Rainbow Dash Gets Her Mouth Washed Out With Soap
Mind Your Manners Young Mare
"So there I was! They had me bucking surrounded on all sides! But I wasn't going to take that horseapples! I blasted them straight back to Tartarus with a Sonic Rainboom, they didn't know what the hay hit 'em! Celestia's nethers you should have been there! The only way out was through two narrow cliffs! But I didn't give a flying feather about that! I knew this was my one chance to get out of that moonsent dump! That broodmare nag leader of theirs was screeching her head off for her goons to get off their plots, but I was bucking gone before they knew it!"
Scootaloo happily clapped from her end of the breakfast table.
Rarity thought, 'When I invited Rainbow Dash and Applejack over for breakfast with our little sisters, I certainly wasn't expecting that to be the topic of conversation!' She wished she'd thought of telekinetically covering her sister's ears a moment sooner. 'It's not so bad, it's her escapades that's enchanting them, not her . . . choice of embellishments.'
"That was bucking awesome Dash!" Scootaloo cheered.
Rarity's face turned red. 'Then again.'
"You know it squirt!" Rainbow Dash grinned and gave her charge a noggie.
Rarity was sincerely surprised when she noticed Applejack had also covered Applebloom's ears as Rainbow Dash's language had gotten out of hoof. Applejack was no more known for good manners than Rainbow Dash. She also noticed Applejack was sharing her glare at the rainbow maned pegasus.
Rainbow Dash finally seemed to notice the glares directed at her. "...What?"
"Darling...your language is getting a tad strong," Rarity suggested calmly.
"Ah don't be a stick in the mud," Rainbow Dash said to Rarity putting a hoof over AJ's shoulder. "I'm just spicing things up a little, AJ knows what I'm talking about right?"
"Strong? That ain't exactly right. A skunk in an outhouse ain't as strong as her pottymouth," Applejack said honestly.
"AJ!" Rainbow pulled back scandalized. "I'd expect that kinda attitude from Rarity, but you?"
The fillies innocently turned their heads back and forth as the grown ups spoke.
"Granny weren't too fond of cursin', Rainbow. She'd warm yer flank if she heard ya...even if ya are a grown up."
"What? I'd think it was some bad habit you picked up when you lived with that fancy-smancy Orange family of yours."
"They ain't too fond of it neither."
"But I've heard you cuss before!"
"Yeah, but not in front of a foal or Granny Smith, some things just ain't right fer a filly's ears."
"That's not what my dad said . . . but he said a lot of other things."
"Do we get a say in this?" Applebloom asked.
"No," All three adults told her together.
"Well my mother never tolerated such language in her house," Rarity said.
"And that's the thing, you got your mother, I got my dad, you got your granny, and we all get to raise our families the way we want to. Isn't Equestria great?" Rainbow Dash smiled. "It's not like it's against the law or anything!"
"Darling I believe you're missing the point."
"What point? You're making a mountain out of a molehill. They're gonna learn these words sooner or later, so why not sooner?"
"Because there's such a thing as 'innocence ending before its time,'" Applejack stated.
"Aw, pst, AJ I'm so disappointed in you." Dash frowned. "You sound like those tight-wads who think video games turn foals into anti-social dweebs."
"Well, Button Mash doesn't really play with other foals all that much," Sweetie Belle injected.
Rainbow Dash face hoofed. "Then it's his own mom's fault for letting 'em. Are you guys gonna be this big a pair of plots when I take Scootaloo to Zominator Vs Robo-Mare 2 next week?"
AJ and Rarity's jaws hit the table.
"Ain't that the movie Diamond Tiara's pop dragged her out of the movie theater to keep her from seein'?" Applebloom asked.
"Dragged? I thought she was screaming and begging him to get her out of it…" Sweetie replied.
Scootaloo laughed. "Yeah! She snuck in to see it, then wet herself and began shouting how the Zom-bots were gonna get her! And they had to call her dad!"
"...I don't know what's more disturbing, the fact you want to watch that or that you seem to enjoy what happened to this other filly a little too much…" Rarity muttered.
"Not here nor there Rarity," AJ said, "Dash, ya can't be seriously thinkin' of takin' Scootaloo ta see that movie!"
