Taste The Rainbow, Mother Bucker!

by Just A Fabulous Cat

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Random
Length: 1816

Discord discovers the power of Skittles.

Discord discovers the power of Skittles.

Edited By ShadowblazeCR

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-08-13 01:50:01 UTC

My Little Candy: Skittles Are Bucking Magic

Twilight and her friends stood before Tirek with determined looks on their faces. Using the power of friendship (and rainbows) again, they would defeat him. Or that's what Twilight thought. She never really figured out how it worked.

Tirek had somehow escaped his prison using nothing but a stick of butter, and now the Elements of Harmony had to defeat him before he could steal all of Equestria's magic again and take over. He had already gotten quite a lot though, resulting in him being as big as before. Even kinda fat.

Tirek put on a devilish smile, a ball of light forming in between his horns. That stick of butter had really given him a lot of power, and he knew he would win.

"Fools," he growled as Twilight's horn began to glow, eyes glowing with hope. This made Tirek smile, knowing he was going to abolish it in a moment.

"I can steal your magic in the blink of an eye, Sparkle! You have underestimated the power of butter!"

Twilight then huffed in response, about to activate rainbow magic mode. But Tirek was quicker, activating his own powers before her. So just like that, he lifted them up, consuming their magic, flight, and strength within mere seconds.

Now without their abilities, the (ex)element bearers collapsed onto the ground with dull grey eyes, utterly exhausted and unable to move. Tirek let out a victorious laugh at the sigh of them so helpless, turning around to head to find Celestia and Luna.  But Discord had other plans, when the stomping of his hooves so rudely interrupted his chocolate milk drinking.

"My, my Tirek, its been such a long time since we met!"

Tirek whipped around at the sound of a familiar enemy, to see Discord, a scowl now plastered on his face. The things were just like roaches, weren't they? Kill one, and more take its place.

"You really think you can beat me? Last time I defeated you!" he bellowed as he stomped his fore hooves on the ground, curling his lips back into a snarl.

Discord let out a laugh in return, but it was not a joyous one. More of a taunting laugh, with a hint of venom.

"Before, you simply caught me off guard. But now, I am prepared. Your butter shall not defeat me either!"

Discord then snapped his talons, growing to the height of Tirek. Then a golden sword with the words 'butter proof' carved in it appeared in a bright flash ow white, securely gripped in his paw and eagle foot. Tirek growled upon seeing this, a white ball of light forming in between his horns. Discord raised his sword in response, ready to defend himself as his tail swished back and forth. Rainbow Dash also climbed into a siting position, waiting for the epic and definitely entertaining battle to begin.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Tirek screamed as a white beam of magic went flying from between his horns at straight towards Discord. Discord raised his sword lazily, slashing the white beam away like it was a fly. It then went towards Sweet Apple Acres, bloqing up their barn.

"DARNIT! I JUST PUT THAT BUCKIN' BARN UP YESTERDAY!" Applejack screeched as splinters of wood went flying about.

"I never realized how weak you are, Tirek!" Discord sneered, enjoying the frown the beast before him put on.

Tirek then growled with frustration, any attempts at planning out how to kill Discord vanishing as he tried to blast Discord's brains out with another white beam. Discord swiftly slashed at it with his sword again, somehow splitting into two halves that flew right by him harmlessly. Well, until they blew up Twilight's castle.

"F**K!"

When Tirek yet again proved to be unsuccessful, he roared like a wild panther with anger, another white laser beam shooting out from between his horns as he charged Discord.

Discord simply flew up while reading a newspaper, making Tirek crash into Sugarcube Corner with a satisfying crunch.

"I never liked that place anyways," Pinkie Pie mumbled, waving a hoof dismissively.

Shaking the debri from in between off his body, and swatting a bit of it off, Tirek speedily whipped around with a huge ball of white light forming in between his horns, screaming at the lord of chaos in fury.

"YOU SON OF A-

Discord cut him off as he giggled like a little filly in response, enjoying the rage of Tirek.

"You fool!" Tirek bellowed as he stomped one of his forelegs, the ground shaking from the force. Then Rarity's shop fell down.

"MY DRESSES, YOU BASTAR-"

Tirek cut Rarity off.

"I will become ruler of Equestria! And nopony or spirit will stop ME!"

He then charged like he did before, a massive laser of white magic mixed with a bit of dirt heading straight towards Discord. This time Discord didn't react fast enough, for he had been snickering at Rarity's attempt at swearing, the white beam slamming into his stomach. He let out a shocked gasp it forced him to the group with a loud thud that put a smile on Tirek's face.

"Look who's in charge now," he snarled.

Tirek then charged at Discord again, another ball of white forming in between his horns.

Geez, what's with him and balls of white? Discord thought. But he, who didn't want to make the same mistake twice, proceeded to dart upwards, a crossbow now in his arms.

