Subject Zero

by Crackshot

Rating: mature
Tags: Spike, Comedy, Adventure, Crossover, Human, Twilight Sparkle, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Other, Romance
Length: 2608

Jack dies aboard the Normandy..... Or does she?

They hit the Omega 4 relay.They were heading towards the Collector's home, to hit 'em where it hurts and get thier people back.

But Jack wouldn't live long enough to celebrate their victory. She wouldn't live long enough to take part in humanities only revenge.

Subject Zero died aboard the Normandy. Sheppard put her body in a casket...... But it didn't stay there very long.

Nor did it stay dead.

Alright guys, I know I have a lot of other projects to work on, but this just wouldn't leave me alone. I haven't seen many Mass Effect HiE crossovers, so I decided to make one. I haven't played ME3 yet, so this one's based on ME2, with how I imagine paragon Sheppard romance would react to her death on the Normandy. Rated mature but not tagged gore or sex cause I have no idea which way I'm taking it(I don't generally put gore and sex in the same fic, but there's a first time for everything). Anyway, hope you like it, constructive criticism is always appreciated.

Published 2012-04-15 16:04:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-07-09 00:33:06 UTC

Casualties of war

The Normandy came out of the Omega 4 relay to find a wall of debris. “Oh shit!” Joker exclaimed, taking evasive maneuvers as he tried to pull it above the mass of ancient ships that hadn’t survived the voyage. As he finally mad it through and began to level the ship out he sat back with a sigh. “Too close.”

The ship glided effortlessly through the empty space, everyone on the bridge looking out at all the wreckage, some looking for the Collector base, the others simply amazed by the sheer amount of carnage before them.

Jack, however, ignored it all, doing her best to work some of the controls that were open to take some of the load off of EDI. She didn’t pay much attention to what was going on around her, as she was unfamiliar with the controls she was working, but heard EDI mention they had company. She laughed.

Well, this just got exciting. She thought to herself as Joker tried to pull more fancy flying, and EDI fired the guns. She heard the beam fire, but didn’t have enough time to move before it breached the hull, hitting the console next to her and causing it to explode. She went about a foot, landing on her face. Her vision began to fade, but she could still hear the voices around her.

“Jack?”

“EKG had flat-lined. She is dead.”

“She can’t be dead, get to medical!” she could hear Sheppard’s voice, but it seemed distant. If she could breathe she would have laughed. He was always worried about her.

She only had one last thought before the sweet, dark void of death took her.

If there’s a heaven, I think I’ve earned it on this mission.
*****************************************

Twilight sat at home, preparing for a summoning spell. She had tried these many times before, with mixed results. “Alright, successfully summoned an apple, but the distance between here and Sweet Apple Acres isn’t enough for that to count… I got a bird once, but it didn’t seem like a species that lives around here, so I’ll count that one….” she muttered to herself, going over her checklist. She was confident that she could get something bigger now. Maybe too confident. She put her list down, checking over the runes one more time.

“Twilight, you’ve been preparing for over an hour, get on with it already!” Spike exclaimed, his boredom evident.

“And just why are you so eager to get this done?” Twilight asked with a giggle.

“I wanna see an alien, duh!”

“I said I was trying to summon sentient life, that doesn’t necessarily mean I’ll get an alien.” Twilight said with a laugh. Sometimes her assistant was funniest when he was being serious. “I could get a gryphon for all we know.”

“Whatever, just hurry up, I’m dieing of boredom here.” he said, rolling his eyes. Twilight sighed and did the same before approaching the runes. Her horn lit up brightly, causing Spike to shield his eyes.

“This is gonna be awesome.”
*************************
Sheppard took great care in placing Jack’s corpse in a casket. He didn’t know if he’d live long enough to do it later. The Normandy had crash landed on the Collector’s base, and the rest of the team was preparing for what laid ahead. He sighed as he placed on of her hands on top of the other, both laying on her chest.

And that’s when he noticed it. At first he thought it was glare on his visor, but after a moment he realized it wasn’t.

She was disappearing. Starting from her finger tips, it wasn’t long before bother her hands were gone. “Mordin! For the love of god, tell me you can explain this!” he yelled over his shoulder. The salarian scientist rushed over, but when he got there he was silent.

“Dematerialization? No, no particles, no signs of burning, no radiation…” he said, talking as fast as he usually did. He quickly ran his Omni-Tool over her body. “Nothing, unexplainable, impossible, everything can be explained with science”

“Damn it Mordin, just tell me what the hell’s going on!” Sheppard yelled as Jack’s shoulders faded from existence. Mordin was silent for a moment, opening and closing his mouth multiple times, seeming to be trying to find the right words.