"Yeah? So?"
"Ya know what that movie's rated?"
"Pst. That rating system is just so whining mother would stop complaining."
"It made a filly wet herself apparently," Rarity pointed out.
"So? Diamond Tiara's a spoiled brat with no guts. You aren't bucking comparing HER to SCOOTALOO are ya?" RD asked incredulous. "Seriously Rarity, I can't believe you and AJ are such a bunch of-"
The birds flew away from Rarity's house.
Rarity's face turned bright red as she had covered Sweetie Belle's ears just in time. "Rainbow Dash, I think . . . we best call it a morning and cool down before we say some things foals shouldn't hear."
"Yeah yeah, com'on Scootaloo, let's get the buck out of here."
A vein became visible on Rarity's head. "Rainbow-" The pegasus zoomed out with Scootaloo in tow. "-Dash." Rarity sighed, feeling a headache. She slowly sat back down, only now realizing she had stood up. "Sweetie, please go outside and play."
"Ya too Applebloom."
"Are ya gonna say a bunch of those words?" Applebloom asked.
"No." AJ said, "And we if catch ya repeatin' any of them words, ya can kiss yer behind and Crusading goodbye till yer twenty!"
"That goes double for you Sweetie Belle," Rarity said calmly.
The fillies gulped and nodded and went out the kitchen door.
"So what do we do?" Rarity asked.
"What can we do? RD has a point, it's ain't our place to tell 'er how to look after Scootaloo."
"Rainbow Dash is our friend, and Scootaloo is a friend of our little sisters, that makes it our business."
"Yeah, Ah don't want Applebloom learnin' to have a pottymouth. But ya know Rainbow, she's almost as stubborn as Ah am...almost..."
"I think we need to remind Rainbow Dash that there are consequences for her actions around foals."
"Ya know RD, she doesn't take hints, or words all that much neither, it has to be all actions with her. Except when it's her own words."
" . . . You have just given me an idea."
-
"Hi girls!" Twilight said, "Welcome to the library! Anything in particular you're looking for? I just got this really interesting book on the History of Checklists!"
AJ and Rarity blanched. Fluttershy didn't look up from her book on taming cockatrices.
"Actually darling, yes we do. Where might I ask where is the legal section?"
"Oh, are you in trouble Rarity? Is it tax time already?"
"Oh nothing like that darling, just, curious."
-
Rarity chuckled as she heard a knock on the door. "Hook, line, and sinker."
She opened it to see Rainbow Dash. "Where's the tickets?!"
"Oh, they're in my study, I was making some new dresses."
"How did you even get tickets to Batmare Vs Superstallion: Dawn Of Harmony? It won't be out for months!"
"Long story short, the theater owner's wife desperately needed a dress and gave me an IOU," Rarity said, leading the way into the back room. "And I generally don't see movies, prefer the theater myself."
Rainbow Dash nodded excitedly. "Don't know what you're missing. Stallion of Steel was kinda good though, you might of liked it."
"Why?"
"Blueblood actually somehow got roped into playing Zodd…guy can actually kinda act."
"How would that make me want to see it?"
"He gets beat up."
"...I might see that movie. Now come along dear, please sit down."
RD did indeed spot two movie tickets on the table for the super hero movie.
Dash wanted to just take the tickets and go, she knew Rarity wasn't the type to ever ask for anything in return, but if she was gonna give her tickets to something this cool . . . well, after what happened yesterday, maybe it was the least she could do.
"Thanks, I'm sure Scootaloo will enjoy going to that movie too."
"Rainbow you know foals are banned from watching movies like... the one you spoke of yesterday, right? Diamond Tiara had to SNEAK IN, Scootaloo won't get past the lobby, and I doubt you'd encourage Scootaloo to break into a theater."
"Hey, all you need is a little creativity. I'll figure out something."
"Oh course you will darling, make yourself comfortable, here, let me help with that. I thought you might be interested. I thought after yesterday we could clear up a few things, clean things out as it were."
"Why'd ya have Pinkie Pie delivery the message instead of yourself?"
"Well I had to prepare darling, I knew you couldn't resist and I and Applejack had to get things ready."
