When we got up to the castle, we found Celestia in that giant room where she usually awaited letters of friendship in.

“Hello, my little ponies!” she greeted us as we approached. I snorted at the use of that phrase, which earned a funny look from her. “Did I say something funny?”

“Oh no, it’s just…” I went quiet and smirked. “Nothing, never mind.”

“Indeed…” she replied with a criticising look. She quickly smiled again. “I’m sorry, we haven’t been introduced! You are…?”

“Karen,” I replied, holding my hand out to her.

She shook it lightly and nodded in greeting. “It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Karen,” she said happily. She regarded what I was wearing for a moment. “Are you wearing my nephews –?”

“YepshutupIneededthemtosaveEquestria,” I said quickly, waving my hands at her to get her to stop. “Can we focus on the reason why we’re here please?”

“Oh, that’s right!” Twilight put in quickly. I turned to face her. “We came all the way up here to talk to Celestia abooooout…” She was quiet as she thought for a moment. “Well, I think I just said to let her know you were here and that you could help.”

“Really?” I asked stupidly. “We came all the way up here just for that?”

“I think that was what I said anyway,” Twilight replied.

“So I died three times and went crazy just to tell Celestia that I’m here?”

“Um… it sounds bad when you put it that way, but yes.”

“Wait here a moment.” I turned and walked out of the room quickly. When I was out, I did what I wanted.

I screamed.

Very loudly.

For about a minute.

I’m allowed I had died three times just to get here and there was now a voice inside my head.

Anyway, when I had let all that stress out in one ginormous scream, I walked back in like nothing was wrong.

“Are you alright, Karen?” asked Celestia, tilting her head at me. “That sounded… well, it sounded bad.”

“Don’t mind me, just letting it all out,” I said indifferently. “As I’ve just said, I’ve been burned to death, stabbed, frozen and then on top of all that, started hearing voices!” I laughed in a normal and completely non-creepy way. “It’s fine! No need to worry about me!”

“You’re certainly not showing that,” Celestia remarked concernedly, frowning in worry.

“Look look look, what did we come here for?” I quickly asked. I then realised what I’d just said. “Okay, never mind. What ELSE can we do here that isn’t worrying about me slowly losing my mind?”

“You’re just scaring them even more, Karen,” said Voice, finally resurfacing after being quiet for so long. “What’s going to make them worry more? This, or acting normally?”

“Shut up you, you don’t exist,” I said, glaring in the direction I’d heard him.

“Karen, is that voice coming back?” asked Twilight unsurely. “Because I think it’s getting more serious now.”

I went quiet for a minute as I calmed myself down from the manic state of mania that dying to say hi to Celestia had put me in. When I was calm enough, I started taking deep breaths in and out to calm myself even more. When I’d done that, I put on the calmest smile I could muster.

“Okay, ladies and gentleman,” I said calmly. You don’t even know how calm I was. “I’m very sorry for going crazy in front of you all, but I’ve had a lot on my plate today. I’m sure we can all tell stories about it all, but right now, I think I need to just... relax for a little bit.”

“Yes, I think that would be wise,” Celestia said with an agreeing nod. “We haven’t had any reports in from anywhere else about monsters other than the ones you faced today, so I don’t think you’ll need to do anymore monster slaying today.”

“Wait, wouldn’t you be getting the reports too late anyway?” I asked.

“No, we have a very quick messenger system so we can dispatch the guard to cities in danger very quickly.”

“Are you kidding me?!” I slapped myself across the face and went back to being super calm. “Oooooookay, that’s fine. It’s not that we needed one right this minute and a certain princess forgot to mention it. It’s fine!”

“You’re doing it again,” Voice warned.

“Sorry I’ll stop.”

“Is there anything else to discuss?” Celestia asked seriously.

“Honestly, I can’t think of anything at all, because we’ve done all we came up here to do, right Twilight?” I said. Twilight nodded at me. “Great! So now, bye princesses!”

I spun around and just walked away. Before I could get anywhere Shieldheart stepped in front of me and held a hoof up to stop me. “Before you go anywhere, I’ve got some good news,” he stated calmly. He was almost super calm too! “I’ve just been told that the train is back up and running here in Canterlot, so you can take that back home.”

