The Conversion Bureau: I Am Immune

by SouthernCross

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Princess Celestia, Alternate Universe, Human, Twilight Sparkle, Lyra, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other
Length: 6314

He thought he was going to become a pony. He didn't.

With the Barrier slowly consuming the Earth, and nowhere else to go, the population of the world has little choice other then to go pony, or die.

All but one who finds himself unable to go pony. Instead the potion renders him immune to the Barrier and magics toxic qualities, as well as giving him the ability to use magic that isn't toxic to regular humans. Exposure to more potion won't force a transformation either, only increase his magical prowess...

He stands alone. The only human who will survive the Collision of the two worlds...

...Then again, screw destiny.

Published 2014-08-14 03:50:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-09-03 14:44:33 UTC

From Humble Beginnings...

A young man gazed at his hands as he contemplated all that had taken place to lead him to where he sat at that time. The shuffling of a doctor as she double checked all the measurements and took notes for the treatment he was about to receive provided a subtle ambiance, as the hooves of a pony clopped on the sterile tiled floor as the creature assisted the doctor, the man's thoughts drifted.

His life had started off so simple. There was nothing outstanding about his family, two parents who occasionally bickered and an older brother, with whom he had bonded and bickered as they grew up together with a decade separating them. His mother was a bookkeeper, a good one too, who took care of the family finances and taxes while his father was a humble mechanic, working first with cars but slowly working his way down to forklifts as his age started getting the better of him. Even his brother never did anything more spectacular then being a warehouse manager for a company specialising in screws.

He was the only one who sought to turn a talent into an ambitious career, as soon as he had finished high school he had put his name down for an animation and media course. The course had been cancelled due to the events that happened soon after.

The young man could still remember the taste of take-away crispy chicken wings he had been eating while watching internet videos, when his Facebook had gone ballistic with posts about the massive quakes and tsunamis that resulted from Equestria's emergence. Western Europe and Eastern America had been devastated by the initial waves and resulting flooding.

Then they had all learned of the Barrier. That massive wall of energy that was slowly spreading out from the pony continent and consuming everything in it's wake.

As little more then a teenager who could only gather information through the internet he had only been able to piece together tiny snippets of information about what was happening. After discarding all the contradicting statements and trace what he could find back to the source material, and discarding anything of questionable origin, he had been able to confirm only a few things.

Firstly, Equestria's appearance was as much a surprise to the average pony as it was to mankind. Even their government was caught off guard by what happened but react fast to deal with the fallout.

Secondly, the consensus was that the Barrier was created by Celestia, the highest ranked leader in Equestria, in an effort to protect the pony nation from outside threats. She had apparently planned to drop the Barrier as soon as she learned that humanity meant them no harm but had maintained it once learning humans where violently allergic to 'magic' native to Equestria.

The last major detail he learned was how the Barrier was growing because of 'magics' nature for reaching out and expanding into anywhere it doesn't already exist. It was holding back the toxic-to-humans magic but apparently even Celestia wasn't able to halt the growth completely.

He had no way of telling how much was true but his sources had at least some kind of proof that the information they were spreading was from the proverbial horse’s mouth. However just getting that information had been an adventure that had lasted almost a year and a half.

Though he did find it amusing that everyone seemed to be reacting differently. The most predictable groups where the Religious Fundamentalists who were declaring it the End Times, but then they always said that about every major event… New US President? End Times! Natural Disaster? End Times! Terrorist Bombing? End Times! Toast lands butter side up? End Times!

Then there was the Pick Up Artists. Predictably they had immediately broken out into speculation on how to best woo a mare, especially one of the Princesses, and arguing over who was Alpha Male enough among them to pull it off. Unfortunately for them they attracted the notice of one Lyra Heartstrings, who, in a string of increasingly hilarious threads, managed to terrify the entire community with her hands fetish. There was also quite a few ponies that accused the PUAs of misogyny, but they were overshadowed by Lyra’s antic.

Feminists had also had a predictable reaction; immediately heralding the coming of the ponies as the nail in the coffin for the Patriarchy. Hilariously the ponies decided to research feminism and subsequently called them out on their violent rhetoric and misandry. Feminists then, predictably, played the victim card and tried to write off the misandry as activism for equality. Naturally the ponies weren’t convinced.

