particle barriers.

’What!? Are you telling me I made a goddamn shield!?’

Precisely.

’That would’ve been the best feeling ever if I didn’t feel like I was going to piss myself…’ he finished in an exasperated sigh.

I wouldn’t count on being able to do it again any time soon.

None of the changelings had come knocking on the door, so Joseph decided to peek out of the window. Another one of those six-legged changelings zoomed past the window, and he ducked back behind the wall, hoping the creature didn’t see him.

’How am I going to get out of here?’

Twilight’s library is the next block over. If you get there I can telepo—

’No! I don’t want to puke everywhere again!’

Using just my magic on us both is taxing, which is why it hasn’t been the smoothest experience. Twilight, however, is bound to have some kind of spellbook, magical charm, or at the very least something that would allow me to supplement the spell to get us to the old castle.

Joseph had an idea that the castle Nightmare spoke of was the one he saw in a dream a while ago. He decided against asking about it, a trivial matter at this point, and instead turned his attention to getting to Twilight’s library.

He took several deep breaths to calm his palpitating heart. When Joseph could think more coherently, he kept himself pressed against the wall and looked outside the window. After a few minutes of nothing, he decided it would be safe to at least poke his head out the door and look up and down the street.

Determining that the street was empty, he carefully exited the building, making sure to shut the door behind him as he did so. If any changelings spotted an open door they once saw closed, it would tip them off to his position.

Go left down the street, take another left, and keep going, Nightmare Moon said. You’ll see the library sooner rather than later.

Following Nightmare’s directions, Joseph made it to the library without any changelings spotting him. Glancing at the building, he quickly spotted one of the curtains being pulled aside as Spike’s face peeked out the window. He was better off staying hidden, so Joseph wasn’t sure why he was looking out the window. Regardless, Joseph took the opportunity to toss a pebble across the way, taking a few attempts to actually hit the pane of glass. The pebble cracked the glass, which caught Spike’s attention. He threw the curtain aside to see what it was, and his eyes caught sight of Joseph vying for his attention.

Spike’s eyes widened when he saw Joseph.

Joseph made an effort of trying to mime to Spike to open the door. It took a few goes, but Spike eventually got the message and Joseph was relieved to see the library’s door creek ajar.

One last cursory glance to make sure the area was clear, and Joseph hauled ass towards the door, silently flinging it open with his magic. Once inside Joseph closed the door as silently as he could before facing Spike. “Dude, rule one in an invasion. Never look out of windows. Especially if things are making them crack!”

“But you were trying to get me to notice you!” Spike defended.

“Granted, but it’s still a stupid thing to do. How did you manage to get back here anyway?”

“I’m small, so I hid and managed to make my way back here. Where’s Twilight? Is she OK?”

’Awww, piss…’ “I would have thought she teleported back here by now?”

“That’s what worries me! She should be back here by now…”

Joseph couldn’t bring himself to tell spike what happened to Twilight. By the looks of it, Spike had already got out of there before Twilight made her ‘big reveal’.

“Look, she can take care of herself. She’s good at magic, right?” Spike nodded stiffly. “I’m sure she can handle herself.”

“What do we do until then?”

“We can’t stay here. It’s only a matter of time before those bug-eyed freaks find us in here.”

“What about Fluttershy’s cottage?” Spike suggested.

“What about her?”

“She told me that she normally spends Nightmare Night at home, so she’s bound to be there. And her house is away from town, so it’s likely she hasn’t been found.”

“Her house is on the edge of the Everfree, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, why?”

“That doesn’t matter right now. We need to get you there, and out of here.”

“What if Twilight comes back and we’re not here?”

Joseph considered that for a moment. “We’ll leave a note for her, how about that?”

“What if the changelings find it?”

’Oh for fucks sake…’ “Is there anything we can d—” Joseph had a realisation. In trying to learn how to send messages to one another, Twilight gave him the tiniest portion of her magic. It allowed for messages to be instantly sent from one to another. What he didn’t know is if Changeling Twilight was actually the real Twilight, or if the real Twilight was somewhere else. Eventually he thought up an idea to settle Spike’s nerves.

“I can send her a message. Like Celestia does with you, basically.”

“Cool!” Spike beamed. He ran over to a nearby desk and pulled out a quill and parchment.

“Twilight…” he began. “Gone to Fluttershy’s cottage. Please stay safe. Spike and Joseph.” He rolled it up and handed it to Joseph.

Joseph took the scroll and poofed it away. In reality, he just put it in his hammerspace pocket. He wasn’t prepared to take the risk of alerting Chrysalis to his whereabouts. Spike looked very relieved, and it weighed on Joseph to have to lie to Spike about her.

Ask if the dragon can find a book or charm, or something, Nightmare Moon reminded him.

“Spike, I need your help with something.”

“What is it?”

“Nightmare Moon can teleport us to Fluttershy’s cottage safely, but because she’ll essentially be teleporting the three of us—”

“Three?” he said, slightly confused.

“I’m two people in one body, remember? She has to expend twice as much energy to teleport me and her, which is why my breakfast ended up in the toilet earlier. She needs something to supplement the spell; a book, charm, whatever.”

“Celestia took the Elements back to Canterlot after… well, you know… Oh! I think there might be something. Keep watch up here while I go down to the basement.” Spike dashed off into the hall while Joseph kept an ear out in the main foyer. He heard a few noises, but couldn’t quite make anything of them, and wasn’t prepared to take the chance of looking out of windows anymore.

“Got it!” Spike called from in the hallway, running back in with a dusty-looking book.

“Keep it down!” Joseph reminded the drake. He levitated the book from Spike’s hand and looked it over. “The heck is this?”

Exactly what I was hoping she had, Nightmare Moon interjected.

Spike, on the other hand, didn’t hear what Nightmare Moon said, and added; “It’s the book Twilight used to read to learn new spells. Just be careful with it, Celestia took it out of the Canterlot Archives to give to Twilight.”

Essentially, it tells you how to weave certain spells a bit differently.

’Shouldn’t you already know this sort of thing?’

I can weave teleportation spells for individual people, collectively, but given we share the same body, weaving one spell to take three individuals in two bodies isn’t going to be enough. I need to find a way for you to piggyback on the spell, since I’m the one casting it. Now find the section about teleportation magics.

The book didn’t have an index by itself, or numbered pages for that matter, but fortunately for Joseph, Twilight had taken it upon herself to make an index listing the chapters, and the pages they were on, as well as taking the time to number each page.

He found the spell Nightmare Moon wanted on page four-one-six, so he let her cast it.

Hopefully he didn’t puke all over Fluttershy’s house.

Author's Note

Featuring fanart by Samaru163!

He said he really wanted to draw Joseph, in his 'mare form', drinking :rainbowlaugh:

Also, hooray for over 100,000 words!!!

Bonus points to anyone that can guess what game(s)/movie(s) Chrysalis used as the basis for augmenting her changelings. One of them is a mash-up of two, to make it a bit harder.

22| The 23rd Psalm

Author's Note

My 1000th comment, a high occasion for any story, was someone asking for an update.

Sorry this took so long.

(Note: I got rid of the "Immolation Part: 1, etc thing I had going on. I realised it didn't fit with the flow of the overall chapters at this stage. It won't affect reading at all.)

22| The 23rd Psalm

Down the path from Fluttershy’s cottage, a short-sounding thrum and a flash of light signaled Joseph’s successful teleportation.

From past experience, he readied himself to void his stomach, but when the sensation failed to arrive, he sighed in relief and looked around for Spike.

“Did the spell help?” Spike asked from behind Joseph. He was looking back at Ponyville, deep in thought.

Joseph walked up beside him. “I think the better question is; how’re you holding up?”

Spike didn’t answer. He balled his fists and took a determined breath, steeling himself and walked past Joseph and up the path to the cottage. Joseph used his magic to grab at Spike’s arm before he could get too far ahead.

“Let go!” Spike snapped, yanking his arm free of the aura. He turned to glare at Joseph through an enraged expression with heavy, nasally breaths.

‘Well, I guess that answers that question…’ Joseph thought. “Look, we’re in more shit than tub girl and we need to figure out a plan, alright?”

“No, it’s not alright!” A stray tear leaked from the corner of Spike’s eyes as they misted over. “She… Chrysalis, she…” His eyes clenched shut, trying to stem the flow.

Joseph walked up to Spike, sat on his haunches, and pulled him into a hug. Quiet sobs wracked Spike’s body as he tried to keep his composure, but he eventually acquiesced and hugged Joseph back.

“I know what it’s like to lose someone you care about,” Joseph said, looking Spike in the eyes. “And it’s alright to have a good cry about it; that’s how we know we care. But... the worst thing is not being able to do anything.” Joseph paused to consider how he watched his parents die in the hospital. The feeling of utter uselessness and lost hope had left him physically and mentally drained for a long time. “I’ll get her back, don’t worry.”

“H-how?” Spike sniffled and rubbed the back of his hand across his nose.

’Well if that isn’t the question of the day,’ Joseph thought before turning his attention to Nightmare Moon. ‘What kind of magic did you say Chrysalis was using?’

Biology orientated transmutation, she replied. She’s using her magic for forcefully transform ponies into her changelings.

‘What about the rest of them? The ones that she didn’t do… that… to.’

My knowledge of Chrysalis’ magic is limited. I know what she does, but not how she does it. That’s why we need to get to the castle in the Everfree. There’s ancient tomes there that’ll likely have information on her.

‘You really enjoy skipping around the point, don’t you?’

Without missing a beat, Nightmare answered; Do you know why Chrysalis takes her captives back to her hive? To me, it seems a likely reason get them out of her way and into a place where she can keep an eye on them.

‘Let’s just drop Spike off and get to the castle,’ Joseph amended before turning his attention back to Spike. “Nightmare said that Twilight could either be at the hive, or that that changeling could still be her. Now come on, let’s get you inside.”

“What’re we doing here anyway?”

“We need to make sure Fluttershy is safe.”

Good luck explaining to Fluttershy what has transpired, Nightmare said. You know how she is; she’ll likely have an aneurysm.

The duo made their way up to the cottage’s door, wherein Joseph rapped a hoof on it.

”Go away, no visitors on Nightmare Night!” bellowed a voice from within.

“Fluttershy, it’s Joseph,” he said dryly. Several seconds passed but he got no reply. He banged on the door louder.

“Nopony’s home!”

“I can hear you!” he replied with equal vigour.

This time it was Spike’s turn to bang on the door, although with both fists, and rather frantically. “Fluttershy, we need your help! Something happened in Ponyville!”

Joseph clenched his teeth and glared down at Spike, but he didn’t seem to notice. “Lesson number one in how to not be subtle as fuck…” he said under his breath

The door creaked open. The inside was pitch black, as if Fluttershy had extinguished every light source. The longer Joseph stared at the open crack, there was one thing that came apparent.

Shadows don’t have fur. Do they?

When the door opened fully, Joseph craned his head to look up at the bear standing before him. The massive creature gave him a disapproving look with crossed arms.

Joseph took a cautious step back, swallowed a lump in his throat, and said; “Can I get through? I need to talk to Fluttershy.”

The bear shook his head, then clasped his hands together and put them on the left side of his face, tilting his head as he did so.

“She’s… sleeping?”

The bear nodded.

“She couldn’t have been if she heard me knock!”

He snarled in reply, strongly suggesting that Joseph leave.

“Look, something happened in town and we need to come in!”

The door moved open another couple inches, and an eye half covered by a pink mane peeked around the door.

“I-is everything alright?” Fluttershy asked meekly.

“If Mr. Tall, Dark, and Scary could step aside, that would be great.”

“Come on Barry, let him in. Joseph won’t hurt us.”

‘Barry’ scratched his head and pointed a claw at Joseph, making some confused growling sounds.

“Not right now. I’ll tell you later.” He then stepped to his left, out of the way of Joseph and Spike to let them in. Once they were in, he followed suit and closed the door behind him.

“Sorry about Barry, he can get a little over-protective at times.”

“When your bodyguard is two-and-a-half metres tall and can rip large chunks of hamburger from your torso with his claws, I don’t doubt that he keeps those types at bay.” As Joseph stepped inside, he was overwhelmed by the multitude of animals that were scattered around the place. Barry exempt, there were birds, rabbits, mice, a few jackalopes, squirrels, ducks and ducklings amongst others and, much to Joseph’s confusion, a rather pissed-off looking white bunny sat on Fluttershy’s back. The rabbit seemed familiar, but he couldn’t quite place it.

And then the smell hit. Joseph recoiled slightly, nostrils flaring as the offensive odour did battle with the cilia in his nose. How could nobody else notice it? Regardless, he’d just have to do his best to ignore it for the time being.

“Y-you said something happened in town?” Fluttershy asked, bringing the conversation back to the original point.

’Damn it, how do I break this to her?’ Joseph looked down to Spike who, in turn, looked up to him with the same expression. “Uhm… Ponyville.” He thickly swallowed. “Ponyville got attacked.”

Fluttershy gasped and pulled a hoof over her mouth. “I-is everypony alright?”

”No,” he wanted to say. “I hate to beat around the bush, and this is something that’s as difficult for me to say as it is for you to hear, so I’ll be candid: Changelings have been replacing people in town and now their leader has staged a coup.”

Fluttershy’s mouth hung agape as her eyes seemingly stared past Joseph and into infinity. She was as stiff as a board, unmoving as she struggled to process the information. Several animals were watching the conversation, and more joined the crowd to see what was going on.

“Look, I need you to keep an eye on Spike while I find a way to get rid of Chrysalis.” Fluttershy blinked in confusion. “Their leader,” Joseph amended. Her mouth formed a small “o” and turned to look up at Barry, whose arms were crossed and looking down at both ponies with a neutral, stoic expression.

“No,” Spike interrupted. “She took Twilight, I’m going with you!”

“Not a chance. You can breathe fire, so if any changelings come snooping you can turn them into charcoal briquettes. And with Mr. Claws McNope over there, the two of you can do some damage.”

“Chrysalis has an army! Do you really think a baby dragon and a bear can hold them off!?” Spike exclaimed through a vexed glare.

“The fact that Chrysalis hasn’t even been here tells me that she either doesn’t know about Fluttershy’s cottage, or doesn’t care. What’s one timid mare going to do against her?” Joseph shot back. “That’s only a last resort, if it ever came to that. No offense by the way…”

“N-none taken…” Fluttershy replied, idly pawing at the ground.

“The longer I spend here, the more I’m putting the both of you at risk.” Joseph didn’t know if she had gotten her use out of her mysterious spell, or still wanted to use it to keep tabs on him.

“W-what are you going to do?” Fluttershy asked, looking up to Joseph through moistened eyes. “If Twilight and the rest of us can’t use the Elements on her...”

“I… I don’t know.” Joseph was just one person; he couldn't do enough damage to Chrysalis and her army. He needed her alone. “But I will fix this. She knows I’m going to come back, so I need to change the status quo somehow. Nightmare Moon said there’s something at the castle in the forest that would help.”

A loud, shrill whistle from somewhere among the animals drew the confused stares of those present. The white rabbit that was on Fluttershy’s back was impatiently tapping a foot on the floor, his arms crossed and staring down Fluttershy.

“Angel Bunny? What is it?” He proceeded to hop high enough to land on Fluttershy’s head, where he started being vocal with the other animals, squeaking away and making wild gestures with his paws.

He suddenly pulled out a little wooden sword that looked like it was made from chopsticks, from where Joseph couldn’t figure out, and thrust it forward with a squeak of finality.

All animals present dove back into their little houses with some running off into the kitchen. When they came back, they all brandished various forms of cutlery—forks, spoons, ladles and spatulas—as well as other items they could hold.

“Angel Bunny! You are not going outside!” Fluttershy angrily chastised before clearing her throat and speaking calmer. “I understand you want to help protect me, but like Joseph said; we’re safer here. Now put that thing away, please?”

Angel threw his paws up in the air in frustration.

“I’m sorry, Angel, but I can’t let you do that. I don’t know what I’d do if any of you got hurt…” She looked to the ground dejectedly, and Joseph saw the animals slump in defeat. “Now would everyone else be so kind is to put the cutlery back where you got it?”

’Can she actually talk to the animals?’ Joseph asked Nightmare.

Her talent means she’s good with animals, so she’d be able to talk with them on some level. You were speaking to the bear just before, weren’t you?

“I gotta say, I admire the balls on your bunny,” Joseph said out loud. Angel folded his arms in pride and gave a nod to Fluttershy. “Even though they’re probably the size of peas.” Angel gave a squeaky huff and hopped out of the room, then Joseph turned to Fluttershy. “You just need to lay low and stay out of sight. Keep Spike with you, too.”

“Uhm, okay…”

“They’ll find us eventually,” Spike said pointedly.

“Which means there is still time. I’ll get Twilight back, I promise.”

“I… Okay. I’ll stay here and keep Fluttershy safe,” he said reluctantly.

The more time you spend reassuring them, the less we’ll have to stop Chrysalis, Nightmare said.

“Look, I need to hurry up.”

Spike nodded. “Alright. Just be careful.”

Joseph looked up to Barry. He nodded stoically, wordlessly telling Joseph he’d also keep an eye on things. Joseph heaved a breath to calm his heart and anxiety, then turned for the door.

“Uhm, wait a moment…” Fluttershy said meekly. Joseph turned his head to look at her and she continued. “How will I know when everything is alright?”

He looked around the room at the various birds, and the idea bulb went off in his head. “Send one or two of your birds out in the morning. Until they say it’s safe outside, I can only hope nothing finds you.” Joseph cracked open the door to see if there were any changelings, but it was rather quiet all the way out here.