“When did someone tell you that?” I asked.

“There was a guard, you weren’t looking,” Celestia supplied.

“What was his name, Dark Knight?” I joked. They wouldn’t get it, but Voice and I would. I heard Voice chuckle quietly, so it must’ve worked.

“Before you do go, I would like to tell you that I am coming with you,” said Luna.

“Is that really wise in this situation?” asked Celestia.

“Actually yeah,” I replied, spinning back around to face them again. “Not trying to be funny or anything, but I think your sister is the dragonborn. She disintegrated a shout that murdered me just by yelling at it.”

Celestia stared at her sister in awe and Luna tilted her head at me.

“What does it mean to be dragonborn?” Luna asked.

“Basically, you’ve got the blood of a dragon in your veins and you are to save Tamriel from destruction at the hands of angry dragons,” I explained. “Or something. I never beat that game fully so I don’t know.”

“Oh, that’s right!” Twilight piped up happily. “Back at her home, she treats fighting these monsters like they’re just games!”

“Ooooooh, great,” I muttered to myself. “Yeah, Twilight?” She turned to face me again. “You know I said those were just games?” She nodded. “They really were. You didn’t actually fight them in real life. You fought them over a computer or a console or something.”

She stood completely still for a moment before her jaw literally hit the floor. Go cartoon physics!

“So let me get this straight,” Celestia said, rubbing her brow. “Are you telling us that you have never fought one of these monsters before today in real life?”

“That’s what I’m saying,” I replied. “I’ve never even held a real sword before today too. So yeah. You may have made a mistake.”

Twilight remained completely silent. Celestia raised an eyebrow. Luna pretended nothing was wrong. Applejack and Rainbow Dash glanced at each other and frowned. Fluttershy coughed awkwardly.

“Well, this is a predicament,” said Shieldheart.

I turned to glare at him slowly. “Seriously?” I asked. “Of all the things to say, you pick that?”

“You love me really,” he replied with a small smirk.

Okay, I may have had an incredibly tiny crush on him but I just wanted to drop him in front of a horde of stampeding tortoises at that point.

Why tortoises? Because I want to give them the time to move out of the way if they so wish.

I’m not THAT mean.

Most of the time.

Anyway, I turned back to face Celestia with my cheeks gone a little red. “So yeah, this… this was kind of a mistake,” I said, smiling half-heartedly. “I mean, yeah, I beat Miraak and the Eye of Cthulu and… no, wait, that was Applejack. I killed those two, but I’m really not the warrior you wanted me to be.”

“Karen, I am so sorry that I brought you here,” Twilight said quickly, stepping in front of me to give me a better apology. “If it helps, I’ll try taking you home as soon as possible!”

“Oh, I’m not going home,” I replied casually. “Not yet anyway.”

“What?” came the voices of everyone except Shieldheart.

“I would’ve thought you’d jumped at the chance to go home,” said Voice.

“Yeah, me too,” I replied. “But hear me out first, guys.” Boring talking time! Yay! “The way I see it, you could really use the help here. I mean, if you weren’t so frantic about it happening earlier, Twilight, I would’ve said no. But, now that I’m here, it’d be a waste to just take me back home after all the trouble you went through to bring me here.”

“You do realise that you’re only putting yourself in danger by staying here, don’t you?” Celestia asked.

“Oh, I know THAT,” I laughed. “But I can’t die! I just respawn and come back!” I swung my spear around. “Look, I’ll prove it!”

“No, you won’t,” Shieldheart said quickly, levitating my weapon out of my hands. Probably the smarter thing to do, right? “I know you can die and come back, but don’t go hurting yourself like that.”

“Yeah that was a stupid idea I’m not gonna do that again,” I said.

“Good girl.”

“So anyway,” I continued, “I’ll help you out until the plot says that I can go home with Equestria happy and safe. Until that point in time, I’ll be staying here. Not to mention I’m living an average brony’s dream of being in Equestria, so yeah!”

“I see,” Celestia said, nodding slowly. “Well… we can’t thank you enough for what you’re doing, but we’re not sure when you’ll be able to leave if you’ll be staying until Equestria is safe.”