Hilariously it was the Men’s Rights Activists that seemed to not really give a shit. Sure, their boards got a large number of threads speculating on what fate awaited humanity, but for the most part the Collision didn’t even register on the MRM radar since it had nothing to do with their goals. Even more surprising were the reports from Equestria saying the MRM had sprouted up over there… with a primarily female membership. Of course they called it the Stallion’s Rights Movement.

Ironically the SRM was closer to what both Feminism and the MRM had always advertised themselves as then either actually managed to be...

So here he sat stark naked on a utilitarian hospital bed with a mattress that was barely thick enough that was covered by plastic sheets that made so much noise every time he shifted his weight he doubted he could sleep on it. The pony in the room had even joked about his appearance, stating he was hairy enough that the transformation should be shorter then normal.

Small comfort since the young man felt he was practically committing suicide in order to take a form that could survive Earth's consumption.

“James?” the doctor called him politely. His blue eyes turned to her and he noticed she was holding out a glass of faintly glowing liquid, “The potion is ready when you are.” She said kindly.

His breaths came quicker and his chest heaved while his heart began to race. Zero Hour was upon him, the end of his life as a human, a Homo Sapien, was about to end and his new life as a pony was about to begin. The realisation of the finality of that reality hit him only in that moment and he found himself unable to do anything other then stare at the glowing potion while his knuckles turned white from gripping the sheets so hard.

After a few moments the was snapped back to reality by a hoof touching his knee, “Don't worry James, when it's over you and your family can migrate to Equestria.” The pony said soothingly, “You could find a nice new town to settle in, forge your own place in Equestria with your own hooves... maybe find a nice mare and have lots of foals...” She giggled and winked at him, “Considering how your brother turned out I know you are going to make one handsome stallion!”

James smiled faintly at the pony and nodded, “Th... Thanks, Lily Bloom.” Taking a few deep breaths he reached out and took the potion in both hands before raising the glass and commenting, “Here is to a new life.” He then brought the glass to his lips and skulled the contents in one go.

“You know...” the doctor sighed, “You could have sipped it slowly...”

The young man groaned internally for not realising that before he was hit by a blinding pain and a scream bellowed from his throat.

Sandy Valet was not a happy woman.

Normally, even given the current state of the world, she was actually really happy and up beat. However today her editor decided she was to do an interview she had been hoping would be assigned to someone, anyone, else for the last week.

So here she was with her camera team rolling up to the entrance of the local Conversion Bureau to interview some of the staff for a segment on the local current affairs show. There where no doubts in her mind that it would just be chopped up into a propaganda piece to get more people to go pony.

She didn't much care about that part, it was her name being on anything pro-pony that upset her. Not that she had any real control once the footage was handed over to the post-team, all she could do was try and phrase her questions in such a way that those she interviewed revealed uncomfortable truths about the Bureaus and that she did so without outright baiting them.

The old, 'Give a liar enough rope' approach.

They passed the checkpoint just outside the Bureau without incident, the security team had known they where coming a month in advance, so they simply pulled up in one of the parking bays near the entrance and started unloading their gear. While the muscle did their job Sandy prepared to do hers, reviewing the questions she was required to ask and preparing a few of her own and committing them to memory.

That all got thrown in the trash heap when the Bureau decided it was a brilliant time to explode.

“YES!!” Sandy cheered in elation, she had been wanting something exciting to report on since she had that weird dream about teenagers using biblical figures to turn into Sentai Heroes.1

With all the speed of a professional camera crew it didn't take long for Sandy to be transmitting a live broadcast back to her station, which in turn was streamed to TV sets, mobile devices and their website in real time. What everyone watching saw first was Sandy's overly excited face, marred slightly from dirt from the explosion, in front of a burning Conversion Bureau.

“This is Sandy Valet reporting to you live from Conversion Bureau NA67 with California News Network. As you can see the Bureau has been destroyed in some kind of explosion. Keep in mind we are the first on the scene so no information is known about who is responsible for...” Sandy stopped herself when one of the camera crew looked past her and started gawking and raised his hand to point at something. Raising an eyebrow Sandy stepped out of the camera's focus and had a look at what was so enthralling.

“Whoa...” was all she could say.

