The Polite Changeling

by Pvt blu

Rating: teen
Tags: Main 6, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Changelings, Comedy, Random, Slice of Life
Length: 3667

The story of a changeling wearing a fishing hat who is nice at all times even threatened (based of the Polite Spy )

It was chaos. changelings were everywhere

why is that changeling just sitting their smiling, and why is he wearing fisher's hat and most of all why is he so polite?

(based of afilthyleaver's Polite Spy)

Published 2014-09-06 20:00:07 UTC
Last updated 2014-09-13 07:52:02 UTC

Prologue

Prologue

A yellow pegasus guard with red mane rushed to he's equipment. Changelings have broken through the shield and was causing havoc. Running through the armory to arm him self but he stopped to see a changeling wearing a fishing hat sitting causally on a bench smiling. he stared straight at the Royal Guard. The guard prepared him self for a fight.

He never really liked fighting, he just wanted to be an artist but no, he's father wanted him to be a guard. Son, pegasi can't be artist, we cant use magic, that's why I signed you up for the guard,just like your old man. He shook his head to clear the thoughts, reminding himself that there is an enemy in front of him

"Hello good sir," said the changeling "I am the Polite Changeling,or PC for short. Whats your name?"

The guard was baffled by this.An enemy, not attacking on sight? "I- I'm Private Edging Spear" he replied nervously

"I see," PC said,he's smile never fading,pulling out a sandwich from nowhere "would you care for a sandwich?" he offered

Edging Spear timidly took it and said "Th-th-thank you" he was really confused. Was this a trick, a trap? why was the enemy giving him a present?

"No, thank you" he declared cheerily.

Edging nervously started eating the sandwich. It was delicious, one of the best things he have ever eaten in days, much better than the boring old military . Standing up PC started making for the exit "I hope you have a good day mister Spear and I hope we will meet again my friend. Oh and your equipment is right next to the spot were I was sitting." with that he left the building with Edging Spear,still eating his sandwich starred at his direction

"The fight! I forgot about the the Fight!" dropping the sandwich from his mouth and started putting his armor on

PC was walking around, acting as though he was completely oblivious about the fighting, saw Pinkie Pie using Twilight as a minigun

"Top shelf shooting!"PC suddenly shouted next to the pair, causing both to jump at surprise"My apologies for popping in unannounced, I am the Polite Changeling, or PC for short. Miss Sparkle may I get some love?"

"What? No!" Twilight shouted back at him

"it is alright." he said with smile still there

Twilight suddenly blasted him with her magic taking one of his limps " Nice shot." he said still smiling and levitated his lost limp and reattached it. Twilight could just stare in shock. He din't even flinch.

Pinkie gasped as she suddenly remembered who he was "I know all about you and how you are based of Polite Spy and never attacks even when attacked like the time CBS tried to get you screaming in agony but you just complemented his shots and when Painis Cupcake said he will eat you and you just asked for him to kill you quickly and actually got a red vagineer, a RED vagineer to be your friend and actually managed to get them all to be friends. I am soooo happy to meet you mister Polite Spy " Pinkie said in one breath and grabbed one of the changelings hoof with both her front hooves shaking them wildly and... wait a minute! Suddenly, I decided to make a personal appearance

"Pinkie Pie! You are not supposed to break the fourth wall and I am making my own readers confused by stating this to you!" I yelled at Pinkie. Cant she just leave that wall alone for one of my fics

"But that just makes it more interesting doesn't it blu-y? Besides, is that not why the random tag is there and do you think the Recruit will make an appearance, will he remember him?"

I just let out a sigh and said "Yeah, I guess your right and maybe, maybe but I will not spoil eneything beside's they don't even know who the Recruit is and I did not write his story yet. Now I gotta go, shiny and the bride is probably about use that barrier of love or what ever and I delayed this story long enough." with that I leave the scene and return to the position as Third Person author of this story

Twilight, snapping out of the trance of the confusing situation put her in, grabs Pinkie and pulls her away from the changeling."Are you crazy!? What if this is a trick!?"

"I assure you I mean no harm", seeming unfazed at what happened, stated with his smile never fading" Please, take this and let us be friends." as if conjuring it up, he takes a party cannon that looks just like Pinkies out of no were.

Pinkie Pie gasped "The Party Starter 9000 oh thank you!" she hugged PC in a tight hug.

The changeling hugged her back "No, thank you."

Twilight, however still seemed unconvinced" Are you sure that's not your party cannon he stole and is just giving it back to you? It looks like the same as your other party cannon."