“Oh, don’t worry,” I said, smirking to myself. “I’m sure it’ll be soon now that I’m here.”

“Isn’t that a little pretentious?” she asked. “I mean, you did just say you’ve never held a weapon before today, after all.”

“Oh no, I meant it’ll be soon because that’s what happens in everything; the main protagonist comes along and everything gets solved almost immediately because the plot demands it!”

“That’s still kinda pretentious, thinking you’re the main protagonist,” said Voice.

“Yes, I know,” I replied. “But let’s face it, why would I be the one brought to Equestria if I wasn’t the main protagonist?”

“Fair enough.”

“So what exactly do we do now?” asked Twilight.

“Now we go save Equestria from certain destruction!” I replied happily. I did a little pirouette when I forgot who I was supposed to ask about things to find who I was searching for. Basically I faced Celestia a lot more flamboyantly than I should have. “Where do we go now?”

“Well, I’m not really sure,” she answered, tilting her head in thought. “Since we’ve had no messages come in about monsters in other cities, but we’ve got the guard distributed to most of the cities in Equestria. The only place that doesn’t have a guard is the crystal empire, but that hasn’t been attacked by anything yet.”

“You jinxed it,” I said quietly. “Sooooo... we just go back to Ponyville and wait for something to happen?”

“I think that would be best. I’ll redirect all messages regarding attacking monsters to… where will you be staying?”

“Twilight’s castle I think.”

“That’s not actually my real castle,” Twilight said slowly. “My real one got blown up by a monster so big that it took a guard to climb up it and stab it a certain point to beat it. That one’s just a replacement that somehow appeared when nopony was looking.”

“You’re welcome for that, by the way,” said Shieldheart, raising a hoof.

“First, that sounds awesome and I wish I could do that because it sounded like Shadow of the Colossus and that is an amazing game,” I blurted out almost incomprehensibly. “Second, why are you saying that about a castle appearing, Shieldheart?”

“Oh no, I meant about the monster slaying,” he explained. “I did all that climbing and stabbing.”

“Oh, I thought you looked familiar when I first saw you today!” Twilight happily put in. “Thank you for doing that the other day!”

“And the day after and yesterday and probably tomorrow as well,” he muttered quietly. I don’t think Twilight heard him, which was probably his aim.

I heard him though.

Seriously, it’s like the universe is actually trying to make me fall for him.

Be quiet you would too.

Even if you are a guy and already have a girlfriend.

Okay, probably not that far but you get the idea.

“Alright I heard enough let’s go back to Ponyville and wait for monsters to slay,” I said quickly.

And so Applejack, Fluttershy, Luna, Rainbow Dash, Shieldheart, Twilight and myself all headed back to Ponyville to wait for something to happen.

I won’t bore you with the very boring details about how we walked to the train, got on it, and then the others chatted about things while I awkwardly sat on the other side of the train anti-socially.

Actually, I’ll bore you with the last part.

The train had just left and Fluttershy had just trotted back to her group of friends after asking if I would like to join them. I had said no because, really, what could I add to the conversation except an awkward silence?

I sat back in my chair and looked at the end of my spear that I had stolen from a guard earlier. It sure was pointy. It looked a lot flashier than a normal spear. It had things sticking out of the side for some reason. My god it was so pointy.

“You’re bored, aren’t you?” asked Voice.

“No I’m just admiring the masterful craftsmanship of this spear thing,” I replied, not even sarcastically. “But… you know, I’d like to do something else as well. I wish I still had my 3DS.”

“What’s a 3DS?” asked, who else, Shieldheart as he sat down across from me. “Sorry, do you mind? I thought you could use some company.”

“I’m fine you don’t need to thanks bye,” I said, getting up and walking away very quickly.

Too quickly, actually. He put up a shield spell in front of me and I walked into it.

You’d be surprised how much walking into a magical shield at that speed face first hurts.

“Sit down, Karen,” he said very slowly, like someone telling me off for doing something bad. “Sorry about the shield, but I’m just trying to be nice.”