Looking back over toward town, he sincerely hoped he could find a way to put Chrysalis down before she could cause anymore damage. Nightmare Moon could only muster so much magic to craft her spell to reverse Chrysalis’, and he still had a few of his molotovs.

He had no idea if these changelings were vulnerable to fire like he hoped, but right now, that was all he had to go on. If not, then they can still cause some serious damage. That is to say he could throw competently, and hit his targets.

With five bombs left and hundreds upon hundreds of Changelings, that would require skill he didn’t have. And lamp oil.

Joseph began walking down the dirt path from Fluttershy’s cottage. ’How do I get to the castle from here?’

Keep heading south-east into the forest. You can’t miss it.

’How do I know you’re stearing me straight? In every sense of the word.’

Joseph stood before the dense thicket leading into the Everfree. He could already feel the shadows within weigh down on him.

I want to deal with Chrysalis just as much as you do, Nightmare said.

’I’m going to go out on a limb and say that your reasons are not the same as mine.’ Joseph breathed a relaxing sigh through his nose, boldly entering the oppressive forest.

As he tentatively strode through the looming shadows, his thoughts went back to something Chrysalis said earlier.

“You have the abilities of a god…”

Half an hour had passed with neither Nightmare or Joseph saying a word to one another. He knew she had an ulterior motive for helping him, but he knew it would be a wasted effort to try and get her to talk. Nightmare Moon could easily peruse through his head to find out what she needed to know about him, and while she could do anything she wanted in there, the risk of doing so outweighed what result she’d otherwise get.

The more he thought about it, there was one thing that didn’t sit straight with Joseph. How did he get where he is now? Not walking around a forest in the middle of the night, but… here, in every sense of the word. How did he wind up on this planet in the first place? What happened to his body on Earth? And why does Chrysalis have such a hard-on for him?

Breaking the blissful internal silence, Joseph asked; ’Am I still going in the right direction?’

Yes, you are. Nightmare said.

’And what did Chrysalis mean back there?’

Which part?

’Oh, y’know, the part where Chrysalis said I have the abilities of a god. Care to shed some light on that?’

No need to get snippy about it.

“Oh, I’m sorry, did you miss the part where I got kidnapped from my home and tossed into this stupid body, thrown into the midst of something that makes exactly zero sense to me, and not to mention how I lost the very thing that made me a man!?”

Sometimes shouting felt good.

Really good.

“You owe me some serious answers,” he finished irately.

Alright, I’ll give you that much, Nightmare said, dejected. Chrysalis is right, I am a god. Of what, you already know.

“Fat lot of good that does me right now. Anyway, how much longer to the castle?”

About another hour's walk if you keep on track.

“So that means we’ve got time.”

Do you expect me to tell you my life’s story while we walk?

“No, just answers to the questions I’m going to ask.” A twig broke somewhere off to Joseph’s right, and his head snapped to face the sound as he froze in place.

I suggest you keep your voice down if you don’t want to get eaten by manticores.

’If I was still on Earth I’d call bullshit on the manticores, but since I’ve got a horn, wings, something I never thought I’d get, and magic is a thing, I’m not remotely surprised anymore.’

You will be when one stings you. Death by manticore venom is not pretty.

More rustling caught Joseph’s attention again and caused his heart rate to increase. ’Part of me wants to stay and find out what that is since I’m genuinely curious, and the other wants to book it in the other direction so I don’t have to.’

To do so is a deathwish.

Just then a rabbit hopped out of the bushes, bounding over to Joseph. Only, this rabbit wore a tiny little general’s cap with a small wooden sword strapped to his waist with a piece of string.

“Angel?!” Joseph said. “Was that you following us?” Angel curtly nodded, pointing back and forth between him and Joseph. “What do you want?” He pointed back toward Ponyville, squeaking something incomprehensible.

Joseph just gawked at the rabbit as he played his game of charades. “Dude, I don’t know what you’re trying to get at!”

Angel pulled his ears down over one side of his face, adopting a more fragile posture.

“Fluttershy?” Joseph guessed. Angel nodded, hopping closer to jump onto Joseph’s back. “Woah there, what do you think you’re doing?” He plopped himself between Joseph’s shoulders and folded his arms and legs. “Oh, nu-uh, you ain’t coming with me!”

Angel whapped Joseph over the back of his head, pointing towards town again and going off at Joseph. Joseph, meanwhile, could only stare at the rabbit with bemusement and annoyance as the bunny continued his tirade and charade.

’What’s he saying?’ Joseph asked Nightmare.

I can’t understand him anymore than you can, she said.

“Just… hold the phone for a second,” Joseph pleaded. Angel stopped what he was doing and looked at Joseph, his impenitent glare unmoving. “Just bear with me and nod or shake your head at my questions. First question: You want to help Fluttershy?” Angel nodded and proceeded to wrap his arms around himself tightly. “Alright, you’re trying to keep her safe. Next question: Going off of what you did in the cottage, you think we need more help.” He nodded again, raising his paws high and slowly widening them in an arch. “A lot of it, apparently.

“And where do you think we’re going to get that help?” Joseph asked pointedly, arching a challenging eyebrow.

Angel turned around toward the depths of the forest, opening his arms wide and gesturing forward, rotating himself left and right, as if scanning the trees. He seems to think that the creatures of the Everfree would help, Nightmare translated. Personally, I don’t see why they would. They don’t like the ponies any more than the ponies like the creatures.

The rabbit then hopped off Joseph’s back and ran back into the bush he came from. Angel was gone for all of five seconds before a hushed “Ow!” came from the same direction. Out hopped Angel, and a larger shape moved through the bushes behind him. He heard some annoyed grumbling following a white hoof with a remote strapped to it stepping from the bush.

Vinyl emerged rubbing one of her ears against the side of her head, glaring down at Angel, then turned her gaze towards Joseph, her eyes narrowing in an accusing stare.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Joseph said angrily.

“I was in my house getting some music for after Trixie’s, or should I say Chrysalis’ magic show, when the mayhem broke out. After than I hoofed it in the opposite direction to get away and ended up running into the forest. After a while I was found by Fluttershy’s rabbit, so I thought he could lead me back to her place.”

Joseph noticed the remote for the soundstage still on Vinyl’s leg and asked; “What have you still got that on for?”

Vinyl brought it up to her face and used her magic to press a few of the buttons. “Well for one thing I made it so I’m not just going to leave it in the middle of the woods. Secondly, it went nuts for some reason a while back; started shaking, then it shut itself off.”

’What do you think happened?’ Joseph asked Nightmare.

That remote controls the music platform. When we fed the magic into it, the surge would have overloaded the remote.

“It’s dead,” Joseph said.

“What!?”

“Yeah, about that… I kinda fed Nightmare’s magic into your platform and the surge overloaded the remote.”

Vinyl stiffened in place, cautiously regarding the tall mare before her through narrowed eyes. “What do you mean, ‘Nightmare’s magic’? Isn’t this just a disguise?”

’Apparently she wasn’t around for the big reveal’ “Yeah, about that…”

The mare just stood, transfixed in place as the gears in her head began grinding. Her jaw dropped in realisation, horror washing across as she stumbled backwards. “Y-y-you’re real!” Vinyl blurted.

“It’s a long story.” Joseph explained as Vinyl plastered herself against a tree. “If you think I wanted to hurt you, don’t you think I would have done it one of the other times we were in the same room? Y’know, benefit of the doubt and all that good stuff.”

Vinyl reluctantly lowered herself to the forest floor and cast a wary look Joseph’s way. “Fine,” she acquiesced, “I’ll hear you out. Where are you going, anyway?”

“To the castle somewhere in the forest to stop bug brain back there. C’mon, either tag along or don’t; it doesn’t really matter to me either way.” Joseph glanced to Angel. “Same goes for you too. I need to put her down before things go from bad to a complete shit-show.” He returned to walking in the direction of the castle.

Vinyl looked at Angel and shrugged indifferently. “Better than town right now, that’s for sure,” she said before walking after Joseph. Angel hopped onto Vinyl’s back for the ride.

