There's a Lesson to be Learned Here
“Hnngghh, I shouldn’t have had that angus burger for lunch.” Bon Bon said, clutching her bottom through her loose fitted jeans. “Bathroom!”
The Angus burger she ate was not like any other Angus burger out there, it was the one of a kind double-extra large Angus Burger from Pony Joe’s brand new restaurant; The Hole in the Wall. Yes the long awaited burger that was actually made from cow meat had Ponyvillians clamoring for more. Especially after the whole high protein insect diet with the fried crickets; chocolate covered ants, or even the furry Choco-chip tarantula cookies. Although the general greasy and unhealthiness of the burger would not agree with someponies and Bon Bon was one of them.
From her attic converted bedroom on the second level of the house, she raced towards the first floor bathroom which is on the other end of the house. She ran so fast that she had lost her footing on the carpet that covered the top of the stairs and Supermared head first off the first step. Bon Bon landed no more than five steps from the bottom and tumbled into a roll only to slam her body into the wall that the stairs winded from. Her body left a large in dent nearly one foot long from the crash but, yet again she still worried more about current necessities above all else.
Bon Bon could feel her stomach churning; it was trying to push its way out. She was getting close to the bathroom, all that she had to do was clear was the living room, and then the hallway. Recovering from the tumble, she stepped down from the last of the remaining steps and was met by the mess she would call the living room; furniture overflowed the area, at least three sofas, ten recliners, and four coffee tables. All set precisely in way that it would impede traffic through the rest of the house. As terrible as it is, this was also a trend that is currently the thing in Ponyville to do. It probably started with some nobles in Canterlot trying to one up each other but, who really questions it.
Bon Bon only knew of one thing to do when met with this obstacle hour after hour. And that was go over it. With her strong hind legs she readied and instantly launched herself clearing several pieces of furniture and landing gracefully upon the top of an easyfoal recliner like a cat, only to do this several more times before she cleared the mess of a living room. After the landing, with her head held high like an elegant ballet dance, she performed a hoof pull pumping her right fore leg several times before her body kicked her back into reality, voicing itself in the form of an even stronger gurgle, voicing itself that it did not like that little stunt she had performed.
There was very little time left before she could possible spill her pride all over the floor and in her jeans. Bon Bon shuffled her hooves at light speed turning into the hallway careful not to agitate her body as running could be dangerous at this point. She then shuffled faster to the point of where her body began playing pinball against the hallway walls. Accidentally knocking and breaking several picture frames to the hard wood floor with each bump. Soon she was only five feet away from her destination.
She broke into a trot and raced into the open bathroom only to be met by her cheery roommate standing on a ladder. Bon Bon stopped in her tracks but, time was running out.
“Lyra out now, I need to use the bathroom!” Bon Bon blurted out, while clutching her rear.
“Oh hey Bonnie didn’t see yah, yeah I just replaced the ceiling vent with a newer model. It has a vent and heater built in together. Absolut-” Lyra tried to say but, Bon Bon cut her off.
“Yeah, yeah that’s very nice Lyra and thank you but, I really have to go. Now!”
“Ok, ok I get the message; just let me get this ladder out of here and it’s all yours.” Lyra replied, as she folded the ladder and painstakingly tried maneuvering it out of the bathroom.
The ladder was slung vertically over her right shoulder and with even the slightest turn of her body would cause it to slam violently against the walls of the small bathroom. Lyra turned her body right to maneuver the ladder over the sink which cause the rear of it to slam against the tiled walls to the left, chipping at least three tiles. Wondering what she accidentally hit, Lyra turned her body to the left causing the rear of the ladder to smash into ornamented mirror hanging on the walls above the toilet breaking it into many pieces, causing the shards to rained upon the water tank of the toilet and the floor at the base of the toilet. She then turned to her body right to see what she had done, causing the rear of the ladder to smash against even more tiles causing more tiles to break and fall upon the bathroom floor tiles. The entire thing was like something out of a skit of the Three Fillies comedy routine. Bon Bon watched in horror of the train wreck that was happening right in front of her.
“Lyra are you trying to mess with me because if you are it’s working. Just leave the ladder on the floor and go that’s all you have to do. Quit making it harder than it has to!” Bon Bon shouted in a fit of rage.
“Ok, ok geez. If you’re gonna be a hothead I’ll just go out to Pony Joe’s for a while.” She replied, as she dropped the ladder right onto the floor causing one of the floor tiles to crack, and proceeded to walk out of the bathroom with a huff.
“This girl is going give me a heart attack.” Bon Bon thought.
Lyra turned and craned her head from the hallway and informed, “Oh and I moved some of the switc-”
But, Bon Bon slammed the door in her face.
“Yes, I finally made it.” She thought.
Bon Bon flipped the switch to the heater, accidentally thinking it was the vents, and raced towards the toilet, yanking her jeans and undergarments down, and sitting just seconds before the timer ran out. Instantly she could feel it trying to escape her, the length and girth of it would lead her to believe it was a monster. And judging by the size of it she knew it would take a lot of effort to evict the unhappy tenant, no matter how willing it is to go.
Bon Bon took a breath before deciding to push when she was hit with a sudden warmth, “Huh, why is it warm in here all of a sudden?” She questioned herself. “Oh right, it must be that new heater Lyra just installed. I must’ve hit the wrong switch and turned on by mistake. But, it does feel nice…I might be able get use to this.”