I sat back down slowly and anxiously, not looking at him once. I heard him snort with amusement at that, but he didn’t say anything about it. I noticed that the others were giving the two of us sideward glances, Rainbow Dash in particular.

“Um… hi,” I said quietly, waving a little. “What did you wanna talk about?”

I was a nervous wreck. Shut up.

“I just thought it would be a good idea to get to know you better,” he replied happily. “What do you like doing in your spare time?”

“Um… just things,” I whimpered, voice unnaturally high-pitched.

No offence to her, but I was worse than Fluttershy in a situation like this.

“I can see I’m making you uncomfortable.” He smirked. “I’m not trying to though. You’re just… a little shy around people that you may be attracted to.”

“Which I am NOT,” I said so quickly it would be a miracle if he didn’t spot the lie.

“Riiiiiiight.”

He spotted it I just know it and that only made me red and that just made the situation worse.

Why is it that I can handle a superhuman that will murder me very painfully with no problems but when there’s a guy that I am attracted to in a very TINY way I fail miserably?

“Let’s try this again,” he said slowly, realising my distress. He held out his hoof at me. “Hello there, ma’am. My name is Shieldheart. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Hi,” I whispered, giving his hoof a tiny and worried shake. “Um… w-we could… do this some other time. You know, if you wanted to.”

“I think if we’re going to be working together, it’s inevitable. So let’s just get it out of the way now, shall we?”

The train was moving pretty fast… Maybe if I jumped out the window I’d just respawn in Canterlot and have to take another train to avoid this!

No, that was just stupid.

I heard Rainbow Dash whisper something to the others and then there was a collective ‘oh’.

Thank you very much, Rainbow Dash. You’re a real star.

That part was sarcasm in case you didn’t notice.

He leant over to me to whisper, “I think we’ve drawn a bit of an audience.”

I glanced at the others out of the corner of my eye and saw that he was right; the others were being weird and staring at the two of us. They seemed to notice me looking their way and all of them turned back to each other quickly.

Well, everyone except Dash.

“We all know you want it to happen!” she yelled, earning a stern glare from Twilight and a solid kick from Applejack.

Yeah that was my breaking point.

“OKAY BYE EVERYONE SEE YOU BACK IN PONYILLE HAVE FUN NOW BYE!” I yelled, standing up to open the window.

I got halfway out of it before I was pulled back in by two ponies and a magical aura.

“Not the action I would’ve taken, but okay,” said Voice. “Honestly, it’s not that bad. You’re just madly in love with him and can’t bring yourself to admit it.”

“Shut up you don’t exist I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I replied.

“That’s going a bit too far, don’t ya think?” asked Applejack, one of the ponies who’d pulled me back in. “Ah get that ya wanna hide your feelings, but that’s no way to go about it.”

“No I don’t be quiet or you’re not best pony anymore,” I said. That was no idle threat too.

“Can we just get to the bottom of all this please?” asked Twilight, the other one who’d pulled me back in.

“Karen, we can all see that you like him!” Luna put in.

“Just tell him how you feel!” Fluttershy added.

My brain was screaming at me to drop a smoke bomb and get the heck out of this situation because, my god, I was so scared I think I nearly passed out.

Sadly, I didn’t have one.

“Just kiss him already!” Rainbow Dash yelled.

“Um,” was all I could think of to say. I said it in a way too high-pitched and quiet voice too, so that was great.

“Here’s the plan,” said Voice. “I’ll distract them, you make a run for the other carriage.”

The door at the end of the train opened up and closed. No one else seemed to notice it, so I helped out.

“Look!” I shouted, pointing at it. “A door that magically opened on its own!”

I didn’t even wait for them to turn before I ran as fast as I could to the opposite end of the carriage. Sadly, the door out was locked.

So I pretty much ran into a door at full speed thinking that it would open when I pushed it.

And I’m pretty sure I blacked out from banging my head against it too hard.

Great job, Karen! You sure showed them how to get away from a situation like that!

-=-=-=-=-

When I woke up, the train had stopped moving. I was also on another seat too. There were two ponies sat opposite; Twilight and Rainbow.

“Hey, Karen,” said Dash, looking angry like a child that’d been told off and didn’t think it was fair. “Twilight said that telling you to just kiss him was not a good thing to do.”

