Drums of War

by Vlad

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Celestia, Crossover, Dark, Alternate Universe, Human, Sad, Main 6, Princess Luna, Changelings, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Queen Chrysalis, Adventure
Length: 6651

A visitor to Equestria isn't who he seems

Years ago, a lone human found his way into Equestria with nothing but the clothes on his back and a watch in his pocket. Sheltered by Princess Celestia herself, Harold Saxon learned of this magical new land alongside her bright young pupil, Twilight Sparkle.

Fast-forward to now, Mr. Saxon and Twilight are closer than ever in the little town of Ponyville. But when a certain spirit of chaos gives him a push in the right direction, he discovers the watch isn't quite what it seems, and he isn't quite human.

"Harold, please...why are you doing this? What did we do?"

"Hush, now...listen to your Master."

Published 2014-08-11 08:50:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-10-01 05:28:52 UTC

Harold Saxon: Human

I awoke with a gasp, sweat rolling down my forehead. My blurry eyes scanned my room in a panic, my body remaining absolutely still to pick up any odd sounds. After roughly ten seconds of pure terror, I managed to settle down. Just a dream... I told myself, pressing my palms against my face. It was only a dream. Taking a deep, shaky breath, I composed myself before rapid thuds against the floor lead to my bedroom door being opened.

"Harold, is everything okay?" I smiled. Sweet Twilight, always checking in at the slightest sign of distress. My smile only grew when I saw her disheveled mass of purple hair. "It was the dream, wasn't it?"

Instantly, the smile fell from my face. The burnt-orange sky, the shimmering towers, the drums... I dreamt of them almost every night, and it never made any more sense. What did any of it mean?I knew there was more, but almost everything was lost upon awakening. Everything but those damnable drums...

Bu-bu-de-dum, bu-bu-de-dum, bu-bu-de-dum... The incessant noise plagued me for hours after waking, on my bad days. Despite this, I'd managed to make a decent life for myself. The only downside was, of course, the dreams.

My silence must've been enough to tell the mare what happened, because in my sleepy stupor I failed to notice her move until she was pressed against my side. "Harold...if the medicine isn't working, you know we need to tell Princess Luna." I flinched out of my momentary space-out, staring down at the unicorn mare.

"I'd rather not. I can deal with this. Nightmares never hurt anybody, right?" My smile didn't reassure her much, I could tell. But something just seemed...off about Luna. Like she could see something I couldn't. Nonetheless, Twilight relented and left me alone on the bed.

"If you're not comfortable around her, just say so." Was I really that transparent? "I promised Applejack I'd meet her at the farm, will you be alright here by yourself?"

I rolled my eyes and pushed a hand through my short brown hair. "Not sure, I think the Fantasy section is plotting something." One of the perks of living in a library? I never get bored. Barely three months in Ponyville and I'd already read almost every book here, but you never know what you can miss on the first read-through.

I suppose that's one of the things that brought Twilight and I together: we're both tremendous nerds.

Twilight rolled her eyes and muttered something under her breath before leaving me alone in my room.

Standing, I gave a couple quick stretches before donning my usual attire. One of Twilight's new friends, another unicorn named Rarity, had made me a rather crisp new suit in exchange for a few errands. Perfectly tailored and made of the finest materials, I felt like nothing short of a millionaire as I pocketed my watch and went about my day.

Bu-bu-de-dum, bu-bu-de-dum, bu-bu-de-dum...

...Nope, not even that could ruin my mood.

But this could. I hid under the awning of a small shop, watching with disbelief as the downpour of chocolate rain reduced everything in sight to a soggy, sugary mess.

And it all started out so well... There was no way I was going out in that in my new suit. What the Hell happened? My eyes caught a thoroughly soaked Twilight running through the milky streets, her assistant Spike huffing behind her. "Twilight!" I shouted over the pitter-patter, "what the Hell's going on?!"

"Not sure! No time! Canterlot!" Her speech was almost unintelligible, but I was able to catch the gist of it. Groaning, I dashed out into the suit-ruining shower and ran alongside the pony.

"Then I'm coming with you!" I was met with silence until we were all in the library, a sticky ruined mess.

"N-..." Twilight huffed, panting almost like a dog. "N-no...You stay here. Ponies listen to you." I almost contradicted her, but thought better of it. Ponies did seem to follow my directions without question more often than not. Twilight being the only exception.

