Pony Fails

The Crusaders were lounging around Apple Bloom's bedroom, watching Streamflix. Suddenly, Apple Bloom turned to Scootaloo. "Hey Scoots," she said, "are you Futaloo or Cooterloo today?"

Scootaloo blinked. "Huh?"

"Well, it sure seems like lately whether or not you got a dick or a pussy changes every other day," Apple Bloom said. "Ah was jes' wonderin' which one you got today, is all."

"Oh," Scootaloo said. She frowned. "Why?"

Apple Bloom shrugged. "Ah'm bored an' wanna suck dick," she said.

"Eww," Sweetie Belle said, pulling a face. "What is it with you and sucking dick?"

Apple Bloom shrugged. "Ah like dick. So? Scoots?"

Scootaloo sighed, stood up, and reached down her shorts, feeling around. She frowned. "Huh. That's...weird."

"Whut?"

"Well it's definitely not a pussy," Scootaloo said. "But...I don't think it's a dick either...what the hell even is that?"

"Lemme see!" Apple Bloom said, sitting up excitedly.

"Gah! At least let me leave the room before you--"

Scootaloo dropped her pants.

A rubbery boot flopped around between her legs. It was the same orange hue as Scootaloo's skin, and attached to her crotch in a most perplexing way: the boot dangled from its side, with the sole pointing forward and the open cuff of the boot facing in the same direction as her anus.

Sweetie Belle's cheeks turned green and bulged out. She scampered to her feet and ran down the hall; they heard her throwing up a few seconds later.

Apple Bloom stared at the boot, head tilted curiously. "Huh," she said. "That's...huh." She shook her head. "Well, uhh...want Ah should give you a shoeshine?"