“So, where to begin…” Joseph said

~~~***~~~

Joseph recounted his tale for the next forty-five minutes as they walked. He saved some time by skimping on some of the detail, namely the parts he felt embarrassed or ashamed to mention. Vinyl listened as they ventured further into the forest, stopping now and then to ask a brief question.

Eventually they found themselves in a fog covered clearing. Up ahead sat two wooden posts in the ground, and as they got closer, noticed a rope and board bridge spanning to the other side of the ravine. On the other side was the faint, hazy silhouette of a large building, blocked by the thick fog. It was gently coaxed along by a barely noticeable breeze, a crisp chill permeating the ambience and accentuating the entire creepy factor.

We’re here, Nightmare said.

A short, shrill whistle caught the attention of Joseph and Vinyl. They turned and saw Angel standing back at the tree line. He pointed back into the forest and made a determined squeak, still adamant about gathering the creatures.

Joseph rolled his eyes in frustration and said to Angel; “Do you expect me to play diplomat to a bunch of wild animals? We’ll get mauled!” The bunny continued to berate Joseph through words unknown, and eventually Joseph’s impatience got the better of him. Ignoring Angel, he gave the rabbit the cold shoulder and turned back towards the bridge, contemplating the old wooden bridge.

Angel, meanwhile, threw his paws up in the air with frustration, and wailed with anger towards Joseph. He then hopped back into the forest, leaving Vinyl with Joseph.

“What are we even doing here?” Vinyl asked.

“I,” he corrected, “need to find some kind of magic that’ll help me get rid of Chrysalis.”

“I can help,” Vinyl said hopefully.

Joseph snorted derisively. “How?”

“I know my talent is music, but I’m also good with other things.”

Joseph looked over the bridge before him and smiled. “You can start by testing the bridge.” His smile transformed into a shit-eating grin, but Vinyl paid him no heed.

“Well, if it was good for Twilight and the rest of them, it’s good for me,” she said shakily.

A careful hoofstep told her the wood, while old, was still sturdy. She made it across easily enough and turned to Joseph, smiling smugly.

“If I can do it, surely Nightmare Moon can too!” Vinyl taunted, calling back from across the other side.

Joseph scowled at her and tested the bridge with a hoof. When he began to cross, his wings flared so that, if he fell, he could at least try and glide to safety. Or fall to his death and have every bone in his body broken against the cliff face on the way down.

Fortunately neither situation came to pass as Joseph let out a relieved breath he didn’t realise he was holding.

“Can’t fly?” Vinyl said with an edge to her tone.

“I’ve never flown before,” Joseph retorted. “Humans aren’t designed to fly, so I’ve kept myself grounded.”

“What happens when they do?”

“What am I gonna do, flap my arms and hope it works? If I jumped out of a plane and did that, I’d just wind up as pizza on the tarmac.”

“What’s a plane?”

“Just ssshhhhh, please,” Joseph said with exasperation. “I know you want to help, but I’m trying hard not to completely lose it right now.”

Vinyl’s demeanor softened and she turned to face the destroyed ruins of the castle alongside Joseph. The main foyer of the castle had been completely destroyed; there was almost nothing left of the walls, and the remains of the roof lay as piles of rubble around the room. The massive wooden doors that were the entrance were both ajar at different angles. Slightly open doors in the middle of the night were always something to be cautious of; one does not simply walk into an old castle without considering the possibility of getting jumped.

Joseph pulled one of the slabs of wood open further, the hinges screeching like rusted nails down a chalkboard. He grimaced, and when the noise had stopped and the door was open, he looked around inside, Vinyl craning her neck to try looking over his shoulder.

“Do you know what it is you’re looking for?” Vinyl asked, one of Joseph’s eyes twitching with a modicum of annoyance at the question.

Much of the castle is in ruin, Nightmare interjected to Joseph. However, some of the lower levels will have survived. There’s a vault under the castle that we need to get to.

“Nightmare says there’s a big room with lots of treasure in it,” Joseph mocked.

“Oohhhh!” Vinyl joyously sing-songed.

“Don’t you just love the idea of plundering ancient treasure vaults?” Joseph asked rhetorically. ’So, where do we begin?’

As you’re probably aware, Nightmare said sarcastically, old castles often have mazes of secret tunnels around. There are two leading off from the old throne room, so that’s where we need to start.

Joseph grinned as wide as the Cheshire Cat. “Which way to the throne room?”

23| The Millenial Vault

Author's Note

I've tagged a blog post to the release of this chapter, so go check it out. You can find it here.

23| The Millenial Vault

As Joseph walked through the rubble-strewn foyer, he couldn’t help but notice Vinyl’s expression, betwixt amazement and childlike wonder. He took it as a hint and began to look around the place more. Stone-carved pillars that once stood sentinel holding up the masonry were now shattered and flung all around the place like discarded toothpicks, and arched windows bore panes of half-broken coloured glass, their former designs unrecognisable.

Some ways in was a pedestal with a giant stone orb, and four smaller arms attached to a ring that rotated between the platform and spheroid. As Joseph got closer, he felt faint traces of magic emanating from the spheres. It wasn’t just any magic, something about it made him feel agitated and on edge. Situated in the middle of the room, he gave it the widest possible berth and walked around it. The anxiousness weakened the further away he got from it.

You felt it too, didn’t you? Nightmare said.

’It was almost as though it was… repelling me.’

It originally housed the Elements. It still has trace amounts of residual magic left in it. The Elements themselves are, in a way, designed to repel dark energy and black magic, so you’re feeling what I would have felt.

’What I wouldn’t have given for anti-theft technology like that on Earth.’

“This place is so cool!” Vinyl chorused as she and Joseph approached a large double door at the end of the foyer.

Joseph opened one side to a large corridor with doors lining it up and down. Shadows grew thicker as it was long, so he looked to the walls inside of the door for wall-mounted torches. Empty holsters adorned the wall for quite a way, but, through the darkness, he spied one further down, barely lit by the ambient moonlight from behind. He levitated it over without actually having to venture into the inky abyss, smiling with satisfaction when it got to him. “Got a light?” Joseph joked to Vinyl. He was about to ask Nightmare to light the torch for him, but the tip of Vinyl’s horn beaded with magic and the torch burst to life with a vibrant flame.

“How did you do that?” Joseph asked in surprise.

“It’s a spell I learned when building my now-ruined soundstage.” Vinyl took a moment to justifiably glare at Joseph. “It was helpful soldering components together,” she amended.

It is possible to fix that machine, Nightmare said. All I’d need to do is take out the magic we put in it, while she fixes any necessary physical damage.

“I’ll tell you how to fix it if you tell me how to do that.”

Vinyl carefully regarded Joseph as they walked down the hall. “As much as I want to not believe you for being deceitful in the beginning, there’s just… something about you that I can’t shake.”

“Deceitful?” Joseph said with a snort. “Did you honestly expect me to be open and honest about everything from the beginning? I can picture it now: ‘Hi, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Joseph Merrick, and I’m a hairless ape from a planet called Earth.’ Do you know how ridiculous that sounds?”

“I guess you have a point,” Vinyl meekly said. “Anyway, it’s a spell you need to know how to cast properly. It’s on the same vein of pyromancy, but doesn’t require as much magic or effort. Concentrate your aura in the tip of your horn and focus it on an object!”

Nightmare told Joseph the throne room is in the east of the castle, so he and Vinyl took a right hand turn at the end of the wider corridor. “I’m beginning to think this place is just as much of a maze as the tunnels,” Joseph commented.

Might I take a brief moment to address your companion? Nightmare asked.

’What for?’

There is something I need to tell her about where we’re headed.

Joseph thought about it as they took the next left. ’You have fifteen seconds,’ he acquiesced. ’But, I’m going to tell her first so you don’t freak her out.’ “Hey, Nightmare wants to have a word with you.”

That certainly piqued Vinyl’s curiosity. Her gaze spun to Joseph as she rubbed one of her ears. “I’m sorry, it sounds like you said; ‘Nightmare Moon wants to talk to me’?!” she exclaimed, aghast.

’Alright, you’re move. Remember, fifteen seconds and no funny business.’ Joseph cleared his throat in preparation for Nightmare’s takeover.

“Oh how it feels good to speak freely once more,” she cooed unnervingly. “When we get to the throne room, you’ll need to use your magic to scan the walls for resonant frequencies. Several of the doors were designed to use unicorn magic so only they and the princesses could open them. You just need to tune your magic accordingly.”

“I, uhm… Okay, I guess…”

Joseph felt Nightmare’s presence slip back into his head, but the experience of his mouth moving without his control felt beyond weird. He flexed his jaw to ensure he had command of his mouth. He couldn’t help but wonder if that’s how Nightmare Moon felt.

“Why can’t you do it, though?” Vinyl asked.

“Part of her being trapped in my head means she can’t use her magic to its fullest extent. If I tried to, it’ll likely end up badly. Y’know, non-magic user plus a lot of power and not knowing how to use it equals a very bad time. That, and she’s trying to pool what magic she can manage into trying to reverse the damage Chrysalis’ magic has done.”

Vinyl blinked and shook her head in relief. “I’m glad I don’t have an evil entity in my head.”

“Technically speaking, I’m in her head, I just have control of her motor functions. Her fault, though.” Joseph finished by inwardly blowing a raspberry at Nightmare. They went through the door at the end of the corridor into the room beyond, even more broken glass windows still in their frames and all over the floor. Under the windows on their right lay a stone bench with the tattered remains of what Joseph thought to be pillows. To the left were three doors; one on the immediate left, another in the middle of the room, and lastly, one at the far end.

At Nightmare’s direction, Joseph went to the middle door and opened it, this way leading to a large room at the end. Joseph levitated the torch into the room, the light barely illuminating the massive space. Only through a soft orange glow were he and Vinyl able to make out the confines of the room.

Books. Lots of books. Some were on the floor and the tables lining the middle of the room and weathered beyond recognition, and others lay opened next to completely melted candles, over a millennium of dust and rot covering them. Joseph pulled a book at random from a shelf and opened it with awe, Vinyl’s expression matching his as she leaned over his shoulder. While still in better condition, legibility was at it’s minimum. It was like trying to read ink that had only partially dried and was then smudged. Then, Joseph felt a presence tug at him from off to his right. He turned his head to a seemingly random bookshelf, eyeing it with curiosity and trepidation.

He fixed his gaze upon it, putting the book on a table and walking to the shelf as Vinyl followed out of confusion.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“I felt… something from over there. Not like being watched, but like something’s there.”

It’s one of the secret passages I mentioned; they can have magical signatures. Try having your friend open it. It’ll be good practice, Nightmare said.

“Now’s your chance to open a secret door,” Joseph teased. Vinyl’s expression, along with her horn, lit up, encompassing the entire set of shelves, books and all. Several resonant thrums echoed throughout the library they stood in, until finally, Vinyl had that ‘Eureka!’ moment. She closed her eyes to focus, and two seconds later the door began to grind open. It stalled halfway, rumbling to a halt by an unforeseen jam. Joseph tentatively stepped forward to poke his head around the corner.

He gasped in shock at what was causing the jam and stepped back as his heart rate spiked.

“What is it?” Vinyl asked, also stepping forward. Joseph looked down to Vinyl, only to discover a colour paler than white from her expression. A skeleton, turned to face down the dark passage, had its hindquarters crushed by the opening mechanism. The tattered remains of what could be called clothes had caught in the slide rails and dragged it in. The skull bore no horn, nor any extra bones that would have otherwise suggested wings.

“He must have gotten stuck down here…”

“Poor guy,” Vinyl lamented.

As Joseph stood at the entrance to the passage, he began to sense something from deeper within. “Do you feel that?”

Vinyl’s horn lit up and a glowing pinprick of magic beaded, floating down the hall. A thin veil of magic radiated from it, washing over the masonry. Joseph looked on, perplexed, waiting to see what she did. “Hah! The exit to the throne room is at the other end!”

Astounded, Joseph said; “How could you possibly know that!?”

“Different magical signatures~” Vinyl sing-songed. “I’d venture that each door has varying signatures to help the castle unicorns themselves know where they are so they didn’t get lost.”

“And what the hell was that light show?”

“Spell I learned while building my soundstage. Designed to scan systems and find anomalies. Anyway, it’s a little ways down, and there’s a couple passages leading off, so just keep going straight.”

The light of the torch had shrunk to half of what it was before, a dim orange glow being cast in the pitch black. Eventually, Joseph and Vinyl stopped before a stone wall at the end of the passage. The section of wall lit up with her magic, and eventually, slid open.

The door opened to the throne room as expected, and to their right lay two large, stone chairs atop a platform. Old banners of blue and gold, mouldy and decrepit from time, adorned the various pillars, and some looked to have been burnt from the bottom up. Puzzling enough, a broken, tiny stone bridge connected the two platforms on which the royal seats were situated, a massive crack running up the back wall. As far as the rest of the decor went, there were niches evenly spaced up and down the walls either side, unlit and cobweb-infested torches on their mounts.

Joseph stepped further into the room, lighting the torches either side of him, then levitating his torch around the room to light the rest, casting the room in a bright orange glow. He turned to face the thrones as Vinyl began looking for another door.

“Did Nightmare tell you where the other door is?”

“She know’s it’s around here somewhere, but she wasn’t able to get Luna to spill the beans to where it is, let alone open it.”

Both of you have the means to find it, Nightmare quipped in annoyance.

“Use your scan... thingy... to find it again,” Joseph said.

“I don’t know about you, but I’m not picking up on any more signatures for the doors. Could be that, since this is a vault, it’s going to be well hidden.”

Joseph walked about the room and took a closer look at the walls and ceiling while Vinyl did her own thing. The throne room seemed to be in better condition than the entrance did, although not by much. Holes in the roof ruled out anything hidden in the ceiling; the wall through which Vinyl and Joseph entered also ruled out that side of the wall; the broken window above the cracked wall leading outside suggested nothing too, so that left two choices, discounting the entrance to the throne room: the wall directly opposite the way they came, or the floor.

“Scan the wall over there,” Joseph said, pointing to the left side of the room. Vinyl’s horn lit and a beam of magic washed over the wall from top to bottom and side to side.

“Nothing over here.”

A smirk appeared on Joseph’s face as he pointed to each wall. “We came from over there. Outside is behind that wall and the roof is pretty munted. You just scanned that wall and the doors to this room are wide open. What option does that leave us with?”

“How can there be anymore places to look, then?” she said rather disappointedly.

Vinyl craned her head towards the roof, her eyes looking over everything Joseph noted. In that moment, both to confuse Vinyl and drive home his point, he promptly lay on his back on the floor and folded his front legs behind his head. As Joseph guessed, she looked down to him with absurdity.

“Why are you laying on the floor?” Joseph looked to her with an arched eyebrow. In that instant, Vinyl clicked to what she said. “The floor!”

“Exactly!” Joseph exclaimed, promptly getting back up. “Try to find a void under the floor instead of a signature. Should be easier. I think.”

“Well, let’s look at it like this: It’s a vault hidden by the princesses over a thousand years ago. Maybe over by the thrones?”

“Hmm,” Joseph mused. “Keep it close at hand. Since it was a diarchy, Celestia and Luna would have been in here in split shifts, so-to-speak. Nobody could have entered or exited without them seeing or knowing.”

I like the way you think… Nightmare Moon crooned.

“Makes sense,” Vinyl said, cantering her way over to the seats. She checked both sides and between the set of steps leading up to either throne, coming up empty handed both times.

Walking closer as Vinyl was doing this, Joseph stepped between the set of stairs to join her, looking over the block of stone too. He ran his hoof over the face of the stone, feeling for something. “Got something pointy and thin?”

“You used too, apparently…”

Joseph froze.

His head, very slowly, gravitated to glare down at Vinyl through Nightmare Moon’s evil gaze.

Vinyl was having none of it.

She was too busy holding both hooves over her muzzle, trying and failing to stifle the laugh that was making her red in the face.

Joseph swore he heard Nightmare laugh, also.

Eventually, Vinyl’s joke got the better of Joseph and he deflated, laughing alongside her. “I gotta admire you for having the stones to make that joke,” Joseph said lightheartedly. Despite everything, he appreciated a good-natured joke. He extended a hoof to Vinyl and she met him in the middle with hers.

“Hey, I’m just glad you didn’t send me to the moon!” Vinyl said, wiping some mirth from her eyes. “Wait… Can you do that?”

Yes, Nightmare said.

“No,” Joseph said a split second later. He didn’t want to give Vinyl cause for concern.

“Whew! Anyway... “ She magicked something that resembled a leather pricking tool and passed it to Joseph. “Just be careful with it, please.”

“If we make it out of this, I’ll buy you a new one.”

“...New?” Vinyl said with confusion.

Joseph then put the point on one end of the stone and pressed firmly, dragging it along the block higher up while keeping the tool straight. Half way down the block, the tip caught in something. “Put your hoof here. “Joseph grabbed Vinyl’s leg and put it on the spot where the tip caught. Wanting to confirm his theory, he did the same thing from the opposite end. The tool caught in the same vertical spot. “Take your hoof off, I think I found it.”

Vinyl backed off as Joseph dug the tip of the tool into the stone and started dragging up with force. Over a millenia of crusted stone and dirt was lifted from the crack between the two blocks.

“Right under their feet…” Vinyl idly murmured with realisation in her tone. “So how do we open it?”

“Magic, presumably,” Joseph said nonchalantly. “Have a go at it and see if you can’t do something.” Vinyl’s horn lit and focused her magic on the stone for several seconds.

“Yeah… No way I’m getting in there. While it doesn’t have a signature like the other doors to keep it from being found, the enchantment to keep it locked hasn’t worn away, even after all these years.”

“There’s always another way in.”

“Not in this case. My scan picked up that the entrance drops to a passage that runs the length of the throne room. There’s another door at the end and the room itself is…” Vinyl turned in the direction of the throne room’s entrance. “Further down that end, almost right under the corridor that leads to the main door.”

“Then we make another door: right above the vault. Can you tell how far down the room is?”

Vinyl stood just forward of the royal seats, lit her horn and furrowed her brow in concentration, and then stomped a rear hoof on the stone. “There’s four feet of stone between us and the passage.” She sighed. “So, what now? We can’t get into the vault!”

Joseph pinched his brow in thought and said; ’Nightmare? Any ideas?’

Only one. The entrance is likely still keyed to Luna and Celestia’s magical signature. Since I once possessed Luna, I should be able to trick it into opening.

“Here goes…” Joseph encompassed the stone blocks with his magic and told Nightmare to do her thing. Several seconds passed in silence as Vinyl watched on with intrigue, at which point a low grumbling noise could be heard. It grew louder, and the stones split apart with a sudden crack and shower of dust that made Joseph and Vinyl cough. Blinking a couple times, Joseph watched as the stone slowly split apart, revealing an inky pit below.

Both Vinyl and he approached tentatively, peering into the abyss. “You first,” Joseph said.

“How do we know it’s not booby trapped?” Vinyl asked.

“I’d wager that, considering Celestia’s arrogance, she wouldn’t put any wards in place because she was too confident in her ability to keep everyone out.”

“You’d think that nobody would notice the sound of the vault opening,” Vinyl said pointedly.

“Stone lasts for eternity, time doesn’t do it any favours.” Joseph took point and flared his wings, standing on the edge of the hole.

“I thought you didn’t know how to fly?”

“Don’t need to; all I can hope is that I glide. I’m not going to jump all the way down there and risk a broken leg. Besides, there aren’t any stairs!” Just before he jumped, Joseph levitated over two torches from their respective niches and dropped them in the hole. Sure enough, they landed a little ways down. “You’re not going to make it down on your own. I’ll carry you.”