I nodded my reluctant assent. "At least tell me you're not going alone?"

She shook her head. "The girls are coming with me." I nodded in understanding. In the months since Twilight and I had arrived in Ponyville, she had made several close friends. My favorite of which was Rarity, the unicorn fashionista. Followed closely by Applejack and Fluttershy. The former was down-to-earth and a joy to talk to, while the latter was just too adorable not to love.

My thoughts took a turn at the last two, however. Rainbow Dash was far too brash and loud for my tastes, and never truly got over her initial distrust of me. Pinkie Pie, however, was another beast entirely. I shuddered lightly, my mouth forming a grim line.

"Harold...are you alright?" I heard Twilight ask, jarring me out of my thoughts.

I grinned and looked down at myself. "Yeah, just dreading what Rarity will say when she sees what happened to her suit..."

Twilight chuckled and shook her head. "I'll let her down gently." Her expression turned serious, looking me dead in the eyes. "You stay out of trouble. Understand?"

I rolled my eyes and waved her off. "Yeah sure, I'll be fine. You're gonna be late, you know."

One panicked "Omigosh!" later, and I was alone in the library.

I chuckled at the silly pony before making my way up to the restroom. It was always fun to see Twilight, usually so calm and collected, completely lose it. It was quirks like that that made me gravitate towards her. In a world of magic, manticores, vengeful goddesses and talking unicorns, seeing something so human was a treat. I was still smiling when I stripped off the sticky mess of a suit and hopped in the shower. At least this is still water... I smirked as the scalding shower beat into my back. It's the little things, I suppose.

One question still burned at me, though. What had caused this? Even in a land like Equestria, it just didn't rain dairy. Even the whole fiasco with Nightmare Moon seemed mundane in comparison to something so...random.

"It doesn't make any sense..." I mumbled to myself as I began to wash the sweet drink from my skin.

Tick Tock Goes the Clock

Bored. I paced around the library, hands fidgeting with my 'casual-wear'. The hoodie and jeans were what I came here in, well-worn and threadbare. But they were very comfortable. BORED!

Twilight still hadn't come back, it was still raining chocolate, and Spike was using Twilight's absence to take a nap. There was nothing to do. BOOOORED!!! I flung myself into a wooden chair carved from a stump, shaking my head. Come on, keep it together... I growled and slapped myself a few times. "This is ridiculous..."

Standing up, I moved to the window, looking at the sticky, brown mess outside. C'mon, c'mon, there has to be something to do...

"Beautiful, isn't it?"

I whirled around, looking for where the voice came from. The playful, masculine voice sounded like it was coming from right behind me, but I saw nothing. Please tell me I'm not hearing things...

"Of course, it's nothing compared to the chaos you used to wreak." I looked up, to see some...thing hovering near the ceiling, my watch between it's mismatched forelegs. "I must say, I'm impressed."

"What the Hell are you?" I blurted out, staring at the random mash of creatures floating in the air. It's scarlet and gold eyes glanced down to me for a split second before it simply appeared less than half a meter from my face.

"My boy, I'm your biggest fan." The monster grinned, massive white eyebrows furrowing over it's mismatched eyes. "Call me Discord." He snapped the cover of my watch down and tossed it to me. "That's a fantastic piece of clockwork you've got there."

I snatched my watch out of the air and stuffed it into my pocket. "I don't know what you're talking about. I don't have fans, I'm just a nobody." I scowled at the laughter my statement received. Like he knows something I don't... My scowl deepened. Who doesn't?

"Ohoho, and you actually believe it! To think you've been sitting right under Celestia's nose and she was none the wiser..."

His mocking tone was grating on me. I clenched my fist around my watch, glaring up at what I could only describe as a chimera. "Would you leave? I have things to do."

The irksome beast merely continued. "Oh, I don't doubt that... but first, answer one question?" He slithered closer, resting a matted, filthy lion-paw on my shoulder, followed by an ominous, "why have you never opened the watch?"

My mind screeched to a halt. "...How do you know about that?" I inwardly flinched at the wavering of my voice. The last thing I wanted was for this creature to know he'd gotten under my skin.

"It's quite amazing, isn't it?" Discord rambled, "something these ponies could never understand. Not even Celestia and Luna could comprehend living forever." The beast, suddenly far more terrifying than irritating, looked me dead in the eyes. "Seeing everything. Infinite universes, every single creature on every floating rock...It drives a man mad."

