When Angels Lose Their Way

~ * ~

        The Sparkle Guard unicorns cried out in alarm as cannon fire, now unimpeded, splashed down all around them. One vanished into a smear of red, spraying crimson mist all over the others. Fluttershy bellowed, “Come on! To the castle, now!”

        With Trixie in tow, she flew for the castle, sparing only a brief moment to scan the horizon. What she saw chilled her to the bone. Hordes of centaurs stampeded into the outskirts of Ponyville, charging with their weapons, sorcerers firing off spells left and right.

Fluttershy soldiered on, determined to get Trixie inside safely. The unicorns followed behind on the ground, galloping for all their might. She kept slow enough to watch over them, doing what she could to protect them from harm with gusts of wind. More than once she had to redirect cannonfire into the wrecks of buildings.

        Thankfully they reached the castle without further casualties. The castle thronged with civilians, everywhere, whole crowds of them camping in side rooms for lack of better places to go. She carefully moved in, landed inside the map room, where she let a first aid pony tend to Trixie. Spike jumped on her as soon as he spotted her, shouting about how glad he was she was back. She let him go, and found Big Macintosh staring at her.

        She pawed the floor with a hoof. “You were right,” she admitted.

        Big Macintosh's face was stony like granite. “Eeyup.”

        “Bulk... and Flitter... “ Shy mumbled. “They lost their lives. Because of me.”

        “Eeyup.”

        She whimpered underneath his gaze. “I... “

        Macintosh clapped a hoof to her shoulder, his eyes softening. “I'm sorry, Fluttershy.” He gripped her in a full body hug that left her shocked. “Thank you for savin’ my little sis.”

        Fluttershy deftly withdrew from his hug and smiled. “Of course.”

He glowered, bucking a stone pillar. Fluttershy leapt back at the gentle stallion's sudden expression of anger. “Damn it, none of ya’ll should have had to go through that,” he growled.

        “Don't grieve for me,” Shy said bitterly. “Grieve for Bulk. And Flitter.”

        “And the others we've lost,” Big Macintosh finished, nodding.

        “We can grieve later,” Trixie interrupted as she strode over, covered in bandages and sipping a bottle of water. “Right now we need to act!”

        Big Macintosh guided Fluttershy over to the map. “Spike and I got as many inside as we could,” he said. He waved at the display that showed the incoming wave of centaurs. Like a wave of blood, she thought morbidly, coming to drown Ponyville in a sea of red. “But we couldn't save everyone.” She watched as a few specks of blue left within the red wave winked out.

        Fresh screams erupted from the crowd of ponies throughout the castle as it shook from the thoom of cannon fire on the shields. Specks of plaster rained down from the ceiling. “Big Mac,” Fluttershy pleaded, “please tell me you got through to Canterlot.” To Twilight, she hoped, desperately. Fluttershy needed her now, more than ever.

        “Nope.” Fluttershy's heart sank. “Someone volunteered to try to run a message, despite the risk, but she didn’t get a hundred feet before turning into a pincushion.”

        “Oh... “ Fluttershy whimpered. “We have to do something!”

        “Well, we're not going to hold out for more than a day or two at this rate,” Trixie spat. She slammed a hoof against the map table, making it flicker.

        “But,” Shy started, “I thought you said—“

        “I said that before I realized just how huge an army is out there!” Trixie shouted. She jabbed at the map. “Look at how many cannons they're throwing at us. That's a whole battalion’s worth! We'd need Twilight herself powering the shields to hold up under this!”

        Fluttershy stared at the map. The orange glow at the enemy's rear caught her eye. “Then we have to cut off their supply,” she said.

        “Nope!” Big Macintosh stomped a hoof, cracking the floor beneath him. “No chance!”

        “No, no, Big Mac, she might be right,” Trixie admitted. She stared at Fluttershy, as if pondering her. “How do you propose we accomplish this? We can't send in a strike force; they'd be dead before they flew two feet.”

        Fluttershy shook her head. “Not a whole strike force, no. Just one pony.” She swallowed. “Me.”

        “What?!” Spike, who'd been listening quiet up until now, shrieked. “No, Fluttershy, you can't!”

