Don’t Go Into the Woods
Based on a scene from “The Evil Dead”, directed by Sam Raimi and starring Bruce Campbell
It was pitch-black outside and approximately eleven o’clock at night when they heard the mysterious noise. Having now reached the age of 19 and finally achieved their cutie marks, the Cutie Mark Crusaders Babs Seed, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo had decided to celebrate with a getaway by renting a small cabin in the woods just big enough for the 4 of them. Here they were, in an old, rickety cabin in the middle of the night, and a mysterious sound had just come from the fruit cellar. “What the hell was that?!” yelled Apple Bloom. “Relax, Apple Bloom,” said Scootaloo, “it’s probably just some animal.” “Yeah,” agreed Babs, “I’m gonna go check it out!” Babs proceeded to open the door and walk down the rickety stairs into the fruit cellar from which the sound had originated. “Babs!” yelled Sweetie Belle, “come back!” Scootaloo groaned. “I’ll go after her.” And so Scootaloo wandered around downstairs. Babs didn’t seem to be anywhere. “Babs?” she called, wandering around. “Babs? Where are you-AGH!” Suddenly, something had jumped out at her from the darkness. After the initial shock wore off and reality settled in, Scootaloo groaned. “Good one, Babs...” Babs couldn’t stop laughing. Then, something caught her attention on the shelves. “Yo, Scoots!” she said, “Come check this out!” The pair walked to the shelf. On it was a shotgun, a chainsaw, and a tape recorder. Babs picked up the big gun. “Check it oooout!” she said, simulating firing it. “Do you think it still works?” “Yeah, Babs, I’ll bet it does still work!” “Wow, this thing is old... Okay, I’ll take up the shotgun and chainsaw and you can get that tape recorder!” “Sure thing, Babs...” As Babs walked back upstairs with the finds, something else on the shelf caught Scootaloo’s eye that she hadn’t noticed before. It was a very strange-looking book, which appeared to have a face. She felt compelled to pick it up and take it upstairs with the tape recorder. “Ooh, there’s a book, too?” remarked Babs when Scootaloo arrived. “Neato, I didn’t notice that!” “Gimme! Gimme!” cried Apple Bloom, snatching it from Scootaloo’s hand. She took a good long look at the cover. “Dear Celestia that’s creepy” she remarked. Then Babs snatched it back and opened it up. “You think that’s weird, take a look at the pages.” Babs held it open while the rest of the group leaned in to get a look. The book contained bizarre burial rites, funerary incantations and demon resurrection passages. “Why is all the writing and pictures in red?” observed Sweetie Belle. Babs closed the book. “Maybe it’s bloood...” she teased. The girls all had a good laugh at that one except Apple Bloom. “Aw, come on, Bloom, it was just a joke,” said Scootaloo, reassuringly, but it didn’t seem to help.
Later that evening, the four anthroponies all sat down next to the book and the tape recorder. “Alright, Scoots,” said Babs, “play that recording!” Scootaloo obliged, pressing the Play button on the ancient device. “I am Professor Starswirl the Bearded, and I’ve rented this small cabin in the woods to study my latest find: Necronomicon Ex Mortis; roughly translated, The Book of the Dead. The book appears to be bound in anthropony flesh and inked in anthropony blood.” So far, Babs was having a blast while Apple Bloom was shaking with increasing vigor. “I fear my wife has been possessed by a Kandarian demon. I buried her in the fruit cellar. Celestia help me, I buried her in the fruit cellar.” Scootaloo shivered slightly, having just been in the very fruit cellar to which the professor referred. “The book seems to contain a particular incantation for awakening these demons. I’ve spent many months translating it, and this’s what I’ve concluded that it reads.” The recording then proceeded to speak in unintelligible gibberish. The Professor’s voice seemed to suddenly deepen and acquire an echo to it. “Kanda...” it said at the end of its gibberish. “Kanda...” It was getting slightly louder every time. “Scoots...” “Kanda... KAnda... KANda...” “Scoooots....” “KANDA! KANDA!!! KAANDAAA!” “SCOOTALOO!” Apple Bloom was now positively terrified and crying. “TURN IT OFF, SCOOTS! FOR CELESTIA’S SAKE, TURN IT OFF!!!!!” Scootaloo quickly pressed the Stop button. While Babs simply laughed, Scootaloo leaned in and put her arm around Apple Bloom’s shoulder to comfort her. “AB, there’s nothing to be afraid of. I’ll bet you that’s not even Starswirl talking in that recording; probably just some prankster put that there with a book they fabricated hoping to scare foals like us.” Apple Bloom slowly stopped crying. “Yeah, you’re probably right...” “But WE’RE not scared, right?” Scootaloo added with an encouraging tone. “We’re the Cutie Mark Crusaders!” Apple Bloom smiled, her tears beginning to dry. “Right!” she said, giggling. “That’s the spirit!” Scootaloo playfully punched Apple Bloom in the arm. Apple Bloom, equally playfully, swiftly returned fire. “Welp, I for one think we all ought to get some sleep,” said Sweetie Belle, whom had hitherto remained fairly silent throughout the ordeal. “Yeah, I agree. You want to sleep in my room with me, AB?” “That’d be great, Scootaloo. Thanks.” And so the girls turned off the lights, walked to their respective bedrooms, and went to bed.
