In which Prince Blueblood attempts to acquire a wife
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The Woes of Prince Blueblood
In which Prince Blueblood attempts to acquire a wife
Prince Blueblood sat on his window seat, sulkily gazing at the courtyard below. He was contemplating what his parents had told him a few days ago. They were sick of him throwing their money around on extravagances, and lounging around the manor when he wasn’t attending social events. And when he was spending time in Canterlot, he was forever contacting home for extra money for something or rather. He was nothing but a drain on the family’s resources, and not a gracious drain either.
As the family could never bring themselves as low as to find honest work, they instead insisted that Blueblood should find a suitable mare to marry and settle down. A wife would not only take him away from the playcolt lifestyle he had grown accustomed to, but also secure the family line by hopefully producing an heir or two. Blueblood, of course, hated the idea, declaring himself too young to think about the responsibilities of being a husband and father. He whined in front of his parents for a good half hour before his father put his hoof down and firmly told him that until he was married, his allowance would be completely cut off. Blueblood was left speechless, a rare occurrence, and remained in his room for the rest of the day and the next. He only emerged when he remembered he had to travel to Canterlot for the annual Gala.
Blueblood sighed. He had given the matter a lot of thought, and he could think of no other way to get around his problem. Without his monthly allowance, he would have nothing to live on. He knew his Aunts Celestia and Luna were not particularly fond of him, and would eventually kick him out of their castle (their benevolence would only reach so far). His friends were often the ones asking him for money, and those that could afford to lend him some would only leap at the chance of having an advantage over the prince. He would not allow himself to fall in the position of owing others money. There was only one way out, and it involved him saying “I do.”
He had now accepted his fate. He would have to woo a mare, not for a short fling, or even a few hours of his own amusement, but to potentially become his future wife. The only thing to think about now was: who?
She would have to be attractive of course. Though he hated his fate, he didn’t see any reason why he would have to be entirely miserable. From a good family, another obvious necessity. Wealthy, perhaps, in case his father had any other funny ideas. Submissive, or witty? Intelligent, or with just enough brain cells to know who called the shots in their partnership? Blueblood sighed again. He had never really cared about a mare’s personality up until now, just so long as they weren’t too obnoxious. All relationships he had ever had only lasted a few weeks, a couple of months at the most. Now he had to think about what sort of mare he would live with for the rest of his life! Or would he be allowed to divorce after the first foal was born? Knowing his father, probably not.
There was also the question of who would be worthy of him. In days gone by, aristocratic ponies would wed other aristocratic ponies. However, as the dangers of inbreeding became more well-known, lords and ladies would look to those as admired as themselves: stars. Opera stars, theatre stars, warriors known for their heroic deeds, these individuals became worthy enough to rub shoulders with those who were born worthy. The thought of having to date a celebrity on a long-term basis made the prince grimace, though if it had to come to that...
He was grateful that the Gala was tonight. It was the perfect place to mingle with high society and seek out satisfactory suitors. And unlike the previous galas, he would make sure he acted with slightly more charm.
A movement down below caught his eye. A carriage pulled up to the castle gates and was opened by one of the palace guards who saluted the ponies climbing out. The first was a pink earth pony who zoomed out and began greeting every guard she could see before rejoining the group she had travelled with. This was made up of five other ponies and a small reptilian creature. A baby dragon, perhaps? It was hard to tell from this distance.
Blueblood thought for a moment about who these ponies could be, then remembered that his Auntie Celestia had mentioned something about the Elements of Harmony attending the Gala this year, despite the utter chaos they had created the last time. A few members of the upper class had stuck their noses up at the thought of their returning, but for the most part there was a lot of excitement for their upcoming presence. These six mares had saved Equestria from certain doom several times, and were held in very high esteem.
Blueblood sat up suddenly, a thought occurring to him. These particular mares were well renowned throughout the land for their deeds of bravery, and many a feasts and celebrations had been held in their names. Stories of their latest endeavours were commonplace in social gatherings, and there were even rumours of a musical being written about their adventures. Any of them would be a fitting commodity by his side.
