Nightfall, dinner time for Chaotic Note. Today was just like most other days for Chaotic. He'd get out of bed, have breakfast, write, have lunch, write, have dinner and a shower, then write for another hour before going to sleep. He was used to this routine, and enjoyed it, even though many of his so-called 'friends' persisted that he go outside. He only ever went outside if he needed to go shopping, visit relatives, be on location to write a story, or to go to a meeting that was necessary for him to be at. He didn't mind the outdoors, but he prefered to stay inside and write his heart out.
Tonight's dinner was very simplistic. Some bread and cheese. It wasn't Chaotic's favourite, and it wasn't something he particularly liked, but given that he was running low on food, it was the only thing that he could prepare.
Chaotic gulped down small portions of his meal every seven seconds, reflecting on the writing he had done that day. His stories were great, but there was always room for improvement. It was good that Chaotic had the best memory out of everyone in Trottingham.
Although writing stories was exhausting, Chaotic made sure he never fell asleep outside of schedule, no matter how tired he got.
As he ate, he caught a faint scent coming off of his body. Coffee. He had once again stayed up for the whole day surviving on nothing but the black drink. He knew that he needed to get rid of that stench. He was supposed to meet up with his editor at the library the next day, and surely she would not appreciate the smell.
After finishing his meal he quickly washed up, then trotted to the bathroom. It was here where he his shower stood, an enclosed, modern looking one, that was a lot bigger than most showers in Trottingham. Chaotic got himself this particular shower about four stories into his writing career because he had realised that the shower was the one place where new ideas came from. The feeling of water pelting his coat was soothing to his mind and soul, plus it was in the shower where he had the most amount of privacy, where he discussed his ideas openly... to himself.
So there he was, in the shower, already talking to himself even before he had turned the taps on.
"Hmmm... I wonder what I'm going to write next..." he inquired, as he stepped into the shower.
Chaotic rotated both taps with ease, and multiple streams of warm water flowed onto his mane. He quickly turned around, and exposed his back to the shower's harmless watery attacks. At this he began talking again...
“I should probably write a ballad for Princess Twilight. It would be nice. She’s relatively new, and I’m kinda surprised she hasn’t received any praise at all since her ascension.” He applied shampoo to his mane and started scrubbing. “I mean, Princess Celestia and Luna have songs and tales sung about their achievements. Even Cadence has one, yet nobody has the audacity or charity to make time to write poems about her.”
"That’s because she isn’t making the top news right now, and she probably never will."
Chaotic at once stopped scrubbing at the entrance of the new voice. He whirled around, closing his thighs. “W- what?! Who goes there?”
"You really don't know who I am? I've been here all this time!"
Chaotic tried to discriminate the invisible being from his bathroom with his horn’s sensor, but he couldn’t find any traces of magic at all for some reason. This was very puzzling. He took a long shower brush from the racks and swung it around, trying for his best intimidating face as he stood up. “Show yourself! I’m not afraid to use this!”
"Please, put that down before you hurt yourself."
“I will not be toyed with! Show yourself, ya creep!”
"Is that how you treat the person who is giving you a lovely shower?"
“...huh?” Chaotic looked above at his showerhead.
"Yes, up here. I am your showerhead, lord of all things watery and clean in your bathroom, how are you doing?"
Chaotic opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it once more.
"What? Cat got your tongue?"
"Uuuuuuhhh-"
"Hurry and speak your mind! I don’t have all day, and you’re going to raise your water bill. Of course, I don’t mind if you want to spend more money on me. You always do every single day."
Chaotic shook his head and cleaned his ears. There’s no way that a showerhead could be talking to him! It couldn’t be! Maybe it was time to get out and give the bed some love. Certainly he must be delusional due to a lack of sleep...
After quickly scrubbing the rest of his body, he looked back up at the showerhead, hoping that it wouldn’t say anything else.
It didn’t. Chaotic released a deep breath of relief.
"Are you done yet?"
Chaotic groaned loudly.
"Hey, no need to be so rowdy. I’m just a showerhead."
“...you…” Chaotic started to ask.
"Hmm? What about me?"
“How… I don’t even… who are you?”
"I already told you. I’m your showerhead, the one that has been listening to your blabber for months on end, the one that actually gives a damn to listen to all of your story ideas, and the one that gets rid of your dank coffee smell."
“O- oh. Um… thanks.”
"You’re absolutely welcome!"
The showerhead seemed pleased with itself. Chaotic didn’t know how to react. This was unheard of in the history of Equestria, that he was sure of. Not even in magic were there talking inanimate objects. There were enchantments that could bring an object to life, but they didn't allow them to talk. They were used mostly on things like brooms to help around the household. It was a common trend among mages back in the day to have a couple of enchanted brooms, mops, and buckets of water to help clean their houses.
Chaotic did not remember enchanting anything, his showerhead of all things! He knew that he would not do such a thing, even if he was under the effects of his coffee!
Chaotic decided to clear his mind of questions about the showerhead, and talk to it, perhaps he would feel a little better. "So, what were you saying about my story ideas?"
"I previously said that stories or ballads involving Princess Cadence would not be of interest to most ponies."
"What do you suggest?"
"Do you know that fellow Discord?"
"Oh yes, that- whatever he is, what about him?"
"I feel that Discord deserves another story revolving around him. You've already written two stories about him, and a third wouldn't hurt you."
"Ok, a story about Discord. What should happen in it?"
"Hold up, I'm thinking..."
Chaotic waited for a response from the showerhead for a while. While he waited, he resumed his normal wash, but was more concious of where he stood in the shower, for he didn't know for sure if the showerhead could see him as well. Soon enough the showerhead spoke it's mind.
"What if the story was about you and Discord, forced to form a friendship because of Princess Celestia, since her two attempts to freeze Discord into stone only had short successes? She chose you because Discord loves reading, and with you around, he can read to his heart's content. Who knows, you might close the story with you and Discord beginning to write another story!"
Chaotic Note pondered this idea. It was perfect. It was the idea that he had been searching for. He turned off the taps almost immediately and began imagining the story, every part of it, from the beginning to the end.
"Is that good enough?"
"It's the best! I wouldn't have been able to think that up on my own... thank you."
"My pleasure, Chaotic. Now get some sleep, you're going to need it."
Chaotic obeyed the showerhead, quickly drying himself with a towel that was scrunched up on the other side of the bathroom, then trotting out of the bathroom, a big smile on his face as his mind exploded with visuals.
The showerhead laughed when Chaotic was out of audible range, and Discord materialised in the centre of the shower. It turned out that Discord was pretending to be the showerhead all along!
It was good for him to be mischievous every so often, though now was the time to reflect on how well his tricks had been that day, so he turned the shower taps on and spun on his right foot, soaking every part of his unnatural body with water.
Hahaha, oh that writer... he was so gullible... but Discord was grateful for that one personality trait of Chaotic's, for soon, he would be the star in another one of Chaotic's stories. One that would top every other story that Chaotic would ever write. One that Discord could read forever and ever, as a reminder of how good of a trickster he was.
Discord laughed again, before disappearing into the air. He decided that he would leave the taps on... one small trick before he was officially done for the day.
END