“Jooooin uuussss....” said a faint, disembodied voice. It awoke Apple Bloom from her sleep. She had been asleep for about an hour when she heard it. “Joooooin uuuusss...” it said again. She got out of her bed and walked toward the window. “Jooooin uuuuussss....” She was scared out of her mind, but her curiosity was stronger than her fear. Careful not to wake up Scootaloo, she put on a bath robe over her pajamas and walked out the front door, attempting to follow the voice. She followed it deeper and deeper into the woods. After a good while of following it, she stopped. “Hello?” she shouted, hoping she was far enough from the cabin not to wake any of her companions. No response. “I know you’re out here!” she insisted, “I heard you!” Still no response. Then she heard something crack as if under footfall. She walked toward the noise, leading to an area thick with tree branches. She stopped when she reached a small clearing, surrounded by trees. Suddenly, thin branches started reaching out from the trees to wrap around her ankles. “Wh-wha? Wha-AAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAH!” Apple Bloom screamed as the branches slowly worked their way up her legs. She held onto the nearest tree trunk to her for support. More branches came out at her from the opposite direction and began wrapping around her torso and popping off the buttons on her pajamas. Yet another set then began tearing off her bath robe. She screamed and writhed to free herself, working as hard as she possibly could to hold on to that tree trunk. Soon, her robe was torn clean off, leaving only her lacy, open pajamas. The branches around her torso began pulling her backward, and the ones around her ankles began pulling her forward, causing her to finally lose her grip on the tree trunk and fall on her back. She then put her remaining energy to use by desperately trying to hold her now buttonless pajamas closed. The branches began taking hold of her arms. Still she held and held, but was ultimately defeated. Her arms were pulled to her sides, revealing her breasts, which more branches promptly wrapped around and squeezed, very tightly. “Oooh...” moaned Apple Bloom at the sensation. The branches on her ankles started to make their way further and further up her legs, eliciting moans of fear as she writhed against the branches holding her firmly in place on the ground. Despite the branches around her neck, she managed to look up enough to get a better look at what was happening. The branches at her ankles began pulling her legs apart. Her eyes widened as the true horror of what was about to happen hit her. She let her head and her arms fall limp and succumb to the ravenous branches, instead putting ALL of her remaining strength to keeping her legs firmly together. “Nnngh... NNNNGHH....” she groaned, really straining to keep her legs from separating. “NnnnghAAAAAAH!” Her strength failed, and the branches managed to spread her legs open. The one night I decide not to wear underwear... she thought to herself as she gave up struggling against the thorny branches, her energy to resist all but depleted. Instead, she simply watched helplessly as a final branch, stronger and thicker than any of the others, darted directly into her defenseless vagina. “Oohhh.... Ooohhhh! OOOOOOOOH! AAAAAGH! UGGGGGH! AAUGHHH! OOOOOOOHHHH!” She yelled as the branch penetrated her, the rest of them still caressing every exposed inch of her half-naked body. They squeezed her breasts and stroked her red cheeks and wrapped around her legs and massaged her shoulders and thin waist and hips. “ooooh.... ooooohhhh” she moaned. At one point, a branch went inside her mouth and wrapped around her tongue. For what seemed like forever the trees had their wicked way with her, but then her strength returned. She managed to wrench free of the branches and make a B-line back to the cabin, that disembodied voice of “Jooooooinnn uusssss....” following her, every step of the way. Little did she know that, in doing so, she was leading the newly awakened Deadites right to her dearest friends.
The End
