Cafeteria Control

by Justice3442

Rating: teen
Tags: Human, Sunset Shimmer, Main 7 (EqG), Dazzlings, Equestria Girls, Comedy, Random, Adventure
Length: 21098

After the student body of Canterlot High is swayed by yet another surprise musical number during lunch, Sunset Shimmer muses the students are easily influenced by songs at this time. Pinkie quickly comes up with a song of her own.

After the student body of Canterlot High is swayed by yet another surprise musical number during lunch, Sunset Shimmer muses the students are easily influenced by songs at this time. Pinkie quickly comes up with a song of her own.

Sunset Shimmer considers this a high point of her week.

Published 2014-08-11 04:40:05 UTC
Last updated 2014-10-01 00:42:54 UTC

Chapter 0: Weird Welcomes

Cafeteria ControllingChapter 0: Weird Welcomes-ooooooo-

“Hi!” Sunset said cheerfully as walked up to Canterlot High School’s somewhat recently repaired entrance.  “Are you the girls I’m supposed to show around?”

“We are,” a head full of curly orange-and-yellow hair that went down to her waist announced as she stepped into the light. She wore a lavender and pink outfit complete with pink tights, a spiked gold belt, and lavender platform boots with even more golden spikes.

Two other girls stepped into the light right behind her. The girl to the right of the orange-and-yellow had purple hair that had teal streaks in it tied up in two ponytails. She wore a teal shirt with torn sleeves over a white blouse and tight, glittery purple pants that went down to a pair of purple platform boots.

The final girl had light blue hair with dark blue streaks which was tied up into a single pony tail. She wore a purple jacket with hot pink sleeves and collar, a pink skirt, and nearly knee high purple boots with white soles.

Sunset maintained her smile as she looked over the unusual outfits of the girls. No… Don’t say anything snarky… The rest of the school already hates you… Keep it together and be nice even if it looks like these three escaped from an episode of ‘Jem’ after they savagely beat the Misfits and stole their clothes…

After a brief round of introductions, where the girls identified themselves as Adagio, Sonata, and Aria, Sunset jumped right into the tour.

“Canterlot High is a great school,” Sunset said as she began to walk down the school’s hallway. “You’re really going to love it.”

The other girls began to follow her.

“Oh yes,” Adagio said with what appeared to be a slightly sinister smile with a tone to match. “We really sense there’s something magical about this place…”

Sunset said nothing as she simply looked forward, smile still plastered on her face. Okay, so Adagio says weird, ominous stuff…You’re used to weird… you’re friends with Pinkie Pie… You can totallydeal here…

A short while later, and Sunset had pushed the oddness of the introductions aside and happily walked down the hall, pointing out various rooms.

“That’s the science lab, computer lab is in there… Oh!” Sunset rushed over to a crooked poster of an electric guitar with the words ‘Musical’ and ‘Showcase’ printed on it. “We’re having a big musical showcase this weekend! The whole school is pretty much rallying around it!”

Adagio made a quick gasp. “A… musical showcase?” she said in an interested tone as she flashed a somewhat sinister look back at the other two girls, who also flashed sinister looks at each other.

Sunset continued to give them an upbeat smile. “I’m sure since you’re new, Principal Celestia would let you sign up if you’re interested. I mean… she pretty much lets anyone sign up for anything regardless of any mitigating factors… Like them actually being a student! Or heck… She pretty much lets anyone become a student regardless if they actually have an ID on them or proof that they have parents or a legal guardian or anything!”

Adagio and Aria shot each other slightly nervous looking grins.

“Oh, we know!” Sonata said cheerfully. “Otherwise there was no way we were going to get into—”

Aria quickly placed her hand on Sonata’s face and pushed her aside. Sonata crashed into the lockers.

“OW!” Sonata cried from the floor. “Guys! Gravity stopped working again!”

Sunset looked at the display in front of her with a slightly befuddled look. “Uh…”

Aria absentmindedly examined her hand. “We have been known to sing from time to time.”

Sonata suddenly popped back up next to Aria, apparently no worse for wear. “Helloooooo~!” she cried. “We sing like all the time! It’s how get people to do what we want! You know… with our magical powers and everything!”

Sunset stared blankly at Sonata. Just… just power through it, Sunset. Otherwise there will never be more than a handful of people who like you!

Adagio turned and shot Sonata an angry look as she made a quick motion with her hand in front of her neck.

“What? What did I say?” Sonata asked with a shrug.

Adagio pointed at Sonata and smiled. “What you meant to say is that being in a musical showcase is a great way to meet other students.”

“Ooooooh yeah!” Sonata pointed at Adagio. “What she said I meant to say!” She smiled wide. “That’s what I meant… to say… but didn’t… because I said something else… that I didn’t mean to…”

Sunset stared blankly at Sonata.

 “And what you would have said if you weren’t the worst!”

“You are!” Sonata cried. “The worst that is… I meant to say that… that you are the worst… And that I’m not… the worst.”

Aria rolled her eyes. “Nice comeback. Where’d you get that one? Collaborating with a bucket of hammers again?”

“Oh yeah! Well… I’m rubber you’re glue… uh…” Sonata paused and reached into her coat. “Just a second, I wrote this one down...”

Adagio sighed heavily.

Sonata pulled out a slightly wrinkled bit of line paper. “You’re… eggs, bread, milk, and five cans of hairspray…” Sonata looked up with a giant grin on her face. “So take that!”

Adagio quickly stepped in front of Sunset. “You’ll have to excuse them, they’re idiots.”

Sunset gave Adagio another blank stare then smiled. “It’s alright, I understand completely.”

-ooooooo-<

“Snips! Snails!” Sunset barked out as she threw open a classroom door. “I need you two to...to… Are you two eating paint chips?!”

Snips and Snails turned towards Sunset and smiled, their teeth full of small, slightly tanned flecks.

“Isn’t it great?” Snips cried. “We found all this wall-candy, and it’s all free.”

“Yeah!” Snails agreed. “We even saved plenty for you!”

Sunset sighed and smacked a palm to her head. She reached into her leather jacket and pulled out a smartphone.  “And you two wonder why I have poison control on my list of contacts…”

<-ooooooo->

“Oh hey guys!” Sonata exclaimed. “I just realized that Sunset might think we’re evil with some of the things I said!”

Adagio and Aria synchronized bringing their palms up to their faces with audible ‘Smacks!’

Sunset looked at Sonata and raised an eyebrow. “Okay… just… what?”

“We’re not evil, just so you know! We’re totally like… regular students and junk… And we’re not going to try to hypnotize the school and feed off all the student’s energy…”

Adagio and Aria synchronized raising their other hand to their own faces.

Sunset’s eyes darted across the three. Well… this is weird, awkward, and kind of creepy… Quick… Topic change… Topic Change… Sunset suddenly noticed Adagio fiddling with a large red jewel on a black choker around her neck. She quickly noticed the other two girls had them as well.

“Aheh… Those are pretty!” Sunset said cheerfully. She reached out for Adagio’s jewel. “Where did you—”

Adagio quickly shifted back and snatched Sunset’s wrist.

Sunset gave a slightly fearful look as Adagio clamped tight. Eak! Stranger danger… Stranger danger!

Adagio’s eyes widened slightly and she let go. “Ahahahehehehe… Sorry!” she said with a slightly nervous, apologizing look as Sunset rubbed her wrist. She touched her jewel. “These pendants mean an awful lot to us. We’d just hate for anything to happen to them.”  Adagio smiled as she walked off, Aria quickly followed.

 “Yeah!” Sonata said. “They’re totally the source of our power! I mean… if something happened to them, we’d like… be helpless and all our plans would be ruined.”

“Uh…”

“Also! We’re not evil!” Sonata added. “Not sure if I mentioned that…”

Adagio quickly reached out and grabbed Sonata, dragging her along. “Sonata!” she snapped. “Keep quiet or I’m suspending your talking privileges again!”

Aria chimed in. “Can we suspend her breathing privileges?”

Sunset gave the three a suspicious look as they walked off. Welp… That was… weird… I’m just going to go hang out with my friends who are hopefully less weird than… than all that today… Sunset sighed to herself. At least the bar was set reallylow this time around…

“Oh my gosh guys!” Sonata cried from down the hall as Sunset walked away. “This place has free wall-candy!”

“Sonata, I hope you get every type of cancer and then die,” Aria said.

Chapter 1: Pinkie’s Song

Cafeteria ControlChapter 1: Pinkie’s Song-ooooooo-

“Oooooh… They’re that kind of odd!” Pinkie exclaimed.

Sunset Shimmer, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Fluttershy sat at a long, rectangular cafeteria table together and stared out at the scene in front of them. A trio of female students had just walked into lunch and completed an oddly sensual musical number complete with plenty of random caressing of the student body. A song which had left the students of the school agitated and arguing with each other.

“Is it just me,” Sunset Shimmer wondered out loud, “or was that sort of highly inappropriate for a high school?”  She glanced out into the collection of quarreling students. “Am I right, Trixie?”

“TRIXIE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT HER FEELINGS ARE DOING RIGHT NOW!”

Sunset sighed. “Been nice talking to you, Trixie…”

“Welp,” Rainbow Dash said, “good thing I just spent the last several weeks conveniently assembling a band.”

Rarity nodded. “It would seem to be remarkable timing, wouldn’t it?”

Applejack spoke up. “I’d say that’s more serendipitous than someone showin’ up with a fiddle that’s already been tuned for a hoedown.”

Sunset Shimmer raised an eyebrow at Applejack, but ignored her in favor of scowling across the table. “Fluttershy, is your main course a stick of celery?”

Fluttershy leaned back and slumped her shoulders, attempting to shrink away slightly from Sunset’s accusing gaze. “…Ma… maaaaaybe?”

“Okay…. just… what?” Sunset replied as she shook her head. “The school has plenty of vegetarian options, and even a vegan meal with some sustenance is not that hard to throw together! Why did you pick something to eat your body can barely digest?!”

Fluttershy frowned. “Well I erm… I’m kind of on a diet…”

Sunset cocked an eyebrow. “Are we having trouble achieving lift off when the wind picks up?”

“Hey!” Pinkie snapped. “Don’t bully Fluttershy!”

“I’m not bullying her!” Sunset insisted as she threw her hands up in the air. “I’m making sure she doesn’t die of malnutrition! Big difference!”

Rarity motioned to Fluttershy. “But you’re scaring poor Fluttershy!”

Fluttershy let out a quiet “Meep” in response.

Applejack nodded. “She’s more scared than a herd of cows in a stampede, alright.”

Sunset glanced at Applejack, sighed and moved on. “Fine, topic change. Has anyone noticed the entire school body seems susceptible to whatever songs tell them to do during lunchtime?”

“Whatever do you mean, darling?” Rarity asked.

Sunset motioned out to the students, many of them still arguing with each other. “You five team up with Twilight Sparkle and do a little music number, and suddenly the whole school wants to vote for her even though she didn’t know how to work a computer or photocopier. Adagio just shows up with a couple backup singers and suddenly everyone is ready for a big band battle…” Sunset looked up into the cafeteria. “…or maybe everyone just wants to punch each other.” She looked down. “Then again, I think this green smoke is magic…”

Pinkie suddenly stood up and inhaled a large volume of air.

“Whoa there, Pinkie,” Sunset said. “Save some oxygen for the rest of us.”

The other girls present giggled to themselves at Sunset’s comment.

Pinkie suddenly banged her fists on the table causing the other girls to jump slightly and Fluttershy to utter an audible “Meep…” again.

“I KNOW WHAT I MUST DO!” Pinkie declared. With that she quickly sprinted away from the table.

Sunset frowned as she watched Pinkie sprint off. “Should we be worried that she just did that?” she asked as she pointed after Pinkie with a thumb.

Applejack shrugged. “You know Pinkie, always runnin’ off somewhere. She’s got more energy than a bucking bronco during mating season.”

Sunset furrowed her brow. “Wow, lewd…”

“Ah mean,” Applejack continued, “she’s more confused than cow in a pig-pen.”

Sunset raised an eyebrow. “Is that a thing that actually happens, or—”

“What Ah’m sayin’ is, Pinkie is more mixed up then a crate of fizzy-apple cider that’s been transported in the Apple family jalopy.”

Sunset sighed. “Yeah, I think I get—”

Applejack suddenly leaned closer to Sunset Shimmer, placing her face a mere inch away from hers. “Pinkie’s a few chicken eggs shy of a full dozen, a few squirts of milk shy of a full bucket, a…”

Sunset leaned back in her chair and looked at Rarity as Applejack continued to make similes. She placed a hand in-between her own mouth and Applejack, muffling her voice as she whispered, “Do you think Applejack gets we all know she’s from a farm?”

Rarity turned and shushed Sunset slightly. “Shhh… Don’t take this from her… this and apples is all she’s got!”

Sunset frowned. “God, that’s sad…”

‘THUD!’

Everyone turned as the double doors to the cafeteria suddenly flew open. Pinkie Pie stood there, a massive grin on her face.

“HEY EVERYBODY!” Pinkie cried. “I present a very special message from yours truly, Pinkie Pie!”

“Well… this won’t end well…” Sunset uttered.

Without further fanfare or ado, Pinkie broke into song.

“When you’re looking through your closet,

here’s a fact you just may posit.

There’s no need to pick out clothes that are discrete!

Why don’t you pick a color that’s really neat?

There’s no need to cause a stink!

Just show up to school wearing pink!”

“Hey, Sunset,” Rainbow Dash asked as she looked across the table, “how come you didn’t grab any lunch?”

Sunset smirked. “I feasted upon the soul of an innocent bunny for lunch.”

Without warning, Fluttershy’s eyes rolled towards the back of her head as her face fell forward onto her empty plate with a ‘clink!’

The group turned to look at Fluttershy as Pinkie’s song continued, then turned to shoot a collective scowl at Sunset Shimmer.

“So here’s some food for thought:”

“Stop worrying about what clothes are hot.”

“Don’t waste time in the morning having to think.

“Just show up to school wearing pink!”

Sunset folded her arms across her chest and narrowed her eyes slightly. “I’m just going to assume its Fluttershy’s poor choice of diet that made her do that.”

-o~The next day~o-

Sunset Shimmer walked down the sidewalk towards the massive three story building that was Canterlot High. She wore her typical outfit composed of a magenta top with a large red-and-yellow sun emblazoned on the front, black leather jacket, orange skirt with one magenta and one yellow stripe going down the side, and black boots with a purple flame motif on the front. Additionally, she wore a large pair of black sunglasses, something she was thankful for as she looked over the students of Canterlot High as she approached.

Sunset sighed heavily and smacked a palm against her face as she witnessed student after student decked head to toe in pink clothing. “Seriously…” she muttered to herself as she let her hand fall to her side and she scowled out at the campus full of bustling students wearing pink, “… one stupid song is all it takes and everyone swaps out of whatever stupid thing they wear everyday…”

Sunset grumpily continued moving towards the school, her brisk walk having suddenly turned to more of a trudge as the bottom of her boots scraped the concrete with each step.

