Twilight Wants a Harem

by Crowquill Symphony

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Random, Sex, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1339

Like the princesses of old, Twilight Sparkle decides she wants to assemble a group of studs for her own devices.

Being a princess has its own perks; you get prestige, power, a fancy castle and all the royal accouterments. But there is one other thing a princess can do which Twilight decides to pursue in depth; that thing being the right to form a harem of studs waiting at her beck and call.

Something I wrote in a short amount of time on a whim. I hope you enjoy it, questions, comments and constructive criticisms are welcome and appreciated. Have a great day!

Cover art by yours truly!

Published 2014-08-10 23:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-08-10 23:50:02 UTC

And by god she's gonna get one!

“Look around you Spike,” Twilight said atop the balcony to her new crystalline palace, “what do you see?”

The baby dragon glanced around silently for a moment. “The town of Ponyville?”

She nodded and turned around. “And behind us Spike?”

He shot a look back at the new tree-like castle. “Your new castle?”

“That’s right Spike. I’m a ruler now, a member of the royal family, the leader of all those who dwell in my domain. And as such, there is one thing I need more than anything else now…”

“A crown? You’ve already got one of those.”

“No Spike…”

“Political power?”

“No Spike…” Twilight’s responses were sound more and more annoyed.

“A small army or guard force?”

“No.”

“A team of crack commando servants ready and willing to do your every bidding?”

Twilight slammed her hooves down and shouted, “No Spike! I’m talking about a harem!”

“What?” Spike asked, “Why do you need a harem?”

“Spike, as a princess I am entitled to a certain degree of comfort, and recorded documents of both Celestia’s and Luna’s rule show that unmarried Princesses require a harem in order to ensure their mental and physical well being is cared for. As for the exact how and why of it, let me just say that one day you’ll be older, and then you might understand.” With that Twilight turned and flew off her balcony towards the town.

As she descended, Spike leaned over the balcony and shouted out, “Are harems for sex?”

Sweet Apple Acres, the middle of the day. Applejack was out and about among the trees, bucking them and gathering the fruits that fell with each blow. She’d been getting ready to buck the southern orchard when she heard the flapping of wings approaching rapidly. When she turned around she found none other than Twilight Sparkle touching down in her fields, a surprisingly regal bearing about her. No doubt about it, Twi was about to pull rank.

“Howdy Twi,” She greeted, “What can Ah help y’with?”

Twilight nodded and smiled back before straightening up once more. “Greeting Applejack. I’m afraid I’m here on official princess business.”

“Sumpthin’ wrong?”

“Not quite. I need your brother.”

Applejack raised a brow. “Beg pardon? There sum construction goin’ on or sumthin?”

“Not quite.” Twilight responded. “I’m assembling a crack team of Equestrian males assembled to ensure my physical and emotional wellbeing through excessive amounts of wild, poem-worthy coitus.”

It took Applejack a few seconds to decipher what exactly Twilight was asking about, but when she got it her face turned red as a sunrise. “Y’want mah brother fer sum kinda harem? Are you just messin with me?”

Twilight shook her head, and Applejack felt herself growing tense. “An what makes yah think Ah’ll just let yah take mah brother fer your little stud party?”

“Three-thousand bits as a flat sum for three years on retainer. Plus three members of my newly formed Dusk Guard assigned to your farm in order to compensate for lost labor.”

Applejack was stunned. Her jaw dropped, her eyes went wide, and she had to physically focus to prevent herself from fainting. After a minute she’d regained enough control over her body to shout out, “Mac! Pack yer bags, yer goin’ home with Twilight!”

Bulk Biceps stood ramrod stiff as the Princess of Ponyville examined him head to hoof, taking in every detail of his physique and form as Rainbow Dash extolled his merits to her.

“...Now don’t get me wrong, as far as being a flyer is concerned Bulk’s a little on the low end, but in terms of pure muscle, endurance, and willpower, he’s totally in the top 10. Seriously, he bench pressed a house once. A schoolhouse.” Dash seemed rather pleased with the situation as Twilight nodded approvingly. “I know you’ve got a dozen pegasi lined up to be in your harem, but a lot of those colts are just hot air, y’know? All bark, no bite. Except Thunderlane; from what Rarity’s told me, he’s a bit of a biter. But yeah, Bulk Biceps? The real deal.”

Twilight gave another quick nod before looking Bulk straight in the eyes. “Well, he seems up to the task, but there’s one last thing I need to know before accepting him into my harem.” One of her wings brushed gently across his flank, up to his shoulder, down his barrel and past towards areas unmentionable.

“I must inspect his goods,” She whispered seductively into Bulk’s ears, and at that moment there was a sudden and heavy thud against the wooden floor of the room. Both Rainbow Dash and Twilight glanced downwards before blushing with the intensity of a red dwarf star.

After a moment Dash had recovered enough to speak. “Y’know, this kinda makes me feel bad for switching your drug test at the Equestria Games. No way you’re doing steroids if you’ve got that bad boy.”

Appleoosa was abuzz with news that day, every stallion and mare in town gathered in the square as the sheriff and his deputies called everypony over. As the last members of the community trickled in the sheriff cleared his throat and unrolled a scroll bearing the seal of the Princess Twilight. “All righty y’all, listen up! Ah have here a proclamation on behalf of the Princess Twilight Sparkle, Ruler of Ponyville, and princess of Friendship.”

The crowd was silent, everypony hanging on his every word as he continued. “Now it says here that Miss Sparkle is fancying herself some stallions to satisfy her every carnal need, an’ in order to take care of that she’s put out notice lookin’ for stallions of character, endurance, and bedroom skill to enlist as members of her harem.”

At the mention of a harem a number of the mares in the crowd left, along with a number of married couples. Despite this the sheriff continued to read. “It ain’t just volunteer work; everypony who joins up gets a thousand bits per year of service, an’ a member of her Dusk Guard assigned t’ watch his household an’ run his affair while he’s gone.”

That got the crowds attention, and in mere seconds stallions were either charging the stage to sign up themselves, or were being dragged there by their wives. A day later the number had been whittled down to ten rugged, courteous, well-mannered studs just for the princess, all of them packed on a train and shipped out towards Ponyville with dreams in their hearts and their best bedroom socks and briefs in their suitcases.

This decree was sent out to a number of small towns, and each one sent their own batch of suitors, though a number of them were also sent home for various reasons following a personal inspection by the princess herself. In the end, there was a crop of forty stallions taken from across Equestria, all part of Princess Twilight’s new harem.

Understandably, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna kept themselves aware of the events. “She’s certainly taking advantage of this, isn’t she?” Luna asked, and Celestia simply smiled.

“Reminds you a bit of your first harem, doesn’t it?” She replied, and Luna chuckled.

“I didn’t sleep for a week, and ten of them were hospitalized for dehydration. Do you think she’s prepared for that?”

“Considering Canterlot Medical has approved a shipment of seven hundred gallons of saline solution bags and appropriate IV stands, and needles along with a large number of condoms, yes. I’d say she’ll be very well guarded against dehydration during her first orgy.”

They were silent after that, just watching the stars in the sky and the migration of stallions to Ponyville with smiles on their faces. Just before they went their separate ways, Luna looked back to Celestia and asked, “By the way sister, how was she paying for all of this?”

Author's Note

Sometimes you gotta write something random, something your gut tells you to write. This is an example of one such writing.