Standing in the ruined entrance was a dazed looking young man, his eyes glowing yellow and potion swirling all around his naked body. As the stunned reporter and film crew, and countless others around the world, watched half the potion be absorbed into his skin while the other half transmuted into a white t-shirt, baggy black pants, sneakers and an unzipped red jacket.

As the glow faded from his eyes the crew caught a glimpse of their natural blue colour before they closed and the young man fell to the ground unconscious.

Author's Note

1 All my stories are connected in some way. Even if the connection is just a dream...

To clarify a few things; First I don't know jack about American cities or news networks, second I don't care.

Sparks are Lit

Gunther Angern was a patient man, as the old saying goes 'Good things come to those who wait.'

His body may be approaching the half century mark and his hair losing it's colour but he was still fit, decades of military service having ingrained a training and dietary regime that kept him strong, lean and ready. It was this background that saw him get scouted by the HLF and put in charge of an entire cell.

That, and his mind was as sharp as ever. Even as he boiled with hatred for the pony scum tainting his world his tactical mind contemplated, planned and analysed every new event from every possible angle. Where other cells would strike whenever and wherever they could with wanton abandon, Gunther kept his head on his shoulders and his soldier alive, and human, to fight another day by picking his targets carefully.

The only reason he hadn't bombed Bureau NA67 yet was because he wasn't satisfied with the gathered intelligence, he simply didn't know enough to launch an attack that would kill as many pony-scum and hoofkissers without getting most of his unit killed in the process.

So the man known as Overlord found himself watching a recording from a local news team showing that very Bureau in ruins. The kicker being the one the attack was being blamed on was a hoofkisser who had apparently used magic. While still human.

But Gunther wasn't angry about this boy managing to achieve in minutes what he had planned for months. He wasn't even upset about the fact no one had apparently been killed, leaving the public consensus to see the whole thing as one big accident. His temper didn't flair at all, instead his mind took what he knew apart piece by piece and reached the most suitable course of action.

“Pat, go down to the techs and tell them to find out everything they can about this boy... and this Sandy Valet.” He ordered calmly as he steepled his gloved hands in front of his face, “Oh, and assemble a team to head out and... 'invite' them to join us once the techs have what we need.”

A silence filled the room as a question was left unsaid.

“Yes, you may lead them.”

A woman in her mid twenties and garbed in a nun's habit smiled serenely at her commanding officer, though the smile didn't reach her hardened eyes. There was a reason why Gunther was sending a team rather then a single agent, he never did anything without a reason.

He was predicting a battle, and if there was one thing that could be counted on it was that Gunther's predictions where never wrong.

Her smile grew, today was going to be a good day.

A unicorn mare paced back and forth in front of an emergency relief tent set up by the National Guard within minutes of Bureau NA67 exploding. If there was one thing to be said about the Collision it certainly sped up how quickly first response teams did their jobs.

The particular tent she was pacing in front of was a triage tent filled with Red Cross volunteers and military doctors. It also housed her youngest son who had yet to regain conciousness.

An Earth pony stallion trotted up to her and placed a fore hoof across her withers, giving her a reassuring rub, “If there is one thing for sure about our boy, he's a tough bastard.” The stallion remarked as his green eyes met the mare's blue.

“We're talking about a guy who bit through his lip because someone kicked him in the face from an odd angle... and didn't even feel it until two days later.” A unicorn stallion that was both taller and younger then the other two ponies added with a laugh, “I doubt this is going to slow him down for long.”

The mare sighed, “I know that.” She half glared at both stallions and added, “But I'm a Mum! It's my job to worry about my boys!”

Both stallions rolled their eyes and smiled.

None of the three had chosen pony names yet and still used their old human names. They where the Gwyn family and all three where waiting for word from the doctors about the youngest member of their family. The only one to not be a pony, James.

The Earth pony stallion glanced at the unicorn stallion and asked, “Why do you suppose James didn't turn into a pony when they gave him the potion, Paul?”

Paul thought for a moment then replied, “Probably something to do with magic, John.” He crossed his eyes and glared at the horn on his head, the only reason he agreed to go pony was because it was life or death and he wanted to call dibs on some prime real estate, “I may have this thing on my head but James was the one who read what the Ponies made available for us. I don't know squat on how that shit works.”