"Wait? You and Applejack?"
"Yes dear, she's been getting herself ready in the next room, so you feel comfortable?"
"Yeah thanks I... Hey! What is this?!" Rainbow Dash frantically flapped her wings, struggling as she realized Rarity had gently, slowly, while Rainbow Dash's eyes had been on her, tied her hooves to the arms and legs of the chair.
"Oh just an intervention darling," Rarity said, the smile never leaving her face.
"You're going to bake me into cupcakes!"
"What? No Darling what gave you that idea?"
"You're going to force-feed some formula to make me think I'm a baby!"
"Dear I think you're being hysterical. Not that I blame you but-"
"You're gonna brainwash me to always dress in style!"
"Rainbow Dash, I think YOU'RE underage for the movies you want to take Scootaloo to see."
"I didn't get . . . all those ideas from horror movies . . . now untie me!"
"I will darling, in a while, but first justice must be done."
"What?!"
Rarity said nothing. She slipped on an old style Wonderbolts uniform that had been in a bag next to her seat. She then unfurled a scroll that had been next to the tickets.
"Ahem darling. 'Should a citizen of Equestria (under their own free will), while in the presence of foals (including one's self) between the ages of zero to eighteen (and is completely aware of foal(s) presence at the time), clearly utter a word or combination of words that general consensus of Equestria or of the speaker's general area to be profanity at the time and date of utterance, on the private property of another citizen of Equestria (potentially including their spouse), with at least two witnesses, the owner of said property will be within their legal right to detain said citizen if they are not enacting emergency, medical, military or other immediate vital services or next available time within the next four weeks, to restrain speaking citizen, and formally cleanse all filth from their oral cavity with assistance as deemed necessary. If said pony repeats said profanity at any time on same premises, under the same owner, the punishment may be doubled. Addendum: Taking a deity's name in vain may also qualify unless said deity is actually being spoken to, (praise the night)."
"Ah got a feelin' where that addendum came from."
-
"Sister, and here we thought thou had grown lax in enforcing our cultural values in our absence."
"That one was mostly because of some words Cadence picked up when she was a filly."
"Did it work?"
"She never swore again, and neither did that royal guard."
-
"Applejack?! Hurry! Get me out of here!"
"No can do darlin'," AJ marched into the study, also dressed in a Wonderbolt's classic uniform, carrying a very large tooth brush like a rifle like a guard on parade.
"Come on girls! AJ! You say buck and hay all the time! You buck for a living! You eat hay! Wash yer own mouth out!"
"And when Rarity talks about the plot of a play, she ain't talkin' bout what yer talkin' about."
"Who are you and what have you done with AJ?! Since when does she talk seamaretics, I mean sirmanics, ugh, how words work."
"Since her profession happens to involve a word that's a homogem...hamaname...what's the word Rare?"
"Homonym, darling."
"Yeah, that of a cuss word. Ah don't care much about fancy-smacy word play stuff, but Ah know the difference between applebucking and...well...ya know."
"Exactly dear. Now please relax Rainbow darling, and I promise this will be over shortly."
"So this was all a bucking trap?"
"No, the tickets are perfectly real and a gift, I just used them as bait. Now please don't squirm."
Rainbow Dash's hooves were caught in Rarity's telekinesis, and it turned out the chair was very customizable. And yet Rarity had somehow managed make it look fabulous, which only made Rainbow Dash feel that much more embarrassed.
Rainbow Dash found, with her hooves still tied, her forelegs behind her back, and rear legs together, and herself now flat on her belly. She was still flapping her wings. Rarity placed a mat and plastic bucket underneath Rainbow Dash's head. Then placed a yoke on Rainbow's neck, trapping her head in place.
"Be careful darling or we'll have to restrain those."
Rainbow stopped flapping.
"Now just open up and smile and this will be over quickly," Rarity cooed.
Rainbow clamped her mouth shut.
"So it comes to that. Applejack, apply the soap."
AJ nodded, taking a Pinkie Pie size tube of soap tooth paste and applying it to the brush quills, humming to herself, and positioned it in front of RD's mouth. RD shook her head.