Vinyl walked forward and looked deeper into the hole. Without warning, Joseph grabbed Vinyl around her barrel as she squeaked in surprise, flapped his wings once and then let gravity carry him down.

“Hey, that wasn’t so bad,” Vinyl said once she had her hooves on the ground.

“Are you saying that for your sake, or as a vote of confidence in me?”

“...Both?” Vinyl promptly picked up a torch and peered around the nondescript walls. The torches were bright enough to shed enough light for them both to see all the way to the end of the passage.

They walked in silence until they came to a featureless door carved out of a single block of stone. Vinyl did her thing where she lit her horn and stomped a hoof, then said; “It’s just on the other side of this.”

“What the heck are you doing when you stomp, anyway.”

“When you hit something, it makes a noise. I can use my magic and find out how far that sound carries. Contrary to what ponies may think, my special talent isn’t just music, it’s sound in general.”

“Alright, so how do we open this door?” As if on queue, the slab began to descend with a jarring shudder. Caught off guard, Joseph and Vinyl stiffened in place as stone ground on stone. Eventually, it slid to a halt with a loud thunk. “I don’t like how that happened without an explanation.”

“We’re the first ones to enter this room in over a thousand years…” Vinyl said rather distantly, ignoring Joseph’s concern.

Joseph swallowed thickly and began to walk forward, tentatively entering the room’s second story balcony. Two staircases flanking his left and right, spread out like you were looking out over a room from the top of a grand staircase. The room itself was laid out like a large half-circle with desks and tables in the middle, and through the light of the torches, he saw scores upon scores of books lining the bookshelf that spanned almost the entirety of the back wall. Both Joseph and Vinyl lit the sconces that lined the wall with the descent of the stairs as they went down.

“A thousand years…” Vinyl said again, her voice carrying throughout the vault.

Joseph eyed the various artifacts situated on the top of the bookcase with a few on the tables in the middle of the room, then turned left to look at the small space directly beneath the balcony from which they entered. A large, decorated desk made from heavy wood faced directly opposite the books and artifacts, several stacked parchments, quills, and a long-since-dried pot of ink on top.

“What is is we’re looking for exactly?” Vinyl questioned.

Some of the books and artifacts on the shelves will aid us, Nightmare said.

As Joseph went over to the desk, he said; “Let’s check the desk first. Maybe Celestia or Luna kept a record of what’s in here.” Pulling open a drawer, he saw stacks of paper bound with string like a hinge and wrapped in what looked like a leather envelope, wrapped again with string to keep everything from falling out. Joseph took the smallest of the five out of the drawer and opened it.

Entry 741 of the Celestial Calendar 021.

The attacker from two nights ago was apprehended and put in the castle dungeon. I still don’t know why it chose me of all ponies to assault, but I fear there is more to consider. Celestia was quick to deal with the situation by keeping the details out of the public eye, but the guards that came to my aid were of great service. She swore them to secrecy, with the threat of high treason no less. Princess Luna, for reasons that are beyond me, wasn’t told a word that I was assaulted. Why Celestia insists on keeping things secret defeats the pur—

The rest of the sentence was cut off by a straight, sharp line that ran across the rest of the page, almost as though it was snatched from under the writer as they were in the middle of the entry.

“Who do you think wrote that?” Vinyl asked from over Joseph’s shoulder.

“Geezus!” Joseph exclaimed, startled by the sudden appearance of the mare. “How long have you been standing there?”

“Long enough to read that. Flip back another page and see what else they wrote.”

Entry 740 of the Celestial Calendar 021.

I was attacked in my study last night by a creature I’d never seen before. I was working at my desk by candle light when I was struck. Had I not seen the flames of my candle flicker from the door being opened, I would have surely been killed. The blow only gave me a mild concussion, thankfully. I managed to buck it away from me, and it landed against the bookshelf. The contents of said shelves came crashing down around it, the noise startling it.

I didn’t get a good look at the creature, but it’s eyes were otherworldly. Pools of swirling blue and turquoise stared me down in the darkness, unnerving me to no end. Those eyes were all I saw at the time. I couldn’t discern any other details, unfortunately, but that will change when Celestia calls upon me tomorrow.

“So we know it was the same person that wrote the other one,” Joseph said pointedly.

“What were they writing about?”

“Consider everything that’s happened? Changelings. What gets me is these journal entries are in an envelope with Celestia’s category lists. Looks like she thought someone might find them.” Joseph fanned the other pages out on the desk from right to left to get a better look at them. ’Can you give me the slightest hint as to what we’re looking for?’ he asked Nightmare Moon. ’If we came all the way out here for nothing…’

I only knew of this vault. I assumed it’s where Celestia kept spellbooks she deemed illegal and things of that nature. Turns out I was right, but now you need to start looking for what’s going to help us. Mage spells, sigils, any artifact that will give us an edge against Chrysalis.

“You’re being about as useful as a nun’s cunt right now!” Joseph screamed, much to the shock of Vinyl. She stammered back a little and tripped backwards over the corner of a protruding stone.

“Shit, sorry,” Joseph said apologetically, using his magic to right Vinyl. “Nightmare Moon isn’t being very helpful right now.”

“Yeah, I thought as much.”

Joseph and Vinyl peered over the pieces of paper for several moments, both of them in awe. Spells for memory manipulation, mind control, high-level pyromancy, and even charms that forced others to tell the truth, among other dark magic were all indexed in the vault.

“Complete invisibility, necromancy, osmosis,” Joseph rattled on. “Just being around all this stuff is making me increasingly uneasy the more I think about it.”

“Yeah, you’re telling me,” Vinyl said.

“Anyway, that last one seems helpful.”

It doesn’t work how you think. That spell has you absorb the magic of another pony. The last time anyone did that, they ended up insane and in tartarus. Celestia only kept these books so she could reverse damage by anyone that managed to perform the magic. Look for the pyromancy if you’re so sure Chrysalis is vulnerable to fire, now you know about those spells.

“Well that’s not a bad idea, actually. Right, pyromancy…” Joseph muttered, flicking back through the pages. He found three pages listed with pyromancy spell books, then he levitated the pages out in front of them, using the reference in the column to find their location. He pulled the first book from the top of each page and took them back to the table. “Can you read spell books?” he asked Vinyl.

“Sure I can. These kinds of books are on a whole other level, though. Ones this ancient were made by ponies who were experimenting with avenues of magic, so they were highly skilled ponies. Let me see now…” Vinyl opened the book gingerly, idly letting the pages fall as her eyes briefly scanned the pages, looking for anything of interest. Halfway through, she fully opened the tome and pointed to a sigil that, while not ornately decorated like the rest of them have been, was simple in its design. “Try this one,” she said, tapping her hoof on the page.

His eyes scanned the parchment. “Shooting fire... from my horn...” Joseph said, dumbfounded. The page showed a relatively simple-looking sigil decorated with a few strange symbols and scrawled lines of writing dotted around it.

“That one’s easy, at least for what Nightmare Moon can do.”

“I am not Nightmare Moon!” Joseph reminded Vinyl. He slumped back into the desk chair, shoving the spellbook away without any regard. “It’s because of her that I’m here in the first place!” he shouted. “And we’re burning time with our thumbs up our asses while she could have killed everyone by now! And you expect me to be able to shoot fucking fire from my horn like a baby could do it!?”

To punctuate his dripping sarcasm, Joseph rolled his head and casually pointed his horn toward a wooden-looking statue sitting on a pedestal. Following the instructions on the page, Joseph funneled his magic into his horn and, to the surprise and shock of him and Vinyl, a narrow cone of fire erupted from the tip. The statue was promptly vaporized by the heat, leaving behind a pile of ash and scorched masonry.

“Or… Y’know… It could be that easy?” he said, gawking at the smouldering walls. The rising anger from before quickly vanished, replaced by the shock of what he actually did.

“Remind me to not make you angry again. Sorry about that… Look, if this idea helps, maybe since we’re here, we could find a book that’ll help you get back!” she said reassuringly

Joseph suddenly sat forward in the chair, beaming a grim. “That’s it!” He pulled the book forward, rummaging around the index listings. “Nightmare Moon used a spell book from Twilight’s library to augment her teleportation spell. If the spells in here are as powerful as I’ve been lead to believe, then there’s got to be something we can use to get back to Ponyville in no time flat!”

“What about what Nightmare Moon kept telling you about finding something that’ll help with Chrysalis?”

“Dude, I just shot fire from my head! Changeling’s hate fire! That just solved all our problems!”

“What about the teleportation spell?”

Joseph ran the tip of his hoof down the page until he found what he was looking for. He levitated over two tomes from the shelves over to the desk. Giving one to Vinyl, he said; “Take one and look for a group teleportation spell.”

Both of them did just that, several tense minutes passing by as each set of eyes hurriedly scanned the pages.

“Here!” Vinyl almost screamed, leaping up from her seat with more enthusiasm than was necessary, much to her embarrassment. Joseph chuckled as she awkwardly coughed behind a hoof. Looking more intently at the page, she continued. “One sigil works on small groups, charges easily and quickly and, awwwww…”

The disheartened way Vinyl said that concerned Joseph, but she continued on before he could say anything. “Made to be used outside.”

“Are you kidding me?” Joseph exclaimed. “We just go back outside!”

“...True. I was kind of hoping we could do one here and now to avoid going back outside.”

“We can either walk and waste more time, or run to try and avoid wasting more time.”

Vinyl dropped her stance and pawed at the ground with a hoof. “Running into a fight alongside Nightmare Moon? I’m terrified and thrilled at the same time!”

If you go charging into a battle armed with only a simple pyromancy spell, you will die, Nightmare Moon interrupted.

’Don’t you worry, I’ve got a plan.’

And what would that be?

’Call her out. Make her a deal that if she faces off one-on-one with me, the winner decides the fate of the loser. Thing is, I plan on taking her down with me.’

Do you honestly expect that to work? Nightmare asked.

’Chrysalis likes audiences. She wouldn’t turn down an opportunity to prove her prowess in front of a crowd.

Before we go, there is something we need. The glass case at the top of the middle section that has the blue gemstone in it. I need it to finish my spell.

“Gimmie a sec here,” Joseph said to Vinyl. He looked over the cases and spied the gem, which he quickly levitated out from its case.

This gem is one of many that are able to store magic, like what you’d call a battery. If you touch it to your horn, I can absorb the stored magic and use it as a catalyst for my spell. Without something to bolster the spell matrix, Chrysalis could dispel it with ease.

’You understand if something like this is setting off warning signs for me, right?’

“What’s this for?” Vinyl said.

Joseph got an idea. “Try scanning this and tell me what it is.” He passed the gem over to Vinyl to let her scrutinise it.

Vinyl’s eyes slowly widened, but Joseph wasn’t able to tell if it was the good or bad kind. “Oh wow,” Vinyl finally said, though the evenness to her tone didn’t help Joseph’s cause. “It’s some kind of… I don’t really know how to put it. The gem is a protective housing for an energy source. A big one. Very big, in fact.”

I wasn’t lying when I told you it was like a battery, Nightmare said scornfully.

“Here’s the thing,” Joseph truthfully began. “Nightmare Moon’s spell requires the energy in that gem so Chrysalis can’t counter it. She wants to absorb it.”

“Absorb it!?” Vinyl’s shock was enough to tell Joseph doing so would be a bad idea. “This thing has more magical potential than the vast majority of unicorns I know, myself included!”

“Probably ‘cause they all spend their time drinking and partying like you do,” Joseph said with a sly grin.

“Aww come on!” Vinyl protested. “That’s not fair…”

“Hey, you made a joke about my emasculation. Now we’re even. Regardless, is it safe to let Nightmare use the magic?”

“I mean…” She turned the gem over a few more times, trying to decide on an answer. “She could just put her spell in here and it’d do the same job. I think. It’s only energy storage, so you’ll need to find a way to cast it.”

“Riddle me this. If you cast a spell through this thing, what will happen?”

“It doesn’t work like that. I can use the gem to cast a spell, but it’s a case of being directionally applied.” VInyl cleared her throat. “Just to get this straight; Nightmare Moon has been constructing a spell matrix to reverse Chrysalis’ magic? Specifically, the damage done to Oc—” she cut herself off.

“Yeah. And so much more,” Joseph added sympathetically. “Don’t worry, I’ll get your friend back. I promise. It’s understandable to care about your friends, and if we can get this to work, we can take Chrysalis down. Let me have a quick word with Nightmare, then we’ll get out of here.” He took the gem back and turned away from Vinyl for a moment.

’I don’t trust you with this. For all I know, magic like this could very well be why I’m here. I’m going to bring this to my horn, but you’re only to put your spell inside it.’

You are in no position to bargain!

’And you are in no position to make demands when you’re entirely reliant on me for the survival of both you and the entire town, and potentially the rest of this country, world, whatever. We’ll get things done, but we’ll do it my way. Once we see this through to the end, then I’ll start trusting you a bit more.’

You’re ready to martyr Chrysalis at the cost of your own life!

’I just call that pragmatism. Don’t try any funny business…’ Joseph raised the gem up to the tip of his horn and let Nightmare do her thing. He felt the magic pass into the gem, confirming that Nightmare Moon did as she was told.

How do you expect to cast the spell? she asked disdainfully.

’Oh, I don’t need to…’ “Hey,” Joseph called to Vinyl. “Grab whatever we need and let’s get out of here. We have a bug to squash.”

01| Inter Mundos

Joseph was stuck working late at the office. Again. His boss seems to have it in for him; always giving Joseph menial tasks to do while he let the rest of his colleagues scarper off home to their families for the evening. Eight-thirty at night and he's still stuck in this god-forsaken building putting up with this trivial paperwork.

Joseph was a twenty-something year-old that a lot of people would consider average. He had this part time job but very few friends, and he didn't talk to the ones he had too much. His parents were unfortunately deceased. They died during a holiday they had taken Joseph on several years ago. Outside of work, he was pretty content with his life.

It got to that point in the evening where he couldn't bear the hunger pains eating away at his mind and belly. Three quarters done with the tedious paperwork, he elected to take the unfinished papers home and complete them in the morning over a cup of coffee before work, since he started later than normal on a Friday.

An audible growl came from his stomach that would have made an anorexic person jealous. Luckily a quaint little Turkish kebab joint was just around the corner from the office, of which he'd often visit for lunch during the day. It seemed a bit late for a meal, but because Joe was busy doing paperwork...

“Guess I need to go out then...” he said as he heaved a sigh, packing all the unfinished paperwork into a manila folder and in turn put that into his satchel. He put the finished papers in the 'OUT' tray on his desk so if his boss decides to check, he'd find them easily enough. Shouldering the satchel, Joe turned off the desklamp and headed out the door and made his way to the ground floor via the elevator.

He pulled out his coat from his bag and put it on underneath the bag to protect himself against the cold, and began to briskly walk—to keep his warmth—around the corner to get his meal. He got his food to-go, so he could relax at home and have a beer while he watched TV, which is, the best way to relax after a long day of work.

A couple blocks away from home, he passed an alleyway when an ear-piercing scream rang out from the opposite end Joseph stood at. Stopping just shy of the corner, he peeked around the corner and saw two shadowy figures abruptly moving around. The only weapon he had available was the kebab in the bag in his hand , he carefully but quickly made his way down the alley to the two struggling forms.

He called out: "HEY!" and the form on top shot its head towards Joe as he brought the kebab down over the would-be attackers head. The attackers improper stance caused him to stumble off of his victim, and that's when Joseph caught a glimpse of the latter; a woman dressed in business attire. Her clothes were bunched up and scruffy, suggesting the attacker was trying to have his way with her. Without a second thought, Joe picked her up by her arm and tossed her behind himself. Good intentions all the same, he got her away from the assailant but in a rather uncouth manner.

"Run!" Joseph screamed, watching the woman struggle to her feet as she began running in the opposite direction from her attacker. Joe turned to look at the offender, ready to swing his food-turned-weapon again if necessary, but never got the chance. The attacker's right arm swung in a curve at Joe, and he felt a searing pain roar out from his abdomen. The attacker withdrew his weapon, and, holding the knife in the reverse grip, the attempted rapist-turned-murderer buried the weapon in the side of his neck.

The pain coursed through Joseph; there were no words to describe the pain. In a faux attempt to stop the pain, he brought his left arm up to pull out the knife just as the murderer shoved past Joe, legging it out of the alleyway and into the night, never to be seen again.

Joseph dropped to his knees as the knife fell on the ground with a clatter, his meal landing amongst a pile of garbage. He collapsed onto some rubbish bags as a myriad of prismatic colours began to flood his vision. He let out a last, guttural groan of pain as his vision faded to black. The last thing he laid eyes on was the full moon against the black veil of the night sky as it pulsed a brilliant white light.

Joseph felt like a freight train travelling at the speed of light carrying a quarry's worth of stone hit him. The aftermath of the resulting crash had him feeling as though he was laying buried under those same stones, the cold permeating his skin and muscles. He felt himself still lying on the stone-cold ground, but without the pain in his abdomen or neck—without any pain for that matter at all. Aside from the sensation of being hit by a train after a night of drinking, he felt just fine. He cracked his eyes open, but he didn't find himself laying down in an alleyway. His hazy vision caught sight of what looked like mediaeval stonework and vaulted archway windows running in rows along an all but broken wall.

Batting his eyelids, he tried clearing his vision to better take in the surroundings. As his sight cleared, he glanced around and saw piles of stone and rubble, plants, leaves, and plenty of moss-covered stone. Through one of the archway windows he glanced up and saw the moon. 'Where the hell am I?' he wondered. 'Why does this place look like someone took a wrecking ball to it?'

Joseph tried lifting his head, but pain shot through it, forcing him to quickly drop his head with a pitiful moan, clenching his eyes shut. He wondered why his head didn't hit hard stone, and, upon looking down, saw a deep navy-blue cloud-like substance shielding his head from the ground. 'What in the... is this a pillow?' He brought his hand up to grab it, but it wasn't a hand that he saw. Studying the appendage to make sure he wasn't dreaming, he had a hard time coming to terms with what he was looking at. A large, thick, keratinous substance replaced his hand in the shape of a half-oval with fleshy skin recessed into it. 'Is this a hoof!?!?'

A million thoughts raced through his mind; mostly why he had a hoof instead of a hand. He looked down and saw another lengthy black appendage. Panicking, he struggled in place trying to effectually push his new appendages away from him, but to no avail. His mind still racing, wishing to get away, something in his mind triggered a reflex causing previously unknown appendages to burst forth from under him, flapping as they carried him several feet from where he once was.

Thoughts still racing, his panic got the better of him as he let out an extremely loud effeminate scream that echoed through the confines of the dilapidated structure as he fell from his brief flight.

"WHAT JUST HAPPENED!?" he screamed. As soon as the feminine voice crossed his lips, he clamped a hoof over his mouth. His voice was regal, far too feminine to be what was once his own. He tried to stand up, pushing up from the ground with his front hooves as he sat on his haunches. Looking down to gauge their position and how to move them, he noticed two small teats sitting either side of a fleshy crevice. He rolled his eyes with incredulity, scoffing. 'Because I totally just died and turned into a black girl horse... His gaze turned to the purple and white marking on his rear ...with ink stains on my ass...