Their ability to swear was an anomaly that Native Equestrian ponies immediately remarked on after the explosion. It seemed that the magic in the explosion had effected all the Newfoals in the Bureau, although they all still accepted being ponies (they had all been there voluntarily) but whatever part of the transformation that suppressed their ability to swear had been 'switched off' allowing the potty mouths to flow freely.

All the nearby humans where in stitches, naturally. The sight of something so cute and cuddly swearing like a sailor was just hilarious. The Newfoals had also regained the part of themselves that understood that, add the pony part that made them want to make others laugh and you get a camp full of cute, cuddly ponies swearing every chance you get and a whole lot of humans with an oxygen shortage.

One Native pony had the bright idea to try a censorship spell. Naturally this only made it worse, because as all humans know; implied swearing is funnier then actual swearing.

The older stallion stroked the beard on his chin with his free hoof, placing his flank on the ground for support before looking at the mare again, “Lynne, you read some of those books with James didn't you?”

Lynne glanced at her husband and shook her head, “Yes, but I only stuck to general knowledge about ponies.” She explained, “James was the one who wanted to learn the details.” She glanced at her horn and chuckled, “He'll probably say my being a unicorn represents my family's royal ancestry or something.”

John grumbled under his breath, “Yeah well, you two may get the flashy you-beaut model but I got the ol' reliable one.” Lynne and Paul both smirked at that. Although John had become an Earth pony and got a strength boost from it, some of his human appearance had carried over, namely his pot belly and spindly chicken legs.

Paul was quite well built for a unicorn stallion, sure he wasn't as muscular as the Equestrian Royal Guard but he was definitely above average. Years of moving pallets full of screws had made him quite strong as a human and it had translated well to his pony body.

On the other hand Lynne, despite playing the matronly role, didn't look all that matronly. In fact she looked much more akin to an independent and strong mare who just happened to also be a middle aged mother. As a human she had been a book keeper, a damn good one, and had also managed the family's taxes along with her and John's finances. And that's without taking into account her years of ten pin bowling, finding out Equestria had bowling alleys had put an end to her last objection to going pony. Despite a bit of pudginess it was quite easy to see she was fit for her age and was likely to active well into her later years.

At that moment one of the human nurses poked her head out of the tent's entrance and looked at the three ponies before telling them, “He's awake now if you would like to see him?” She jumped back as she received her reply in the form of a unicorn mare charging through the door.

In an instant the mare found her way to her youngest son's bedside and held herself upright on the edge, “James! Are you alright?!”

The young man smiled at her warmly and pulled her into a hug without hesitation, “I'm fine Mum.” He said reassuringly as he held her tightly, “They're just trying to find out what happened is all.” He pulled away from his mother and looked her in the eye, “I'm more worried about you guys. Are you all ok?”

Lynne pressed her muzzle into her son's chest and nodded, “We're all fine.” She explained before slapping his shoulder with a hoof, “But don't you ever make me panic like that again young man! I was so worried you had gotten yourself killed!”

James winced from the pain caused by his mother's hard hoof, “Ow. Mum, careful with those... the explosion was more gentle then that...” He said with a smirk.

“You seem to be taking this all rather well.” He heard his father's voice say from near by, “Since out of us you where the most enthusiastic to go pony.” Paul nodded from wear he stood at their father's side.

James just shrugged before reaching out a hand to a glass of water that rested on the stand next to his bed. His blue eyes shifted to yellow as a green aura of light enshrouded the glass and it floated across the room into his hand. Taking a sip he said, “Well... I guess it hasn't sunk in yet...”

Then he paused and looked at the glass, then the stand, then his family and then said, “How the bloody hell did I do that?!”

Twilight Sparkle was not a happy mare. After the Collision, which had been entirely accidental as far as she was concerned, and the realisation that the magic of the Barrier had weaponized itself and was acting in accordance with it's own will, every other nation of Equus and several factions on Earth had set about vilifying Celestia.

It simply wasn't fair, Celestia was trying to help the humans. Yes, Celestia had made the Barrier initially but now that it was out of control she had done everything in her power to give the humans a way out. So what if she was preventing the other nations from helping as well? Humans admitted to being indecisive when all the choices where in their hands, giving them the choice of dozens of species to transform into would have paralysed the entire Conversion Bureau system placing billions of lives in peril.

