Interdimensional Bureaucracy

This is it, it’s all over, he was sure of it. How long has it been? Days, Weeks? He didn’t know, nor did he care anymore. He couldn’t take this, his eyes were barely open and his senses were slowly getting weaker. He briefly wondered what his life could’ve been, maybe if he took a different path it would’ve been better. Well, it’s too late now.

“So, what can I do now?” A voice asked, snapping him back to the world of the living.

“Oh… right, good question,” He replied, remembering the situation at hand.

Sitting opposite to him, across a small wooden table of the quiet coffee shop they were in, was a young man. His concerned expression, constant shifting in his chair and even a few drops of sweat in his short red hair, indicated an urge for answers.

“Well… could you say the last part again?” The other man asked, hoping his client didn’t notice his previous lack of attention. “I think I might be getting into something”.

As the young man repeated his tale, the other couldn’t help but to feel slightly uncomfortable. His name is Luiz; he’s a lawyer, and a good one at that. Having a master degree on both international relations and law, he was one of the prime candidates to a very unique job. It sounded good at first, to be part of the first embassy of his nation to Equestria. Who in his right mind would refuse such an offer? To travel into a new world, with a good salary and most expenses paid by the state. It seemed ideal, but turns out reality is not that good…

“Alright, that’s the whole story,” The young man said, once again finishing his explanation. “Can you please figure this out?”

Having paid proper attention this time, Luiz answered, “Look Peter, I’ll be honest, you have a difficult case in your hands. I believe the best chance we have is to try set up a deal with the mayor. Now, I understand you don’t have a lot of money, so I’ll try to lower any kind of payment”.

“Are you sure you can’t do anything else?” Peter asked with pleading eyes, clearly worried of what might happen.

“Sorry, I can’t make any promises”.

“Can you at least give me an advice or something?”

Scratching his head a little, he tried to think of something. “Well, if you send a letter to the embassy, back in Canterlot, they might be willing to give you a small loan,” Before Peter could say anything, he added, “If you do get one, spend it wisely”.

“Uh… alright, thanks for the help.”

Originally, Luiz believed his job would consist of something simple, like staying in an office somewhere in the capital and deal with treaties and small legal issues. The real deal was a little more complicated. His task was to run around the country and try to solve any legal problems between his fellow countryman and the Equestrian government, which were often many.

Peter’s case was a very common one. The young man had arrived in Equestria hoping for a fresh start and some easy money. He, like many others, had committed one simple mistake. Despite the similarities, Equestria had some fundamental differences from Earth. These differences became particularly big when it came to government institutions, laws and most importantly, taxes. His mistake was to not be acquired with these changes, causing him to be unprepared for the local bureaucracy. The result was a big amount of tax debt and a few other problems. Now it was up to Luiz to fix this.

-x-

With nothing else to discuss, he left, heading back to the hotel he was staying. He walked slowly down the street, deciding to appreciate the calm and happy atmosphere of this small town. This was Manenich, one of the few towns in the northeastern borders of Equestria, known for its isolation and typical cold weather (despite the efforts of the local weather teams).

He noticed a few of the ponies walking around, giving him curious glances. Not surprising, given the lack of humans in this region (Peter was the only one, as far as he knew). He briefly wondered about recent events. Ever since the portals first opened, things have been quite agitated, with ponies and humans going to both worlds in increasing numbers. Yet the process of integration was slow, part of it by the lack of action from the princesses to speed up the process. Luiz guessed this must be intentional, in order to give the nation enough time to adapt. “Smart girls,” he thought to himself.

Five minutes later, he arrived at the hotel. Giving the manager a small nob, he went up to the second floor, where his room was. He approached the door, hoping to get some good rest before working in a solution. Opening the door swiftly, he was greeted with a small and simple room, with a table, wardrobe, bathroom and two beds. One of the beds belonged to him; the other was for the second guest of the room, who was currently laying on it, reading a small book.

This other occupant was a pegasus mare, with a light orange coat, burgundy mane and tail. Her cutie mark was a balance crossed by a sword and quill.

“Oh, Luiz, you’re back,” She said, while lowering her book. A small smile made way to her lips. “So, how was the meeting?”

“Eh, same as always,” The man replied, sitting down in his own bed. “Guy told me he didn’t mean to and begged for help”. He casted his eyes down, annoyed at the prospect of spending more time dealing with trivial yet exhausting matters like this.

Noticing his behavior, the mare, called Habeas Corpus, said, “Come on, cheer up a little”. She placed a hoof on his left shoulder. “As soon as we end this, we can go back to Canterlot”.

They were good friends. She had accompanied him ever since he began his new job. Despite his good experience in law and international relations, Luiz, like many others, was still unfamiliar with much of the Equestrian legal code. Consequently, it was useful to have a local lawyer to help him with some of the issues. He wouldn’t have it any other way, the mare has always been a good company.

“I know that, alright,” He replied, gently pushing the hoof away. “I’m just tired of running around like this, we barely have enough time to eat and sleep”.