He tried to scoot closer to the window to get a better look. Unfortunately, their features were hard to make out. All he could see were their basic shapes and colours. He frowned as he watched some servants struggle with a large amount of luggage the white one had seemed to bring with her. He got up and started to search for his newspaper, and once found he flicked through it until he came across a photo of the six ponies and a purple dragon, who had made quite a name for himself in the Crystal Empire apparently.
He studied the photograph. All six of them were fairly attractive, in their own way. Feminine features, bright coats, clear eyes; none of them could be described as plain. He was slightly reluctant to consider the earth ponies or pegasi, as unicorns were much more desirable in his world, but he knew he shouldn’t discard them completely. His own maternal grandmother was an earth pony herself, so he wasn’t exactly pure. He decided that for the rest of the day he would research these mares, and make a plan of action for each of them tonight. He smiled to himself, confident his problems would soon be over. After all, what sort of mare could resist his charm and looks, or at the very least, his title?
He straightened his bowtie, and gave himself one final look-over in the mirror. Perfect, Blueblood thought to himself. With regal poise, he walked over to the door and elegantly opened it with his magic. As he travelled through the door and down the halls he kept his composure (though there was nopony to see him) and ran through his mind his plans for the evening. As he neared the hall, the sounds of music and idle chatter grew louder, telling him he had not arrived too early. He walked down the last flight of stairs and saw Princess Celestia greeting her guests and ushering them into the hall beyond.
“Auntie!” Blueblood called. “I do hope this year’s Grand Galloping Gala is shaping up to be our best yet.”
“All is going well so far,” Celestia replied, smiling at him. “Unfortunately some of our regular goers have boycotted this year when they heard I had invited the Elements of Harmony, but not as many as I had feared.”
“Are Equestria’s saviours already inside?” he inquired with what he hoped sounded liked mild interest.
“I believe so. I said Pinkie Pie could help with the final touches of decoration, and the others wanted to keep an eye on her, probably so she wouldn’t go too far. They needn’t have worried, the hall looks absolutely splendid.”
A small shudder went through Blueblood, which he quickly hid with another winning smile. “I cannot wait to see it for myself. See you later, Auntie.”
“Enjoy yourself, Blueblood,” replied Celestia, before turning back to the large queue of ponies in front of her, a few of whom were struggling to hide their annoyance of having to wait patiently for the princess to finish her conversation with her nephew.
Blueblood braced himself for what awaited him through the double doors that led to the gala. Once through he gazed cautiously around the hall at the decor. It wasn’t the spectacular mess he was expecting, however there were a few more balloons and streamers than he had experienced at previous galas. The overall impression was still fairly elegant, there was just a bit more...colour. Still, thought Blueblood, Celestia was clearly out of her mind when she allowed somepony other than the royal gala organisers access to the decorations.
He surveyed the ponies before him. Most were cheerfully chatting away over a glass of champagne, or sampling the hors d’oeuvres. A few had gathered in the middle of the hall, and were gently waltzing to the music coming from the orchestra. Eventually his eyes fell upon a white unicorn mare in a deep purple gown laced with gold highlights and blue sequins. A simple tiara graced her head, holding her mane in a high bun. She looked stunning. The prince smiled to himself, silently congratulating himself for singling out Rarity first. Classically beautiful and naturally elegant, she was practically made for somepony like him. Although from a small country town, her coat implied she had some noble blood within her. The only problem she had was, though she looked, sounded and acted the part, she could never be the part. She tried so hard to belong to the high society of Canterlot, that she could never truly join them. She was merely a poor imitation compared to the true elite. This is perhaps what had attracted Blueblood to her the first time. She wanted to court a prince, and he was more than happy to teach her that with him ladies never came first, unless you were a Princess of course.
Tonight would be different though. During his research, he remembered the cake incident and had forgiven her for it. This time, he would be the prince she had always wanted, whether she deserved it or not. He quickly looked into a shiny silver plate to check his mane, and strolled over to the lucky mare.
“Excuse me, Miss Rarity?” he said as he approached her.