Rarity sighed. "I was hoping to not resort to this Rainbow Dash." She took out a feather.
RD's eyes widened and she whimpered.
"Open?"
She shook her head again.
"Appplejack told me where you're ticklish."
RD glared at her palomino 'friend'. AJ gave her an embarrassed grin.
"If you want, we can have Scootaloo brush your teeth instead, I'm sure she'd love that."
Rainbow Dash deflated. "Why do you even care? Scootaloo isn't your filly," closing her mouth before Applejack could begin.
"No, but you also cussed around OUR sisters," Rarity replied. "And are teaching Scootaloo to cuss, and she's our sister's friend. That's why we care."
"That and there's a reason the Princesses made this law in the first place," said Applejack.
"Wait, you didn't make that stuff up?! it's an ACTUAL law-"
For once, Rainbow Dash wasn't fast enough, in went the soap brush.
"Yep, on the books and everythin'."
AJ began humming 'Little Filly Love Shortnin Bread' as she brushed Rainbow Dash's mouth.
For Rainbow Dash. The taste was awful.
Rarity watched the entire proceeding with a polite smile on her face.
After an eternity (more like a few minutes), AJ stopped and looked at Rarity who nodded. The big brush was removed. Rainbow Dash spat out the soap into the bucket. AJ gave her a glass of water to wash her mouth out, several times.
"You know darling, I'm tempted to give you a mane styling while I have you at my mercy like this."
"You wouldn't!"
"But that's not what this punishment is about, and we're doing this by the book, so that wouldn't be very fair now would it?"
"...So the others aren't like secretly watching this or video taping this or something?"
"Now Rainbow," AJ said, giving a frown. "You think we'd be THAT cruel darlin'? This is punishment, not us bein' bullies."
"Pinkie Promise me."
"Really need to go that far?"
Rainbow gave her friends a glare.
"...Yeah...we did kinda trick ya here...alright then."
One Pinkie Promise later, Rarity began letting Rainbow out of her predicament.
Thoroughly humbled, Rainbow Dash rubbed her hoof. Rainbow looked at her friends. "Where did you even get all that stuff?"
"Well, she said she didn't want to watch, since she knew it would be embarrassing for you, but she agreed it was a lesson you needed to learn," Rarity answered. "She considers you a dear friend after all, but said teaching words like that to foals was simply unacceptable."
"Wait, weird specific stuff, cares about foals, oh my Celestia, PINKIE PIE knows? Please tell me you made her Pinkie Promise not to tell anypony!"
Rarity blinked and shook her head. "Oh no no no, it wasn't Pinkie Pie."
"Twilight? This was one of her fancy lessons wasn't it?"
"Twili' just helped us with some law diggin' partner," AJ assured her.
"Then who?"
"Is it over? Is she done?" Said a peaceful yet unsure voice.
"Yes dear, it's all over, she's cleaned up and everything, you can come in now."
"Oh, okay."
And in daintily trotted a butter yellow pegasus with a long flowing pale pink mane. She hid behind her mane and peaked out just to make sure the proceedings had really concluded.
Rainbow Dash's jaw dropped. "Fluttershy?! What the Tar-!! I mean, the heck are you, you did-"
Fluttershy said in her rarely seen firm and assertive voice. "Yes Rainbow Dash, I did. If you're going to speak like a naughty filly, we all agreed that you be punished like one. Now I hope you've learned your lesson?"
Rainbow Dash nodded her head several times. Her friends looked at her. "What?"
"So what was the lesson?" Fluttershy asked in a no nonsense tone.
Rainbow Dash sighed. "...Just because I think there's no problem swearing around foals doesn't mean everypony else does."
"And?"
"And apparently it's illegal."
"And?"
"And I should have respected my friends' feelings instead of being a knucklehead...again…"
Fluttershy patted her on the head. "See now? That wasn't so hard was it? Now what's this I hear about you planning to take Scootaloo to an violent overage movie?"
"Okay, look. I admitted I should have considered your guys' feelings, but not everypony has nightmares from the same thing. Remember all the ghost stories back in flight school? I loved them and you hid behind the cloud log. Scootaloo LIKES scary movies. And I think getting caught in the middle of REAL 'alien' invasion out scares anything a scifi movie can throw at her."