“I don’t know, Sheppard, signs inconsistent with any form of after-death disintegration I know of, rate is sporadic, uneven, no signs of abnormal heat, radiation levels relatively low, no signs of disease or cloaking devices, not enough data!” the scientist yelled, walking away in a fit. Sheppard looked back to the body of the woman he’d tried so hard to save. Her chest was completely gone, but her face remained. He couldn’t stand to see her go the way she was. He brushed her face slightly before placing one last kiss on her lips.

“Goodbye Jack.” he whispered as he closed the lid of the casket and walked away.
***********************************
Twilight strained, her power flickering at times, her eyes closed shut tightly. Spike, however, looked on in amazement. When he could see past the bright light, he saw….. He didn’t know what he saw, but it was materializing slowly in the middle of the summoning circle.

Eventually, with one final, blinding flash, it was done. Spike reeled back slightly, and his vision was impaired, to say the least. Twilight sat back, panting and sweating heavily. She opened her eyes, and nearly went into shock at what she saw.

The creature was tall, and had pale skin covered with some kind of markings. She saw no hair to speak of, but it had straps of some kind covering it’s chest, and was wearing what she thought were called ‘pants’. It was motionless. No breathing. Nothing. It had appendages similar to Spike’s claws at the end of each arm. Twilight sighed heavily, still trying to catch her breath.

“Great. I get something that might have been sentient life, but it’s already dead!”
****************************
Jack had drifted through the void for some time, unable to speak, unable to move, unable to think clearly.

Then she saw a light. It was dim at first, but it grew brighter and brighter. Her senses slowly came back to her, the first being smell. She could smell sweat. She could smell fear.

Next came hearing. She could hear heavy panting, and heard someone yell something she couldn’t quite make out. It seemed distant. She could hear her own heartbeat, which confused her, but she wasn’t about to argue.

Then, in a sudden moment, her ability to speak came back, and the last thing she’d tried to say came rushing out of her mouth as she felt her heart beating roughly in her chest.

“Don’t let me die here, damn it Sheppard!”

Prepare yourself...

A/N: Chapter two. I haven't forgotten about you guys yet, don't worry. Sorry for not updating this a lot, but I hope you guys enjoy it! On a side note...... I have no idea what made me do what I did here.....

Twilight reeled at the sudden outburst, jumping slightly into the air before gravity brought her back down. The creature before her Was panting heavily, and she could see beads of sweat rolling down it’s exposed skin. She looked over to Spike, hoping for advice, but the baby dragon simply stood there wide eyed and slack jawed. When she looked back, she saw the creatures hazel colored eyes staring back at her. She could see a combination of confusion and anger in it’s face and eyes, and suddenly felt very threatened.
*******************************
Jack was still panting heavily when here eyes locked onto the purple…. Thing that was sitting next to her. She looked at it for what seemed like an eternity, confused and angry. What the fuck is that? she thought to herself, taking in it’s features, namely the horn on it’s head. It wasn‘t sharp, but it still looked like it could do some damage with enough force. That thing could be dangerous. Wonder why it’s on the damn things head. she thought before standing up and looking for a door.

“Um…. I’m sorry for any inconvenience, but umm…. Just what are you?” the sudden voice made her jump and ready her biotics, her body glowing a slight blue and her heart racing from the sudden excitement.

“Who said that, huh!?” she yelled, looking around, skipping over the two creatures in the room. She brushed them off as dumb beasts who couldn’t speak a word, looking for something seeming more sentient. “Show yourself, or I’ll fucking tear you apart!” she yelled again as she used her abilities to lift a nearby chair and break it against the wall with great force.

She wasn’t fucking around. She saw a tiny purple and green lizard slowly approach her and laughed slightly at it. “Where the hell am I, a little girls dream land? I mean, come on; a tiny horse with a dildo on it‘s head, and a tiny little purple iguana.” she crouched down to the lizards level. “Let me guess, you breathe fucking fire, don’t you?”

Spike was hesitant at first, scared out of his wits of the being before him, who’s temper seemed to be far our of control. “A-a-a-actually, I-I-I-I can.” He said, and Jack reeled back in surprise.

“Well color me impressed.” She said, regaining her composure. “A fire breathing oversized gecko who can talk. Just fucking wonderful.” she said, not really caring for his feelings, or anyone’s feelings for that matter.

“H-hey! D-d-don’t you talk to Spike like that!” Twilight exclaimed, finally gathering enough courage to speak. However, the look her statement earned her made her shrink away in fear.

“Well, well, well, so sparky has a name, huh? What about you, dildo head? What’s your name?” Jack asked, almost sounding calm, like she actually cared, as she slowly approached the cowering unicorn.

“T-t-twilight…. Twilight Sparkle.” she stuttered, causing Jack to look away for a moment and nod.

