Author's Note
Big Macin' took an ax,
gave his mother forty whacks.
When he'd saw what he had done,
he gave his father forty-one!
Please Forgive Me!
Granny Smith was dying. It wasn't because that she was dying from a fatal disease, nor from a heart attack or even a stroke. Rather, it was age that was coming to claim her. The 117-year-old was laying on her bed when not only the entire town but even the whole family from all across the distant corners of Equestria were standing in front of the familiar farmhouse.
During the last few days since the news broke out, ponies from all walks of life came to wish the Apple elder farewell. From the mayor to employees who once worked with the family at one point came to say their goodbyes to her. By now, she already had talked with most of the family. She already talked and said goodnight to both of her granddaughters.
The only pony whom she didn't get the chance to talk to was her older grandson, Big Macintosh.
"Granny?" That was, until now.
"Come in."
The door opened up, in the soft lights of her lamps she saw the red stallion without his trademark yoke around his neck. He asked softly, "Can ah talk to ya?"
"'Course, come in." He entered the room, closing the door behind him. He slowly approached the bed where she can see that he had a sad look in his eyes. She already had a good idea what kind of final talk was going to be like. It was one of those confessions that she'd already heard from the past few days. From the coming out from Braeburn to some dishonest transactions from past employees, she wondered what his own grandson was about to unleash.
He stood there in silence for a good long while, fighting back tears from her that failed miserably. "G-Granny!" He at last wailed out. "Ah-ah'm so sorry! Please forgive me!" Now tears came rolling down like a pair of wild rivers.
"Hey now," -Granny said, lifting a weak hoof to try to comfort himself "what's wrong? What's all this about?"
Big Mac hugged his grandmother as he continued to cry for several minutes. As she tried to comfort him, she couldn't help but think what has gotten him so upset that he was bawling his eyes out.
"Please forgive me!"
"Ah'm still in the dark here dear. Now, why not you'd tell me what's been troublin' ya."
"Ah... Ah, can't."
"Oh 'course ya can. You can tell your Granny Smith anythin'. "
He looked at her in the eye. "Promise me you won't get mad?"
She quickly snorted, "Me? Gettin' mad? Now Macintosh, Ah've heard some pretty messed up things from them ponies outside. Ah promise with my still beating heart that no matter what you're gonna say to me, I will never be mad at yeah. Now tell me what's wrong."
"It's Ma and Pa."
She immediately knew where this was going. It was about her son's and his wife's death. The double ax murders that nopony could solve. She thought it has to do when he was accused of killing both of them since he was at the farmhouse at the time. However, it was found unlikely that the gentle young colt could do such a horrific thing to his own parents. So he was set free, however, he was bullied from time to time about the incident.
"Mac, ya had nothin' ta do wi-"
"Granny!" Big Mac interrupted. "Please, let me have mah say."
"Oh alright. Go ahead, ah ain't goin' nowhere. "
He took several deep breaths. "This... This is gonna be really hard for me."
"Just let it all out."
At last, he spoke: "You do remember them right? Pa workin' in the orchard and Ma with sellen' the crops and what not?"
"Ah remember."
"And ya remember ah was like, ya know, befor' the murder."
"Yeah. Yous used to be as excitable as Apple Bloom and as talkative as Pinkie. And then ya turn silent all of a sudden."
He nodded. "And have ya ever noticed that at mah age, I still don't have a special somepony?"
"Now what's got ta do with anythin'?"
Mac paused for a moment. "Allot. Yah see, back then I was developin' a crush on someone at school. Ah never really told-"
"Who is it?" Granny interrupted. Big Mac froze for a while.
"Anyways," -he continues- "the day before it happened, I was drawin' out a picture of me and mah crush when pa came in... And he got so mad at me he tore the picture ta pieces."
"Who else were ya drawin' about?"
He hesitated. "C-Caramel. It was Caramel."
Granny blinked. "So was that what your upset about? That you're a colt cuddler?"
He shook his head. "That ain't it. When he saw that picture of me and Caramel and tore it up, he dragged me to the storage barn by the ear..." By now, his voice was shacking. "....After he closed the door, he tied my forelegs up in the air where ah couldn't touch the ground. H-He gaged me and... He beat me Granny. He bucked me. A-And punched me... And even used the shovel on me... H-He called me names a-and spat on me..." Now he was back to sobbing again. "B-But then, he tied my h-hind legs to s-spread me o-open. And... I-It hurt s-so m-much!"
