You know where I was when we woke up this time?

I was on somepony’s back.

Shieldheart’s to be precise.

I flailed for a second before falling off and earning a slightly amused glance from Rainbow Dash.

“Oh good! You’re awake!” said Twilight happily, turning to face me. She looked over at Pinkie Pie and gestured for her to say something. “Go on, Pinkie. You know what you wanted to say.”

“Sorry for being a nosy nose and listening in on your super-duper secret conversation with Shieldy, Karen,” Pinkie said quickly, bouncing up and down as she did. “If I could go back in time, I would definitely not do it again!”

I don’t even know if that meant what she thought it meant.

“Where are we anyway?” I asked, standing back up again beside Shieldy. I like calling him Shiledy be quiet.

“We’re on the way to the train station,” Luna explained. “Pinkie Pie had another pinkie sense of a monster attack back in Ponyville, so we’re on our way back there now.”

“Cadence would’ve come to see us off but I think she was too scared of what you’d be like when you woke up,” Twilight added. “I think my brother needs to talk to her about the way she uses her magic sometimes.”

“If it makes any difference, I did tell her to keep her big nose out of other ponies’ business,” said Shieldy. He frowned as he thought of something. “Although her husband did threaten to officially demote me and then unofficially break my nose if I said something so rude to his wife again.”

“Aw, you did that for little old me? I’m just meeting the sweetest little ponies today!” I said.

Not real me, other me.

“YOU AGAIN!!” I screamed, swinging my spear around to hit her over the head with.

She stepped to one side and knocked the overhead swipe out of the way with her sword. “Nice seeing you too,” she said dully. “Actually wait. No it isn’t. I killed you earlier, didn’t I?” She turned to Twilight as I spun around to swing the spear at her again. “Yeah, I wanted to ask you something. How do I get to Ponyville besides using the train?”

She blocked my second swipe and flicked her sword up to knock my spear out of my hands. I’m actually surprised that she did that, considering that thing was super hard to control properly. As I watched it spin through the air, she stood with her hands behind her back innocently.

“Um… should I be helping you?” Twilight asked back, glancing between me and other me. “I mean, you did just kill Karen and start a whole thing that made her faint lots of times.”

“Yeah yeah yeah whatever how do I get to Ponyville besides the train, princess?” other me replied bluntly. “You are a princess and I used that term correctly, right?”

“I say you walk back!” Rainbow yelled at her.

“I concur,” Luna added harshly.

“Me three,” Applejack put in crossly. “You did betray yourself after that happy little thing you had going.”

“Wow, do one little thing wrong and everyone hates you for it,” said Nerak sadly. “I was just doing as I was told anyway.”

“Who would be telling you what to do you appeared like two minutes ago!” I yelled at her, seeing Shieldy bring my spear back over with his magic.

“You know you’ve got a voice in your head? I’ve got one too.”

I heard most of the others gasp as I stared in disbelief.

“Do I have to fight my evil clone too?” asked Voice.

“No one asked for your input, stupid head-voice,” I replied angrily. I took my spear back from Shieldy and brought it back behind me to stab at other me. “Now shut up and let me stab you back, bitch!”

She leapt to one side before grabbing my spear with both hands and slamming the end down onto her knee, snapping the pointy bit off. “Wow, rude,” she said, flicking the blade over in her hand. She looked back at Twilight and frowned. “So I take it the only way to get back to Ponyville is by train?”

“Which we’re going to be late for,” Twilight replied, glancing at a nearby clock tower. “Come on, everyone!”

She led the way to the train station at a gallop. The others gave Nerak a disappointed glance before hurrying after Twilight. Shieldy turned back to face me when he realised I wasn’t moving from the spot I was glaring at other me in.

“I’ll race you there,” she whispered with a dark smile before she gave me back the end of my spear.

She then spun on her heel and charged towards a convenient stack of crates beside a nearby building. She vaulted onto the first, leapt up onto the next and then, to top it all off, somersaulted onto the building’s roof. I just stared after her with a confused look on my face.

“Come on, Karen,” said Shieldy, trotting back over to me. “She’ll probably fall off and break her legs anyway.”

“I hope she does,” I muttered before following him to the train station.

It took a few minutes for us to get there, and when we did get there, Rainbow Dash looked very unhappy to see us at last.

“You sure like taking your time!” she yelled crossly. “Twilight had to go ask the train driver to hold up a minute! Why did you take so long?!”

“Look, I’m in a weird and wonderful state of mind right now, Dash,” I replied. “Besides, other me just said she’d race me and I was feeling too pressured to go fast.”