Bu-bu-de-dum, bu-bu-de-dum, bu-bu-de-dum...

"But you already know that, don't you?" Those eyes... I couldn't look away. The drums pounded ceaselessly in my ears, sending the hairs on the back of my neck standing on end. My mind screamed at me to run, but my body refused past pathetically weak tremors. "Even if you don't see it yet, you know there's more."

"Stop it..." I growled out, forcing my eyes shut. I could hardly hear my own voice over the Bu-bu-de-dum, bu-bu-de-dum, bu-bu-de-dum in my head, my fingertips absently tapping against my thigh.

"Why don't you open it?"

My eyes shot open, and I bared my teeth. "I SAID STOP IT!" I was about to continue...

But I was alone. There was no sign of the creature anywhere. I only had a second to stand confused before the door opened, and Twilight's friends piled in.

Chaos. It was absolute chaos. The oddly desaturated ponies were being unreasonably cruel to one-another, but especially Twilight. It had started innocently enough, a game of keep-away, but had eventually gone out of control. Twilight sat in the center of the room, fuming beneath a tin bucket while Fluttershy openly mocked her. Rarity was jealously guarding a boulder, and the rest were...well, I wasn't paying much attention.

Did Discord do this?

The sight of Twilight being harassed was enough to force my hand. "Everyone, listen up!" I said, no louder than a normal speaking voice. Nonetheless, the pandemonium ceased immediately and I was met by four sets of slate-grey eyes staring right at me. Where's Rainbow Dash? I asked myself, before shaking my head and capitalizing on the silence. "Everyone but Twilight, get out."

Fluttershy flew up to me, glaring at me from a breath away. "What if we don't? What's a bald monkey like you gonna do, throw a banana at us?" I held my ground. Even with...whatever it was affecting her, she was far too adorable to be even slightly intimidating.

I stared directly into her eyes, making sure my voice was as clear and authoritative as possible. "Get. Out."

As if in a trance, all four left in perfect silence. I slammed the door behind them, pressing my fingers to my temples. Bu-bu-de-dum, bu-bu-de-dum, bu-bu-de-dum, why wouldn't it stop? I sighed and walked over to the trembling purple unicorn sitting in the center of the room, pulling the pail off her head and tossing it to the side. "Okay. What the Hell just happened?"

No response, beyond a tiny sniffle. I rolled my eyes and scooped her up, taking her to bed. "You will explain this when you calm down." Setting her down and pulling the blanket over her, I walked back down to my chair and picked up a book.

"Supernaturals: Natural remedies and cure-alls that are simply super". I'd read it cover-to-cover thrice already, but it was better than nothing.

No it wasn't. No matter how hard I tried to focus on the book, my mind always wandered to the barely noticeable weight of my watch in my pocket. Before long I had foregone the book entirely, simply running my thumb over the intricate circular designs over the timepiece. Part of me was beyond perplexed. I'd had this thing for years, yet...I'd never actually looked at it. Never put much thought into it. It was just...there.

Why don't you open it?

The memory put a chunk of ice in my heart. Some unnamed impulse told me it would be a bad idea. That opening the watch would be the equivalent of Pandora's box.

"What...are you?" I muttered, turning the unassuming piece of metal in my hands.

Time Lord

The rest of the day passed in a blur. Apparently, Twilight tried to get her asshat friends to use the Elements of Harmony to put Discord away, but they were too asshattish for the Elements to work. She even tried getting Spike to help, fat lot of good it did. Nonetheless, she eventually found a way to come out on top as heroes do. Pinkie Pie was annoying again, Rainbow Dash graced us all with her awesome presence, and Fluttershy remembered she was adorable.

At least Discord's gone, so there's that. I sat at the foot of my bed, head in my hands as I tried to block out the now constant drumming. Good God, it was driving me mad...it had never been this bad. I was fairly certain Discord had something to do with it.

Why haven't you opened it? I glared accusingly at my watch, tossed haphazardly onto my bedside table. What was so special about it, anyway? It was just a watch. An entirely ordinary ticking timepiece I just happened to have with me when I arrived.

There was nothing strange about it. Lots of people had watches. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "I am Harold Saxon..." I muttered under my breath, "I am a forty-four year old man from Leeds. And there is nothing off about my watch."