Rarity stopped admiring the jewelled cutlery on the nearby table, and turned towards the voice. “Yes?” she said politely, before narrowing her eyes as she realised who wanted her attention.
“Prince Blueblood. We met at a previous Grand Galloping Gala, if you recall?” He bowed low, lower than he usually would have done, and gave one of his most charming smiles as his head came back up.
“Yes, I certainly do recall,” she replied, not attempting to disguise the venom in her voice, and had a look of utter disgust on her face.
Composure, Blueblood, he reminded himself. Some resentment was to be expected. With some difficulty, he swallowed his pride. “I wish to apologise for acting like a complete oaf that night. As a member of the Royal Family, it is my duty to ensure the happiness of my subjects, especially honoured guests such as yourself.” He made the sad face he had practised earlier that day. “I do hope you can forgive me, and join me again tonight as I attempt to right those wrongs.”
Rarity’s expression changed from repulsion to suspicion, which then began to give way to a look of sympathy.
This may be easier than I thought! Blueblood inwardly smiled in triumph.
Rarity’s face hardened slightly again. “It is true you acted in a most ungentlecolt way that night, and you had almost ruined my entire evening. However, I do know that everypony deserves a second chance.” She smiled kindly at him with her last sentence.
Fighting the impulse to reprimand her for insinuating that she was in any way better than him, he offered his hoof and asked “Would you care for a dance, my lady?”
“Rarity!” Blueblood and Rarity looked around to see a small dragon running up to them. “I’m ready for that dance you promised me.” He held out his claw and instantly became a little shy, a blush forming across his face.
“Ooh! Spikey-Wikey!” exclaimed Rarity, as she leaped towards the dragon and squeezed his cheeks. “What a perfect little gentlecolt, in your wittle tux. You’re even wearing that bowtie I made you. I knew it would accentuate your eyes.” She then started adjusting the bejewelled accessory with great care. “Of course I would love to dance with you! That is if you don’t mind.” She turned to Blueblood with huge eyes. “The poor dear has been going on about this dance for quite some time. I’m sure you can spare me for just a few moments.”
She batted her long eyelashes at him pleadingly.
Blueblood stared in shock. Not only was she passing him up, but for a baby dragon no less! Him, the most eligible bachelor in the whole of Equestria, nephew of Princess Celestia, turned down for a lizard who had barely removed his eggshell. There was something clearly wrong with this mare, but he would give her one more chance of redemption, to show she wasn’t completely mad.
“Excuse me, but I believe I asked first,” he huffed, letting her know he was offended. “Your...friend is welcome to wait until his turn.”
“Hey! I asked Rarity two weeks ago!” said Spike indignantly. “I asked first, so I should get the first dance!”
“You should learn the proper manners when addressing your superiors!” Blueblood snapped. “Now, kindly be on your way, and think before attempting to communicate with those out of your league.”
A flash of anger and hurt went across Spike’s face, but it was nothing compared to the rage felt by Rarity.
“How dare you speak to Spikey-Wikey that way!” she said furiously. “You are the one who should learn some manners! I thought that maybe you had changed, but now I see you just as arrogant, rude and self-centred as before!”
Blueblood gaped at her. “You should be honoured that I chose to seek you out and spend time with you, both then and now. However, you feel like you are entitled to special treatment, just because you are a mare who can imitate a cultured accent. You need to keep in mind that I am a Prince, and as such you must show yourself worthy of me, and not the other way around.”
He could have sworn he saw flames burning bright in her eyes, before she shut them and put her nose up in the air. “Come, Spike,” she said haughtily, as she walked towards the dance floor. “I wish my first dance to be with a true gentlecolt. I do hope I’m worthy of your time.”
“Always, my lady,” Spike replied, bowing before he followed. He turned around to give one more glare at Blueblood, and stuck out his tongue for good measure.
Blueblood stood shaking with rage. He had never felt so offended in his life. Both that country mare and lizard had directly insulted him, and even mocked him. If she thought he would stoop so low again to please and win her over, she could think again. There were plenty of others who would gladly throw themselves at his hooves if it would win them a few seconds of his attention.