"Oh Twily, you know I am the party expert and I can tell to identical party stuff out just by looking at. its just like me not being able to tell two books apart while you can!' Pinkie stated cheerfully.

"That makes sense , but how can you be sure". Twilight asked rubbing her chin with her hoof "He is still a changeling, a master of disguise "

"Miss Twilight please, I assure you I mean no harm, and please don't judge all the changeling just because of what one did, and sadly I am not as good as the others " PC made sure not to name anypony "Oh dear me I almost forgot, I want to give you this book" he handed a book to her

"The Complete History Guide To Equestria? How did you get this, these are very rare!" Twilight tried to remain stoic but the excitement in her voice was still there.

But before PC could react a barrier hit him knocking him against a building "Admirable shot." he said before passing out, with his hat falling slowly back on his head.

Author's Note

Im a very lazy person so dont expect updates soon but who knows, if it is a big success maby updates will come quicker

oh and the pinkie/author scene's may um... duplicate.

chapter 1: Fruitless interrogation

chapter 1: Fruitless interrogation

A Changeling woke up with the most terrible head ache. "Reminds me when the Red Scout hits me with his baseball" he grumbled to him self, "I really miss my the dustbowl, and I miss my blu team." he felt himself going deeper into depression

He looked around seeing that he was in a prison cell "The princesses or the queen's jail, I wonder which," he looked down at himself and saw his black body and his black jacket, he felt to his head to find his cap is still there "I see that I am still changeling." he left that there decided to try and sleep, lowering his cap over his eyes

"Good day sir," the changeling jumped a little and looked next to him to see another changeling wearing a fishing hat "My apologies, I am the Polite Changeling or PC for short. May I ask who you are?"

"I am the Recruit" he replied "do I know you, you sound so familiar" he asked, it was at the tip of his tongue but he could not just place his finger.... hoof on it.

"I am afraid not, for I believe this is the first time we met." the changeling responded

"I see," lowering his black cap again asking "do you know where we are?"

"I do believe we are in Canterlot's dungeon." PC replied but still grinning

"The princesses dungeon then." he grumbled "I fought Queen Chrysalis who revealed who I am. I was surprised to see that I was not a pony all this time, but I am not surprised that I am here, nor would I have been surprised if I was captured by the queen." he stated.

"Hey, you with the fishing hat, The captain wants to tort... I mean speak with you!" a guard yelled at the to from the outside of the cell

"Alright, ill see you later Recruit." PC greeted his new friend

The recruit just let out a sigh "Good luck, your gonna need it" with that he continued sleeping hoping it will help his head ache go away

Shining Armor made his way to the interrogation room, he was too find out this evil creature deep dark secretes. They did so much damage, the wedding had to be delayed for four days.He was gonna make sure that this thing wish it was never born.

"Is that thing ready?" he asked the guard outside the door

"Yes, captain." he replied saluting

"Did it give you problems?"

"No, Sir! It did not resist at all it just kept smiling and even complemented my armor." he a answered his captain again.

"I see.. your dismissed," the guard gave another salute before leaving. Strange, a changeling acting positive even in a situation like this? This was beyond Shiny. "Probably trying to get the easy why out I guess" he said to himself before entering

Shining Armor opened the door to see fishing hat wearing changeling, smile as wide as ever "Good day mister Armor, is there something that I can help you with?" the changeling asked

"How do you know my name?" he requested coldly but he then thought that every changeling knew about him for he almost married there queen.

"My dear friend, your the captain of the guard, of course everypony knows you," he happily replied "Oh where's my manners, I am the Polite Changeling, or PC for short" he introduced him self. Only to get slapped by Shining Armor

"Did I ask your name?" he yelled.

"Nice shot" the changeling replied with his grin still there

Shining just grunted at that for he did not know if it was an insult or a complement, he decided to just get this interrogation over with so he could just get this thing out of his sight " Tell me, where is your queen"

"You mean dear Chrysalis? I am afraid she is not my queen and I don't know where she is either" he said still grinning only to get slapped again

"nice shot" he just said STILL smiling before shining could say 'don't you lie to me' which some how amazed the captain

"So not talking eh? Well I have ways to make you talk" Shining Armor said, grinning wickedly, oh he was going to enjoy this.

----------The Next Day--------

"So how did it go? You have been gone for more then a day." The Recruit asked as PC came back to the cell , he was busy reading a magazine titled Mann Co. We Sell weapons and get in fights!