"Talking to yourself isn't healthy," Twilight chided, walking into my room unannounced. I didn't pay much mind, we'd been living together since she was just a filly. I smiled behind my palms at the thought. She was so adorable... The clearing of a throat made me look up.

"Yes, how can I help you?" I tried to keep the tension out of my voice. Failing, obviously. Twilight gave me a worried glance, levitating a cup of tea towards me. I took it gratefully, taking a small sip.

Perfect. Just...perfect. I gave the lavender mare a smile, prompting her to climb up beside me. Taking another drawn-out sip, I tilted my head back and closed my eyes in relaxation. "A cup of tea is a cup of peace, Twilight...thank you." I was rewarded with a giggle and a nuzzle to my shoulder.

"You've been acting weird all day, Mister. Sweet-talk won't get you out of this one." My smile dropped. "Come on...tell me what happened."

I shuddered and leaned into the inquisitive purple unicorn. "I told you, it was just the dreams. I've been feeling...off. A lot, lately."

The weight on my side shifted as Twilight pulled back to look at me. "You've never told me what you dream about. What's so bad about it?"

Where to begin... "I...uhh...It's hard to explain." This was true. The visuals in my dreams were things straight out of a fantasy, but so vivid it seemed more real than the waking world.

"Try."

I gulped. How? Taking a deep breath, I screwed my eyes shut. "I'm in a field. The grass is red as blood, tall up to my waist. I'm running, but..." I shuddered and forced out, "but I'm not running from anything. I feel like a child, playing with a dear friend." Why am I getting so worked up? I tried to force myself to calm down. I was so...upset all of a sudden. The dream was complete nonsense, I'd never even seen that boy outside of the dream!

"Anything else?" Twilight pressed on.

I took a shuddering breath. "W-we...We speak, but I can never remember what we say. There's only one word I can remember, but it doesn't even mean anything!" My voice rose towards the end, until my fist slammed against the mattress.

Why am I so angry?

I started to calm down when I felt a hoof gently rubbing circles against my back. I looked over at Twilight, using the sleeve of my hoodie to wipe some unexplainable tears from my eyes.

I needed to look into this. People just don't get this upset over dreams.

"What does he say?"

My mouth went dry as the word echoed through my mind. My hearts—heart froze, and I tried to summon the necessary energy to vocalize it.

"Time Lord."

Twilight Sparkle was concerned. She had just cast a sleeping-spell on her oldest friend—aside from Shiny and Spike, of course—after hearing about some very disturbing dreams.

Orange sky? Two suns? "Spike!" She shouted, not bothering to quiet herself for Harold's sake. The spell wouldn't wear off for a good ten hours. "I need you to take a letter!"

The pitter-patter of little feet approached, and her ever-loyal assistant stood at attention with a scroll and quill at the ready. "Here!"

Twilight cleared her throat.

Dear Princess Celestia,

I apologize for sending a letter so soon after the Discord fiasco, but I need your help. Harold has been acting increasingly strange lately, suffering from insomnia and chronic night-terrors. It's begun to affect his behavior, and to be frank, he's scaring me. A simple sleep-spell helps him get his rest, but I'm not sure what kind of damage is being done to his mind.

Please, if there's anything you or Princess Luna can do to help, I would greatly appreciate it.

Your Faithful Student,

Twilight Sparkle

The unicorn gave a nod of approval, prompting Spike to toss it into the air and burn it with his enchanted flames. Letting her eyes follow the wisp of smoke as it traveled out the window towards Canterlot, Twilight gulped.

Please hurry...

Luckily, she only had to wait a moment before Spike belched out a new scroll. Grabbing it with her magic out of reflex, Twilight immediately set on the reply.

To my most faithful student,

I'm afraid there's not much I can do. My sister, however, has recently taken up her duties as a guardian of dreams. If his nightmares are so troubling, I'm sure Luna would be happy to help. If his problems persist, however, I request that you bring him to us as soon as possible.

Sincerely,

Princess Celestia

I was surrounded by reds and oranges. My footfalls whispered through the tall crimson grass, drowned out by my boisterous laughter and the laughter of #^$*@. The wind rushed through my dark hair, my grin threatening to split my face in half.

That's what I loved about the hills of %$&*^$#!%. Unlike the stuffy halls of the Time Lord Academy, out here we were free to be children. Free like we'd always wanted to be.