My first endeavour may have been unsuccessful, he thought, but I have five more chances. Hopefully they will not be as fickle and dim-witted. He looked around the hall again seeking out his next target. When he was unable to find her, he wandered into the gardens, where a few ponies had gathered for some air and to admire the beautiful floral arrangements. The crowd wasn’t large, as it was still early in the night, and he soon located Princess Twilight Sparkle conversing with his Auntie Luna.
Some would think that the new princess would be his first choice, though something still made him slightly reluctant to attempt to court her. Her title was certainly desirable, that and her castle made her more than worthy of him, but maybe that was what was holding him back. As a princess, she outranked him. Before her coronation, only the other three princesses and his parents had that claim. If they were to marry, he would be the accessory, the second instead of the other way around. She would always be above him. Could he live like that? Though it would mean he could be completely independent of his parents, and the marriage would boost his status greatly. He would answer to nopony, except for his wife. Even to his Aunts he would no longer be just their tolerated nephew, but the official partner to one they considered equal. In the end, it all came down to one question. Would he rather be master of his own house, or deputy to another’s castle?
Imagining his father’s face when he told him that he had won the hoof of a princess was enough to persuade him. With a bit more spring in his step he moved toward the princesses, whilst considering what else he knew of the young alicorn. Celestia’s personal student at the School of Gifted Unicorns, and leader of the Elements of Harmony, there was no doubt she was intelligent and strong-willed, although that would make it harder for him to have any dominance in their relationship. But with her princess duties, he would most likely be left alone to enjoy the new lifestyle he would gain.
He stopped a short distance from the alicorns, waiting for them to finish talking. Despite her nature softening over the last few years since her return, his auntie Luna still terrified him. It would not do well to woo Twilight right in front of her. Eventually, Luna wrapped up their conversation and turned back towards the hall, and Blueblood made his advance.
“Princess Twilight Sparkle,” he called, bowing low as he reached her. He had to play very humble with this one.
“Oh! Uh...Prince Blueblood,” she replied. “What a pleasure to finally meet you. Are you enjoying the Gala?”
She seemed hesitant. Rarity had probably given him a bad reference. He needed to change that. “I most certainly am. It is a most glorious night, and it has been made all the more wonderful thanks to your presence.”
“Uh...thanks,” she said, still sounding uncertain.
“I read all about your exploits with Tirek,” he went on, “though I would like a firsthoof account, if you would be so kind.” He had learned from experience that mares often liked talking about themselves.
“Oh. Well, there isn’t really that much to talk about,” she said, blushing. A good sign. “I was able to successfully challenge him thanks to the other princess’ magic, though it wasn’t quite enough. I thought all hope was lost when...”
He tuned her out after a while. There was something about friendship, a key, the real magic comes from those around you or whatever.
It was like listening to one of Celestia’s lectures.
“...and that’s all there was to it,” she finished cheerfully. Recounting her adventure had definitely perked her up.
“Fascinating!” Blueblood stated, imitating her cheeriness. “You certainly lead an interesting life. Would you care to accompany me to the lawn to view the stars? I can think of no other mare I’d wish to have at my side.” He gave her one of his best smiles and wiggled his eyebrows slightly.
“Ah...” Twilight replied, a little embarrassed. “You see...um...You seem like a really nice guy, and I might be misreading signals here, but I’m not really looking for a special somepony at the moment.”
Blueblood frowned. “Why not? You’re an adult, single, more than desirable. What’s holding you back?”
“I just don’t feel I’m ready yet. I only started making friends a few years ago. And since becoming a princess, almost all the stallions that have approached me only seem to be interested in my title. I want somepony who likes me for me, and not my position. Does that make sense?”
So he wasn’t the first to come up with this idea. “You do have to realise, that now you’re part of the elite, companionship cannot be based completely upon compatibility of personalities, though that does come in do it. You need to think about compatibility of status. It just won’t do for your image if you court somepony far below you. To gain the respect and admiration of the common pony, you cannot bring yourself down to their level. Be aloof, separate. Make every life choice a statement, especially whom you date.”