"What is going on here!?" he screamed again. He saw the sun beginning to rise over the horizon, shining in through one of the glassless windows, breaking Joseph from his stupor. One of his new wings shot out in front to shield his eyes from the sun. Did I just do that? Or was it reflex?' he questioned. He searched his mind for an answer, finding something that wasn't there before. Like fingers or toes, the movements of which became second nature, he found himself being able to willingly articulate, move, and fold the feathery appendages.

'So... I'm a... a...' He thought himself insane for letting the mere thought of the word cross his mind 'A pegasus...' Pushing those absurd thoughts aside for now, as well as his new 'equipment', he focused on trying to stand up. The splayed legs presented a problem. The muscle groups needed to control these new legs are totally alien. He would need to actually put in the thought processes to move them. Touching the left hind leg with his front left hoof confirmed it had sensation as he focused on trying to move it.

He worked the leg and managed to command the muscles to contract, bringing the leg up to his side. He repeated the same with the right leg, and now he found himself sitting on his haunches with legs curled up against his side, almost as if his human self would be squatting. He slowly pushed up with his rear legs, shakily standing up. 'Calm down, you can do this...'

Did you ever stand up so fast you got a headrush? Joseph's newfound stature and height had him standing in a manner he never thought he would experience before. The sudden drop of blood pressure and lack of coordination from standing up too fast made his vision swim. Taking a few deep, calming breaths, the refreshing air cleared his head. Calm enough, he surveyed his surroundings.

'Definitely an ancient, mediaeval stone-type castle.' The room had columns every so often, nestled between the wall spaces in between the windows. At the end of the room, was a raised circular platform with an almost vine-covered throne of some description. Joseph gingerly walked up to it from his position. He studied the throne. The seat was flush with the platform itself, and what could be called the armrests had equine-esque busts at the end of the 'arm' rests. The odd thing about them was that the busts sported horns. 'If there are unicorns here too I'm going to totally lose it...'

Joe heard the faint pitter patter of tiny feet coming from behind, and he turned his head around to see a large, purple-and-green lizard poke its head out the door at the opposite end of the room.

"Who are you?" he asked.

Right at that moment, the creature turned around and bolted in the opposite from Joseph, screaming; "Nightmare Moon's back! Twilight, she's back!"

Several seconds later, he heard the distinct clopping of half a dozen sets of hooves, followed by six technicolour equines entering the room. They all stared at each other incredulously; the epitome of lucridity blatantly staring them all the face.

"Who... Are you?" Joseph asked.

A voice came from the group. Joe discerned it to be from the orange creature. "Uh, Twilight, didn't we just, you know..."

The purple creatures eye was twitching as it stared at the form of Joseph, idly nodding. "Nightmare Moon..." she stated. "How did you survive the Elements of Harmony?"

Joseph began to lose his composure. "HOW DID I WHAT!?" he roared, causing the group to flinch and back down. "I was on my way home, going to eat my dinner. I heard a scream from a woman about to get raped, so I got the girl out of harms way, then I get stabbed. NOW I WAKE UP IN THE BODY OF A BLACK HORSE WITH INK STAINS ON ITS ASS!!!"

The pink one of the group chuckled. "Hehe, Queen Meanie said ass!"

Everyone in the group shot her a disapproving glare.

The purple one continued, stepping forward heroically. "I will not let you cause eternal night again, regardless of how you saved yourself!" she commanded.

Joe rolled his eyes. "Oh tschk, do you really think I'm some kind of bad guy?"

"Well you did kinda sorta try to overthrow Celestia and plunge all of Equestria into a state of eternal darkness," replied the pink one again, although rather nonchalantly this time.

Joe hadn't fully realised it yet, but his voice was still that of the evil villainess', still completely feminine and regal. It seemed to have slipped his mind for the time being. "Oh you are rich, this whole thing is totally rich. When I wake up..." The words caught in his throat as he realized his faux-pas.

"But... I died... How can I be here?" The look on his face turned to one of horror as he looked back to the six ponies, plus the over-sized lizard. The seven of them began to doubt the situation judging by the looks on their faces. "What is going on here?" Joseph asked, growing panic in his voice.

"Spike," the purple one named Twilight, as Joe realized after connecting the dots, called out, "Take a message!"

"Now?" he asked with disbelief.

Twilight sat down, and the other five followed suit. "Stay right there, Nightmare Moon, we're going to sort this out." She cleared her throat and continued. "Dear Princess Celestia. Something strange has happened at your old castle. Check the whereabouts of your sister, Luna, and come back to the castle urgently. Nightmare Moon has somehow returned. Your Faithful Student, Twilight Sparkle." Spike pulled out a parchment and quill from seemingly nowhere, writing down the dictation from Twilight. Done, he rolled up the parchment, blowing it away on a breath of fire.

Joseph began taunting the seven of the group. "Lersen here Nertmare Meerrn, dis is seeeereuss!" He couldn't help but laugh and giggle-snort at himself. Or herself. Whatever the case might be. Oddly enough, the pink one followed suit. "What, are you going to start a musical number as well?"

"Oh oh oh, could I!?" she beamed.

No!!! Chorused the rest of the group.

Joseph sat back down on his, or her, haunches, rubbing his forehead with a hoof. "This has been a crazy few hours..." The alien appendage bumped something on his head, and he ran the hoof up it, and guffawed. "Wings and a horn!? Am I some kind of horse freak?"

"No silly, you're an alicorn!" commented the pink one. Again.

The lizard known as spike burped up a scroll. "Did that lizard just..." Joseph began, pointing a hoof at the creature.

"He's a dragon," deadpanned Twilight. "He sends messages via dragonfire." Twilight unfurled the scroll and read it aloud. "My Dearest Twilight. Luna is exhausted after the events that transpired. Given the mention of your note, I shall be with you momentarily. Sincerely, Princess Celestia."

"If Princess Luna is in Canterlot, then who is... that!?" spoke the white one with the purple mane.

"I already told you; I'm not who you think I am." Joseph paused to contemplate that sentence, tapping a hoof to his chin. "That sounds rather sinister. Allow me to rephrase. *AHEM* I am not whom you call 'Nightmare Moon'. I am, WAS, by all accounts, a human named Joseph Merrick. How I came to be in this body, I... do not know."

Moments after Joseph finished his sentence, the air in the room heated slightly and a brilliant white pulse flashed out from the middle of the room. Shielding his eyes with a wing, Joseph looked to where a brilliant white alabaster horse stood.

'Wings and a horn as well as myself.' The elegant white mare glowered at the reincarnation of her sister's evil doppelganger. Her horn glowed with a brilliant yellow light, and in an instant Joseph found himself with bright yellow bars surrounding him. Celestia had trapped him within a cage wrought with bars of light.

Wings spread, Celestia walked over to Joseph. "How is it you survived The Elements of Harmony?" she commanded in a soft voice.

"The Elements of Harmony? That sounds like a cheesy quest reward in a video game."

The Princess gave him a confused look, raising an eyebrow. She turned her head to look back at Twilight as the rest. "My Student, what have you got to say about this?"

"By way of answer, and in my interpretation, Nightmare Moon says she's from another world entirely. I would be inclined to believe her for the time being. Benefit of the doubt and all."

Celestia turned her head back towards Joseph, and he cut her off just as she was about to speak. "I don't care if you don't believe me, since all I have is my word and my word alone. All I ask of you and your posse over there is to give me the benefit of the doubt as little miss purple-smart said."

Celestia's demeanour relaxed. "That much is fair. Although I will have to keep you out of sight of the rest of my subjects and populace until such time as we can figure this all out. Twilight, I bid you farewell. I shall send for you at a later time."

Celestia's horn glowed again, dropping the cage spell and teleporting Joseph and herself away to Canterlot, into a special room Celestia had purposefully built for purposes of this kind.

The room itself had few furnishings. Bed, desk, and a few food items on a table next to a jug full of water.

"This room is enchanted," Celestia began. "You cannot get out of it without my knowledge, say-so, and intervention."

Joseph only nodded, wide-eyed, apprehension apparent. Celestia teleported out of the room, leaving Joe alone. Eyeing up the bed, he decided that some rest would be good for him right about now. Trotting over to the bed, he clumsily got into it, not bothering to pull the covers over him as he just lay his new head on the plush down pillows as sleep slowly, but surely, crept up on him.

Author's Note

This story is a reimagining of Admiral Q Ponyform's story, Death to Nightmare. I consulted with the original author before writing this, and he gave me permission to use the first chapter of his story as the basis for writing this. I have an entirely different direction for where this is going. Don't come bitching to me about the similarities and how I'm being unoriginal.

07| New Worlds and New Friends

Readers be like: "Wow, an update so soon!? The last chapter took two months!"

Yeah yeah, I had more free time on my hands lately and my writers block wasn't as bad this time around.

I'm putting this quote box here because knighty should hurry up and add a module that lets people add authors notes to the top and bottom of chapters. People might want to split relevant information between top and bottom.

In Ponyville, Twilight was going about her evening routine when she heard Spike belch from upstairs.

"What did I tell you about eating too much ice cream?" she scolded.

"It wasn't me!" Spike exclaimed as he hopped down the stairs holding a scroll in his claw. "Well it was, but the Princess sent a letter!"

Without any modicum of courtesy, Twilight plucked the letter from Spike's claw and unfurled it.

Twilight Sparkle, my most faithful student.

You are aware of the happening of Nightmare Moon reborn into a body of her own controlled by the thoughts of a male human.

As I did with you, I'll be sending him to Ponyville so you can introduce him to your friends. I have faith that you can cheer him up as he has had a rough time trying to adjust as of late. He will fill you in on the details of his being tomorrow morning when he arrives.

Having Pinkie Pie throw him a welcoming party so he feels more welcome would be splendid, as I know how much fun you had at your welcoming party. I believe this will help lighten his mood enough to have a good time and to better adjust himself to his new life.

Yours, Princess Celestia.

"What did the Princess want, Twilight?"

"You remember the Nightmare Moon incident back at the castle a couple days ago after the Elements purged her from Luna?"

"How could I forget? Something happened and Nightmare Moon saved herself."

"Not quite. I'll know more when she gets here."

Spike shot Twilight a horrified look. "What!? Nightmare Moon! Here!?"

"For some reason, Celestia kept referring to her as a 'he', and Celestia has no reason to lie to me. I'm going to do as she asks after talking to him or her or whatever it is called."

Spike waved Twilight off as he strode towards the kitchen. "I'm getting a snack before bed, want anything?"

"No thank you, Spike.”

Twilight rolled up the parchment that the princess had sent her, teleporting it away. She normally sent them to a desk drawer upstairs in her room for safe keeping until she decided it was time to throw them away. She then carried on with her reading as Spike walked back up the stairs with a glass of milk in one claw and a few cookies in the other.

He would usually heat them with his dragon fire to the point where the cookies would become soft and the chocolate would melt partially, where they would become a deliciously warm treat washed down by a glass of milk.

Twilight had tried searching more on the Elements of Harmony in Golden Oaks Library, but even the oldest tomes and books in stock had failed to produce anything worthwhile.

Twilight glanced over the remaining two and a half pages in the last book she had found to have anything pertaining to the Elements, but the vagueness of the information had her conclude that it wouldn't be any more helpful. Given the lateness of the evening, she decided to resume looking tomorrow when Nightmare Moon would show up to inform Twilight of the happenstance surrounding her.

Twilight, instead of staying up late like she normally would, decided an early bed would be in order. After the return of Nightmare Moon, she'd been reading up on the lore surrounding the Nightmare, Luna, Celestia, and the Elements since she got back from the castle. Frustrated with the lack of findings, she decided to sleep.

All she managed to piece together from the myriad of books was that The Nightmare was a high-class demonic entity banished to Tartarus. Over time, its name was forgotten to the land of the living. Nopony knew it's real name, only calling it by what the demon induced. As legend goes, when creature and pony alike dies, they go to either Tartarus or Heaven.

Twilight was thinking that demons have to come from somewhere, right? So what happens when ponies come face-to-face with their own demons? She shuddered at the thought. That would be the one question that nopony would want to answer.

When growing up, someone once told Twilight the definition of Tartarus: The last day you are alive, the pony you became will meet the pony you would have become.

The more she thought about it, Twilight realised that Luna wanted the populace to admire her night, believing herself to be shunned by Celestia's day. Luna refused to acknowledge that it was this hatred and nagging anger growing within that lead her to be possessed by the Nightmare.

As weird as it might have seemed to Twilight, according to one book about the supernatural, demons from the bowels of Tartarus needed permission to enter a host's body, garnering full control of the body and transforming it into an ugly version of their dark side: a twisted representation of themselves, what the host would look like with all their anger, hatred, and other negative emotions brought forth.

Such is what happened to Luna. The elegant Princess of the Night wanted her beautiful night to be noticed so badly, that she let the Nightmare possess her, believing that it could give Luna what she wanted.

But instead, Nightmare perverted her desires. Nightmare wanted to raise the moon and keep it there, and Luna was locked away in her own mind, screaming internally at Nightmare that perpetual night would likely freeze everything. Anything that required sunlight to live would eventually perish.

Luna got what she wanted, but in a way she never wanted it.

The following morning, Twilight was making her way downstairs all bleary-eyed. She barely got to the bottom when she got interrupted by a knock from the front door. Not wanting to be bothered with the journey across the room to open it, she simply used her magic to lazily swing open the door.

Standing in the doorway was none other than Princess Celestia.

"P-Princess!" Twilight stammered, hurrying over to the door to properly greet the monarch, as she did with a courteous bow. "I thought you were sending Nightmare Moon, not escorting her!"

Celestia stifled a slight giggle at Twilight's antics. After all these years, Twilight still behaved so formally around Celestia. While Twilight did it out of respect, it became a bit of a comical act for Celestia, having repeatedly told her student that such formalities aren't needed from student to teacher.

"While I did imply that I would send Nightmare Moon here, I thought it better to escort her myself instead of with the Royal Guard. It would save for any hoof-pointing if somepony were to catch her and remove the disguise." She stepped into the library, revealing an average-looking, dark-blue mare with an equally dark purple mane.

"Is that her?"

"Him," Joseph deadpanned. "I trust the pronoun issue won't be too much of a problem?"

Twilight seemed taken aback at his response, but Celestia spoke softly between them before Twilight could say anything more. "Luna has acquired a place for him to stay in Canterlot. As I said in my letter, I want you to introduce him to your friends."

Twilight smiled at the prospect of befriending both Nightmare Moon and an alien from another world. She had just gained five new friends, with whom she managed to defeat an evil villain, only to have the same villian reborn by a means unknown. The unicorn gestured with a hoof for Joseph to come inside.

"Spike is making breakfast. You can go help yourself if you like."

"Oohhh, free food is the best food!" Joseph exclaimed with mild glee as he walked past the two mares and through to the kitchen. Twilight just rolled her eyes.

"By the way Princess, while the books here are great, they don't shed enough light on Nightmare Moon or the Elements. When you come to retrieve her later, can I come back with you to the castle to get a few books from the Canterlot Library?" Twilight pleadingly asked.

"Which books do you require? I can have them sent to you."

"Books on demonology and obituaries from the time period any demon of significant status came up. They would be quite old. What I did manage to find is the Nightmare is a demon from Tartarus. According to the book, when ponies die they either go to Heaven or Tartarus. If a demon were to break free of its prison, it can inhabit a host body. I'm thinking if there's records that go back far enough, I could find references to different kinds of demons in a book, and possibly death records that might connect the Nightmare to a pony that died a long time ago."

Celestia's gaze grew more concerned at Twilight's request, but she didn't drop her cheerful expression.

Books about demons and other dark entities did exist, but a lot of the populace was mostly unaware of what lurked in the shadows, and thus the books went largely unnoticed in the Canterlot Library. Sure there were the real creatures such as manticores and parasprites, but Celestia had been around long enough and had seen many things to know that demons such as Nightmare Moon were all too real, and that everypony else brushed off as old wives tales to be told to scare the little colts and fillies during Nightmare Night.

Evil mages that practiced voodoo and other dark magic, whom stood over black, bubbling cauldrons were a popular genre of books, but the history of them was much more sordid than that.

Knowing that keeping possibly helpful information to herself would indeed leave teeth marks on her backside, she relented. "I will try to find you the obituaries and cross reference them with the time period of demons popping up, as per your request, although the death records will be rather difficult to find, as the written language in which they were written at the time could very well be hard to read due to the style and dialect used to transcribe them."

Twilight smiled gratefully. "Thank you, Princess. If we can find something to help... him... then he could live a normal life amongst us."

"Of course he will, that is part of the reason why I brought him here. Now, I must return to Canterlot to begin Day Court before I am missed. Have a good day, Twilight." The Princess gave Twilight an affectionate nuzzle, of which she returned, before leaving the way she came as she was pulled in the direction of Canterlot on the cart pulled by the Royal Guard.

Twilight closed the door and went to join Joseph in the kitchen. Entering, she saw Joseph sitting at the table taking bites out of a slice of toast that had an egg topped with hollandaise sauce.

"I gotta admit," Joseph began with a mouthful of toast and egg. "Your dragon friend makes a bang-up breakfast. In fact, I was just telling him that I only got stuff this good when I worked on the coast at a couple beachside cafes before I settled at my office job before I came here.”

Spike had put Twilight's breakfast on the table with his own, and neatly stacked the pots and pans in the sink for later cleaning. "Who's your friend here, Twilight? And when is Nightmare Moon getting here?"

To which Joseph replied with haste: "Shh, don't tell him," he snickered to Twilight. "By the way, call me Eclipse. Sorry for not saying anything earlier." he said to Spike, with Twilight catching his chosen name as well.

Twilight took the hint in Joseph's remark at not wanting Spike to immediately realise he had just served Nightmare Moon eggs on toast, and her mouth cracked a small grin. She couldn't do that to her faithful assistant.

"Didn't the Princess' letter say she would be here this morning?"

"Yes, Spike, it did."

"No, let him figure it out!" Joseph exclaimed.

"Figure what out? You two aren't pranking me are you?" Spike had sat down at the table by this stage, looking between Twilight and Eclipse with a thoroughly confused expression. Thirty seconds later, his eyes fixed upon Joseph. It took a moment, but his eyes widened with realisation.

"You... her... here... " He struggled to find the right words as the colour drained from his face when he let the full gravity of the situation sink in.

"Calm down Spike, she's not going to hurt us or anypony else."

"Gobble gobble," Joseph retorted with a smirk. "Wait why did I say that?"

"Not helping," Twilight deadpanned.