It was what brought #^$*@ and I together in the first place. Ever since we were five and four respectively. Two years of friendship, all started from three simple words.

"Let's run away!"

We made plans. We went to the museums, gawking at the old Time Machines and space-ships of our ancestors. And we played. We played until I was eight.

That was when it changed.

I was first. At one year older than #^$*@, I was to become a Time Lord before him. I was taken deep into the Academy, deeper than I'd ever gone before. And they forced me to look into the light.

And I heard drums.

Sweet Dreams Are Made of These: Luna POV

Author's Note

This is likely to be less-than-well received, but is necessary. I am moving, and this was written in about fifteen minutes. So cut me some slack on this chapter. The next will be better.

Sweet Dreams Are Made of These: Luna POV

I've always loved the dreams of my little ponies. It is a small victory that, despite their waking adoration for my older sister, I was privy to their deepest, most basic selves. I knew my ponies in ways Celestia never could.

Their hopes.

Their fears.

Their desires.

The pony mind is a wondrous thing, and it is my duty to guard it when it's most vulnerable. This mind, however, was not that of a pony.

I entered the dream as easily as any other, finding myself in a sea of tall, scarlet grass. Odd colors were nothing new to me, dreams rarely concerned themselves with such fine details. The burnt-orange sky above was written off just as easily. The only thing that struck me as odd was my isolation.

I was completely alone. The dreamer almost always manifested in their own dreams. The only explanation for the absence was either a complete loss of self—incredibly rare, and a sign of severe mental trauma—or a dream-world more massive than a normal pony could conjure.

Neither seemed pleasant for me at the moment. The dreamer would have to have lived as long as Celestia or I to have a mind that strong, and nothing that lives so long is completely stable.

The wind sent waves through the field of red, and with nothing better to do, I began to explore.

The air was...different. It seemed thinner, somehow. Though I didn't need to breathe, it was a nagging thought in the back of my mind that should this have been reality, I'd likely suffocate. It was difficult to tell which direction I was walking, due to the presence of two suns—two, it irked me slightly but I shook it off easily enough—so I was forced to simply walk until I found something interesting.

It was almost hard to call this a simple dream, now. The natural laws seemed to hold just as well here as in reality, despite the slightly lower gravity. Not as low as the moon, in fact barely a noticeable difference from Equestria, but enough to make note of. It seemed less like a dream and more like an alien world. Even Celestia can't conjure entire worlds in her dreams...what is this?

"Gallifrey."

The voice caused me to let out an undignified shriek and whirl around, coming face-to-face with an alien yet familiar sight. I'm ashamed to say I recoiled as the human—no...he was too short. But he looked human, aside from the strange, chubby proportions. Larger head and torso, slightly larger eyes, small button nose and mouth, and little chubby limbs.

He looked almost adorable. Perhaps this is what human foals looked like? I pushed the thought from my mind. "Would you mind repeating that?"

The child looked out over the alien landscape with a vaguely sad expression. "Gallifrey. It's the name of this place. The red fields of Gallifrey."

I was stumped. I've never heard of such a land...This is the strangest dream I think I've ever seen! "And who are you, little one?"

The chubby-faced human looked at me—more looked through me, I noted with worry—for several seconds before finally responding with a single word. "Koschei."

I blinked, the strange name unwieldy and foreign to my tongue. Even stranger was the immense sense of loss the empty place exuded. What would normally be a flowing, wondrous place right out of a fantasy felt...hollow. It crept into my bones. I did not want to be here longer than necessary. "Why are you here? Should you not be at home?" I asked, wings twitching anxiously at my sides.

Koschei looked on with his unwavering gaze, before sitting down in the tall grass. I noted with absent amusement that the top of his head barely cleared the flora. "I'm running away. My friend is coming with me, we're gonna steal a time-machine."

Now I was concerned. While the concept of time-machines was beyond me—Starswirl had declared time-magic too unpredictable for general use, and the matter had been dropped—the idea of a foal so casually planning to become a thief and abandon home was troubling. I contemplated settling down beside the boy—or what I assumed was a boy—but thought better of it. With such a dreary atmosphere, getting too comfortable would be unwise. Nonetheless, I was here for a reason, and had to press on. "Why are you running?"