But, she was wrong and did not know of the horrors that would await her. She started push at what felt like 50% power, straining herself only slightly. Yet the unhappy tenant would not budge, it was as if he wanted his landlord to do all the work for him. Unable to make any progress, she pushed yet again but, this time at double the amount of power. The strain on her body was immense compared to the amount of work her body was doing. The tenant itself only carried maybe two boxes worth of his belongings out of his rented unit.
Bon Bon had to stop for a moment as the strain on her body caused her to lose breath. She contemplated whether or not she should continue pushing the tenant out or let him go on his own with no pressure, until a something hit her like a baseball bat.
“Sniff, sniff, w-what’s that smell? I…Arrgghhh, no Celestia please it’s the my poop, the heater is warming it up making it smell even worse than it already is! I got to turn it off.” Bon Bon exclaimed.
Bon Bon lifted herself off the toilet seat before remembering that she still had a tenant to deal with.
“No this is the worst kind of hell imaginable. The heater is making my poop smell but, I can’t turn it off when it’s still hanging halfway inside of me. The only things I could do is either keep pushing; grab it and pull it out, swing side to side and hope it breaks, or risk dropping some of it all over the floor.” Bon Bon said, as her face was stricken with disgust.
For a moment she put her hooves and thought out the outcomes of the possibilities, “If I keep pushing I there’s a possibility I would get nowhere fast, and grabbing it and pulling it seems kind of painful and dirty even with my hoof wrapped in toilet paper, swinging side to side might not go well either since I would probably have to clean the toilet and my butt cheeks of the filth, and just getting up and turning the heater off with the thing still halfway inside is also a bad idea considering It might all come out at once. What do I do?”
Bon Bon looked around the bathroom for anything she could use to aid her in turning the heater off; the shampoo bottle was heavy and nearly full but, there would be a chance of it breaking, the ladder would be too heavy to use at this position, and the only other thing she could use would be the toilet paper roll but, if she were to miss…
“That’s it, enough fooling around; I’m doing this brute force baby!” Bon Bon exclaimed as she pulled her shirt over her head and tossed it with great aim at the hook on the bathroom door.
Bon Bon anchored her hind legs out and her forelegs onto her thighs, anchoring herself to the toilet seat, such a position it would look as if she was ready to blast off to the moon. She was ready and made a finally all or nothing; and she gave it more than her all. At 120% power she pushed harder than she pushed ever before, her body was strained, nearly at the breaking point. For a mere ten seconds she was in the zone, the tenant had finally started picking up boxes again and started moving them outside.
All went well until she promptly blacked out from the strain of pushing. The bravery and fierceness she proved all but, vain as her body went limp; she fell over to her right, her shoulder bounced off the sink counter only for it to land lifelessly on the cold tiles of the bathroom floor. Unfortunately for the unlucky tenant, his body was shredded into several pieces landing on either Bon Bon’s jeans; in her undergarments, her rear end, and even splattered all over the bathroom tiles.
For a good ten seconds Bon Bon lay their unconscious in her own filth, luckily Lyra had made it back home with a goodie bag of donuts a minute earlier.
“What was that? Bon Bon you ok?” Lyra trotted towards the bathroom with worry.
In front of the bathroom door she cringed at the smell coming from inside the bathroom, “Oh Celestia what is that smell. It’s worse than that time where I microwaved Wiona’s turd to get back at Applejack, mostly for not picking up her dog’s turd when she pooped on our lawn. But it was funny watching Applejack’s face when she was scraping it off her barn door though hehe. No wait focus Lyra, Bonnie could be in trouble.”
“Bon Bon you ok?” She said once more.
Still no answer and Lyra was getting worried. Right away she lined herself up to buck the door, she readied herself, and on three she shot her hind legs to the spot next to the doorknob. The initial hit caused the door lock to break free from its doorframe it connected to. And there Bon Bon was lying almost naked on the bathroom floor with her doo doo almost everywhere.
“Bon Bon!” Lyra shouted as she dove towards her friend trying to shake her awake. “Bon Bon wake up please!”
Bon Bon’s eyelids slowly crept up, still in a daze she asked, “W-where am I?”
“You’re still in the bathroom.” Lyra replied.
“Did you hit your head? What were you doing in here?”
“No I didn’t hit my head. I think I passed out while I was pooping, feel kind of dizzy though.” Bon Bon replied.
“Yeah I guess that’s a possibility.” Lyra said, as she walked over to the bathroom switches; flipping the bathroom vent on, and the heater off.
“Come on let’s get you cleaned up. Let me help you up.”
In the end, the rest of the afternoon was filled with much; wet naps, soap, water, clogged toilets, and shame. Bon Bon couldn’t really live down the event as she was constantly reminded by a certain roommate.
Author's Note
For everybody reading this please, when you are pooping do not push very hard. If you have to push, do it with a small amount of force and little by little. People have died on the toilet seat pushing really hard so be careful please. I'm writing this story slightly exaggerated from something that happened in real life to my female childhood friend when we were in Vegas several years ago. I had to clean her with wet naps before helping her rinse off in the shower just because we ran out of toilet paper. Also the Flamingo had the balls to charge me $6 to bring me two extra rolls of toilet paper to my room when last time I was there our room usually had like seven rolls on hand at all times.
In this case, what happens in Vegas does not stay in Vegas.
