Rainbow Dash hated school. It was lame. In fact, it was so lame she'd rather go into labour a hundred times over. But she didn't want to get treated like a homeless pony who didn't attend school, nor did she want a hundred babies. So Rainbow went, against her will and screaming about child abuse as her Mum literally carried her to school.
But on this particular Monday morning, it was worse than going into labour a thousand times over. This week was SATS week. Rainbow had tried flying away, but man her Mum was strong. She eventually gave up and let her Mum drag her. Again.
When she arrived, Rainbow Dash trotted into the classroom, armed with a rubber band she'd smuggled in by hiding it under her wing. Muahahahaha, let's see how they like THIS!
She set out her plan of action. Number one: Smuggle the band into the dreaded classroom. Check. Number two: Create a distraction. Cross. She sat at her seat, thinking up a witty distraction.
In walked the teacher, Miss. Ponyfeather. Her mane was a deep grey and her fur a dirty white. She had boring, brown eyes, which went with the rest of her. Her emotions would go extreme when she drank coffee. She'll have a patch on her face where the fur was by the end of this, Dash thought, snickering.
She had already figured out her distraction. She was just waiting for the right time to use it.
"Right studentsh, ash you know today ish SHATS day-"
"HOLY SNOZZLEBERRIES! IT'S A MONKEY WITH FOUR HEADS!"
Everypony turned their heads and Rainbow Dash pulled out her weapon. She readied it between her two front hooves. Number two: Create a distraction. Check. Number three: Flick the band!
Rainbow Dash let the band fly towards the boring teacher as she turned and began saying, "Rainbow Dash, what ish the me-"
Then it hit her in the face. In the eye, precisely.
"Right in the eye!" yelled one pony.
Number three: Check. Number four: Fly!
Rainbow Dash squee'd as she zoomed into the hallways. She wouldn't try the windows again, not after how her face looked when she realized they were bulletproof. She had been the school's laughing stock for days.
Rainbow left the room, and she's too awesome to talk about what happened in there, so we're going to skip that part. She rushed out of the door (which was thankfully not locked) and flew out into the open skies.
Back in the classroom, everypony was in a daze, and Miss Ponyfeather was blinking rapidly. She picked up her mug of coffee off of the table, calmly taking a sip. Then her eyes narrowed, she took her time in kneeling down on the floor, she looked up at the ceiling, then rose her hoof. "WHAT THE F-"
Rainbow Dash was in clear skies, racing past clouds and ponies bearing the "Why-aren't-you-at-school" face. She roughly pushed some adults out of the way, many of which tried to grab her afterwards. She found a loose clouds on the outskirts and settled down to sleep.
"-and it hit me in da eye, shir! Da eye!"
"This is not unusual from Rainbow Dash. No worries, we'll just send out Fattershy to get her back. Or was it Crappashy? FATTERSHY!"
A tall pegasus filly rushed in. "Yes?"
"Ah, so it was Fattershy."
"Actually, it's Flutt-"
"Anyway, go get Rainbow Dash for me. And take these Skittles. They attract her."
Rainbow Dash, the most amazing pony in Equestria, lay napping on a cloud. Fluttershy, the quietest pony in Equestria, flew up to her and poked her rump. "R-Rainbow-"
"POLICE!" Rainbow Dash shot up into the air in a fighting stance, startling Fluttershy. "Oh, it's you." She lay back down and closed her eyes.
"Um... you need to be back at school..."
"Yeah, yeah... go back and tell them I'm coming in a minute," she grabbed the Skittles from Fluttershy's hooves and cuddled them to her chest. "And thanks for the Skittles."
"You're welcome... and I'll tell them."
"Wait... do you have paper and a pen?"
Fluttershy handed over the paper and pen, watching as Rainbow scrawled down a message with a cocky smile.
"Take this to them," she said, "as a monument of my non-appreciation."
Mr Hoof grunted as a message was handed to him, in the form of a small, folded piece of paper. Fluttershy smiled faintly. "Um... Rainbow Dash told me to give it to you..."
Mr Hoof unfolded the paper and scanned the message, then scanned it again, slowly reading it out. "You stink of eggs. Typical." He screwed it up and threw it into the bin beside him. "Go back to class."
Fluttershy exited the head's office in silence, and was about to walk away, when she turned around and said through the open door, "Aren't you going to... get Rainbow back?"
"No," he said, "she doesn't do her work anyway."
"What about Miss Ponyfeather?"
"She'll just have to deal with it."
Fluttershy entered the classroom. "Hi..."
"Well?" Miss Ponyfeather asked. "Is Rainbow coming back?"
"She said she was, but you know her..."
Miss Ponyfeather took a sip of her coffee once again, hoping for it to stir her anger, but strangely enough it didn't. Which made her mad. She tried to keep it in, because she really, really wanted to be angry about something else, but she couldn't find a way to do it. So she knelt down, raised a forehoof in the air, the coffee falling out of her hoof and spilling onto the floor.
"STUPID COFFEE!"
Author's Note
Thought I'd write a bit of comedy for a change. Sorry if it doesn't live up to your expectations.
