Pony Fails

Mr. Cake stared at the bearded stallion in the blue shirt and black hat who had barged into his store and run off all his customers. "Who are you?"

"You know who I am," the stallion said. "Say my name."

Mr. Cake shook his head. "I don't have a clue who you are."

"Yeah you do. I'm Pinkie's uncle. I'm the pony that killed Chicken Wing!"

Mr. Cake frowned. "Chicken Wing died of the feather flu."

"Are you sure?" The stallion stared at him. "Now...say my name."

Mr. Cake swallowed nervously. "You're Pork Pie."

"You're goddamn right."

There was a tremendous BOOM, and Pork Pie's head exploded.

As he fell to the ground dead, Mr. Cake stared past him at Scootaloo, who was holding a smoking shotgun.

"That's for my DAD, bitch!" Scootaloo yelled.

Pinkie Pie trotted downstairs. "Hey, what's all the racket oh my god is that my uncle?"

"It was," Mr. Cake said.

Pinkie stared at the headless corpse. "Eh. He was kind of a jerk..." She sighed. "I'll get the acid..."