She made it as far as the large white statue of a horse in front of the school. The base of which sporting a number of mirrors, one of which being the portal to Equestria that opened about every two and a half years.

“HEY IT’S SUNSET SHIMMER!” a voice called out in a rather aggressive tone.

Sunset froze in place as her name was scornfully called out. She looked out the campus grounds as scores of students suddenly stopped what they were doing and stared at her, quickly followed by each person walking towards her. Soon she was trapped between the large statue and a half circle of high schoolers.

Sunset swallowed as she looked at all the angry faces belonging to students of Canterlot High, each person decked out head to toe in pink clothing. “Uh… Hey, everybody…” Sunset greeted nervously as she pressed her back against the base of the large white statue. “Look, if this is about the whole turning into a demon thing and mind controlling everyone to march on my home world, I’m really sorry about—”

“SHE’S NOT WEARING PINK!” a female voice cried angrily from the mob.

“WHAT?!” Sunset cried. “That’s why you’ve all surrounded me?! Because I didn’t listen to Pinkie’s ridiculous song she made up in like 10 seconds and decided to wear what I always wear?!”

“LET’S TEACH HER A LESSON ABOUT TRYING TO BE DIFFERENT!” a male voice cried.

“Oh, come on!” Sunset exclaimed. “Can’t I just borrow a couple hair bows, or something? Or maybe get by with ‘you’re not wearing the right color’ pinches? I just dressed like I always dress…”

“LET’S CHEW PINK BUBBLE GUM THEN RUB IT IN HER HAIR!” another male voice cried.

“What?!” Sunset cried.  She glanced up at her hair, conveying a sense of fright on her face despite wearing sunglasses. “Oh please don’t put gum in my hair!” Sunset said in a pleading tone. “Do you have any idea how long it takes me to get my hair to look like this every morning?”

“I’VE GOT SOME GUM!” a female voice called out.

“ME TOO!” another female voice added.

Sunset pursed her lips into a tight grimace as several students produced small boxes of chewing gum and began passing them around. She desperately scanned the mass of pink for someone, anyone who might at least try to help her.

Her eyes fell upon a stout boy with a pink t-shirt adorned with a pair of scissors, and a skinnier, taller boy in a pink sweater with a pink-and-purple snail on the front.

“SNIP, SNAILS,” Sunset cried, “DON’T DO THIS! THINK OF ALL THE GOOD TIMES WE’VE HAD TOGETHER, LIKE THE TIME WE…” Sunset paused and stared up briefly, tapping an index finger against her cheek as she dwelled on this. “Uh… the good times we’ve had escaped me right now, BUT THINK OF ALL THE GOOD TIMES WE WILL HAVE!”

“Shun the nonbeliever!” Snips cried.

“Yeah, shun!” Snails added.

“Shuuuuun!”

“Shuuuuuuun!”

Sunset glared angrily at the pair. “Catch me forcing you two into doing my dirty work, again!” she snapped angrily.

“GET HER!” a male voice called out.

The crowd began approaching Sunset, many students with wads of chewed bubblegum in their hands.

“NO WAIT!” Sunset cried. “I’M SORRY I DIDN’T WEAR PINK TODAY! I CAN CHANGE… MY CLOTHES! THAT’LL BE WAY EASIER THAN CHANGING MY ATTITUDE OR TREATING YOU CONTEMPTIBLE LOT OF CONFORMISTS BETTER THAN YOU ACTUALLY DESERVE! AAAAAHHHH!” Sunset threw her hands into the air as the mob descended on her, pulling her down into the pink mass.

Sunset struggled as best she could, but quickly found there was very little she could do against a several dozen high schoolers who were all set on shoving gum into her hair. Soon the mob’s sticky, saliva covered task was done and they parted, leaving Sunset on her knees, her hair a mess of pink globs and frazzled looking red-and-yellow locks. Sunset’s sunglasses hung at a diagonal angle across her face, the pair having been knocked around a bit in the struggle, and tears poured from her aquamarineeyes.

“Sniff… hhhehhh…. But I… just wore what I always wore!” she cried out.

“Sunset!”

“You okay, pardner?”

Sunset turned as she heard Rainbow Dash and Applejack call out for her. The two approached, Fluttershy close behind. Sunset noted each also wore what they usually wore and looked no worse for wear.

“Wait! Seriously?!” Sunset cried as she rose to her feet, her sorrowful look giving way to an irritated one as she readjusted her sunglasses. “I’m the only one who got attacked this morning?!”

“What in tarnation are you talking about?” Applejack asked.

“I just got mobbed for not wearing pink!” Sunset cried. She pointed accusingly at the other girls. “None of you got assaulted!”

Fluttershy looked at her outfit briefly then looked up. “Well, I erm… uh… I already wear a little pink…” she said as she motioned to the butterflies on her green skirt.

“Emphasis on ‘little’!” Sunset cried angrily as she flung her hands up in the air.

Fluttershy looked at Sunset with slightly frightened look as she took a step back from her.

Sunset continued, “Just about everyone else at school looks like they’re trying to find acceptance with a flock of flamingos and you and Dash apparently got missed for having a few splashes of pink here or there! And, hey! Applejack doesn’t wear any pink! How come she got missed?”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Rainbow Dash said. “I think you’re taking this a little too hard!”

“I JUST GOT MOBBED FOR NOT WEARING A CERTAIN COLOR AND HAD GUM STUCK IN MY HAIR!” Sunset cried as she pointed to her hair with both hands. “I CAN TAKE IT AS HARD AS I WANT!”

There was a very brief silence as the other three girls stared at Sunset.

“Uhhh… phrasing?” Fluttershy said in a somewhat unsure tone.

Rainbow Dash and Applejack immediately doubled over into hysterical fits of laughter as Fluttershy tittered to herself quietly, but proudly.

Sunset raised both her palms over her face. “I seriously hate you guys so much,” she uttered.

“Hello everyone!” The group heard Rarity call out. “How are you all this fine morning?”

“Hey, Rarity!” Rainbow Dash said as she turned and waved.

“Heya, Rarity!” Applejack called.

“Good morning, Rarity,” Fluttershy said.

“Uuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhggggggggaaaaaaaaa!” Sunset Shimmer groaned as she looked over Rarity’s outfit.

Rarity wore a strapless, frilly dress that hugged her torso tightly as the skirt went from pink, to light pink, and finally to a pinkish white. A pink ribbon adorned the front just under Rarity’s décolletage with a much larger ribbon tied in her hair as well as behind the dress. Finally, pink forearm bands, pink boots with pink ribbons, and a large, frilly pink parasol completed the outfit.

“Sunset, darling! Whatever happened?!” Rarity cried.

Sunset momentarily put aside her disgust at Rarity’s outfit and glanced at her own hair. She sighed heavily as she answered, “A mob stuck bubblegum in my hair because I decided to show up to school in my regular set of clothes.”

“That’s what I meant, dear!” Rarity said. “How could you even think to show up to school without wearing pink? You know pink is in this season… or today at least.”

Sunset scowled at Rarity. “You know the messed up thing about this situation is if I stabbed you right now, I’d go to jail!”

“Don’t get snippy with me!” Rarity said as she motioned to her outfit. “I actually thought to wear pink!”

“That’s another thing!” Sunset cried. “You’re somehow wearing more pink than anyone else I’ve seen today! And that’s with the entire school looking like an aisle of girl toys?! It’s not like there’s some sort ‘who has the most pink on’ contest going on today!”

Rarity folded her arms across her chest. “Well if there is, I guess we know who’s winning, ‘Ms. Didn’t Wear Pink Today.’”

Sunset shot an irritated look up towards the sky and held out open palms. “Look at all the fu—”

 “HEEEEEEY YOU GUYS!”

The group turned as Pinkie bounded up, each one saying a greeting with the exception of Sunset.

“UuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhggggggggaAAAAAAAA!”

Rarity’s happy expression suddenly gave way to a grumpy one as Pinkie approached. Pinkie also wore the same pink bow-covered ensemble complete with parasol that Rarity was.

Pinkie giggled. “Hehehe… We’re twins!”

Rarity seemed far less amused. “Well one of us is going to have to change!”

“Would it help if I put on a purple eyepatch?” Pinkie asked.

“What would that help?” Sunset asked.

Pinkie turned towards Sunset. “Well, it would make the reference the outfit is making much more overt and—” Pinkie suddenly gasped as she stared at Sunset’s hair. “IS THAT GUM IN YOUR HAIR?!”

Sunset glared at Pinkie angrily. “Yeah! Thanks to your stupid song I got mobbed for not wearing pink!”

“Imma chew it!” Pinkie declared.

Sunset narrowed her eyes. “Don’t you do it!”

“Imma do it!”

“Don’t you do it!”

Pinkie suddenly threw her parasol away and pounced on Sunset.

“DANG IT!” Sunset cried as Pinkie wrestled her to the grass next to the school’s walkway.

Pinkie placed her mouth over the wad of gum on Sunset’s head and began frantically biting it with an audible “OM NOM NOM…”

“STOP THAT!” Sunset cried. “I’LL BREAK OUT MY WRESTLING MOVES! DON’T THINK I WON’T!”

“OH MY GOSH!” Pinkie exclaimed as she lifted her head. “You guys have to taste Sunset’s hair! It’s like some sort of wonderful bubble gum mixed with strawberry lemonade flavor!”

“GIRLS! HELP!” Sunset cried.

Rarity shook her head. “I spent all morning getting my make-up and outfit right! I’m not about to mess it up by roughhousing!”

Fluttershy looked down at the two struggling girls with a slightly frightened look. “Yeah…uh… sorry… but… no…”

“The NON-stereotypical girls, then!” Sunset cried as she placed her hands on Pinkie’s face and tried to push her off. “HELP!”

Rainbow Dash looked down at the two girls on the ground below her, then over to Applejack. “Give ya two-to-one Pinkie eats all of Sunset’s hair,” she said as she produced a ten dollar bill.

“I like them odds!” Applejack cried as she swung a fist in front of her chest.

“YOU GUYS… HATE YOU GUYS!” Sunset cried as she continued to struggle against Pinkie.

Pinkie brought her head up out of the tangle of gum and hair to ask, “Does anyone have any whipped cream on them?”

“I’ll get some!” Rainbow Dash declared.

“Hey! That’s cheatin’!” Applejack cried.

“Oh wait!” Pinkie said as she giggled to herself and reached into her mop of pink curls. She pulled out a spray can with a white nozzle at the end. “I have some.”

“OH, that is it!” Sunset cried as she grabbed Pinkie’s sides and suddenly shifted her weight.

“EEK!” Pinkie cried she found herself on the ground.

Sunset quickly forced Pinkie onto her back and sat on top of her. Her knees straddling either side of Pinkie’s torso.

“YEEEE-HAAAA!” Applejack cried. “Go Sunset, go!”

“Come on, Pinkie!” Rainbow Dash cried.

Sunset smiled to herself as she held onto Pinkie’s left arm firmly in both her own arms and began to bend it at an unnatural looking angle.  “I got you! I—”

“SECOND WIND!” Pinkie cried as she suddenly squirmed out from under Sunset.

“HEY!” Sunset cried. “You slippery-AH!” Sunset cried as Pinkie somehow tackled her from behind.  “How the fu—STOP EATING MY HAIR!”

“NEFFER!” Pinkie cried through a mouthful of gum-covered hair.

“GIRLS!” A commanding, female voice called out. “What the heck is going on here?!”

Everyone stopped and looked up as Vice-Principal Luna approached.

Sunset uttered a relieved sigh as Pinkie stopped chewing on her hair. “Oh thank Go—” Sunset’s relieved sigh was soon followed by an exasperated one as Luna came closer. “You’ve got to be kidding me!”

Luna’s usual purple blouse had been replaced with a pink one. Similarly she wore a pink skirt instead of her dark-blue one.

“Uh… just a friendly bet about eating hair,” Rainbow Dash said with a slightly nervous expression.

Luna scowled down at the two girls on the ground, their limbs seemingly tangled with one another as evidenced by the struggling with each other they had been doing just moments ago. Pinkie grinned, a large grin that might look like a look of guilt on anyone else, but was fairly typical of the smiles Pinkie gave out on a daily basis. Sunset, on the other hand, looked up at Luna with a somewhat pleading look.

“Oh, I see,” Luna said, her expression softening. “Well I suppose if an official bet and change of money is involved, then you may all proceed.”

Sunset protested, “OH, WHAT THE FU—”

“YAY!” Pinkie cried before she lowered her face back down into the tangled mass of red-and-yellow hair covered in bubble gum. “OM-NOM-NOM!”

“I HATE THIS SCHOOL SO MUCH!” Sunset said as she continued to struggle against Pinkie.

Chapter 3: Rainbow Dash’s Song

Cafeteria ControllingChapter 3: Rainbow Dash’s Song-ooooooo-

Still sporting the odd stain here or there from apple and bakery mush, Sunset Shimmer stormed over to her usual table and set her tray down in front of her as she sat down. All her other friends had already arrived and she quickly scanned over them, paying close attention to Fluttershy’s meal. Instead of celery her main course appeared to be an apple with a side of applesauce and an apple juice box.

“Alright,” Sunset said, “well before I force at least one other food group down Fluttershy’s throat—”

Fluttershy gave a little frightened “Meep…”

“—and before I talk about the new danger befalling our school,” Sunset turned and faced Applejack, “I’d like to calmly discuss why the heck I got attacked with apples and apple products this morning!”

Applejack’s eyes went wide and she turned and gave Sunset a somewhat pleading expression. “Ah had to do it! Ah just had to! My poor family would starve if apple sales dropped!”

Sunset sighed and shook her head. “Applejack, your family owns more land than anyone else at the school. Your orchard supplies every apple served in school, probably in the town, and many places both national and international. Your family employs dozens of workers. Your family even had that ridiculous farm-themed house built near town so you could be closer to school!” Sunset narrowed her eyes. “Your family may be the richest in the entire city. You did not need to sing a little ditty encouraging the entire school body to eat apples to keep your business in the black.”

“Wait a minute…” Pinkie said tapping an index finger against her cheek. “If Applejack’s family has so much money, how come her grandma works at the school?”

Sunset rolled her eyes. “Because she wanted something to do during the day and cafeteria work was easier than farm work and she makes a killing ordering all the apple stuff from her own farm”—Sunset turned her head towards Applejack— “already!” she stressed. She shook her head. “I mean… How much money do you need, A.J.?”

Applejack folded her arms over her chest and gave Sunset a sullen look. “BMWs don’t jus’ pay fer themselves, you know?”

“Whatever!” Sunset cried. “I don’t know how much wearing pink and sustaining myself on apples and apple-themed pastries is going to keep me going! Not to mention that daily abuses thanks to the latest transfer-from-another-world students!  Someone has to do something!” Sunset paused and added. “… On that note those three new students are evil and from Equestria.”

Sunset’s friends gasped.

“What do we do?” Fluttershy asked.

Sunset shrugged. “We could probably just beat them up! We outnumber them two to one.”

Fluttershy began squeaking out something incomprehensible as she slowly lowered herself in her chair in an attempt to get smaller.