“Now what do you say, Rainbow Dash?” Twilight asked sternly, like the mother of that previously mentioned child.

Rainbow grumbled to herself and rolled her eyes. “I’m sorry for telling you to do something that everyone knew you wanted to do anyway, Karen.” She flapped up quickly. “Okay, can I go now?!”

“Where’d the others go?” I asked. “Did we get there?”

“Thanks Karen see you later!” Rainbow yelled, soaring towards the door of the train.

“That mare sometimes…” Twilight muttered, watching Dash leave. She turned back to me. “Yes, we did get there. Just now actually. The others are outside waiting for you.” She put on a sad look. “Look, I’m sorry to have instigated that, but you nearly jumped out a window! I was worried!”

“Yeeeeeaah I probably shouldn’t have done that,” I replied ashamedly. “Sorry for making you worried.”

“That’s okay! Everypony worries now and again!”

“Yeah but I kind of nearly jumped off a train and died. That’s something you don’t normally worry about.”

“I suppose not… But you don’t have to be sorry about that! Rainbow Dash shouldn’t have said what she did, but she’s just like that sometimes.”

“I hate to intrude on this discussion,” said a pony that looked like the conductor, “but I need to ask you to leave while we get the train ready for another journey.”

“Yeah, sorry,” I said quickly, standing up. “Come on, Twi.”

The two of us left the carriage as I questioned what Twilight had meant when she said we got here ‘just now’ and then we were met by the others. Pinkie Pie and Rarity were there too.

“Hi Karen!” said Pinkie Pie happily. “Nice ta meetcha! I’ve heard so much about you! Did you make a giant eyeball explode?”

“Hi Pinkie Pie,” I said with a tiny wave. She gasped at the idea of me knowing her name without meeting her. “No, I’m not psychic though!”

“Those aren’t the clothes I would’ve picked, dear,” Rarity said, giving my clothes a critical look. She smiled and trotted over to me. “But anyway, it’s very nice to meet you! I’ve been told you helped save Ponyville and Canterlot today! Thank you very much for that!”

“Hi, Karen,” said Shieldheart from behind the rest.

“Oh,” I said quietly. “Hello, Shieldheart.”

“Sorry about earlier,” he said slowly, kicking at a stone on the floor. “I just… wanted to get to know you better. You seem like a nice human but I think I kind of forced it onto you. Sorry.”

Aw, now I was going to feel bad.

“I-it’s okay,” I said, rocking on my heels. “You were just being nice and I was just… um… shy. I think.”

I heard Rarity whisper something to Twilight but I tried to ignore it.

“I think we should start again for the second time,” Shieldheart offered. “Maybe when all of this is over we’ll do that.”

“Okay,” I whispered.

Maybe it’ll be nice!

“So, everyone, should we head back home and meet here tomorrow?” asked Twilight. “It’s getting pretty late and monsters never attack at night for some reason.”

“That’s probably a good idea,” I said. I spun to face Luna. “Luna! Where are you gonna go this evening?”

“She can stay with us up at the castle!” Twilight answered. “I’ve got spare bedrooms like it’s going out of style in there!”

“Well that’s unreasonably convenient,” I said quietly.

“So should we all meet up here tomorrow if we get a message about a monster anywhere else?” asked Twilight.

“I certainly hope you don’t expect me to be able to do anything though,” Rarity said darkly. “I don’t think I’d be able to be that helpful in a situation like that. Do you remember when that giant spider appeared?”

Pinkie leaned up to me ear to whisper at me. “There was an ugly, giant spider that attacked one time! Rarity got insect exterminators into her house and wouldn’t leave for a week!”

“Ooh! I know what you could do!” I yelled excitedly. “How many gems do you have at the carousel boutique?”

“Why, more than I know what to do with most of the time!” Rarity answered. “Why do you ask?”

“I bet you could make some clothes out of them! Not the kind that you wear every day though, more like the type you’d wear for battles and stuff. They’d still be flashy and good to look at though, so don’t worry about that.”