Twilight stared at him with her mouth open, then brought her hoof to face as if she were suffering from a particularly nasty headache. “That has to be...the sickest thing I have ever heard.” She uncovered her face to show her rage. “You really think I can only date some rich snob to show that I’m ‘better’ than everypony else? That I should only marry to help my ‘image’? My brother wasn’t some fancy pony, yet he still married Princess Cadence! Not for any status boosting, but because they both loved each other! You...ooh...!” Her anger had finally managed to overwhelm her ability to form intelligible speech.
Blueblood pouted, the reason he was talking to this mare long since forgotten. “Your brother was Captain of the Royal Guard, not exactly a dirt-poor common farmer. And I’m sure he exploited his position to ensure he was stationed close enough to Cadence to adequately seduce her.”
He suddenly regretted what he had said and stepped back when he thought he saw sparks flaring from her horn. Her whole body was tense and shaking with rage, her teeth grinding and her ears flat against her head. It would have been difficult to tell whether she was about to explode or kill him on the spot, the latter being exceedingly likely if it weren’t for the number of witnesses. Instead, she composed herself just enough to say, “Rarity was right about you. Good luck finding somepony to meet your standards.” She grumbled under her breath as she walked towards the hall.
The prince stood still for a few moments, trying to get his breath back. When he had calmed down, he huffed and stuck his nose in the air, making a point of ignoring those looking at him curiously. He trotted away in no particular direction to make sense of what had just happened. In hindsight, it was probably not a clever idea to insult the princess’ brother, but he did not want to hear another speech about equality. Besides, he needed her to see reason. He tried to feel justifiably offended, but couldn’t help thinking that he had potentially dodged a bullet.
He now had to plan his next move. Both attempts at wooing the unicorns had failed, so he would have to move on to the pegasi. Not as elegant and graceful as unicorns, but certainly better than those cumbersome earth ponies. He altered his route towards the gardens, positive that the third mare on his list would be far more compliant.
After a few minutes of searching, he eventually found her admiring a bush of large orange flowers. The yellow pegasus was wearing a translucent green dress laced with gold trimming, and was humming to herself as she moved excitedly from plant to plant. She soon noticed some birds perched on a nearby tree, and sang a few notes to them. She looked slightly annoyed when they promptly flew away, but cheered herself up by going back to sniffing the variety of flora.
Blueblood thought back to his research. Fluttershy, the Element of Kindness, was known for her meek and gentle nature, and her love of animals. The animal thing may not be ideal, but her submissiveness would make her easy to control. He watched the scene before him, amused at how it reminded him of something from a fairy tale. A fair maiden singing to the woodland creatures, before the handsome prince came in to sweep her off her hooves. He raised his head a little as he thought this. Surely this must be destiny.
“Excuse me, miss,” he called, trotting over. “I am Prince Blue-aah!” His front hoof suddenly fell down a ditch that wasn’t there before, taking the rest of his body with him. There was a soft squelch as his face met with the mud at the bottom.
“Oh my!” he heard a soft voice say. He raised his head to see Fluttershy peering down at him, her face filled with concern. “Are you alright?”
He groaned as he got up, trying not to think about the muck covering most of his body. “I’m fine, thank you,” he said curtly. Stay calm. Don’t slip up this time.
She offered her hoof to help him out of the ditch, but he ignored it and managed to climb out himself. He did take her tissue to clean his face though, and after a deep breath gave her his charming smile. “As I was saying, I am Prince Blueblood. Do forgive me if I startled you. I was just admiring your lovely singing voice.”
“Oh. You were listening?” she said embarrassedly, her cheeks reddening. “I hope I wasn’t too loud. I didn’t want to disturb anypony.”
“Nonsense. It was an absolute delight, and I am honoured to have finally made your acquaintance, Miss Fluttershy. I have heard much about you.”
“Y-you have?” she stammered.
“Your exploits with your friends are quite well known.” He moved a little closer to her. “Though I would love to get to know the real you-ow!” A branch had chosen that exact time to break and fall squarely on his head.