"Yes Rainbow, you're right, the part where the changeling ripped ponies heads off and ate their brains and ripped out their spines must have prepared her."
"Huh? That didn't happen!"
"Exactly."
"Wait! You've seen it?! But-but-but, you're still scared to pieces of my ghost stories!"
"Well . . . I've never met a real ghost before, so I've really never had a chance to get used to them. But I have had to help on a lot of terribly terribly hurt animals before . . . I actually find those violent movies . . . boring . . . "
Rainbow Dash felt woozy. AJ and Rarity starred.
"And I know Scootaloo isn't my responsibility, but you've made her yours. And there's a difference between scary movies, and movies that are violent just for the sake of being violent."
"Besides, darling, you're likely to get her and yourself banned from the theater if you tried. She IS underage."
AJ put a hoof on Rainbow's soulder. "Rainbow, Ah'm sorry if it feels like we're buttin' inta yer business, but seriously, with our little sisters so close, what one of us gives as an example to them, it becomes an example to all of them. Think about what ya show'er, not just whether it's 'awesome' or not."
"Alright...but AJ? Rarity?"
"Yeah?"
The pegasus gave a smirk. "I seem to remember some Sweet Celestia's coming out of your mouths around some of the foals a couple times."
"Ah gotta confess, Ah don't remember that one bit. This mare knows when to keep her trap clean."
Rarity, however, fidgeted a little bit, remembering an incident involving a mud puddle, a freshly scrubbed Sweetie Belle and a clean house, Rainbow on a cloud taking her daily nap.
"Rarity…" Applejack said.
"Was it in or around your cloud house? Or within the last month? Or something you'd have disapproved of saying at the time?" Rarity asked.
"Uh, no?"
"Doesn't count then."
"Ah come on guuuuuys!"
Fluttershy patted RD on the back. "Uh, I could swear in front of Scootaloo, if you really want me to Rainbow Dash."
"Wouldn't be the same. I just know if I got on your back for buying Sweetie Belle some inappropriate video game I'd expect you to get on MINE if I did."
"You actually care about that?"
"Come on, I might like scary stuff, but I'm NOT buying Scoots Grand Theft Chariot 5 or anything like that! I might let her be scared but I ain't letting her learn to be a crook, cut me some slack!"
"I see…"
Applejack gave Rarity a glare.
"... I suppose holding somepony else up to standards means we should meet them as well...but you will NOT get that nasty soap in my mane, understood?"
"Don't worry Rarity, I have some nice imported perfume scented soap from my birthday we can use."
"I suppose that will do." Rarity assumed a dignified stance politely opening her her mouth. "Let's get started."
-
"And there I was Scoots! They didn't even see me coming! I zip around them like light! They were left wondering 'What was that rainbow flash?' Spitfire said she'd never seen a show like it! I know it's not the movies yet, but how about I take that with me next time I visit the Wonderbolts? I tell ya it'll be buc-"
Fluttershy gave Rainbow Dash a look.
"It'll be totally radical."
"Yeah! It'll be bucking awesome!"
Fluttershy gave Rainbow Dash a dirty look.
"Hey ... Scoots . . . let me show you where I keep my limited edition Wonderbolts soap bars."
~Fin
Author's Note
Epilogue (partially by Ardashir).
Scootaloo snorted. "Dash won't go to Zominator Vs Robo-Mare 2? I'll just see it myself! If Diamond Tiara can sneak in, so can I!"
-Some Time After the Movie Starts-
"DASH! SAVE ME! THE ZOM-BOTS WANNA EAT MY BRAIN! . . . And . .. uh . . . I had an accident."
Applebloom: "Y'all snuck in there even after ya was warned not ta. Yah can't have much of a brain tah get eaten."
Sweetie: "Stop being so chicken, Scootaloo! Ooh, sorry."
Poor little Scootaloo. At least she won't have to worry about cleaning her pants, though a section of rug may be ruined.
Trace provided by Vanille Cream. http://vanillecream.deviantart.com/art/Rainbow-Dash-Trace2-262795850