Sunset rolled her eyes. “Almost two to one…” She turned and scowled at Rarity. “Unless the other girly-girl can’t be bothered to get her hands dirty either!”

Rarity smirked and cracked her knuckles. “Are you kidding? Those three are an eyesore! It looks like they escaped from the 80s after stealing the clothes from glam rock band!”

Sunset chuckled. “Geez! I know, right?! You’d think if they were going to pick a musical theme, they’d settle on something that doesn’t require enough hairspray that the three of them are an environmental hazard!”

Sunset and Rarity giggled to themselves, and even Pinkie, Fluttershy and Applejack joined in the soft laughter.

With a rather distant look on her face, Rainbow Dash sighed and muttered, “If only Twilight was here.”

Sunset turned and gave Rainbow Dash a surprised look. “What?! There’s more of us! We should totally just mop the floor with those three! Purple pony princess probably doesn’t even know we have a problem!”

Pinkie clapped. “Oh! That was five ‘p’ words!” she exclaimed before reaching into her hair. “You get a gold star!” she said as she placed a gold star sticker on Sunset’s chest.

Sunset looked down at the star, then up at Pinkie. “Thank you,” she said with an earnest smile.

“Anytime!” Pinkie said.

“No, not that!” Rainbow Dash said. “Being lead singer is cool and all, but I wanna concentrate on my guitar work…”

Sunset went back to glaring at Rainbow Dash. “What?”

“So I need Twilight,” Rainbow said. “Or at least someone who sounds just like her when she sings!”

“GrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”

“GAHK!”

Sunset suddenly closed her eyes began chanting “Find your center… Find your center…” She opened her eyes and smiled. “Gee, Rarity! Maybe you’re right about meditating at lunchtime! I’ve reached a Zen-like state where I feel my anger and stress just drift away…”

“HHGGGKKK! GGGGCHCHCHC!”

“You’re choking Rainbow Dash, dear,” Rarity replied.

“Just… drift away!” Sunset said through gritted teeth as her lips opened into a mad grin.

Rainbow Dash struggled to get Sunset’s hands off her neck.

“Hey, A.J.~!” Pinkie sang out. “I betcha ten dollars Rainbow Dash escapes!”

“Yer on!” Applejack said.

“For goodness sakes, you two!” Rarity cried. “Sunset might kill her!”

Sunset looked at Pinkie with a mad grin. “I’ll let go for five.”

“Deal!” Pinkie said.

Sunset let go of Rainbow Dash who collapsed to the table and began taking long, deep breaths as she rubbed her neck.

“Ah, shucks…” Applejack said as she reached into her pockets.

Rainbow Dash shot a glare up at Applejack.

“Er… Ah mean… Glad you’re okay, Rainbow…”

Fluttershy looked over at Sunset with a slightly nervous expression. “Erm… Umm… Isn’t fighting exactly what those new girls want us to do?”

“Shoot, you’re right,” Sunset said. “Guess we should at least deal with those three crazy Equestria girls before we tear ourselves apart.”

Pinkie giggled. “Sunset! We’re all Equestria Girls!”

“What?” Sunset said as she cocked an eyebrow. “Pinkie, that doesn’t make sense.”

“Whatever!” Rainbow Dash cried as she pushed herself away from the table. “I’m going to get some air!”

Sunset chuckled to herself. “I thought you got some when I let go.”

Rainbow turned and pointed to her eyes with an index and middle finger, then turned her hand around at Sunset.

Sunset just smirked. A smirk that quickly vanished when she noticed everyone else at the table was glaring at her. “What?”

Applejack sighed and shook her head. “Ah know Rainbow has a bad habit of getting’ under people’s skin, but don’tcha think stanglin’ her was a bit much?”

“WHAT?!” Sunset cried. “You bet against her getting out of my grip!”

Applejack frowned. “Yeah… but still…”

“It did seem a bit extreme…” Fluttershy said.

Sunset turned towards Fluttershy. “As extreme as me taping a funnel to your mouth and forcing you to eat oatmeal?!”

Fluttershy returned to squeaking incomprehensibly.

Everyone continued to glare at Sunset.

“FINE!” Sunset said. “I’ll apologize to Dash when I see her next! But Fluttershy has to start eating meals with some real protein in them!”

Applejack, Rarity, and Pinkie smiled.

“I don’t see anything wrong with that,” Pinkie said.

Rarity nodded. “That sounds like a splendid compromise… Especially since I don’t have to do anything!”

Applejack nodded. “A good idea if ever there was one!”

Fluttershy turned her head from side to side looking at her friends. “But I didn’t agree to…”

“TOO LATE!” Sunset cried with a smile. “Majority rules!”

Fluttershy puffed out her lower lip and stared out into open space. “Oh… okay then…”

‘SLAM!’

The doors to the cafeteria swung open and Rainbow Dash walked in, her guitar slung across her chest and a soccer ball at her feet.

Sunset brought a palm up to her face. “Oh sweet Lord, no…”

Rainbow Dash began to shred on guitar, rapidly plucking her fingers against the strings causing notes to erupt from the instrument in rapid succession.

Sunset Shimmer stared intently at Rainbow Dash. “Hey girls, don’t electric guitars need amps or something to—”

Rainbow suddenly stopped playing her guitar. She juggled the soccer ball with her feet briefly then kicked it straight up a few feet, catching it in a hand. “SPORTS!” Rainbow Dash cried as she lobbed the soccer ball into the cafeteria.

“WHAT?!” Sunset cried. “That wasn’t even a sen—WHA!” Sunset barely had time to cry out in alarm as the soccer ball Rainbow Dash threw collided with her face with a loud ‘SMACK!’ She fell out of her chair and onto the cafeteria floor.

“HEY!” Pinkie protested.

“Rainbow, darling,” Rarity began, “I know Sunset crossed a line earlier, but you shouldn’t follow bad behavior with more bad behavior!”

“That’s right!” Pinkie agreed. “Soccer balls are for kicking, not throwing!”

From the cafeteria floor, Sunset moaned. “Uhhhhhhh… Hate you guys so much…”

-ooooooo-

“OH, COME ON!” Sunset exclaimed as she found herself in the all too familiar position of having CHS’s huge horse statue behind her and a semi-circle of her schoolmates in front of her. “I’m wearing pink! I’m eating an apple! What more do you want from… Are you all holding sports equipment?!”

Sunset looked over the crowd in front of her. Many were holding balls or something used to hit them with. Most were wearing cleats,and some were even wearing helmets, pads, or other protective gear.

“SHE DOESN’T HAVE ANYTHING SPORTS-RELATED!” Snips cried as he stepped forward from the crowd wearing a football helmet, football pads, and brandishing a cricket bat.  He pointed accusingly at Sunset.

“Snips, what the heck is up with your outfit?!” Sunset cried. “You look like an extra from the Road Warrior!”

“Yeah!” Snails said, he was wearing golf cleats, boxing gloves, a bike helmet, and held a lacrosse stick in one hand. “Let’s teach her a lesson!”

Sunset sighed. “Snails… You just look like you’re trying way too hard…”

“LET’S THROW SPORTS AT HER!” someone from the crowd yelled.

“Okay… just… what?” Sunset said. “That doesn’t make sense! You can’t just throw the concept of sports at me… Now if you said ‘sports balls’ or…”

“LET’S THROW SPORTS BALLS AT HER!”

Sunset frowned. “Speaking of balls, I’ll just huddle up into one now…” True to her word, Sunset got on the ground and hugged her knees as the students started hurling balls of all sorts and sizes at her.

“Ow… ow… ow… FRICKIN’ OW!” Sunset cried. “WHO CARRIES AROUND A MEDICINE BALL?!”

Soon the crowd parted, leaving Sunset huddled on the ground in the fetal position surrounded by a number of balls from all kinds of different sports.

Sunset uncurled and woozily stood to her feet, steadying herself on the statue next to her. “SHE ONLY SAID ONE WORD, YOU… you… YOU FRICKIN’ CONFORMISTS!” Sunset’s lower lip began to quiver as she rubbed her hands over her bruised and battered body. Tears began to stream down her cheeks “Snifff… She only said one word… How was I supposed to know…?”

“Awww… Doesn’t that just break your heart, girls?”

Sunset let out a groan as she heard Adagio’s mocking voice.

“It’s a pretty sorry sight, alright…” Aria said with a smirk on her face.

“For reales, right?” Sonata said with a nod as she gave Sunset a concerned look. “This is like the third day of her being attacked! It’s just so sad!”

Adagio facepalmed. “Sonata… Just… Can’t you just settle for giggling darkly to yourself, or something?”

“What?” Sonata said as she looked back and forth between Adagio and Aria. “I was doing what you two were doing!”

“Your tone was all wrong!” Aria cried. “You didn’t sound sarcastic!”

“Oooooh!” Sonata said. “Is that what we were doing?”

“You are just so dumb!” Aria cried. “Why would we suddenly start being nice to Sunset?!”

“She just looks so huggable!” Sonata replied.

Sunset wiped her jacket sleeve under her nose to wipe away the snot that had begun to trickle down her nose as she whimpered.

Adagio and Aria looked at Sunset, then exchanged a quick smirk.

“Oh, clearly,” Adagio said.

“Shut up!” Sunset cried. “Look! I told my friends about you and the six… five of us are going to clean you girl’s clocks!”

“Oh no!” Sonata cried. “We forgot to dust our clocks!”

Aria pupils dilated and she simply stared off into space as her shoulders slumped.

Adagio glanced at Sonata, then gave Sunset a smug smile. “If you told them, why didn’t you all try to do something yesterday?”

“I er… okay so maybe I forgot to rally them yesterday…” Sunset said sheepishly. “But soon!”

Adagio continued to smile smugly at Sunset. “I’m sure…”

“HEY! I had a soccer ball thrown right into my face that knocked me onto the hard cafeteria floor!” Sunset cried. “Taking out you three dropped in priority once ‘get treated for concussion’ became my number one focus!”

“Wait,” Sonata said, “someone threw a soccer ball at you?! That’s horrible!”

“No kidding!” Sunset cried. “It was just lobbed right in my face!”

“Soccer balls are for kicking!” Sonata said.

Sunset’s jaw unhinged as she her eyes filled with rage.

“You know… Unless it was the goalie…”  Sonata added.

Aria turned with an expression that usually signified she was about to berate Sonata, however it softened as she noticed Sunset’s expression. “You know what? I’m just going to let you have this one…”

“THAT IS IT!” Sunset declared angrily.

The three girls looks surprised for a beat, but quickly returned to smiling at Sunset with smug expressions.

“Awww… Is the little baby going to cry?” Adagio said while mockingly rubbing her eyes.

“You shut your damn whore mouth!” Sunset cried as she leveled an angry index finger and stormed up to Adagio.

The three girls all took a half step back as Sunset shot them all a furious expression.

“Listen you hair metal rejects! I used to rule this school with an iron fist! Everyone here lived in mortal fear over the idea that Sunset Shimmer would destroy their reputations and let out their most closely guarded secrets if they so much as looked at me the wrong way! I turned people into laughing stocks for the pettiest reasons with only a couple of morons to help me! Now I have five semi-sane girls on my side!

“Now, for some stupid reason I’m still trying to be good here, so I’ll give you all one last chance.” Sunset’s expression softened slightly. “Stop with the magic music nonsense or I’ll show you three just how truly awful high school can be! I’ll make you three look so bad you won’t be able to step one foot onto the school without being ridiculed! Not even your stupid songs will save you!”

Adagio slowly lowered her eyelids to match Sunsets scowl and pushed Sunset’s finger out of her face. “What makes you think you can find something to humiliate us with?”

“Because you three are idiots,” Sunset answered. “I bet you can’t even walk away from this conversation without embarrassing yourselves.”

Adagio looked back towards Sonata who shrugged and Aria who merely narrowed her eyes. She turned back to Sunset. “Do your worst! We’re not going to be intimidated by a girl with bacon hair!”

Sunset gritted her teeth. “Oh…

…it …”

…is …”

…ON!”

As the three walked away, Sonata slipped on a ball and reached out for Aria, who in turn reached out for Adagio as the three quickly fell to the ground in a heap of limbs, hair, and gaudy accessories.

Sunset quickly reached into her coat, pulled out her cell phone, and in a flash of fingers, began recording the three girls as the flailed amongst each other and cursed each other loudly.

Sunset smirked. “Let the games begin…”

Chapter 4: Fluttershy’s Song

Cafeteria ControllingChapter 4: Fluttershy’s Song-ooooooo-

Sunset Shimmer marched through the cafeteria with a tray in each hand. One held a hamburger, an apple, some fries and a juice box, while the other was simply covered in baked beans. She made her way to the table where her friends already sat, focusing on Fluttershy’s tray as she walked up with a determined look on her face. Sunset placed the tray full of baked beans on the table. She slid it in front of Fluttershy, pushing her tray of uneaten apples to the middle.

Fluttershy looked down at the beans then up at Sunset. “But I’m not hung--”

“EAT IT!” Sunset cried as she held up a spoon. “I SWEAR IF YOU DON’T EAT THOSE BEANS, I WILL SIT ON YOUR LAP AND FEED YOU THE ENTIRE TRAY SPOONFUL BY SPOONFUL!”

Fluttershy gulped and looked at the other girls at the table. “Uh… Girls?”

Rarity looked at the tray of beans, then down at her dress. “Sorry, dear. Looks like it might get messy if I try to stop Sunset.”

Applejack smiled. “And Sunset gave me two whole dollars this mornin’ to not get involved!”

“And I kinda wanna see Sunset sit on your lap!” Rainbow Dash said with a grin.

Pinkie giggled. “Hehe… Me too! It’ll just be like last week when I sat on Ol’ St. Giver’s lap!”

The girls looked at each other, then turned back to Pinkie.

“Pinkie,” Sunset said, “there is just so much wrong with what you just said, I’ll take it from the top. For starters… it’s March… so there’s no way you went to the mall or whatever to sit on St. Giver’s lap!”

“Well of course it wasn’t the mall, silly!” Pinkie said. “It was at the park…”

The girls exchanged another glance, this one a bit more concerned.

“Uh, Pinkie darling…” Rarity said. “Did St. Giver smell like… uh… what’s a polite way to say this?”

Applejack raised an eyebrow. “Malt liquor and a month’s worth of sweat?”

“Yes, that!” Rarity said as she pointed at Applejack

Pinkie nodded her head up and down vigorously. “Yep! He must have been workingextra,super hard on his list of good and bad children! It looked like he hadn’t changed his clothes or showered in a looooong time!”

“Uh Pinkie,” Rainbow Dash said. “I don’t think that guy was St. Giver…”

“It wasn’t?” Pinkie asked. She raised a hand up to her chin and rubbed it contemplatively as she stared off into space. “Then who was the bearded guy I fed beans to while sitting on his lap?”

The other girls went quiet and simply stared at Pinkie.

“Moving right along….” Sunset said. She tossed a glance at Fluttershy who simply pushed her beans back and forth across her tray with a spoon. “Fluttershy, eat your damn beans or its duct-tape and a funnel time!”

Fluttershy made a distressed “Meep…” and raised a spoonful to her mouth. She clamped her lips and teeth over it and held the contents in her mouth as she took the spoon out.