A small, chubby hand reached out and grabbed my leg just above the fetlock, and the scene before me melted away.

It looked like a castle chamber, when I regained my bearings. A dark room, and by the damp coolness, deep in the heart of the structure. Koschei, now in more professional robes, was standing beside me. He appeared transfixed by something, a fluid blue glow rippling over his skin and into his eyes. I followed his gaze over to—

Stars, what IS that?! Immediately, I was just as enraptured by the chaotic fissure, the glow from the deep blues and purples showing such wonderful and horrible things. Everything was poured into me all at once, far more information than could possibly be processed in a thousand lives shoved into my mind. In just a second I felt as if my head would explode. A minute, and I was hoping it would.

It's too much...Oh sister, I can't take it! But just as I was about to rip myself away from the dream, a peculiar sound reached my ears.

Thu-thu-thu-thump

And I was again greeted by blackness.

However it was not long until I was met by another scene. Koschei seemed older now, perhaps his early teens. The faint thumping haunted me, but it was easily tuned out. The teen was pacing back out in the field, dark bags under his eyes and the beginnings of stubble on his chin. "Koschei!" Dark eyes turned to me, but the boy, now nearly a man remained silent. Continuing, I walked towards him cautiously. "What was that? That..." The image of the hole in reality flashed into my mind, causing me to shudder and nurse the beginnings of a migraine.

The boy gave a smirk, the first expression other than indifference I had seen on his face. Turning fully towards me, he began, "that was what Time Lords call 'The Untempered Schism'. A gap in time and space." His smirk turned into a full grin. "What you saw was just an echo of it. A memory. If anything but a Time Lord were to look at it, their brains would burn up from the information." His fingers tapped out the four-beat rhythm against his thigh. "Time Lords make children look into it to 'inspire' them." His grin fell into a bitter frown. "No wonder the lot of them's completely mad..." Tap tap tap tap. Koschei looked up towards me with a somewhat accusatory expression, continuing the tapping against his leg. "So tell me princess...what are you doing inside my head?"

Thu-thu-thu-thump, thu-thu-thu-thump, thu-thu-thu-thump, thu-thu-thu-thump, thu-thu-thu-thump, thu-thu-thu-thump, thu-thu-thu-thump, thu-thu-thu-thump, thu-thu-thu-thump, thu-thu-thu-thump!

I gave a cry of alarm and bolted upright, my usually flowing mane plastered to my skull with sweat. Trembling, I slid myself out of bed. What kind of malevolent beast could eject me from a dream?

I composed myself, before I levitated a blank scroll and quill towards myself.

Dear Twilight Sparkle,

There is indeed something incredibly wrong with Mr. Saxon's psyche. I fear there may be a malevolent force in his mind, much like during my transformation into Nightmare Moon. Currently it is only affecting his subconscious, but it is powerful. I can't go into full detail of what I saw in him, but I request that you bring him to Canterlot immediately for further testing. I only hope we can fix this before my fears are realized.

Sincerely,

Princess Luna of Equestria

Hello Auntie

I sat in the private carriage, staring out the window and absently tapping on the seat beside me.

Ta-ta-ta-tap.

My teeth were clenched, my entire body tensed up. The drumming was constant, now. When I was awake, when I was asleep, it just. Never. Stopped. It was driving me insane. I sighed and closed my eyes, the annoying droning eating away at my already frayed nerves.

Ta-ta-ta-tap, ta-ta-ta-tap, ta-ta-ta-tap, ta-ta-SLAM! I hammered my fist against the side of the carriage, resting my head in my hands. The bang startled Twilight, who stared with a worried expression from the seat across from me. "Just hold on for a little longer, okay? Hey..." I looked up, making Twilight flinch slightly. I knew I must've looked terrible. I felt terrible. "It's going to be okay, Harold."

I nodded with a noncommittal grunt, my head twitching from the pent-up energy. Oh God, it's so BORING! I sighed and shook my head. "We could've flown. Celestia offered to lend us a chariot. But noooo, we had to take the train. The five-hour long train ride."

"We'll still get there, okay? Just...take a nap, if you need to. We'll be there before you know it." I stared blankly at Twilight's forced smile. I knew she knew I couldn't sleep much, so there was no point in bringing it up. I sighed and continued staring out the window.