"Excellent, Shining Armor did a great job at torturing me, but I am afraid that I could not give him what he wanted." PC said with the last part in a little saddened tone.

"Shining Armor him self you say?" The Recruit chuckled to himself "Boy the stuff he has been through recently,what did he ask you?"

"He asked where Queen Chrysalis was but I did not know" PC replied

The Recruit raised an eyebrow at this "Strange I heard she was captured an hour after that shield blast, figured he would be one of the first to be notified unless this was some kind of prank the guards are pulling on him" rubbing his chin in thought "Mmmm... I wonder what is for dinner"

Meanwhile at the royal kitchen

Princess Celestia was eating her favorite food stuff:Cake, when Shining Armor came in looking exhausted and his armor, well defiantly not shiny

"So, how did the interrogation go?"she asked curious to find out what he found out from the changeling

"I don't know , Princess, he keeps saying he doesn't know where there queen is and he keeps complementing me being a good torturer I am,no matter what I do, I even got all his limps pulled of but he just kept smiling and reattached them." he could not take much more of this, if he had to go on like this, he will be sleeping through his wedding.

Celestia looked at Shiny confused "You know that she was caught the about an hour after the blast, right?"

this was too much, Shining collapsed right there, all his work for nothing. It was just to much for him.He got up and went out the door with a very dazed looking face and went to the dungeon going to PC and the Recruit cell"I need to see the changeling" commanded the guard in front of the cell the guard saluted and got out of the way he went inside

"good afternoon mister Armor" the wishing hat wearing changeling greeted

"You, your free and your even invited to the wedding" Said to the changeling

"What about me? nothing has happened sense i was knocked out!" Recruit called out but Shiny ignored him and and left "Well at least nothing crazy happened" Recruit sighed and tugged the magazine into his jacket

"Well ill be seeing you Recruit" PC greeted

"Yeah, and I wish only the best for you" with that the Recruit lowered his cap again for another nap "and I still wonder what is for dinner."

Author's Note

I don't know if i should add the crossover tag because the Recruit come's from tf2 but this is his first story appearance

chapter 2: Repetitive Problems

chapter 2: Repetitive Problems

These events are on the day of the Wedding

"Alert, Queen Chrysalis escaped!" alarms started going of but the one that was on the monitor was fast asleep, he was a blue earth pony with a round helmet covering his eyes, he did not pay attention because it was most likely something that was not important just like all the over times

In the past

"alert, your mama in the base!" the electronic announcer said

"What? my mother in the base?" the earth pony repeated

"Hi sweetie, you forgot your lunch again!" a voice rang out somewhere

"doh no...."

"Alert, Heavy is hungry," the earth pony grumbled at himself as this as those words lit up" protect the sandwich!"

"We must protect the sandwich!" the pony repeated and rushed to the kitchen to see a blue pegasus with earpiece and a cap

"Jo! A little help here?" he called for aid

" I got it, stand back son," the earth pony started to push the 3 button " three..three and uhhh? three!"

The door started to open slowly but then the two heard a loud cry from behind "Incoooomiiiing" they turned around to see a very big earth pony rushing to them.

"no,no,no. wait!" the pegasus called out to stop him but it was to late they crashed through the door and into the kitchen they all stopped at a table with sandwich, with the giant earth pony approaching to eat

"Heavy! Do not do it! " the earth pony desperately called for his huge teammate to stop.

"Nom nom nom, nom,nom" it was to late, the heavy already began eating the sandwich." so? what did little soldier want to say?"

"Oh, geeze! " the pegasus cried in annoyance

"You failed "the speakers rang out followed by booing

"Alert! Pinkie Pie owns base!"

"WHAT!!!!" the soldier cried out. He peaked out a door to see a party with confetti,cake, balloons and fireworks(indoors) , he slowly retracted his head and went to hide in the bathroom, "This is not happening, this is not happening this is not happening" he repeated to himself.

"Could you hurry it up in there?"

"Alert! Proof! The moon is made out of cheese!"

"Why is this important?" the soldier asked himself.

" Hey, Solly you need to see this " the blue pegasus called him.

"What is it now,Scout" the blue earth pony went over to the window Scout was,only to see a certain earth pony flying to the moon using prototype rockets.

"Im coming for you!" the Heavy called out to the moon leaving the rest of his team starring mouth agape at him.

Present Time

"Sargent wake up!" it was Edging Spear, temporarily enlisted with the offensive experts.