“Alright, alright, sounding more and more like a little girls dream every second…” she muttered before turning her attention back to Twilight. “And just what makes you think you can tell me what the FUCK to do!?” she yelled, making the unicorn flinch and shake uncontrollably. “Well?” she asked after a moment of silence. “Are you gonna answer my fucking question, or am I just gonna have to just make sure you don’t do it again?”

Twilight had no idea what to do, so she did the first thing that came to mind. “L-l-look, I-I-I-I’m sorry”

“Sorry?” the biotic asked, cutting off the frightened unicorn. “That’s it? Seriously? God damn, I just had to wind up in a world full of pussies, didn’t I?” she muttered, putting a hand to her forehead in disappointment. She sighed heavily and took a moment to think, something she’d learned from Shepard. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but…” she paused for a moment, attempting to force the words from her lips. “It’s…. fine…..” she said through gritted teeth, sighing again. Damn you Shepard. You just had to rub off on me like that, didn’t you? she thought to herself before shaking her head and continuing. “I…. I should be the one apologizing, I mean it’s not everyday you wake up in a strange place with talking animals with dildo’s on their heads.” she said, though everything inside her was screaming for blood.

She couldn’t believe herself. What’s gonna happen next? Am I gonna go teach at a school for biotic kids? she thought, before laughing out loud. Twilight was confused, but took the strange being before her at it’s word.

“It’s…. It’s alright, I understand how you could be confused, or worried.” Twilight said, hoping to calm the obviously dangerous creature. She looked around to see Spike, out cold on the floor. “Of course, there’s still the matter of you’re temper and it’s effects, but we’ll get to that later, okay?” she asked with a nervous smile.

“‘My temper and it’s effects’?” Jack asked, taking a look around at the unconscious dragon and broken chair with little concern. She shrugged. “If I’d actually gone full out, this…. Whatever it is, would be a crater, make no mistake.” Twilight, still startled from Jack’s previous display of violence, went pale under her fur, and began to wonder just what she had brought into her home.

“O-O-O-O-oh, I-I-I see, um, uh, do you n-need anything to eat, o-or drink, uh……” she trailed off at the end, hoping for an introduction of some kind.

“Jack.” she said, filling the gap of silence left after the lavender mare stopped talking. “Name’s Jack.” she said before considering the offer. It wasn’t everyday someone offered her food or drink, especially not after she wrecked their place, but she wasn’t one to turn down anything free. “Yeah, sure, I could go for some grub, what’ve you got?”

“Well, I have some hay fries, I could make you a daisy sandwich, or” she was cut off by a fit of laughter that rivaled Pinkie Pie after hearing a corny joke.

She gulped as she waited for Jack to calm down.

“Are you fucking joking? Hay Fries? A daisy sandwich? What next, a fucking glass of milk with some fucking wheat cookies?” Twilight mentally checked that combination off the list, while wondering why this creature used so much vulgar language. “Get me some beef, a bottle of booze, I don’t care what as long as it’s strong, and a cigar, and maybe, just maybe, I’ll take you seriously.” she said, not expecting to get any of them. Twilight was visibly shaking now, eyes wide in surprise and fear.

“Y-y-you’re a c-c-carnivore?” she asked. Jack sighed, racking her brain for what the word meant. She remembered Mordin Solus trying to give her science lessons on more than one occasion, and knew the word had come up at least once.

“Carnivore, carnivore, carnivore…… Isn’t that something that only eats meat?” she asked no one in particular as she stared at the floor, one finger tapping on her bald forehead.

“Y-y-yes, it is.” Twilight said, hoping her helpfulness would convince the creature to spare her life.

“In that case, you’re fucking retarded.” Jack said as she lowered her hand.

“Hey!” Twilight exclaimed, suddenly indignant. She could be pushed around, scared into silence, and watch her assistant and friend be scared into unconsciousness, but NO ONE questioned her intelligence.

“Hey, not my fault you don’t know jack shit ‘bout humans.” she said with a casual shrug.

“Humans?” Twilight asked, confused by the statement. “Humans aren’t supposed to exist.”

“And neither are horses with dildos on their face, yet I’m talking to you.” Jack countered, making Twilight’s temper flare again.

“Alright, it’s not a dildo, it’s a horn! It’s used to cast magic, not bring another mare to climax!!” she yelled at the top of her lungs.

At that exact moment, Rainbow Dash proceeded to crash halfway through one of the windows. “Did I hear something…. About… Dildos…….” she trailed off near the end, seeing Twilight’s strange visitor. Twilight couldn’t help face hoofing.

“Every time… Every single time someone mentions a dildo, you just have to be there, don’t you Rainbow?”

Jack couldn’t take it anymore, and burst into a fit of laughter. “Oh my god, oh shit, this is to funny. We’ve got dildo head, Sparky the dragon, and gay pride dildo lover, this is just to much.” Twilight sighed again and shook her head, her hoof still covering her face.

“Hey! I’m not a lesbo!”

It was gonna be a long day.