        “Eeyup,” Big Macintosh added, gesturing at her various accumulated burns, cuts, and bruises. “You're hurt, and you're exhausted. You can barely stand, let alone take on an army!”

        It was true. Fluttershy quivered with the exertion she'd put herself through. The siren call of rest cried out to her, screaming to be heard. But... “It has to be me, Spike, Big Mac,” she said. She flared her wings, letting them crackle with power. “No one else here can fly fast enough, or hard enough, get past all those centaurs.” She stomped a hoof with determination. “And I have to do it right away. We can't wait just because I'm a bit tired!”

        Big Macintosh pursed his lips, staring at Trixie. She smirked back. “Trixie agrees with Fluttershy.”

        “Of course you do,” he grumbled.

        “And luckily, I even prepared for this,” Trixie beamed, her eyes aglow with a spark of her usual bombasity. “Amethyst!”

        Amethyst Star emerged from the crowd, carrying a large sphere of obsidian filled with a dull ruby red glow. A single raised sapphire gleamed on the front center. She floated it to Fluttershy, who held it in her hooves. “Here it is, ma'am.”

        “Something special you ordered?” Big Macintosh inquired.

        “You could say that,” Trixie said.

        “What is it?” Fluttershy asked, holding Spike gently away from drooling all over it.

        “A bomb!” Trixie grinned. Fluttershy gasped, almost dropping it. Spike dove for cover. Big Macintosh simply growled.

        “Specifically, a magic canceling explosive, rigged from a defective shield emitter. Trixie came up with the idea after our prior conversation, and ordered it made before she left,” Trixie elaborated. She lit her horn, creating a set of images of a little cartoon of a pony dropping the bomb over a glowing gate, and the gate exploding. “Simply press in the sapphire, and in ten seconds it will erupt in a cloud of magic canceling energy that'll disrupt every spark of magic in a five hundred foot radius!” Trixie coughed. “Ah, that... that includes your Rainbow Power, Fluttershy. You should make sure you're a safe distance before it detonates.”

        “That shouldn’t be an issue,” Fluttershy smiled. “I can just drop it and fly away before--”

        “You can’t do that,” Trixie said. At Fluttershy’s reproachful glare, she added, “Because the bomb is too unstable. If you let it fall from too shallow a height, it would break before exploding. Too high, and it’d explode uselessly.” Trixie sighed. “It’s not worth the risk. We’ll only have one shot at this. You’ll have to get it in on the ground.”

        “But… but that’s suicide!” Spike shrieked. “She’d be surrounded; she’d never get away in time!”

        A small part of Fluttershy thought that was just fine. Something she deserved, a final act to redeem herself for having cost Bulk and Flitter their lives. The rest of her trembled in fright at the thought. She didn't want to die. More than anything she didn't want to die. Bile rose in her throat as the room closed in around her. She couldn't do this. She couldn't. She'd done so much already. So much violence. So much blood. So… so weak...

        But then she forced herself to look at the crowd of ponies. She listened to the impacts of cannonfire, the shouts of Sparkle Guard setting up defenses and places to hold should the castle shields fall. She looked at the injured, some moaning in pain, others quiet but with distant, hollow gazes, like they were somewhere else entirely in their minds. She saw foals crying their hearts out for lost parents, and parents broken by the strain of having lost their children.

        The doubt faded from her heart. She put aside her exhaustion. Her fear. She was the only one who could save them. It was all up to her, to her… her strength. The strength she knew she possessed, deep down.

        She would not fail them.

        “I'll do it,” she declared. “Suicide or not, I'll do it.”

        Trixie gave her a weary smile. “Thank you, Fluttershy. I... I believe in you. And I… I owe you a debt. I will be quite irritated if you do not come back so I can repay it! It will make me look like a dishonorable charlatan!”

        “Eeyup.” Big Macintosh gave a smile of his own. “You're gonna do just fine.”

        Spike's face twisted, his claws gripping into fists, shaking. “Fine! Fine... “ he said, letting his claws relax. He puffed up his chest and stuck a claw in Fluttershy's face. “But you'd better come back, okay Fluttershy?! You'd better!” He crossed his arms over his chest. “I don't want to have to explain to Twilight why you're not around anymore.”