“Well?!” Sunset cried.

Fluttershy swallowed and began to tear up. “Er… it’s… good…”

Sunset nodded. “Good! Keep eating, or I will force the contents of that tray down your throat.” Satisfied, Sunset walked to the other side of the table and sat between Rarity and Applejack, setting her tray down in front of her. “Anyhow now that that’s been addressed, it’s time to talk about one of my favorite topics… Utterly obliterating people I hate.” Sunset said,  gritting her teeth on the word ‘hate’ as her voice dropped a couple octaves.

“Sunset, dear!” Rarity cried. “Whatever has gotten into you?!”

“What’s gotten into me?! What’s gotten into me?! I spent this morning being relentlessly ball-pounded!”

Fluttershy swallowed the food in her mouth and gave Sunset a frightful look. “Uh… phrase—”

“YOU JUST KEEP FEEDING YOURSELF OR I’LL DO IT FOR YOU!” Sunset shouted.

“Eeeep!” Fluttershy exclaimed before she quickly shoveled a couple more spoonfuls of beans into her mouth.

“Look,” Sunset said as she pushed her tray towards the center of the table. She interlaced her fingers together and rested her elbows on the table,.“I’ve spent every morning being assaulted because of Tweedle Dum, Tweedle Dumber, and Tweedle-needs-written-instructions-reminding-her-to-breathe and also stupid songs…” Sunset shot an angry glance at Applejack and then Rainbow Dash. “Two of which were barely songs, I might add!

Pinkie gasped. “Wait! So that means the mirror leads to Dunderland?!”

Sunset sighed and raised a hand up to her forehead. “Can someone give something to distract Pinkie so we can get through this conversation?”

The other girls leaned down and began rummaging through their book bags.

Rarity held up a bright green button. “I have a button that doesn’t match anything.”

“Ah have a tiny ball of lint,” Applejack said.

Rainbow Dash held up a small white object with some faint red swirls on it. “I have an unwrapped and partially sucked on peppermint candy with a black hair stuck to it…” She frowned. “Wait… Who do I know with black hair?”

Fluttershy held up what looked like a tiny, mangled carrot. “I have a heavily chewed hamster toy.”

Pinkie exhaled as she looked over the items. “I will combine them into Mini-Mega-Garbage-Zord!”

The four girls handed over their items to Pinkie, who began gleefully arranging them on her hand.

“Anyhow,” Sunset continued, “since I’ve accepted stupid almost-songs are inevitable, we need to do something about those three 80s escapees.”

“You still wanna kick their teeth in?” Rainbow Dash asked as she cracked her knuckles.

“Well… yeah,” Sunset said, “but I also figured out a way we could destroy them emotionally and mentally as well.”

Applejack frowned. “That’s all fine and good and all… but I kinda like the idea of destroying them physically.”

“Come on, A.J.!” Sunset said as she threw out her hands. “Think about high school! Think about all the crud we’ve had to deal with! These three have strolled in here and everybody just loves them? How is that fair?! All we need to do is get a few videos of them being stupid, or evil, or both, and I’ll make a video, then blamo!” Sunset threw her hands up into the air. “They’re hated and ridiculed by everyone at school!”

“Good heavens!” Rarity said. “You want to go back to your evil, backstabbing ways!”

Sunset folded her arms across her chest and placed her boots on the table, crossing her feet. She nodded. “Pretty much, yeah.”

A wicked grin began to spread from the center of Rarity’s face out to each end. “I’m in! Let’s utterly ruin the smug look on those three’s faces.”

“Me too!” Pinkie exclaimed as she looked up from her assortment of tiny items on her hand that were now arranged in a vaguely humanoid shape. “What did I just agree to?”

Rainbow Dash shrugged. “Eh, guess it would be nice for those three to get a dose of painful reality…”

“I’m in too!”

The group turned and collectively gave Fluttershy a surprised look.

“Whoa, really?” Rainbow Dash asked. “I’m kinda surprised you’d even agree to be in the same room as them, let alone hide and take a few embarrassing videos.”

Fluttershy stood up and slid her almost empty tray towards the center of the table. “Now that I’ve seen Sunset’s attitude and eaten something filling… I know what I must do!”

“Yes!” Sunset cried. “Way to go, Fluttershy!”

“I must conquer my stage fright!”

“Yea…” Sunset trailed off and was quiet for a beat. “… What?”

“Oh, I’m terribly frightened of performing in front of people!” Fluttershy said.

Sunset stared at Fluttershy with a blank expression. “But you’ve been practicing to be in a band! You… you performed a choreographed musical number in the cafeteria with Twilight and everyone else a few months ago!”

“Well those are different…” Fluttershy said. “Because… because reasons…”

“Okay…” Sunset said trailing off. “Well, what does that do with helping us spy on Adagio and cronies?”

“Adagio?!” Pinkie exclaimed. “I thought we were going after Twe…”

Sunset quickly pulled her straw out of her juice box and handed it to Pinkie. “Oh no! The evil straw-blorg is attacking Trash Town!”

Pinkie gasped. “Mini-Mega-Garbage-Zord assemble!” she declared as she took the straw and began ‘attacking’ the tiny human-shaped mass of garbage on her hand with it.

“Anyways,” Sunset said while looking at Fluttershy, “you were about to explain how your thing-that-made-no-sense pertained to our situation?”

“Well, if I can conquer my fear or performing in front of people, I’m sure I can sneak a few videos.”

“You know what?” Sunset said. “Fine! Do your thing! I’m just not going to question it! As long as we come up with some humiliating material for those three idiots, I don’t even care!”

Fluttershy smiled and gave a slight nod as she stood up from her chair and walked away.

Applejack sighed and shook her head.

“What’s the matter, A.J.?” Pinkie asked.

“Well I guess Ah jus’ don’t like the idea of sneaking around and spying on anyone… Seems dishonest, you know?”

Sunset cocked an eyebrow. “You seemed fine with confronting them with greater numbers and beating the snot out of them yesterday. Heck, I thought if anything you’d all be happy I came up with a non-violent solution.” Sunset paused as a dark smile crossed her face. “Well… at least a solution that doesn't require us to get violent.”

Applejack pulled her lips to the left side of her mouth. “Well shoot, that’s just like a good ol’ fashioned curb stomp!”

Sunset and Rarity lowered their eyelids slightly and exchanged glances then looked back at Applejack.

“A.J.,” Sunset began, “‘curb stomp’ is not a farm nor ‘country’ saying.”

Applejack put on a distressed look. “It’s… it’s not?”

Rarity shook her head. “In fact, it’s quite urban…”

“Oh no!” Applejack cried as she raised her hands to her face. “City life is finally starting to get to me!”

“‘Finally’?” Sunset said as she raised an eyebrow.

“Quick!” Applejack cried. “Someone reinforce my countryness!”

The other girls at the table all looked at each other and shrugged.

Sunset began, “The fact that you wear a cowboy hat all the time is weird, and you’re weird for making a hat a central part of your identity.”

Applejack breathed a sigh of relief. “Thanks Sunset, that really…”

“That outfit is utterly garish,” Rarity commented.  “And it colors are trying way too hard to be… Uh, Sunset, darling… What’s that fake word that sounds like America but made to sound more redneck like…?”

“‘Merica?”

Rarity nodded. “Yes, that’s the one…” Rarity turned back towards Applejack. “‘Merica. ‘Merica with apples.”

Applejack smiles dropped slightly. “Uh… Thanks Rarity…”

Pinkie giggled. “And the way you shoehorn talking about farm work and apple picking into every conversation? I mean… d’uuuuh! We get it! You’re a hick!”

Applejack’s smile disappeared and she elected to stare out into open space. “Uh… Thanks Pinkie… Ah think…”

“Anytime, A.J.!” Pinkie said cheerfully. “Anytime!”

“Eat some apples, dearie,” Rarity said. “You’ll feel much better.”

Applejack gave a heavy sigh and reached for the red apple on her tray and took a bite.

‘Crunch.’

Applejack chewed the bit of apple in her mouth and swallowed it. She smiled. “Hey, you’re right!”

‘Creeeeek…’

The group turned as the cafeteria doors slowly opened and Fluttershy timidly stepped out, tambourine in hand. “Uh… Hel… Hello? I’m going to sing now… If that’s okay with all of you, that is…”

“Yeah!” Sunset exclaimed. “Go, Fluttershy!” she cried as she thrust a fist into the air.

“I’m surprised you’re taking this all in stride, dear,” Rarity said to Sunset.

Sunset smirked at her. “I figured something ridiculous like this was bound to happen, so why make a fuss about it?”

Fluttershy’s eyes darted nervously across the expanse of students in the cafeteria. She slowly raised her tambourine into place and hit it with the ball of her free hand. She followed this up by uttering a quick squeak before her eyes rolled back and her head and she collapsed to the floor.

‘Thump!’

There was a beat of silence.

Sunset stood up and thrust a fist into the air. “YEAH!”

The rest of Canterlot high also rose to their feet and began cheering wildly.

-ooooooo-

“Wait! You loved us!”

“Seriously! You idiots where all gaga over us before!”

“For realsies!”

Adagio, Aria, and Sonata all found themselves surrounded by the students of CHS. This had become a somewhat common occurrence, but the angry expressions on the students was new.

The three girls pressed themselves against the base of the large horse statue behind them as the students (a bizarre mix of pink clothes-wearing, apple and baked apple good-holding, sports gear-carrying and animal-accompanied high schoolers) surrounded them.

“They aren’t eating apples!” Snips cried.

“Yeah,” Snails agreed, “or wearing sports stuff!”

“THEY DIDN’T BRING AN ANIMAL!” someone shouted from the crowd.

Adagio looked over the mob in front of her with a panicked expression. “But… but you never cared about those things before!”

“Let’s… uh…” Snips trailed off as he looked over the assortment of items he was carrying including a leash that led to an excited tan Chihuahua. “LET’S GET THEM!”

“Yeah! Get them!” Snails parroted as he waved about his pet snail threateningly.

The girls huddled together as the crowd descended upon them, smashing all manner of apples and apple products against their hair and clothing, prodding them with various sports equipment, and sicking all manner of beast on them.

After a about a minute of complete chaos, the crowd parted, leaving the three girls in a heap of messed up hair, clothing, and bruised and scratched bodies.

Aria groaned. “This place is simply the worst.”

“… For… for… realsies…” Sonata agreed woozily.

“I can’t believe that just happened!” Adagio cried.

“HA! Welcome to my world, jerks!”

As crowd continued to part, it revealed Sunset Shimmer standing amongst it and grinning madly as she watched the violence unfold on the three girls. She wore a magenta baseball cap with her cutie mark on the front and her pink shirt and skirt under her jacket, holding an apple in a hand that was covered with a baseball glove and carrying a small water-filled goblet that contained a yellow-and-red fish in her other hand. There was also a stalk of asparagus in one of her ears.

Adagio glared up at her. “You look ridiculous!”

Sunset grinned down at her. “Ridiculous, but unmarked by violence or food products this morning!”

“Why are you wearing a vegetable?” Sonata asked.

Sunset glanced up at the asparagus that was held in her ear. “I had no idea if Fluttershy squeak would mean vegetables or animals, so I decided to cover my bases.”

Adagio looked at Sunset in disbelief. “How did you know there was even anything to do?!”

“I spent the last three days being thrashed over these stupid song and dance routines! I just figured I better do something if I wanted to get through the morning without being assaulted.”

Aria pointed at the fishbowl. “What the heck is that in your hand, anyway?”

Sonata gasped. “Is that a betta fish?!”

Sunset face lit up as she held the fishbowl out. “It is!”

Sonata untangled herself from the girl pile and walked up to Sunset. She lowered her head to get a closer look at the fish, a yellow fish with red fins easily as big as the rest of it. “Neato-torpedo!”

Aria also stood up took a step forward and Sunset immediately cupped a hand over the small bowl and clutched it to her chest.

Sunset glared angrily at Aria. “YOU STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM SUNNY, YOU DERANGED LUNATIC!”

Aria flashed Sunset a dejected look. “Whoa… What’s got into you?!”

Sunset narrowed her eyes. “You are the absolute last person… pony… uh… whatever I want near my little Sunny! I swear if you take one step closer I will shank you!”

Aria took a few cautious steps backwards.

“Whatever,” Adagio stood up and brushed herself off. “What I don’t get is how you were able to turn them all against us.”

The other two girls nodded in agreement.

“… You’re… you’re serious?” Sunset asked in disbelief.

“Even without magic, the students here should adore us!” Adagio insisted. “It’s only natural!”

“I…” Sunset sighed. “Alright, I’m not going to get into the nuances of how popularity works, so I’ll just list off some of the things you three did…” She turned towards Sonata. “Sonata, you lick everything! You put your mouth on water fountain nozzles! We even caught you breaking into the marching band room, opening up instrument cases, then licking everyone’s mouthpieces. From the hours of 3 pm to 6 pm, you did nothing but run around the school and lick all the doorknobs!”

Adagio and Aria’s eyes went wide and they turned towards Sonata and gave her a disgusted look.

Sonata lowered her head slightly and pushed out her lower lip as she looked between the two. “What…? I’m trying to create the ultimate viral infection! You know… Like Pandemic, except everyone gets sick for realsies!”

“Using your own body?!” Adagio cried.

“I’m making sacrifices in the name of science!” Sonata shot back.

Aria shook her head. “Well… It’s comforting to know you’re probably going to die soon of the world’s worst super-flu!”

Sonata rolled her eyes. “Oh, don’t be so melodramatic! I lick you girl’s faces every night when you fall asleep, too!”

Adagio’s and Aria’s faces went a few shades paler.

Sunset just blinked a few times. “Okay… just… what?”

“Well, d’uh! I’m not a moron!” Sonata said.

Sunset just trailed off. “Uh…”

Sonata continued, “The disease will spread much faster if there are three of us!”

Sunset merely continued to stare at Sonata. “I’m not sure whether to be disgusted here or laugh derisively at the revelation here.”

“I think I’m going to throw up…” Adagio said as she raised a hand to her mouth and puffed out her cheeks.

There was a beat before Aria said anything. Her cheeks began to flush. “I have conflicting feelings about this and it scares me!”

“Speaking of your feelings,” Sunset said, “you don’t seem to have any conflicting feelings on puppies, kittens, petting zoos, children, the elderly, the handicapped (both mental and physical), rainbows, sunsets, the sun, the moon, the stars, the ocean, the color chartreuse... pie… You hate all of those things and spent most the day finding and kicking them or air-kicking them when they proved to be out of reach.”

Adagio and Sonata turned towards Aria and scrunched their brows up slightly as if asking ‘Really?’ with their faces.

“What?!” Aria protested. “I hate lots of things! Is expressing that hate a crime?”

Sunset nodded. “Considering you physically assaulted a number of people and animals as well as engaged in property destruction, yes… Most of what you did was, in fact, criminal…”

“… Oh…” Aria replied sheepishly.

“Well fine!” Adagio said. “So you caught those two morons doing moronic things the students here disapprove of! But there’s no way you got me doing anything.”

