It's a bright sunny day in Manenatoba. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping and everything is right in the world. Unfortunately for me, right doesn’t mean perfect. Although I’m not as bad off as I was a year ago, things could be a lot better. I really should count my blessings. I now have a roof, I’m still in school and can still attend my physiotherapy. Too bad I have no food.
I might as well start at the beginning. Before I was born, the doctors couldn’t tell whether or not I had a brain. As my expected birthday got closer, plans were made to perform a plethora of tests once I got out. Unsurprisingly, the tests showed I had a brain, but they couldn’t figure out why I wasn’t crying and moving around. It took three days for the nurses to sign my birth certificate. Eventually they let my mother take me home. As I grew, I didn't do things like other colts my age. Instead of playing with toys, I lined them up. I screamed when certain textures touched my skin. I wouldn’t meet anypony's eyes, even when they were right in my face.
When I was three, my mother went back to University to try and figure out why I was so different. She took an early childhood and special needs educators course. In one class, they covered a relatively new disorder known as Autism. It matched what I was doing perfectly. She went to a psychologist, and a year later they made their diagnosis. I matched every diagnostic criteria, except one; I liked human contact. And so, since my nerves didn’t react to pressure, I wasn't autistic. It was just a phase I would grow out of. I still find it ridiculous that was the reason they didn’t give me the diagnosis. Its like saying that if you can't see things far away, you need glasses; but if you have trouble seeing things that are close, your vision will restore itself if you wait a bit.
I started school a year later, and thus began my own personal Tartarus. Within three years, I had to change schools. Part of it was the rent was too high. Most of it was because I was getting the feathers kicked out of me everyday, usually with a teacher within earshot of my screams. Nothing ever happened to my bullies and the one time I fought back by biting the kid who was trying to punch me, I was suspended. It got worse at the school.
For some reason, when I didn’t understand what was happening, the teacher decided that I was playing dumb to get out of work. So they kicked me out of class and made me talk with the vice-principal about why I have to do schoolwork. I spent less than a third of my time there in the class. And then there were the bullies. They couldn't do much to me during school hours, since the administration had a TA following me constantly. So they attacked me on the bus. I finally fought back, and guess what, I got suspended. The other kid got banned from the buses since he pulled a knife on me. It was the first and only time one of my aggressors got punished.
So I got moved again, and things hit rock bottom. When I first started, it seemed so perfect. 15 people in my combined 4 grade class. Then I found the bullies. Three months later, I was pulled from the school, the police were investigating the principle and I was under 24 hour suicide watch. I was ten. Ten years old, and driven to suicide. Now, you're probably thinking that that’s the worst thing you could ever imagine. Well, think again. Things got a whole lot worse. We'll get to that part shortly.
I have a younger brother. My mother watched him very closely from day one, since autism is genetic. What she noticed was much worse. He stayed curled up and barely moved. She had the stretch out his limbs everyday for him to be able to move. He has Muscular Dystrophy. Had mother not caught it as soon as she did, he would never have walked, let alone pursue his current career in dance. And to top it off, he has Autism too. We both have diagnoses of Aspergers now. In order help with our difficulties, mother put us in physiotherapy. And of course, that costs a lot of money.
During grade 7 our rent jumped up almost 300 bits. We couldn’t afford everything before the increase. We were already using food bank and soup kitchens. Mother already worked two jobs, from 7am to 5pm, Monday to Friday. It was ether keep the apartment, or stay in physiotherapy. So, we slept in our cart for the four years, staying with friends for a few nights here and there. It was so cold, especial during the winters. I was hungry pretty much all the time, and still depressed. It had been less than two years since I tried to kill myself, and I was now homeless. We couldn't even get help from the government. When they receive word of a family that's homeless, they confiscate the kids and separate them into different foster homes, then charge the parents with child abuse. Because that makes perfect sense, destroying a family just so you can claim that there are no homeless children in your country. Also, there are no programs to help anypony who is currently working. You have to quit your job before they even look at your case.
With no help from anyone other than food bank and the soup kitchens, we survived in our cart. Mother took a third job, evenings and weekends. Day after day, we struggled to eat, mother giving us the majority of the food. At night, when she thought we were both asleep, she cried. She still cries most nights. So do I, but I don't think she knows. And then, the accident happened. At work, mother tripped and hit her head. She was off work for months. Shortly after the accident, we found our current apartment. We could afford it, food, and physiotherapy with enough money left over to start paying down the debt we had racked up trying to survive homeless. When she was forced to go back to work by the Workers Compensation, she could barely do anything. Down to 5 hours of work, we didn't have enough money to cover everything.
