Ponies: Full Magic Consequences

by kanta

Rating: mature
Tags: Comedy, Random
Length: 1243

A story put together on 4chan, where each post could only contribute 5 words. Results were strange.

It's ostensibly a clopfic which includes a can opener, a zombie, and nerve-eating nanobots. I'm really not sure how else to summarize it except as the kind of stuff /mlp/ comes up with after midnight. Mostly about Lyra. Rules were/are:
ITT: Together, we write an story.
But you only get five words per post, and must continue from the previous post.

Twilight Sparkle was reading when…

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-04-18 05:48:26 UTC

Chapter 4: Shoo Be Doo

Mr Cake was baking a cake when suddenly, somepony shot his window. "FUCKING GUNSHOTS" he cried, as he stuffed a handful of pecans into the mouth of his wife, who crunched them seductively. Outside, he could see Twilight aimlessly

wandering, horn sizzling with magic. Pressure built up in his head as he tried to not think of Lyra. She was staring at

him, quivering, hooves on the window. She couldn't help but remember him and their time together during the summer sun

celebration. Suddenly, an incredibly large creature flew overhead: Princess Molestia. Angered at the destruction of her

rape castle and collection, she prepared her ultimate spell. An enraged Applejack bucked several of the burnt apple trees

sending pecans flying towards Molestia as she was casting. Mr Cake sprang into action, leaping into the air wielding his greatest baked creation. The brave and muscular Mr Cake tossed the thirteen-tiered wedding cake at the sexually deviant overlord, hoping to disrupt her concentration. John Freeman was there also and he beat a nigga after he stole her bike with a combine's arm he salvaged from a bin. Suddenly everyone was fucking, but Rarity resisted Molestia's orgy spell.

"How uncouth these ponies are!" said Rarity, slowly engaging her anti-human teleporter device to send Gordon Freeman back to the human world, but Lyra prevented the device from being used by pouncing on Rarity and quickly inserting the large hydraulics powered muffin into Rarity's marshmallow-colored handbag of delights. Lyra became angry because the humans disappeared despite her efforts. In revenge, she lustfully lunged at Rarity who stared in horror at the expression of orgasmic glee on Lyra's face as she became the sea pony, but crashed into deadpool's DeLorian which was full of Spetsnaz with

Pinkie riding shotgun. The DeLorian wasn't going 88 and and and and and and crashed into the Cake's secret prostitute farm, ruining a component of Molestia's Secret nerve machine, which is fueled by whores, hidden in the farm. The machine went haywire and removed all their nerves systematically from their very flesh, resulting in hundreds of orgasms.

Chapter 5: ISHIGGITY DIGGIT

Suddenly an army of Glorious Winged Faggots stole the can opener to defeat the Princess. A firestorm of dildos soon followed, slaying many on both sides. Bill Cosby rises from the ashes in a spectacle of lights and plunges his sword into the firey chamber of a fine dwarven brew. Rainbow Dash returned in all her brilliant lesbo glory, wielding a hand-glove on both hooves invented and enchanted by Lyra, and began to smash Cosby until Bill shouts "ISHIGGITY DIGGIT."

Just then, hundreds of mighty ghetto zebras pounce on the cake residence, battle axes at the ready, but suddenly out of THE FUCKING CLOUDS a lightning bolt hits Mr Cake's throbbing penis, which expelled urine to a tazer-like effect, zapping all the niggers, much to Lyra's disdain, because she loved niggers abunch.

"Where will I put my delicious supple sweet filly flesh?" said Gordon Freeman, holding aloft his throbbing crowbar. Suddenly the biggest worm ever exploded out of Twilight's magical bag of poop and started eating everything, and then anally raped the humans. Jealous, Lyra grabbed a pair of strong wirecutters and ripped the worm apart. She then pounced lustfully on a crudely, sketchy drawn pentacle vagina summoning more humans to rape.