Billions, the realisation that the human species was that large boggled the young Alicorn's mind. The total population of Sapient life on Equus was barely one billion. While the human world had between eight and nine billion.

She could understand the frustrations of the other nations, that was an awful lot of new ponies that would suddenly be part of Equestria. She admitted they where at least somewhat justified in that regard.

The problem was many of those nations where calling Celestia a tyrant and that she was intentionally commit genocide against an entire species. Celestia was many things, and even Twilight had to admit she made mistakes, but a tyrant who would willing murder an entire species? That wasn't something she could ever believe to be true.

It was the genocidal tyrant portrayal that the Anti-Pony human groups believed as well. Problem was they had access to human weapons and technology making them considerably more dangerous. Add the fact they felt like a cornered animal and you get one very volatile package. Several Bureaus had been destroyed by these groups leaving hundreds dead.

The Princess of Magic and Friendship had to admit the whole 'Save Humanity by Making them Ponies' plan was going pear shaped, and it was doing so very quickly. She wasn't even sure they could maintain Native Pony morale long enough to save all the humans...

Maybe a more radical approach was needed to-

She found herself dragged out of her musings by one of Celestia's Royal Guards galloping up to her and saluting briskly. The white coated stallion was sweating profusely, apparently having galloped quite some way, “My Princess! I bring a message most urgent!”

Twilight simply nodded, “Very well, speak.”

“Bureau NA67 was destroyed three hours ago.” He began as Twilight nodded, she knew that much already thanks to a pegasus messenger, “It has been confirmed to have been an accident, you Highness.” That was news to Twilight, at least the poor soldiers marathon hadn't been pointless, “And...” The soldier paused and Twilight blinked before he continued, “And there was one other thing...”

Violet eyes widened at the implications of what she was hearing.

Author's Note

Something I noticed as the favourites rolled in... most of them where from Canadians...

What is with me and Canadians? Most of my ex-girlfriends as well as my dear fiance and a few other friends are from Canada. It's like the entire country wants me to migrate or something... (except my fiance's folks who want to send the Mounties after me...)

Unusual Experiments

Nice Save was a professional. A Unicorn born in Canterlot who had trained at the finest medical school money could send him to, he had passed at the top of his class and earned his doctorate while others tried to get an easy ride by flaunting their wealth... or appearance.

He took pride in the fact he had started out actually knowing where the heart was in a pony's chest unlike most of his classmates.

That urge to excel beyond the pack had been the driving force of his career in Equestria. Where others returned home either joined existing clinics or hospitals, Nice Save chose to wander. Each town he visited had problems and medical challenges for him to over come but none had soothed his thirst for something that truly perplexed him.

After the Collision he had been one of the first to cross the Barrier to the Human lands. He had been the first to discover, isolate and create cures for the Earth diseases that where harmful to Equestrian ponies. He had devised a way of inoculating any further visitors before turning his attention to Equestrian diseases that could harm humans.

He had made short work of those as well and spread the vaccine to every medical institution around the world for open distribution.

Even so that lust for the ultimate challenge remained unfed.

But now he was staring at a young human male who was busy glancing from a copy of 'Basic Magic for Foals' to the rubber ball that was levitating a few centimetres off his hand. The human held a mechanical pencil in his free hand was jotting notes in the books margins.

As much as Nice Save admired human medical technology it was the more mundane things that he just couldn't get over. Ball-point pens and mechanical pencils being on top of his list of 'Best Human Technologies' by a wide margin.

Still, the conundrum sitting in front of him was of greater concern. The pony doctor's mind began by reviewing what it knew.

First; raw magic was toxic to humans, causing rapid necrosis of any flesh that was touched by Thaumatic Radiation. The effect was virulent and even a tiny amount of contact was dangerous enough to warrant a full limb amputation. Refined Magic, such as spells or potion, where harmless unless misused.

Secondly; Casting spells required that the caster have an internal supply of raw magic. Thus; humans can't have a magic reserve.

Finally; magic required a medium, such as a horn, to properly use it externally. Other species either use it internally, like Pegasi and Earth Ponies, or through another medium, like Zebras with their alchemy.