We dropped about half of the physiotherapy, all the food, and debt repayment. Now, we go day to day, hoping nothing happens that needs money to fix. Because we have none. Recently, I had to give up all my programs. It was just too expensive. In fact, I had given up hope completely.
I decided that maybe, if I left, my family would be better off. I ran away, and found myself lost in the forest. It was getting dark, and there were scary noises coming from the shadows. I started running, as fast as I could. I didn't even notice when I got out of the forest and started galloping through an orchard. I wasn't paying attention to where I was going, and ran into and orange mare. We both hit the dirt. I curled up, expecting her to get mad and hit me. Instead, she asked me if I was okay. It caught me so off guard. I'd come to expect the worse in ponies, and here was a pony that I had just knocked over after trespassing on her property. I did what anypony would do in my situation, I started to bawl my eyes out. She hugged me and let me settle down.
“Feeling better, Sugarcube?” she asked. I nodded and struggled to my hooves. She led me to her house and got me set up in the guest bedroom. I was exhausted, and fell asleep pretty much as soon as I layed down.
The morning, I woke up to the smell of omelets. Over breakfast, we had proper introductions. Applejack eventually got me talking about why I was running around so late at night. I told her my story, and my plan to disappear. She got up and hugged me. “Before you go and... disappear. Let me show you a few things.”
I agreed and we left the farm. After a short walk, we entered town. Everybody looked so cheerful. I must have looked so out of place, with my tear-streaked face and glum expression. Applejack lead me to to what looked like a hollowed out tree, the Golden Oaks Library. Once inside, she introduces me to her friend, Twilight Sparkle. After I explain why I'm in town, I get swept into yet another hug. Twilight makes me promise to come see her if I ever need help with anything. We say goodbye, and leave. , Applejack brings me to a different building, the Carousel Boutique. There, I meet the formidable Rarity. After hearing my story, she forbids me to ever leave my family. There's so much authority in her voice and gaze. I promise, and say goodbye.
The suns gotten quite high and Apple jack suggests we get something to eat. I agree and we head over to Sugarcube Corner. She goes in even though the sign says closed. I follow cautiously and find myself nose to nose with a very pink pony. “Ooooo! Let me guess, you ran away from home because you feel like you’re a financial burden and think you're worthless and have no one left to turn to. Am I right? Am I? I kno—” Applejack stuck her hoof in the pink things mouth. I didn't know it was possible to talk that fast. I'm torn whether to applaud or curl up and cry. I settle on opening my mouth and making a weird grunt. Applejack introduces the eccentric pink pony as Pinkie Pie. Pinkie Pie makes me Pinkie Promise to come see here anytime I feel sad. She tells me that breaking a Pinkie Promise brings about a fate worse than a muffin shortage, then glares at Applejack. We make a hasty exit.
We head towards a little cottage near the woods. Fluttershy's cottage, according to Applejack. The shy pegasus listens to my story and starts crying about halfway through. When I finish, she hugs me and invites me over for tea anytime I feel like it. I assure her I would remember, and follow Applejack out. We walk back to Sweet Apple Acres as she tells me about various adventures she's had with her friends. She keeps talking about a certain Rainbow Dash. When I ask where she is, she points to a rainbow hanging down from an apple tree. She creeps up to it and yanks the colourful tail. A cerulean pegasus falls out of the tree. Rainbow Dash glares at Applejack. “What gives? I was in the middle of an awesome dream!”
“On account there's somepony I want you to meet. One that could probably give you a run for your money in the awesomeness department,” Applejack replied, then pointed to me.
I tell my story for the sixth time that day. Afterward, Rainbow Dash had squeezed her eyes shut and was pounding the ground with a fore-hoof, I thought I saw tears in Dash’s eyes. Dash’s face was contorted, teeth gritted. Rainbow Dash’s head snapped up and her gaze was almost reverent. “SO... AWESOME! If there's anything I can do for you, come find me. Come and hug me, just don't touch the wings.” I hug her and whisper my thanks in her ear
I agreed and we continued on the Applejack's house. “You see, ponies do care about you. Go back home and be with your family. And when things get hard, come and visit. You don't have to go through life alone. Friends are always just a short trot away.”
I smile for the first time in recent memory. “I will never forget. Thank you Applejack, you've brought me back from a very dark place.” I give her one last hug. Turning towards home, I start trotting, determined to live my life to the fullest.