Pinkie Pie, who was rubbing nyquil in Dash's zombified nostrils, decided to explode into twelve albino niggers which in turn demanded benefits but Iggy Pop slew them. The sudden influx of humans caught Celestia's attention, who ordered her guards to rape them all. JUST THEN, Spike turned on Lyra with his green flames which penetrated her already sensitive puss causing a chain reaction akin to a powerful supernova, destroying everything in a 60 mile radius.

Eric Idle began to cry dragon tears.

Chapter 1: Lethal Library Orgy

Twilight Sparkle was reading when Spike was cleaning the books. He tripped and found that Pinkie Pie was hiding his penis inside one.

"Pinkie! Get my penis out of this large, Equestrian tome!" Spike said, struggling to get the can opener so he could cut it and suck out the goodness.

However, at that moment, Twilight was schlicking furiously at the picture of Rainbow Dash with that bar stool and a picture of Twilight.

Spike had freed himself from the tyranny of Pinkie's devices and ran to the door just in time to see Gary motherfucking Oak eating out Fluttershy, who prompty set fire to Applejack's orchard of delicious apples.

And they all died.

BUT THEN DASHIE WAS ZOMBIE!

Chapter 2: Molestia's Castle / Party at Ponyville

Within the mysterious walls of an abbey called Redwall in the magical land of feces and oversized chickens that would immolate without warning even though they were inflammable, suddenly, out of nowhere, a giant dildo appears from Princess Molestia's castle of tricks, where diapers adorned the walls. Nopony has ever escaped Molestia's sexy sado-masochistic dungeon on the side of a mountain. Lyra was trapped there, bound to a strange device that eats nerves not connected to the genitalia. Slowly, Lyra could feel nothing but pleasure, except for the extremely slow hum of the ship's engines which resonated through her crotch, bearing some sort of mystical potion that Zecora probably crafted from diamond. The aforementioned diamonds were among the strongest metals in the universe of the finest craftsdwarfship.

Applejack raped Spike then Twilight and then Pinkie invited Dashie, which Dashie formally declined because her penis was sore due to the large amount of potatoes she ingested.

Meanwhile, as Octavia raped Vinyl, the castle began to collapse, but Lyra was still trapped, until Luna came to save her from the machine.

Chapter 3: Saving Lyra from Molestia's Grasp

Mrs. Cake could smell that kinda smelly smell that smelled... smelly, and Mr. Cake could feel the soft pounding of Rainbow's zombie dick against his throbbing baking sense. He loved seeing zombies. They inspired him to cannibalize his pregnant wife. He resisted the urge, however, as Mr. Cake was a good baker of treats and delicacies.

As Luna and Lyra flew, Lyra began to panic. She couldn't move her body, because Zecora's diamond potion was freezing every muscle except her giant, wet, throbbing forehead. It was starting to glow with magic as Lyra struggled to restore feeling in her body, but her vagina was fully aware that Luna would help her accomplish that.

Twilight, at this point, was fixing Spike's broken penis that was still spewing pieces of can-opener amidst blood and magic. Twilight was on top of the cabinet when Spike exploded, but then, out of nowhere, Luna stumbled in with Lyra, with Cadence in hot pursuit.

Twilight smmoned a force field and screamed loudly at Cadence, "STAY AWAY FROM MY BROTHER!"

It was at this point that Cadence retreated temporarily.

"What happened to Lyra?" Twilight asked Luna while she looked earthward, where Lyra twitched from her haunting ordeal with the many razorblades she had used while fighting off Princess Molestia, but to no avail.

"Can't... move... or feel... anything..." Lyra groaned as her pussy continued to pulse with the force of a thousand suns. She could feel nothing but Nurse Redheart made sure to restore her nerves. Unfortunately, Molestia had already thought ahead for this, activating a device planted deep inside of Lyra's unstable vagina, which erupted with pleasure and then promptly exploded Lyra's mind with uncontrollable lust.