Pony Fails

"Hey, Sunset? Why're you givin' Flash th' evil eye?"

Sunset, who had spent the last several minutes trying to burn Flash to death with the force of her glare from across Sugar Cube Corner, turned to Applejack and her other friends, who were all watching her curiously. She let out a frustrated groan and rolled her eyes. "Flash...is trying to get back together with me."

The others blinked. "Seriously?" Rainbow asked. "I thought he was so hung up on Twilight. I mean—"

"Yeah, I did too," Sunset said. "But last night, well..."

* * * * *

Sunset was roused from her slumber by the sound of a slow, seductive rock ballad she vaguely recognized. She glanced at her digital clock and saw it was just before midnight. Groaning and rubbing sleep from her eyes, she walked over to the window and looked outside.

Flash and his band were out in the street. Their instruments were hooked up to Vinyl Scratch's mobile amp unit. Flash looked up at her window with a smoldering, longing gaze as he strummed.

Despite the late hour and the abrupt awakening—and the fact Flash was probably about to get the cops called on him for disturbing her neighbors—Sunset couldn't help but smile at how corny and sweet the whole thing was.

And then Flash started singing. And he was definitely ad-libbing the lyrics.

Close...your eyes
And you'll get a big...surprise
In your bootie
In your horny, horny bootie...

Sunset's smile died a painful, screaming death. She grabbed the heaviest book from her bookshelf, leaned out the window, and hurled it at Flash, nailing him right in the face.

Two floors down and two windows over, the cranky old cat lady nobody liked pointed her shotgun out the window and fired one right across the bass player's bow.

Vinyl's mobile unit turned back into a car and sped off, and Flash and his band quickly vacated the premises.

* * * * *

Sunset's friends stared at her.

"Seriously?!" Pinkie cried.

"And he seemed like such a nice boy," Fluttershy lamented as she gave Flash a reproachful glare.

Flash's testicles decided now would be a good time to wither up, die, and blow away on the breeze...