        She nodded, scooping him up into a hug. “I promise.”

        Trixie cleared her throat. “You'd better hurry, Fluttershy.” She pointed at the map. “The centaurs are almost at the shield's edge. It'll be much harder to get out there safely once they reach it.”

        “Right.” Fluttershy tucked the obsidian bomb into her mane, where it wouldn't fall. “Stay safe, everypony.”

        As she made for the skyway exit, Trixie barked, “Okay, everypony, listen up! Fluttershy's going to take out their base, but she needs your help to reach it! Distract the centaurs as long as you can, then get your rears back inside!”

        Fluttershy took to the air, followed by the few remaining uninjured Sparkle Guard pegasi. They flitted about, drawing centaur fire as she looked over the advancing centaurs, pillaging and burning everything in their path.

        With a deep breath, she rocketed straight up, flying as high as she dared till she was just below the top of the shield and—hopefully—above the height their arrows could reach. She took a moment to breath in deep a few times, filling her blood with needed oxygen. Then she poured on the speed, making a beeline directly for the portal.

        She hadn't realized until this moment just where the portal lay, in the same direction as her old cottage. The one she'd transformed into an animal sanctuary. Furious at the freshly realized violation, she flew on faster still.

        Her passage did not go unnoticed. Arrows flew by the dozens, most falling just short, but one or two grazed her flanks, scoring lines of red. Blasts of eldritch frost, flame, and lightning sizzled all around her, filling the air with the tang of ozone. Cannon fire thoomed in her direction, with shot rigged to explode into deadly clouds of shrapnel that she skirted past to the best of her ability, more than once taking a few cuts. Using every trick Rainbow Dash had ever taught or shown her she cartwheeled and whirled and looped through the sky, every ounce of effort poured into reaching her destination.

        At last the portal came into view, squatting atop the ruins of her animal shelter. A glittering assemblage of gemstones and steel shaped like a great round circle, it towered over the edge of the nearby forest. It held an inner circle of wavy blue light, like a shimmering pool of water turned on its side, that made odd sucking noises as centaurs and carts of supplies flowed from the other side.

        A massive titan of a centaur, the largest she'd seen yet, guarded the portal. He wore mithril barding coated in symbols she didn't understand, as well as a necklace of glittering emerald set with a ruby gem in the center. In his hands he carried a mighty black warhammer.

        She caught his eye almost immediately, and cringed. Yet to her surprise, she heard him bellow, “Cease fire!”

        The centaurs lowered their bows, the cannons quieted. Fluttershy hovered far above, more than a little confused, but grateful all the same for the respite.

        The centaur titan shifted his warhammer to his right hand and waved with his left. “Come, pony! Let us talk, warrior to warrior!” He must be their leader, she realized. She didn't trust him for an instant, fearing a trap.

        Still... he was giving her a chance to get close enough to set the bomb off, for whatever reason he might have. She'd be a fool to waste the chance, and she'd already been a fool far too much this night. So, steeling herself in case she needed to activate the bomb in a hurry, she floated gently down until she landed before him, folding her wings but not letting her aura of power drop.

        “So... you,” he said in a voice like a cement mixer churning gravel. He pointed a massive sausage of a finger at her. “I recognize you. You're one of Ponyville's leaders, aren't you?” He studied her more, and nodded. “Yes, Fluttershy! The one who stayed behind, while Princess Twilight pathetically tried to negotiate us out of taking what is rightfully ours.”

        She bristled at his insult. “It's not yours,” she said.

        He laughed a deep belly laugh, the kind that frightened foals and Fluttershy into hiding underneath their blankets. “But it is, whether you agree or not!” He held a hand to his chest. “I am Nessus, Commander of the Third Legion, tasked with wiping your town and everyone in it from the face of this planet.” He grinned toothily. “Does this anger you? Do you want to strike me down?”

        She unleashed a Stare upon him, a Stare full of hatred for all he and the other centaurs had inflicted on Ponyville, on her. “Yes. I do.”

        He bellowed another great laugh. Fluttershy took the brief opportunity to inch closer to the portal. “Good!” he shouted. “I've heard many reports of you this night. You fight fiercely. Without mercy. Even killing those that flee you! Why, the first centaur you slew? Helpless, trapped in a burning building, yet you killed him anyway!” Her mouth fell open. “Yes, I know about that. I see everything my soldiers see. He held up his necklace. “A useful tool, this. Lets me see into the mind of any soldier that wears our armor.”

