Pony Fails

by MythrilMoth

ARIKŌN

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Dark, ominous clouds swirled over the blasted ruins of Canterlot High.

Sunset Shimmer hovered in the air, a wind she herself was generating stirring her clothes. Her leather jacket had long since been discarded, and she had tied a torn, tattered school flag around her shoulders as an ersatz cape.

Down below, a dirty, bruised, battered, bleeding, dissheveled Twilight Sparkle stood, glaring up at her.

"SUNSET SHIMMER!" Twilight yelled.

"TWILIGHT SPARKLE!" Sunset responded.

"SUNSET SHIMMER!"

"TWILIGHT SPARKLE!"

"SUNSET SHIMMER!"

"TWILIGHT SPARKLE!"

"SUNSET SHIMMER!"

"TWILIGHT SPARKLE!"

"SUNSET SHIMMER!"

"TWILIGHT SPARKLE!"

Trixie popped up out of a hole in the ground. "TRIXIE!"

"SUNSET SHIMMER!"

"TWILIGHT SPARKLE!"

"TRIXIE!"

"SUNSET SHIMMER!"

"TWILIGHT SPARKLE!"

"TRIXIE!"

"SUNSET SHIMMER!"

"TWILIGHT SPARKLE!"

"TRIXIE!"

"SUNSET SHIMMER!"

"TWILIGHT SPARKLE!"

"TRIXIE!"

"SUNSET SHIMMER!"

"TWILIGHT SPARKLE!"

"TRIXIE!"

"SUNSET SHIMMER!"

"TWILIGHT SPARKLE!"

"TRIXIE!"

"SUNSET SHIMMER!"

"TWILIGHT SPARKLE!"

"TRIXIE!"

"SUNSET SHIMMER!"

"TWILIGHT SPARKLE!"

"TRIXIE!"

"SUNSET SHIMMER!"

"TWILIGHT SPARKLE!"

"TRIXIE!"

"SUNSET SHIMMER!"

"TWILIGHT SPARKLE!"

"TRIXIE!"

"SUNSET SHIMMER!"

"TWILIGHT SPARKLE!"

"TRIXIE!"

"SUNSET SHIMMER!"

"TWILIGHT SPARKLE!"

"TRIXIE!"

"SUNSET SHIMMER!"

"TWILIGHT SPARKLE!"

"TRIXIE!"

"SUNSET SHIMMER!"

"TWILIGHT SPARKLE!"

"TRIXIE!"

"SUNSET SHIMMER!"

"TWILIGHT SPARKLE!"

"TRIXIE!"

"SUNSET SHIMMER!"

"TWILIGHT SPARKLE!"

"TRIXIE!"

"SUNSET SHIMMER!"

"TWILIGHT SPARKLE!"

"TRIXIE!"

"TRIXIE, KNOCK IT OFF! WE'RE TRYING TO HAVE A DRAMATIC SHOWDOWN HERE!"

"TRIXIE DOES NOT WANT TO BE LEFT OUT!"

"YOU'RE NOT EVEN IN THE STUPID THEME SONG, THOUGH!"

Off to the side, Principal Celestia and Principal Luna sat on folding chairs, drinking from a whiskey bottle.

"Are they ever gonna actually do anything?"

"It's an Akira parody. They're just gonna keep screaming at each other."

"SUNSET SHIMMER!"

"TWILIGHT SPARKLE!"

"TRIXIE!"

"SUNSET SHIMMER!"

"TWILIGHT SPARKLE!"

"TRIXIE!"

"SUNSET SHIMMER!"

"TWILIGHT SPARKLE!"

"TRIXIE!"

"SUNSET SHIMMER!"

"TWILIGHT SPARKLE!"

"TRIXIE!"

"SUNSET SHIMMER!"

"TWILIGHT SPARKLE!"

"TRIXIE!"

"SUNSET SHIMMER!"

"TWILIGHT SPARKLE!"

"TRIXIE!"

"Like I said..."

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