And suddenly, out of nowhere, a random Nerak appears!

“Aw, you beat me anyway!” she said after standing up straight from the somersault landing. “Now you’re just making you look bad!”

“F$*& you, other me,” I spat, lashing out at her with one hand. She caught it and twisted it around, making me flip over and land on my back. “Seriously, f!?£ you.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted Shieldy doing something. Upon closer inspection, I saw him spinning around to buck Nerak’s back. She didn’t see that coming and it sent her flying over me.

“Nice job, Shieldhead!” Rainbow exclaimed happily. “Show her who’s boss!”

Other me stood up again slowly and frowned at him. “Aw, you’d do that to me?” she asked, putting on a mock expression of sadness. “You know this means I have to kill you now, right?”

“You can try it,” he snarled, stepping in front of me protectively.

“Yeah, later!” Rainbow yelled, pulling me backwards onto the train. “But first, get on the stupid train before they do leave us here!”

“Probably a good idea, actually,” said Nerak, swinging her sword around to hold over shoulder. “I don’t really wanna get stuck here with nothing to do. I get bored easy.”

Shieldheart growled and backed onto the train quickly, glaring at other me the whole time. Other me giggled and blew a kiss at him, then followed us onto the train, much to the disapproval of Rainbow, Shieldy and myself. Of course, the train started moving, so there was no escape now.

I hate her so much there should be a whole new level of hate for the hate I am hating her with.

“What is happenin’ here?” asked Applejack from behind me as I backed into the carriage. I had to keep watching other me so she didn’t kill me again. “Why is she on the train? Did ah miss somethin’?”

“Oh, I’ve got a brilliant idea,” said other me happily, pushing past me to lean down to Applejack’s face. “Say ‘howdy-do, partner’. Please. This is just a thing I wanna hear from a real cowgirl.”

“As much as I don’t like you, second Karen, I like you,” said Pinkie Pie with a tiny smile. “You’re fun. You must be great at parties.” She blinked as an idea came to her. “Ooh! I know what we could do next!”

“Pinkie Pie, this is serious!” Luna hissed, glaring at Nerak harshly. “We don’t know if she’s going to double-cross us again! She’s an evil twin!”

“Speaking of,” said Nerak, turning back to face Shieldy. “I was gonna kill you, wasn’t I?”

She swung her sword off of her shoulder and took up an aggressive stance. Shieldheart snarled and did the same, just without a sword. I saw the others gasp at what was going to happen while I just stood in between them and looked stupid.

“Mind moving for a sec, sweetie?” asked other me sweetly, looking past me at Shieldheart. “We’re kinda gonna start fighting now.”

“I got a better idea!” I yelled, spinning around to face Nerak. I spun my stick around deftly and pointed it at her. “We all fight you!”

“Aw, come on, there’s like ten of you guys!” Nerak replied disappointedly, letting her sword flop back to the ground.

“Then that’s ten of us to beat your sorry flank with!” Rainbow yelled. Great math, Dash.

“Suit yourselves,” Nerak replied quietly before swinging her sword up at me so fast I actually felt it scratch my nose as I jumped backwards.

She didn’t even hesitate before using the upward swing’s momentum to swing the sword over her head and down at Applejack on her opposite side. A magical red shield went up ahead of the sword, blocking the attack. The shield pushed up against the sword, sending Nerak tumbling over backwards. She rolled back up to her feet and smirked.

“This is fun!” she exclaimed, bouncing on her feet as we approached her. “I wasn’t expecting it to be so evenly matched! Good job, you guys!”

“Good job on being nice, other Karen!” Pinkie replied happily. I glared at her. “W-well… I mean, being nice only some of the time. Not all the time. You’re a meanie most of the time.”

“Are we still fighting?” Nerak asked, dropping her sword a little. “Because if we’re fighting I think we should do it quick so I can make a daring escape and come back to fight you again later.”

“I’ve got a better idea!” Rainbow yelled, darting forwards. “Stand still and let us kick your stupid flank!”

Nerak moved faster than Dash did; she spun around and raised her leg high to deliver a strong kick to Rainbow’s face. Rainbow flew across the carriage and crashed into a wall. Nerak frowned mockingly and looked over her shoulder.

“Do you really think it looks stupid?” she asked, examining her ‘flank’ in more detail. “Is it too big? Not big enough? What’s stupid about it?”

I spotted Fluttershy hurry over to Rainbow Dash to check on her, but I focused on other me. I saw Applejack and Luna take up a spot beside me and Shieldheart’s horn light up. Other me didn’t seem to really care, instead looking at her reflection in the window behind her.

