The Russian President vs. Molestia

by Vaughn

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Random, Romance
Length: 1198

Celestia's MPD kicks in the day the president of Russia visits equestria for a week.

A week prior to today, Celestia and Luna received a letter from the Russian President Marr Sickle saying that he'd be visiting them for a week. Unfortunately, the day he came, Celestia woke up as no other than… Molestia.

Teen for…Well…Molestia.
Cover art not mine, nor the president. It's really hard to get a male alicorn Soviet president picture. Who would have though?
Russian is a play on Russian. Any better ideas put in comments.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-08-13 20:20:01 UTC

Chapter One: Welcome Comitee

One Week Ago

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     "Sister! We received a message from Russia!" Luna shouted while trotting to her sister's room, the letter in her telekinetic grasp. It was roughly 11:00 p.m. Equestrian time. A groggy Celestia opened her bedroom door, eye sleep in the corners of her eyes, her mane covering the left half of her face.

      "Russia? Who would send us a letter from Russia?" She said, ready to fall asleep where she stood, leaning ever so slightly to the left.

      An energetic Luna responded, "President Marr Sickle of course! He's visiting in a week!" She was now sipping an energy drink that she teleported from her room. During her excitement at receiving the letter, she had forgotten to grab her drink.

     "Oh, so your coltfriend is coming. Is that it?" Celestia asked, wanting to just go back to sleep. Luna choked on her drink and started blushing profoundly.

     "W-what? He-he's not m-my coltfriend! B-but I am a-anxious to see him again." She stuttered, regaining her posture as just as fast as she had faltered. She then trotted off to her room to sleep, just so she could see Marr again. Celestia rolled her eyes as her sister ran off. Yeah. Sure he isn't. she then closed her door and locked it, flopped down on her bed, and went to sleep, but not before sending a message to both Twilight and Cadence to come in a week. As soon as she sent them off, she thought about seeing Marr again.

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Present Day

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     Princess Celestia woke up feeling happier than usual, and had a craving for a banana. She yawned and got out of bed, also deciding to dye her entire mane pink and putting in pink contacts for the occasion. In fact, she also grabbed the bunch of bananas from her fruit bowl perched at the entrance of her room.

     On her way to the kitchen, she spotted Luna in sparkly, light blue socks, walking less appropriately than was custom for royals. Celestia began licking her lips. Ooh! Luna looks so sexy in those socks... she though, which she quickly corrected herself for thinking such things about her sister of all ponies. She then caught up with her sister. "Hey Luna, I forgot to mention that Cadence and Twilight are coming to meet Marr as well." Luna's eyes turned to pinpricks at hearing this. "Don't worry. I asked them not to mess with your 'love problem'. So you'll be okay." She was then shoved away by her sister, who looked like she was blushing all over her head. She then trotted into the dining hall.

     Celestia rolled her eyes as she walked into the dining hall to be greeted by the only pony in the whole world larger than her. Standing at an imposing eight hooves tall was Marr Sickle, the president of Russia. "Celestia! Old comrade, how are you today?" He said with a thick Russian accent. Mmm... she thought. A lot stronger and handsome than I remembered him.

     "Good to see you too Marr. I'm fine. You?" She started to lick her lips again.

     "Yes, I'm good. And it was quite a pleasure meeting your niece and your former student." He then leaned in closer. "I hope you don't mind, but I find Luna is more attractive than usual. The socks are a nice touch." Without warning, Celestia licked the side of his head, causing him to pull back almost instantaneously. "D-did you just lick me?" He said, rubbing the moist spot on his head.

     "Sorry." She replied. "I was licking my lips and I got a little close."

     Marr eyed her suspiciously as they walked into the dining room. He was careful to sit across from her, next to Luna. Luna was excited to have him sit next to her to say the least. He was less skeptical as the meal progressed, judging by the way she was acting. Although, when Luna acts this way, it's a lot cuter. he mentally admitted.

     As soon as the meal was over, the four mares began asking him about Prussia. Soon enough he got his turn to talk. "So comrades. What is on our agenda for today? Is case you didn't know, I'll be staying for a week so it's best we have some fun along the way." All the mares' jaws dropped.

     "F-for a week?" Luna stuttered, a grin on her face. "Yes!"

     "Yes comrade. A week. It's about time my son learned how to rule." Luna looked devastated to the amusement of the three other mares.  "What is wrong my dear?" Marr asked Luna.

     "You're married?" She asked.

     "No, I am not Luna. My son was merely adopted. Why do you ask?" He inquired, tilting his head inquisitively.

     "N-no reason, Marr. Eh he-heh." She sheepishly looked away. Marr studied her face for a few more seconds."Now what shall we eat first?" He asked. Luna breathed a sigh if relief.

     Celestia thought to herself, Your flank sounds really appetizing, Marr-ie!

     "Well, I need to catch up on some sleep. The time difference between here and the Crystal Empire." Cadence said. With that, she teleported away.

     "I have some reading to catch up on." Twilight said.

     "I understand completely Twilight." Marr responded, nodding to Twilight who gave a wave as she teleported away to the castle's library.

     "Well my comrades, it's just us two." Marr said, a friendly smile on her face.

     "Luna actually has to take care of some things." Celestia said, a small smile creeping up on her face as she saw Luna give a confused and angry look towards her sister.

     "But Tia! Usually-" Luna began to protest.

     "No buts! Just go!" Celestia hissed, flames in her eyes that would kill a lesser pony. Lucky Marr, he was too busy staring at the interesting Windows.

"Nice windows you have." He said, his words falling on deaf ears.

      "Fine." Murmured Luna as she teleported away to who knows where.

       "Now it's just you and me, sexy." Celestia said, eyeing up the Prussian President, who looked at her in shock.

      "I beg your pardon Celestia? What is it that you called me?" He said, a look of confusion on his face. Celestia began growing a maniacal smile on her face as she advanced on Marr, forcing him back step by step until he was at the doors that lead into the maze of hallways that was the castle of Canterlot. "What are you doing? You aren't like yourself comrade. Please, tell me what it is that is ailing you so that I may help!"

      "Nothing ails me, but I do need your help...in bed." She purred. Marr, who as scared out of his wits, opened the door and bolted to Luna's room hoping to find her there as he was being chased by Celestia. "Get back here, sexy!" She shouted, chasing him while gaining ground ever so slowly.Note to self, Marr thought. If I ever come back, I will need to stick with Luna whenever possible.