Sunset sighed and shook her head. “Adagio… You spent several hours just going into great detail about how much you hated every student here at CHS. And when I say every student, I mean you literally sat down with a list of all the students in school and went through it name by name. You actually had something specific to say about each one, too! It’s like you actually took the time to get to know everyone just so you had something to hate about them!”

Adagio’s eyes went wide and beads of sweat began to collect on her forehead.

Aria and Sonata exchanged glances then looked back at Sunset.

“Wait… when was this?” Aria asked.

“After school,” Sunset said. “She went into a diner alone and read the list to a reflection of herself in the napkin dispenser while she made kissy faces the entire time.”

Aria and Sonata turned and stared at Adagio.

Adagio slumped her shoulders and hung her head.

Aria and Sonata broke into hysterical fits of laughter as Adagio’s face went bright red.

Sunset shook her head. “Normally this is where I’d lord my victory over my victims, but you three made this so ridiculously easy that I feel slightly hollow from this whole experience… Heck… I barely had to edit the footage… I pretty much just did a voiceover at the beginning and posted it straight to Metube.” She frowned. “So… I guess in a way you won,” Sunset said. “You know… except in any way that really matters since it was you three who got beat up and not me this morning.”

Adagio suddenly looked up with rage-filled eyes. “This isn’t over!” she cried.

Sunset raised an eyebrow. “Seriously? You think you can recover from this? I mean… I did some downright awful things in addition to endangering the entire school… maybe planet, and I think I have a better shot of getting back in the student’s good graces than you three.”

Adagio pointed an index finger at Sunset as Aria and Sonata stood tall to either side of her. “We challenge you to a battle of the ba—”

“No,” Sunset answered.

Adagio, Aria, and Sonata all exchanged a quick, confused glance.

“So when you say ‘no’…” Adagio began.

“I mean, ‘no’!” Sunset cried. “I beat you three and I’m sick to death of music at this point! Why would I go all in and bet every chip I have when I already won every chip on the table?! Whatcould you three possibly offer me to get me to go along with a stupid battle of the bands?”

The other three girls looked at each other and then suddenly huddled up. They whispered amongst each other, each one occasionally peaking up to look at Sunset. Soon, they parted and looked at her once more.

Adagio gave Sunset a devious smile. “Well… How about joining us then! We know how the school treats you! Together we can—”

Sunset shook her head. “You three are pretty much the worst entities I have ever had the misfortune to run into. I will quite happily stick with my crazy friends and put up with trying to get the school to stop hating me rather than spend an hour alone with you three.”

Aria shot Sunset a frustrated look, Sonata puffed out her lower lip, and Adagio sighed.

Adagio looked up at Sunset again. “If we gave you some money right now—”

“NO!” Sunset snapped.

Aria scowled at Sunset, Sonata gave her a somewhat hurt looking expression, and Adagio sneered.

“Well… FINE!” Adagio cried. “But this isn’t over! It doesn’t matter if you want to battle or not. We still have one more lunch this week!”

Sunset sighed. “Yeah, I know…”

The three began to leave, keeping their eyes on Sunset as they walked away.

“You better be ready, bacon-hair!” Adagio said.

Sunset rolled her eyes “You called me that already.” She folded her arms across her chest. “And you look like if Ms. Frizzle from The Magic School Bus went through a rebellious teen phase.”

Adagio held up her hand as her mouth opened and she glared at Sunset, but no sound came out. Aria merely gave Sunset a confused look. Sonata looked at Adagio as if she had never seen her before and erupted in a fit of laughter before doubling over on herself and collapsing to the ground.

“AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…!”

“STOP THAT!” Adagio ordered.

From the ground, Sonata continued to laugh. “… HAHAHAHAHAHAHA…! OH MY GOSH! HAHAHAHAHAHA! CANNOT UNSEE!HAHAHAHAHAHA… ”

Adagio gave a heavy sigh. “Aria,”—she pointed at Sonata— “grab that, will you?”

Aria gave her own heavy sigh and bent down to pick up Sonata, heaving the cackling girl over her shoulder before she and Adagio parted.

Sunset smiled to herself as she watched the three drift away, Sonata’s laughter slowly getting quieter as she was hefted towards the school.

“One more lunch to go…”

Chapter 5: ????’s Song

Cafeteria ControllingChapter 5: ????’s Song-ooooooo-

Author’s notes: Just a heads up, this is probably the weirdest thing I’ve written and that’s saying a lot compared to the rest of the story and everything else I’ve written.

-ooooooo-

Sunset Shimmer approached her usual table, walking towards the empty seat next to Pinkie Pie. Her other friends had already sat down, Rainbow Dash sitting next to Pinkie, and Rarity, Applejack, and Fluttershy sitting on the other side of the table.

Sunset stood in front of her chair and carefully set down her small fish bowl in front of her before unceremoniously tossing a half-eaten apple towards the center of the table. She followed this up by shooting her baseball glove an irate look and ripping it off her hand and also tossing it towards the center of the table.

“Girls, I can’t take this!” Sunset moaned as she took off her baseball cap and shook her hair loose. “I hate wearing pink, I’m sick of apples, and I hate wearing this random baseball stuff!”

Pinkie gave Sunset a slightly sad look while Applejack flashed her a dejected look.

“What?!” Rainbow Dash cried as she leaned forward to look at Sunset. “All the sports stuff is awesome!”

“Dash,” Sunset began, leaning forward as she held a palm upwards, “there’s a line to get into the nurse’s office from all the students who’ve tripped over balls, or have accidently been hit in the head with a bat, or stick, or whatever… Not to mention all the students who tripped or fell down stairs because they’re wearing cleats indoors!”

“Well maybe the problem is they aren’t wearing enough protective padding!” Rainbow retorted.

Sunset groaned in frustration.

Pinkie smiled. “You have to admit, Rainbow Dash makes an excellent point!”

Sunset frowned at Pinkie. “Yeah, well this will be a lot less funny when someone gets skewered on a javelin!” Sunset paused and stroked her chin as she thought about this. “… Or funnier depending on who it is… Still! It’s not fun to walk around carrying this stuff all day!” Sunset said as she motioned to the stuff in front of her.

“Awww,” Fluttershy uttered as she set down a partially eaten veggie burger, “what about your little fish?”

Sunset leaned forward towards the fish bowl and waved an index finger up and down in front of it. “Sunny here is the bright point of all this.”

Pinkie giggled.

Sunset looked up from her fishbowl. “Though, I think he’d be safer at home.” Sunset looked around the cafeteria. Students still carried around sports equipment of all sorts in addition to their pets, all while eating or carrying an apple or apple-baked good. “This place looks like some sort of gigantic slapstick fight scene waiting to happen!”

Pinkie giggled and inhaled a huge gulp of air.

Sunset quickly leaned over and covered Pinkie’s mouth. “I swear if you encourage a food, sports, or any sort of fight in here, I will drag you on top of this table and pile drive you!”

Pinkie whimpered slightly as Sunset removed her hand. “I’ll be good…”

Sunset leaned back in her chair and nodded. “Well, now that that’s settled, we need to keep an eye out for those three stupid bit—”

“Whoa!” Rainbow Dash said as she quickly placed her hand over Pinkie’s ears. “Sunset, you know you can’t use that sort of language in front of Pinkie!”

Pinkie frowned. “What language? Was Sunset going to start speaking French again?”

Sunset sighed. “Keep an eye out for those three stupid finches!”

The other girls at the table began to giggle.

Sunset sighed. “Girls, I’m puping serious here! We’ve got those three runts on the ropes, but—”

“AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

Sunset’s face burned a bright red as she stood up. “You know what? I’ll take care of it myself!”

Applejack tried to contain her laughter. “Now don’t be like… hehehehe… that, sugarcube,” Applejack said. “We … hehehe…  already joined in on spyin’ on those three. We’re not about to abandon you now!”

Rarity suddenly stood up and thrust an index finger into the air. “Ideeeeaaaa~!”

Sunset turned and narrowed her eyes at Rarity. “Is it you singing? Because there’s already been too many songs, and—”

‘SLAM!’

Sunset was cut off as the cafeteria doors opened once more. Adagio, Aria, and Sonata emerged, having cleaned themselves up slightly from this morning.

Sunset gritted her teeth as Rarity took the opportunity to quietly sneak away.

With the eyes of the entire CHS student body on them, the three girls began to harmonize.

“Aaaaaaaaah…Aaaaaaaah… AaaaaaAAAAAAACK!”

‘THUD!’

Adagio cried out in alarm and pain as a folding chair was hurled into her.

“AAH!”

“EEK!”

‘CRASH!’

‘BANG!’

Aria and Sonata also cried out as two more chairs went airborne and collided with them. Soon all three where laying in a heap on the ground, something that was beginning to happen to them with startling regularity.

Sunset casually walked over to the three, her leather boots tapping against the hard cafeteria floor as she walked. She stopped just a few inches from the pile of girls.

Adagio glared up at her. “You think throwing a few chairs at us will stop—HEY!” Adagio cried out as Sunset leaned down and quickly snatched the gem from around her neck. Sunset quickly followed this up by collecting the gems from the other two girls.

“Our magic gems!” Adagio cried as she laid on her stomach from the bottom of the pile. “How did she know!?”

Sonata gasped, laying on top of the other two on her back. “I know, right?! It’s like someone repeatedly explained to her what they were and how they worked!”

Adagio banged her head against the floor and sighed heavily. “Oh yeah… right… It was all your fault.”

“SERIOUSLY!” Aria cried as she laid sandwiched between the other two girls, her stomach pressed against Adagio. “Sonata, you are the worst thing to ever have existed ever!”

“Pffft, Whatever…” Sonata said dismissively. “At least I’m the cutest out of the three of us.”

Adagio and Aria merely lowered their eyelids and glared up at Sonata.

Sonata giggled. “Oh you know it’s true!”

Sunset smiled as she put the three gems into her coat. “Sorry, girls. Looks like you’ll have to rely on your winning personalities to get the students here to like you… God help you.”

Adagio glared up at Sunset. “This isn’t over…”

“Huh…” Sunset uttered as stared off into space. “I wonder how wow well red magical jewels hold up in a blender…”

The three girls exchanged panicked glances, then looked up at Sunset.

Adagio looked up at Sunset sheepishly. “However, this is on extended break…”

Sunset nodded, a smirk on her face. “I figured as much.”

‘SLAM!’

Sunset narrowed her eyes and turned as the cafeteria doors slammed open again. Rarity strolled out carrying her keytar.

Rarity opened her mouth and raised her hand, inhaling before she…

‘Thud!’

“AIE!”

… got hit in the face with a chair.

“NO!” Sunset shouted. “No more songs! I am not dressing up in anime fashion or whatever the heck it is you were planning!”

Rarity looked up, her head wobbling slightly as she attempted to focus on Sunset. “Lo…lolita…”

“Yeah, that!” Sunset cried. “I’m not dressing up as anything that shares a name with something strange enough that Kubrick decided to direct it!”

“Awww…” Pinkie uttered in a disappointed tone. “Well, there goes my idea for A Clockwork Orange themed dance…”

Sunset looked over the crowd and walked back over to her table, grabbing another chair on the way. She then proceeded to stand on top of the table. “Now, if any of you sons of finches got anything else to say, now’s the puping time!”

The cafeteria doors swung wide again.

The students gasped.

Sunset groaned.

Twilight Sparkle boldly marched into the cafeteria, Spike trotting behind her.

“Hold it right there, Sunset Shimmer!” Twilight Sparkle cried. “How dare you— WHAAA!”

‘THUD!’

Twilight fell to the ground, followed by the chair that collided with her head.

Applejack sighed and shook her head. “Saw that one comin’.”

Rainbow Dash shook her head. “Man, Sunset’s really good at chucking those chairs around. I need to get her to join the track and field team…”

Pinkie giggled. “Yeah! Do you think she’d be good at the javelin throw?”

Rainbow Dash frowned. “On second thought… maybe just chairs is good…”

“OW!” Twilight cried as she pushed off the floor slightly and rubbed her head. “Sunset, did you just throw a chair at me?!”

Flash Sentry suddenly rushed in between Sunset and Twilight. He threw his arms out wide and stared at Sunset. “Sunset! Stop this! If our time together meant anything to you, you’ll stop—OW!” Flash cried as folding chair collided with him bringing him to the ground. Flash looked up with a hurt expression… emotionally and physically as he now had a red spot on his forehead that was slowly starting to grow. “That was cold as ice.”

Sunset shrugged. “Sorry, but I’m really enjoying just chucking chairs at people.”

“Flash!” Twilight cried as she crawled over to him. “Are you okay…”

“Twilight…?” Flash murmured softly. “Is that… is that you?”

Twilight made her way up to flash and propped herself up, placing one hand on Flash’s cheek and the other on his chest. “I’m here, Flash!”

Flash swallowed. “I’m so… so happy you’re back…” Flash placed a hand against the one Twilight held on his cheek. “But… she got me good… I’m… I’m fading fast here…”

“No, Flash!” Twilight cried. “Don’t leave me!”

“WOULD YOU TWO KNOCK IT OFF?!” Sunset cried. “You just got hit with folding chairs! Just go hang out in Nurse Redheart’s office and make-out or something! I don’t even care anymore! I took care of the villains, alright?!”

“The only villain here is you!” Twilight cried as she looked up. “Uh… Also the three Celestia warned me about who have red magic jewels they use to control people… Kind of like the three you’re holding up right… right there… Oh…”

“Go home, Sparkles!” Sunset cried waving the jewels around. “I got this! Idiotic villains are defeated and we didn’t even have to shoot anyone with friendship rainbows or anything!”

Twilight puffed out her lower lip. “But… but… Shooting villains with friendship rainbows is all I have!”

Sunset folded her arms across her chest. “You are a magical princess who can fly! You seem to have plenty going on for you at the moment.”

Twilight frowned at Sunset. “Yeah… but still!”

“Rarity!” Spike cried as he noticed Rarity laying on a heap on the ground. He bounded over to her and nuzzled her.

“Spa… Spike…?” Rarity uttered as her eyelids slowly opened.

“I’m here, Rarity!” Spike said.

“Thank goodness you’re here!” Rarity cried.

Spike grinned wide. “You missed me?”

Rarity nodded. “Yes… Though mostly it’s because I didn’t bring a pet today and I look unfashionable… Do you think Twilight would mind if I borrowed you for a little while?”

Spike paused for a beat. “… You know what? I’m surprisingly fine with this…” He turned towards Sunset and scowled at her. “I can’t believe you’d throw a chair at Rarity!” he cried.

 “Hey!” Sunset protested. “That could have been anyone who threw a chair at her!”

“Could have been anyone, but it was Sunset Shimmer~,” Pinkie sang out.

“YOU LITTLE SNITCH!” Sunset cried.

“Wait…” Twilight said while she rubbed her head. “Wouldn’t it have made more sense just to deny doing it at all?”

“I… Shut up!” Sunset snapped.

Spike suddenly broke into a run and before Sunset could do more than throw her arms in front of her, Spike leapt onto the table…

“AAAHHH!”