...Ta-ta-ta-tap. Ta-ta-ta-tap. Ta-ta-ta-tap. Ta-ta-ta-tap. I smirked when I saw Twilight's ears twitch. At least I wasn't suffering alone. Ta-ta-ta-tap, ta-ta-ta-tap. Twilight took a deep breath, closing her eyes and pressing her ears back against her head. I grinned wider, pausing in my tapping. She gave a vaguely grateful glance, until she saw my Cheshire smile. "...Don't you dare."

My grin widened, threatening to split my head in half.

"Don't. You. Dare." She hissed, narrowing her eyes. Well, I thought, You should've given me something to entertain myself!

"This is the song that never ends..."

"I said NO!" Twilight snarled, to which I nodded impishly.

"It just goes on and on my friends!

Somebody started singing it, not knowing what it was!

And now they will keep singing it forever, just because:

This is the song that never ends!" I didn't have a good singing voice. Even still, I sang deliberately off-key just for Twilight.

"Somepony make it stop!" She wailed, putting her forelegs over her head.

"It just goes on and on my friends!

Somebody started singing it, not knowing what it was!"

I was roughly shoved out of the stationary train by an irate purple unicorn, narrowly avoiding splattering on the ground. "You are so childish!" I ignored the puzzled stares of the other patrons of Canterlot's train station, content to look back at Twilight with a mad grin.

"If you didn't react so well, I wouldn't poke fun!" I got out a single barking laugh before being shoved again, almost sending me off my feet.

"Shut up. We are going to see the Princess, and so help me if you even think about acting like this in front of her, I'll turn you into a toad!" I continued grinning through Twilight's tirade, waving at the puzzled pony passersby. "Eyes front, Harold!"

I rolled my eyes and sighed, walking just fast enough to keep a bit of distance between Twilight and myself. "I'm just bored, Twilight," I muttered, smile dropping from my face. "I've been bored since I came here." It was true. After reading the entire contents of both the Canterlot Library AND Golden Oaks, I had nothing to keep my mind busy. And with an idle mind came the drums. My mood instantly soured at the thought.

"...I know. But there's nothing I can do about that." If I didn't know better, I'd call her tone sympathetic. But wasn't she just furious with me not a minute ago? It was almost funny how quickly her mood could change. I smirked slightly. Ponies and their funny little heads...

It would be so much fun to watch them pop.

I stopped in my tracks. "Did you say something?" I stumbled forward when Twilight bumped into my back, releasing a frustrated groan.

"No...why?" She trotted around to face me, giving me a look somewhere between annoyed and concerned. I closed my eyes and shook my head, lightly thudding the heel of my palm against my forehead.

"No...nothing. Just my imagination." I sighed and continued walking towards the castle, suddenly feeling worse than I'd ever felt in the train. "Let's just get there so I can rest."

"Hearing voices isn't a good sign, Harold..." Twilight insisted, trotting by my side. "It's a good thing we got you here when we did, Celestia knows what'd happen if you hadn't said anything..."

"Well, I wouldn't have had to sit in a boring train for five hours, so there's that." There's no way I was letting her off that easy. I stared sourly ahead, stuffing my hands in my pockets.

"Would you shut up about the train?" Twilight harped, rolling her eyes. "We wouldn't have to come all the way here if you'd just gone to the doctor's like I asked."

My eyes hardened. "We've talked about this before. You know I hate doctors." And I did. They were arrogant, condescending, too-curious insufferable little know-it-alls.. I'm better off as far from them as possible.

Twilight shook her head and sighed, remaining silent until we were at the castle gates. We were let in with no hassle, and I avoided eye-contact with the guards as much as I could. The castle was as empty as I'd ever seen it, only punctuated by the occasional rushing maid trotting down the halls. As per usual, they stayed as far from me as they could. I hardly noticed; most ponies that didn't know me put a healthy amount of space between us.

Twilight magicked open the massive doors to the throne room, letting us walk in. I followed Twilight's purple butt with a sour grimace, trying to resist the urge to tap the infernal drum-beat against my thigh. As expected, Celestia had suspended any meetings so she could see us. I looked up at her and smiled slightly. What kind of ruler would put the entire country on hold for two nobodies?

Nonetheless, I was grateful. Celestia had been a mother of sorts since I'd arrived, or at least I saw her as such. I'm not afraid to admit that I relied heavily on her mercy in my first years. I stepped to the side of my roommate and knelt down, bowing my head. "Princess."