"Don't worry dude, I'm not going to do anything to you. If I was really out to get you, I could have come and gone before Twilight got to the kitchen. Besides, you made me an amazing breakfast and I'm eating it and not you. That should account for something, right?" Joseph's demeanour relaxed slightly as he finished his sentence with a reassuring look toward Spike.

Spike was still dumbfounded, managing to give a hesitant nod towards the individual in front of him–but he eventually spat out a few words. "I hope you know what you're doing, Twi. If the rest of the town finds out about this there'll be a big panic."

“His name is Joseph, and I’m hoping to properly introduce him/her to the rest of my friends, then if somepony figures out he is Nightmare Moon for whatever reason, they can vouch that she/he/it isn’t going to do any harm, having gotten to know the real person,” Twilight replied.

"Objection!" Joseph comically bellowed, much to the bemusement of Twilight and Spike, drawing their attention with looks of shock and an understandable modicum of fear. "That's pronounist!"

Joseph had an idea that the ponies harboured some semblance of fear towards Nightmare Moon, but he didn't know they would react that way to him raising his voice.

Twilight looked as though she was about to have an aneurysm from Joseph's trivial technicality. She mustered enough self control to ignore the smug, thoroughly amused look upon Joseph's face, turning to look at Spike.

"Can you go and find Rainbow Dash and tell her to get the others and come back to the library please, Spike?"

Spike took a few moments to let the presence of Nightmare Moon sink in, and considering Joseph hadn’t done the dragon any harm, managed to wipe the grin off his face from Twilight's reaction to Joseph's outburst. But, he lacked the self-control to keep himself from vibrating on the spot as he picked up his fork and started eating his breakfast in a failed attempt to hide his laughter from the obviously unamused Twilight. He only nodded in response to Twilight's question.

Rolling her eyes, Twilight got down from the table. "I'll eat when you two are through joking about this. I'll go prepare a room for our... guest, since you're going to be here for a few days at least."

Joseph and Spike watched as Twilight strode out the door believing her dignity relatively intact. The moment they heard the volume of her hoofsteps dissipate, both snorted and stifled their laughter as best they could.

Joseph extended a hoof towards Spike, and the dragon bumped his fist against it

"Is she always that easy to get one over on?" Joe managed to finally ask, taking deep breaths.

"S-sometimes," Spike answered. "She knows me well enough to know how I joke with her, but it usually only lasts as long as there's something fresh to joke about."

The two finished off their respective breakfasts, and without getting up from his seat at the table, Joseph levitated his plate over to the sink and rinsed it off. "You know, where I'm from, magic like this is nothing but myth and fantasy. I never thought I would actually be using it, not in a million years. If someone told me I would be, I would have called a mental hospital and have them admitted. It's absolutely amazing I don't have to get out of my seat to clean off my plate. Hey, if we had this kind of magic where I'm from then people would not need to move at all. On my world, magic consists of deception; sleight of hand, pulling rabbits out of hats–things like that. It's purely mind games, strictly speaking."

Twilight's presence was made known by the sound of her hoofsteps as she came back from upstairs. Spike huffed, and a puff of green flame flew over Twilight's breakfast to heat it up a bit, then he got down from the table and went over to the sink to clean up.

"Duuuuuuddde," Joe said with surprise and disbelief. "I wish I could breath fire! And do other magic stuff..."

"What do you wish you could breathe fire for?" Twilight asked when she walked in.

"Eclipse was just telling me that she'd never used magic before that, where she's from, it's just deceptive tricks." said Spike.

'Might as well get used to the mistaken gender ambiguation while I'm here...'

Twilight gasped, beaming a massive grin in Joe's direction. "You don't know how to use magic!?"

"I can do this." Joseph used his magic to pick up his half finished glass of juice from the table. He drank the rest of it and levitated the empty glass over to the sink.

"Impressive!” Twilight beamed. “How did you manage to do that from somepony who hasn't used magic before?"

"Well... I just imagined me picking it up with my hands is all."

Twilight magicked a scroll and quill out of nowhere, jotting down a couple things. "What else can you do?"

"That's about it really. I can only pick up one or two things at a time."

"Only two? Not three, four, or five?"

"I only have two hands!"

"Well magic lets you pick up multiple things. Like this." In a show-off display of her magic, pots, pans, plates, glasses, and Spike’s knife and fork on the bench where Spike was cleaning the dishes levitated up off the counter, hovering in a byzantium aura. "See! Try imagining more hands, I guess."

"Maybe later. So what's next on the list?"

"I'm glad you asked!" The scroll on which Twilight jotted the note about Joseph's use of magic disappeared with a flash as another replaced it. Joe's eyes widened at how much bigger it was compared to the last, and his jaw hit the proverbial floor as the bottom of the scroll hit the literal floor. Through the transparency of the parchment, he saw single lines of writing with boxes on the left of them. "I'll show you to your room, then while Spike’s out getting my friends, I'll try to teach you a bit of magic."

"Works for me. Why is that so long?" Joe asked, pointing a hoof at the floating scroll with a hint of trepidation.

"What, my checklist?"

'Oh no, she's one of those people...'

"It keeps me organized."

"Major OCD, dude..."

"No, it's CDO. The letters are in order that way. This is a library after all," Twilight indifferently replied before she rolled the scroll back up and poofed it away. "Now follow me and I'll show you to the room."

Twilight exited the kitchen as Joseph began to get down from the table. He turned to Spike. "Dude, run while you can."

Twilight showed Joseph around the library, taking him to his room first. It wasn't much, just a small guest room with a bed against the left wall and a two-drawer chest of drawers, the top of which sat flush with the mattress and doubled as a nightstand. Aside from those two things and the window above the set of drawers, it was pretty average.

She lead him back down the hall, pointing out the bathroom, shower room, and any other amenities he might need for his brief stay. What took Joseph by surprise was the sheer amount of books Twilight had in her own bedroom: a platform with a bed at one end and Spike's basket at the other, shelves on both sides of the windows. Each end of the platform was stocked with books. When asked how she got up and down there every morning and night, Twilight said she simply teleported.

Joe rolled his eyes at something he should have realised by now, but he was still in disbelief about teleportation.

The foyer that lay spread before Twilight's bed-platform as Joseph aptly named it, had a desk sitting under a window with an ink pot and a candlestick next to it. The rest of the walls were lined with books. The only other thing in the room was the stairs that lead into the main library below and the corridor they both just came down from.

Spike had left after Joe satirically warned him about Twilight's OCD to fetch the other five ponies, whom Joseph saw when he woke up at the battered old castle a few days ago. They made their way back downstairs and saw Spike walk in the front door.

"Find everypony yet?" Twilight asked.

"I found Rainbow Dash and told her to round up the other four and bring them here. If there's anypony that can do it fast, it's her."

"Should I take off the disguise?" Joseph asked, although clearly unsure whether or not it would be a good idea. "I won't have any of the armour on like the regular Nightmare Moon did so I won't look nearly as bad."

"Not downstairs, but that might be better done upstairs so nopony walking by will see an evil demon in their town's library. No offense."

"None taken..."

The three of them went back into the kitchen and Twilight took out three bottles from the fridge, setting one down in front of Joe as she magically popped the tops on all three.

"I'll take this upstairs and read my comic while I wait for the others," Spike declared before he hopped down off the table, bottle in claw.

"So I guess that leaves you and me, sparkle-butt. By the way," Joseph began as he took a large mouthful from the bottle. "What is this? It tastes like apples I know, but as for what it is?"

Twilight growled at Joseph, shooting him a poisonous glare. "Apple Cider."

"Isn't that alcoholic?"

"This stuff isn't, which is why I let Spike have some." She was bound to have said something else in return, regarding Joseph's remark about her cutie mark before a knock came at the door. Much to Twilight's disappointment, she didn't get the chance to teach him any magic just yet.

"Just open it!" a voice bellowed from the other side. "She knows we're coming!"

The door to the library burst open, and a blue blur streaked through the library and into the middle of the kitchen, hovering above its three occupants. Revealed to be the pegasus that was wearing the red lightning bolt necklace from back in the castle, Joseph looked her up and down to see if she'd recognise him. She didn't bat an eye at him, fortunately.

"Is she new?" Rainbow asked. Twilight nodded. "Does Pinkie know about her yet? You don't want to keep a new pony in town from her. I'm Rainbow Dash by the way," she said turning to Joseph. "Fastest flier in all of Equestria!" Her statement was punctuated by flying a couple laps around the kitchen, sending napkins flying and pots and pans that hung above the oven clattering.

At that stage four others walked into the room. "Eclipse,” Twilight began. “This is Fluttershy, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack." Joseph recognized them all from the castle, minus the necklaces. The pink one rocketed forward, getting more involved in Joseph's personal space than he felt comfortable with.

Then again, being trapped in the body of a demonic horse didn't exactly have any personal space or boundaries to begin with.

"Hi, I'm Pinkie Pie! What's your name? Is it something super dark and creepy? What about something fun and cheery? Nah, that doesn't seem right. Where are you from?" She gasped, inexplicably pulling Joseph closer by the scruff of the chest. "Has Twilight been hiding you from me!? I bet she was scared that I would throw you a bigger welcoming party than hers!"

"Pinkie!" Twilight barked. "This is very important!" Pinkie and Rainbow asides, the other three fixed a curious gaze upon Joseph. "You all remember Nightmare Moon from the castle?" They all nodded. "Let us go upstairs for this."

Twilight lead the way. Once they were all upstairs, she turned to look at them as Joseph sat to her right in the middle of the room. "Well, to begin with, this here is Eclipse. Princess Celestia sent her here and she's going to be staying with me for a few days, and I thought we could all show her around the town. She just arrived in Equestria a few days ago."

Joseph just silently huffed to himself at the misused pronoun. Granted he didn't like it, but he wasn't going to outright fault the ponies. It's not like they're doing it on purpose. Anyone else would make the same assumption first glance. For the purposes of his visit, in every sense of the word, he'd need to just tolerate the effeminate pronouns.

“Where ya from sugarcube?” Applejack asked.

"You can tell them now."

"Tell us what, darling?" Rarity said. "Rainbow Dash said you called us all here to discuss Nightmare Moon."

Joe looked to Twilight, whom nodded, letting him know it'll be OK to take the disguise off. He reached up towards his horn to slide the ring conjuring his disguise off. With baited breath, he felt it slide over the spiral grooves of his horn, the image of his disguise flickering the higher up it went. The girls began to go wide-eyed when they caught glimpses of who was underneath.

The ring hit the floor with a plink, and Joseph stared down at the floor while everyone stared at him. There wasn't any immediate reaction. It seemed as though everyone's breathing had hitched. Given the surprise, it was understandable.

"Ni-n-n-n-m-m-m-m..." Fluttershy mumbled, her eyes rolling back in her head as she slumped to the floor.

"Fluttershy!" exclaimed Rarity, using her magic to bring over a pillow from Twilight's bed and put it under Fluttershy's head as Rarity looking her over.

"Ya see what she did to Fluttershy!?"

"Applejack, she fainted," Twilight calmly stated. "It wasn't Joseph's fault."

"Twilight," Rainbow Dash said in a sharp, hushed manner. "What is she doing here!?"

"Wait, say who now?" Applejack quizzed.

"I am not who you think I am. I am not from around here either," Joe said, carefully looking up at the mares.

"Y'all better start explaining yourself!" Applejack declared.

With a heavy breath and looking up from time to time, Joseph recounted his tale of what brought him here, to the best of his ability. From the office to the alley, saving the woman and getting killed as a result. That would be the epitome of cruel irony Joseph thought. The part that still had everyone confused was how he actually got there, and none of the other five—or four, as the case may be—could make heads or tails of it, despite all of them having different ideas.

It was speculated that Nightmare's enchanted armour wasn't, as Joseph and Twilight agreed, 'calibrated' correctly. The armour was only instructed to "find someone else" to make its host, and it did just that. Nightmare didn't specify anyone in particular, from any point in space-time or any planet, whether they be dead, dying, or still alive and kicking.

As far as Nightmare was concerned, the spell had served it's purpose, but at the cost of locking herself away in her own body. He briefly explained that the Nightmare was still present in his mind and that he could talk to her, adding that she seemed to be inactive at the moment, which had him mildly concerned.

It did help shed a small amount of light upon the situation, everyone having contributed towards solving the issue. But the remaining issue was that Nightmare was inside his head, and Twilight got out the same scroll and quill from before, noting all the theories and ideas that were mentioned.

"So, uh, y'all are a he instead of a she?" Applejack ventured.

"She's a she-he!" Pinkie giggled. "What about a he-she? A he-she-she-he?"

"Pinkie, please! Now's not the time!" Rarity scolded the hyperactive mare.

"Yes. I am a human male trapped in the body of a female horse. The biology is messing me up something fierce. My mind is telling me I'm male and to do guy things, but I don't really have any means or capabilities to do so. Not to mention the equipment..."

Joseph tapped the side of his head. "I don't know if this brain is mine either, but I'm guessing it's not. A human brain doesn't have the neural links, connections and the maps in the to be able to flap wings and use magic." Joseph punctuated the point by giving the feathery appendages a solid flap which blew Twilight's scroll from her magical grasp, much to her bemusement, but it earned him a chuckle from Rainbow Dash. He also demonstrated his magical abilities—or lack thereof—by bringing the other pillow from Twilight's bed over and putting it underneath the other to further support Fluttershy.

She must have been a light sleeper, because that movement of her head stirred her from having fainted. Her eyes blinked open, and the first thing she saw was Rarity looking down at her with a smile, glad that she was awake.

“Are you ok there, Fluttershy?” Rarity asked. Fluttershy weakly nodded, carefully eyeing up Joseph as she slinked in the opposite direction.

"I gotta show you how to use those things better," Rainbow chuckled, floating over to Joseph to look over the pair of black wings. "They're not just to annoy Twilight, you know."

"Hey!"

Joseph smirked. "But you would need to consider what would happen if others saw Nightmare Moon galavanting around a quaint little town during the middle of the day. They'd think I'm trying to eat you if you're teaching me to fly while I'm chasing you to keep up."

Rainbow sheepishly rubbed the back of her head. "Oh, yeah... What about at night? Everypony's normally asleep then."

"Could work. Although if someone woke up, we would have the same problem."

"Can I interrupt here?" Rarity said. "I understand why you wanted to show us this, Twilight, but what are you going to do about her—I mean him!"

"Well... I was kinda hoping all of you could show him around. You know, get 'Eclipse' better acquainted with the town so if something happened to the disguise, on purpose or by accident, then the townsponies won't think ill of who they would assume to be Nightmare Moon. Granted they would be scared at first, but the means to the end is to get them to see Joseph for his character, and not who he is in body."

"'I suppose it's a good idea. Although somepony might let something slip at some point, and then the rumours would spread like wildfire."

Twilight levitated the ring off the ground and slid it back onto Joseph's elongated horn. Although longer than a regular unicorn horn, the disguise fooled the onlooker into seeing a smaller one, as he went from tall dark and scary to the size of the six mares present. From the girls' perspective, he was no longer imposing over them like a foreboding shadow.

"Pinkie's party would be a great place to start," Rainbow said. "When I first got here she had one set up in under an hour. The Cakes' whole place was filled with balloons, streamers, gifts, and other ponies! Beats me how she did it."

"Shhh, it's a secret!" Pinkie replied, her intention to whisper it into Dash's ear but within earshot of everyone.

"Uhm, how long have the six of you known each other?" Joseph queried. "You seem to be rather closely knit."

All six mares exchanged glances for a moment before Rainbow spoke up again. "Well, Fluttershy and I have known each other since flight school. She moved to Ponyville after getting her cutie mark and started taking care of everypony's pets. I knew Applejack from her selling apples to everypony in town, Pinkie Pie throwing parties and inviting literally everypony, and I didn’t really know Rarity up until now, but she makes dresses and other clothes. We've known each other in passing, but only just the other day did we become friends because of Twilight." Rainbow paused, looking Joseph up and down once more. "Oh, Nightmare Night is in a couple weeks, too! You would be super awesome if you went without your disguise to scare everypony!"

Rainbow finished her sentence and flew over to Twilight, wrapping her front hooves around the purple mare's neck in an appreciative hug. "Group hug for Twilight bringing us all together!" Pinkie Pie declared.

Everyone ran over to Twilight to join in on the wrapping of appendages around one another's bodies. Joseph stayed in his spot, awkwardly observing the spectacle. He let out a heavy sigh through his nostrils, reminiscing all the times he had shared hugs with his parents, family, friends...

How wonderful it would be to feel them in his grasp yet again, how happy he would be to see them alive once more, even for a minute. He never did get to say his proper goodbyes to his mum and dad before they passed, which only added insult to injury watching these friends hug one another. Just one minute was all he needed, one minute to say he loved them one more time. Then, he could live better knowing he had at least said his final goodbyes to the two people most important in his life.

"Never take the people in your life for granted," his mother once told him. "You never know when they might be gone." He knew it first hand all too well. He did stay in the hospital for the good part of five weeks staying by their side as their conditions worsened.

Throughout that whole ordeal, he felt completely numb, void of any emotion. The bags under his eyes were becoming more and more prominent from his lack of sleep, and not getting enough added to how shitty he was feeling overall. All he could do, seeing his parents' condition worsen throughout the weeks was just sit at their side, or outside the quarantine area and wish they get better. Not being able to do anything to help speed their recovery in any way made Joseph felt utterly useless. Had his parents gotten better, it would have warmed their hearts to know that he stayed by their sides as long as he did, and at the end of the day that’s all that really mattered.

"Darling, you look positively upset," Rarity said.

Joseph looked up at the six girls staring at him. Fluttershy looked positively sheepish, like Joseph was a wolf about to eat her. “I… I know you’re Nightmare Moon and all… But…We're not going to leave you out of this.”

“You died,” Rarity added. “You deserve a nice big hug.”

“I-if you want to, that is..." Fluttershy concluded.

To Joseph, a hug sounded fucking fantastic. He weakly meandered up to the group, placing his front hooves around Rarity and Twilight, who in turn pulled him closer, giving Joseph the tightest, most comforting hug he had felt in years.

Author's Note

First off, I'm going to be borrowing lore from the Supernatural TV series. But do not make any comparisons, it will only confuse you.

Also, this is where things start deviating from the show's chronological episodes.

Thanks to Requiem17 for editing, and Blue Blaze {COMET} for general consistency.

20| The Final Ingredient

Author's Note

Due to a cock-up on my behalf regarding the development of the story, the previous chapter has been renamed and this chapter will take on the same title.

Also, shout out to Samaru163 for proofreading and editing the shit out of this chapter!

Click here to read a blog I made a few days ago regarding the chapter.

20| The Final Ingredient

3pm the following day...

Celestia strode through the dampened stone corridors underneath Canterlot, accompanied by a Solar guard leading the way. She knew her castle like the back of her hoof, although the guard was a precautionary measure. Celestia knew how to handle herself if the need were to arise, but the less-than-model citizens that resided within these halls wouldn't hesitate at an opportunity to maim a lonesome princess if given the chance. With a guard by her side, the prisoners only gave sneering glances or shouted vulgarities in her direction.