“Oh dear!” Fluttershy hovered to inspect the newly formed bump. “Let me have a look at that.”
“I’m fine.” He fought through the pain as he tried to wave her off. Some gardeners are going to be sacked for this. “I was wondering, perhaps you would care to join me-ugh!” A rather large bird dropping spattered across his shoulder. He could no longer hide his distress as he backed away and collided with the tree behind him, disturbing the creature who lived within. A series of bites and scratches formed across his back legs and hindquarters as he flailed about screaming “Get it off me! Get if off me!” He eventually managed to shake off his attacker when he slipped on a discarded banana peel.
Fluttershy had observed all this with wide eyes and her hoof over her mouth, unsure as to whether she should intervene. When he recovered enough to pick himself up, she approached him nervously. “Are you OK?”
He was shaking considerably. He was filthy, sweaty, and covered in numerous bumps and bruises. “I-,” he started to utter a response, but unfortunately a swarm of bees swooped down and took over his face, until his head was nothing but a tornado of angry buzzing.
With one last screech, he sprinted as fast as he could back towards the castle, as a very confused Fluttershy watched his rapidly receding form.
Up above them, a certain draconequus lounged in the canopy of the trees, wearing a very smug grin. He did not like the look of that pony as soon as he had set eyes on him, and did not hesitate expressing his dislike. Besides, he was not quite ready for Fluttershy getting involved with stallions. Especially not that sort of stallion.
Prince Blueblood examined himself in the mirror. As soon as he had reached the castle (using a side entrance so as not to humiliate himself further) he went straight to the palace nurses who were on standby in an office near the kitchens, and demanded that they put him straight. The younger of the two had almost failed to stifle her giggles when she saw the mass of red swollen lumps that dominated the prince’s face. The elder was much more professional, and immediately set about applying various creams and healing spells. The swelling went down considerably, though he was still fairly blotchy and his face ached. The younger nurse offered him some make-up to cover the worst of it, which he reluctantly accepted. He then called for a valet to meet him in his room to change and groom. This normally would have taken a couple of hours, but time was of the essence, so he settled for a quick rinse and brush. He didn’t look perfect, but he was presentable. Besides, the three remaining mares didn’t seem to care that much about looks.
He sighed as he straightened his bowtie, remembering how he felt when he was performing this task earlier that evening. He had been so confident, so assured. He had predicted that by this time he would already have a mare at his side, showing off to the assembly and silently making wedding plans. But no. They had to be difficult. The first two refused to recognise the golden opportunity presented to them, instead throwing his generosity back in his face. He couldn’t really blame the pegasus, as she didn’t actually do anything, but he knew he couldn’t seek her out again after that fiasco.
He shook his head, ridding himself of negative thoughts. He still had three other mares on his list. Granted, they were on the bottom half, but they were still Elements of Harmony and therefore still worth pursuing. He would learn from his previous mistakes: be patient, be polite and stay indoors. He gave his reflection an encouraging smile, and strode down back to the Gala.
He saw the rainbow pegasus at the far end of the hall, happily talking to some wonderbolts. His target acquired, he marched forward confidently. He was a prince, nephew to Princess Celestia. He was wealthy, handsome, the most eligible bachelor in the whole of Equestria. Everywhere he went ponies would turn their heads in awe, wishing that his gaze would fall upon them for just one millisecond. Some would throw themselves at his hooves just for his acknowledgement, his acquaintanceship. Nothing would get in his way of achieving his goal tonight.
Except for perhaps the aforementioned pegasus flying right up to his face.
“Hey mister!” she said angrily. “I hear you’ve been giving my friends a hard time.”
Blueblood blinked a few times, trying to process what had just happened. “Uh...”
“Where do you get off insulting ponies like that?” she continued, ignoring the gathering audience. “Nopony upsets my friends. Nopony! I don’t know what your game is, Blueblood, but if you don’t back off, I’ll give you a couple of black eyes!” She shook her hoof dangerously close to his nose.
