Just Big Boned

"U-Um...I-I...uh...bathroom!"

Sweetie Belle quickly stood from her seat and bolted into the nearest room, slamming and locking the door behind her.

A moment of silence took place before Butter's dad spoke up. "Sweetie, uh...that's the closet..."

"I KNEW THAT!" she squeaked in a voice so high-pitched it could rival a dog whistle.

Butter's dad winced a bit and coughed. "So...Butter," he said, trying to change the subject. "How was your first day here in Ponyville?"

"Well, it was okay. I've had better days, but I've also had worse days," Butter answered casually.

"Oh? Did anything exciting happen?"

"Well, I just joined a club with Sweetie, Scootaloo, and Applebloom, I made some cupcakes, I got my cutie mark, and...I think that's-"

"You did?!" Butter's dad asked enthusiastically. "What is it?"

Looking skeptical, Butter's mom looked toward his son's flank. Butter decided to let his butt do the talking for him as he stood up from the couch and shifted his body to the right. He looked down at his flank and gasped softly when he realized that it was bare. "What the heck?"

"Butter? What's wrong?" his father asked.

"I-It was right there! My cutie mark was a bag of-..." He paused as he looked at his end of his tail. Stuck on it was what looked like a brown sticker of some sort. He pulled it off with his mouth and spat it out onto the ground. He glanced over it at and saw that the sticker looked just like his cutie mark, a brown bag of sugar.

Applebloom got out of her seat and looked at it. "Huh. Guess ya 'ad a sticker stuck to yer bum instead of yer cutie mark."

Scootaloo looked at it as well. "It probably got stuck to you while you were cooking up those cupcakes."

Butter groaned for what felt like the hundredth time today and said sourly, "Guess I'm still a stupid blank flank then."

"Hey!" Applebloom scolded. "There's nothin' wrong wit' having no cutie mark!"

"I know," Butter said. "But those two bullies will still make fun of me for it."

"Butter, don't listen to them. They just day that dumb stuff to make them feel better about themselves," Scootaloo reassured. "Besides, you're still a crusader!"

"An' crusaders stick together!"

"NO MATTER WHAT!" called Sweetie from the closet.

"If somepony messes with one of us, they mess with all of us."

"YEAH!" Applebloom cheered as she put her hoof in the middle of an imaginary circle between the three. Scootaloo laid her hoof on top of hers as well and then looked at Butter. Butter looked at the hoof for a second before shrugging and laying his hoof on top of Scootaloo's. "...Ahem," Applebloom fake coughed.

"Oh, a-are we doing the salute thing now?" Sweetie asked from her sanctuary.

"Yes," Applebloom answered in an annoyed tone.

Hesitating a bit, Sweetie quickly rushed over to the group and put her hoof quickly over Butter's, her other hoof hiding the obvious blush from her face.

The group began to chant. "Three..."

"THREETWOONECUTIEMARKCRUSADERS!" Sweetie blurted out quickly before rushing out the door in a hurry. "SORRYBUTTERIHAVESOMEERRANDSTODOSEEYOUTOMORROW!" she called from outside.

Butter looked past the now-open door and tried not to laugh at the sudden display of embarrassment Sweetie just now showed. The other two sighed and looked at the exit as well. "Ah well, Ah have ta go too. Ah'm pretty sure Ah have chores Big Mac wants me ta do."

"Oh, alright," Butter said.

Applebloom walked towards the exit and waved farewell to him before leaving. "See ya tomorrow, Butter!" she said before trotting off.

Butter took his glance away from Applebloom and looked towards Scootaloo. She shifted awkwardly and looked at him for a few seconds. "Um..."

"Do you need to go too?"

"I...uh...yes..." she admitted.

"Well, alright. See ya later then," Butter said to her with a small smile.

Scootaloo returned the smile and responded, "Likewise." With a small skip in her step, she slowly left the household, leaving Butter and his parents the only one in the vicinity.

Butter's dad was the first to speak. "So all your friends are fillies?"

"Popcorn! It doesn't matter if his friends are fillies or not!" his mother scolded.

"What? He's lucky! I didn't have any fillyfriends until I was sixteen!"

"Dad, they're not my 'fillyfriends.' They're just my friends who happen to be fillies," argued Butter.

Butter's father rolled his eyes. "Whatever you say, tiger." He winked a bit, making Butter gag a bit. The thought of having a fillyfriend almost makes him too sick to eat. Almost.