She stood up and got off the bed, locking her green eyes with his brown ones and frowning a bit. “If you’re so eager to leave, then let’s get this over with, now,” She said in a serious tone. “Do you have any idea how to solve this case?”

Taken aback by her sudden determination, Luiz answered, “Actually… yes, I got a few…”

“Good, you get on that table and start typing,” She said while pointing a hoof to him. “I’m going downstairs to grab some coffee for us”.

-x-

Luiz spend the next hours typing furiously on his typewriter (since Equestria didn’t have many electronics yet). It wasn’t easy at first, requiring huge mental effort to combine his arguments with the Equestrian law. How these ponies created a set of laws out of “Harmony” was a mystery to him.

He didn’t let these problems stop him though. No, his coffee-fueled mind pressed on, determined to create something beautiful. This wasn’t just a legal defense, this was a masterpiece! A combination of hard work and sharp intellect. From Plato to Voltaire, he called the greatest minds to write down his arguments, thinking through every detail, every possible thing. Finally, he pressed the final dot, putting an end to this artwork. Twenty-two pages of pure greatness now laid on the table.

“It’s over, I did it,” He said, letting a wave of relief wash through him.

“Really?” The mare asked, coming closer to him. “Let me see it them!”

“Sure, give it a look,” He replied, handling down the papers. “I don’t want to brag, but this here is a pearl”.

Luiz waited, smiling to himself as Habeas analyzed the document. To his surprise, however, she stopped before finishing the first page. “Luiz… this paragraph over here…” She said, pointing her left hoof to the small section. “This doesn’t work in Equestrian law…”

“What… that’s not possible,” He said, quickly snatching the papers and reading the section. No, it can’t be, this was supposed to a fucking masterpiece! “But… this is my central argument, are you sure of it?”

“Yep… I’m afraid I am,” She replied.

They locked eyes once again. He stared at her for several moments, bearing a haunted expression. “I’ll need to rewrite the whole thing, won’t I?”

The sad look on her face was more than enough to answer that. The small room became awfully quiet. Soon, however, the silence was broken by the loud thud of a head hitting against the table. “Uh… are you alright there, Luiz?”

“We’re gonna need more coffee…” He replied, not even bothering to look at her.

-x-

So came the morning of a new day. Luiz and Habeas Corpus were making their way to the small audience with the mayor. Both of them wearing formal suits, ready to decide the fate of their client, determined to give their best. Okay, maybe not that much, they had spent most of the night making a completely new document, thus they didn’t get much sleep. They weren’t in their best behavior, but nothing that huge amounts of coffee can’t solve.

Around them, many of the inhabitants were already out in the streets, beginning their daily routines.

“So, what should we do once we get back to Canterlot?” The pegasus asked, trying to divert attention from their lack of sleep.

“Eh, I don’t know,” The man replied. “We have been doing this for over five months; maybe we could take a small vacation”.

“I suppose maybe we could go to your home”.

“France?” He asked, raising an eyebrow. “I guess, but I’m pretty sure it’s winter over there, not exactly a pleasant weather”.

“What about your parents’ homeland, it sounded like a nice place”.

“Algeria… I don’t think that’s a good idea…”

“Why not?” She asked, genuinely confused.

“It may be a beautiful place, but let’s just say there is a reason why my parents left…”

“Oh… ok then,” She said, looking away from him.

“Don’t worry, I’m sure we’ll figure something up,” he assured her.

Soon, they arrived at the small audience. Their client, Peter, was standing by the door, almost shaking in anticipation. After a quick greet, they went inside, coming face-to-face with their opponent, an old stallion. The tension was high; this was the final moment, where the young man’s future will be decided.

They gave their proposal to the mayor, who quickly began to read it. It took him around twenty minutes to read the whole thing, but for the other three, it felt like an eternity. When he lowered the documents, all of them held their breaths. To their surprised, however, the mayor was more than willing to accept their proposal. In a matter of minutes, they settled an agreement, taking Peters head out of the chopping block (metaphorically speaking, of course). Needless to say, the kid was extremely happy, proceeding to thank Luiz countless times while the pegasus waited outside.

Eventually, he bid farewell to his now former client and went outside to meet his winged companion. As he walked, Luiz couldn’t help but to smile. His mind wondered about the endless things he could do, once they reached the capital. It was time for some well-deserved rest, to go somewhere quiet and enjoy a good life for a few weeks. However, the sight of Habeas Corpus reading a letter with a confused expression shattered those thoughts.

“What’s going on, Habeas?” He asked, approaching the mare.

“I got some bad news, Luiz…” She replied. Okay, don’t panic now, it can’t be what he’s thinking it is, right?

“What is it?”

“We’re being called for another audience in Trottingham, two days from now…” No, this can’t be true. What about their vacation? Their free time and well-deserved rest? He had so many places in mind, Barcelona, Rome, the US, Buenos Aires, Dubai. They deserved that!

“What… but that’s on the other side of the country!” Slowly, realization dawned upon him, and so he said, “Fuck… some much for a vacation…”

Author's Note

First attempt at a ~~one-shot~~ (change of plans, no longer one-shot), just something I thought up a while ago while drinking some coffee.