Blueblood backed away, terrified. The mare didn’t stop glaring at him until he turned away and quietly left the room. He breathed heavily, after fearing for his life again that night. That mare was definitely not wife material for him. When his pulse had returned to normal, he thought back to what she had said. The other mares had told her about him. Warned her about him. He should have seen this coming. They were friends with each other, after all. Any first impressions he wanted to make would now be tainted by stories of his previous escapades. He was beginning to think about giving up with this endeavour. Was his allowance really worth this amount of strife?
He looked around the room he had entered. He was in a spacious antechamber off the hall for those who wanted a slightly quieter atmosphere. He then saw another of the six talking to some noble ponies about the food on the table, the latter looking thoroughly confused. It was the mare who worked on a farm, though Blueblood had to admit that she certainly cleaned up nicely. Might as well, he thought. He straightened himself, raised his head and walked over, though the swagger he had at the evening’s start had dwindled somewhat by now.
“Ahem,” he coughed, hoping she had not spent a significant amount of time with her friends tonight. “A pleasure to meet you, my lady. I am Prince Blueblood.”
“Well howdy there!” she replied cheerfully. “Ah’m Applejack. Ah was jus’ tellin’ these good folks here tha’ the bes’ way ta make apple tarts is by usin’ apples tha’ are naturally tangy, so the taste isn’t o’erpower’d by these extra spices. Y’all would think tha’ the ‘Grand Gallopin’ Gala’ would ‘ave chefs tha’ knew wha’ fruits ta use.”
Blueblood blinked. What did she say? Something about apples? “I quite agree, Miss Applejack. You would most certainly understand these things.”
“Oh well, thaink you, sugarcube,” she said cheerfully. “An’ here Ah was thinkin’ this place was filled wi’ nothin’ bu’ fancy frou-frou ponies who wouldn’t know proper food when they tasted it. Only eatin’ tiny portions, wi’ more focus on the cutlery than the actual grub, costin’ ten times more than a proper meal. Why, if mah Granny Smith was here...”
He tried to keep up, but he was so tired that when her words reached his ears they resembled the apple mush she seemed to be complaining about. Eventually, he realised he could take no more. “I just...don’t understand you,” he said, defeated. He turned and left without another word.
“Huh,” said Applejack, confused. “Don’t a pony like tha’ know proper English when he hears it?”
He sat at a table by himself, nursing a drink, utterly depressed. The evening had been a complete failure. They had insulted him, threatened him, and humiliated him. In front of the entire Gala. He could hear ponies muttering amongst themselves, stealing looks when they thought he wasn’t watching. He was dreading the articles that would appear in tomorrow’s newspapers. Eye-witness accounts of how he ran away from an angry pegasus, photos of his face covered with boils, maybe even an interview with the apple farmer. Good luck with that, he thought bitterly.
What would his parents think? He had brought shame upon the family. He couldn’t hold a simple conversation with any of the Elements of Harmony. What hope did he have of marrying somepony that both he and his parents would approve of? What hope did he have of marrying anypony at all?
“Hi there!”
Blueblood yelped as he fell of his seat. He was helped up by a pink earth pony wearing a bright blue gown.
“Sorry about that,” she said. “I get over-excited at times. Especially when I’m somewhere really exciting like the Grand Galloping Gala! I was here before a few years ago, though it was kinda boring. But when Princess Celestia invited me she said I could help out with the decorations! And I made sure I spent plenty of time with my friends this time, like I should have been doing last time. I’ve had so much fun and so have the others and everypony I’ve seen, so when I saw you all miserable, I got confused. Is it the sad music? I tried making some suggestions to the band, but they showed me this thing called a ‘restraining order’. Why you would want to restrain somepony at a dance, I don’t know. Wouldn’t that just make things difficult?”
She finally paused long enough for Blueblood to say, “Please, enough. I just want to be left alone.” He took another sip of his drink.
“Why would you want to be left alone?” she asked. “Are you an introvert? Some of my friends are introverts, but they still like to have fun once in a while. And they never look as sad as you unless something’s wrong. Is there something wrong?” She frowned lightly, showing concern.
He sighed. “Let’s just say tonight hasn’t gone exactly as planned.”