… and then promptly fell off the table, landing on top of a food tray that slid as momentum carried both tray and dog past the edge.

‘CRASH!’

Sunset breathed a sigh of relief.

“Oh you poor dear!” Fluttershy said as she bent down over Spike, who woozily stood up to his feet and brushed a lettuce leaf off his head with a foreleg.

“Here, let me help you…” Fluttershy said as she picked up Spike and placed him on the table.

Sunset smacked a palm against her face. “God lamb it, Fluttershy!”

Spike began to growl as he stared up at Sunset. “Sorry but,”—Spike’s lips pulled up revealing his teeth—“I’m going to eat your face, now,” he snarled angrily.

“But I need my face!” Sunset protested. “It goes with the rest of my sexy body!”

“You should have thought about that before you threw a chair at Rarity!”

“HEY!” Twilight cried.

“Also Twilight,” Spike said. “But mostly Rarity…”

“WAIT!” Sunset cried. “Before you eat my face, I have to ask… You’re like… Twilight’s pet dragon back in Equestria, right?”

“Pet?!” Spike snarled. “I’m much more than that!”

Twilight nodded. “Spike’s my dear, dear slav—I mean mailbo—er… uh…fire starter, twisted fire star—No…shoot… what’s the word…”

Spike sighed heavily and turned to face Twilight. “Brother?” he suggested.

“What?” Twilight exclaimed. “Pffft… No! I have one of those already and I love him!”

Spike narrowed his eyes. “Right, so much that you don’t even mention him to any of your best friends until you find out he’s getting married?!”

“I remember the word now!” Twilight cried.

Spike looked up. “Best Dragon Friend for Life?! Heck, I’ll even take ‘Thunder Buddy,’ at this point!”

Twilight shook her head. “Nope! Live-in butler!”

Spikes eyes went wide as he stared back at Twilight.

“Wow…” Adagio said. “Even I feel bad for that little purple dog… dragon… whatever it is now…”

“I know, right?!” Sonata said. “And people think we’re evil!”

“You know what?” Aria said. “For once, I agree with you.”

“Yay!” Sonata cried. “Validation!”

Aria sighed. “But don’t push it.”

“So…” Adagio began, “are you girls going to get off of me?”

Aria and Sonata looked at each other and shrugged.

“Naw.”

“Nah.”

Adagio gave a heavy sigh.

“Hey!” Twilight cried. “Not to change the topic, but I’m absolutely going to change the topic. Weren’t you about to chew Sunset’s face off?”

“You know what?” Spike said as he folded his forelegs across his chest and sat back on his hind legs. “Suddenly, I’m not hungry for face!”

“Come on, Spike! Ol’ friend, ol’ buddy, ol’ pal!” Twilight cried. “Do it for your big sister, Twilight!”

“Don’t ‘big sister’ me!” Spike cried. “Not after what you said!”

“I was joking!” Twilight said. “Look! To prove I care about you, I’ll help you eat her face.”

“Okay… just… what?” Sunset said, the color draining from her face a bit.

“… Uh… Wow…” Spike replied. “Now that you’ve mentioned joining in, I just realized how gross and disturbing this conversation is…”

“Well, we’ll cook her face first, of course!” Twilight said.

“What?! Why?!” Spike cried.

“Yeah! Why?!” Sunset agreed.

“Because we’re friends, and friendship is two pals munching on a well-cooked face together!” Twilight answered.

Flash looked up at Twilight, and then looked around. “Anyone else a little turned on by this? Huh? No… Just me? Oh… okay…”

“Holy crud, Twilight!” Sunset exclaimed. “The heck happened to the magic of friendship and all that garbage?!”

 “You threw a chair at me, and then another at Flash!” Twilight cried. “I’m pretty peeved here!”

“Yeah!” Flash said as he laid on the floor. “You’ve gone too far.”

Sunset leveled an index finger at Flash. “Your head is resting on top of her lap, you should be thanking me!”

“… Yeah… but still!” Flash cried.

Sunset looked back at Twilight as she flung her arms to her sides. “Come on! Face eating?! That’s just… That’s just perverse and weird! Just get some ice-packs and the two of you will be fine!”

Twilight though about this. “Alright, yeah… hindsight being 20/20, I can see how I maybe crossed a line there. In my defense, it was mostly the blow to the head talking…”

“Aw…” Flash said sadly.

“AN-NEE-HOW,” Sunset cried, “I was just going to ask Spike if he thought it was weird that diamond dogs get human counterparts while he gets stuck as a dog!”

“WHAT?!” Spike cried as he scanned the cafeteria crowd, eventually picking out two rather large, muscle-bound students and a much shorter, but no less strong-looking student. “Oh what the heck! That is so unfair!” Spike sighed heavily and jumped off the table. “You know what? Buck this world! I’m heading back!”

“Spike no!” Rarity pleaded. “Don’t leave me here in such an unfashionable state!”

Spike shook his head and began trotting off. “Sorry, Rarity. But I refuse to stay in a world completely devoid of alternative-world-body-transformation justice!”

Rarity frowned heavily before a quick ponderous expression came over her. “… I’ll rub your belly if you stay…”

Spike stopped dead in his tracks. “You know what? Who am I to question the wisdom of the universe?”

“Yay!” Rarity exclaimed happily.

Twilight looked at the ‘Diamond Dog’ humans, then back at Sunset. “How’d you know about the Diamond Dogs anyhow?”

Sunset smiled. “You’d be amazed how many gems a few flashlights and a bunch of batteries gets you with a race that spends lots of time underground. Speaking of which… Do you think the portal will stay open long enough for me to make a killing selling technology to Equestrians?”

Twilight narrowed her eyes at Sunset. “You threw a chair at me! I don’t see why I should be inclined to do you any favors!”

Sunset rolled her eyes. “Are you still going on about that?! You’re running your hands through Flash’s hair as we speak!”

“I’m not used to having fingers, alright!” Twilight snapped back.

Sunset folded her arms across her chest. “You also suggested splitting a plate of my face with your dog!”

Twilight paused as she furrowed her brow at Sunset. “Fine!” she huffed out. “We’ll call it squarezies.”

“Good!” Sunset cried. “Now can you just let me have my mom— Aaaaaand you two are already making out… right… right in the middle of the cafeteria and everything. I’ll just… I’ll just pretend I didn’t have to see that…” Sunset said as she turned with a slightly nauseous look about her.

Sunset turned towards the masses of Canterlot High. “Well everyone, you’re free! No more songs! You can go back to… whatever it is you all do when you’re not blindly obeying music in the cafeteria.”

The students all went quiet and exchanged glances with each other other then turned back towards Sunset as they shifted uncomfortably in their seats.

“But… what do we do now?” Snips asked.

“Yeah! What do we do?” Snails parroted.

“What?!” Sunset cried. “What do you mean ‘what do we do’?! You go back to not relying on songs to tell you what to do every day! That’s what you do!”

“TRIXIE’S NOT SURE SHE’S READY FOR THE RESPONSIBILITY OF FREE WILL AGAIN!”

“OH MY GOSH!” Sunset cried. “It’s been less than a week!” Sunset sighed and allowed her arms to fall back down to her sides as she hung her head. She lowered herself back to the ground and collapsed into her chair.

Her friends gathered around her. Even Rarity walked up as she held Spike in her arms and scratched his belly. The dog-turned-dragon let his eyes roll back into his head as his tongue lolled out of his happy-looking mouth.

“I give up,” Sunset declared to the five girls hovering above her.

Pinkie frowned. “But everyone’s so confused and sad!”

“And they’re not crazy about Lolita fashion!” Rarity protested.

Sunset narrowed her eyes at Rarity. “Plenty more chairs in the cafeteria, Rarity.”

Rarity frowned. “I’ll be good, darling…”

“Come on, sugarcube!” Applejack said. “You can’t quit now! You’ve come so far!”

Rainbow Dash nodded in agreement. “Yeah! Just solve this problem like you solved all your other problems today!”

Sunset cocked an eyebrow. “You want me to throw chairs at the entire student body of CHS?”

Rainbow Dash shrugged. “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it…”

Sunset shook her head. “Tempting… but I know what I must do…” Sunset said with a solemn face. She stood up inhaling and exhaling heavily through her nose.

Fluttershy rested a hand on Sunset’s shoulder. “Do you need any help?”

Sunset shook her head. “No… I’ll do this alone…”

The tapping from Sunset’s boots could be heard clearly through the cafeteria as she walked towards the center. The students all went silent as they followed her with their eyes. Sunset looked over the expectant faces, took a deep breath, and began to sing.

-ooooooo-

Twilight grunted as she trudged forward, hefting a massive wooden pole over her shoulders. Sweat dripped from her forehead and down her face, soaking her clothing as she stared forward with a miserable expression.

In front of Twilight, Flash turned and looked back at her. His clothes were similarly soaked in sweat. He breathed heavily as he also hoisted the pole on his shoulders. “Huff… Look on the bright side… puff… At least we’re still together…”

“Shut up, Flash,” Twilight said as she shot Flash an irritated glance.

“Right… Shutting up…” Flash said as he turned and stared forward.

“You know…” Rainbow Dash began from behind Twilight, “… blind side being 20/20—”

“HINDSIGHT!” Twilight snapped.

“Yeah, that thing… uh… happening… It probably wasn’t a great idea to let Sunset sing given she spent the whole week being treated like garbage by the school…”

“I just got here!” Twilight cried. “How the heck was I was supposed to know Sunset had spent the whole week being tormented by everyone?! Anyhow… What I don’t get is why you’re down here too.”

Rainbow Dash’s cheeks turned slightly pink. “I may have thrown a soccer ball at Sunset’s face…”

Twilight narrowed her eyes. “May have?”

Rainbow Dash frowned. “And it may have hit… her face that is… So… I might be carrying this thing for a while…”

“Oh, whine, whine, whine!”

Twilight, Flash, and Rainbow Dash turned to their left as Adagio, Aria, and Sonata held aloft their own massive pole.

Aria continued, “You think you have it bad?”

Adagio spoke up, “We were the ones responsible for most of Sunset’s mistreatment. We’ll be lucky if she ever lets us stop hauling this thing around!”

“For… huff… puff… for realsies!” Sonata agreed.

“SHUT UP DOWN THERE!”

The group flinched as Sunset Shimmer shouted at them.

“I’m trying to enjoy the sounds of being pampered here!”

Attached to the poles that Twilight and the others carried was a large, magenta-carpeted platform. A platform that held an ornate throne, occupied by a lounging Sunset Shimmer who had returned to wearing her usual attire. Her boots and socks laid on the platform in front of her as Rarity worked a nail file over Sunset’s toenails and Pinkie fanned Sunset with a large palm tree.

Applejack walked over to Sunset with a round silver tray that held a single tall glass full of an orange beverage that turned reddish as it reached the bottom of the glass. A straw and tiny umbrella stuck up out of the drink.

Applejack lowered the glass in front of Sunset. “Here’s your drink Sunse—”

Sunset shot Applejack a scowl.

“—Uh… m’lady…” Applejack corrected.

“Thank you, servant,” Sunset said as she took the glass. She reached into her jacket with a free hand and pulled out a single dollar bill, which Applejack gleefully accepted. “You may go now.”

“Thanks, m’lady!” Applejack said as she turned and walked away from Sunset and her throne. She stopped as she reached the edge of the platform. “Hey, m’lady…?” Applejack said as she looked at the mass of people who carried the platform underneath. “How do I get down?”

Sunset smirked. “You get down when I say you can.”

“Uh… okay then…” Applejack said.

“Just hang tight, dear,” Rarity said as she continued filing Sunset’s nails. “You should really enjoy the royal treatment by proxy…”

“I hear that!” Spike said as he rested next to Rarity on a pillow.

“I know, right?!” Pinkie said enthusiastically as she continued to fan Sunset. “It’s great being carried to all the places Sunset wants to go to!”

Rarity teetered to herself. “I mostly just enjoy the being carried around…”

“Uh… I guess I’ll just… go wait in the corner… or somethin’,” Applejack said as she wandered off.

Fluttershy approached holding a large fishbowl on an ornate magenta pillow. Sunny floated in the center of the bowl.

“I cleaned up Sunny’s new bowl and fed him just like you asked, m’lady,” Fluttershy said.

Sunset nodded. “Good! Set him next to me.”

Fluttershy sat both pillow and fishbowl next to Sunset’s crown and stood up again.

“I think you deserve a reward,” Sunset said with a smile.

“Oh that’s okay!” Fluttershy said. “I like taking care of animals!”

Sunset shook her head. “I insist.” She snapped her fingers.

Pinkie leaned down and sat her palm leaf behind the throne and popped up with a large smile and an even larger orange wheel in her hands.

“Erm… This is a cheese wheel…” Fluttershy said.

Sunset nodded. “Yep! And you’re going to eat the entire thing!”

Fluttershy puffed out her lower lip and whimpered slightly. “But… but… I’m eating well again!”

“Better safe than sorry!” Sunset retorted. “Now take your cheese wheel!”

Pinkie handed the cheese to Fluttershy who stared at the item in confusion.

“Erm… I guess I’ll just… start eating… all this cheese then…” Fluttershy said as she wandered off.

“And you!” Sunset said as she looked up at Pinkie. “Get back to fanning!”

Pinkie quickly saluted and retrieved her palm leaf. “Aye-aye!” she said as she continued fanning Sunset.

“Awwww…” Sunset Shimmer uttered contently as she leaned back in her ornate throne. “… happy at last…”

The End.

Bonus Chapter: A Bunch of Stuff

Cafeteria ControllingBonus chapter: A bunch of stuff.-ooooooo-

Adagio adjusted her hair as she smiled at her reflection on the chrome napkin holder in front of her. She lifted a list off the table and scanned it with her eyes and grinned deviously as she focused her gaze on a specific spot on it.

“Mystery Mint?” Adagio said, rolling her eyes. “The only mystery is how long she’s had that ratty skirt!” She continued down the list. “Naomi? What kind of stupid name is that?! And what’s up those big gold glasses! They just look ridiculous!” Her eyes drifted downward. “Norman?! That’s an even worse name than Naomi! Plus he’s just the most boring person ever!” Adagio paused to stare at her reflection and puffed her lips out at it.

“Seriously! Can we go?” A young man with unruly reddish-brown hair in a gray beanie asked as he sat in a booth over from Adagio, facing the back of her head. “I get enough of this stuff at school! She’s even picking on you, Naomi!”

A girl with long, straight purple hair and a set of large yellow sunglasses on her forehead shook her head from side to side. “Oh Norman, she’s not that bad!” Naomi replied. “Besides, our milkshakes haven’t even arrived yet!”

“But it’s not just her!” Norman said.

“Please stay,” Sunset said from behind Norman as she held her phone pointed just over his shoulder. “You guys are great to hide behind!” she added with a smile. “She hasn’t done so much as glanced in your direction since she’s got here!”

“Oh yes, do stay!” Rarity chimed in as she held her phone over Norman’s other shoulder. “It’s making spying on her ever so easy!”

“See, Norman!” Naomi said as she motioned to the two girls leaning over his shoulders. “Everyone wants us to stay!”