“Alright, guys,” I whispered, swinging my stick around to point at Nerak. “Pinkie Pie is on distractionating and Shieldy’s on shields while the rest of us work at getting her put down.”

“Sounds like a plan to me,” Applejack replied quietly, pulling her hat down on her head.

Other me turned her head back to us quickly. “Hey,” she said, glaring at me. “Stop whispering. How am I supposed to know what you’re planning if you whisper? Honestly, you’re so rude.”

“Go!” I yelled, leaping at her with my stick behind my head.

“Look! A cloud that looks like a sheep!” Pinkie yelled, pointing at the window behind Nerak.

Great distraction, Pinkie.

No, I mean it. That actually worked somehow.

Other me spun around to look out the window and I smacked my stick over the top of her turned head. She recovered quickly though, moving with the blow and spinning around to slash her sword at me. A shield went up before the sword could hit me, making a strong clanging sound. She jumped backwards to avoid Luna’s spear thrust and snarled at us.

“Why would you betray me like that, pink pony?” she asked disappointedly, like she’d just been denied a real treat. “That cloud looked like a butterfly, not a sheep!”

“It does?” Pinkie asked incredulously. She shot over to the window to see if Nerak was right.

Nerak smirked and swung her sword at Pinkie like the treacherous bitch she was. I saw a shield go up, but not fast enough to block the attack. Luckily, Pinkie Pie is unpredictable, and she ducked under the attack so fast it was like I blinked. The top of her hair was sliced of though, so that was a bit unlucky.

It did look kinda funny though, so that was good.

“You lied to me!” Pinkie yelled, pointing at Nerak accusingly. “It actually looked like a dragon playing hopscotch!”

“Not falling for that again…” Nerak muttered, spinning her sword around and thrusting it out at me.

I jumped to one side just in time to dodge it, but she repeated what she had done earlier; she swung the flat side out at me. Like earlier, a shield went up, but other me must’ve known that was going to happen because she spun and hit me from other side instead. I was slammed against the shield as Nerak jumped backwards, sniggering evilly.

“Thanks, second Karen!” Applejack yelled as she bucked out hard at Nerak from where she landed.

The kick actually connected, surprisingly, and Nerak was sent flying across the carriage. Right at me, to be precise. I saw my opportunity and took it; I brought my stick back over my head and slammed it down at her, knocking her flat onto her stomach.

“Yeah! Go us!” I cheered. I pointed my stick down at other me and put on a victorious scowl. “Now surrender, other me, or face some consequences that I may or may not be willing to dish out!”

“Why would ya not be willin’ to dish ‘em out?” Applejack asked, looking up at me.

“She’s an actual person and I don’t think I’d wanna kill a person,” I replied. I growled at Nerak as she rolled onto her back. “But there’s still a possibility! So what’s it going to be, other me?”

“Well firstly, I think I’m alright, thanks,” Nerak replied, smiling up at me. “And secondly…” She grabbed my legs and pulled them towards her quickly, causing me to fall backwards and onto my back. “Don’t leave yourself open to that kind of thing!”

She rolled backwards and up to her feet, standing over me. Before I could try the same thing she’d just done, she back-flipped over a spear swipe from Luna before sprinting to the other end of the carriage. She stood there for a second as I got back to my feet. When I was stood up again, she smiled and waved at me.

“I’ll be going now!” she said happily. “Good luck killing stuff! I’ll see you again when you’re at the end of your quest! That’s how this works, right?”

“Coward!” Luna yelled, swinging her spear around behind her. “Face us now and we will finish this!”

“Yeah! I still need to kick your head for kicking me in the head!” Rainbow added, jumping up. I could see a nasty bruise over one of her eyes where Nerak had kicked her.

“I would, but I think I’m supposed to be the final boss or something.” She opened the door out of the train and looked out. “Hmm… I probably wouldn’t survive if I jumped out at this speed, would I?”

“Then do it, stupid!” I yelled. I would’ve been more creative with my insult but I wasn’t really thinking right. “Save us the trouble of doing it later!”

“Nah, I think I’ll pass,” she replied blankly. She shut the door and leant against it. “Well… this is awkward, isn’t it?”

“You’re a big, dumb loser that no one likes!” I yelled, pointing at her.

“I thought I was the one who killed Ornstein. How could I be a loser?”

“Shut up no one likes you anyway!”

She chuckled and crossed her arms. “I can tell we’re going to be mature about this,” she said sarcastically. “Alright, how about this? I’ll just sit over at this end of the carriage and you can have that end. I won’t do anything as long as you don’t, and when we get to Ponyville, you give me a minute’s head-start to make a hasty getaway. Sound like a plan?”