Arriving at her destination, Celestia turned to face the occupant of this particular cell. The guard stood off to her left with a ring of various keys floating in his magic.

Joseph was reclined on the fold-down cot in the room, hooves crossed behind his head. His pose suggested he was resting rather comfortably on the mattress. "Well if it isn't God Almighty herself," Joseph taunted.

Ignoring his attempt to get a raise out of her, Celestia wordlessly motioned to the guard with a nod of her head to open the cell door.

"Woah woah, hold up there," Joseph began, sitting up. "You planning on letting me out?"

"That is the idea, yes," Celestia said.

He smirked. "Little Celly scared that Chrysalis might actually go through you to get me?" Joseph taunted, his smirk widening. "You're only letting me out to save your own ass; you're just scared of her as much as anyone else is."

Dismissing Joseph again, Celestia said; "I shall be releasing you conditionally."

"Under what pretence?"

The corner of her nose curled as she suppressed a desire to mouth off at him in the same manner befitting of someone so contemptuous. "You would do well to remember whose company you are in."

"Is that it? You expect me to kowtow to you?"

"You fail to understand that I can keep you here for as long as I see fit. Outside of a hoof-ful of ponies, nopony else knows you're here."

Joseph’s eyes flickered as if deciding to tell her something he did but otherwise shouldn’t have. His smirk vanished at Celestia's statement, but returned just as quickly for what he had in mind.

The keys clinked as they came into contact with the cold steel of the cell door at the behest of Celestia, but once again, Joseph stopped the guard.

"Do you wish to remain in here?" Celestia queried, somewhat agitated by his stalling. "Twilight wrote me saying she's expecting you at the Nightmare Night festival in Ponyville this evening. Would you disappoint her?"

"Oh, by no means do I intend on staying here longer than necessary. I'm just savouring this moment."

"Pray tell... why?"

"Well... I can see you're a bit agitated... Annoyed... Uptight... At what I couldn't care less, but something you said yesterday when you put me in here made me think." Celestia simply raised a curious eyebrow. “You said: "Your level of magic is no hope in getting out of there", which is quite true, I certainly couldn't, but Nightmare Moon has the capabilities." Celestia visibly stiffened, looking down her muzzle through narrowed eyes at Joseph. "You said I'm free to go, right?"

"...Yes," she said with an air of caution.

"Then I bid you farewell. I'm off to a festival!" And with that, Joseph's horn charged with magic, and in a brilliant white flash, he disappeared, leaving lingering particles of magic that glittered in mid air which soon dissipated.

Celestia just stood, dumbfounded, bemused, and thoroughly angry, staring at where Joseph once laid.

2pm, Ponyville, an hour prior...

Twilight Sparkle was walking through the streets of Ponyville, excitedly taking in all the festivities the town had to offer. A lot of the stores had put up 'spooky' decorations; jack-o-lanterns, fake spiderwebs, and tomb stones to name but a few.

Rarity had offered to help make Twilight a costume for the night, but she’d respectfully turned it down. Twilight had her own vision of how she wanted her costume to look, and seeing some of the costumes Rarity had made earlier dissuaded Twilight from the offer.

Rarity had been prettying up otherwise scary costumes. A werewolf costume with groomed and conditioned fur, and a mummy with sparkling wrappings. Twilight couldn't help but wonder why she was doing that. After all, it was a night meant for freaks and ghouls, not sparkly mummies that could've passed themselves off as walking disco balls.

She had her own costume ready to put together back at the treehouse, but she just needed some help sewing a few things together. Put off from Rarity's help for fearing she'd embellish it unnecessarily, Twilight opted to recruit Fluttershy's uncanny sewing abilities to finish the outfit.

On her way home from having gone shopping for some treats for any trick-or-treaters, she offloaded the candy to Spike to carry. Rather predictably, he'd not so covertly opened one of the bags and was snacking on it when he thought Twilight wasn't looking.

For some of the store owners, they closed their shops a little earlier than normal to set up stalls selling Nightmare Night themed trinkets and snacks where the bigger crowd would be gathered tonight: Town Square.

Twilight was too busy drinking in all the sights that she didn't notice when she bumped into an oncoming pony!

"Oh, sorry!" she exclaimed, but on looking at the pony in question, quickly saw it was Applejack.

"Twilight!" Applejack beamed. "Checkin' out the festivities are ya?"

"Mmhmm! Everything looks amazing." Her gaze turned to the cart the farm pony was hauling. "What are all the barrels for?"

"They're for the festival. Settin' up some fun games for all the colts and fillies!" Applejack said, continuing to walk through town as Twilight followed. "Pumpkin tossin', spider throwin', and apple bobbin', which is what the barrels are for."

"Pumpkin tossing? Wouldn't that be a waste of food?"

"Naw, these pumpkins are old. We scrape up what we can and feed 'em to the pigs. No wasted vegetables here!"

"Technically, Applejack, pumpkins are a fruit..."

"Say what now?"

"Pumpkins, tomatoes, anything with seeds inside of it is a fruit."

"Uh huh..." Having arrived at her chosen destination for the evening, Applejack gruffly unhitched the cart. "Well, Ah've got work to do. Catapults to set up, barrels to fill..." Going off the mare's current attitude, Twilight wasn't sure if Applejack was being discreetly callous, or if there was a lot of weight in the cart she was hauling.

"Alright then, Applejack, I'll go finish my costume. I'll see you soon!" As Applejack got to work, Twilight and Spike set off towards the library.

As they passed back through Town Square, they saw the main stage being set up, something the town assembled when a show was going to be put on. Keeping an eye out for Mayor Mare, Twilight spied her over by the stage looking through a scroll.

"Mayor Mare!" she called out. The mare in question glanced up from her scroll through the top of her glasses, her expression lightening up.

"Twilight Sparkle! What can I help you with?"

"I was... just wondering if you had a spare list of the performances tonight. I just want to plan my time between each one so I can see them all," she said, although a bit sheepishly.

"I don't have a spare copy, sorry, but I can tell you there's only two scheduled performances: Trixie Lulamoon the magician, and music for the festivities by Vinyl Scratch." The mayor ran the tip of her hoof a bit down the list. "Trixie should be here in a few hours, and Vinyl is on her way back with some more of her equipment. Ah, there she is!" Over Twilight's shoulder, Mayor Mare caught sight of Vinyl pulling a cart with the remainder of her equipment loaded in the tray.

"Thank you, Mayor."

"Have a spooky nightmare night!"

Twilight made her way over to Vinyl to ask; "Excuse me, I was just wondering what time you'll be playing tonight..."

"Oh hey there! I just need to connect these speakers with the rest of the stuff, make sure everything else is properly connected, run a couple tests with the sound and speakers, than I should be ready to go in... about an hour or so?"

"Thanks, I'll be back once I've got my costume organised."

"That reminds me, I've got somepony joining me later! I tell ya, she blew the club away I was at in Canterlot the other week!"

"Then I should really get my costume finished so I can be back on time to catch the two of you. By the way, who is it?"

"It's a secret," Vinyl said with a wink.

Twilight just grinned, bade Vinyl farewell, located Spike—who ran off to check out a couple of the stalls—and made her way back to the library to finish her costume. She had everything she needed, so she just needed to take it over to Fluttershy's so she could help fix it up in time. Spike already made his costume, so it was just a matter of putting it on, something Twilight could help with later.

By the time Twilight was finished at Fluttershy's, they had just enough time to get home and put everything on. Arriving home, the two of them went into the kitchen, Twilight for a drink and Spike so he could offload the candy onto the counter. He hurried out the kitchen and headed upstairs, much to Twilight's confusion.

"You're supposed to put the candy in a bowl, not on the counter, Spike!"

"Bathroom!" he called back down, shutting the door behind him.

Twilight went upstairs to her room to change, but stopped when she stood in the doorway. Her bedroom window was wide open, the closet door ajar, and something was moving around in it.

"Did you put your costume in my closet, Spike?" she asked, gaze flicking between the open window and the closet.

Suddenly, the rustling stopped. "Spike..." Twilight said cautiously.

"This isn't funny." All of a sudden, the closet doors slammed shut, startling her.

"What are you doing in there, Spike?!" She took hold of the handles with her magic, yanking them open. Just clothes hanging on hangers and a couple boxes of miscellaneous items.

But what caught her eye was half of the hangars were pushed forward from the back of the closet.

Something was hiding behind the clothes.

Having finished up his ‘business’, Spike went downstairs to keep an eye on the door for trick-or-treaters, taking the opportunity to put on his costume. And helping himself to more candy, of course. A couple minutes later, he heard something fall over in Twilight's room, so he hurried up to her.

"Twilight, are you ok? I heard something fall!"

"I'm—uhn!—fine, Spike! This... costume—" something smashes "—is just a bit difficult—oof!— to put on!"

More shuffling, the sound of whatever broke being put into the rubbish bin, something slamming shut, and then Twilight opened the door. She stood proud—although a little flustered—adorned in a blue robe with moons and stars patterned all over, and hat that also had bells around its edges.

"Uh... Are you supposed to be that one creepy grandpa from Ponyville Retirement Village?" Spike ventured.

"I'm Starswirl the Bearded!" she dryly shot back. "Did you read that book I gave you about obscure unicorn history?"

"Isn't it a bit early to go walking through Ponyville wearing a costume? It's almost three. Everything should be set up by four at the earliest. Why not just wait for a bit?"

"Not a chance, Spike, I want to make sure I can see and do everything. Now, let me help you into your costume so we don’t miss anything." She was half way through helping Spike into his costume when a flick of something in the middle of the room out of the corner of Spike’s eye caught his attention.

He nudged Twilight with an elbow, saying; “What’s that?” Two sets of eyes narrowed at it, trying to figure out what it was, and in that instant, a field of magic materialised with a thunderous crack. As the magical field dissolved, it unceremoniously deposited its target in the middle of the room with a thud, and an “oof” from the one in question.

Joseph took a moment to right himself, supporting his head as he stood up to try and deal with the wave of nausea coursing through him. With a lurch of his stomach, Joseph clambered for the stairs and ran for the toilet, ignoring Twilight and Spike’s confused and alarmed stares.

“Joseph?!” she exclaimed, hurrying after him with Spike running after the two of them. They both stopped as they both found Joseph with his head buried in the ceramic bowl, depositing his breakfast of porridge and toast into the once white basin.

"How did you... What did you... Huh?" Twilight balked.

"I'm never going to get used to that..." Joseph said groggily, pulling off a length of toilet paper to clean what caught around his mouth.

Twilight looked at Joseph, her expression a mixture of surprise and disbelief. Mostly disbelief. "How... How did you manage to teleport?"

"Ugh... I didn't. I had Moonie do it for me."

"You had Nightmare Moon cast a spell for you!?” she hissed “That's dangerous!"

"Where else is she gonna send me? Back to Earth? Oh no, please don't send me home!" He punctuated his sarcasm with a roll of his eyes, then promptly flushed the loo. "I need some food after that. And a drink. Got anything good?"

"First you're telling me exactly how you ended up here!"

"Can you go get me some food while Twilight gives me the third degree?" Joseph asked, craning his neck to look at the drake behind Twilight. He nodded his head and fled down the stairs. Despite Twilight's scathing glare, Joseph recounted the last week, leading up to the last twenty-four hours or so. "Well lets see... I've been reeking for a week; kept getting hit on; then Celestia 'summoned' me; called her a cunt; got arrested after the fact; got tossed in jail overnight, and while I was on the inside, I asked Nightmare Moon to teleport me here after Celestia said I was free to go, just so I could wipe that smarmy little grin off her face."

"You can't talk to Celestia like that!" Twilight exclaimed, the corner of her eye beginning to twitch in exasperation of having to deal with Joseph. "Won't she be looking for you?"

"Twilight, understand that she said I was free to go. I told her not to open the cell so I could stick it to her after I teleported out. Just me being an asshole. What's she gonna do if she finds me? Send me to the moon? Pfft. Anyway, since I'm here, I should get cleaned up for the festival tonight." With all that out of the way, he finally gave Twilight enough attention to see what she was wearing. He squinted at the outfit, trying to figure out what she was supposed to be. "...Merlin?"

"Ugh!" Her frustration was punctuated by glowering at Joseph. After all, having somebody teleport into your house will tend to leave a sour taste in your mouth. Especially if that someone was Nightmare Moon incarnate.

In that moment, Spike came back up the stairs with two apples and a banana in one hand, and a glass of milk in the other. Joseph grinned a bit at seeing the fruit, but Twilight was less than reluctant to let Spike past, so Joseph just levitated it through the door. He just sat on the floor, looking at Twilight, who was still behaving like a mother would.

"So... You gonna move or what? Neither you nor I want to miss out on this, do we?"

Twilight trotted back down the stairs with a huff, leaving Joseph and Spike snickering in her wake.

"Girls, am I right?" Joseph said with a grin. That just made Spike giggle harder. "What?" he inquired.

"Uhm, dude..."

"What?" Spike bit his lip to keep from laughing too loud. "What!?" Joseph demanded. And then it dawned on him. "Oh... OH! Shut up!" Spike couldn't help but laugh on his way downstairs.

An hour or so later, after Twilight had an opportunity to calm herself down properly and readjust her costume, and after Joseph properly cleaned up and ate, the trio made their way into Ponyville a little after four.

"So what's the haps around here tonight?" Joseph said to break the silence during their walk into town.

"Ex…cuse me? Twilight asked in confusion.

"I think he wants to know what's going on tonight," Spike amended.

"Us guys understand each other." Joseph gave Spike a grin as if to say 'yeah bro', which he returned.

"...Right. There's two performances tonight: a magic show in a few hours by one Trixie Lulamoon, and Vinyl Scratch is going to be playing some music. She's a musician."

"Oh, I know who she is. Ran into her in a club in Canterlot. She's cool."

Twilight's eyes widened as her brain put together the pieces that Vinyl told her a couple hours ago. "Wait... You DJ'd with her at a club in Canterlot?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"She said she was expecting a guest to show up tonight. That wouldn't happen to be you, would it?"

“I don’t remember. I was too busy up on stage with Vinyl mixing music and the crowd roaring,” he said with a grin.

Twilight growled in annoyance towards Joseph, giving him a scathing glare before sighing in resignation. "Let’s... Let’s just get to the stage so we can see Vinyl perform," Twilight finished with an exasperated sigh.

Joseph, Twilight, and Spike arrived at the main stage in due time, on which Vinyl had her stereo equipment setup. Another pony, a lighter blue unicorn stallion, stood next to her over the mixing board, and each had one half of the cups of the headphones, twisting them to fit over their ears while they rocked their hooves with indecisiveness at whatever they were listening to.

Joseph saw Vinyl suddenly perk up and tugged her hoof down as if to say "Aw yes!", and then the other pony high-fived them. Or... whatever these ponies did.

'What do you call high-fiving here?'

Nightmare rolled her eyes internally. Hoof bump, I suppose, or whatever those kids call it these days.

'Foreign customs are about as funny as they are weird.'

Joseph watched as Vinyl’s eyes scanned out over the crowd, and she pushed her glasses down the bridge of her nose to look over the top at them more clearly, trying to spy someone in particular. Eventually she spied Joseph, or as she knew him, Eclipse. She smiled broadly and frantically gestured while mouthing "come here!" to him. He eventually saw what she was doing and double checked around him to make sure she wasn't gesturing to someone next to him.

Joseph grinned widely at Twilight as he made his way over to the stage, and up the stairs on the left. Joseph kept looking sideways at Twilight, giving her a sense of unease. She’d mentioned she knew about his exploits at the club, although not all of them, so messing with her was a bit of fun. Joseph made his way back through the crowd, noticing Rarity and Rainbow Dash walking up from behind Twilight to her.

As Joseph turned away from Vinyl, she put her headphones on, flicked a few more switches and twiddled a few more knobs, then took the headphones off to hang around her neck. When he turned back, he gestured for her to come over to the four of them. Rarity and Rainbow watched with baited anticipation.

"Hey everypony!” Vinyl said as she cantered over. “Eclipse and I have one heck of a show planned in a little bit!"

"So tell me, Vinyl, what exactly did you two do in the club in Canterlot?" Twilight queried.

"All I can say is wow! I hired somepony to dress up as Nightmare Moon—" Twilight visibly stiffened and her eyes glued themselves to Vinyls words henceforth "—but she showed up late. It wasn't until I went out on stage dressed up as Nightmare Moon in the outfit I supplied that Eclipse here literally stole the show with her costume of her! I tell ya, it looked so real!"

All eyes were drawn to Joseph after that, and he just smugly huffed a breath onto a hoof and mockingly polished it against his chest. "Yeah, I know a thing or two..."

"Well," Vinyl said excitedly, "can you show us what else you can do?"

"Yeah! Ba-bawk! Show us!" Pinkie inexplicably appeared next to Joseph, her uncannily accurate chicken's crow startling him.

"Where the hell did you come from?!" Joseph exclaimed, jumping back a step.

"My mom, silly!"

"Just..." He sighed in exasperation and looked Pinkie up and down. "What are you supposed to be? A giant cock?"

"No, I'm a chicken. Ba-kawk!" She lept up and drill-pecked at Joseph's mane, and he responded by furiously batting the mare out of his personal space.

"What the hell?!"

Pinkie planted all four hooves back on the ground, the twisty end of several pieces of candy in her 'beak'. "You had these in your mane!"

"No, Pinkie, I didn't, I can tell you that for a fact." He turned to Twilight, Rarity, and Rainbow, all while Vinyl was stifling a laugh behind a hoof. "Is she always like this?"

"I've lived in Ponyville most of my life, and I still don't know how Pinkie does what she does," Rarity said admittedly, giving Pinkie a confused glance as she scarfed the candy.

"Yeah," Rainbow added, "she's weird like that."

"That is not..." Joseph looked around for the aforementioned mare, but she had already run off to who-knows-where. "...natural?" he finished awkwardly.

"Look at it like this, dear: don't think about it too hard," Rarity amended, trying to make Joseph more at ease with a soft pat on the back.

"Anyway," Vinyl piped up, "I'll start my show at five when most of the ponies will have started to explore the festival a bit more. That shouldn't take until a little after five, so come back before then so you can put on your costume, alright?" she directed at Joseph.

"Sounds good to me."

"Awesome! See you fillies in half an hour."

As Vinyl made her way back to the stage, Rarity turned to Twilight and asked; "You wouldn't have happened to see Sweetie Belle and her friends around, have you?"

Before she could get two words out, Rainbow said; "I saw them hauling a cart towards Sweet Apple Acres."

"She could at least tell me what she's doing! She's been behaving rather strangely recently..." Rarity groaned with frustration and concern. "I can't look after her and put on my outfit at the same time!"

"I still haven't put mine on yet either!" Rainbow added.

"Well, what are you supposed to be going as then?"

"Shhh, it's a secret," Pinkie's voice said. Despite three heads looking every which way, she was nowhere to be found.

"She's probably the most scary person here," Joseph said, his voice taking on a frightened edge.

"Twilight," Rarity practically begged, "Would you mind making sure she's not in any trouble for me, please?"

Joseph could just tell that Twilight was torn between wanting to make sure her friend's sister is alright, and wanting to peruse everything the stalls and games had to offer.

"I got time to kill, I'll go. Just point me in the right direction," Joseph said.

She glanced around and stuck her hoof down a large street ponies were beginning to file out from, some dressed up while others weren't. "Head west to the school and take the road south, you should get there soon enough. I just need to know she's alright, so after you do that come by my boutique and let me know."