“Why didn’t I think of that?!” Twilight yelled like it was more obvious than anything ever. “Rarity, your collection of gemstones that you haven’t been able to use on account of nopony wanting to buy clothes at this time could become armour for us! It’s the perfect plan! Great thinking, Karen!”

“Actually that wasn’t me. That was Minecraft,” I stated. “I just played Minecraft and remembered the strongest armour in the whole game.”

“Well I suppose it would be better to not let them just sit there…” Rarity reasoned. “I mean, I’m no blacksmith, so it wouldn’t be PROPER armour, but I could still make them so that they’re plated enough to work as such.”

“That’s great!” I cheered. “So can we expect them by tomorrow morning?”

“Of course!” she replied happily, glad to be doing something to help our cause. “I’ll just need your measurements to –“

“Oh I won’t be wearing it,” I interrupted. “I’ll probably just die and lose it so don’t waste it on me.”

“Well that’s no way to think!” Pinkie put in. “You’re not gonna get anywhere if you just think you’re gonna die!”

“No, I’ve already died a few times today,” I explained. “Seriously, I’ve been flattened like a pancake, burned to death, punched into a wall and stabbed to name most of those deaths.”

“How does that even work?” Rarity asked.

“I have no idea.”

“It’s just something that she can do,” Twilight helpfully supplied. “She doesn’t die, she just appears back at the castle. Um, castles.”

“Oh,” said Rarity. “Well, I… I’d still like to make you some clothes, dear! The ones you have look…” She regarded my clothes again and thought about which words to use. “They look like they could use a little something else.”

“They’re actually not mine,” I said. “They’re Blueblood’s.”

“They’re hideous,” Rarity said as soon as Blueblood’s name was spoken.

“Ooh! I’ve got something else to ask!” I spun to Rainbow Dash. “What happened to that dress?”

“We picked it up when you weren’t looking,” Rainbow replied. “It’s in your bag.”

“How come I didn’t notice that?” I asked quietly. I shook my head and reached into my bag of shurikens that unsurprisingly had no shurikens left in it. “Never mind. Hey Rarity!” I pulled the dress out and showed it to her. “Do you think this looks good on me? Or would it look good on me?”

She gave it a scrutinising look and then tilted her head in thought. “Hmm…” She shook her head. “I don’t really think it does. But then again, you are a completely different species, so what do I know about your fashion?”

Well then.

“Is that the dress I made for Twilight’s birthday?”

Oh yeah.

“You didn’t make it good it was a terrible dress and I’ll pay for a better one for her,” I said quickly. “Besides, it was to help me carry a sword to save Equestria with. It wasn’t a big sacrifice anyway.”

“I suppose not…” Rarity reasoned. She shook her head and snapped back into reality. “Yes, I’ll have them done by tomorrow morning at the latest. That’s a promise!”

“Great!” I cheered. “Make them for everyone here and yourself too if you’d like. Oh yeah. Not for Shieldheart either. He’s got his own armour already.”

“Oh thanks,” Shieldheart said sarcastically. “You really do love me, don’t you?”

“Okay we’re done now bye,” I said quickly, grabbing Twilight and dragging her along behind me to ‘her castle’. “See you tomorrow guys! Seven AM sharp! If you’re late I’m setting your house on fire!”

Don’t ask questions I was feeling stupid.

So anyway, when we got to Twilight’s castle (Luna had hurried after us when we’d left her with the others) pretty much nothing else interesting happened.

I mean, I asked Twilight for something to write my adventures in and she provided something, which is what you’re reading right now, and Spike said hi and pretty much didn’t care that I was there.

“Why don’t you care?” I asked. “I’m a whole new species in Equestria for crying out loud.”

“Meh, I’ve seen your kind before in a magic mirror that I go through with Twilight sometimes,” he replied.

Fair enough.

So that’s the end of day one in Equestria!

Hooray for getting it all written down before –

Oh my god it’s nearly four in the morning I should really get some sleep now.

Author's Note

Sorry for taking so long this chapter was annoying to write and I was ~~working on my other story~~ doing other stuff
Also my entire plan for this story was thrown out the window so sorry if it's very inconsistent with itself.
Also also my proofreader quit so sorry for any bad spelling/grammar/plot/etc.