        He let the necklace fall to his chest, and gripped his warhammer. “I admire your ruthlessness! How surprising, how easily we broke the spirit of Kindness. Or is that your excuse for killing my soldiers the way you did? Quickly, efficiently. Kind deaths, better than suffering, yes?”

        Fluttershy recoiled, the words cutting her to the bone, her own thoughts thrown back in her face. Was it true, she asked herself. Was she just a broken killer now? Did she deserve to call herself the Element of Kindness anymore?

        “Maybe now you realize the lie you ponies have lived,” Nessus continued, seeming to take great glee in her pain. “Kindness is folly. Pathetic. Weak. The only thing that matters in this world is strength, the strength to take what is rightfully yours, and damn any in your way! Isn’t that what you’ve done this night? Take the lives of centaurs, so you can have revenge? Or did you think you were being noble, snapping necks and caving in skulls?”

        As she stared at the stains on her hooves, the blood that she would never be able to wash away, she also saw the power she still had. Still commanded, even now, the Rainbow Power from the Tree of Harmony, from her Element within its branches. Surely, if she'd fallen from her role as the spirit of Kindness, she would have lost that power.

        Wouldn't she?

        She glared up at Nessus, deep into his cold, mocking eyes. “Maybe. Maybe I am broken,” she admitted. “The things I've done... if you'd told me just yesterday that I was capable of... of such slaughter?” She shook her head. “I never would have believed you.”

        She backed up as close to the portal as she dared. “But you’re wrong. Wrong about Kindness. Kindness is not weakness! It’s a strength all of its own. The strength to coexist with others, to help them, to do right by them, no matter how much they might frustrate you.” She pressed her lips together in determination. “I… I’ve slipped, tonight. I’ve done some awful, dreadful things. Things I might never make amends for. But I did them for the right reasons! To help those in need! To protect innocent lives! The lives you would take!” She flared her wings, cranking her aura to the max as she brought out the bomb, holding one hoof over the sapphire button. “And you won't be taking any more!”

        She pressed it.

Ten seconds.

        She set the bomb on the ground and took flight, charging at the nearest guard.

Nine seconds.

        She struck the centaur in the head, and followed up with a roundhouse kick, throwing her into another nearby guard, toppling them both.

Eight seconds.

        Nessus laughed, “Ah, once again, you prove what manner of mare you really are!” as he swung the warhammer to smash the bomb into a million pieces.

Seven seconds.

Shy came about and rocketed through his legs, snatching up the bomb just in time and setting it down next to the portal.

Six seconds.

She blasted a kick to knock the warhammer out of his hand, then followed up with a karate chop to the throat, smashing his necklace and leaving him choking. The gem fell, snagging on her hair.

Five seconds.

        She swirled around the portal one last time, knocking through any remaining guards.

Four seconds.

       With a burst of speed she took to the skies under the hail of renewed arrow fire.

Three seconds.

        A cloud of flame burst in her path, forcing her to detour.

Two seconds.

        Her wings beat so furiously as she flew to escape.

One second.

        She wasn't going to make it. Her body was just too tired. Just a little bit fur—

Detonation.

The bomb exploded with a shock wave that ripped through Nessus, the portal, and every other centaur and device within range, disrupting every single last one. The portal’s power core, unable to take the strain, let out an ear-splitting whine before detonating in a massive fireball. Nessus had just enough time to shout, “You are a weak, pathetic coward, Fluttershy, and you always will be!” before he perished along with his fellow centaurs.

        The shockwave reached Fluttershy right at the edge of its range. The jolt surged through her like a cascade of cold water, tearing away her aura of Rainbow Power and leaving her as she began the night, as plain, simple, helpless Fluttershy.

        Exhausted, broken, she fell from the sky. The last thing to pass through her mind, before blessed darkness claimed her, was Twilight Sparkle.

                                        ~ * ~

        Beep. Beep. Beep.

        Whispers in the dark. Snatches of conversations.

        “Will she make... “

        “..can't be sure...”