I hardly reacted when Celestia, abandoning all pretense of formality, enveloped me in her golden magical aura and pulled me forward for a bone-crushing hug. "HRRRK!" The air was driven from my lungs with a hoarse groan, and my head lolled back in the furry death-grip.

"Don't even think about bowing to your auntie, young man!" My eye twitched, and I'm pretty sure my face was turning blue. If there's a god, PLEASE let somepony distract her! No such luck. "Harry?" Celestia pulled away, letting me hang limply in her forelegs and wings. "You feel light. Has Twilight been feeding you?" She turned to the snickering unicorn. "Have you been feeding him?"

"Yes Princess, he's just scrawny." I pouted at the wholly inaccurate description. The word is 'athletic'. Twilight continued, "Princess, I think he needs to breathe." And with that, Celestia released me and set me on my feet, dusting me off and trying to smooth out the wrinkles on my suit. I made a show of gasping for breath, holding my throat with my hands.

"Air...precious...air...!"

I was then lightly slapped on the back of the head courtesy of a massive white wing. "Don't be a drama-queen, Harry."

I pouted, stuffing my hands in my pockets. "You named me Harold, auntie, it'd be lovely if you could struggle all the way to the end."

Twilight chimed in, "sure thing Harry!"

I turned and gave her my Angry Face, receiving a playful rasberry in return before turning to face Celestia. "So, you know why we're here?"

Celestia immediately sobered, schooling herself into her usual mask of infallible serenity. "I'm afraid so," she began, her expression betraying only a hint of her worry. "Unfortunately I can only delay the Nobles so long before they start asking questions, so I can't help you right away. I'm sure you remember Twilight's old room?" We both nodded. "Go and make yourselves at home. My sister will come by to help you tonight."

Twilight and I nodded simultaneously, bidding our farewells for the day. The walk out of the throne-room was certainly calmer, and almost uncomfortably quiet. I followed Twilight through the wide corridor, taking seemingly random turns through the interior of the vast castle. I let myself hunch slightly, sighing in exhaustion and trying to comb my fingers through my thoroughly mussed hair.

Twilight looked over her withers at me with a worried expression. "Is everything alright?"

I nodded. "It's Celestia. She seemed more...affectionate than usual." I shuddered slightly. "I haven't seen her like that since..."

"I know," Twilight quickly interjected, not wanting The Incident brought up any more than I did. "But think, she hasn't gotten to spend any time with you in months!" Twilight turned, almost leaning against me. "Anypony would miss their baby after that long."

My eyebrows furrowed. "She's not my mother, Twilight. You know that. She knows that. She only acts like that when something bad's about to happen."

"...There's no point in worrying about that now," Twilight finished, continuing down the hall. "Besides, that's why we're here! To stop something bad from happening. Now come on, you need to rest."

I grumbled incoherently and followed.

Twilight and I walked into our foalhood living-quarters, untouched since we left. Except for the conspicuous lack of dust and books strewn about the floor. I yawned, fighting to keep my eyes open. Twilight followed suite, muttering about contagious yawns before tromping to the bedroom. I shrugged and made to flop down on the sofa, but was caught midair in a magenta aura and pulled into the bedroom with her.

I squirmed and protested with several choice words and phrases of both English and Equestrian origin as my shoes, socks, jacket, tie, shirt, and trousers were expertly dropped from my airborn form along the way, until I was unceremoniously dropped into the bed alongside the exhausted mare. "No," she muttered, "you're the one that can't sleep. You are going to sleep in the bed."

"I'm sharing a bed with a mare, and I'm in my pants," I hissed, pulling the blanket up to my chin. I narrowed my eyes, glaring at Twilight. "Exactly what part of that is supposed to help me sleep?!"

Twilight rolled her eyes and pulled me against her barrel. "Just go the buck to sleep!" A flash of her horn, and the light was out. I knew better than to struggle. Even though I could physically overpower her as easily as I could breathe, she could just pull me back with her magic. I huffed and closed my eyes, trying to push it out of my mind and get some much needed rest.

...Thu-thump...thu-thump...thu-thump...thu-thump. Twilight's deep, muffled heartbeats drowned out the drumming. The warm fur against exposed skin melted me into a puddle of sleepy Saxon, and I was back home.

I fell asleep before I could register the drumming was gone.

Author's Note

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