"Alright, see you in a bit." With a curt nod of goodbye, Joseph began to follow Rarity's directions. He headed down the main street, trying not to get lost as he made his way to the school. He hadn't seen it before, but he doubted a school would be hard to miss. Rarity's directions were a bit off, as when Joseph reached the outskirts of town, he came to a small river a hundred or so metres away from the edge of town, but no school. He asked a pony at random where it was, and they pointed out across the river and down some three hundred metres.

"It looks like a barn and has a belfry," they said.

"Cheers," Joseph replied, continuing on his path. The school itself was quaint and out of the way of a lot of the town's traffic, so he began following the dirt road towards the farm, hoping he'd conveniently run into the three fillies. As he was coming up to the main entrance to the farm, he thankfully saw the fillies sitting on the ground fiddling with a bunch of dowel rods sharpened at one end, three rolls of tape, and a cart loaded with fireworks sitting behind them.

"Nuh uh, it goes like this!" Scootaloo exclaimed, taking one of the dowel rods, holding a firework against it, wrapping it with tape, and plunging the sharpened end into the dirt.

Joseph cringed as he saw this. The firework was only loosely attached and fell off when Scootaloo stabbed the rod into the ground.

"Awww," she groaned. "Why won't it stay on?"

"You're not wrapping it tight enough is why," Joseph said, catching the three of them off guard. They spun around to look at him as he walked up to them.

"I know you, you're that mare from school the other week!" Apple Bloom exclaimed. "What're you doing here?"

"I volunteered, at the behest of Rarity, to come see if you three were alright. Glad I did, 'cause it looks like you're liable to blow yourselves to kingdom come. Are you trying to set up a fireworks display?"

“Yeah, but it ain’t going so well as you can see…” Apple Bloom said with a wave of her hoof over the pitiful attempt at a fireworks display.

"Shoot!" Sweetie Belle immediately exclaimed, drawing the attention of the other three, tossing dowel rods and tape to the ground.

"Can't get them to stick apparently. Here, let me show you." Joseph took one of the rockets, a rod, and one of the three rolls of tape. He held the rod parallel with the firework, firmly wrapping it in tape all up and down the body, leaving the fuse exposed, then sinking the sharpened end into the ground. "That's how you do it. Just hold it tight and be liberal with the tape. Don't half-ass it and expect it to work."

Wide-eyed, and looking like they had just re-discovered the wheel, they each grabbed a rocket, a rod, tape, and easily replicated what Joseph showed them. He supposed someone just needed to show them how to properly do it.

"Cool!" Apple Bloom exclaimed.

"We'll have these done in no time!" Scootaloo added.

"Do you just plan on sticking them into the ground to let them off?"

"Uh huh..." Sweetie Belle added nonchalantly, making up her third rocket.

"I got an idea for you. If you've got the time, build a frame that holds all of them in tubes, in rows and columns. That way none of them will fall over."

"Neat idea!" Scootaloo beamed.

Hold on a moment, Nightmare Moon interjected. Joseph’s mention of the frame caused her to recall a memory of what he called a ‘television’.

Upon hearing what she had to say, the idea bulb went off in Joseph's head. ’Do you want to use it against Chrysalis? Wouldn’t that be considered overkill?’

She's going to show up with an army of her changelings. Call it crowd control.

Grinning widely, much to the confusion of the crusaders, Joseph said; "Scratch that, here's a different idea. Still make the frame to hold the rockets, but mount it on the cart. Then you can adjust the angle so the whole town can see the display!" It was the truth, but at the same time it wasn't. He was feeling slightly conflicted at having these little fillies build such a thing, but if worse came to worse...

'Are you sure Chrysalis is going to show up tonight?'

Changelings are highly proficient at disguises. Costumes are an integral part of this festival, so she could likely waltz through town like you will be in ten minutes and nobody will be the wiser. Everyone will be in town, so what better place to initiate her plans in a place where she can keep everyone corralled?

'I still don't get why she'd come to this place. As much of a backwater town as this is, it doesn't make much sense.'

Taking care of threats such as you and the Elements is a priority.

'You've thought about this way too much, haven't you?'

When you've been on the moon for a thousand years there's not much else to do.

'You need to get out more.'

Easier said than done, she replied irately.

"Now I need to go tell Rarity the three of you are fine and making a fireworks display," Joseph said candidly.

"I'll see you in town later when we're done here!" Scootaloo said as Joseph turned to walk back to town.

Halfway there, he could see a couple spotlights waving their radiant beams from what he could only assume to be the main stage. The hustle and bustle had picked up a lot during the trip to the farm, but if Earth was anything to go by, people had a tendency to show up closer to the time to events which would result in the huge influx. He had a hard time and a half making his way to the stage over the cacophony of noise the crowd was making, and the music Vinyl had begun playing to pass the time. When she finally caught sight of him, she locked eyes with Joseph and mouthed "go around the back," with the flick of her head to the curtain.

"Alright everypony," she hollered into the microphone. "My special guest has arrived, so if you’ll excuse me momentarily while I go see to her, we'll be right out!"

Joseph quickly went up the stairs to backstage as Vinyl put on some music to mollify the agitated crowd. Not two seconds later, she came through the curtain. "Where've you been?" she asked impatiently.

"Had to take care of something. I'm here now."

"Great, just put your disguise on and then we can do a repeat performance from the club."

"Repeat? Why not something new?"

"You try writing new songs each time you hold a show!"

"Ok, ok,” Joseph acquiesced. “You do your thing and I'll do mine."

Joseph watched as Vinyl took a much needed calming breath and stepped towards the curtain. "Just be ready for their reactions." She smirked. “After all, it’s not everyday somepony like Nightmare Moon is seen DJ-ing,” she said flippantly, making her way back through the curtain and to the microphone.

"Alright everypony," Vinyl began as Joseph took off the disguise, "for tonight only, I give you the Mare in the Moon herself, Nightmare Moon!"

As Joseph walked through the curtain, Nightmare Moon said; If you want to stay true to my likeness, do and say what I tell you to make it as authentic as possible.

Much like the club in Canterlot, Joseph was greeted with a mixture of shocked gasps, worried murmurs, and general unease in the crowd as everyone whispered to each other. He noticed Vinyl awkwardly rub the back of her neck, not exactly getting the uproarious greeting she had hoped for.

Suddenly, Pinkie Pie jumped up from the back of the crowd and screamed; "It's Nightmare Moon! She's gonna eat us all!"

The hush-hush murmurs of the crowd became louder, more panicked screams as the ponies began backing away from Joseph and the stage as the whole crowd began to reel in alarm at Pinkie's statement.

"Quiet!" Joseph bellowed at Nightmare Moon's suggestion, the crowd doing so out of fear, awkwardly shuffling around as they tried to locate their loved ones. "Pinkie, you're a giant cock. I have no interest in eating you, or any of you for that matter,” he indicated with a wave of a foreleg over the crowd. “And besides," he continued, "if it really was Nightmare Moon, don't you think she would have tried doing something stupid by now?"

Joseph saw that the crowd was taken aback by what he said, looking to each other with confusion, almost like they expected Nightmare Moon to pull a fast one over them.

"No, I am someone Vinyl hired in Canterlot to DJ for her at a club, and asked me here tonight." It wasn't really the truth. Joseph was praying on the notion that Vinyl had hired someone to DJ originally, deceiving her into thinking it was the same person, and thus reinforcing to Vinyl and the crowd that it was just a costume. Vinyl seemed to relax a bit, as did the crowd. Speaking of the pony Vinyl originally hired, if she didn't arrive for whatever reason, what did ever happen to her? Lucky for Joseph, Vinyl wasn't attentive enough to realise that.

Joseph watched as Pinkie took her sweet time processing the information. "Oh, it's you! Hi Josie!"

He scowled at being called Josie, having already told Pinkie off for that. He turned his attention to Vinyl, nodding to tell her to ready the music and turned to address the crowd.

'Can you amplify my voice like a microphone?' Joseph asked Nightmare.

An easy spell. I'll cast it through you like the teleport, then just tell me when to turn it off, as it were.

"We've selected some appropriate music to kick this night off," Joseph said, his voice carrying over the crowd magnificently, as if Nightmare Moon herself were addressing her subjects in a slightly condescending manner. "Miss Scratch, if you could..."

She put on a display by flipping a few records out from underneath the turntable and slamming them onto the table. With Joseph grinning widely, Vinyl brought up her forehoof, on which was a button attached to a bracelet with an antenna.

As the first beat dropped, the entire stage gave a hiss as dry ice smoke began to pour and waft out from the gaps in Vinyl's setup. As the tempo picked up, so did the transformation of the soundstage, gears and mechanisms whirring in time with the music. The platform on which Joseph and Vinyl stood raised up from the floor on two pistons, connected to two panels magically weighted to the floor. Once raised fully, it descended on an angle to hang over the crowd, the serendipity clearly showing on all faces.

Minus the two speakers at either end of the main stage, the ends of the sound stage tilted down on an axis as two speakers began radiating hues of colourful, harmless beams of energy as they drifted over and dissipated when they hit the crowd.

“Alright everypony,” Vinyl shouted into the microphone over the music, let’s get this party started! she finished in tandem with Joseph, their voices carried above the music as the crown finally got into the spirit of the festivities, instead of letting the shock of the uncannily eerie look-alike of Nightmare Moon get to them.

For the good part of two hours, everyone began to enjoy the music and the festivities.

Towards the end of the performance, the full weight of the night’s atmosphere began to set in on the entire town. Fatigue in Joseph and Vinyl’s muscles finally made itself present. After the current song ended, Joseph waved his hoof over his neck, telling Vinyl to stop for a while. She pulled up the needles from the records and turned the volume down on everything.

“Alright everypony, now that all of you have had your fill of entertainment, Nightmare Moon and I are going to take an opportunity to check out what you guys have got going on tonight!” The crowd cheered in unanimous approval. “We’ll start back up a little bit after the magic show further down the track, so make sure you’re all back before then!” With the volume turned down, there was no residual feedback from the speakers as Vinyl cut the connection to the speakers and microphone with the flip of a few switches. She thumped the button mounted on her foreleg, and the soundstage returned to its original state before wheeling itself back behind the curtain to make room for Trixie’s performance.

The crowd began to dissipate as Joseph and Vinyl made their way behind the curtain.

“Wicked performance yet again!” Vinyl beamed as she and Joseph hoof-bumped.

"You know it!"

"I’m gonna go have some fun for a while, so I’ll see you back here in an hour for the magic show. After that finishes, we get to go on again!”

“We’ll see what happens,” Joseph said, discreetly indicating that he might change his mind.

Vinyl bade him farewell to go and enjoy the next couple hours on her own. With nobody else around that he could see, Joseph slipped the disguise back on. He went down the stairs and around the side, hoping nobody saw him put on the ring. He glanced both ways to confirm this and merged with the crowd on the street.

He made a brief stop at the Apples’ stand to pick up a toffee apple; having done his share of traveling before, he knew that walking along the streets with a snack or drink in hand helped tourists to blend in better with the locals.

He saw Pinkie zipping back and forth across the streets. She was taking the likeness of her costume too far by pecking at random places along the road. She was a strange one, that’s for sure, and Joseph found himself watching to see how long she’d carry on with the charade. He continued to follow Pinkie down one of the back alley streets. He had a time and a half keeping up with her; by the time he had entered the alley, she was already on the other side! And when he got to the exit of the street, he saw her hopping off into another alley!

How is she so fast? Joseph wondered as he followed the pink pony. It was peculiar to say the least, but then again so was he.

Finally arriving at the end of that alley, Joseph saw Pinkie on the opposite end of the street, walking into Sugarcube Corner. Something about this seemed off to Joseph; what could Pinkie want in a bakery that couldn’t possibly be for sale in the festival? He decided to wait outside to ask her, but by the time Joseph finished his apple Pinkie still hadn’t come out of the building.

As he debated saying “eh, fuck it” and going back to the festival, a weird slurping noise caught his attention. Rounding the corner, he saw the shadowy lump of one pony sitting on its haunches above another. The second pony was laying on their side, gasping with shallow, spasmodic breaths.

Joseph pressed himself against the wall and cautiously snuck up behind the two ponies, his eyes slowly adjusting to the darkness. The assailant was levitating something resembling an erlenmeyer flask and deposited something liquid into it. This close to the figure, Joseph was able to make out a blackened, sectioned carapace glinting with streaks of moonlight.

A gasp from the injured pony drew Joseph’s attention away from the Changeling. He must have spotted Joseph approaching, because he was flailing his hooves in a vain attempt to call for help. The Changeling quickly took note of its unwanted visitor and hissed angrily, a thin, viscous liquid smearing both of its hooves.

Panicking, Joseph backpedaled away from the insectoid creature, but the Changeling didn’t leap at him or attack. Instead, it hastily grabbed the strange bottle, swapped its disguise for a black pegasus, and immediately took to the sky. Soon it had disappeared into the night without a trace.

It took a moment for Joseph’s nerves to calm down, but once they did, he instantly looked back to the stallion. He had several puncture wounds in his neck, and a thick, heavy gauge syringe lay off to the side, still half full. Beside him were the tattered remains of an oddly familiar hat and vest. The stallion’s eyes were wide with shock, his neck coated in rivulets of crimson as the wounds continued to bled.

“H-hel-he,” he gurgled pitifully. Hearing his voice finally jogged Joseph’s memory; this was the same stallion who’d found him passed out in an alleyway his first week in Equestria.

Joseph quickly ran to the opposite end of the alley to grab the help of anyone walking by. “HEL—” he began to shout, but was abruptly cut off by a massive thunderclap and a lightning bolt obscuring his vision. The sudden shock to him, only made worse by his already pounding heart, made him nearly leap out of his skin.

Craning his head skyward, he saw a pegasus bursting into a fit of laugher and rolling around a thundercloud.

“You should have seen your face!” the familiar voice of Rainbow Dash guffawed.

Between abstract confusion, bewilderment, and shock, Joseph’s eyes narrowed like poisoned daggers at Rainbow.

“What the hell!?” he shouted.

“Calm down dude, it’s only a prank!”

“Fuck off and get Twilight, someone’s dying back in there!” he screamed, pointing down the alley.

That seemed to get Rainbow’s attention. “What!?”

Joseph was seething mad at this point. “Go and get her before I kick you so hard you’ll get there faster than flying!”

Ditching her cloud, Rainbow disappeared in the blink of an eye. Joseph magically grabbed a “Happy Nightmare Night!” banner hanging over one of the doors and ran back to the end of the alley to staunch the stallion’s bleeding neck.

“C’mon, stay with me!” Joseph encouraged. He pressed the cloth over the five or so weeping holes, holding it there while trying not to crush the stallion’s windpipe.

Without his hat and vest, Joseph caught sight of something completely unexpected. A foul scar with stretches of skin bridging a nub of bone sat where his horn would be, and on his upper back, missing patches of fur gave way to what looked like concave areas of skin that had been cut and burned.

He balked, saying to Nightmare; ’Did you know about this?!’

Only through mythos. I thought he was just a story.

’Most people thought you were a story too, yet here you both are!’

Ten seconds went by before Twilight materialised at the end of the alley. “What happened? Rainbow to—” she gasped heavily at seeing the wounded stallion.

“Hospital, now!” Joseph bellowed. Twilight stood, wide-eyed at the sight before her. “What are you doing!? Quit gawking and—” Joseph was cut off as Twilight charged her magic and teleported the dying pony away, leaving him stunned as the weight of the last two minutes came crashing around him. Just what was that changeling thinking, and why was it using a syringe to… He shook that thought out of his head, trying to regain his composure and slow the heart hammering away within his chest.

Even so, he thought it might be safer to put the needle in his ‘pocket’ so nobody else has any… unfortunate accidents with it. It could also double as evidence if the need for it were to arise.

Thoughts of the stallion and why his horn and wings were removed plagued Joseph’s mind as he tried to calm himself, taking his time to walk up and down the streets on the long way back to Town Square. By the time he got back to the main stage, the initial shock had worn off, but worry and concern still littered his mind. He needed a drink to calm his nerves.

A solid portion of the vendors were within arms reach, so Joseph went to find someone that looked like they had something a bit on the strong side. He spied Big Macintosh with several barrels next to him, one of which was on a table with a tap protruding out the bottom. He watched as the massive red stallion took a wooden mug and filled it to the brim.

’Oohhh, is that cider?!’ he thought to himself. He took his place fourth in line behind three others. He watched as the stallion served each of them a drink. One of the patrons put three coins on the table, and Big Mac swept them into a sack hanging off the table’s edge. The next two put five bits on the table, and Big Mac wordlessly filled their mugs from a different barrel. Joseph, intrigued, wondered what the difference between paying three bits and five bits could be.

When Joseph got up to the stand, he put eight bits on the table. Big Mac raised a questioning eyebrow while Joseph stood, staring, seeing if he could figure it out. Mac wordlessly filled up a mug from the barrel off to his side, but the second he poured from a barrel in the middle of the stack behind him, then put both on the table.

Joseph levitated both mugs up, took a tentative sip from the first, and nodded with approval. The second mug, however, proved to be what Joseph was after. He let out a long, drawn out sigh of relief as the strength of the drink danced on his tongue. He swallowed with what could only be the look of someone stuck in a desert and only just found water. He raised the latter mug in a ‘thank you’ gesture to the red stallion, who nodded in kind, before Joseph turned his attention to the crowd until he spotted Twilight. Waving his hoof to her, she caught sight and cantered over to Joseph.

“Here, I got you a drink,” Joseph said as he thrust the almost untouched mug of cider to Twilight while downing his own. He figured a little selective disinformation wouldn’t hurt her, but he didn’t want to tell her what he was drinking.

Both to Joseph’s amusement and surprise, Twilight resigned to taking the mug and downing half of it, visibly relaxing considering recent events. “Thanks,” she said, wiping a fetlock over her mouth to clear any lingering cider.

“So,” Joseph began, looking down to Twilight, “mind telling me what the deal is with that other fella?”

She took another swig of her drink. “Huh? Oh, uhm, the doctors said they needed to run some tests first. Other than severe blood loss, with some transfusions he should recover.”

Joseph’s brow furrowed in anger. To avoid making a scene, he gently, yet firmly, lead the purple mare to the opening of an alley. “Twilight, I’ve been in this weird-ass place for over a month, and at every turn people have been jerking me around. Nightmare Moon, Chrysalis, Celestia… I’ve got zero fucking idea what the hell is going on half the time, and now this shit?” He magicked the still half-full syringe and waved it in front of Twilight’s face.

“Perhaps I should have elaborated,” he continued. “What. The fuck. Happened? His wings and horn were cut off, and by the looks of it were cauterised afterwards. And most importantly, why the hell would anyone want—of all people—his blood?”

“Whatever happened to him, happened hundreds of years ago!” she defended. “I wouldn’t even know where to begin to research!”

“Woah woah woah, he’s how old!?” Joseph balked. He could see the ‘uh oh’ look on Twilight’s face as she only just realised her faux-pas.

“Look,” she acquiesced, “I’m not going to deny you what you just saw. All I can tell you is it happened a long time ago. We need to wait until the doctors are finished treating him so we can ask him questions. Alright?” Twilight sighed with exhaustion.

She did make a point, so, despite his elevated anger, Joseph decided to give her the benefit of the doubt for the time being. Not really the ideal situation, but something like that isn’t likely to be forgotten, so it’s easy enough to bring it up later on in the night or tomorrow morning.