"What is it, private?" the soldier asked the one who disturbed his nap

"Barker, sir, look!" he pointed at the screen showing 'Queen Chrysalis escaped'.

"What? Queen Chrysalis escaped!?" the soldier yelled, this was serious, and most of the team was on vacation.

"Yes sir!" Edging Spear responded.

"Then lets go, private" with that the two rushed quickly getting their weapons, soldiers one was magically enhanced firework launcher, they went to the door that led outside the base to see the Scout struggling again with the door.

"Recon? You forgot the code again?" Edging asked the blue pegasus.

"Yeah, yeah just help me with this" the Scout responded.

"I got it,son stand back" the soldier responded " lets see one,one and uhhh.. one!

Nothing happened, the 1 button was so over used it did not work.

"Iiiiiiincoooooooooomiiiiiing!!" they heard the cry of the heavy rushing to them with surprising speed, considering the thing he had on his shoulder.

"No,no stop Batter Ram stop!" Edging Spear called out but alas it was to late.

With a bang the overly sized earth pony slammed against the door with Edging,Scout and Soldier in between, the door did not budge , at that moment a sign with 'meet the door that wont open' written on it appeared with music playing in the background.

"Solly, told you to change the password but no!" the Scout started shouting at the Soldier.

"Do not look at me, I don't make these passwords!" the Soldier simply responded.

"little door is to strong for giant pony." the heavy stated.

"You, if you did not break the doors down so regularly it would not have been this strong!" the Scout yelled at the Heavy.

"Little pony wants to fight? let us fight!" the Heavy growled at the Scout , and the Scout growled back.

"Gentlecolts?" a voice came from behind and at that moment another sign came up saying ' meet the spy' with the same music playing in the back round as the previous sign.They all turned around to see a blue pegasus wearing a suit and a mask (who was a changeling but only he's teammates know about it.)

"I assure the wedding is safe?" the spy asked.

"No." the rest said in unison.

"then, we still got a problem" the masked pegasus responded and started to mash the 1 button

Meanwhile at the wedding

everything went right this time no unfortunate interruption but unfortunately, that did not happen, not in this story

"The cake is a bloody spy!" the Recruit came bursting in through the doors an the guards could do nothing to stop him

There was a lot of 'what now' mumbles from the crowd, The Recruit tackled the wedding cake and proceeded to beat it, their was a gasp of shock

"Our wedding cake!" princess Cadence shouted but just then a scream came out of the cake and it turned into a spy dressed in red

"I knew it," the changeling said after he had beaten up the red Spy "Wait a second, what is he doing here? He lost?" he studied his surroundings to see he just crashed a wedding. He felt his cheeks get hot with embarrassment "sorry?" he said awkwardly before running.

everypony stared at shock at this scene .Fluttershy was cowering behind Rarity, Rarity put on her classes and took it of again as if her eyes were lying . Rainbow Dash moaned to herself, Twilight How did it get out she thought , Pinkie was to busy with other stuff to notice

"What in the hay did ah just witness?" AJ asked to nopony in particular but then the recruit in flying in the back of the wall.

"Chrysalis escaped!" he warned before falling to the ground face first

"I had enough!!" a random pegasus yelled out before jumping out of the window

The queens laugh could be heard "Dear princess you think you could stop me that easily"

Princess Celestia snapped , can't this wedding be completed " Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherbucking interruptions in this motherbucking wedding" with that, the princess and the queen fought again

"PC, do something !" the Recruit yelled at the fishing hat wearing changeling " Celestia is using her full power, who knows what the damage will be

The Polite Changeling (who have been complimenting everything during the events) grin finally faded, as he realized he had been called upon for help. He ran other to the two fighting rulers and gave Celestia slap to the face and Chrysalis a hoof to the stomach

"Please do not use this barbaric way of solving problems, can't we all just be friends? " the Polite Changeling asked.

The two rulers looked at each other and then to the ground "Okey" they both mumbled and shaked hooves

"Sorry to interrupt but can we please just get this wedding over with?" the Recruit asked and just then the doors burst open yet again with Edging, Heavy,Soldier,Scout and a blue unicorn with a hardhat came in shouting battle cries.

Everypony glared at them for the interruption "Welp, looks like they sorted out, ah guess we all should get moving," the hardhat unicorn said "sorry for interrupting this special moment" tipping his hat and pushed the rest of the team out the door

Author's Note

Still unsure about the crossover tag because the only one who moved from one universe to another is the Recruit :/