“Boy, where have I heard that one before!” She was now sitting in a chair next to him. “It’s like that saying from one of Twilight’s books: ‘The best laid plans of mice and ponies often go awry’. Or is it schemes? Plans, schemes, plans, schemes. I’ll have to ask Twilight. Anyway, just because things don’t go your way doesn’t mean you should be sad. Sometimes my parties don’t go the way I planned, but they’re still super duper fun because all my friends are there. Anything can be awesome if you have your friends with you. Where are you friends?” She looked around, as if expecting them to pop up from underneath the surrounding tables.
“Enjoying themselves, no doubt,” he replied gloomily. They didn’t have pressures of marriage hanging over their heads, forcing them to look like idiots in front of commoners.
“Leaving you here all on your own?” the mare exclaimed. “That is so sad! I would hate to be left all alone. It would be so...so...lonely! I know!” She suddenly brightened up again. “I’ll be your friend. My name is Pinkie Pie. What’s yours?”
“Prince Blueblood,” he answered, trying and failing to add some shred of dignity to his voice.
“Blueblood. Blueblood. Where have I heard that name before?” She looked away, thinking hard. “Oh! I remember! You’re that stallion that my friends keep complaining about. You were kinda rude, you know?” She gave him a scolding look.
“I am a Prince. I may act as I choose,” he said indignantly, a part of his old self returning.
“Not if you wanna make friends,” said Pinkie. “You have to be nice to others. That way, they’ll be nice to you, and wanna be your friends. If you’re gonna be a meany-pants, then of course you’re gonna wind up alone on a table, drinking...” She quickly took his glass and gave a small sniff. She pulled a face and promptly pushed it away again. “You may wanna cut down on those too. You’re gonna get a terrible headache in the morning.”
He pouted, not liking how his drinking habits were being criticised. “I don’t need any more friends. I am perfectly happy how I am. If I ever do feel lonely, I can just go to a social gathering, or throw one myself. My title is enough to gain respect from those I wish it from.”
“But doesn’t that make you feel sad? That ponies only like the Prince part and not the Blueblood part?”
Something jumped inside him. Something he had not given much thought to before. Ponies only ever gave him their respect because of his status. He hadn’t minded before, since it didn’t matter to him. But now that it had been brought to his attention, he couldn’t help but think: if you take away the Prince, what was he? Rich? That came with the title. Witty? His associates only laughed because they felt they had to. Charming? Only when he wanted something in return. No wonder he had been rejected several times that night. These mares had clearly shown no interest to the fact he was a prince, and he had nothing else to offer them. Maybe...maybe he should try being something other than his title. Something ponies would like regardless of where he was born. Something...more.
He looked at Pinkie Pie, the mare who had shifted his perception of the world. The one who had not drawn back or threatened him. The one who had been nice to him, just because he looked sad. Maybe...
“Hey, Pinkie!” a voice called. “Get over here! They’re playing your favourite!”
“Ooh! I love this song!” exclaimed Pinkie Pie, bouncing up and down. The band was now playing an up-beat tune with a very fast tempo. “Wanna join in?”
He smiled inwardly to himself. Much too loud. “No thank you. I think I may turn in,” he said, getting up.
“Turn in to what?” she asked, confused.
He shook his head. “Never mind. Go and join your friends.”
“Okie-dokie-lokie!” she said before zooming off into the crowd.
He made his way out of the hall, knowing he had a lot to think about tomorrow after his hangover. Maybe he would swallow his pride, and ask one of his friends for financial support until he got his life in order. Start giving more thought to the relationships he forged for himself. Maybe even change the way he treated those below his status.
“Oof!” he cried as a waiter bumped into him. “Watch where you’re going, you complete simpleton!”
“Sorry, sir!” said the waiter, trying to settle the tray of glasses he was carrying. “I didn’t see you there.”
“You would do well to pay attention in future, unless you want your job on the line.” Blueblood strode past him, nose high in the air. “Servants!”
Well, some habits are hard to change.
Author's Note
This is my first fanfic, so please be nice.
Thought this would be a funny idea. Hope you enjoyed it!