Norman sighed heavily and shook his head.

-ooooooo-

“How dare you— WHAAA!”

‘THUD!’

Vinyl Scratch lifted her sunglasses as she bared witness to the scene in front of her. The cafeteria was a mess of girls collapsed on the ground and thrown chairs. She took her headphones off and rested them on her shoulders as she stared out in confusion.

“Hey Tavi, what the heck is going on?” Vinyl asked the girl sitting next to her at the table. “Why is Sunset Shimmer throwing chairs at everyone?”

Octavia narrowed her eyes. “Seriously? ‘What’s going on?’ Haven’t you been paying any attention this week?!”

Vinyl shook her head. “I’ve had my headphones on literally the entire week!”

Octavia sighed and brought the fingertips on her right hand up to her forehead. “Of course you have…”

Vinyl looked Octavia up and down and began laughing.Octavia’s clothing was only slightly different than usual, with her purple vest being swapped out for a pink vest that matched her pink skirt and bow-tie. However, she also wore a helmet, elbow, and knee pads. “Hahahahaha! Tavi, is there like.. hehehe… a costume party going on today? You look ridiculous! And what’s with all the pets?!” Vinyl added as she nodded at a striped grey and black tabby cat that slept on the lunchroom table. “Is it also bring your pet day?! Seems they should really space those things out.”

Octavia removed her hand and scowled at Vinyl. She opened her mouth as if to speak.

Vinyl held up her hand. “You know what?” She shook her head. “I don’t even want to know, dude… You’ve been keeping track and you look like you’re about to participate in some sort of crazy animal roller derby.” With that, Vinyl put her glasses back over her eyes and her headphones back over her ears and allowed the soothing wubs to send her back into the world of blissful ignorance.

-ooooooo-

The tapping from Sunset’s boots could be heard clearly through the cafeteria as she walked towards the center. The students all went silent as they followed her with their eyes. Sunset looked over the expectant faces, took a deep breath, and began to sing...

“WORSHIP ME!”

… or scream rather. She followed it up with a death-metal primal roar.

“… RRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOORRRRRRR!” Sunset paused and added, “Also, stop just doing whatever you’re told in song… Excluding this one… Which is totally a song…”

There was a beat of silence and then the students at CHS went wild. They cheered as they got out of their chairs and fell onto their knees on the floor, bowing repeatedly to Sunset.

“WHAT?!” Twilight cried. “I thought you turned good?!”

Sunset raised her eyebrow slightly as she turned to face Twilight. “I’ve had a loooooong week, Twilight. Like hell I’m going to waste this opportunity.”

Adagio smacked a palm against her face. “I can’t believe that’s all we had to do this entire time!”

Aria glared down at Adagio. “I can’t believe you wasted our time slowly trying to undermi…” Aria trailed off as yellow crumbs and bits of shredded cheese began to fall onto her face.

“I can’t believe how much I love tacos!” Sonata cried as she shoved more of her taco into her mouth as she continued to lay on her back on top of the other girls.

“Sonata!” Aria snapped. “What the heck!” she cried as she brushed bits of taco out of her hair.

“Where’d you even get that?”

Sonata pointed. “I told that guy I’d punch his little dog to death if he didn’t hand over his taco.”

Norman glared at Sonata and hugged his large chocolate lab tightly. “YOU LEAVE REX THE HELL ALONE!”

-ooooooo-

Vice-Principal Luna let out a heavy sigh as she pulled back her fingers from the closed window blinds.. “Well, Sunset Shimmer essentially declared herself ruler of the entire student body.”

An opossum that rested on Luna’s shoulder hissed, seemingly in annoyance.

“See?!” Principal Celestia said as she laid back in her chair and rested her feet on her wood desk. “I told you the students would figure it all out if we just left them to their own devices! You really need to lighten up.”

An orange-and-yellow parrot sitting in a gold-colored cage flapped its wings. “RAWRK! Lighten up! Lighten up!”

Luna and the opossum both shot a glare to the animal before Luna looked back at Celestia. “Well… assuming Sunset Shimmer doesn’t go too mad with power, we still need to prepare for the battle of the bands.”

“… The what?” Celestia said as she gave Luna a blank stare.

“The battle of the bands!” Luna cried. “We completely changed the format of the musical showcase at the beginning of the week just because those three new students who turned out to be evil wandered in and you decided you”—Luna air quoted—“‘liked their style’.”

Celestia sighed. “I think I’ve had enough music for a while… Let’s just push it out a week.”

Luna sighed. “FINE!”

-o~A few days later~o-

Sunset Shimmer sighed contently as she lounged in a comfortable chair in the Canterlot High School cafeteria and rested her feet on the table in front of her. She opened her mouth with an “Ah” as Rarity gently placed a grape devoid of skin into it. Beside Sunset, Pinkie fanned her with a large palm leaf.

“More sparkling cider, m’lady?” Applejack asked as she presented Sunset with a tall glass of a golden sparkling substance with a straw sticking out of it.

“Don’t mind if I do!” Sunset said as Applejack placed the straw in front of her. Sunset took a couple large sips from the straw then motioned at Applejack to backup with the drink.

Across from her, Fluttershy stood at the table and raised a huge chunk of cheese to her mouth and took a bite. Rainbow Dash also stood at the table, but rested her torso and head on top of it as she tried to catch her breath.

Rainbow Dash looked up at Sunset. “So… huff… puff…” she said. “When do you think you’ll be tired of… huff… puff… tired of ruling over the students?”

“Hmmmm…” Sunset put on a thoughtful expression and stared up at the ceiling as she tapped an index finger against her chin. She looked back down at Rainbow Dash and smiled sweetly. “Oh, I guess somewhere between now and never because this is the best thing to happen to me ever!” she said as her sweet smile exploded into a massive grin.

Rainbow Dash groaned and placed her head back on the table.

Rarity frowned as she peeled the skin off a grape. “You can at least let us have chairs!”

Sunset shook her head. “No way! I know how powerful they can be! I’m not letting the students arm themselves so they can rebel against me.”

Fluttershy swallowed the cheese in her mouth. “My legs are tired…”

“Come on guys!” Pinkie said cheerfully. “Think about how muscly our calves are going to become!”

Rarity, Applejack, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash all groaned.

‘SLAM!’

Sunset immediately sat up in her chair as she recognized the sound of the cafeteria doors slamming open. “HEY!” she cried. “I specifically decreed that…”

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaah, Aaaaaaaaaaaaah, Aaaaaaaaaaaaah…”

Sunset’s eyes went wide as Adagio, Aria, and Sonata walked in, harmonizing and swaying their hips. This wasn’t nearly as distressing as the red gems each one wore around their neck.

“WHAT?!” Sunset cried and dove her a hand into her jacket than her other as she frantically searched her pockets. “How could they do that when… when…” Sunset’s eyes went wide as he turned her empty pockets inside out. “… when they don’t have their jewels…?” she murmured.

“Oh, those!” Pinkie said cheerfully.

The other girls all turned towards Pinkie.

“Pinkie,” Sunset growled out, “what did you do?!”

“I traded them for something beeeetteeeeer~!”

Sunset’s face contorted and twisted in rage as she attempted to work her mouth in the hopes something coherent would come out of it, but angry, throaty growls was all she managed.

“Good heavens, Pinkie!” Rarity exclaimed. “They were magical gems that allowed them to syphon energy from the students! What could possibly have been better?!”

Pinkie cheerfully reached into her mop of pink hair and pulled out three colorful, squat cone-shaped items, each one about an inch and a half in diameter with a circular metal edge at the top.

Fluttershy looked at the items in confusion. “Those… are tops?”

“No silly!” Pinkie said. “Beyblades! Let it rip, yo!”

The other girls stared at Pinkie in disbelief, their lower jaws all hanging unhinged from their upper ones.

Sunset smacked her forehead with a palm. “God pupping lamb it all to shell, Pinkie.”

Chapter 2: Applejack’s Song

Cafeteria ControllingChapter 2: Applejack’s Song-ooooooo-

A few hours after the first bell rang, Sunset made her way to lunch and sat down at the her usual table with the handful of her friends that were already there. Business as usual for her, save that almost the entire school body was wearing pink clothing.

“WHAT THE HELL, GUYS?!”

Also Sunset’s hair was a frazzled mess full of bubble gum.

“What?” Rainbow Dash protested. “You still have almost all your hair!”

“NO THANKS TO ANY OF YOU!” Sunset cried.

“Sorry, Sunset,” Applejack said, “but I couldn’t rightly interfere with a bet. Why, that'd be more dishonest than a snake in…”

“IF YOU MAKE ONE MORE FARM SIMILE, I SWEAR I WILL SET FIRE TO YOUR HOME.”

Applejack paused. “… Fair ‘nuff… Ah wasn’t sure where Ah was going with that one, anyway.” Applejack scooped up a spoonful of some gooey pink unidentifiable substance which had just replaced the gooey brown unidentifiable substance on the menu.

Dash shot Sunset an indignant look. “Look, you could have came out ahead of all this, but you had to put Pinkie in a choke hold and keep all your stupid hair! If you’d just let her eat it all, I would have split the money with you!”

“YOU ONLY BET 10 DOLLARS!” Sunset cried. “AND YOU GAVE APPLEJACK TWO-TO-ONE ODDS IN HER FAVOR! I WASN’T GOING TO LET PINKIE EAT MY HAIR FOR A MEASLY TWO DOLLARS AND FIFTY CENTS!”

A crisp green bill slowly rose in front of Sunset.

A slightly hoarse, high-pitched voice asked, “Will you let me eat your hair for five dollars?”

One of Sunset’s eyes twitched in irritation. “Pinkie, put that away before I choke you into unconsciousness again.”

Pinkie made a disappointed “Awww…” before placing the bill back in her massive mop of pink curls.

“Besides,” Sunset said, “I don’t get why you’re so fixated on my hair… I mean… Just look at Rainbow Dash…” Sunset motioned out to Dash.

Pinkie obediently turned and looked at Rainbow Dash.

Sunset continued, “… Just look at all the colors in her hair!”

Rainbow Dash chuckled. “Yeah, they are pretty awesome.”

“Can you imagine what eating her hair must taste like?”

Pinkie’s eyes went wide as she inhaled a large volume of air.

Rainbow Dash chuckled. “Hehe… yeah…” Her eyes suddenly went wide as she processed Sunset’s words. “Wait, what?”

“GIMME!” Pinkie cried as she suddenly jumped across the table and pounced on Rainbow Dash, bringing both girls to the floor.

‘CRASH!’

“AAAH! Get off of me!” Rainbow cried as she placed her hands on Pinkie’s face and held her away from her hair. Pinkie was unrelenting however, and soon she had slipped past Rainbow’s defenses and was face down in her hair with a mouth full of it.

Sunset smiled to herself then turned towards Applejack. “Want to bet Pinkie gets through three colors before Rainbow Dash manages to push her off?”

“Yer on!” Applejack said.

“Oh… haha… I get it…” Rainbow Dash said as she continued to attempt to push Pinkie off of her. “Yeah not so fun… uhn… when it’s your hair being chewed… Lesson learned… Can you guys help me now?!” Rainbow Dash cried.

“Pinkie, chew harder,” Sunset said.

“YAAAAAAAAY!” Pinkie exclaimed. Soon she was face deep in the rainbow color of hair once again. “Oh my GOSH!” she cried as she surfaced from the rainbow locks. “GIRLS, every color is a different flavor!”

“Girls! Girls!” Rarity cried as she ran up with a pink tray with a bowl of rice covered in some vegetables and cooked meat, a pair of chopsticks, a purple juice-box, and an apple. “This is hardly the way one should conduct themselves at lunchtime!”

Sunset scowled at her. “‘At lunchtime’?! Why, was it somehow more acceptable for Pinkie to try eating my hair in the morning?”

“I’m sorry, Sunset,” Rarity said. “But lunchtime is when I realign my ki!” She motioned to herself. “I need a stress free environment if I’m going to be properly balanced for the rest of the day.”

Sunset raised her the index and middle fingers on both her hands up to her temples and began massaging them. “Seriously? You eat lunch with Pinkie Pie and you actually use lunch time as some sort of meditation period to recharge your chi?!”

Rarity frowned and looked down at Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie, who continued to struggle on the cafeteria floor. “Well I must admit, it’s harder to find my center some days more than others. Also, it’s ‘ki’, darling.”

Sunset rolled her eyes. “You are such a frickin’ weeb, you know that?”

“Hey!” Pinkie cried as she perked her head up, several strands of multi-colored hair in her mouth.

“YES!” Rainbow Dash cried triumphantly as she quickly got off the floor and rushed around to the other side of the table.

Pinkie continued, “How do you know Rarity is white?”

Sunset stared blankly at Pinkie. “I… Is this a trick question?! Rarity is as white as they come!”

“No, not her skin tone, d’uuuuuh!” Pinkie said. “I mean… It’s not like all the kids here all have natural skin tones! Maybe Rarity is something other than white and we don’t know!” Pinkie giggled. “I mean… do you have any idea how much the internet would flip out if they gave us all normal skin tones?! The entire blagosphere would burn down because of all the flame wars!”

Sunset looked back and forth over the other three people sitting at the table. “Do you girls know what the heck she’s talking about, or do you just sort of ignore it for the sake of keeping sane?”

“Definitely option number two,” Applejack said.

“Oh my, yes,” Rarity said with a nod.

“The second one,” Rainbow Dash said as she attempted to adjust her hair with a hand. She pulled a disgusted face as she pulled back a hand coated in slobber.

 “Well, now that that’s out of the way…” Applejack said as a smile slowly spread across her face and she held out a hand in front of Sunset.

Sunset sighed and reached into her coat. She pulled out a black leather wallet, opened it, and pulled a bill from it. She handed the bill to Applejack, who happily accepted it.

“Now if ya’ll excuse me,” Applejack said as she stood up from the table, “I’ve got some business to attend to.”

Sunset gave Applejack a suspicious look at Applejack’s cryptic remark, but something else quickly caught her attention.

Fluttershy walked up, lunch tray in hand, and sat down next to Rainbow Dash.

Sunset took one look at the contents and groaned. “Celery again?!”

Fluttershy bowed her head slightly, causing a little bit of her long, pink hair to fall in front of her face. “Well… er… I mean… I did get two stalks this time…”

“It’s celery!” Sunset cried. “After your body digests it poorly, you’ve barely taken in any calories! Double of ‘almost nothing’ is still ‘almost nothing’!”

Fluttershy looked at Sunset with an almost frightened look. “But… it’s full of vitamin ‘k’!”

“Oh boy!” Sunset said sarcastically. “Looks like your bones will be nice and strong and any wounds you receive will close up nicely. Which is good with all the fainting and falling you’ll be doing!”

Fluttershy whimpered.

Rainbow Dash glared at Sunset. “Would ya cut her some slack? You already picked on her yesterday!”

“SHE’S TRYING TO LOSE WEIGHT WHEN SHE’S ALREADY RIDICULOUSLY THIN!” Sunset cried motioning emphatically towards Fluttershy. “I’M TRYING TO HELP HER!” Sunset sighed. “Am I wrong from not wanting one of my only friends to—”

‘SLAM!’