Granny was horrified. She hugged her sobbing grandson. She couldn't believe it, her son, all those years ago had done something this unspeakably violent to his own son. She held him close for a long time until he was able to speak once more.
"Ah-Ah tried to tell Ma, but did ya know what she did? She slapped me. And told me to never speak that way about Pa ever again. Ah wanna ran away Granny. Ah wanted ta."
"But what made ya stay?"
"Pa gotten drunk that night. Ah overheard 'em. He said he was gonna do the same ta Applejack if he found out that ah corrupted her. Ah can't ever let 'em do what he did ta me Granny. Ah just couldn't. "
Granny let that piece of information sink in. "Mac," -she said softly- "what did ya do?"
Big Mac looked right into her eyed and say, "Granny, Ah really need ya to Pinkie promise that you'll hear me out." She did so.
"That night, Ah made up mah mind Ah had to do somethin' so Pa will never do that to anypony ever again. And Granny... Ah had ta kill 'em. Not because Ah wanna, but to protect Applejack and possibly Apple Bloom... So Ah waited the next day for y'all to be out of the house. When ya went to the market with AJ and Apple Bloom that was still an infant. Ah took off mah yolk and grabbed the ax we used to cut wood with when Pa was out. Ah... Ah took it upstairs to their room and waited for ma who did nothin' ta help. And when she turned around... Ah swing that ax at her again, and again and again. Ah still remember the blood flyin' Granny. The blood that was gettin' on me. So Ah washed up as best Ah could off of me as well as the ax too. Then Ah waited for Pa ta come home for his noonday naps on the couch... Ah waited for him to be somewhat asleep 'til Ah crept over. But before Ah could even swing at his face... Ah saw him open an eye and he said mah name before I swing. G-Granny, Ah never been so angry in all mah life! Ah just kept on swingin' until Ah was sure he was dead. There was so much blood that Ah had to clean off of me before Ah could return that cleaned up ax back. And Ah didn't run Granny, for Ah thought then that's exactly what they'd expect a killer would do. So Ah waited 'til you showed up for me to scream. And... You know the rest."
Granny Smith laid silent. Completely speechless. But her grandson wasn't finished.
"Ah always felt guilty Granny. Every time Ah looked back, Ah often thought if there was another way. Like tellin' you or goin' to the police or somethin' that didn't end with me usin' that ax. But at the time, Ah was so shaken at what they'd did ta me that Ah didn't see there was anyway else ta solve it. Ever since then, Ah tried ta stay away from ponies. Granny, Ah ain't no monster. But after what Ah did. Ah'm afraid. Ah'm afraid of doin' that again ta another pony. What if Ah gets so mad that Ah pick that ax again? Ah don't wanna hurt no pony any more. Ah don't wanna get inta a fight with my special somebody and end up killin' em. P-Please Granny. Ah'm really scared." And once again, he wept.
Granny, in her bizarre wisdom, took the stallion into her own hooves and said: "Ah still love you."
"What?"
"Ah said Ah still love you. Now grant it, that was the most foolish and foulest thing you've ever done. You took away their lives Big Macintosh Apple. But Ah can see that you do feel remorse at what you'd done. And you want nothin' more than to protect your kin from those who would hurt them. As well as no longer wanting to cause more bloodshed than you'be already had. And Ah, Macintosh, forgive you."
Mac continued to cry as he embraced her back. "But," -Granny added- "ya need to tell ponies about this. This is what the family needs ta hear. Now, the whole family may not forgive ya as quickly as Ah have. But this family's honestly is what's at its core. You've been lyin' to not just everypony, but you've been lyin' to yourself in more ways than one. Ya hear me?"
He nodded.
"And one more thing, if there's anypony here that truly needs forgiven, it's yourself..All that forgiveness will mean dit nothin' if the one thing you can do is forgive yourself. You understand me."
"Eeeup."
"Good, you do that for me." She sighed for a moment. "Mac, Ah don't think ah'll wake up tomorrow. So if that does happen, good night, and goodbye."
Big Mac didn't say anything, giving her a hug for the last time, he then turns off the lights, closing the door on the way out.