In short; what he was seeing was impossible according to all previous evidence. But such is the nature of science, when there is evidence that contradicts the established model, first double check the evidence, then if result remains the same then the established model must be revised.

Still, he needed more evidence before he could formulate a hypothesis on what exact was happening. He licked his lips and felt a thrill that hadn't coursed through his body since he was just barely a stallion alone with his first marefriend.

Finally fate had thrown the ultimate challenge at him.

Taking a ginger step forward he cleared his throat and said, “Good afternoon young man. I am Doctor Nice Save and I'm here to...” He chuckled nervously as the young man reacted to his voice by catching the ball and looking at him. In a fraction of a second. He continued, “I'm here to help us both better understand what you are going through and why it happened.”

“Nice to meet you Doctor.” The young man replied, “I'm James Gwyn.” He continued to look at the pony doctor for a moment before asking, “So what would be done with the information once you have it?”

“Well regardless of what is done with it the final destination of the information would be to be preserved in the Canterlot archive.” Nice Save commented, “As for between then and now? Who knows? We could even find a cure and turn you into a pony.”

Nice Save shrank under the piercing glare James cast his way. The young man growled, “Being human isn't a disease.” The ball in his hand started levitating again as he added, “Humans only go pony because it is either that or die.”

“My apologies.” The stallion replied as he took a step back, “I meant no disrespect. I simply couldn't think of a better term to use in it's place.”

The young man leaned back against the raised frame of his bed and sighed, “I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have snapped at you. It's just...” He looked at the ball hovering in front of him, suspended in a green light, “I kinda thought I would have hooves right now. Yet here I am getting my cake and eating it.”

“You wanted to stay human?”

“Yeah.” James nodded, “I can't think of a human alive, save those with some form of depression, who doesn't want to stay human.”

Nice Save considered the young man's words for a moment as he walked up to his side before responding, “Yes, that would make sense. I don't think many ponies would wish for the opposite either.” He hazarded a few steps forward and asked, “So, what are you working on there?”

James looked at the book he had scribbled books all over, “I'm an amateur scientist of sorts. I'm comparing how the book says levitation works for unicorns and what I'm experiencing.” He explained before sighing, “I don't bugger all about the ins and outs of magic so all I'm writing is impressions.” He let himself fall back against his bed and pillows before giving another sigh, “I guess, it's a way of making sure a part of me remains long after I'm gone and humanity has been forgotten...” He lifted the book and held it up slightly above his line of sight, “A few scribbles in a children's book marking forever the fact I existed.”

The pony doctor noticed a tear running down the young man's cheek and asked, “That is rather... forward thinking for one so young. Why, exactly, do you feel compelled to do so?”

“I always wanted to be a father.” the young man replied, “I know, it sounds silly, but that was always my greatest dream. Where other's dreamed of careers and riches I though only of finding a bride and raising a family.” He chuckled darkly, “Yet here we are, my world being destroyed and the one possibility I had to achieving that dream anyway ripped away by... I don't know, a mutant gene? The will of magic? Fate? Does it matter? I'm doomed to watch my world die and live out my years in the middle of a crowd and yet eternally alone...”

In the heat of the moment James swung him free arm down against the bedside table and, to the surprise of both himself and Nice Save, reducing said table to splinters in the process. The young man stared at the table in befuddled awe for a moment before looking at the pony doctor, hoping for an answer.

Nice Save glanced from the table to James and back again before muttering, “A magical surge...”

There was an awkward pause before James sat up on his bed crosslegged and coughed into his fist, “So... Doc... I take it the staff did some tests while I was out. What did you discover?” He asked, clearly trying to pretend nothing had just been utterly annihilated.

“Hmm?” the doctor blinked as he was snapped back to reality, “Oh! Yes, well... I should point that it is standard procedure to send a copy of the documentation of any unusual cases through to the Princess overseeing the Bureaus...” At the simple nod he received from the young man he continued, “For the most part you are just a healthy human male who happens to be able to use magic. However...” The sigh that James had been about to let out caught in his throat, “There are two... odd observations compared even the prior mentioned. First is that giving you additional Potion doses appears to do little beside accelerate your healing process , in short you can heal from a near fatal wound by simply drinking a dose of Potion.”