Sunset was interrupted as the doors to the cafeteria were thrown open as Applejack walked in holding her base.

Sunset sighed and raised a hand to her face. “Oh hell…”

“Hey, everybody!” Applejack said. “Are you tired of deciding between too many meal items every lunch?”

The room went silent.

“…”

“… No…?” Someone called out.

Applejack began to strum a few chords on her bass. “Well, I have just the solution!” With that, Applejack broke into song.

“If choices at lunch is something in which you grapple, don’t despair! Just have apples!”

Applejack concluded her tune with a few more strums on her bass, then took a bow as she took off her cowboy hat.

The cafeteria erupted into cheers and applause.

Applejack smiled and put her hat back on, then walked back to the table where all her friends where sitting at.

Pinkie smiled wide as she continued clapping enthusiastically. “Awesome song, A.J.! That rocked.”

Rainbow Dash nodded. “Heck ya! That was tight!”

Rarity swung a fist in front of her chest. “A rip-roaring tune if ever there was one.”

“Yay,” Fluttershy said quietly.

Sunset blinked a few times staring at Applejack. “That… that was it?”

Applejack lifted her right hand and absentmindedly examined her fingernails. “Less is more, sugar cube.”

-ooooooo-

Sunset looked down at her pink shirt and pink skirt and sighed as she walked down the sidewalk. She still wore her same knee-length leather boots and leather jacket and had even made sure the pink shirt still bore her yellow and red cutie mark, but she still shifted uncomfortably under the unfamiliar items.

She gave an even heavier sigh and shook her head as she walked onto the CHS campus, noting every student seemed to be munching on an apple or some sort of baked good, no doubt, made with apples.

“HEY! IT’S SUNSET SHIMMER, AGAIN!”

Sunset once again froze in place next to the large horse statue as a crowd formed a semicircle around her.

“Hey! It’s cool, alright!” Sunset opened her jacket slightly so everyone could better see what she was wearing. “I have pink on! No need to go spastic with gum or anything!”

“SHE’S NOT EATING ANYTHING APPLE-RELATED!” someone cried in an accusatory tone.

“Okay… just… what?” Sunset said in disbelief. “You’re all harassing me because I’m not eating an apple at this very second?”

“LET’S ASSAULT THE APPLE HATER!”

“Snip!” Sunset cried. “Please! Don’t—”

“Yeah! With apples, even!”

“Snails! Stop being such a follower and just a do what I—” Sunset’s eyes went wide as everyone lifted apples and an assortment of baked goods up. She threw her hands in front of her and waved them about. “Whoa, whoa, whoa! Everyone chill for a second! Someone just hand me an apple and— OWCH!”

A big green apple bounced of Sunset’s forehead.

Sunset rubbed the area the apple had just hit. “Not what I meant…”

“GET HER!”

“NO, WAIT! AHHHHHH!” Sunset cried out as she was suddenly pelted with apples and baked goods as the students around her let loose their conveniently hand-sized items at her. Soon the crowd had finished with their apple assault and parted. Sunset merely knelt on the ground with her face pressed to her thighs, covering her head with her arms as best she could.

Sunset looked up, her face and clothes covered in crushed apple as well as pastry that had been thrown at her. Tears streamed from her eyes. “But… but… I would have just eaten something if someone gave it to me… hic…”

“Well, well, well… Look what the angry orchard dragged in.”

Sunset looked up to see Adagio, Aria, and Sonata standing above her and grinning wickedly down at her, or rather, Adagio and Aria grinning wickedly down at her. Sonata just looked like she was happy to be outside.

Sunset made a phlegmy sound as she wiped her arm under her nose and rose to her feet. “Uhg… What are you three psychos doing here?” she asked as she brushed apple and pastry mush off her face and jacket.

Adagio put on a fake taken aback expression. “Why Sunset, I’m hurt!” Adagio said as she motioned to herself. “And after we hit it off so well yesterday.”

Sunset sighed. “Right, sorry. Just having a bad day here… and it’s barely started even. I guess I shouldn’t take it out on you and—”

“‘Hit it off’?” Sonata cried. “I thought you said we might have to do something about that ‘stupid preppy Shimmer girl’ if we ever want our plans to succeed!”

Adagio tensed her fingers and held her palms upwards as she made a face at the sky as if asking it ‘Why?’

“And the after that pink-haired girl made a song about wearing pink, you said we definitely had to do something about her and her friends!” Sonata added.

Aria glared at Sonata. “Ulg! Why do we even let you outside?!”

Sonata grinned. “Because you have no choice now that I figured out how locks work.”

Sunset shook her head. “I’m not sure why I keep trying to be nice to everyone… All my friends are crazy… Most the school still despises me… And now that some new students have come along, they turn out to be as crazy as I was when I first got here! SERIOUSLY!” Sunset cried as she gave the girls a serious look. “Do you have any idea how hard it is to be nice all… most the time?! I’m trying… I’m trying so flippin’ hard, but does the universe throw me a bone?!” Sunset looked up at the sky and held her palms upward. “NoOoOoOoOoOoOo! The universe is just going to rain garbage on me! I mean, WHAT THE HELL?! WHAT DO I HAVE TO VOLUNTEER FOR TO MAKE PEOPLE STOP HATING ME?! HOW MANY SCHOOL EVENTS DO I HAVE TO HELP AT UNTIL IT STOPS?! I JUST…sniff” – tears began to stream down Sunset’s eyes— “I JUST… I JUST WANT EVERYONE TO STOP STARING AT ME LIKE THEY WISH I WAS DEAD! IS THAT REALLYSO MUCH TO ASK?!” Sunset suddenly covered her face with both hands as she broke into loud, pained wailing. “WHOUAAAAAAAAHOUAAAAAAAAAHOUAAAAAAAAHOUAAAAAAAHOUAAAAAAAAAAA!”

The other three girls just stood and stared at Sunset, unsure of how to respond. They turned and looked at each other. Sonata’s eyes grew wide and puppy-doggish. Adagio puffed out her lower lip ever so slightly. Even the almost continually grumpy Aria pursed her lips into a sad frown.

Adagio walked up to Sunset and put a hand on her shoulder. “Uh…Wow… Look… This crying is actually making us feel a little bad here… So erm… If I gave you some money right now, would you stop so this whole exchange becomes a lot less awkward for us?”

Sunset uncovered her face, tears still fell from her eyes and even a little bit of snot hung from her nose. She ran her jacket covered arm under her nose. “How much you got?”

Adagio looked over at Sonata. “Sonata?”

Sonata smiled and reached into her jacket, pulling out a wallet that she handed to Adagio.

Sunset wiped a hand across her face, clearing away her tears. “Wait, you let the air-head carry the cash?!” she asked in disbelief.

Adagio simple looked at the wallet as she opened it up and pulled a crisp $20 bill out. “She’s the only one whose outfit actually has pockets.”

Sunset raised an eyebrow. “Why don’t you, oh I don’t know, just dress like normal people then?!”

Adagio shot Sunset a glare.

“Hey!” Aria cried. “Do you want to get paid to stop your pathetic crying or not?! Because I’m starting to feel a lot less bad here.”

Sunset began tearing up again and even managed a few more pained cries. “Whouaaa…hhhehh… sniff… hhhehh…”

Adagio nodded. “Better,” she said as she handed Sunset the bill.

Sunset quickly ran her arm over her face and dried her tears again before shoving the bill in her jacket. “How’d you three manage to make the students assault me with gum for not wearing pink and pelt me with apples and stuff anyhow?”

“‘Make?’” Adagio said as she gave Sunset a devious grinned. “Oh Sunset, why would you even suggest something as outlandish as us being able to ‘make’ people do anything?”

“Yeah!” Sonata said speaking up. “It’s not like we incite agitation in other people through our songs and magical gems!”

Adagio gritted her teeth and turned to face Sonata as she quickly crossed her arms into the shape of an ‘X’ several times.

“What?!” Sonata protested. “I said it’s ‘not like we incite’ so we’d totally be in the clear and she’d suspect nothing!”

“Oh my gosh, Sonata!” Aria cried. “Just drown while drinking from a water fountain already!”

“HA!” Sonata replied. “Jokes on you! I always remember to wear my arm floaties when I drink from water fountains!”

Sunset sighed. “Not sure if you guys noticed, but it seems getting the student body to do what you want through the” –Sunset air quoted— “‘magic of song’ isn’t exactly some big accomplishment around here.”

Adagio narrowed her eyes at Sunset. “Oh we noticed, and we intend to do something about it.”

“How? By getting the student body to harass me?” Sunset asked. “That’s barely a change to how they already act around me. And even if you do somehow take me out, you’ll never be able to deal with my friends.”

“My, my,” Adagio purred with a devious smile, “you’re so confident in them.”

Sunset shook her head. “No, I mean, you won’t be able to deal with how bat-guano crazy they all are! These girls grow long pony tails and their ears change into horse ears when they play instruments! Then they just go on about their days as if it’s no big deal! Heck! Rarity just wants to figure out how she can accessorize better for when they all start floating in the air and their flippin’ bodies transform!”

Adagio suddenly looked at Sunset with great interest. “Horse ears you say…”

“She did! She did say!” Sonata cried pointing at Sunset. “They must be the source of the Equestrian magic we’re looking for!”

Adagio gritted her teeth and cringed slightly.

Aria wheeled on Sonata. “Sonata!”

“Yes, Aria?” Sonata asked with a sweet smile on her face.

“I hope you die before your wedding!”

Sonata frowned. “I’m not getting married…” Her eyes widened. “Or am I?”

Sunset smacked a palm against her face and shook her head. “Oh hell… Did mom shove you three through the portal because you were all too insufferable to keep back home?”

Adagio raised an eyebrow. “Mom?”

Sonata gasped. “She must be Celestia’s daughter!”

“Sonata!” Aria snarled.

“What?!”

“You are just so, so dumb!” Aria cried. “I have no idea how you even remember to keep breathing!”

Sonata stuck out her tongue. “Takes one to know one!”

Adagio sighed. “That was a nice secret plan we had once…”

Sunset rolled her eyes. “If you say so…”

Adagio looked at Sunset. “So… If you’re really Celestia’s daughter, how come we’ve never heard of you?”

Sunset cringed. “I’m not actually Sunbutt’s daughter… I… Look it’s complicated, alright?”

Adagio squinted at the symbol on Sunset’s chest. “Wait… Is that your cutie mark?”

Sunset glanced down briefly. “Yeah… So?”

“So you’re telling me you’re not Sunbutt Jr.?”

Sunset looked down at her shirt again and her face flushed red. “Look, just drop it alright! The point is I know where you’re from and I know quite a bit about your evil plan…”

Aria sighed and glanced at Sonata. “Gee… I wonder how that happened.”

“For realzies, right!?” Sonata cried. “She must be like… the world’s greatest detective, or some junk.”

“Oh, please,” Sunset said. “Sonata may have given me the lion’s share of info, but she’s hardly the only one to blame.”

Adagio sighed. “Dang it, Aria!”

“ME?!” Aria cried as she pointed to herself. “You think this is my fault, too?!”

“Well, you are an idiot,” Adagio said. “And it not like you making such a big deal out of everything Sonata says doesn’t draw even more attention to it.”

Sonata chuckled as Aria let out a frustrated growl.

“Actually,” Sunset said, “it was all three of you.”

“Oh puleeease,” Adagio said dismissively. “You can’t expect me to believe you picked up anything from m—”

Sunset pointed behind the three. “Oh look! Equestrian magic!”

“WHERE?!” Adagio cried as she and the other two girls turned and looked with excited, slightly wicked expressions.

Sunset folded her arms across her chest as a smug, self-content smile spread across her face.

Adagio sighed as she continued to stare off into the empty campus of CHS. “You said that hoping we’d do exactly what we just did, didn’t you?”

“Pretty much, yeah,” Sunset answered.

“Ooooooh!” Sonata cried. “She is good!”

The three turned back to face Sunset, Adagio and Aria’s faces had flushed red. Sonata just looked impressed.

“Look girls,” Sunset began, “believe it or not, I know a lot more about what you’re going through then you think. Why don’t you just come clean with me and my friends? They’re insane, but they usually mean well enough… I’m sure between all nine of us, we can work something out without ridiculous songs and, more importantly, me getting assaulted every morning.”

Adagio narrowed her eyes. “And if I say ‘no’ and we continue with our”—Adagio air quoted— “‘evil plan’?”

“Oh sure!” Sonata said. “Just tell her everything, why don’t you?!”

Aria grit her teeth as she closed her eyes and brought her fingers up to her temples.

“What are you doing?” Sonata asked.

“I’m trying to hate you to death!”

“Oh!” Sonata said. She smiled. “Let me know if it works!”

“Oh, don’t worry, you’ll be the first to know,” Aria replied.

Sunset rolled her eyes. “Then you’ll fail and it will probably suck big-time for you. My friends already tangled with a bitter, irate, testy, cold-hearted opponent and her two moron minions before and they apparently came out with magical powers from the whole thing! Not to mention that time they were at least up against one person who wasn’t a complete moron.” Sunset sighed. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but why not try giving the... cough… give the… hack…” Sunset’s light orange skin began to turn slightly green.

“Not that I care,” Adagio said, “but are you feeling nauseous?”

Sunset leaned down slightly, prospering an arm against her leg while she held the other one up. “I’ll be… be… fine… but you three should give the …cough… cough… give the… hack… cough… ” Sunseteyes went wide and teared up a little. She took a few deep breaths then quickly said, “…magicoffriendshipachance!” Sunset covered her mouth and puffed out her cheeks as she stifled more hacking coughs.

“Uh… Sounds horrible…” Adagio said.

“Yeah,” Aria agreed. “Like maybe worse than Sonata even!”

“Girls!” Sonata cried as she bent down. “This place has free ground muffins!” She declared as she surfaced with a half-squashed apple muffin with a bite mark taken out of it.

“I stand corrected,” Aria said as Sonata began munching on her mushy muffin.

Sunset took a few more deep breaths and stood back up to her full height. “It is pretty terrible, but it beats the hell out of the alternative. Like… it literally does that.”

Adagio smirked. “I think you’ve been misled on how to use the world ‘literally’.”

Sunset lowered her eyebrows slightly. “Oh, I know what I said.”

Adagio’s smirk vanished. “Look, we didn’t come to this school to hunt for scraps!”

“Oh my gosh!” Sonata squealed in delight. “They’re growing apple fritters here too!”

Aria crossed her fingers and closed her eyes. “Oh please get a bacterial infection and die… Oh please, oh please…”

“Most of us didn’t come to this school to hunt for scraps,” Adagio corrected. “If getting what we want means some sort of magical showdown, then so be it… Come on girls…” With that, Adagio and the three girls turned and walked away.

“FINE!” Sunset shouted after them. “I can use a few more people the school hates at least as much as me! Go ahead! Fall on your faces! I’ll be the first in line to point and laugh this time!”

Sunset watched as the girls made their way to the school. She sighed and shook her head.

“This is going to suck!”