        “Please save her...”

        “She's crashing...”

        Flashes of pain. Shouts. No air. Too many loud beeps.

        Silence.

        Fluttershy stirred, not opening her eyes just yet. A low, steady beep filled her ears. She felt her limbs in the darkness, tried to move them. Her rear legs felt heavy, covered in bandages. Something tugged in her foreleg.

        A hospital. It must be a hospital, she realized. She was safe. Hurt, but safe. Alive.

        Fluttershy opened her eyes. Well, her eye. The other was covered with bandages so thick that all she could see was a thin cloud of grey barely lighter than black. At least she wasn't blind in that eye. Her uncovered eye revealed she was in a small room, one she recognized as part of Canterlot's Celestial Sunrise ICU ward.

        And there was someone standing nearby.

        “Hello?” she croaked. Dry did not describe her throat. Desert like might be adequate. Barren as the moon was probably about right.

        The pony gasped, rushing over. Lavender coat, wings, horn... “Fluttershy!” Twilight cried. “You're awake!” She shook, leaning forward as if to hug, then seemed to think better of it. “Girls! She's awake!” She turned and grabbed a cup of water in her magic. “Here, drink this. You need it.”

        Fluttershy sat up as much as she could and drank the water greedily. Her friends poured in, all her best friends, though to her dismay they all bore scars of battle. She wasn't the only one force to fight, it seemed. Though she hoped, deep in her heart, she’d been the only one to… her stomach quaked.

        “All right, Fluttershy!” Rainbow Dash whooped, giving her a gentle hoofbump. “I knew you'd pull through! Unlike some ponies,” she groused, glancing at Rarity.

        Rarity harrumphed, sticking her nose up in the air. “I don't know what you're talking about. I never once lost faith in our dear Fluttershy.”

        “Uh huh, and I'm the Queen of Fancee,” Applejack retorted. She grinned at Fluttershy. “But hooey it's good to see you awake, Shy! We lost enough good ponies as it is.”

        Pinkie Pie said, “We sure did,” in a mirthless tone that tore at Fluttershy's heart. She knew exactly who Pinkie meant. Despite it, the pink mare smiled. “But now Fluttershy's back! I'll... I'll be counting the days till they let you out, so we can throw one heckuva party for the Hero of Ponyville!”

        “Hero?” Fluttershy mumbled. No. She was no hero. Pinkie Pie couldn’t possibly mean that. The things she’d done...

        “Oh yes, Fluttershy!” Rarity beamed. “Why, you saved us all!”

        “We helped too, ya know,” Applejack said.

        “Yeah, yeah, we came in at the last minute and forced them to surrender, blah blah blah.” Dash threw up her arms and snorted. “But who cares? We never would've been able to if Shy hadn't taken out their base!” Rainbow Dash grinned. “Damn awesome, Shy. I am proud of you!”

        “Mm-hmm!” Pinkie seconded.

        “No… there’s nothing to be proud of...” she whispered, too faintly for her friends to hear. She shook her head fiercely, trying to shake away the thought. She only brought on a pounding headache instead. She cringed, holding a hoof to her head. “How long was I out?”

        “A couple of weeks,” Twilight answered. “We've already started rebuilding Ponyville.”

        “Those horrid beasts burned down my boutique!” Rarity squeaked.

        “And Sweet Apple Acres, don't you forget,” Applejack growled. “Thank heavens Granny had the smarts to hide in the apple cellar when she did. If I ever get my hooves on the centaurs who torched my trees...”

        Pinkie sniffled. Fluttershy paled, knowing what Pinkie was about to say: “Sugarcube Corner is gone too. Mister and Missis Cake...” Rarity wrapped her in a hug and cooed her into quiet sobs instead of a full blown crying fest.

        “She's taking care of Pound and Pumpkin now,” Twilight said as Rarity escorted Pinkie into the hallway. “It's been tough on all of us, but especially her. She tried to throw a… a wake, for all the ponies we’d lost, but…”

        Fluttershy nodded, feeling a pang of sorrow for Pinkie that she hadn’t been able to save the Cakes. And a dark wish that she’d been more brutal in killing their murderers. A dark wish that left her stomach heaving in protest.