Discord immediately loaded it with a blue and orange striped arrow, firing at Tirek. It buried itself into Tirek's knee, forcing a cry of pain from him as he stumbled back in agony. In fact, a few tears came out of his eyes as he clutched the injured leg.

"OW! AN ARROW TO MY KNEE!" (Fanfiction readers all across the world cringed at those very words. )

Discord smiled smugly in turn as he reloaded his crossbow, this time aiming at his other leg. Tirek glared at Discord with pure rage, vowing to wipe the smug grin off his ugly face as let out the millionth ear-splitting battle cry that day, leaping upward towards Discord with all his might. He managed to grab one ifDiscord's mismatched legs, squeezing his fist as tight as he could.

Discord tried to kick him away as he muttered nasty curses, but Tirek was persistent, and he soon ended up pulling him to the ground.

As Discord's body slammed against the cold unforgiving earth, his crossbow went flying out of his hands. Tirek grinned with satisfaction as he pulled the arrow out of his knee, flinging it aside as he proceeded to approach the spirit. Or lord. Or god. Or a**hole, as Tirek as had pleasantly nicknamed him.

Discord tried to think of something clever, a chaotic to do, but it was too late by the time he came up with something. Tirek's magic went all around him as he was lifted into the air, an odd sense of weightlessness tingling about inside him. Tirek then opened his mouth, absorbing all of Discord's chaotic magic, and getting a bit fatter. Discord flailed around helplessly, the uncomfortable feeling of his magic being drained spreading through out his body along with the weightlessness. Sorta felt like vomiting when drunk, Discord observed silently.

Once done, Tirek threw him aside, beginning his march towards Celestia and Luna's castle. Since his magic was gone, Discord rapidly returned back to his original size. Once shrunken, he proceeded to desperately look around for a weapon, seeing his loaded crossbow only a few feet away. Knowing that he had to be fast, Discord swiftly got to his feet, running over to the weapon. Tirek was not a fool though, and just as Discord was about to grab it, he put his large hoof on it, breaking it into pieces. This also caused Fluttershy's house to spontaneously explode.

"Um, okay," she whimpered.

Laughing evilly, Tirek then turned around, continuing his walk. Discord eyes darted around, look around for another weapon, gleaming with desperateness. The only thing he saw on the ground was a half eaten pack of Skittles though, the words 'Taste The Rainbow' printed onto the label. As Discord groaned, searching around for something else, the memory of how the Elements last defeated Tirek filled his mind.

They defeated him with...RAINBOW MAGIC! He looked back towards the pack of Skittles, a devious grin on his face. He rushed over to the pack of skittles, speedily grabbing it in his lion paw. He then whipped around towards Tirek. He then thought of the right words to get his attention. They had to be sophisticated, ingenious.

"HEY STUPID GOAT, LOOK OVER HERE!"

Or not. Tirek angrily whipped around, scowling as he saw Discord standing up with a determined look on his face. Why was it still there?

"What now?" he asked he looked down upon the Spirit. He was growing impatient with these games. Discord grinned as he showed Tirek the Skittles.

"This!" he shouted confidently. Tirek, when seeing the pack of Skittles, burst out into laughter, grabbing a conveniently placed stick of butter and eating it.

"Y-you think you'll beat me with candy?!" he bellowed before laughing even more, eating some more conveniently placed butter.

Discord smirked as he threw the candy pack into the air while shouting,"TASTE THE RAINBOW, MOTHER BUCKER!"

The Skittles pack, activated by the words 'Taste The Rainbow' levitated for a moment before a rainbow colored beam shot out of it and straight towards Tirek.

"HA HA HA HA H-OH SH-AHHHHHHH!" Tirek was hit in the face by the Rainbow beam, making him fall onto his back with a loud crash, somehow breaking Rainbow Dash's house.

"F**ck me," she mumbled, all of anger vanishing though when Tirek spoke.

"TOO...MANY...FLAVORS..." he moaned as the Rainbow beam continued to blast into his face. Rainbow Dash then cheered on as Tirek was beaten by candy. Her favorite candy, actually.

Suddenly, a sonic rainboom-like ring then burst from the pack, going throughout all of Equestria, making bananas suddenly fall onto Celestia as she tried to do her paperwork, along with restoring magic to the victims of Tirek. D

iscord then felt a tingly sensation as his powers returned. Oh, what a relief it was! (Discord refused to use the trademarked words) The Skittles pack then fell to the ground with a soft thud, the crowd that had mysteriously gathered cheering.

Tirek rolled onto his side, a low moan escaping his lips before he began to vomit what looked like the rainbow beam.

The mane six, who now had their powers back, walked over to Discord with shocked looked on their faces. Discord turned towards them, a goofy smile on his face.

"Now what did we learn today, children?"

Rainbow Dash instantly spoke up.

"SKITTLES ARE BUCKING AWESOME!"

"F**K TIREK!" the others said in unison, their property destroyed by him.