Which reminds me... "Anyway, what's for dinner, mom?"

His mother glared at him with the same look she always gives when she nags Butter about something. "You're STILL hungry after all those cupcakes you've eaten today?"

"W-Wait, how do you know about that? I didn't tell-"

"Instict." Butter opened his mouth to speak but said nothing. All he did was close his mouth and shrug. At this point he wouldn't be surprised if his mom DID have all-knowing powers like Nostrotdamus. "By the way, do you have any homework that needs done?"

Butter's eyes widened a bit as he turned his head towards his dad. "Oh yeah, I forgot!" His dad looked at him confusedly as Butter continued, "Dad, I have to write about a small essay about somepony who I appreciate and...well...I kinda want to do it on you because I'm really interested in your cooking and-"

"YOU ARE?" Butter's dad smiled big enough to rival even Pinkie's smile and even have her be creeped out by it. He immediately sat down on the couch and started his long rant. "Well, when I was your age I found one of my mom's cookbooks..."

~~~2 HOURS LATER~~~

"...and that's why I still wear oven mitts and goggles to this day. Second degree burns ALL over my hooves and my corneas." Butter's dad loud chuckle awoke Butter from his sleep. He shook his head and wiped his mouth from drool and looked at his father as if he was listening this whole time. "Now do you want to hear why I always wear a jock strap when making cakes?"

"NO! Um..." Butter coughed and lowered his voice to sound like it was less of a plea for help and more like a calm rejection. "I just want to know...well..." He thought for a moment before getting an idea. "What's the most exciting thing that's ever happened at your job?" he asked.

"Well, lemme think." He put a hoof on his chin and continued. "The jock strap story was pretty exciting...but I think that the most exciting thing that's happened was when I catered cupcakes for the princess."

Butter gasped. "Wait, you did?!"

He nodded. "Yep! Asked for me specifically!"

Suddenly, Butter was actually intrigued. "Tell me more about that!"

He chuckled softly as he tried to recall that memory. "Well, business was slow that day. Not many customers were coming in. All of a sudden, my old boss came running into the kitchen and starting freaking out. He started shouting that we needed to make a chocolate cupcake for someone quickly. He was really getting all flustered so I hurry up to get a cupcake done as fast as I can while still putting as much effort as I could with it. When I walked out to deliver it, I saw the princess herself sitting at a table and talking with my boss. Let me tell ya, I almost dropped it on the floor when I saw her! When I placed the cupcake in front of her and bowed down to her, she told me that she heard that my cupcakes were the best in existence and that she wanted to see if that was true."

"Well, was it?" Butter asked.

"Judging by the look on her face when she took her first bite, I think it was." He snickered and shook his head a bit. "She ordered a dozen cupcakes that day to take home and still occasionally tries to get a few orders from me. In fact, one of the reasons we moved to Ponyville was that it was convenient for her to buy cupcakes there since she occasionally visits here from time to time."

"Wow..." Butter said in complete amazement. "Wait, but if she likes your cooking so much, why doesn't she just hire you to work for her castle or something?"

"For two reasons mainly. First, I'd have to serve food to the princesses exclusively. I'd much rather prefer serving to a large group of ponies so that I could get different reactions from them and see them smile when they get their treats. Second, and more importantly, I'd have to work most of the year. I wouldn't have time to spend with your mom and you."

"But, wait. You could be making lots of money right now! Like if you work for the princess you could live in a CASTLE! You'd be rich!"

He chuckled at the little colt's reaction. "Family is more important to me than money, Butter. I'd much prefer to be your father than to be the richest stallion in the world." He ruffled his son's mane gently, making Butter smile a little bit. "So, do you know what you're going to write about now?"

Butter thought for a bit before responding. "I think so..."

"Good. I'm glad I could help." He stood up from his seat and walked towards the kitchen. "I'll make you a personal hay pizza to help you get your brain thinking."

Butter gazed back at the kitchen and smiled more. "Thanks, Dad." He then glimpsed back at his bag and walked towards it, opening it up with his mouth and pulling out some paper and a pencil. He thought for a moment and started writing down his thoughts. A few minutes into it, he suddenly got an idea. He looked back towards the kitchen again and called out, "Dad? Do you still have that cupcake recipe you made for Princess Celestia?"