        “Well Big Mac and I're aimin’ to make them pay for our farm,” Applejack said, squaring her hat. “He's shippin’ out to the front in just a few days, and I'm gonna be right behind him.”

        “Oh come on, AJ, do we have to talk about this now?” Rainbow groaned. “You're not going out there until we all can together!”

        “Well why not? If Shy can take on—“

        “Applejack! Rainbow Dash!” Twilight chided. “Fluttershy just woke up. She doesn't need to hear all of this yet!”

        “Hear what?” Fluttershy gulped. “What's happening?”

        Twilight sighed. “The centaurs have declared total war against Equestria. The negotiations were a ruse; the attacks on Ponyville and Canterlot a distraction, and a morale crusher. Their real goal was to establish a beachhead at Horseshoe Bay. They've got control over everything east of Appleloosa and south of the Ponytapsco River. Baltimare has seen the worst of the fighting so far, but we're holding them.” She sighed again. “For now, anyway. That gem you recovered gave us quite a bit of intel before they figured out we were using it.”

“Gem?” Fluttershy asked. She didn’t remember any gem… except, wait, thinking about it, didn’t Nessus’ necklace…

        Twilight confirmed her thoughts: “The gem, the one we found in your hair? It was a scrying device. Gave us a wealth of information… if it hadn’t been for that, the centaurs would own Baltimare right now. Maybe even Fillydelphia.” She shook her head. “But still, Equestria hasn't seen war in hundreds of years, Fluttershy. I don't know if we can beat them.”

        “Oh... oh no,” Fluttershy gasped. She held her hooves to her mouth.

        “It's not looking good,” Applejack admitted.

        “Nah, don't worry, Fluttershy,” Rainbow said. “As soon as you're back in shape, the six of us'll stomp 'em!”

        Fluttershy shivered, her stomach tying into knots. “No, please,” she said. “No more fighting. I...” Her uncovered eye brimmed with tears. “I can't do it again... “

        Rainbow Dash nodded, a look of understanding mixed with something Fluttershy didn't quite get crossing her face. “Gotcha. S'okay, Shy. You don't have to do anything you don't want to.”

        She smacked Applejack's shoulder with her wing. “Come on, let's give Shy and Twi some space.”

        A similar look appeared on Applejack's face. “Right. Hope you'll be okay, Shy,” she said as the two trotted out.

        Fluttershy sniffled, wiping at the tears. “Twilight, I...”

        Twilight smiled a sad, understanding smile. She wrapped a wing underneath Fluttershy as best she could without disturbing the hospital equipment. “I know,” Twilight said. “We... we all did things we're not proud of.” She ran a hoof along Fluttershy's forehead. “Do you want to talk about it?”

        Fluttershy looked down at her hooves. They were cleaned now, she saw, scrubbed of the dirt, of the debris, of centaur fur and flesh and blood. Even the bruises had mostly faded. But the stain, the stain of death, that would never fade. “I killed them, Twilight,” she whispered. “Killed. So many.” So many she'd lost count even before the bomb. How many perished in that explosion? How many more were on her conscience? How many?

        Twilight nodded. “Me too,” she said. “We all did. Self defense, defending Canterlot... saving you.” She shook her head with a mirthless laugh. “I set one on fire, if you can believe it. Didn't even mean to. I didn't realize how strong Rainbow Power had made me. Her screams...” She bowed her head in shame. “I got these from trying to put her out.” She held out her forehooves, where the scars of burns had permanently seared her flesh. She dropped them. “But I'd do it all over again, if I had to, if it meant saving my home. Would you?”

        Fluttershy shook, holding up her trembling hooves. “No… no, Twilight, you don’t understand. I killed them! Me…” She cried, great heaving sobs. “I’m Fluttershy… I’m supposed to be Kindness… and I was so weak that I killed… never, never again, never again…” She buried her face into Twilight. “Never again…”

        Twilight held her close, holding her till her crying calmed into a softer, more steady sniffling. “Fluttershy, I am so sorry,” she said. “I am so, so sorry I wasn’t there for you.”