“I don’t trust her,” Rainbow hissed, glaring at other me. “She’s gonna do something and I don’t like it.”

“Ooh! We make her pinkie promise not to do anything!” Pinkie suggested.

“What’s a pinkie promise?” asked other me. “Is that some kind of unbreakable vow or something?”

“Hold on.” Pinkie casually trotted over to other me and leant up to her ear to whisper. Other me listened and nodded when Pinkie was finished explaining. “Clear enough?”

“What happens if you break a pinkie promise?” Nerak asked. Pinkie leaned up to whisper again, and when she did, other me shuddered. “Okay, that’s definitely an unbreakable vow for anyone who doesn’t want to live their life in fear.”

“I don’t get it,” I said blankly.

“I’ll tell you about it some time!” Pinkie replied happily. She turned to look up at Nerak and scowled. “So do we have a pinkie promise?”

“I’m not going to do anything on this train trip unless someone does something to me,” Nerak stated. She started doing the actions of a pinkie promise. “Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.”

Wow, Pinkie explained that really fast.

“Okay! Hope you enjoy your trip to Ponyville, second Karen!” Pinkie said happily, trotting back over to the rest of us like she hadn’t just been chatting to the one I’m going to call my arch-nemesis.

“Well that was… strange,” said Luna, glancing at other me while she sat down. “I think I’ll need a bit more of an explanation of a pinkie promise at some point too. I didn’t expect it to be so… simple.”

Neither did I, but that’s Pinkie Pie for you.

“Well that turned out to be anticlimactic, didn’t it?” said Shieldheart, frowning disappointedly. “I was actually expecting a lot more than just that.”

“We can change that pinkie promise if you want!” Nerak called over. “Is that a thing you can do? Changing pinkie promises, I mean.”

“Once it’s promised, it can’t be un-promised!” Pinkie replied.

“I’m not exactly saying we should do that it all again,” Shieldy said quietly, sitting down on a nearby chair. “I’m just saying I didn’t expect it to be over so quickly.”

“I say we betray her when we get into Ponyville,” I whispered.

“I agree,” Rainbow added. “Let’s give her a taste of her own medicine.”

“Or we could… just give her a minute’s head-start like she asked,” said Fluttershy. “If she’s supposed to be evil, we shouldn’t sink to her level, after all.”

“As much as ah’d like to give other Karen a piece of my mind, ah agree with Fluttershy,” Applejack agreed. “We’d be no better than her if we betrayed her like she betrayed you, Karen.”

“Fine we won’t be stupid and betray her then,” I said crossly, dropping down into a seat across from Shieldheart. “It’s not like she deserves it or anything…” I looked out the window. “When are we back in Ponyville anyway?”

“If we get there as fast as we got to the Crystal Empire, another hour or so,” Luna answered. “I hope you’ll be able to… cope with yourself until we get there, Karen.”

“I better hope so, for my sake…” I muttered angrily, glaring at other me from the corner of my eye.

“Did you mean other you or actual you there?” asked Pinkie. “Because you could mean two things when you said that.”

“I thought she meant herself,” Rainbow said blankly.

“There are two different things that that could mean too!” Pinkie yelled. “This is just so confusing!”

“I better stop or I’m gonna confuse myself,” I said. “Uh… real myself. Not other myself.”

“Ooh, too confusing for me!” Pinkie exclaimed, dropping onto the floor and putting her hooves over her head.

“You said it, Pinkie Pie,” Applejack added. “The sooner we get rid of other Karen, the better.”

“Hey, I’m not that bad!” yelled other me from the opposite end of the carriage.

“Yes, you are…” I said under my breath.

“At least she’s got a good sense of humour,” said Voice. “That’s gotta count for something, right?”

“Nope,” I replied, turning to look out the window again. “She’s one hundred and twelve percent evil.”

“Why a hundred and twelve?” asked Luna, tilting her head in confusion.

“I just felt like being weird let’s be quiet now,” I said, leaning back in the seat and looking up at the ceiling. “I’m gonna just… stop existing until we get there.” I remembered the stick I had in my hands. “Actually, gonna work on this thing. Make it a thing that kills things again. Where’s the stabby thing off it?”

“Here,” said Sheildy, levitating it off the floor where it had dropped. “Need any help with it?”

“I can turn it into a stabby thing again on my own,” I said quickly, snatching the spear tip out of his magical grip. “I just need… something to stick it together with.”

“What about the dress you stole from Twilight and turned into a sword holder?” Rainbow suggested.