“Well, that sounds handy.” James admitted, “If I decide to take up Dragon Slaying or something in the future I'll be sure to carry a supply of the stuff.” There was a brief silence before the young man asked, “So what was the second thing?”

“It seems that each time you take a dose of Potion it increases your maximum magical output.”

“Well shit.” James laughed, “All I need now is spiky hair and to yell a lot while looking constipated and I could pass as an anime protagonist.”

“Actually...” the doctor added, “There was one experiment we where hoping you would agree to?”

The young man blinked and tilted his head slight as he looked at the pony, “What experiment?”

The purple Alicorn alight gently on the grassy turf the temporary tent city made by all those that had been inside the destroyed Bureau had set up. Around her a token guard force landed and quickly dispersed to sure up the camps meagre defences. It wasn't much, but the white coats and golden armour of the few guards would be enough to keep casual threats at bay, and their training would leave the more knowledgeable threats away.

That only left the suicidal and the HLF, both equally dangerous and equally unpredictable.

Still, military matters where more her brother's department of expertise, she was here about a magic related anomaly. She would leave the soldiers to the soldiering while she focused on what she knew she could figure out. Hypothetically at least.

Shaking her head she reassured herself there was no magical puzzle she couldn't solve with enough time and patience. She was the Princess of Magic after all, there was no way something could stump her! Such a thought was inconceivable, almost heretical.

Taking a breath she turned on her heel and trotted straight towards the medical tent with a purposeful gait.

She was immediately stopped by a human female. It took Twilight a moment to remember the name of the human in front of her, having only seen her once before. She quirked an eyebrow as she silently invited the human to explain why she was stopping a Princess on a quest for science.

“Sorry Your... Um... Highness?” Sandy Valet stammered as she glanced towards the medical tent nervously, “But... you may want to take a raincheck on going in there...”

The former librarian blinked and raised her eyebrow further, “Why would I take a raincheck on investigating once of the most significant magical anomalies to ever appear on either world?”

“Well... you see...” As Twilight waited she noticed that Sandy looked plain ruffled and dishevelled, as if she had just finished a day pet sitting for herself and her friends pets. The reporter continued, “They decided to try and an experiment and I was waiting to get a one-on-one interview with James at the time and... well, I barely got out with my dignity...”

Unfortunately for Sandy that only made Twilight more interested in what was happening inside the medical tent. A determined expression found it's way as the indignant fury of being left out of an experiment with something she was so interested in filled her heart. She forced her way past Sandy and marched straight up to the door of the tent and through it open with her magic.

She froze.

It took her a full minute to regain her senses enough to begin to understand what she was seeing. In short, the interior of the medical tent had been taken from the controlled chaos of a triage to complete bedlam with ponies and humans scattered all over the place quivering in terror, and mirth strangely enough. The cause of their fear, and humour, was no where in sight.

Nice Save glanced at the Princess from where he hung, entangled in cords meant to hand lamps from, and shouted, “QUICKLY! SHUT THE DOOR BEFORE HE GETS OUT!!”

“Before who gets out?” Twilight asked right before she felt four limbs wrap themselves around her body.

“HII'MJAMES!YOURPRETTYFORAPONY!SINCEYOURSOPRETTYHAVEYOUEVERTHOUGHTOFMATINGWITHAHUMANCAUSEIHAVE!WITHAPONYIMEANIT'SNATURALFORMETOWANTTOMATEWITHAHUMANBUTIWANTTOTRYITWITHAPONYSODOYOUWANNATRYHUHUHUH?!”

“What did you DO?!” Twilight cringed as the human known as James nibbled on her ear.

“We fed him a litre of potion in under a minute just to see what would happen... current consensus is to call this state the 'Triple H State.'” Nice Save explained with surprising cheer considering his position.

“'Triple H State?'” Twilight deadpanned.

“High, Horny and Hilarious.”

The clack of hoof meeting forehead echoed around the tent.

Author's Note

So, we got the Feature Box with that last chapter folks.

...No pressure right...?

Also Denmark keeps Googeling this story... for some reason...

And We got finished cover art!

Anyway; Going to limit my replies down bellow, letting people speculate and guess wildly is always more amusing then giving anything away.