Second Chances

by friedlambo

Rating: mature
Tags: Comedy, Crossover, Random, Dark
Length: 988

Twilight is sick and tired of Spike's new hobby

Spike is doing drugs, and she's trying to help him. How will Twilight get by this pleasant hell?

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-08-11 05:39:35 UTC

Chapter 1

Twilight was currently walking through the dark woods of Ponyville. Tears were streaming down her face freely, burning as they did so. Tonight, just like the past few nights, was another disaster. She just had to get away, NEEDED to get away.

Away from Spike, and her library.

It was another night of Spike yelling and screaming at her for being so up-tight and nosy about all of the things he was getting himself into. But, then again, was she really being that bad? Was caring for the person you love really that bad? It was worrying her sick to see Spike take those needles and inject himself with the fluid more vicious than the demon's saliva. Every day, his attitude would get worse, and so would his cravings.

Day by day, he slowly turned into the menacing dragon that he was, and it was driving Twilight crazy, to say the least.

Damn that was so

Hella bag of dirt

Fishing is for

Green company

Yes, we did

“Oh Spike, why can't you just wake up from this hell and eat my pussy?” sighed Twilight as she looked up into the night sky, letting more tears fall down her...butt-cheeks.

Suddenly, just as she was about to fucking kill herself, she hears a rustling of leaves and branches out past a few bushes in front of her. Startled, she looks up and starts to back away.

“H-hello? Who's there!?” she asked.

No response.

The rustling of leaves seem to get louder, and just before Twilight could back away far enough, a small animal-like thing suddenly comes out of the bushes and in front of her. The creature seems to be panting heavily.

“Oh man, these woods are nothing but trouble!” said the animal as he brushed off some sticks and dirt from his knees. It looks up from its knees to see a startled Twilight standing there, completely silent.

The creature and her could only stare into each other's eyes.

“W-what the actual frying biscuit fuck are you!?” screamed the animal.

“I could ask the same thing!” responded Twilight.

“Well, I'm Ross the Raichu, and I'm..wait a second, are you a mega-evolution of Rapidash? How cool!”

“A-a what now?”

Ross just gave her a blank expression.

“You mean, you're not? Then, I guess that means.. you're not a Pokemon?”

“Um... no, I'm definitely not whatever the fuck that is you just said.”

Some more rustling could be heard behind Ross. He turned around, and let out a sigh.

“Come on, Napoleon, you've been taking way too.... N-Napoleon! W-watch out for that tree branch!”

“Huhh!? A-AAAAArrrrghghghghglglblblglbl!”

Napoleon the Floatzel tripped and fell, allowing a large, thick branch to go straight through his stomach and out of his back. Blood was gushing profusely everywhere, showering everything that was within range, including Ross and Twilight.

“AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!” screamed Twilight as she was being covered in the gore.

“Damn it, Napoleon! Not again! What do you have to say for yourself?”

“Aaaaaaarrfhhgghblblblblbl”

It was no use. Nothing came out but sounds of pure torture and choking of blood.

“Well, now that that's out of the way, would you like to fuckie fuckie on my pussy?” asked Twilight

Ross had been waiting for this.

“I-I never thought that something so divine would ever actually happen to me. Oh dear god thank you.” Ross said as he looked up into the heavens.

A ray of light shined upon him, as if God himself acknowledged his thanks.

Without a moment's hesitation, Ross ran up to Twilight, grabbed her by her hips, and shoved his prickly and shocking cock into Twilight. He came instantly.

“Oh dear video gameeeeeeeessss.” Twilight hissed in ecstacy.

Phlegmatic Godchild.

Doritos are the only leaf of small hurtful omega shenron

“I'm nowhere NEAR through with you yet, pony. Prepare to feel my ICE CREAM.”

“Teeth?” she asked.

“Noooooooooo.” came Ross' bored reply.

To her surprise, Ross picked her up and slammed her into the ground so hard, that she exploded.

“I-I am a CHITOGE.”

Raku farts.

“A-Aaaaasrhrhrghghghghghghghgh!” Napoleon gargled.

Just as Ross was about to leave Napoleon for dead, he heard a rustling of movements from behind him. He turns around to see the bloody and crippled body of Twilight levitate in the air and heal itself to reveal Twilight once again.

Every day, the garlods of Shinobi cheese faggots arise from the waters to feed upon my fellow urethras. Please oh god yes whenever you yes into my yes, I want you to yes me so hard that you will yes.

Yes of yes this was so yes, but yesterday's yes was a lot more yes than his yes of fucking yes.

Yes.

Yes oh yes, why are you putting that yes into my yes.

“That was the biggest mistake that you could have ever made, ferklin. I will now extend my head and whisper words of utmost shrimple nipple upon your decoy. Fuck.” Twilight said.

Suddenly, much to her AND Ross' surprise, Napoleon slowly began to stand up, despite his massive injury. He started panting really heavily, and slowly raised his head to look at the other two.

“Y-you monsters. How could-how could you just sit there while I'm nearly dying, and not at least even give me girl from backyard sleep broom over the fence of great keyboard condo officials!”

Ross and Twilight were so fucking confused by his words, that they just fucking exploded into thousands of heart-shaped pieces.

“I-I am a GOD.” he said.

Bacon.

First, you pour the eggs into the fryer. After that, you put your penis on the frying pan, turn the stove to “high,” and sit back and relax as you make yourself a fresh batch of fucking pain.

Mother-fucker.

Fucking shit, there are thirty more words needed in order for this sorry-ass excuse of a fiction to be accepted onto this site. Would you like to have some yes?

Yes?

Yes.