“I forgot that even existed,” I said blankly, taking the makeshift sword harness off. “Good job on remembering the obvious stuff that shouldn’t really be missed, Rainbow Dash.”

“Was that sarcasm?” Rainbow asked. “Because it didn’t sound like sarcasm but I have a feeling that it should be sarcasm.”

“I think it was supposed to be but it wasn’t.”

The next half hour or so was spent with me in silence and just working out how to keep the spear tip reattached to the spear that actually turned out to be kind of productive in the end, and the following twenty minutes were spent by me and Rainbow Dash passing hushed insults to each other about Nerak. We came up with some pretty creative ones too, but I don’t really feel like they should be written down to be known for the rest of ever.

No, the others just said we were criminal masterminds and talked amongst themselves the whole time.

After that was all said and done, we arrived in Ponyville. When the train was stopped completely, Nerak stood up and headed towards the rest of us. I spotted Shieldy’s horn light up and Rainbow Dash snort in anger, but they didn’t do anything. I just tensed up and held my fixed spear tighter.

“Alright then, girls and one guy,” she started, clapping her hands together in front of her, “we’ll leave this here and I’ll be off. Same time tomorrow?” She looked at her watch-less wrist and sighed. “No, I’ve got something else going on actually. I’ll call you and let you know when I’m free. So, about that minute’s head-start.”

“You better go fast,” Rainbow spat, punching her hooves together. “Because if I catch up to you, you’ll wish you could move a lot faster.”

“Oooookay, nice threat there, rainbow pony,” other me replied. “I can see that you picked brawn over brains, but you didn’t quite get the brawn you were going for either.”

She held her hand out to one side and suddenly Pinkie Pie was right beside her to slap it appreciatively. She got a look of shock and disapproval from all of us, which made her smile embarrassedly and hurry back over to our side of the train.

“Traitor,” Rainbow hissed.

“I’ll see you later then!” Nerak said happily, turning and hurrying over to the door at the end of the carriage. “Good luck saving all of Ponyville, everyone!”

And then she was out the door and gone. Rainbow turned and glared at Pinkie Pie when other me was out of sight.

“What’s gotten into you, Pinkie?!” she yelled angrily. “Are you on her team?!”

“I just think she’s silly and good at it!” Pinkie replied sheepishly. “I’m not on her team, I just like her style!”

“Well if you keep it up, you’ll turn into a bad guy and we’ll have to kill you just as everything’s gone back to normal,” I explained. I got a confused and disapproving look from the others. “That’s how this works, you know. I don’t want it to happen but it might.”

“Whatever…” Rainbow muttered, crossing her hooves and scowling out the window. “Have we given her that minute head-start yet? I’m getting bored and the town will need saving soon.”

“Thirty seconds left,” Shieldy put in. I saw his lips moving like he was silently counting down to something.

“I wonder what Twilight’s been doing…” I muttered, looking at the other end of the carriage.

Speak of the devil and all, she walked in through the door.

“Hello everyone,” she said dully. “How’s your trip been? Because mine was… not so pleasant…”

“We had to fight evil Karen and then let her get away with it,” Rainbow explained crossly. “I don’t like her. I think we should’ve just thrown her off the train.”

“She would’ve killed us all if we tried,” I answered glumly. “Probably even Luna who’s a dragonborn.”

“I still don’t fully understand what that means…” Luna muttered.

“Okay, her minute’s up,” said Shieldy. “Let’s either go after her or get ready for that monster that’s going to attack. I vote we get ready for the monster attack.”

“Agreed,” said Twilight, Applejack, Pinkie and Luna at the same time.

“Well, that already wins the vote, so let’s go!” I exclaimed, heading over to the door of the carriage.

I heard the others follow and we all headed outside. When we got outside, I couldn’t see any panic or chaos happening so that must mean the monster hadn’t got here yet. What I did see was a few floating thingies on top of a few buildings. Even at this distance, I could see what they were, and already I was dreading the incoming battle.

“We might have a problem,” I said anxiously.

“What is it, Karen?” asked Twilight. “Is it those floating things on the rooftops?”

“That too, but we have a slightly bigger problem too.”

“Then please, give us the details and we can see if we can prevent it!” Luna said, turning to face me.

“Houses may get destroyed if we don’t keep the Ender Dragon away from them. That could be a problem.”

Yes, you read right.

Ender Dragon.

The boss you can’t kill unless you were in creative or had a group of like fifty other people helping you.

Wasn’t this going to be fun?

Author's Note

Because of PiMan's very wise words, this is now tagged romance.
I don't care, he seems smart and probably knows more about literally anything than I do ~~so that's not really saying much because I know nothing about anything at all anyway~~.