        “I… I told him… Nessus... I’d done it for the right reasons,” Fluttershy stammered between sniffles. “That I was just trying to save ponies… but I…” She wrapped her hooves around Twilight’s torso. “I was so horrible… I even killed centaurs in front of children. Children! They’ll live with that for the rest of their lives… because of me…”

        “But that’s just it, isn’t it?” Twilight said. “That they’ll live? Because you saved their lives. From what we were told by the captured soldiers, they were going to massacre Ponyville. Slaughter everyone, every last pony, even the children. To scare us. To intimidate Equestria. To show us the kind of enemy we face.” She looked down at Fluttershy. “If it’s a choice between living a traumatized life because you saw death as a child, and not living at all, isn’t it better to choose life?”

        “Please don’t ask me that,” Fluttershy whispered. “I don’t want to know how I’d answer.”

        “Fair enough,” Twilight said. She set her chin atop Fluttershy’s head. “But you know, I still think you did the best you could, given… given everything. Was it easy? No. I’m going to live with the guilt of what I’ve had to do for the rest of my life. But I know, and you know, that neither of us would’ve made this choice if it wasn’t forced on us. Big Macintosh told me you did everything you could to avoid killing the soldiers, even as they did their best to try to kill you.”

        “Yes… because I was too weak to do what had to be done,” Fluttershy said. “And because of that… B-Bulk… he… and Flitter…”

        Twilight smiled. “Fluttershy, didn’t you just say you thought killing was weak? You’re contradicting yourself.” She hugged Fluttershy more tightly. “Listen, I know I’m not going to talk you out of this trauma in one conversation. You’ve been hurt in ways that… that frankly makes me so furious. We all have, but you perhaps most of all. But at the same time, I’m proud of you, for not giving in. And for proving I was right about you.”

        Fluttershy looked up at her, eyes bloodshot. “I… what do you mean?”

        Twilight’s eyes twinkled in a wistful fashion. “Do you remember that night, at the library? After the trade fair?”

        Fluttershy did. It was a happier memory, a memory that a substantial part of her told her she didn’t deserve to dwell on. “Yes,” she said, despite not wanting to.

        “I told you then that you were strong. Stronger than a lot of ponies. Probably a lot stronger than me, when it comes down to it. You never once lost your Kind spirit, Fluttershy, no matter what you might have done.” Twilight squeezed her. “You’ll get through this. I know you can. And I’ll be there to help you, okay?”

        Fluttershy nodded, sniffling. “Okay…” she breathed.

        An orderly opened the door and stuck his head in, frowning softly at the two of them. “My pardon, your highness,” he said, addressing Twilight, “but visiting hours are ending soon. You’ll have to leave then, I’m sorry.”

        Twilight glared at him until he closed the door.

Fluttershy gripped her tightly, rubbing her head into Twilight’s chest. “Please don’t go, Twilight. Please. I… I need you.”

Twilight chuckled. “Oh, I’m not going anywhere, Fluttershy. They can’t force me to leave. I’d love to see them try.”

“Thank you…” Fluttershy whispered.

They lay there, in silence, holding each other, for a very long time. “Fluttershy,” Twilight asked, “May I lay on the bed with you? I’m starting to fall asleep.”

        Fluttershy had been feeling rather sleepy herself, even if she didn’t dare imagine what sort of nightmares awaited her in slumber. But… “Is there room?”

        Twilight’s magic enveloped the bed below her. It shifted in shape, widening and softening till it felt more like her bed in the castle than a hospital cot. “There is now.”

        Fluttershy shifted, turning over till she felt as comfortable as she could, given the hospital equipment hooked into her. Twilight nestled behind her, setting her head on Fluttershy’s shoulder. “That’s a bit better,” Twilight said.

        Fluttershy turned till she could look into Twilight’s eyes. “Twilight?” she whispered.

        Twilight’s smile wrapped her in warmth as much as the rest of Twilight had. “Yes?”

        Fluttershy leaned till her lips touched Twilight’s, just for a few seconds, just long enough for a kiss. “Please don’t ever leave me, Twilight,” she said.

        Twilight snuggled in closer, wrapping her free hoof around Fluttershy’s waist. “Don’t worry… I won’t.”

        Fluttershy let the faintest ghost of a smile cross her lips. She lay back, enjoying the warmth, until finally, she fell asleep.